Original subtitles

This is India..

the land that glistens, shines..

..the land bedecked with the glitter of dreams..

..beckoning you..

if you nurse a hunger, she says, here..

you'll find what satisfies it. Come..

rub your shoulders. till they're blue..

with fame, wealth, power, glory..

..and your life becomes..

..a sunlit dream you never want to wake out of

Yes, this is India.. a dream..

..that Bunty and Babli dreamt every night of their lives

And this is the India they live in..

..an India that says..

your dreams should end where your arms do..

and you should feel only as much hunger as you can satisfy..

step forward..

but only when. you're in step with the others..

float to the top but not at the cost of anyone else

love, compassion, honesty, respect..

..are what matter most..

this too is India..

the India Bunty and Babli grew up in

but didn't feel like they belonged to

This world we live in has two kinds of people

One, the kind that does just one thing all their lives and..

the kind that does..

..just about everything in one life

I didn't say that, they did and they didn't just say it, they lived it

And how! No one ever lived life..

..like they lived theirs and perhaps..

..no one ever will

So much excitement.. so much adventure, so many joys..

..all in one single lifetime..

no one could have imagined it possible, not even them.

Or then again maybe they could have

Small town cocoons These dull afternoons..

I want to pack them up and go away.. away..

The rains come slow The river lies low..

The sea will carry me away

Small town cocoons These dull afternoons..

I want to pack them up and go away.. away..

The rains come slow The river lies low..

The sea will carry me away

Going away, I'm going away Oh Ram Chand re..

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak Watch the smoke billow

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak Hear the whistle blow

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak Watch the smoke billow

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak Call me, oh, watch me go..

Stand aside, make way for me Those clouds are mine to hold

Burnt in black on a white sheet sky I'll write my name, big and bold

On the street that curves around the moon..

At the bend is where I'll stay

On the street that curves around the moon I'll stay far, far away

Going away, I'm going away Oh Ram Chand re..

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak Watch the smoke billow

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak Hear the whistle blow

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak Watch the smoke billow

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak Call me, oh, watch me go..

Small town cocoons These dull afternoons

I want to pack them up and go away.. away..

Small town cocoons These dull afternoons..

I want to pack them up and go away.. away..

The rains come slow The river lies low..

The sea will carry me away

Going away, I'm going away Oh Ram Chand re..

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak Watch the smoke billow

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak Hear the whistle blow

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak Watch the smoke billow

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak Call me, oh, watch me go..

When I ride l carry in my hair..

The cool whispers of the wind

Ride across the earth, the sky Leave the world behind, unhinged

My forehead adorned, my jewel,

the moon I can't walk unnoticed amidst the stars

moon I can't live unnoticed up here with stars

Going away, I'm going away Oh Ram Chand re..

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak Watch the smoke billow

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak Hear the whistle blow

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak Call me, oh, watch me go..

Dhadak'dhadak Dhadak'dhadak

Call me, oh, watch me go..

It's not going to come. - It will

It won't. - It will

Boy, go down to the tap and have your bath

Or you'll be standing at the end of a very long line

No dearth of people wanting to get into a line

What do you mean? - What I mean Ma is..

this world has two kinds of people, one, those who line up before taps..

and two, those who make themselves..

..taps so they won't need to stand in any line

I happen to belong to the latter. - You don't belong anywhere

You've already spent forty rupees on this gibberish

How much more will you blow up? - Ma, how many times do I tell you..

I'm not spending anything. This is an investment

For fifty bucks, this shower is up and running.. then l'll fix it..

..to the community tap and everyone's willing to part with fifty paise..

..to bathe in a shower. If five people use it everyday, that's 2.50

In twenty days, fifty bucks are back

That's 2.50 in profits everyday from each shower

Stop. You're making my head spin

The problem with this Fursatganj, talking sense sends heads spinning

Anyway, do you remember my chit fund idea?

A finance company in Lucknow.. - I don't want to know anything!

If you don't stop now you'll surely go to jail some day

There.. l told you it'll come

Of course it will. Why won't it?

How else will he drown his future?

Why.. oh today was your interview for the railway job! You didn't go?

I went! Pandey'ji called to say that..

before I recommend my son for another interview..

..I should at least make sure

that he drags himself there on his own two legs

I've lain my' five years in the service on the line..

..and made him agree for another chance tomorrow

Thank God he agreed

How does that matter? I need to agree too

Rakesh, we're trying to be serious here

I told him I don't want to be a ticket collector

So what do you want to be? The maker of failed schemes, for life?

All of Fursatganj thinks you're a deluded Don Quixote

You want them to coin new euphemisms for you? Everyone..

Fursatganj is packed with asses.

And all asses can do is..

..chew the cud and bear the burden.

I wasn't born to do either

Oh you'll become a Birla-Tata-Ambani? - Why can't l be?

They didn't fall out of the sky. They too were born here on this earth

At least they were born here.

You belong to a different planet altogether!

Dad, don't get me started again. I've made up my mind

I'm not going to waste my entire life trapped in a job

Look here

I've spent thirty five years in this job..

..You think my life's been a total waste?

After a lifetime of service, does the government even bother..

about your opinion? After thirty five years of..

shuttling up and down that same train route, does even one passenger..

from all those thousand trips remember..

..what you look like in your shabby coat?

When you die, will anybody except Ma and I, shed a single tear?

Will the railways take a day off?

Dad your life means nothing.

There's no respect, no fun, no meaning

When I walk wearing this shabby coat, that seems to embarrass you so much..

..people stop in their tracks to pay me their respects

Shopkeepers are up on their feet to attend to Mr. Ticket Collector

Why? Because my poor black cotton coat..

is untainted by ill-gotten gain

it is the mark of my esteem

Rakesh..

the interview is at 9 o'clock tomorrow morning

Get there in time. Or get lost

Find a meaning for your life wherever you want, however you want to

Because we can't live up to your high expectations..

we're sorry

There's something about you baby

You too

You're not half bad either

Go easy on the lipstick..

it shouldn't look too tacky. And one thing you ought to know

A ragged skirt doesn't make you sexy

It's what's in your eyes.. like in mine.

Dear God..

my daughter has gone insane! - If worshipping my beauty..

..is tantamount to being insane, then I plead insanity

If craving for fame is insane then I plead insanity

If the desire to renounce this pigeon-hole Pankinagar..

..for the great wide marvellous world outside is insane..

then I plead complete insanity

And you are driving me nuts. Take off that shirt

I'm sorry, I don't believe beauty needs cheap exposure

One tight slap and all your beliefs will change

You've ruined all his best shirts

Ruined? These shirts will fetch millions. There'll be grand auctions

Supermodel Vimmi's shirts! The ones she wore when she dreamt of success

Ladies and gents, do I hear a hundred thousand.. One.. Two.. Three!

Jassi, where's my shirt?

Right here..

What's she up to now? - She's just fooling around..

Fooling around? Go on, enjoy yourself..

till the time you can

What are you trying to do? - Trying to be coy about my marriage

But doesn't seem to be coming too naturally

Your father isn't joking. You won't find a man like Surinder..

..even if you turn Kanpur and Lucknow inside out. Count your blessings..

..a head clerk has fallen into your lap that..

..too in a place like Pankinagar

Papa'ji, I think.. I'll run away from home

Listen to her!

I kept telling you we shouldn't allow cable tv in her room

All day-and-nights she's whispering to those naked witches on her walls

And now she even wants to run away. - No harm in that, no?

You go ahead, run away

But see, it's 1 1 o'clock. Eat lunch before running

What are you saying? - I don't want a weight on my mind..

..my daughter running away on an empty stomach?

I'm warning you, I'll really run away..

..if you even think of marrying me off..

to that.. that ten out of ten! - Ten out of ten?

That ass always got ten out of..

..ten in every godforsaken subject.. what a nerd

Who wouldn't want to marry such a man? - Then why don't you? Spare me

Now get out of that outfit and help your mother with the cooking

I've called them to lunch tomorrow

I want things to be finalised before the evening tea hits the table

Enough. Don't make me hurt you

Why are you taking them off? - You don't know why?

It's time you realised that you can't live like you want to anymore..

..You'll have to adjust to your new family's ways

You'll eat, drink, walk, sleep the way they want you to

Look, l'm your mother. All I want is to see you happy

Forget all of this

You're leaving this for a new world. - It feels like I'm leaving the world

The more you think about it, the more you'll hurt

Just do as I say. You'll learn to be happy

Mummy, if I request Papa'ji not to marry me offjust yet..

..will he listen?

The facial cream is on the washbasin. Don't forget to apply it

Tea.. piping hot tea..

A little extra milk never killed a cow. - Sir?

I said, two extra teaspoonfuls of milk never killed..

..the calf's mother. Pour

There's more milk than water in it, sir. - More milk, I said..

..Hey give back my glass

Catch it if you can

Your name sir? - I'm what you'd call Raj Kapoor Tiwari

Where's your seat here, show me..

I'm not on your list.. the other one.

I talked to the ticket checker, paid him

Oh, so you've paid him a bribe

No, no.. - Give me your address

Why do you need my address?

Do you see that berth number?

Take a look. - Number seven

Coach FC 1, berth number 7

Always reserved for..

the Fursatganj staff going to Lucknow. I've been..

..using this berth for 3 years

The entire railway division knows that.

How could anyone have given it to you?

Could you tug that chain for me please?

You think you're the first person to come up with this idea?

We spend eight hours a day in offices like this, chewing tobacco, eh?

200 out of every 100 finance companies dream of a scheme like this..

but trip over their own two feet..

..trying to find 500 investors to chip in a thousand rupees each

The answer to my next question is on your face but..

I'll ask you anyway.. Mister, where are your 500 investors?

What if I tell you I have them?

Where?

Here

I've slogged it out for a whole year, sir

I've gotten together 500 investors..

..from my town and the neighbouring ones..

..willing to put up a thousand rupees each in any good finance company

Where are you from?

Fursatganj

Fursatganj! Where l was once

Not one finance company..

..will waste five minutes over a list like this one.

Talk of investments

Small town-guys have a habit of dreaming big. No ban on dreaming..

..Indulge yourself

But next time, come up with a scheme that..

..a thousand others haven't thought up before you. Get it? Now excuse me

Where are you going, lady? - To enter the contest

You can't go in. - If l can't go inside..

..how do I take part in the competition?

Let me in. l've come really far

I said, you can't go in. - I say, I have to enter

Can l help you? - Yes, myself Vimmi Saluja..

I've come to enter the contest. - You're too late

What? - The entries closed two days ago

You mean the contest's begun? - No, not yet

Oh, that's a relief. - I said, entries have closed

But the contest hasn't begun! - I said "the-entries-have-closed"

So open up for two minutes, I'll quickly squeeze in!

You're from some village? Miss Quickly-squeeze-in!

This is no village fair to squeeze-in-slip-out when-you-wish

This is the Miss lndia contest, but what would you know?

Oh c'mon Pammi, forget it

One minute.. would I know what? - The desire and the ability..

..to become Miss lndia are two very different things. So go home..

..and start a beauty parlour. - Why not beauty-parlour yourself?

Excuse me? - Ever watched your figure?

At least ten kilos overweight..

Ever watched your figure? At least ten kilos overweight..

..with miles-thick lipstick. You know all about make-up.

Beauty parlour's for you

What a bitch

You bitch

-=Deathracer=-

Listen..

Yes? - Please come with me to the toilet

It's right at the end of the platform and it's really dark

Come

Weren't you on the Jhansi Mail this morning?

Returning? Here on business?

Yes I came for the Miss India contest

So how was it?

Good.. very good

I got through the first round

Good.. good.. Miss India!

And you? Here on business too? - Oh no.. no..

Work is something I don't really believe in

I came here for a meeting

There's a finance company here, they want to buy my scheme

I had to come personally you see, it's a matter of millions

So, you're becoming a model soon? - I guess so

You'll become famous. - Yes.. I guess so

People will buzz around you like bees around honey

Yes.. I guess they will

Why are you crying?

I didn't mean to insult you

No, don't take me otherwise

I belong to a decent family, I wouldn't dream of it

Calm down, everyone's watching

Poor thing.. she's in grieving

I was only sympathising..

Everything's fine

Mummy.

You'll be the first girl to cry after making it to the Miss India contest

I didn't make it anywhere

Aren't you ashamed of lying?

Actually, I lied too..

..the manager of the finance company didn't quite buy my scheme..

I think he doesn't have the drive

Bloody idiot

Foulmouthing.. me?

Escort her to the loo and then get abused for it?

I escorted you! Who do you think you are?

You mean if you go back now? - Wedding bells..

That's too bad. - Very

Then?

I'll run away.

You already have

So, what'll you do now? - What'll you do?

Whatever I do, I'm not giving up. And l'm not going back home

Then, where will you go?

Kanpur

Why Kanpur? - The company has a head office there

I'll show my scheme to senior officers, I'm sure they'll get it

Why don't you come along to Kanpur? - Who me?

Miss India contests are held all over.

Maybe they'll allow you to enter there

You got to find a way into the contest..

..else what use was running away?

Kanpur!

So long, l guess the next time I see you it'll be on TV

I guess so. Thank you. And good luck for your big meeting

Thanks but that was superfluous.

I only need to make a presentation and voila!

I'll have 100 finance companies running rings around me

See you

Unbelievable. Got to admit.. very few people have brains as sharp

I say, just once in a whole year, let me meet just one such person

But two in a single day, unbelievable!

Would you believe..

just half an hour ago, another man came to me with an identical scheme

Who? - Manager of our Lucknow branch..

Mr Qureishi! Imagine.. a rare gem lay buried in my own backyard

He got a 10,000 bonus on the spot!

..He even had a list of 500 investors.

Unbelievable! What a man! - Where's he staying?

Landmark Hotel. - In Landmark! And why not?

The 10,000 bonus!

Give me as much l'll go to live in a five star too

Next? - Vimmi Saluja

Address? - 2/5 Ballygunj, Pankinagar

One minute..

Doesn't Pankinagar fall within the Lucknow district?

It does? - Yes, Lucknow district

You didn't fill up the form in Lucknow?

What difference, here or there?

I was passing through Kanpur so I thought I'll get it over with

Very good

Please step outside

Sir'ji, just a matter of an address.. - Go away! Rules are rules

Please.. - Get lost

Oversmartness

Look, l can't bend the rules

But if you wish..

I can forget rules for a while

Yes sir! - But nothing comes for free

Sir, I'll do whatever you wish!

Very good! Once you're Miss India..

..you'll have all the wealth, all the fame your heart ever desired

But I? I'm still stuck to the same.. chair and table

Oh sure..

I have nothing right now..

but I promise, when l'm Miss India..

I'll pay you.. everything you'll ever want

You're mistaken. You have everything I'll ever want.. right now

I won't force you. Registration closes in five minutes.

Think it over

You'll find me at the same table

What's your name? - Jajjan

You make tea? - No, I serve tea

This world we live in boy, has two kinds of people

One, those who serve tea. And those to whom tea is served

The faster you become one of the latter..

..the better the life that you'll live

Has somebody hurt you?

Two teas and chips

Two?

Why? Problem? - No. But who's the second cup for?

If l drink two cups, will it start a war?

God, this world we live in! Get a hold on this kid

It's no use. - What?

No use being earnest,

unwitting fools getting shoved in stinking little towns

Then?

Bombay..

..the only city in all of lndia where a man is recognised for his worth..

the only place where you can start..

..from the pavement and end up in palaces..

where ambition isn't pushed around, but cheered, egging you on

How're you so sure? - How..

if Dhirubhai Ambani, Ratan Tata, Birla had been in Lucknow-Kanpur..

..they'd be swatting flies in Ambani General Stores, Tata Flour Mills..

..And Birla Tobacco Stall.

Bombay.. gave them the recognition they deserved

Look where it got them..

So you want to go Bombay?

You can come along too. What'll you do here?

All the top models are in Bombay.

Damn this narrow-minded small-town mob

It's the place for Miss lndia, no? - Yes

A ticket to Bombay, how much would it cost?

Not that I have that kind of cash

I got the cash, don't worry. - What?

We've seen where truth has landed us.

Now let's say what they want to hear

And what's that? - Oi Jajjan, where's Landmark Hotel?

One whiskey.. - Which one sir?

Imported. How much for a Black Label? - Four hundred, sir

For a bottle? - No. 30 ml

Small peg

I'll try an Indian whiskey for a change. And don't forget the peanuts

Some pretty suave people you got walking into this Gazal Bar

One Black Label - Sir

Sir! You here?

Fursatganj! All of Lucknow seems to be pouring into Kanpur today

Slick! What are you doing here? - You'll be seeing more of me here

What do you mean? - My scheme got rocking

Which.. the same one? - No.. it was unworkable

You tipped me off in time. I could've wasted another good year

This is another scheme. - Which is this?

I explained this scheme..

..they offered me a two per cent stake in the channel

What channel? - A news channel

News channel

Nowadays this news channel business is taking off like a rocket

In 3 months, they're giving investors a 300 per cent..

..return on investment

Cigarette? - Really?

How much.. is the investment? - At least 100,000

Won't they take a little less? I mean, I could invest too?

Why don't you have a chat?

Give me an introduction

This is Mr. Qureishi - Q.Q. Qureishi

Q.Q. Qureishi, a very dear friend.

Whatever I am today is because of him

Hello. - Hello

Mr. Qureishi would like to invest in the channel

How many millions?

He's not like other investors.. this is just a friendly gesture..

about ten thousand? - Ten

Ten?

Fifteen? - Fifteen?

But you're aware, it should be at least..

Ok, all right, now how can l refuse you?

One request..

..this remains between us.. let this be our little secret

No, no! - Promise

We must be in Delhi by morning

So you take the cash from him..

..and fetch us a receipt from my room. - Okay.

In the meantime, if he has no objections..

..Mr. Qureishi can give me company - Yes?

Well? - No.. l mean no problem

Ten?

Fursatganj, don't forget the receipt

Would you like to dance with me

Mr Q.Q. Qureishi?

Yes, .

You dance really well. - Thank you

Where's the ladies'? - Thank you

The washroom.. where is it? - Bartender, where's the washroom?

Run

What d'you think of my acting? Better than yours?

Who conned him to your table? - Who made the sucker dance?

I'd love to see Q.Q. Qureishi dancing

Hey, the cash

Some sample

Your share. - You keep it

It's your share. - Not a gift

Just bank it for me till Bombay. I can't manage money

We had fun though, no?

Lots..

Move it. Sit in the bus

Passengers for Dehradun and Ambala, your bus is leaving

Name? - Bunty

And the Mrs?

Babli

Bunty.. Babli.. seats 21 and 22

Get inside

Bunty.. Babli.. what the hell? - Nothing.. move on. 21 and 22

What do you mean nothing? - Sit down, I'll explain

When I was a kid I always blamed Bunty for all the mischief I did

And we've just stolen money. So.. - But.. what the hell is Babli?

Why, what's wrong? I don't have a problem with Bunty

You look like your Bunty! But Babli.. she sounds like a fat slob

Fat or thin, now it's sealed. - You could've asked me

Ask my wife her name in front of a bus conductor?

Who are you calling your wife? - I didn't say that, he thought so

And you let it pass! Now everyone in this bus thinks I'm Bunty's wife

What are you doing? Everyone will think Bunty's wife is a shrew

Stop it! - You stop it

I'm not talking. - Suits me

Babli, big deal

At least we managed enough to get us to Bombay

This stash won't last us a week in Bombay

And?

And.. l think we'll need lots more if we want to make it in Bombay

Where will we get so much money? - The same place we got this from

You mean another?

Are you mad? What are you saying? - I'm not saying a thing. Bunty is

And l'm doing what Bunty's saying? - Who are you to do? Babli will

Babli?

But I am Babli! - Sure

You are when you are

You aren't when you aren't

Say, what are you now?

Bunty. You?

Babli?

Babli Bose, Food Inspector. I'll inspect your kitchen

We hear, the beer is adulterated here.

Tony, a chilled beer for the sahib

One step, two step, he steps it up swings it, pumps it, struts his stuff

Meet Bunty

Minute by minute, she turns it up spins it so you can't get enough

Meet Babli

Spinning like tops, orchestrating rip-offs..

they'll clean your pockets, cock a snook and be off

There ain't a legit soul from who they never stole

When they dig, they dig so deep you can't get out of that hole

Swings it, pumps it, struts his stuff Oye Bunty

Bunty Saluja, Tourism department. Unclean rooms. Got to inspect

Unclean? How many days of inspection? - Three

She turns it on, spins it so you can't get enough. Oye Babli

Bunty And Babli

They maybe two..

but they're too much

Bunty Aur Babli.. Bunty and Babli

They maybe two but they're too much Tough-2-catch, too fast-2-touch

Consider it your's. Take it away..

What model number is this? - Model number can take a hike!

Why isn't your man back yet? - What man?

Man.. means husband. - Husband! What crap. You bloody fool

Love is wild like pigeon wings

Tantrums trip on diamond rings

Don't you blink

You might see their shadows pass

Tea cups clink. Tea cups crash. Forgive, forget, they have a fight..

wipe their mouths and take full flight..

come, come, come on, come on, one step, two step, swing it Bunty

She turns it on, spins it so you can't get enough. Oye Babli

Bunty Aur Babli.. Bunty and Babli

They maybe two but they're too much Tough-2-catch, too fast-2-touch

Bunty Aur Babli.. Bunty and Babli

They maybe two but they're too much Tough-2-catch, too fast-2-touch

Bulandshahr is abuzz with the amusing misadventures..

of this daring duo who call themselves Bunty and Babli

People seem to be in awe of their ingenuity and audacity

Would you like a room or a suite?

No, I don't want just a room

I want the hotel.. we're here to buy this place

I never thought I'd sell this place. But your strong background..

and this mind blowing offer.. I'd have to be a lunatic to refuse

How long are you here?

A week maybe.. - Stay here then.. as our guests

This hotel's as good as yours.

We'll discuss details over the weekend

No, doesn't look good. We can't stay before we've signed the dotted line

I won't take no for an answer

Well if you insist.. champagne?

Searched every inch of Mussoorie sir, l can't find them

What do you mean? And their stuff? - They even stole ours

Damn them

Come away, come away

All our sparkles fly right across the sky

Then we sight the morning light Float up high

Witness the magic of Guru'ji

People running after you like this.. it's a heady feeling

What? - Makes me feels like I'm an achiever

They walk wrapped in perfume mists

Hold the world in love-locked fists

You won't see them flit about till they want you to, and when you do..

he slides with a swagger. - He's Bunty

She glides zig-zagger. - She's Babli

Their tales are lore.. been told a score times and more

And will be sung forever more

Their tales are lore.. been told a score times and more

And will be sung forever more

I can't see any tunnel here.. - We've paid a hundred bucks apiece

Where's that Bunty guide?

Spinning like tops, orchestrating rip-offs..

they'll clean your pockets, cock a snook and be off..

there ain't a legit soul from who they never stole..

and they dig so deep you can't get out that hole

One step, two step

Swings it, pumps it, struts his stuff Oye Bunty

She turns it on, spins it so you can't get enough. Oye Babli

Bunty Aur Babli Bunty and Babli

They maybe two but they're too much Tough-2-catch, too fast-2-touch

Bunty Aur Babli Bunty and Babli

They maybe two but they're too much Tough-2-catch, too fast-2-touch

I'm so hungry I can't think straight

And you will shut up and eat whatever's available. No tantrums

Makes you cry?

What's to cry about? - None of your business

Look, what I meant was you can't get pizzas out here

All right, I'll get whatever you feel like

Tell me what you want

Who? - I want my mummy

But..

Out here?

I miss her

You miss her a lot?

Go on, get it over with

Mummy.

Mummy

Over?

Not over! I'm missing her, not laying an egg! Over!

What do you miss?

When I was little..

Papa'ji would talk about taking us for a holiday..

..far away from Pankinagar

But in all my years of waiting, we never saved up enough for a holiday

You want to send some money home?

Do you want to call them?

Come..

Hello!

No one's saying anything

Then why are you wasting your breath?

- I don't know why.. I think it's Vimmi

Who's this?

Some nut

Papa'ji

It's me.. Papa'ji

Vimmi, my child.. where did you disappear?

I'm okay Papa, I'm fine

Vimmi my child, where are you?

I can't tell Mummy, but l'm fine

Look dear..

No Papa'ji, don't ask me to come back now.. I don't want to come back

But I really love both of you

No, my child, listen to me.. - No Papa'ji. I'm hanging up now

I love you both very much

Bye..

You want to call home too?

No

Folks at home must be worried about you too

No one worries about me

What are you doing here?

Wondering where he's now.. how he's doing

Do you think l was too harsh on him?

You were right in whatever you did

Have your tea, it's time to go to work

Enough? Satisfied?

If you manage money like this in Bombay in no time, you'll be back..

in your punk-whatever-town. - Pankinagar, you bloody idiot

Wherever, but you're finished. - What's left to count?

You've blown it all up.

I have, have I?

Expensive dresses, shoploads of makeup just fell out of the sky?

They came from the same place as your watch, designer shirt, jeans..

and.. this deodorant that smells like turnip pickle gone bad

They fell off the sky, they did

Now what?

I've been thinking..

Let's.. do it one more time? - No..

we've pooled enough to get us to Bombay.

has two kinds of people.

One.. those who collect enough and those..

who'll never have enough.

Myself and Tata-Birla-Ambanis are the other kind

That's why they're where they are today. And once we're in Bombay..

we won't get another chance.

So.. let's take one last crack. Just once more

You think so?

I know so. So I say so

Who says so? You or Bunty? - Bunty's always saying so

Today a little of me is with Bunty.

Oye Rakesh.. my sweet bloody idiot

Bunty Aur Babli Bunty and Babli

They are coming to your town. They hustle then, they hustle now.

Bunty Aur Babli Bunty and Babli

Making money all around. Never do they settle down.

This one. - No problem

There's just one problem

Just tell me. - I'm leaving for Mussoorie tonight

Oh, that is a beautiful place - I know

Tomorrow I have an inauguration. - Your inauguration?

Not mine.. my hotel's

Oh, I see

Look Mrs.. - Miss..

Miss.. earliest we can deliver would be by tomorrow morning

It's closing time, you see? And we can't stay open for one machine

No, no.. not one machine. - Then?

All. - All?

But if the mall isn't open..

No.. l'll open up myself.. l mean..

I'll open it up myself for you

Lovely

Sixty thousand - Sixty thousand

You take cash don't you? - I take anything you say

Let's shop

Easy brother, easy. The stuff inside is real precious

Hi! - Hi!

Sorry for troubling you so much.

You can trouble me as much as you wish

Please visit our hotel sometime. - Sure

Your machines are now yours

Here's the balance amount

Thank you very much - Mention not

May God send customers like you my way every day

I pray we come by shops like yours everyday

Driver! - I have the same..

We seem to share similar tastes. - I wish we find more in common

Mehmood! Let her rip.

You sound like he's after us already

If he isn't, then he soon will

Oye Bunty, you gave him a licking?

300,000 worth of shades

400,000 in watches

Bunty and Babli.

700,000 in electronic items

Deal

Time for a Chinese lunch. Come

I can't count any more

The incredible incident at the renowned..

..Center One Mall in Bareilly..

has confounded the police. Sources say,

..the perpetrators of this heist are..

Bunty and Babli whose capers have already made headlines in many cities

Even as investigations proceed..

..by now Bunty and Babli must be far far away

Tomorrow morning! Bombay. - That soon?

Before you've brushed your teeth. This train gets there like a bullet

Good. We can get to work the minute we get there

You're hunting for the top models?

Like you're catching your Tata-Birlas

Your share

Always splitting cash at the drop of a hat? What's with you?

Let's just get it over with, no? So tomorrow..

you get on with your life, I'll get on with mine

What'll you do without me? I mean, on your own.. in Bombay?

Hog the whole bathroom?

You'll have complete freedom too, no? Nobody will be getting on your nerves

Well you didn't bug me that much. - Really now?

The way you fought, I would have to be the meanest man in the world

I can't believe, by tomorrow morning I'll be in Bombay

All these dreams, all these years.. is everything finally coming true?

Flap your wings, come on let's fly

Flap your wings, let's taste the sky

Flap your wings, come on let's fly

Flap your wings, let's taste the sky

Balle-Balle on a Sundae-Sunday

Balle-Balle

Balle-Balle on a Sundae-Sunday

Balle-Balle

Flap your wings, come on let's fly.

Flap your wings, let's taste the sky

Flap your wings, come on let's fly.

Flap your wings, let's taste the sky

Let's set the streets of Juliet on fire.

Dance with Romeo in the streets of desire

We explode with the light

Burn the dance floor, girl

Nach Baliye Dance the Balle..

Want bangles on your wrist, love? - Nach Baliye

Want jewels in your hair, love? - Nach Baliye

Run anklets around your feet, love? - Nach Baliye

Nach Baliye

Give me bangles on my wrist, love

Nach Baliye

Weave jewels into my hair, love

Nach Baliye

Run anklets around my feet, love

Nach Baliye

Get into the groove on a Sundae-Sunday.

Get into the groove.

Love to watch you baby, turn around

Get into the groove on a Sundae-Sunday.

Get into the groove.

Round. Round. Round. Round.

The red carpet of dreams unfurls for us to walk on..

Fate's now a little toy, to toss, to roll, to rock on

Take your bets now, gamble your life. Fate's at my feet. Ready to ride?

Then come take my hand, love. I'll give you the ride of your life.

Then take my hand, love, give me the ride of my life.

Let's set the streets of Juliet on fire..

Dance with Romeo in the streets of desire.

We explode with the light

Burn the dance floor, girl

Dance, buddy.

Want bangles on your wrist, love? - Dance, buddy.

Want jewels in your hair, love? - Dance, buddy.

Want anklets around your feet, love? - Dance, buddy.

Dance, buddy.

Give me bangles on my wrist, love. - Dance, buddy.

Weave jewels into my hair, love. - Dance, buddy.

I want anklets around my feet, love. - Dance, buddy.

Clap your hands everybody, everybody just clap your hands

Come on. Dance, buddy.

On a Sunday. Come on. Dance, buddy. Dance, buddy. Come on. Groove.

Dance, buddy. Dance, buddy. Come on.

On a Sunday.

Day doesn't sink into night here

These roads stay awake, alight here

Tip-toeing upon my eyelids are dreams that never sleep

Then take my hand, love..

I'll give you the ride of your life

Then take my hand, love.

I'll give you the ride of your life.

Let's set the streets of Juliet on fire.

Dance with Romeo in the streets of desire.

We explode with the light.

Burn the dance floor, lad.

Dance, buddy.

Want bangles on your wrist, love? - Dance, buddy.

Want jewels in your hair, love? - Dance, buddy.

Want anklets around your feet, love? - Dance, buddy.

Dance, buddy.

Give me bangles on my wrist, love. - Dance, buddy.

Weave jewels into my hair, love. - Dance, buddy.

I want anklets around my feet, love. - Dance, buddy.

Bali. Bali.

On a Sundae-Sunday.

Flap your wings, come on, let's fly.

Flap your wings, let's taste the sky.

Let's set the streets of Juliet on fire.

Dance with Romeo in the streets of desire.

We explode with the light.

Burn the dance floor, lad. - Burn the dance floor, lass.

Dance, buddy.

Want bangles on your wrist, love? - Dance, buddy.

Want jewels in your hair, love? - Dance, buddy.

Want anklets around your feet, love? - Dance, buddy.

Dance, buddy.

Give me bangles on my wrist, love. - Dance, buddy.

Weave jewels into my hair, love. - Dance, buddy.

I want anklets around my feet, love. - Dance, buddy.

Train from Delhi to Bombay is arriving on..

..platform 36 instead of platform 12

Bombay's really crowded, no?

Everyone's here to make their dreams come true, no?

What's this stench? Must be fish, no?

Where do you think fashion shows happen here?

Let's get you into a taxi

And.. you?

I'm going back. - What!

Look, l don't want to stay in Bombay. - What do you mean?

I just.. wanted to be really famous.

a name to be reckoned with..

a name in the headlines

Vimmi, for the first time in my life l think..

..I have a talent no one else has

I realise now, I never was Rakesh.

I've always been Bunty..

I've always enjoyed being him

To tell you the truth, I never had the perseverance it takes..

to become a Tata or Ambani, nor the calibre

Anyway, doesn't matter now. I think I've discovered my destination

And l'm on my way towards it

Look..

this is what I want to do..

all my life, freely

But you please become a model, a supermodel..

so take care

All this.. you did it all alone?

That's not what l meant. - Then?

Without you.. - You can't walk one step, you know?

Wants himself in headlines! Who wants to read about you?

No one's interested in reading or publishing a Bunty-minus-Babli

Truth is.. without me, you could've done nothing and you never will

Your taxi..

Tell me.. can you?

Yes

No

Can you live without me?

Yes

Then why are you screaming taxi-taxi? - Because you need to go

Yes.. - So tell me.. where?

Where you want to go

Who says so? - You or Babli?

What do you think? - Must be you

So will you do something about it?

If that's the case then I must do something about it, no?

What the hell! I didn't mean that

Wasn't me. lt was Bunty. - Everyone's staring

We're in Bombay.

No one looks at anyone here

Think it over

I won't let you rule over the bathroom. - Done

No more sleeping alone on the floor. - Sounds good

What about all the modelling dreams?

That's Vimmi's problem

But you?

I've become Babli

Forever

You know what it's worth? Not five paise. lt's a fake

Who? - What?

What's your name?

Mehmood

You're a comedian?

Let's start by making you laugh?

Okay, two jokes for you

One

Mrs and Mr Flea come out after a matinee show

Mrs Flea says, l'm tired today

Mr Flea says, honey don't worry, I'll hail us a dog

You are that dog.. the one they rode for the hike

Now spill it, did you go to Center One that night or no?

No sir

This here, is my second joke

Where are those two now?

Long time.. gone

Names?

Bunty and Babli

How old are they?

Bunty's around 23-24

Babli is 20-21

She was really sweet, well mannered and intelligent, sir

Even the boy was all heart, great guy

That's quite something, sir

No, you asses are quite something

To think that petty criminals..

booked for cheating, misdemeanour, malfeasance, fraud and perjury..

are quite something

And not just you, the whole lot of you from..

..this generation is quite something

Right and wrong, good esteem and bad, good deeds and bad..

you've forgotten what sets them apart

But I can tell the difference.

And l'm going to teach you fools too

The newspapers say that for boys and girls in schools and colleges..

these two crooks are role models. - So they want to be role models?

Fine..

then that's what they'll become..

I'll make them a fine example of a cure for this generation

What did you say their names were? - Bunty and Babli

This Bunty-Babli better watch out for me

We'll always place each other before ourselves

Okay

We'll never ever break each other's hearts

And if we do so accidentally..

..we won't burst into tears without warning

Okay, we will never eat or drink anything without each other

Except early morning tea

You wake up like a queen at noon I can't wait that long

We'll give each other the same amount of love forever

Why? We can give more! I'll love you even more tomorrow..

more the day after and so much more the day after the day after

We'll cut off all ties with those who don't understand us

Except our parents. - Your parents

We'll be Bunty-Babli for the rest of our lives

And we'll live out all our dreams. - Except..

Except? - Leave that to me

Okay

Oye Rakesh just married!

Look..

right at the outset of this marriage I want to tell you all about my past

I don't want any issues later

In school, when I was in Class Two,

Mukesh used to sit behind me

He used to tug at my plaits

And you know.. it used to make me giggle like crazy

These boys are all scoundrels

They'll try their luck with every cute girl

How true

How lucky I am, you aren't like those boys

Rakesh.. you're such a good boy

Sweet boy

So.. what I was saying was..

..now that you are my wife..

my mate in joy and sorrow..

for all my days to come..

and nights.. understand?

Asleep? On your wedding night!

This world we live in has two kinds of people..

those who aren't married and those who are

So?

So you belong to the latter, no?

So?

So marry me now you fool

Look, above me..

..the sky's soared away.

Look, above me, the sky's soared away.

I see my skies breaking free of the earth at the horizon..

soft, slow, on tip-toe bit by thieving bit..

soft, slow, tip-toeing my love

soft, slow, on tip-toe bit by thieving bit..

soft, slow, tip-toeing my love

soft, slow, on tip-toe bit by thieving bit..

soft, slow, tip-toeing my love

Look, see what I see, the earth afloat..

..earth dissolving in water gushing from who knows where.

Then my sky breaks free of the earth at the horizon

soft, slow, on tip-toe bit by thieving bit..

soft, slow, tip-toeing my love

soft, slow, on tip-toe bit by thieving bit..

soft, slow, tip-toeing my love

No consciousness of what I am I have no sense of what I'll be

This time now seems unreal This can't be happening to me

You slowly dissolve in me I slowly fade into you

Our feet stop and our paths shift.

The sky rolls over on its bed of clouds.

The sky will melt and pelt the earth with rain.

The earth dips its toes in the water.

It just might stumble to its feet and start strolling around.

Soft, slow, on tip-toe bit by thieving bit.

Soft, slow, tip-toeing, love.

Soft, slow, on tip-toe bit by thieving bit.

Soft, slow, tip-toeing, love.

Say the word, and I stop. Say the word, and I move.

If this is obsession that consumes me,

let it set the yardstick for obsession.

Say the word, and I stop. Say the word, and I move.

A stranger to my destinations, I go where you want me to.

Look, above me, the sky's soared away.

I see the sky breaking free of the earth at the horizon.

Look, see what I see, the earth afloat..

..earth dissolving in water gushing from who knows where.

soft, slow, on tip-toe bit by thieving bit..

soft, slow, tip-toeing my love

soft, slow, on tip-toe bit by thieving bit..

soft, slow, tip-toeing my love

soft, slow, on tip-toe bit by thieving bit..

soft, slow, tip-toeing my love

soft, slow, on tip-toe bit by thieving bit..

soft, slow, tip-toeing my love

Babli is Bunty's and Bunty is Babli's Each other's forever they'll be

Babli is Bunty's and Bunty is Babli's.

Each other's forever.. - They'll be

They began their lives.. in small sleepy towns, towns they detested

So they popped up in big cities doing the kind of things I detested

Not for poverty, need or misfortune. Only for fun

Turning to crime for fun? I'd never ever heard that before

News of Bunty-Babli's capers poured in from all quarters..

dripping into my ears like red hot molten iron

Girls and boys in schools and colleges..

..began to idolize them as new age heroes

Constantly breathing down their necks..

..I even started to think like them..

what next, their next sharp turn? My hunches were hitting bull's eye..

and I was inching closer to them with every passing day

They took their infamy for success and quickly jumped from cons to scams

Scams no one had ever heard of or imagined before

Okay, how about Kerala? - Too hot

Manali? - No, it is too cold

Jaipur? - It's too dusty

Ladakh? - It's too lonely, Harry

How many times am I gonna tell you, it's a damn historical monument..

not a hotel which I can rent

That's your problem Harry, you said if we came to India..

I could get married wherever I want. This is what I want

You are impossible

Am I.. I am? - Yes

Really? Fine! - Yes

Do you see what I see? - I'm not blind

Do you hear what I hear? - I'm not deaf

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

I'm no mind reader. Get to the point

Protesters.. thirty. Taxi drivers? - Four

School children? - Twenty. With one teacher

Newspaper? - Agra Times

Minister's office. - Very good!

And a wedding bash. - Oye Rakesh! A first round knockout

I want to marry there Harry, not put it in my living room

I told you it's not possible Kate

Selling Taj.. - Never, never

Government don't be.. - Clever clever

Selling Taj.. - Never, never

Government don't be.. - Clever clever

Selling Taj.. - Never, never

Government don't be.. - Clever clever

My car.. Mercedes.. Mercedes.. - Mercedes stuck in traffic jam

Students protesting Taj sale. - What sale?

The Taj is on sale. Sir this is my Mercedes. Please sit

Please sir.. the government is selling the Taj.

We won't let them sell it

Extremely sorry sir, I apologise

Today's newspaper sir?

Thank you so much, sir

Is the Taj Mahal really up for sale? - Yes sir

By who?

By him, sir

Excuse me

Hold on

No sir, it is not possible. We cannot sell Taj Mahal to a foreigner

Even if the price is high?

No price is too high for Taj Mahal

How about 100 million dollars? - No sir

150 million. - No sir

175 million. - Sir, I told you, it's not possible

200 million.

Well.. 250 million

Why don't you speak with her?

Who?

Phoolsakhi'ji

Who is Phoolsakhi'ji?

Phoolsakhi'ji

Minister in charge of purchase and selling of the Taj Mahal

Where's the typist? She's down with viral fever.

We're getting another typist

Get her quickly. - l'll be in the office all day today

Let's pack in as much corruption as we can today

Of course. - The typist is here madam'ji

Sit

My niece's doctoral thesis. I want it typed out by this evening

Of course, it's me. Go on What..

I'm coming right away

What's the matter ma'am? - Riot outside my house! Hurry

You keep typing I'll be back in an hour

How long have you been in government? - Not very long

And the minister? - Not very long either

Sir..

You brought the other money?

I can't believe! Someone is actually selling the Taj Mahal

Nor can I believe! Someone is actually buying

This ass is going to get kicked

Crowshit on your egghead

He'll be crying for help in two days

How do I look? - Very fine

How are you madam?

Would you believe l've been dying to see you?

Madam, this is Mr. Harry Epstein

He wants to buy the Taj Mahal

Exactly

I'm not selling

But madam, we had a deal.. - Why are you late?

But ma'am.. Shut up

So you can't sell the Taj Mahal to me?

It's all a big mistake

And you have wasted my time

One minute

I said l can't sell the Taj Mahal but it doesn't mean you can't have it

I don't understand

You can lease it on rent

For how long?

Five years

Ten Ten?

Lease document ready for five. interested, not interested?

Interested, interested

Why are you protesting? - Because we have grievances

What grievances? - Meet our demands or else

What demands?

The revolution.. - Long live the revolution

Never mind that, but what are your demands?

Down with tyranny

Whose? - Every tyrant's

Five years

All Harry Epstein's

For a price of 250 million dollars. - Good doing business with you

And here is your fee 5 million Rupees, cash

Tell me your demands. - Quit lndia

Quit India, quit India

Quit India? - State your demands or I'll arrest you

We demand that Ms Kalasakhi.. - But I'm Phoolsakhi!

Tell them! - You've got the address wrong

She is Ms Phoolsakhi. Now get out.

Okay. Sorry. Fine. Relax. Don't mind

Okay then, goodbye. - Thank you madam

See you. - Namaste

Which country are you from? - Oh, all of them

Your guests should be here soon

Goodbye

What happened to this elevator? - Could be stuck somewhere

It's coming. - Let's go

Finished? - Nearly

It sure is nice of Mr. Bunty to throw us this wonderful wedding party

And you! Thank you, it's a dream come true

Not possible

What do you mean not-possible, I own the Taj Mahal

Is he nuts? He says he owns the Taj Mahal!

Poor thing, God can really be cruel sometimes

Open the gate before I fire you.. dismiss you

Dismiss? He says he'll get us dismissed

Doctor? You need one? We call doctor?

No doctor! You talk to Mr. Bunty

He wants some Bunty fellow

What Bunty? Hey wait a minute are they Bunty and Babli?

So finally you arrive!

They sold the Taj and scooted while you stood by and watched it happen?

Tomorrow when you sell it again l'll still be left watching

What! - Look madam..

a bull doesn't budge until he sees red in his face..

..and it takes a scam to prod me into action. l just got the news, no?

That's no way to talk. - Really? And how did they talk?

Go on, file your report about descriptions, characteristics

Stop staring at me and do it

No one could've pulled off this caper without the help of insiders

Who could it be? - Could've been you, madam

You left her alone in the room at a perfect time

Corruption happens at the top floor.

But one has to climb from the ground floor

There's a saying amongst us policemen. Orderlies make more..

..under the table

See son..

you shouldn't have gone to the wedding..

..that too in a new car. Getting it?

Hey trumpet. - Yes sir?

What's the most requested song nowadays?

Babu'ji, slow it down now

Stand up here

Play

I heard you took an American to his wedding altar

No sir

I know their names. I want to know where they are

Harry says, he was so smooth, and convincing. Harry's no fool

And you believed? - I did

It was in the Times of lndia. - All newspapers say..

all Americans have sex all the day, I believe?

Don't look at it, you hear me? Don't look at it

Sir how about leaving? What can we possibly get to know here?

Here you learn to what lengths a man can go..

..for the smallest of things

Get the serial numbers of the currency that..

..he withdrew from his bank

Tell me joke

Non-veg

Tired of turning wheels? Now watch how the wheels of fortune turn

I didn't see a thing. What can I say? I'm a simple honest man

God! This one turns out to be honest! Wheel back that car..

go on.. back out..

go away, far away

There. Stop

The longer the distance, the more it looks like an accident

Don't move or l'll shoot. - Sir, what are you saying?

I told you! I saw nothing. - No one's ever seen..

what's about to happen right now

Come on, slam the car. - No.. please

Slam him. - Please! No.. I saw, I saw! I saw everything

Turn off the engine

Stand straight

See no evil. Speak no evil. Hear no evil but if you can profit, grab it

Gandhi'ji would've come here personally to whack you..

..for being so honest

Who else was in it with them? Go on, give him every detail

What's wrong? Why are you sulking? You're upset with me?

Moron, the Taj got sold, not your taxi. Like some nuts?

No? - Suit yourself

There was no corner of the country Bunty and Babli hadn't been to

And every newspaper was cheering their ingenuity

But I was dying to see them behind bars

No there's no mistake about this order.

Your assignment is being changed

But I've completely committed myself to the case

Bunty-Babli's case is being assigned to the federal agencies

To whom? - Federal investigation

God

Our politicians have become honest?

The feds have time for Bunty and Babli?

They have your sympathies? - Not those two

My sympathies are with the feds. - You think the feds can't get them?

Why? - Because they can't think like them

And you can?

I'm beginning to feel we're related somehow

From tomorrow, you're taking charge of the gold at the airport

Very well sir

You're the boss

I'll take charge of hell if you want me to

Anyway what's the score? - What?

I found myself a night-watchman's job.

This is how I got to bide my time

Dashrath Singh..

If there's anybody who'll lay a finger on Bunty and Babli, it's me

You find this funny? You can do this yourself the next time

I won't be able to do this even if I tried, love

But you can make a mockery of those who do?

Ok, I'm sorry - What idiot could've made you a father

You

One rum, large

You don't need to pay sir

Did I mention I'm a policeman? - Hear me out, sir

The gentleman out there is hosting food and drinks..

..for all guests tonight

Who? - The man in black

They're buying this restaurant

No way. We're picking up the tab for everyone tonight

Not tonight. Tomorrow

From tomorrow, this hotel is yours to do as you please.

But tonight's on me

Friends, cocktails and dinner for everyone on the house

Vodka - Yes Sir.

Vodka.

Whiskey

Cocktail? - Sir.

Gin - Okay.

Gin.

Rum

Flying to the moon?

You're selling the tickets?

You've just bought yourself a one-way ticket

I don't believe much in buying tickets but yes..

..I do want to fly to the moon

You're a man in a hurry?

Somewhat

There's this one place in which men-in-a-hurry usually end up

You see.. - What?

This world we live in has two kinds of people

I see. - One, the kind that listens

And the kind that talks. I belong to the latter

So sure of yourself? What do you do? - Cleaning

I'm in the cleaning business. We clean out places

What kind of places? - Any kind

So you like tidy places? - No, I like tidy sums of money

Interesting man. Where are you from? - Allahabad

Aha, you look that type

Sir, one more large?

Bring it on then

What's happening here?

You're smoking in front of your baby? - How the hell can he see me?

Babies know everything. - How can they know everything?

Stop it

I get the feeling l'm her baby

And he who is he?

I.. am.. - He is..

Whoever, doesn't matter. Come on

Women.. are like this only. - How and how do you think women are?

Oye, don't stoke my anger. - Hello, what's happening here?

A fight can't you see? - That I can, but why?

Private matters of husband-wife! How meddlesome

Please stub that out

You look like a long lost father!

Ought to be setting an example for him

And you better come along. I'm checking out the rooms in this hotel

Don't take too long

Don't come back in an hour or two.

Spoilt the mood for no rhyme or reason

You seem to be much fallen-in-love

You've never fallen.. in love?

Once, a little

What?

A little

In a summer of Delhi I came upon her

Every single day on bus number 481 ..

I would fall all over myself to vacate the ladies' seat..

and she would sit down with the sweetest smile

For a whole year.. - You never spoke?

When our eyes were saying so much how could words dare to interfere?

But..

I can shower her with gifts, can't l?

So every week, I'd fall over myself to give her my gift

And she.. - Would smile?

And take it - Yes.

And l'm sure that one day, in return for all my gifts she would give me..

that one big gift I've been waiting for. - So did the gift arrive?

Winter arrived

On the 21st of December..

wrapped in a maroon shawl and a warm smile..

she stepped into the bus. Radiance on her face and in her hands..

a Golden Bakery box. Inside that box..

were the world's most beautiful heart shaped.. you know..

heart-shaped pastries

Wow! - Yes.

And then for the first time in a year..

she spoke her first words to me

Please..

would you distribute these pastries to all the passengers

I just got engaged

Sorry.

Ei handsome - Yes!

What happened?

She's calling you

Who is?

Tonight's your night

Those pangs you feel in your heart have pained me too

Why not drown our pains tonight?

Nice

Rare are those moments in life when desire calls

Come into my arms, or come and slit my throat

Oh forget it..

this give and take of hearts takes a lot of heart..

and doing it so boldly for the world to see.. it's a woman's art you see

In this winning and losing of hearts what are men worth?

His ruthless gaze..

tore up the street.. took me apart

It ran a razor's edge down the willing side of my heart

Wow! Wow!

I fall to restless pieces..

don't look at me that way

I fall to restless pieces, don't look at me that way

A townful of men in ruin surrenders to what I say

I fall to restless pieces, don't look at me that way

A townful of men in ruin surrenders to what I say

I stretch with desire, I take my bow

I stretch with desire..

come touch me now

Night eyes..

night eyes.. your night eyes..

The moon sleeps inside those night eyes

Night eyes, your night eyes Night falls inside those night eyes

These sighs you swore, wrote them in kohl

Come to life inside these eyes

That kiss you left on my handkerchief

I knot it until it dies

Oh your words are wisps from incense bowls

You waft in lazy like the warm wind rolls

Oh your words are wisps from incense bowls

You waft in lazy like the warm wind rolls

I bow, I stretch.. come touch me

I stretch with desire, I take my bow

night eyes.. your night eyes..

Night eyes, my night eyes You're a shadow inside my night eyes

night eyes.. your night eyes..

Ask private questions, brook no lies

Hide under those veil-like lids

The curtains behind which she shies

No curtains hide my pain, no lies try to guard me

I bow, I stretch.. come touch me

I stretch with desire, I take my bow

night eyes.. your night eyes..

You are mine in the memories of old stone cities

Our songs still echo in those forlorn cities

From the south gate arch to where the north gate lies..

you and I are lore set in stone cities

I hear the call of the saint on the wall

And swear by the black beauty of your eyes

I'm the guardian from evil your eyes never had

I'll suffuse them with smiles so they never look sad

Oh your words are wisps from incense bowls

You waft in lazy like the warm wind rolls

Oh your words are wisps from incense bowls

You waft in lazy like the warm wind rolls

Come touch me, oh touch me, oh touch me now

night eyes.. your night eyes..

I love the way you sway

Madam, I am your only Adam

Night eyes.. oh the dark of her nights in my eyes

Why do you dole out free drinks?

Why give free drinks, you fool! How will you run your hotel?

Anyway..

I enjoyed your company

I feel satisfied and a little in love

And it helped me forget those two

Forget them.. you've nothing to do with those scoundrels

Generally..

I don't take to strangers too well

But I don't know..

I don't know why the two of you have..

..touched my heart

We've done what? - Touched my heart..

you could've been my children

You haven't told us your name. - You haven't told..

My name is Dashrath

Dashrath Singh, Deputy Commissioner of Police

You're a police' wallah?

What did you think? Balloon' wallah?

Why what's come over you?

What's it? - Rickshaw' wallah..

Sit in the rickshaw

Go on, take him home. - Yes, take me home

It's very late. - Very late at night

Take me to the airport..

no not there

I'm going to Police Lines. - Go on, quick

Oh my God, the very same Dashrath Singh the one who's been after us?

My baby almost had a heart attack! That was close, let's get out of here

Get out? The fun's only just begun - What are you talking about?

Look, he never knew what we look like. He still doesn't. But now..

we know who he is and we also know that..

he's in charge of the security of the gold stashed at the airport

By God! You are.. - Vimmi, if we don't..

steal the meat right from the lion's den..

what did we achieve? - Your hunger's getting out of hand

Now we're a threesome. We'll need more food.. what do you say?

You'll get us killed someday

India's Central Bank doesn't keep its gold in any one place

To protect the gold from fires, floods or earthquakes..

the cache is split over four different cities

Depending on the requirements of various banks..

this gold is shuttled by air between these four cities once every week

How they cracked this confidential information, they haven't divulged

But what they did that day no one could have ever imagined

Not even me..

Delhi-Mumbai, 9.10 pm tonight. Korpal, Puneet, Mr.

And Delhi-Calcutta, 9.40 pm. Sharma, Vandana, Mrs.

What's this other ticket for? - Backup

-=MTR=-

Why the Air Traffic Control number? - Backup

A back up for everything? Oye Rakesh, is there one for you too?

Yes - Who?

You

Smart

Call back the Jet airways flight to Mumbai. The bomb is ticking

What nonsense. A bomb on the plane?

Jet 9W312. Yes Delhi Control?

Turn back and proceed for landing on emergency runway number 2

There is a bomb scare

Delhi Control is this a joke?

Bomb on board, he says

Jet 9W312. Turning back

The caller's number. Get it now

Go get the number from them. Now!

We can't have the number

It isn't under ourjurisdiction. - As long as the gold is on board..

this plane, the bomb, this airport, everything is under our jurisdiction

How many people knew about the gold? - Four bank employees

Are you implying the news was leaked? - Give me the key to the box

But we are not permitted to open it. - Give me the key

Now it's your responsibility. - The bomb might explode any time, sir

The bomb has exploded. Send message to headquarters.

I am assuming command

DCP Dashrath Singh here..

Surround the airport area

Locate persons who do not have any reason to be here at this hour

Take suspects into custody and inform immediately

They received the bomb scare from this number

Dial

Ringing

Orange Maruti Swift 5700

Vimmi we'll have to ditch this car. They've spotted it.

Get out

Stop.. taxi

Stop.. please

Papa'ji, please help us!

I'll give you more money than you ever imagined

Son, for this job, I won't take money even if you give it to me..

come my child, get up, you'll do fine

Have faith in god. Faith prevails

Sir, what are you saying?

Policemen in every hospital and nursing home?

We won't have men for policing the city.

She's in labour. She's about to deliver

Every child born in Delhi tonight will see a policeman's face..

before anything else

That Dashrath Singh figured me out.

How are you so sure?

I know.

I saw it in his eyes..

Then..

in no time every hospital in Delhi will be crawling with policemen

Which hospital do you want to go to son?

The biggest.. the biggest hospital in Delhi

Not a hospital or nursing home, they'll go to a nondescript clinic

If l know that Bunty..

..he'll definitely take Babli to the biggest hospital

Vimmi, don't be afraid

This hospital is packed choc-a-bloc with newborns and their mothers

It'll take them ages to check each bed. But you please hurry it up

It isn't in my hands, bloody idiot!

I told you you'll get us killed someday

Hush

But hey, what life did I have before I met you?

Is everything all right? - Yes

Papa'ji.. if you weren't here today..

There would have been someone else

The Lord up there runs a regular courier service

He always provides for ones in need

Those two have fled the hospital but they haven't fled Delhi yet

Seal Delhi, sir

Papa'ji, all that you've done for us..

One honest man would do for another

Papa'ji, you're kidding me

By now you must have figured that we aren't half as honest as we seem

I don't know what you've done to make these people hunt you down..

but I see a simple honesty in your eyes..

..take care son

God bless you.

For the next week or so they'll be baying for our blood

We'll return afterwards.. but where have you hidden the gold?

What's your baby, a boy or a girl?

What will you name your baby?

Before you think of a name you need to see the baby at least?

A day has gone by, have you even taken one look at your baby?

Did you hold your child in your arms, even once.. once even?

Vimmi, you know we didn't have any time for these.

Had l stopped for all this..

all three of us would've either been jailed or killed by now

Some reason for celebration!

The day he is born.. his parents die

Cursed fate to be born with! - Not his fault, is it?

That's what I'm saying! What wrong has he done..

to deserve parents who can go to jail anytime..

leaving him to rot on the streets

What are you trying to say? - Enough

I won't do this anymore. Neither will you..

Then what else can we do?

Anything, whatever everyone else does

If we had to end up doing what everybody else does..

why did we ever run away from home?

Because we were wrong

Now we're not free to live as we like.

Now we're responsible for one more life

How's he going to grow up?

How? With us..

..that's how With us?

And which school will he go to

You know this world we live in has two kinds of people. One..

who waste the best years of their lives in schools and colleges.

And the kind who school themselves.

Like us. We taught us to do what we're doing

Which is what he'll learn? - Of course!

And then he'll go to jail someday?

Have we ever been to jail?

We very nearly got thrown into jail

I don't want my son growing up behind bars..

or dying young on the run

Do you remember agreeing on all our marriage vows except..

We'll be Bunty-Babli for the rest of our lives

And we'll live out all our dreams. - Except..

Except? - Leave that to me

Okay

This is the exception Rakesh

You're getting over-emotional about this motherhood business

But now l am whatever l am. Now I want to hear your decision

Choose. lt's either this life.. or a life together

So what have you decided?

What'll I do without the two of you?

Those marriage vows weren't mere words

Fursatganj or Pankinagar?

Is it you that's saying this or?

Bunty and Rakesh. Both

What? - Tickets

Since when are we buying tickets? - From today

Why become so damn honest?

Oye Rakesh, you're in love

Oh all right

Rakesh my boy, this world we live in has two kinds of men. One..

the kind that thinks twice before getting married

And the kind that thinks afterwards like you, you idiot

Two tickets for Fursatganj

Name?

Rakesh Trivedi, Vimmi Trivedi

Bunty and Babli

You've had a long run. You must be tired

Rakesh.

Can we have some water?

Die of thirst dog!

Not for me. For the two of them

You won't believe me..

..but we quit being crooks half an hour ago

Absolutely right, I won't believe you.

- But if l insist I'm telling the truth?

I'll start doing right now what I had planned to do to you in jail

Why are you looking at me like that? - He's telling the truth

Guaranteed by you, India's biggest bonafide liar?

I'm not lying

A dog's tail insists it became ramrod straight half an hour ago?

You're as old as my father..

..no one's had the cheek to talk to her like that

So you respect your elders now, do you? - And why shouldn't we?

Now don't tell me you pray first thing every morning too!

She does

So? - So what!

Now you pray to your heart's content in jail!

It's all your fault now suffer. - My fault?

Who's idea was it to go straight? - It was for a good cause..

do you want your son to go to jail? - So where's he going now?

Now I see how the two of you have been fooling people for years

Pappu is hungry

Pappu? When did we start calling him Pappu?

Got to call him something no?

You're thinking of the gold all the time

Let's step outside for a while

I'm not going anywhere. - Up

Darned luck. No one ever caught us when we were in the thick of it

But the moment we quit..

Why did you get into all this?

I wanted to become someone important.

And.. you became?

You won't understand. - Why..

why won't I understand?

Because he never did. - Who?

My father

He's just like you

You're trying to con me again

May l? - A smoke? Sure..

Where are you going?

If she sees me smoking she'll scream

The child will stay with the mother

What's the use of crying now?

Should've considered this beforehand. - What else to do?

Become a ticket collector and collect ten rupee bribes all my life?

You can come in

We'll have to make a phone call to your home or mine

We certainly can't take him with us.

No, it won't come to that

I'll figure something.

And con ourselves out of this one too?

What else to do?

Take with me to jail..

..the very son for whose sake I gave up everything?

What justice!

Jails are for reforming.

And here, three people are being jailed

Two of whom have reformed and a third who's completely innocent

Don't worry Vimmi.

I'll crack a plan. - What plan Rakesh?

We've run out of plans

Vimmi do you have any idea what jails are like?

How will you spend so many years inside one?

Let's do something, l'll take the blame for everything

Then you're free to go home to Fursatganj with the baby

All you wanted was to become a model

I dragged you into this whole thing

You can't even make a cup of tea for yourself.

In jail.. how? - I'll manage Vimmi..

..don't worry about me

Have you ever managed to do anything alone?

In any case, Bunty is nothing without Babli

Get up

Unlock yourselves..

I can't do it..

We're nearing the railway signal on the outskirts of Delhi

The train halts there for two minutes

The two of..

the three of you can get off and go wherever you wish

No one recognises Bunty and Babli except me

And no one ever will

Sir.. - Shut up. Not a word

Or l just might change my mind

Get going

That's enough

Whether it was my life's biggest mistake..

..or their best con act, I didn't know

But policemen are human too, believe it or not..

we wear those uniforms only on our body,

..at heart we're as vulnerable as babies

I believed I had destroyed Bunty-Babli,

so l let Rakesh and Vimmi go..

because l think the law needs to destroy crime, not lives

The bank's gold was recovered from the spot Babli had indicated

The recoveries continued for months afterwards..

monies and valuables stolen by Bunty and Babli

I think they had told me the truth about going back..

to live respectable, honest lives like their parents

Rakesh'ji could you perhaps increase the pressure

What a joy

This world we live in has two kinds of Pappus. One..

the kind who obey their parents and get to eat chocolates

and the kind that doesn't and gets locked up inside toilets

You are? - The first

My darling baby

But he didn't even drink his milk.

He'll eat the chocolate

What good are chocolates? You and your fads

No, I'm feeling cold.. - Forget the cold. Be fashionable

What are you teaching Pappu?

To speak the truth and pray every morning

Where's my son? One of his friends is waiting downstairs

Friends and folks in Fursatganj find all the time for fun

You fix the name of this city. I'll fix this friend

My son is genius from..

childhood

I am very lucky

I got a daughter-in-law who is very very smart

It's such a joy to know that our son and his wife..

..have done things..

so important that your department still remembers them

Never told folks at home what all you achieved?

Maybe you should tell us

Nervous already?

A scam is in the offing

Huge scam

Sir..

I swear by my son, l've given it up

I've no idea of what scams are happening

For three years now, I'm following a work-home-work routine

This scam has got to be stopped. - Then go ahead and stop it

We cannot stop it

Who else can?

You

Please save us from this life of honesty and respectfulness. Please.

Is it just you, or.. - Both of us.

I'd choose death over making mango pickle.

I'd rather die, Rakesh.

Have faith in God. Faith prevails.

One step, two steps, he steps it up, swings it

pumps it, struts his stuff. Meet Bunty.

Minute by minute, she turns it up, spins it

so you can't get enough. Meet Babli.

Swami.. Bunty Ramaswami.

Mandalam.. Babli Cholamandalam.

Bunty Aur Babli Bunty and Babli

They maybe two, but they're too much.

Once upon a time he told me that he was in the business of cleaning

So l put them on the job of cleaning up society

Bunty Aur Babli Bunty and Babli

They maybe two, but they're too much.