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1
00:00:35,900 --> 00:00:38,060
'Ang on a minute!
2
00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:43,980
I got summat sharp in me welly.
3
00:00:43,980 --> 00:00:46,300
Have to be sharp to survive that.
4
00:00:49,260 --> 00:00:50,820
Wow!
5
00:00:50,820 --> 00:00:53,300
It's sharp all right, is that.
6
00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:57,420
By God! You could frighten peacocks
with a sock like that.
7
00:00:57,420 --> 00:01:00,500
They was reduced.
I'm glad about that.
8
00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:04,500
I'd hate to see 'em on full power!
What'll you do when
the battery's gone?
9
00:01:05,860 --> 00:01:07,420
They're not electric.
10
00:01:07,420 --> 00:01:08,660
They are from here.
11
00:01:12,700 --> 00:01:14,960
How can he do that without
an anaesthetic?
12
00:01:16,420 --> 00:01:21,160
I washed my feet! I wash 'em
every time I put new socks on.
13
00:01:21,220 --> 00:01:22,460
Every time?
14
00:01:22,460 --> 00:01:26,060
Well...nearly every time.
15
00:01:29,300 --> 00:01:30,820
Hey! Look at that!
16
00:01:30,820 --> 00:01:32,500
No, I don't think we'll bother.
17
00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:35,700
That's a flint for a lighter.
18
00:01:37,900 --> 00:01:40,380
It's very mysterious, is that.
19
00:01:40,380 --> 00:01:45,220
You're right y'know.
I was just thinking,
that's the most mysterious...
20
00:01:45,220 --> 00:01:48,220
..handkerchief I've ever seen.
Me other one's in the wash.
21
00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:51,220
The wash?
22
00:01:51,220 --> 00:01:57,060
I mean it's mysterious,
'cos I 'aven't got a lighter. So,
what's a flint doin' in me welly?
23
00:01:57,500 --> 00:02:01,060
You better look in the other welly.
You might find the lighter.
24
00:02:05,020 --> 00:02:07,060
That's better.
25
00:02:09,540 --> 00:02:13,940
Did you notice how dark it went,
when he put that sock back in?
26
00:02:15,020 --> 00:02:20,340
Quite a rare astronomical event,
total eclipse of the sock.
27
00:02:25,220 --> 00:02:32,220
You think it's goin' t'be another
ordinary day, and then suddenly
y'find a flint in yer welly!
28
00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:36,140
Good job there wasn't a spark,
could've blown your foot off.
29
00:02:38,620 --> 00:02:42,780
If there's no guiding hand
behind the Universe...
30
00:02:42,780 --> 00:02:46,820
..how come bananas are just
the right shape for your mouth?
31
00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:52,020
Couldn't get bananas in wartime.
32
00:02:52,020 --> 00:02:54,340
Couldn't get Lily Matthews either.
33
00:02:55,580 --> 00:02:57,980
I know. I tried.
34
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:05,660
She was RAF mad, yer 'adn't got
a chance if yer wore khaki.
35
00:03:05,660 --> 00:03:08,780
Not even scruffy khaki? No.
36
00:03:08,780 --> 00:03:14,420
And I were really good at scruffy
khaki. Mind you, it were
scruffy when yer got it.
37
00:03:14,420 --> 00:03:17,940
You were supposed to press it.
38
00:03:17,940 --> 00:03:23,940
Oh that's great! Yer gotta go out
an' die for 'em an' yer gotta
press yer suit for the privilege.
39
00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:29,060
Dying a lot round Aldershot,
were they?
40
00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:31,060
Only for bananas.
41
00:03:31,460 --> 00:03:36,020
That's not the point - I didn't
know I wasn't goin' t'die, did I?
42
00:03:36,020 --> 00:03:41,780
They gave me a rifle and a
bayonet. I thought, hello, hello!
This is not for pickin' yer teeth.
43
00:03:41,780 --> 00:03:48,180
There I was with a gun and a
bayonet and in civvie street they
'ad me for keepin' a few ferrets!
44
00:03:49,460 --> 00:03:52,820
Think they were going to send you
ferreting after the Germans?
45
00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:57,820
That could've flushed Adolf
out of his bunker.
46
00:03:57,820 --> 00:04:02,020
I like it - 'The Secret War Of
Compo Simmonite'.
47
00:04:02,020 --> 00:04:03,980
'The Day Of The Ferret'.
48
00:04:04,820 --> 00:04:08,540
Eat yer banana.
It's all gone.
49
00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:13,180
That's life. Suddenly it's high
summer and yer banana's all gone.
50
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:20,620
I should've joined the RAF an'
'ad a tour of ops on Lily Matthews.
51
00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:29,180
She was ugly. Only from the front.
And you know him in wartime.
He never went near the front.
52
00:04:30,340 --> 00:04:32,740
I tried for a reserve occupation.
53
00:04:32,899 --> 00:04:37,500
And no one was more reserved about
54
00:04:44,780 --> 00:04:46,299
Who's steerin'?
55
00:04:46,299 --> 00:04:51,100
He's steering. I thought you were.
56
00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:09,100
The last time I was in a hedge
bottom I was with a bird from
Nottingham. Nature lover.
57
00:05:09,740 --> 00:05:15,280
Couldn't she steer either?
We wasn't cyclin', we was courtin'.
58
00:05:16,780 --> 00:05:22,100
And you brought her to this dyke
bottom. Spared no expense, did you?
59
00:05:22,940 --> 00:05:27,540
In the pursuit of love, you've
been in some interesting places.
60
00:05:28,100 --> 00:05:30,700
Oh I 'ave though, I 'ave.
61
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:35,940
I should imagine courting and
ferreting seem similar to you.
62
00:05:36,740 --> 00:05:38,020
They do.
63
00:05:38,540 --> 00:05:40,940
Just the quarry that's different.
64
00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:43,380
Bin in some quarries an'all.
65
00:05:43,980 --> 00:05:46,580
You know how he tells them apart?
66
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:48,680
The rabbits are prettier!
67
00:05:50,580 --> 00:05:52,180
Mildred were pretty.
68
00:05:52,540 --> 00:05:54,820
That's a nice name for a rabbit.
69
00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:58,680
She weren't a rabbit!
She were a welder.
70
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:00,680
Oh, that one.
71
00:06:02,740 --> 00:06:04,220
Oh, she were pretty.
72
00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:06,100
Pretty loud.
73
00:06:09,340 --> 00:06:13,020
Are we all in one piece then?
Oh fine!
74
00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:23,540
I've been thinking,
we're going to have to get 3 bikes.
75
00:06:35,537 --> 00:06:37,537
I'll do the talking.
76
00:06:37,537 --> 00:06:39,217
All right.
77
00:06:43,177 --> 00:06:44,537
How do, Percy?
78
00:06:45,337 --> 00:06:48,077
Less of the Percy. It's Dirk...
79
00:06:48,077 --> 00:06:49,377
..all right?
80
00:06:50,877 --> 00:06:56,497
It's been Dirk for 15 years.
Are you with me? I paid heavy bread
for it legally.
81
00:06:56,497 --> 00:06:59,477
If yer don't like it,
try Mr Westerfield.
82
00:06:59,477 --> 00:07:05,337
Tha 'asn't got a chance
Percy. We've known thee
since thee were a lad.
83
00:07:05,337 --> 00:07:11,777
What kind of a name is Percy, for a
man with his own business, drives
a Jag, with irons in the fire?
84
00:07:11,777 --> 00:07:15,077
I'm going to be Finkle Street's
1st millionaire.
85
00:07:15,077 --> 00:07:17,537
Yer like the sound, right?
86
00:07:17,537 --> 00:07:20,297
Ah! Tha gets funnier than ever.
87
00:07:20,477 --> 00:07:24,337
All right, so it's taking time.
88
00:07:24,337 --> 00:07:29,977
I'm 50. A young 50.
I'm not yer flash-in-the-pan
overnight whiz kid
89
00:07:30,817 --> 00:07:32,217
That's true.
90
00:07:32,897 --> 00:07:34,737
Yes, we'll give you that, Percy.
91
00:07:35,377 --> 00:07:37,217
Dirk, it's Dirk.
92
00:07:37,337 --> 00:07:40,817
You're not anybody's flash-in-the-
pan overnight whiz kid.
93
00:07:40,817 --> 00:07:41,617
Know why?
94
00:07:42,177 --> 00:07:43,537
Incompetence?
95
00:07:44,537 --> 00:07:49,577
I'll tell you why -
because I've never had the breaks.
Same with Clegg's bike!
96
00:07:50,017 --> 00:07:50,937
Y'know what...
97
00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:56,217
..the 2nd hand trade really needs?
A good war. A really good big war.
98
00:07:56,217 --> 00:07:59,697
Suddenly yer into army surplus
and yer laughin'.
99
00:07:59,697 --> 00:08:05,937
I shouldn't be pratting about with
washing machines. I should have a
row of rocket launchers over there.
100
00:08:05,937 --> 00:08:09,897
A big demand for rocket launchers
around here, is there?
101
00:08:10,297 --> 00:08:12,377
Be international, wouldn't I?
102
00:08:12,377 --> 00:08:18,697
Wherever men gathered for military
hardware, there'd be this whisper,
'Have you tried Dirk's?'
103
00:08:19,297 --> 00:08:22,817
Then there'd be this other whisper,
104
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:28,337
What are you complaining about?
We've had a perfectly good big war.
105
00:08:28,777 --> 00:08:35,617
Well, I missed it. Ah, tha were
a bit late there, Dirkus.
They started before I was ready.
106
00:08:36,137 --> 00:08:39,137
I remember having the
same impression.
107
00:08:39,777 --> 00:08:44,137
Never mind, I thought, they'll have
another, and what happened? Nuthin.
108
00:08:44,137 --> 00:08:48,577
I woke up every mornin' with a keen
sense of expectation - nuthin.
109
00:08:48,577 --> 00:08:52,737
Oh, yer can grow old waitin' for
bombs to start droppin' round 'ere.
110
00:08:52,737 --> 00:08:54,737
Right lads, what can I do for yer?
111
00:08:54,857 --> 00:08:55,657
Bicycles.
112
00:08:55,657 --> 00:08:58,457
Hey! Watch yer language, Elsie!
113
00:08:58,457 --> 00:09:00,577
Are yer buyin' or sellin'?
114
00:09:00,577 --> 00:09:01,497
Buying.
115
00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:05,297
Well, in that case, you're entitled
to my number one friendly smile.
116
00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:09,437
If yer were sellin'...
117
00:09:09,437 --> 00:09:12,497
..I have to put on this
rock hard expression.
118
00:09:12,497 --> 00:09:16,297
Oh! What's this?
A take-over bid?
119
00:09:16,497 --> 00:09:21,297
We're looking for a couple of old
but serviceable machines...cheap.
120
00:09:21,297 --> 00:09:23,297
Dirt cheap.
121
00:09:24,537 --> 00:09:26,937
Dirt cheap..I don't know when...
122
00:09:26,937 --> 00:09:28,977
..I'm gonna get my yacht.
123
00:09:28,977 --> 00:09:32,897
I'm gonna be about 60 before
I start pullin' birds.
124
00:09:32,897 --> 00:09:35,457
It'll be a race against time.
125
00:09:35,537 --> 00:09:39,257
Have you got a selection of
machines we could examine?
126
00:09:39,697 --> 00:09:43,777
Examine? For dirt cheap you expect
to EXAMINE?
127
00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:51,457
Well, what price did you
'ave in mind then, man?
45 quid, rock bottom.
128
00:09:51,837 --> 00:09:53,737
45 quid!
129
00:09:55,057 --> 00:09:57,897
Well, what price did yer 'ave
in mind, man?
130
00:09:57,897 --> 00:09:59,837
5 quid, man.
131
00:09:59,837 --> 00:10:00,937
Get out!
132
00:10:00,937 --> 00:10:02,177
Each, man.
133
00:10:02,177 --> 00:10:03,257
Out!
134
00:10:04,497 --> 00:10:06,257
'Ang on, 'ang on.
135
00:10:07,137 --> 00:10:09,137
I'll tell you what I'll do.
136
00:10:09,637 --> 00:10:14,857
I've got a shed full of
bicycle parts. I'll let you knock
your own machines together.
137
00:10:14,857 --> 00:10:17,457
An' we'll arrange the money.
138
00:10:29,177 --> 00:10:34,457
He hasn't got the 1st idea and
he won't let me help him with it.
139
00:10:34,457 --> 00:10:36,897
That's not a bad
1st idea.
140
00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:41,337
I wash my hands of it.
Oh, is that my wheel?
141
00:10:41,337 --> 00:10:46,497
Well, I hope so, 'cos if it's a
musical instrument it's going to
very awkward to play.
142
00:10:47,377 --> 00:10:50,837
Well, I suppose we shouldn't be
unkind to Little Electric Socks.
143
00:10:50,837 --> 00:10:54,097
But I must say,
I do rather enjoy it.
144
00:10:54,097 --> 00:10:57,657
Well, you have to smile, don't you?
We're not really being unkind.
145
00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:00,857
He knows I'll help when
he comes unstuck.
146
00:11:07,697 --> 00:11:12,137
Tha should see 'im with a spanner!
'E's got no idea!
147
00:11:12,137 --> 00:11:14,397
Hey, is that my frame?
148
00:11:14,397 --> 00:11:19,817
Well, I hope so, 'cos if it's a
musical instrument it's going to
be very awkward to blow.
149
00:11:21,537 --> 00:11:26,657
'E's worse with a spanner than
'e is wi' a woman. But all tall
blokes are the same, aren't they?
150
00:11:26,857 --> 00:11:30,257
Don't look at me, I'm a short bloke.
151
00:11:31,737 --> 00:11:36,217
'E keeps lookin' at me machine all
envious, I pretend I'm not lookin'.
152
00:11:36,297 --> 00:11:39,937
Ah, yer can't be unkind to Big
Elsie really, can yer?
153
00:11:39,937 --> 00:11:44,857
I mean 'e knows full well I'll
'elp 'im if 'e comes unstuck.
154
00:11:45,297 --> 00:11:47,497
Think I'll give 'im a Tally Ho.
155
00:11:57,337 --> 00:12:02,017
It looks a picture. Let's 'ope we
get a better class of customer.
156
00:12:02,017 --> 00:12:04,337
Or even a better class of staff.
157
00:12:05,197 --> 00:12:08,297
'Ow many more
trips upstairs?
158
00:12:08,297 --> 00:12:11,257
Wait till yer 'ave
t'run with the food.
159
00:12:12,657 --> 00:12:14,897
Think they'll ever
like work?
160
00:12:14,897 --> 00:12:22,817
I wouldn't expect so,
it's too late.
They're past it.
161
00:12:23,617 --> 00:12:26,857
They were past it before
they even started it.
162
00:12:26,857 --> 00:12:31,457
Yes...well, you'll not
change the 'abits
of a lifetime.
163
00:12:31,457 --> 00:12:34,217
Suppose not,
depressin' though.
164
00:12:34,217 --> 00:12:41,417
Oh yes, very depressin'.
I blame a lot of it
on television meself.
165
00:12:41,417 --> 00:12:42,397
Why?
166
00:12:42,397 --> 00:12:46,497
Well...yer see all these funny ways
of livin'.
167
00:12:46,497 --> 00:12:49,857
People enjoyin' themselves.
168
00:12:49,857 --> 00:12:55,057
It makes it 'ard for them to adjust
to the fact that REAL life...
169
00:12:55,057 --> 00:12:59,337
..if you're honest and decent,
is bound to be pretty borin'.
170
00:13:00,257 --> 00:13:02,617
Do you find yer 'usband borin'?
171
00:13:03,697 --> 00:13:09,057
Oh yes! I wouldn't 'ave 'im
any other way.
172
00:13:10,897 --> 00:13:12,497
So predictable.
173
00:13:12,497 --> 00:13:15,017
Yes, they are,
aren't they.
174
00:13:15,017 --> 00:13:20,377
Predictable and borin'.
We've a lot to be
thankful for.
175
00:13:21,697 --> 00:13:24,217
Well, a bit,
anyway.
176
00:13:24,817 --> 00:13:33,257
Mind you keep them overalls clean.
People come 'ere for food, they're
entitled to nothing but cleanliness.
177
00:13:34,777 --> 00:13:36,817
Hey up! Oh my God!
178
00:13:36,817 --> 00:13:43,457
Keep your 'ands off my walls!
Stand there! Just stand there
and don't move.
179
00:13:43,457 --> 00:13:46,377
Don't move! What about some grub?
We're starvin'.
180
00:13:46,497 --> 00:13:52,017
One step at a time. Just stay
there a minute and let's establish
some ground rules.
181
00:13:52,017 --> 00:13:55,457
What happened to that homely air
of neglect?
182
00:13:56,257 --> 00:13:59,497
It's very smart, congratulations.
183
00:13:59,497 --> 00:14:04,097
We're aimin' for a better class of
customer, we're obviously failin'.
184
00:14:05,417 --> 00:14:09,497
It's like a hospital Hey! There's
Dr Kildare with 'is faithful...
185
00:14:09,617 --> 00:14:12,257
..nurse, Sister Wally.
Knife.
186
00:14:13,977 --> 00:14:16,357
Just look at the state you're in.
187
00:14:16,357 --> 00:14:18,977
We've been building bicycles.
188
00:14:19,097 --> 00:14:20,177
Bicycles?
189
00:14:20,177 --> 00:14:21,417
At Percy Dirk's.
190
00:14:21,577 --> 00:14:26,497
Ooh! That's somethin'
like a man's job! Buildin' bicycles.
191
00:14:26,497 --> 00:14:31,177
Hey up! Who's that posed so
seductively up them steps?
192
00:14:31,457 --> 00:14:34,177
Ugh! Wrinkled
stockin's!
193
00:14:34,577 --> 00:14:36,157
Keep 'im away!
194
00:14:36,157 --> 00:14:38,817
Don't worry, I'll keep 'm away.
195
00:14:38,817 --> 00:14:40,977
Yer can't refuse to serve 'em.
196
00:14:40,977 --> 00:14:47,417
Nobody's refusin' to serve 'em.
They're just goin' to get it...
continental style.
197
00:14:47,417 --> 00:14:50,177
Continental style?
Continental style?
Continental style?
198
00:14:50,617 --> 00:14:52,897
I never 'ad it like that before!
199
00:14:57,297 --> 00:15:00,697
I feel a prawn stuck out 'ere.
200
00:15:00,697 --> 00:15:05,577
I agree. It's a bit like
making love in a railway station.
201
00:15:07,217 --> 00:15:11,097
I think it's quite pleasant eating
outside. Why should you feel...
202
00:15:11,097 --> 00:15:12,577
..a prawn?
203
00:15:12,577 --> 00:15:14,457
Them, for a start.
204
00:15:17,577 --> 00:15:20,157
What time does the show start?
205
00:15:20,157 --> 00:15:23,557
What are you talking about?
Get off home!
206
00:15:27,817 --> 00:15:29,377
Is 'e the comic?
207
00:15:29,377 --> 00:15:31,977
Go away! Go on!
208
00:15:32,457 --> 00:15:34,257
Be off, all of you. Go home!
209
00:15:35,537 --> 00:15:42,937
Beggars! Doesn't it give you a
warm feeling knowing that 70% of
your rates go on education.
210
00:15:58,017 --> 00:15:59,457
It's for yer fingers!
211
00:16:07,457 --> 00:16:09,577
Hey, garsong!
212
00:16:09,577 --> 00:16:11,817
I wish you'd give over.
213
00:16:11,817 --> 00:16:17,977
It's all right for you lot out 'ere.
You were out makin' bicycles.
214
00:16:19,217 --> 00:16:22,117
I'm stuck waitin' on tables.
215
00:16:22,117 --> 00:16:24,417
Do we have to eat out here?
216
00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:31,117
There must be some scruffy little
corner Ivy could fit us into.
Even if it's only the kitchen.
217
00:16:31,217 --> 00:16:36,137
You're safer out
'ere today. It's a
man's world out 'ere.
218
00:16:36,137 --> 00:16:41,377
I never realised
'ow much I missed the
irresponsiblity and bad language.
219
00:16:41,377 --> 00:16:43,977
We're perfectly all right out here.
220
00:16:43,977 --> 00:16:46,977
Nora's got eyes in the back
of 'er pinny.
221
00:16:46,977 --> 00:16:51,537
Ivy's in a panic on account of this
private party she's 'avin'.
222
00:16:52,577 --> 00:16:55,737
It's really quite
civilised out here.
223
00:16:55,737 --> 00:16:59,937
And that's the way it's
going to stay. Kindly
stop reaching across people.
224
00:16:59,937 --> 00:17:02,537
Watch yer manners now yer on show.
225
00:17:02,537 --> 00:17:08,377
Listen Wonderwoman, I'm starvin'.
This bike buildin'
gives yer an appetite.
226
00:17:08,617 --> 00:17:11,577
Not to mention the skin off
his knuckles.
227
00:17:11,577 --> 00:17:14,137
Call that thing of yours a bike?
228
00:17:16,977 --> 00:17:19,657
No more weird than the thing
you're buildin'.
229
00:17:19,657 --> 00:17:23,657
Now stand back!
I'm givin' yer due warnin'.
230
00:17:23,657 --> 00:17:26,777
Nothin's comin' between me and
this pie.
231
00:17:27,577 --> 00:17:29,377
Oh God!
232
00:19:16,417 --> 00:19:20,977
Here it comes, then.
Are you ready for this?
233
00:19:21,377 --> 00:19:22,377
CRASH
234
00:19:22,377 --> 00:19:26,377
Oh no, hang on, hang on!
There's a piece just fallen off!
235
00:19:29,137 --> 00:19:34,897
If wheeling it is going to shake
it to pieces, why don't you just
carry it very gently?
236
00:19:37,737 --> 00:19:40,897
ANGRY SHOUTS
Just listen to that language!
237
00:19:40,897 --> 00:19:42,497
Me screwdriver's slipped!
238
00:19:42,677 --> 00:19:49,297
It's marvellous! He hasn't been
cycling 2 minutes and already he's
picked up the vocabulary!
239
00:19:50,137 --> 00:19:54,977
It's done. I'm comin'.
Is tha ready?
240
00:19:54,977 --> 00:19:56,497
Get on with it.
241
00:20:04,297 --> 00:20:05,497
Well...
242
00:20:07,077 --> 00:20:08,697
It's different.
243
00:20:10,837 --> 00:20:13,777
She's a little cracker, is this.
244
00:20:14,737 --> 00:20:19,897
Don't stand there gigglin'.
Go and get yours, then we can
all 'ave a good giggle.
245
00:20:19,897 --> 00:20:22,437
I'll match yours anytime.
246
00:20:22,437 --> 00:20:26,177
Yer should see it! Well, go on.
247
00:20:26,177 --> 00:20:28,057
Hey, Norm.
248
00:20:29,977 --> 00:20:35,537
What does tha think of this nimble
little machine? Not bad, eh?
249
00:20:35,537 --> 00:20:39,337
Isn't it a bit...low at the front?
250
00:20:39,337 --> 00:20:40,497
LOW?
251
00:20:40,497 --> 00:20:45,897
Don't get upset. I didn't mean
low. I meant low and high.
252
00:20:45,897 --> 00:20:49,697
'Course it's low!
She's a little racer.
253
00:20:49,697 --> 00:20:52,537
Better than 'is great clumsy lump.
254
00:20:52,537 --> 00:20:55,057
Built to last is this machine.
255
00:20:55,257 --> 00:20:58,337
That's what they said about
the Titanic.
256
00:21:05,657 --> 00:21:11,097
It IS the Titanic!
He's put pedals on the Titanic.
257
00:21:11,097 --> 00:21:16,337
A larger machine for a taller
figure. It seems perfectly
logical to me.
258
00:21:16,337 --> 00:21:20,297
Goin' t'get a nasty 'eadache
goin' under low bridges.
259
00:21:20,297 --> 00:21:25,137
Don't exaggerate. The thing's
merely a comfortable height
for my length of leg.
260
00:21:25,297 --> 00:21:28,657
I feel the same way
exactly about Nora Batty.
261
00:21:30,257 --> 00:21:32,177
Where are we going riding?
262
00:21:32,977 --> 00:21:34,457
Does it matter?
263
00:21:34,457 --> 00:21:37,657
It does if you're determined
to make a spectacle of yourself.
264
00:21:37,737 --> 00:21:40,257
A spectacle of myself?
265
00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:41,337
I assure you...
266
00:21:41,437 --> 00:21:42,577
..this machine and I...
267
00:21:42,577 --> 00:21:45,857
..have no intention of
making a spectacle of ourselves.
268
00:21:51,497 --> 00:21:55,337
Hang on. We'll have to wait for
Faithful Dobbin again.
269
00:21:56,377 --> 00:21:58,857
Again?
What's 'e doin'?
270
00:21:58,857 --> 00:22:02,257
About 2 mph, you've seen
what he's doing.
271
00:22:36,337 --> 00:22:39,057
Dear oh dear!
272
00:22:50,097 --> 00:22:53,257
Straighten up man!
273
00:22:53,257 --> 00:22:57,457
I can't!
Me back's locked!
274
00:22:57,457 --> 00:22:59,097
Locked?
275
00:22:59,497 --> 00:23:05,457
Well not to worry, because if it's
any consolation, through that hole
there, I can see your combination!
276
00:23:07,997 --> 00:23:10,497
Keep yer 'ands off my paintwork.
277
00:23:10,497 --> 00:23:14,097
I'll topple over if I 'aven't got
anythin' to 'old onto.
278
00:23:14,857 --> 00:23:17,817
Well hold onto this thought
for today.
279
00:23:17,817 --> 00:23:23,297
If you put a mark on this
paintwork, I'll feed you through
me waste disposal.
280
00:23:23,297 --> 00:23:24,537
Bones an' all!
281
00:23:26,737 --> 00:23:28,817
Right, get him down.
282
00:23:28,817 --> 00:23:31,057
ARRGH! OOH!
283
00:23:31,057 --> 00:23:34,297
ARRGH! That's right,
be brave!
284
00:23:34,297 --> 00:23:36,537
Oh, I am goin'
t'get better?
285
00:23:36,697 --> 00:23:39,457
I am goin' t'get better, eh?
286
00:23:39,457 --> 00:23:41,257
Why's it all gone quiet?
287
00:23:41,257 --> 00:23:44,817
We're thinking. You don't want
a casual snap answer.
288
00:23:44,937 --> 00:23:47,857
Yes, I do. I want a casual
snap answer.
289
00:23:48,057 --> 00:23:51,897
It's just a little crick in the
back. Worse things happen in bed.
290
00:23:52,297 --> 00:23:54,737
Not in MY bed, they don't.
291
00:23:55,697 --> 00:23:57,737
I can vouch for that.
292
00:24:00,457 --> 00:24:02,857
What's up? Tryin' t'get 'im into
a parcel?
293
00:24:02,857 --> 00:24:05,937
It's a little bicycle fatigue.
Try this.
294
00:24:07,297 --> 00:24:08,897
Get yerself down here.
295
00:24:15,657 --> 00:24:17,897
Hang on, I know 'ow to solve it.
296
00:24:21,937 --> 00:24:25,097
Oh I like that, I like that!
297
00:24:25,417 --> 00:24:28,817
I've never seen such an exhibition
298
00:24:28,817 --> 00:24:34,017
This situation is going to need
some very delicate handling. In
fact hardly any handling at all.
299
00:24:34,417 --> 00:24:36,697
Yes, well I'll leave yer to it.
300
00:24:36,697 --> 00:24:43,297
There are darker corners of this
Universe into which a woman of my
sensibility is not disposed to pry.
301
00:24:44,497 --> 00:24:48,817
Oh, while yer straightenin' 'im up,
KEEP 'IS 'ANDS OFF MY WOODWORK!
302
00:24:50,057 --> 00:24:51,297
Oooh!
303
00:24:52,617 --> 00:24:57,017
How ARE we going to straighten
him up? I think I know how.
304
00:24:59,697 --> 00:25:02,017
Sorry to have to inform you, Ivy...
305
00:25:02,017 --> 00:25:08,017
..but a certain crippled person has
accidentally put his mucky fingers
all over your paintwork.
306
00:25:08,017 --> 00:25:09,097
THAT'S A LIE!
307
00:25:09,097 --> 00:25:12,057
ON MY PAINTWORK! Oh don't leave me!
308
00:25:13,497 --> 00:25:16,577
^
I told you!
OOOOOH!
309
00:25:23,777 --> 00:25:27,217
By heck, Sid! Tha needs a medal.
310
00:25:28,977 --> 00:25:30,897
Feeling better?
311
00:25:30,897 --> 00:25:34,977
That was a rotten trick. But was it
worth it to get yer health back?
312
00:25:34,977 --> 00:25:36,857
It come back all of a rush.
313
00:25:36,857 --> 00:25:41,857
Well, now you're fit again.
Ready to make yourself obnoxious
to all the ladies.
314
00:25:43,217 --> 00:25:45,417
I do my best.
315
00:25:45,417 --> 00:25:47,957
There's nobody does it better.
316
00:25:51,097 --> 00:25:56,297
It's all right for you lot, she
just throws you out. Me she keeps!
317
00:26:01,057 --> 00:26:03,577
Is tha sure this thing's better?
318
00:26:03,577 --> 00:26:07,897
Of course it's better. This way
we all keep at the same speed.
319
00:26:07,897 --> 00:26:12,777
Look at Cleggy.
'E looks worried about it.
Only because I'm worried about it.
320
00:26:12,777 --> 00:26:18,857
There's absolutely nothing to
worry about. It's going to be a
very stable machine.
321
00:26:25,357 --> 00:26:28,417
There! A stroke of genius.
322
00:26:28,417 --> 00:26:32,057
I mean look at it. Stands up
by itself.
323
00:26:32,057 --> 00:26:36,977
How safe can yer get?
6 wheels, more than a Rolls Royce.
324
00:26:37,577 --> 00:26:42,417
I was 'appier when me only worry
was a flint in me welly.
325
00:26:42,417 --> 00:26:44,977
Why are you being so negative?
326
00:26:44,977 --> 00:26:47,417
Tell him, tell him. All I ask...
327
00:26:47,557 --> 00:26:50,177
..is a fair trial.
328
00:26:50,257 --> 00:26:53,177
It looks guilty to me.
329
00:26:54,057 --> 00:26:55,097
You'll see.
330
00:26:55,977 --> 00:27:02,417
You mark my words. The world is
going to be amazed that nobody's
ever thought of this idea before.
331
00:27:03,857 --> 00:27:11,617
The name Dewhurst is going to be
up there alongside Stevenson,
Edison, Marconi...
332
00:27:13,137 --> 00:27:14,937
Who's that lot?
333
00:27:15,617 --> 00:27:18,857
Just to give you an idea...
they're all dead.
334
00:27:23,577 --> 00:27:26,777
It keeps goin' in all directions.
335
00:27:26,777 --> 00:27:29,977
That's because we haven't started
to ride it yet.
336
00:27:29,977 --> 00:27:35,377
Once we're in the saddles,
we'll be able to steer it
accurately. At what?
337
00:27:35,377 --> 00:27:41,537
At nothing. We're just going to
coast down this gentle slope
to get the feel of it.
338
00:27:44,457 --> 00:27:46,777
'As it got any brakes?
339
00:27:46,777 --> 00:27:53,117
Brakes? Not only has it got brakes.
It's got 3 independent
braking systems.
340
00:27:53,117 --> 00:27:55,417
That's more than a Rolls Royce.
341
00:28:00,137 --> 00:28:01,737
Here we go then.
342
00:28:06,337 --> 00:28:07,917
Why aren't we moving?
343
00:28:07,917 --> 00:28:10,417
'E's got 'is brakes on.
344
00:28:10,417 --> 00:28:12,777
Why have you got your brakes on?
345
00:28:12,777 --> 00:28:15,057
Because he's got his brakes on.
346
00:28:15,337 --> 00:28:17,317
Come on, let's go.
347
00:28:17,317 --> 00:28:18,537
Right.
348
00:28:31,137 --> 00:28:33,417
Isn't this pleasant?
349
00:28:34,177 --> 00:28:38,377
Now we'll test the brakes.
Wait for it! Wait for my signal.
350
00:28:38,377 --> 00:28:41,537
Can't just go braking when we
feel like it.
351
00:28:41,537 --> 00:28:44,137
We must all do it together.
352
00:28:44,257 --> 00:28:46,057
Watch for my signal.
353
00:28:48,137 --> 00:28:52,137
Braking detail...
ready...steady...GO!
354
00:29:06,417 --> 00:29:10,057
Tha 4-eyed, useless TWIT!
355
00:29:10,057 --> 00:29:12,737
And THAT'S more than a Rolls Royce.
356
00:30:04,077 --> 00:30:08,497
Subtitles by Sue Northwood
29270
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