All language subtitles for Harley Quinn - S02 E03 - Trapped (1080p - DCU Web-DL)

Three, two, one...

- [explosion]
- [King Shark] Yay!

Ah, that was successful.

Come on, We can't get
into Mr. Freeze's territory

so why not we just let
him keep it, all right?

Because he froze my living body

then put me on display
for my enemies to mock!

[shivering] And now
you're freezing us!

The cycle of violence is real.

I will not rest until we bury

each and every one of these
Injustice League motherfuckers

who stole Gotham from me!

So get meltin'.

What? They're dumping
toxic waste into the harbor?

I've gotta stop these assholes.

- That happened like two weeks ago.
- [Poison Ivy] It did?

- Yeah.
- How did I miss that?

Well, it certainly wasn't because you
were attending my one man performance

of Joan Didion's The
Year of Magical Thinking.

[King Shark] Ooh.

I went! He's no
Vanessa Redgrave.

- I had my own take!
- [Harley] Fire in the hole!

- [explosion]
- [King Shark] Whoo!

What the hell kinda ice is this?

[guard 1] The kind you're never
gonna see the other side of!

[guard 2] Yeah, nothing
burns hot enough...

Oh, except Firefly's flame...

- [guard 1] Fred!
- [guard 2] Oh.

[guard 1] You almost told them
about Firefly's flamethrower!

[Fred] Oh, well, great, Kevin,
now you did. You dummy.

Sweet, I'll just kick that
guy's ass and take his fire gun.

[Kevin laughing]
Yeah. Cool idea.

Did you get it from
reading Doctor Trap's diary?

[Fred] Sorry, wait.
Who's Doctor Trap?

[Kevin] Oh, my God! Dude!

He's the guy that looted all the
villain's lairs when the city fell.

He's got a whole
collection of powerful crap

at the Gotham Natural
History Museum

including the
aforementioned fire gun.

[Fred] Oh, right.

- [Kevin] Shit!
- [Harley] Thanks for all your help!

Text us if you think
of anything else!

[theme music playing]

All right, listen. We get in, grab
this flamethrower, and get out.

Then there's this trash fire
barbecue place near here

I've been dying to try out!

- Sounds muy delish!
- [Poison Ivy chuckles]

But we got a lot of
leftover chili to get through.

You guys are making
too much chili, okay?

You never wanna go out anymore!

You know, we made a pretty
steep investment in our slow cooker,

so we just have to kinda get
our money's worth, you know?

Babe, you mention it's mild?

I didn't sleep last
night, I was so amped.

[Poison Ivy laughs] I
know. Me too, right?

- Thanks for the ride, babe.
- Anytime, babe.

Turns out in a
post-apocalyptic world,

kites are pretty crucial.

You know, you don't have to say
that every time you drop us off, okay?

I packed you a high-protein
snack for a long lasting energy.

For later. Wink.

Did he just say "wink"?

[chuckles] Yeah. It's like
an inside joke. Whatever.

Hey, so, I've been meaning
to talk to you about something.

And listen, don't take
this the wrong way,

but as your BFF, and only F,

I think you can do
better than Kite Man.

And what's the right
way to take that?

[Harley] You know, now
that you're branching out

from only caring about
things with branches,

you gotta get out
there, just play the field!

You're the new Poison Ivy!

I mean, you don't have to commit
to the first guy who's nice to you.

Uh, your ex-boyfriend
tried to kill you several times.

It was an inside joke?

Maybe you just don't
know what it's like to be

treated well by someone
who truly loves you.

[Harley grunts]

Aw. Now I've got
smashin' blue-balls!

[grunts]

[sighs] Now I can
get on with my day.

[gasps]

Wow. This feels like a lot of
extra security for free Museum Day.

[Dr. Trap] Come, please,
enter the lair of Doctor Trap.

I dare you!

Ooh, I dare.

Sorry. Are you Dr. Trap,

or is that your boss?
Actually, it doesn't even matter.

Just tell him that
we want no trouble,

and we're just here to
grab Firefly's flamethrower,

and then we're
gonna be on our way.

[Dr. Trap] The treasure is all
yours if you can best my traps.

So, I beg you.

Enter!

Why are you so obsessed
with us? Just give us the gun.

Yeah, we actually don't want to
get into a whole thing with you.

Hey, is that Penguin's umbrella?

Ooh, I kinda want that.

It's worth more
now that I killed him.

Well, that seems like overkill.

[Dr. Trap laughs maniacally]

You know, I'd love to find a way to do
this without being burned alive on a spike.

Uh, yeah, we're gonna have
to like, rethink this, Harls.

Hey, Dr. Wheelbarrow,

toss me one of
them fresh biscuits!

I am trying to carbo-load here.

-Don't hassle me! They're for the hyenas!
-[hyenas laughing]

Hey, buddy, buddy, bud,
open you mouth, Lou.

Come on. One day
I'll return the favor.

Really? If you wanted
to do an evil collab,

you should've invited me
to join the Injustice League!

And given me my own
damn slice of this city!

[cackles] You and me
in the same board room?

No wonder those mangey
curs are laughing at you.

[hyenas laughing]

You listen to me, butt face!

I was a huge supervillain

before my reputation was ruined
over some innocent locker room talk!

And now, you're a babysitter.

Are you in a club?

Is there a classic series
of books about you?

No! Because you
don't have friends

and you don't go on heists!

I love The Baby-Sitters Club.

Claudia is my girl!

I was more of a
Mallory fan myself.

I, too, went through
an awkward period.

That is it! [Screaming]

[laughing]

[panting] Oh, no!

My feeble mind. You...

You've infiltrated it.

Psych!

You can't control my mind.

I'm an A-lister. I'm too smart.

And you're just a weak
washed-up goon. [Cackles]

Oh, really? Can a goon give
you a makeover with his mind?

How about something
to help with your oily skin?

Maybe some little rouge?

Not too much! I mean, you're
not an old French whore, are you?

Unless you are, in which
case, here's some toilet water!

[cackling] I love it.

Do you have something
for thinning hair?

[grunts in frustration]

- [horns honking]
- [crash]

[Poison Ivy] Ugh,
I hate this place.

When I go to lunch, I want a
meal not a grouping of sides.

And I want that flamethrower,

not a spike through my
head from Dr. Get A Life.

So I called the best
burglar in all of Gotham

and this is where
they wanted to meet.

Wait. Why'd you say "they?"

- It's Catwoman, isn't it?
- Aren't you excited? Ah!

You're good friends!
Reunited! For a heist!

[grunts] I mean,
three badass ladies

takin' down that
sackless dweeb Dr. Trap,

then stealin' his
priceless artifacts.

Oh, this is gonna be
so crazy, sexy, cool!

Just like when you two teamed
up for that fun Amazon thingie.

[sighs] Fun amazon thingie?

You know she screwed
me over on that.

That was years
ago. People change.

Who even remembers
what happened?

Um, she didn't help me
take down those loggers,

she ditched me
for a blood diamond

leaving me to pay
for the entire hotel bill.

And she got a ton
of spa treatments.

There was like all kinds of scrubs
that I've never even heard of!

Okay, then maybe this'll be
like a much needed exercise

in emotional
boundaries for ya? Huh?

No, no see, you don't get it.

Selina's like, she's
so confident and cool.

And somehow, she just like,
draws you in by being aloof.

You know, you just see her, and
you're like, "Ah, I want to be like that."

And then, you see her
wearing overalls, and you're like,

"Oh, maybe I want overalls."

And then suddenly, you have a closet full
of overalls that don't look good on you.

What the fuck are
you talking about?

Can we just leave
before she gets here?

Oh, hi, hi. [Kisses] Yes.

- Nice jacket.
- What this?

Oh, yeah... [sputters] I was
thinking about donating it actually.

It's just like this style's
gotten so trendy, you know?

Cobb salads, all around.

[groans] See, she always does
this, she orders for everyone.

So controlling.

I got your message
about the museum, Harley.

Oh. Uh, yeah, you know, in light of
some recent retellings of old stories

I should've paid more
attention to, maybe we...

They have an Egyptian ruby

I've been thinking
about wanting.

Ah, rubies, that's
so classy. Yes.

They're like fun and timeless,

but like way less
obvious than a diamond.

So, I'm in.

Wow! Just like that?

Do you really like this jacket or
were you just saying that you did?

What do you think?

- What do you think?
- What's happening?

Actually, the truth is

we're just not
comfortable working tog...

Ah, this is so
awesome! [chuckles]

I mean, I just can't
wait to get started.

I mean, you were so right
about these Cobb salads,

it's amazing. I mean, I
don't eat meat or whatever,

but I can just push them
away. And I mean, look at us,

we're like the Cobb
squad! You know?

Should we all get matching
tattoos? I mean, I'm kidding. Or am I?

I mean, we could do
it, right? I know a guy.

Ive, she just stole
your favorite jacket.

I know, but it looks
so much better on her.

[Harley sighs] Is
she always late?

Yes. It is a power move.

Well, it's not even original.

I've been stood up
by badder-asses.

Here, kitty, kitty!

Are you always this impetuous?

Give me a dictionary,
and I'll tell ya.

A chauffeur? You
must be doing well.

He's my boyfriend.

And she's my girlfriend.

- Cute.
- So, what's the plan?

I was thinking, first, we smash
through the skylight, then...

Don't catsplain breaking
and entering to me.

The plan is, I handle the traps,

you follow me.

I'm not used to working in a
team, so keep your distance.

All right, ladies, have fun
taking down that beta cuck.

- Babe, are you not coming?
- Oh, no.

My biggest fear is traps.

And space.

No kites in space there, so...

I'm gonna hang back, keep watch.

Maybe pick up some iced coffees
for you strong, female anti-heroes.

Ugh, it's her signature move!

[glass shatters]

Psst, Harley.

What are we at a play?
What do you want?

So, uh, earlier...
[whispers] I was lying.

Yeah, I thought it was too
loser-y to be afraid of traps.

No, I am very afraid,
but I'm going in anyway.

There's a diamond
shaped like a leaf in there

that'll make the perfect
engagement ring for Ivy.

She loves stuff with leaves!

Are you sure Ivy wants to
take this next step with you?

Maybe take a lesson
from the slow cooker

and let that shit simmer, huh?

No way! Our love is
cooked to perfection.

So, traps be damned!
I'm getting the diamond.

There is no trap in the
world that could stop me!

But if one does,

tell Ivy it's okay to love again

after an appropriate
mourning period, mmmkay?

Ugh!

Shit! They're gone.

Thanks, dude. Now I have no
idea how to get the flamethrower.

It's probs in the
armory exhibit.

Ooh, I bet they have
some sick arrowheads.

Love to peep those babies
if we have time. Follow me.

You're willing to go
first into this death trap?

If herein lies my lady's
diamond, then totes.

- Works for me.
- [grunting]

Survived my first trap.

That wasn't a trap,
that was a pencil.

[grunts]

So, you have a boyfriend, huh?

Rolling him like we
did those loggers?

- Oh, no. We're dating.
- Dating?

Yeah, you know, we like
eat dinner, we have sex,

complain about
the crew. You know?

- [Dr. Trap] Heads up! [laughs]
- [thuds]

Hmm. You hate people.

Yeah. I mean, now
I hate most people.

I guess a lot has changed
since the last time we hung out.

I guess, you know, I have more than
just my journal to confide in, you know?

[Dr. Trap] Oh, no!

[Poison Ivy] My question is where
did he find the contractors to do all this?

- You know what I'm saying?
- [Dr. Trap] Please.

Evil construction's a booming
business in new New Gotham.

Selina!

[Catwoman] Don't stress me out.

So, what are you gonna
do with this flamethrower?

Melt a climate change
denier's summer home? [laughs]

[sputters] I'm helping Harley

get revenge on Mr. Freeze, so...

- You mean, you're retired?
- What? No!

I've just been busy, you
know, with life, and, and, and...

[sputters] So what do you care?

[Catwoman] I'm just
trying to understand.

You used to have
such a clear brand.

What's the last thing you
did for the environment?

Well, when's the last
time you stole a jewel?

Girl, please.

I'm never not stealing jewels.

[grunting]

Nets!

The sworn enemy of the kite!

Along with a mild summer.

[Dr. Trap] Watch your fingers.

- [Harley grunting]
- [Dr. Trap laughs]

[Kite Man grunts]

[Kite Man] Whoa, is
that Deathstroke's sword?

Let's just go back! I bet
they have the flamethrower

and they're waiting
for us outside.

No! This may come as a shock,

but I could never
do better than Ivy.

- I know.
- You know, she pretends to hate everyone,

but under that,

I've never known
a more supportive,

understanding, caring,

and funny woman
who can control plants.

She deserves the world!

So, the least I can do

is give her the
most beautiful ring

medieval Europe has to offer!

[sighs]

All right, let's get
you that ring, sport.

[Kite Man screams]

Another net! No,
no, no, no! It's worse.

It's a spider web! It's
nature's net! [Whimpers]

- [Dr. Trap laughing]
- [growls]

[Dr. Psycho] Come on.

Of course I could run a crew.

You've seen what
my brain is capable of.

[softly] They don't get me.

What I don't get is why
you need validation from me!

That suggests a weak mind!

You're just a crazy hair,
weak-minded motherfu...

[screams]

The Riddler is missing!

What do you mean,
"The Riddler is missing?"

[laughing] That's the
shit I'm talking about!

I mean, missing, like, he's
not where he's supposed to be!

- [Dr. Psycho] Shit!
- [King Shark] I'm so worried.

[Dr. Psycho] But I'm the
only one with the keys!

[sniffs] Lavender sage.

He must've used
all the body butter

you threw at him to slip out.

Oh, how the Riddler
hath played you.

Harley will be most displeased.

Displeased?

She's gonna fuckin' kill me!

This was the one
thing she told me to do!

That of course, and feed
the koi in the fountain,

but I breaded and
fried those fuckers!

It's amazing how good
you are at running a crew!

- [laughs]
- Oh, fuck!

There's no reason to freak
out over a lost prisoner.

Unless...

you've built a rapport in order
to gain their trust to break them,

but in the process
they've broken you.

I guess what I'm sayin' is,

did anyone fall in
love with the Riddler?

Come on. Show of hands.

Is that a hand I see
in the back there?

Oh, no, that's a massage chair.

Oh, look! He left a riddle.

"Who's running loose in the mall

but not one of y'all?

And who will never run a crew

'cause this prisoner
slipped through?

Now, let the chase ensue.

"If you ever find this
note, you dumb..."

Oh, it just gets
dirty from there.

Oh, he's pay for this!

All right, Sy, you
take the mezzanine,

King Shark, you take the
fountains and bathrooms,

Clayface, take the ground floor!

I'm gonna supervise
over walkie-talkies,

which is the hardest and most
leadership-heavy part of a split up.

Now split!

[Catwoman] This
teamwork is suffocating.

- I don't know how you live this way.
- [trap floor clicks]

Yeah, I mean, I guess
it just sorta happened,

- but you know, I mean, I like it.
- [device whirs]

I mean, you could
try it sometime.

[Dr. Trap] Oh, a deadly
game of Hopscotch. [laughs]

Step where I step.

[Dr. Trap] Hoppity,
hoppity. [laughs]

Oh, it's like she's
dancing on air.

Whoa, those are sick
arrowheads. [Grunts]

[Dr. Trap] Oh, careful now.

- [gasps]
- Oh, no.

Someone had an
extra helping of salad.

[Dr. Trap laughing]

[panting]

[screams]

[sighs in relief]

[Catwoman] This whole museum
field trip doesn't feel like your scene.

Maybe you need to reevaluate.

Oh, I don't think
so. Do you think so?

I mean, how strongly
do you think so?

You know what, never
mind. I'm good with it.

I am. I'm happy about
my decision. Right?

Oh, goodie!

I didn't miss stealing
the flamethrower.

Wait, how did you
get past the traps?

-[bees buzzing] -[screaming]
Get them off of me!

Get them off of
me! [inhales sharply]

Oh, no, I'm good.

Oh, my God! What's
wrong with your face?

Oh, bad reaction to my
new deodorant, babe.

Back to the chemical stuff.

Here's your super soaker.

Pleasure doing business with
you. Now let's get outta here.

Wait, babe, what
are you doing here?

I had to get something for you.

There's a special question
that I have been waiting to repop.

Oh. Um... [whispers]
Can we do this later?

Last time I tried, I
didn't have a ring.

But now, nothing can go wrong.

[exhales] Uh, Poison,

Gertrude Ivy, my love,

my life, uh...

will you do me the honor of...

Where's my ring?

Gotta go. Girl
power. And all that.

Wow, what a cold B.

[Dr. Trap] Well, thank you.
Exit through the gift shop. Not!

Wait, that's your real voice?

[Dr. Trap] Yes. We'll see
what your voice sounds like

when you've survived several
trap-related mishaps. [laughs]

You're all going
to die in my trap!

[laughs maniacally]

Come on, come on, come on!

Somebody give me
a goddamn update!

I'm having quite an
emotional experience here.

You ever vibrate at
just the right setting

to really connect to a
Baby-Sitters Club audiobook?

Anybody?

[sniffing]

He's on foot.

Calm down, he
can't have gotten far.

[Riddler on walkie-talkie]
And he's got a walkie-talkie!

[groaning]

Over! Ten four!
Copy that! [laughing]

Did you copy that, Psycho?

[laughs]

Find him, you morons!

Ah-ha! I've got the
target in my sights.

[Dr. Psycho on
walkie-talkie] You sure?

Uh, it could be a massage chair.

It's not.

[Riddler on walkie-talkie]
Or it could be me.

Just take the shot!

[Riddler on walkie-talkie]
Oh, yeah, shoot me. Shoot me.

[Dr. Psycho] If I go down for
this, I'm taking all of you with me!

[Sy] There you are,
you little rat bastard.

Ah! [Groans]

[Dr. Trap laughing]

I'll get the ring back from
her, it's no biggie. [Chuckles]

The important thing is
that, um... [clears throat]

- From the day I met you...
- [banging]

I knew...

[Dr. Trap] Smash away,
smashy pants! [Laughs]

You know, this is one
of my fave five traps,

made out of the same
stuff as airplane windows.

Listen, Ivy, before we
get smushed to death,

- will you...
- Ugh!

Catwoman could've
easily gotten us out of this.

She got herself out and
that's all she cares about.

Fuck her! She sucks!

I just want you to know
that every part of me...

Yeah, I just honestly don't
think it's such a bad way to be,

only worrying about yourself.

I mean, there's something to be
said for not getting smushed to death.

- [sighs] I'm messing this up.
- We're only here because of her!

No, no, no, we're here
because of your stupid fire gun

that probably won't even work.

It's a plasma flamethrower,

and it can melt any... Oh, duh!

I love the shape of your
sharp elbows, and, uh...

And because I don't even know
what's important to me anymore.

I mean, Catwoman
has it all figured out.

She knows what she
wants and she gets it.

She has 19 cats.

She can never go on vacation.

I mean, imagine, finding
someone to watch them.

Fire in the hole!

[shouting] Ivy,
will you marry...

- [Poison Ivy] Stop!
- Not the right time?

No, it's not the right time.

I don't know if it'll
ever be the right time.

And I don't know if I ever
wanna get married, okay?

Damn it, that would've
been great for a trap.

No, no, no, there's no
need to keep interacting.

You beat my traps.

You're free to go!

And you're free to... Um...

Shut your trap, Trap! [grunts]

[grunts]

- [speaking incoherently]
- [metal clicking]

Well, you've returned without the
customary "heading back" text. Rude.

Did you get the gun?

Yup. This'll burn down
Freeze's wall and...

Why does it look like you guys
had a harder night than me?

'Cause we did!

Oh, fine, you broke me!

Riddler's on the loose.

We can't find him.

We think he ate Psycho.

What? Psycho lost Riddler?

He's a shmuck, I told him.

I don't know why
he's on the crew.

Okay. Let's fan out, check
the cupboards and cubbies,

keep your eyes low,

we'll find him before
Riddler eats him,

and someone order a damn pizza!

One pizza comin' up.

[Riddler] Yoo-hoo! What's
round and moving much slower

than when I was
inside of it? [chuckles]

Why's he gotta be so cute
about everythin'? It's so ew.

[screams] Let me out!

Psycho, your job was to guard
someone who was chained up.

You could've just read a book
and this wouldn't have happened!

May I recommend
The Baby-Sitters Club?

The series that focused
on Stacey's diabetes

was so moving.

Oh, bullshit!

You made me a
glorified mall cop!

I am trying to take down
the Injustice League here!

I don't have time to
recapture my prisoners!

Your boy's an idiot.

- Agreed.
- Oh, if you're so smart, Einstein,

why didn't you just leave?

I'm gonna tell you why.

'Cause you fear my wrath.

Yeah. [Scoffs] Right. [chuckles]

It's a waste land out there.

In here, I get three
squares, plenty of cardio.

I'm in the best
shape of my life,

plus there's free entertainment

watching you idiots

fail to accomplish even
the simplest of tasks.

I'll escape when
I'm good and ready.

[Dr. Psycho] God, what
is this, fucking Candyland?

[hyenas laughing]

Hey! What are you up to?

You know, just getting
back in touch with my roots.

[man screaming]

Very cool. Very cool.

I mean, how am I gonna
have time to focus on my goals

when I'm responsible
to so many people now?

You know? It's like, this is just
not where I saw my life going.

[Harley] Hmm, I hear ya. I mean, I
thought I'd be married to Joker by now.

But do you really think your
life was better before all this,

when you were
more like Catwoman?

Yeah, 'cause no one's stopping
her from doing what she wants.

Like punishing Ace
Chemical's board of directors

for illegal dumping
of toxic waste!

[sighs] You know, when I met Kite
Man, I thought he was a total dweeb

who didn't even deserve to
breathe the same air as you.

- Yeah, me, too.
- Then he started hanging around more

and I still didn't
really like him.

But today, he risked his life to
get you that diamond you wanted.

-I didn't want that diamond.
-Yeah, I know. It's totally not your taste.

- It's too whimsical.
- Far too whimsical.

But I saw a less
lame side of him

and I'm starting to get it.

- He grows on you, right?
- Yeah.

Ive, you're never
gonna be Catwoman

because you have
people that love you.

People who want
the best for you.

People who will help you
with your goals if you let 'em.

[man screaming]

- Can I do one?
- Sure.

[Harley squeals]

- [man] No, please!
- [Harley laughs]

[Poison Ivy] I know
I'm happier now.

- And cooler.
- Hmm, not cooler,

but I guess it's hard to let
go of your past self, huh?

You don't have to.

[man gurgling]

- Hey.
- Hey.

Uh, full disclosure,
I'm a little bit wasted.

Fair enough. Can I come in?

Come on. [Grunting]

Look, I... I know
it's not your fault

that I don't have the
life that I thought I would.

And I took my frustrations
with myself out on you.

And I'm sorry.

I want what you want, babe.

And if you need more
time, that's good with me.

- No presh.
- But... [sighs]

If you wanted to ask me again...

Oh, I get it. You're not ready.

And you know what?
Maybe I'm not ready.

- Now's good.
- You sure?

'Cause I can't do
this a fourth time.

I'm ready.

Ask me.

[theme music playing]