All language subtitles for S06E04 - A Bicycle Made for Three

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:35,900 --> 00:00:38,060 'Ang on a minute! 2 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:43,980 I got summat sharp in me welly. 3 00:00:43,980 --> 00:00:46,300 Have to be sharp to survive that. 4 00:00:49,260 --> 00:00:50,820 Wow! 5 00:00:50,820 --> 00:00:53,300 It's sharp all right, is that. 6 00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:57,420 By God! You could frighten peacocks with a sock like that. 7 00:00:57,420 --> 00:01:00,500 They was reduced. I'm glad about that. 8 00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:04,500 I'd hate to see 'em on full power! What'll you do when the battery's gone? 9 00:01:05,860 --> 00:01:07,420 They're not electric. 10 00:01:07,420 --> 00:01:08,660 They are from here. 11 00:01:12,700 --> 00:01:14,960 How can he do that without an anaesthetic? 12 00:01:16,420 --> 00:01:21,160 I washed my feet! I wash 'em every time I put new socks on. 13 00:01:21,220 --> 00:01:22,460 Every time? 14 00:01:22,460 --> 00:01:26,060 Well...nearly every time. 15 00:01:29,300 --> 00:01:30,820 Hey! Look at that! 16 00:01:30,820 --> 00:01:32,500 No, I don't think we'll bother. 17 00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:35,700 That's a flint for a lighter. 18 00:01:37,900 --> 00:01:40,380 It's very mysterious, is that. 19 00:01:40,380 --> 00:01:45,220 You're right y'know. I was just thinking, that's the most mysterious... 20 00:01:45,220 --> 00:01:48,220 ..handkerchief I've ever seen. Me other one's in the wash. 21 00:01:49,860 --> 00:01:51,220 The wash? 22 00:01:51,220 --> 00:01:57,060 I mean it's mysterious, 'cos I 'aven't got a lighter. So, what's a flint doin' in me welly? 23 00:01:57,500 --> 00:02:01,060 You better look in the other welly. You might find the lighter. 24 00:02:05,020 --> 00:02:07,060 That's better. 25 00:02:09,540 --> 00:02:13,940 Did you notice how dark it went, when he put that sock back in? 26 00:02:15,020 --> 00:02:20,340 Quite a rare astronomical event, total eclipse of the sock. 27 00:02:25,220 --> 00:02:32,220 You think it's goin' t'be another ordinary day, and then suddenly y'find a flint in yer welly! 28 00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:36,140 Good job there wasn't a spark, could've blown your foot off. 29 00:02:38,620 --> 00:02:42,780 If there's no guiding hand behind the Universe... 30 00:02:42,780 --> 00:02:46,820 ..how come bananas are just the right shape for your mouth? 31 00:02:49,460 --> 00:02:52,020 Couldn't get bananas in wartime. 32 00:02:52,020 --> 00:02:54,340 Couldn't get Lily Matthews either. 33 00:02:55,580 --> 00:02:57,980 I know. I tried. 34 00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:05,660 She was RAF mad, yer 'adn't got a chance if yer wore khaki. 35 00:03:05,660 --> 00:03:08,780 Not even scruffy khaki? No. 36 00:03:08,780 --> 00:03:14,420 And I were really good at scruffy khaki. Mind you, it were scruffy when yer got it. 37 00:03:14,420 --> 00:03:17,940 You were supposed to press it. 38 00:03:17,940 --> 00:03:23,940 Oh that's great! Yer gotta go out an' die for 'em an' yer gotta press yer suit for the privilege. 39 00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:29,060 Dying a lot round Aldershot, were they? 40 00:03:29,460 --> 00:03:31,060 Only for bananas. 41 00:03:31,460 --> 00:03:36,020 That's not the point - I didn't know I wasn't goin' t'die, did I? 42 00:03:36,020 --> 00:03:41,780 They gave me a rifle and a bayonet. I thought, hello, hello! This is not for pickin' yer teeth. 43 00:03:41,780 --> 00:03:48,180 There I was with a gun and a bayonet and in civvie street they 'ad me for keepin' a few ferrets! 44 00:03:49,460 --> 00:03:52,820 Think they were going to send you ferreting after the Germans? 45 00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:57,820 That could've flushed Adolf out of his bunker. 46 00:03:57,820 --> 00:04:02,020 I like it - 'The Secret War Of Compo Simmonite'. 47 00:04:02,020 --> 00:04:03,980 'The Day Of The Ferret'. 48 00:04:04,820 --> 00:04:08,540 Eat yer banana. It's all gone. 49 00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:13,180 That's life. Suddenly it's high summer and yer banana's all gone. 50 00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:20,620 I should've joined the RAF an' 'ad a tour of ops on Lily Matthews. 51 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:29,180 She was ugly. Only from the front. And you know him in wartime. He never went near the front. 52 00:04:30,340 --> 00:04:32,740 I tried for a reserve occupation. 53 00:04:32,899 --> 00:04:37,500 And no one was more reserved about 54 00:04:44,780 --> 00:04:46,299 Who's steerin'? 55 00:04:46,299 --> 00:04:51,100 He's steering. I thought you were. 56 00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:09,100 The last time I was in a hedge bottom I was with a bird from Nottingham. Nature lover. 57 00:05:09,740 --> 00:05:15,280 Couldn't she steer either? We wasn't cyclin', we was courtin'. 58 00:05:16,780 --> 00:05:22,100 And you brought her to this dyke bottom. Spared no expense, did you? 59 00:05:22,940 --> 00:05:27,540 In the pursuit of love, you've been in some interesting places. 60 00:05:28,100 --> 00:05:30,700 Oh I 'ave though, I 'ave. 61 00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:35,940 I should imagine courting and ferreting seem similar to you. 62 00:05:36,740 --> 00:05:38,020 They do. 63 00:05:38,540 --> 00:05:40,940 Just the quarry that's different. 64 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:43,380 Bin in some quarries an'all. 65 00:05:43,980 --> 00:05:46,580 You know how he tells them apart? 66 00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:48,680 The rabbits are prettier! 67 00:05:50,580 --> 00:05:52,180 Mildred were pretty. 68 00:05:52,540 --> 00:05:54,820 That's a nice name for a rabbit. 69 00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:58,680 She weren't a rabbit! She were a welder. 70 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:00,680 Oh, that one. 71 00:06:02,740 --> 00:06:04,220 Oh, she were pretty. 72 00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:06,100 Pretty loud. 73 00:06:09,340 --> 00:06:13,020 Are we all in one piece then? Oh fine! 74 00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:23,540 I've been thinking, we're going to have to get 3 bikes. 75 00:06:35,537 --> 00:06:37,537 I'll do the talking. 76 00:06:37,537 --> 00:06:39,217 All right. 77 00:06:43,177 --> 00:06:44,537 How do, Percy? 78 00:06:45,337 --> 00:06:48,077 Less of the Percy. It's Dirk... 79 00:06:48,077 --> 00:06:49,377 ..all right? 80 00:06:50,877 --> 00:06:56,497 It's been Dirk for 15 years. Are you with me? I paid heavy bread for it legally. 81 00:06:56,497 --> 00:06:59,477 If yer don't like it, try Mr Westerfield. 82 00:06:59,477 --> 00:07:05,337 Tha 'asn't got a chance Percy. We've known thee since thee were a lad. 83 00:07:05,337 --> 00:07:11,777 What kind of a name is Percy, for a man with his own business, drives a Jag, with irons in the fire? 84 00:07:11,777 --> 00:07:15,077 I'm going to be Finkle Street's 1st millionaire. 85 00:07:15,077 --> 00:07:17,537 Yer like the sound, right? 86 00:07:17,537 --> 00:07:20,297 Ah! Tha gets funnier than ever. 87 00:07:20,477 --> 00:07:24,337 All right, so it's taking time. 88 00:07:24,337 --> 00:07:29,977 I'm 50. A young 50. I'm not yer flash-in-the-pan overnight whiz kid 89 00:07:30,817 --> 00:07:32,217 That's true. 90 00:07:32,897 --> 00:07:34,737 Yes, we'll give you that, Percy. 91 00:07:35,377 --> 00:07:37,217 Dirk, it's Dirk. 92 00:07:37,337 --> 00:07:40,817 You're not anybody's flash-in-the- pan overnight whiz kid. 93 00:07:40,817 --> 00:07:41,617 Know why? 94 00:07:42,177 --> 00:07:43,537 Incompetence? 95 00:07:44,537 --> 00:07:49,577 I'll tell you why - because I've never had the breaks. Same with Clegg's bike! 96 00:07:50,017 --> 00:07:50,937 Y'know what... 97 00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:56,217 ..the 2nd hand trade really needs? A good war. A really good big war. 98 00:07:56,217 --> 00:07:59,697 Suddenly yer into army surplus and yer laughin'. 99 00:07:59,697 --> 00:08:05,937 I shouldn't be pratting about with washing machines. I should have a row of rocket launchers over there. 100 00:08:05,937 --> 00:08:09,897 A big demand for rocket launchers around here, is there? 101 00:08:10,297 --> 00:08:12,377 Be international, wouldn't I? 102 00:08:12,377 --> 00:08:18,697 Wherever men gathered for military hardware, there'd be this whisper, 'Have you tried Dirk's?' 103 00:08:19,297 --> 00:08:22,817 Then there'd be this other whisper, 104 00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:28,337 What are you complaining about? We've had a perfectly good big war. 105 00:08:28,777 --> 00:08:35,617 Well, I missed it. Ah, tha were a bit late there, Dirkus. They started before I was ready. 106 00:08:36,137 --> 00:08:39,137 I remember having the same impression. 107 00:08:39,777 --> 00:08:44,137 Never mind, I thought, they'll have another, and what happened? Nuthin. 108 00:08:44,137 --> 00:08:48,577 I woke up every mornin' with a keen sense of expectation - nuthin. 109 00:08:48,577 --> 00:08:52,737 Oh, yer can grow old waitin' for bombs to start droppin' round 'ere. 110 00:08:52,737 --> 00:08:54,737 Right lads, what can I do for yer? 111 00:08:54,857 --> 00:08:55,657 Bicycles. 112 00:08:55,657 --> 00:08:58,457 Hey! Watch yer language, Elsie! 113 00:08:58,457 --> 00:09:00,577 Are yer buyin' or sellin'? 114 00:09:00,577 --> 00:09:01,497 Buying. 115 00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:05,297 Well, in that case, you're entitled to my number one friendly smile. 116 00:09:07,297 --> 00:09:09,437 If yer were sellin'... 117 00:09:09,437 --> 00:09:12,497 ..I have to put on this rock hard expression. 118 00:09:12,497 --> 00:09:16,297 Oh! What's this? A take-over bid? 119 00:09:16,497 --> 00:09:21,297 We're looking for a couple of old but serviceable machines...cheap. 120 00:09:21,297 --> 00:09:23,297 Dirt cheap. 121 00:09:24,537 --> 00:09:26,937 Dirt cheap..I don't know when... 122 00:09:26,937 --> 00:09:28,977 ..I'm gonna get my yacht. 123 00:09:28,977 --> 00:09:32,897 I'm gonna be about 60 before I start pullin' birds. 124 00:09:32,897 --> 00:09:35,457 It'll be a race against time. 125 00:09:35,537 --> 00:09:39,257 Have you got a selection of machines we could examine? 126 00:09:39,697 --> 00:09:43,777 Examine? For dirt cheap you expect to EXAMINE? 127 00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:51,457 Well, what price did you 'ave in mind then, man? 45 quid, rock bottom. 128 00:09:51,837 --> 00:09:53,737 45 quid! 129 00:09:55,057 --> 00:09:57,897 Well, what price did yer 'ave in mind, man? 130 00:09:57,897 --> 00:09:59,837 5 quid, man. 131 00:09:59,837 --> 00:10:00,937 Get out! 132 00:10:00,937 --> 00:10:02,177 Each, man. 133 00:10:02,177 --> 00:10:03,257 Out! 134 00:10:04,497 --> 00:10:06,257 'Ang on, 'ang on. 135 00:10:07,137 --> 00:10:09,137 I'll tell you what I'll do. 136 00:10:09,637 --> 00:10:14,857 I've got a shed full of bicycle parts. I'll let you knock your own machines together. 137 00:10:14,857 --> 00:10:17,457 An' we'll arrange the money. 138 00:10:29,177 --> 00:10:34,457 He hasn't got the 1st idea and he won't let me help him with it. 139 00:10:34,457 --> 00:10:36,897 That's not a bad 1st idea. 140 00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:41,337 I wash my hands of it. Oh, is that my wheel? 141 00:10:41,337 --> 00:10:46,497 Well, I hope so, 'cos if it's a musical instrument it's going to very awkward to play. 142 00:10:47,377 --> 00:10:50,837 Well, I suppose we shouldn't be unkind to Little Electric Socks. 143 00:10:50,837 --> 00:10:54,097 But I must say, I do rather enjoy it. 144 00:10:54,097 --> 00:10:57,657 Well, you have to smile, don't you? We're not really being unkind. 145 00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:00,857 He knows I'll help when he comes unstuck. 146 00:11:07,697 --> 00:11:12,137 Tha should see 'im with a spanner! 'E's got no idea! 147 00:11:12,137 --> 00:11:14,397 Hey, is that my frame? 148 00:11:14,397 --> 00:11:19,817 Well, I hope so, 'cos if it's a musical instrument it's going to be very awkward to blow. 149 00:11:21,537 --> 00:11:26,657 'E's worse with a spanner than 'e is wi' a woman. But all tall blokes are the same, aren't they? 150 00:11:26,857 --> 00:11:30,257 Don't look at me, I'm a short bloke. 151 00:11:31,737 --> 00:11:36,217 'E keeps lookin' at me machine all envious, I pretend I'm not lookin'. 152 00:11:36,297 --> 00:11:39,937 Ah, yer can't be unkind to Big Elsie really, can yer? 153 00:11:39,937 --> 00:11:44,857 I mean 'e knows full well I'll 'elp 'im if 'e comes unstuck. 154 00:11:45,297 --> 00:11:47,497 Think I'll give 'im a Tally Ho. 155 00:11:57,337 --> 00:12:02,017 It looks a picture. Let's 'ope we get a better class of customer. 156 00:12:02,017 --> 00:12:04,337 Or even a better class of staff. 157 00:12:05,197 --> 00:12:08,297 'Ow many more trips upstairs? 158 00:12:08,297 --> 00:12:11,257 Wait till yer 'ave t'run with the food. 159 00:12:12,657 --> 00:12:14,897 Think they'll ever like work? 160 00:12:14,897 --> 00:12:22,817 I wouldn't expect so, it's too late. They're past it. 161 00:12:23,617 --> 00:12:26,857 They were past it before they even started it. 162 00:12:26,857 --> 00:12:31,457 Yes...well, you'll not change the 'abits of a lifetime. 163 00:12:31,457 --> 00:12:34,217 Suppose not, depressin' though. 164 00:12:34,217 --> 00:12:41,417 Oh yes, very depressin'. I blame a lot of it on television meself. 165 00:12:41,417 --> 00:12:42,397 Why? 166 00:12:42,397 --> 00:12:46,497 Well...yer see all these funny ways of livin'. 167 00:12:46,497 --> 00:12:49,857 People enjoyin' themselves. 168 00:12:49,857 --> 00:12:55,057 It makes it 'ard for them to adjust to the fact that REAL life... 169 00:12:55,057 --> 00:12:59,337 ..if you're honest and decent, is bound to be pretty borin'. 170 00:13:00,257 --> 00:13:02,617 Do you find yer 'usband borin'? 171 00:13:03,697 --> 00:13:09,057 Oh yes! I wouldn't 'ave 'im any other way. 172 00:13:10,897 --> 00:13:12,497 So predictable. 173 00:13:12,497 --> 00:13:15,017 Yes, they are, aren't they. 174 00:13:15,017 --> 00:13:20,377 Predictable and borin'. We've a lot to be thankful for. 175 00:13:21,697 --> 00:13:24,217 Well, a bit, anyway. 176 00:13:24,817 --> 00:13:33,257 Mind you keep them overalls clean. People come 'ere for food, they're entitled to nothing but cleanliness. 177 00:13:34,777 --> 00:13:36,817 Hey up! Oh my God! 178 00:13:36,817 --> 00:13:43,457 Keep your 'ands off my walls! Stand there! Just stand there and don't move. 179 00:13:43,457 --> 00:13:46,377 Don't move! What about some grub? We're starvin'. 180 00:13:46,497 --> 00:13:52,017 One step at a time. Just stay there a minute and let's establish some ground rules. 181 00:13:52,017 --> 00:13:55,457 What happened to that homely air of neglect? 182 00:13:56,257 --> 00:13:59,497 It's very smart, congratulations. 183 00:13:59,497 --> 00:14:04,097 We're aimin' for a better class of customer, we're obviously failin'. 184 00:14:05,417 --> 00:14:09,497 It's like a hospital Hey! There's Dr Kildare with 'is faithful... 185 00:14:09,617 --> 00:14:12,257 ..nurse, Sister Wally. Knife. 186 00:14:13,977 --> 00:14:16,357 Just look at the state you're in. 187 00:14:16,357 --> 00:14:18,977 We've been building bicycles. 188 00:14:19,097 --> 00:14:20,177 Bicycles? 189 00:14:20,177 --> 00:14:21,417 At Percy Dirk's. 190 00:14:21,577 --> 00:14:26,497 Ooh! That's somethin' like a man's job! Buildin' bicycles. 191 00:14:26,497 --> 00:14:31,177 Hey up! Who's that posed so seductively up them steps? 192 00:14:31,457 --> 00:14:34,177 Ugh! Wrinkled stockin's! 193 00:14:34,577 --> 00:14:36,157 Keep 'im away! 194 00:14:36,157 --> 00:14:38,817 Don't worry, I'll keep 'm away. 195 00:14:38,817 --> 00:14:40,977 Yer can't refuse to serve 'em. 196 00:14:40,977 --> 00:14:47,417 Nobody's refusin' to serve 'em. They're just goin' to get it... continental style. 197 00:14:47,417 --> 00:14:50,177 Continental style? Continental style? Continental style? 198 00:14:50,617 --> 00:14:52,897 I never 'ad it like that before! 199 00:14:57,297 --> 00:15:00,697 I feel a prawn stuck out 'ere. 200 00:15:00,697 --> 00:15:05,577 I agree. It's a bit like making love in a railway station. 201 00:15:07,217 --> 00:15:11,097 I think it's quite pleasant eating outside. Why should you feel... 202 00:15:11,097 --> 00:15:12,577 ..a prawn? 203 00:15:12,577 --> 00:15:14,457 Them, for a start. 204 00:15:17,577 --> 00:15:20,157 What time does the show start? 205 00:15:20,157 --> 00:15:23,557 What are you talking about? Get off home! 206 00:15:27,817 --> 00:15:29,377 Is 'e the comic? 207 00:15:29,377 --> 00:15:31,977 Go away! Go on! 208 00:15:32,457 --> 00:15:34,257 Be off, all of you. Go home! 209 00:15:35,537 --> 00:15:42,937 Beggars! Doesn't it give you a warm feeling knowing that 70% of your rates go on education. 210 00:15:58,017 --> 00:15:59,457 It's for yer fingers! 211 00:16:07,457 --> 00:16:09,577 Hey, garsong! 212 00:16:09,577 --> 00:16:11,817 I wish you'd give over. 213 00:16:11,817 --> 00:16:17,977 It's all right for you lot out 'ere. You were out makin' bicycles. 214 00:16:19,217 --> 00:16:22,117 I'm stuck waitin' on tables. 215 00:16:22,117 --> 00:16:24,417 Do we have to eat out here? 216 00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:31,117 There must be some scruffy little corner Ivy could fit us into. Even if it's only the kitchen. 217 00:16:31,217 --> 00:16:36,137 You're safer out 'ere today. It's a man's world out 'ere. 218 00:16:36,137 --> 00:16:41,377 I never realised 'ow much I missed the irresponsiblity and bad language. 219 00:16:41,377 --> 00:16:43,977 We're perfectly all right out here. 220 00:16:43,977 --> 00:16:46,977 Nora's got eyes in the back of 'er pinny. 221 00:16:46,977 --> 00:16:51,537 Ivy's in a panic on account of this private party she's 'avin'. 222 00:16:52,577 --> 00:16:55,737 It's really quite civilised out here. 223 00:16:55,737 --> 00:16:59,937 And that's the way it's going to stay. Kindly stop reaching across people. 224 00:16:59,937 --> 00:17:02,537 Watch yer manners now yer on show. 225 00:17:02,537 --> 00:17:08,377 Listen Wonderwoman, I'm starvin'. This bike buildin' gives yer an appetite. 226 00:17:08,617 --> 00:17:11,577 Not to mention the skin off his knuckles. 227 00:17:11,577 --> 00:17:14,137 Call that thing of yours a bike? 228 00:17:16,977 --> 00:17:19,657 No more weird than the thing you're buildin'. 229 00:17:19,657 --> 00:17:23,657 Now stand back! I'm givin' yer due warnin'. 230 00:17:23,657 --> 00:17:26,777 Nothin's comin' between me and this pie. 231 00:17:27,577 --> 00:17:29,377 Oh God! 232 00:19:16,417 --> 00:19:20,977 Here it comes, then. Are you ready for this? 233 00:19:21,377 --> 00:19:22,377 CRASH 234 00:19:22,377 --> 00:19:26,377 Oh no, hang on, hang on! There's a piece just fallen off! 235 00:19:29,137 --> 00:19:34,897 If wheeling it is going to shake it to pieces, why don't you just carry it very gently? 236 00:19:37,737 --> 00:19:40,897 ANGRY SHOUTS Just listen to that language! 237 00:19:40,897 --> 00:19:42,497 Me screwdriver's slipped! 238 00:19:42,677 --> 00:19:49,297 It's marvellous! He hasn't been cycling 2 minutes and already he's picked up the vocabulary! 239 00:19:50,137 --> 00:19:54,977 It's done. I'm comin'. Is tha ready? 240 00:19:54,977 --> 00:19:56,497 Get on with it. 241 00:20:04,297 --> 00:20:05,497 Well... 242 00:20:07,077 --> 00:20:08,697 It's different. 243 00:20:10,837 --> 00:20:13,777 She's a little cracker, is this. 244 00:20:14,737 --> 00:20:19,897 Don't stand there gigglin'. Go and get yours, then we can all 'ave a good giggle. 245 00:20:19,897 --> 00:20:22,437 I'll match yours anytime. 246 00:20:22,437 --> 00:20:26,177 Yer should see it! Well, go on. 247 00:20:26,177 --> 00:20:28,057 Hey, Norm. 248 00:20:29,977 --> 00:20:35,537 What does tha think of this nimble little machine? Not bad, eh? 249 00:20:35,537 --> 00:20:39,337 Isn't it a bit...low at the front? 250 00:20:39,337 --> 00:20:40,497 LOW? 251 00:20:40,497 --> 00:20:45,897 Don't get upset. I didn't mean low. I meant low and high. 252 00:20:45,897 --> 00:20:49,697 'Course it's low! She's a little racer. 253 00:20:49,697 --> 00:20:52,537 Better than 'is great clumsy lump. 254 00:20:52,537 --> 00:20:55,057 Built to last is this machine. 255 00:20:55,257 --> 00:20:58,337 That's what they said about the Titanic. 256 00:21:05,657 --> 00:21:11,097 It IS the Titanic! He's put pedals on the Titanic. 257 00:21:11,097 --> 00:21:16,337 A larger machine for a taller figure. It seems perfectly logical to me. 258 00:21:16,337 --> 00:21:20,297 Goin' t'get a nasty 'eadache goin' under low bridges. 259 00:21:20,297 --> 00:21:25,137 Don't exaggerate. The thing's merely a comfortable height for my length of leg. 260 00:21:25,297 --> 00:21:28,657 I feel the same way exactly about Nora Batty. 261 00:21:30,257 --> 00:21:32,177 Where are we going riding? 262 00:21:32,977 --> 00:21:34,457 Does it matter? 263 00:21:34,457 --> 00:21:37,657 It does if you're determined to make a spectacle of yourself. 264 00:21:37,737 --> 00:21:40,257 A spectacle of myself? 265 00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:41,337 I assure you... 266 00:21:41,437 --> 00:21:42,577 ..this machine and I... 267 00:21:42,577 --> 00:21:45,857 ..have no intention of making a spectacle of ourselves. 268 00:21:51,497 --> 00:21:55,337 Hang on. We'll have to wait for Faithful Dobbin again. 269 00:21:56,377 --> 00:21:58,857 Again? What's 'e doin'? 270 00:21:58,857 --> 00:22:02,257 About 2 mph, you've seen what he's doing. 271 00:22:36,337 --> 00:22:39,057 Dear oh dear! 272 00:22:50,097 --> 00:22:53,257 Straighten up man! 273 00:22:53,257 --> 00:22:57,457 I can't! Me back's locked! 274 00:22:57,457 --> 00:22:59,097 Locked? 275 00:22:59,497 --> 00:23:05,457 Well not to worry, because if it's any consolation, through that hole there, I can see your combination! 276 00:23:07,997 --> 00:23:10,497 Keep yer 'ands off my paintwork. 277 00:23:10,497 --> 00:23:14,097 I'll topple over if I 'aven't got anythin' to 'old onto. 278 00:23:14,857 --> 00:23:17,817 Well hold onto this thought for today. 279 00:23:17,817 --> 00:23:23,297 If you put a mark on this paintwork, I'll feed you through me waste disposal. 280 00:23:23,297 --> 00:23:24,537 Bones an' all! 281 00:23:26,737 --> 00:23:28,817 Right, get him down. 282 00:23:28,817 --> 00:23:31,057 ARRGH! OOH! 283 00:23:31,057 --> 00:23:34,297 ARRGH! That's right, be brave! 284 00:23:34,297 --> 00:23:36,537 Oh, I am goin' t'get better? 285 00:23:36,697 --> 00:23:39,457 I am goin' t'get better, eh? 286 00:23:39,457 --> 00:23:41,257 Why's it all gone quiet? 287 00:23:41,257 --> 00:23:44,817 We're thinking. You don't want a casual snap answer. 288 00:23:44,937 --> 00:23:47,857 Yes, I do. I want a casual snap answer. 289 00:23:48,057 --> 00:23:51,897 It's just a little crick in the back. Worse things happen in bed. 290 00:23:52,297 --> 00:23:54,737 Not in MY bed, they don't. 291 00:23:55,697 --> 00:23:57,737 I can vouch for that. 292 00:24:00,457 --> 00:24:02,857 What's up? Tryin' t'get 'im into a parcel? 293 00:24:02,857 --> 00:24:05,937 It's a little bicycle fatigue. Try this. 294 00:24:07,297 --> 00:24:08,897 Get yerself down here. 295 00:24:15,657 --> 00:24:17,897 Hang on, I know 'ow to solve it. 296 00:24:21,937 --> 00:24:25,097 Oh I like that, I like that! 297 00:24:25,417 --> 00:24:28,817 I've never seen such an exhibition 298 00:24:28,817 --> 00:24:34,017 This situation is going to need some very delicate handling. In fact hardly any handling at all. 299 00:24:34,417 --> 00:24:36,697 Yes, well I'll leave yer to it. 300 00:24:36,697 --> 00:24:43,297 There are darker corners of this Universe into which a woman of my sensibility is not disposed to pry. 301 00:24:44,497 --> 00:24:48,817 Oh, while yer straightenin' 'im up, KEEP 'IS 'ANDS OFF MY WOODWORK! 302 00:24:50,057 --> 00:24:51,297 Oooh! 303 00:24:52,617 --> 00:24:57,017 How ARE we going to straighten him up? I think I know how. 304 00:24:59,697 --> 00:25:02,017 Sorry to have to inform you, Ivy... 305 00:25:02,017 --> 00:25:08,017 ..but a certain crippled person has accidentally put his mucky fingers all over your paintwork. 306 00:25:08,017 --> 00:25:09,097 THAT'S A LIE! 307 00:25:09,097 --> 00:25:12,057 ON MY PAINTWORK! Oh don't leave me! 308 00:25:13,497 --> 00:25:16,577 ^ I told you! OOOOOH! 309 00:25:23,777 --> 00:25:27,217 By heck, Sid! Tha needs a medal. 310 00:25:28,977 --> 00:25:30,897 Feeling better? 311 00:25:30,897 --> 00:25:34,977 That was a rotten trick. But was it worth it to get yer health back? 312 00:25:34,977 --> 00:25:36,857 It come back all of a rush. 313 00:25:36,857 --> 00:25:41,857 Well, now you're fit again. Ready to make yourself obnoxious to all the ladies. 314 00:25:43,217 --> 00:25:45,417 I do my best. 315 00:25:45,417 --> 00:25:47,957 There's nobody does it better. 316 00:25:51,097 --> 00:25:56,297 It's all right for you lot, she just throws you out. Me she keeps! 317 00:26:01,057 --> 00:26:03,577 Is tha sure this thing's better? 318 00:26:03,577 --> 00:26:07,897 Of course it's better. This way we all keep at the same speed. 319 00:26:07,897 --> 00:26:12,777 Look at Cleggy. 'E looks worried about it. Only because I'm worried about it. 320 00:26:12,777 --> 00:26:18,857 There's absolutely nothing to worry about. It's going to be a very stable machine. 321 00:26:25,357 --> 00:26:28,417 There! A stroke of genius. 322 00:26:28,417 --> 00:26:32,057 I mean look at it. Stands up by itself. 323 00:26:32,057 --> 00:26:36,977 How safe can yer get? 6 wheels, more than a Rolls Royce. 324 00:26:37,577 --> 00:26:42,417 I was 'appier when me only worry was a flint in me welly. 325 00:26:42,417 --> 00:26:44,977 Why are you being so negative? 326 00:26:44,977 --> 00:26:47,417 Tell him, tell him. All I ask... 327 00:26:47,557 --> 00:26:50,177 ..is a fair trial. 328 00:26:50,257 --> 00:26:53,177 It looks guilty to me. 329 00:26:54,057 --> 00:26:55,097 You'll see. 330 00:26:55,977 --> 00:27:02,417 You mark my words. The world is going to be amazed that nobody's ever thought of this idea before. 331 00:27:03,857 --> 00:27:11,617 The name Dewhurst is going to be up there alongside Stevenson, Edison, Marconi... 332 00:27:13,137 --> 00:27:14,937 Who's that lot? 333 00:27:15,617 --> 00:27:18,857 Just to give you an idea... they're all dead. 334 00:27:23,577 --> 00:27:26,777 It keeps goin' in all directions. 335 00:27:26,777 --> 00:27:29,977 That's because we haven't started to ride it yet. 336 00:27:29,977 --> 00:27:35,377 Once we're in the saddles, we'll be able to steer it accurately. At what? 337 00:27:35,377 --> 00:27:41,537 At nothing. We're just going to coast down this gentle slope to get the feel of it. 338 00:27:44,457 --> 00:27:46,777 'As it got any brakes? 339 00:27:46,777 --> 00:27:53,117 Brakes? Not only has it got brakes. It's got 3 independent braking systems. 340 00:27:53,117 --> 00:27:55,417 That's more than a Rolls Royce. 341 00:28:00,137 --> 00:28:01,737 Here we go then. 342 00:28:06,337 --> 00:28:07,917 Why aren't we moving? 343 00:28:07,917 --> 00:28:10,417 'E's got 'is brakes on. 344 00:28:10,417 --> 00:28:12,777 Why have you got your brakes on? 345 00:28:12,777 --> 00:28:15,057 Because he's got his brakes on. 346 00:28:15,337 --> 00:28:17,317 Come on, let's go. 347 00:28:17,317 --> 00:28:18,537 Right. 348 00:28:31,137 --> 00:28:33,417 Isn't this pleasant? 349 00:28:34,177 --> 00:28:38,377 Now we'll test the brakes. Wait for it! Wait for my signal. 350 00:28:38,377 --> 00:28:41,537 Can't just go braking when we feel like it. 351 00:28:41,537 --> 00:28:44,137 We must all do it together. 352 00:28:44,257 --> 00:28:46,057 Watch for my signal. 353 00:28:48,137 --> 00:28:52,137 Braking detail... ready...steady...GO! 354 00:29:06,417 --> 00:29:10,057 Tha 4-eyed, useless TWIT! 355 00:29:10,057 --> 00:29:12,737 And THAT'S more than a Rolls Royce. 356 00:30:04,077 --> 00:30:08,497 Subtitles by Sue Northwood 29270

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