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1
00:00:00,293 --> 00:00:03,576
(rhythmic cash register sounds)
2
00:00:03,576 --> 00:00:05,466
(moves into smooth guitar music)
3
00:00:05,466 --> 00:00:08,759
♫ Ground floor perfumery,
stationery and leather goods,
4
00:00:08,759 --> 00:00:10,235
♫ wigs and haberdashery,
5
00:00:10,235 --> 00:00:11,764
♫ kitchenware and food
6
00:00:11,764 --> 00:00:14,014
♫ Going up
7
00:00:17,667 --> 00:00:21,894
♫ First floor telephones,
gents ready-made suits
8
00:00:21,894 --> 00:00:23,214
- Certainly sir.
9
00:00:23,214 --> 00:00:25,088
Mr. Lucas, are you free?
10
00:00:25,088 --> 00:00:27,454
- I'm free Mr. Humphreys.
11
00:00:27,454 --> 00:00:29,116
- Your customer for the
made to measure suit.
12
00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,124
- Ah, good morning sir.
13
00:00:30,124 --> 00:00:31,887
And may I say, what a
lovely morning it is.
14
00:00:31,887 --> 00:00:33,744
One can almost feel a
touch of spring in the air,
15
00:00:33,744 --> 00:00:34,810
don't you almost feel there's a touch
16
00:00:34,810 --> 00:00:36,344
of spring in the air, Mr. Humphreys?
17
00:00:36,344 --> 00:00:37,629
- Now that you mention it Mr. Lucas,
18
00:00:37,629 --> 00:00:41,523
I did feel a bit frisky about
half past seven this morning.
19
00:00:41,523 --> 00:00:44,273
Mind you, it was a waste of time.
20
00:00:45,270 --> 00:00:47,660
- Fetch the gentleman's suit, Mr. Lucas.
21
00:00:47,660 --> 00:00:49,176
- Yes, one suit coming up, Mr. Granger.
22
00:00:49,176 --> 00:00:50,086
- I'll take the customer
23
00:00:50,086 --> 00:00:51,510
into the changing room, Mr. Granger,
24
00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:53,208
and put his clothes on a coat hanger.
25
00:00:53,208 --> 00:00:56,683
- And come straight back, Mr. Humphreys.
26
00:00:56,683 --> 00:00:59,777
- And that's of the main street in Ajaxi.
27
00:00:59,777 --> 00:01:01,864
- Oh, my girlfriend went there last year,
28
00:01:01,864 --> 00:01:02,838
but she didn't like it.
29
00:01:02,838 --> 00:01:06,146
Every time she went out,
she got her bottom pinched.
30
00:01:06,146 --> 00:01:07,404
- Well, of course, that only happens
31
00:01:07,404 --> 00:01:09,977
to a certain class of person.
32
00:01:09,977 --> 00:01:12,017
I mean, my friend Mrs. Elthrope and me
33
00:01:12,017 --> 00:01:15,407
walked up and down
there one entire evening
34
00:01:15,407 --> 00:01:16,558
and nothing happened.
35
00:01:16,558 --> 00:01:18,261
(audience laughing)
36
00:01:18,261 --> 00:01:20,006
- Going again this year, are you?
37
00:01:20,006 --> 00:01:23,189
- No, I think I'll try somewhere else.
38
00:01:23,189 --> 00:01:24,966
I've decided on Tunisia.
39
00:01:24,966 --> 00:01:28,726
I feel in the mood for
palm trees and deserts.
40
00:01:28,726 --> 00:01:30,481
- Oh well, that's funny,
because my girlfriend
41
00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:32,283
went there the year before last year,
42
00:01:32,283 --> 00:01:33,855
and she didn't like that either,
43
00:01:33,855 --> 00:01:35,342
'cause she got tangled up with this sheik
44
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what wanted to put in his harem.
45
00:01:37,416 --> 00:01:38,249
- Really?
46
00:01:40,232 --> 00:01:42,149
Where exactly was that?
47
00:01:44,228 --> 00:01:46,351
- Naughty postcards, Mrs. Sloakam?
48
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- No, they're photographs
of my holiday last year,
49
00:01:49,455 --> 00:01:50,689
Captain Peacock.
50
00:01:50,689 --> 00:01:51,998
- Well, perhaps we could
have a look at them
51
00:01:51,998 --> 00:01:53,597
after hours, eh Mrs. Sloakam?
52
00:01:53,597 --> 00:01:57,277
- We couldn't have a look at
them at all, Captain Peacock.
53
00:01:57,277 --> 00:01:59,185
- Let him see that one
of you in your bikini.
54
00:01:59,185 --> 00:02:00,852
- Oh no, Ms. Bronze.
55
00:02:03,677 --> 00:02:07,773
- By jove yes. (laughs)
56
00:02:07,773 --> 00:02:10,264
- I just don't care when
I'm on the continent.
57
00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:12,335
(audience laughing)
58
00:02:12,335 --> 00:02:14,252
- No you don't, do you?
59
00:02:15,593 --> 00:02:17,212
I must say it's the
first time I've ever seen
60
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anybody doing a cartwheel with
an ice cream in both hands.
61
00:02:20,378 --> 00:02:22,748
(audience laughing)
62
00:02:22,748 --> 00:02:25,081
- You've got it upside down.
63
00:02:27,728 --> 00:02:31,645
- Yes, I did think the
sky was rather overcast.
64
00:02:33,391 --> 00:02:35,727
- I'd just been in the ice cream parlor,
65
00:02:35,727 --> 00:02:37,929
and I'd just come out.
66
00:02:37,929 --> 00:02:40,179
- Yes, you had, didn't you.
67
00:02:41,491 --> 00:02:42,900
- My boyfriend wants me to go on
68
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those adventure holiday trips with him.
69
00:02:45,178 --> 00:02:46,636
- Oh that would have been very exciting.
70
00:02:46,636 --> 00:02:48,121
And where were you going, India?
71
00:02:48,121 --> 00:02:49,157
- Well, we never got that far
72
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because when I said I wanted
separate sleeping bags,
73
00:02:51,826 --> 00:02:53,477
he went off the idea.
74
00:02:53,477 --> 00:02:57,343
(blowing raspberries)
75
00:02:57,343 --> 00:03:00,418
- I think Mr. Mash is trying
to attract our attention.
76
00:03:00,418 --> 00:03:01,949
(audience laughing)
77
00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:03,257
- What is it Mash?
78
00:03:03,257 --> 00:03:05,079
- It's nine thirty, Captain.
79
00:03:05,079 --> 00:03:07,207
Do you mind if I bring my audible self
80
00:03:07,207 --> 00:03:08,579
on to the floor, Captain?
81
00:03:08,579 --> 00:03:10,236
In my dirty, scruffy overall,
82
00:03:10,236 --> 00:03:12,662
which you don't like the
customers to see, sir?
83
00:03:12,662 --> 00:03:15,162
- You are permitted to
come on the floor, Mash,
84
00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:17,632
provided you have a good reason.
85
00:03:17,632 --> 00:03:19,094
- I have.
86
00:03:19,094 --> 00:03:23,261
I've come to stick this
up Mrs. Sloakam's corsets.
87
00:03:24,269 --> 00:03:26,063
- And about time, too.
88
00:03:26,063 --> 00:03:28,356
- I beg your pardon, Mrs. Sloakam?
89
00:03:28,356 --> 00:03:32,519
- It's for the Firm You Up
Fat Fighter Control Corset.
90
00:03:32,519 --> 00:03:35,019
It's been here for three days.
91
00:03:36,530 --> 00:03:38,751
- Well, what does it do?
92
00:03:38,751 --> 00:03:41,001
- It's a mystery to us all.
93
00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:43,305
- There you are, Mrs. Sloakam.
94
00:03:43,305 --> 00:03:45,380
Your juice is one.
95
00:03:45,380 --> 00:03:48,380
(audience laughing)
96
00:03:57,623 --> 00:03:59,815
- What will they think of next?
97
00:03:59,815 --> 00:04:02,315
- It's not very subtle, is it?
98
00:04:03,908 --> 00:04:07,501
- Well, I'm not having
that there all day long,
99
00:04:07,501 --> 00:04:09,084
having indigestion.
100
00:04:10,798 --> 00:04:12,691
- It certainly would be more acceptable,
101
00:04:12,691 --> 00:04:15,747
if it didn't inflate quite so much.
102
00:04:15,747 --> 00:04:17,580
I mean, if it sort of.
103
00:04:19,028 --> 00:04:22,028
(audience laughing)
104
00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:33,027
- You haven't improved
it, Captain Peacock.
105
00:04:33,027 --> 00:04:35,945
- Take it away, Mash. Take it away.
106
00:04:35,945 --> 00:04:37,953
- Mr. Humphrey, how did it come to pass
107
00:04:37,953 --> 00:04:41,668
that Mr. Lucas got the
made to measure customer.
108
00:04:41,668 --> 00:04:42,922
- Well it was when you were away
109
00:04:42,922 --> 00:04:45,091
poorly with your back, Mr. Granger.
110
00:04:45,091 --> 00:04:47,601
I was fitting a gentleman
for a pair of bathing shorts,
111
00:04:47,601 --> 00:04:49,286
and before I knew where I was,
112
00:04:49,286 --> 00:04:51,085
Mr. Lucas had taken them down.
113
00:04:51,085 --> 00:04:52,581
(audience laughing)
114
00:04:52,581 --> 00:04:53,775
- The bathing shorts?
115
00:04:53,775 --> 00:04:56,683
- No, the measurements
for the made to measure.
116
00:04:56,683 --> 00:04:57,871
- Well I must do the fitting,
117
00:04:57,871 --> 00:05:00,472
so bring the pincushion and the chalk.
118
00:05:00,472 --> 00:05:01,935
- Yes, Mr. Granger.
119
00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:04,935
(audience laughing)
120
00:05:07,054 --> 00:05:07,889
- Oh!
121
00:05:07,889 --> 00:05:10,889
(audience laughing)
122
00:05:16,263 --> 00:05:19,027
- Yes, well, considering
it's your first fitting,
123
00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:20,527
they're very near.
124
00:05:22,283 --> 00:05:24,003
Have you put weight on, sir.
125
00:05:24,003 --> 00:05:25,628
- No, as a matter of fact I'm on a diet.
126
00:05:25,628 --> 00:05:27,967
- Ah yes, I remember you
mentioned you were on a diet
127
00:05:27,967 --> 00:05:29,599
when I was measuring you, yes.
128
00:05:29,599 --> 00:05:31,205
So I allowed for it, you see.
129
00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:32,686
Yes, another couple of months,
130
00:05:32,686 --> 00:05:35,075
they'll probably fit perfectly.
131
00:05:35,075 --> 00:05:36,003
- Months?
132
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,678
- Mr. Lucas, Mr. Granger's
here to do the fitting.
133
00:05:37,678 --> 00:05:38,869
- Good morning, sir.
134
00:05:38,869 --> 00:05:39,939
- Good morning.
135
00:05:39,939 --> 00:05:41,439
- Yes, I see, yes.
136
00:05:43,259 --> 00:05:45,199
It is a little snug, I think.
137
00:05:45,199 --> 00:05:46,532
Don't you agree?
138
00:05:48,357 --> 00:05:49,483
- Yes, it is rather snug.
139
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:52,947
(audience laughing)
140
00:05:52,947 --> 00:05:56,179
- That's because I've got
my hand in the waistband.
141
00:05:56,179 --> 00:05:58,890
- Well, take it out, Mr. Lucas.
142
00:05:58,890 --> 00:06:01,468
- Would you mind breathing in sir?
143
00:06:01,468 --> 00:06:02,301
Thank you.
144
00:06:03,462 --> 00:06:05,465
- Yes, let me see here.
145
00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:07,107
Oh yes.
146
00:06:07,107 --> 00:06:08,365
Let out waist.
147
00:06:08,365 --> 00:06:09,698
- Let out waist.
148
00:06:10,997 --> 00:06:11,997
- Ease seat.
149
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:18,287
- Ah, the professional touch, Mr. Granger.
150
00:06:18,287 --> 00:06:21,231
- Couldn't have don't it better myself.
151
00:06:21,231 --> 00:06:24,213
- And I think the rise is a little short.
152
00:06:24,213 --> 00:06:28,242
- Yes, I was just
thinking that Mr. Granger.
153
00:06:28,242 --> 00:06:29,813
- Lengthen rise.
154
00:06:29,813 --> 00:06:32,403
- [Mr. Humphreys] Lengthen rise.
155
00:06:32,403 --> 00:06:35,406
- Now, how are they for length?
156
00:06:35,406 --> 00:06:38,406
(audience laughing)
157
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:45,390
- I think they're breaking
a bit early, Mr. Granger.
158
00:06:45,390 --> 00:06:48,297
- And finishing rather late.
159
00:06:48,297 --> 00:06:50,033
- Mind you, it will be
a lot better of course,
160
00:06:50,033 --> 00:06:52,673
when you're wearing shoes.
161
00:06:52,673 --> 00:06:54,423
- I am wearing shoes.
162
00:06:55,294 --> 00:06:58,035
- Yes, well of course I rather
saw you in high heels myself,
163
00:06:58,035 --> 00:06:59,210
didn't you Mr. Humphreys?
164
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:00,460
- I did, I did.
165
00:07:01,975 --> 00:07:03,675
- I think that we shall have to take
166
00:07:03,675 --> 00:07:05,312
a touch off the leg.
167
00:07:05,312 --> 00:07:09,151
- Allow me to chalk the leg, Mr. Granger.
168
00:07:09,151 --> 00:07:12,067
- We are just going to take
a shaving off the leg, sir.
169
00:07:12,067 --> 00:07:14,544
- About eight inches.
170
00:07:14,544 --> 00:07:16,044
- Shall we try the jacket?
171
00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:17,594
- Ah yes, I'm sure you'll find the jacket
172
00:07:17,594 --> 00:07:18,564
to your liking, sir.
173
00:07:18,564 --> 00:07:20,653
If you care to just
slip your arms in there,
174
00:07:20,653 --> 00:07:21,718
that's it sir.
175
00:07:21,718 --> 00:07:24,028
There we are. There.
176
00:07:24,028 --> 00:07:27,028
(audience laughing)
177
00:07:39,304 --> 00:07:40,304
- Mr. Lucas.
178
00:07:41,375 --> 00:07:43,658
Do you think you got the right jacket?
179
00:07:43,658 --> 00:07:44,741
- I think so.
180
00:07:48,075 --> 00:07:51,129
- Do you like to show a lot of cuff, sir?
181
00:07:51,129 --> 00:07:53,167
(audience laughing)
182
00:07:53,167 --> 00:07:55,339
- Not quite as much as that.
183
00:07:55,339 --> 00:07:56,750
- There's plenty to let down.
184
00:07:56,750 --> 00:07:59,647
- Won't that make the buttons rather high?
185
00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:02,548
- Yes, I hadn't thought of that.
186
00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:05,902
- The 12 button look is quite
the thing now, you know, sir.
187
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:09,152
- I think we'd better have new sleeves.
188
00:08:10,544 --> 00:08:14,246
- Yes, I think we'd
better have new sleeves.
189
00:08:14,246 --> 00:08:17,246
(audience laughing)
190
00:08:20,169 --> 00:08:23,204
I think this is yours, sir.
191
00:08:23,204 --> 00:08:25,625
- Don't worry about that sir,
our repair department will
192
00:08:25,625 --> 00:08:28,163
tack that up for you before you leave.
193
00:08:28,163 --> 00:08:32,767
- Don't you find that it's
much easier under the arm, sir?
194
00:08:32,767 --> 00:08:34,863
- Yes, yes, yes it is much.
195
00:08:34,863 --> 00:08:39,027
- Good, good, well
we're on the right line.
196
00:08:39,027 --> 00:08:41,544
- These were taken on
my holiday last year.
197
00:08:41,544 --> 00:08:43,720
- Oh, doesn't it look hot.
198
00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:45,152
- Oh you're right, yes.
199
00:08:45,152 --> 00:08:47,158
Yes, that's the worst of the desert.
200
00:08:47,158 --> 00:08:49,003
- Doesn't Mrs. Peacock look well.
201
00:08:49,003 --> 00:08:50,773
- Yes, she does, yes.
202
00:08:50,773 --> 00:08:52,517
We went back to Bessamachu,
203
00:08:52,517 --> 00:08:54,386
where scored our first big victory.
204
00:08:54,386 --> 00:08:56,693
- Oh, that was where
you had your honeymoon.
205
00:08:56,693 --> 00:08:59,350
(audience laughing)
206
00:08:59,350 --> 00:09:02,933
- No, that was where
we pushed Rommel back.
207
00:09:03,874 --> 00:09:06,520
I was dug in at this very spot
208
00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:09,295
for about seven whole days.
209
00:09:09,295 --> 00:09:11,417
It's a motel now, you know.
210
00:09:11,417 --> 00:09:13,497
Oh it was absolute hell, you know.
211
00:09:13,497 --> 00:09:16,949
The heat, the sun, flies, the sandstorms,
212
00:09:16,949 --> 00:09:18,825
the monotonous food.
213
00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:22,566
- Oh what you poor boys
must have suffered.
214
00:09:22,566 --> 00:09:24,360
- No, that was last year at the motel.
215
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:27,627
(audience laughing)
216
00:09:27,627 --> 00:09:29,854
- Hope I'm not interrupting
anything, Captain Peacock.
217
00:09:29,854 --> 00:09:32,164
- Now, he's just showing
us his holiday pictures.
218
00:09:32,164 --> 00:09:33,272
- Well, perhaps we could look at those
219
00:09:33,272 --> 00:09:35,358
after the store closes.
220
00:09:35,358 --> 00:09:36,916
Now, I'd like a word with everybody
221
00:09:36,916 --> 00:09:38,308
if you could get them to gather round.
222
00:09:38,308 --> 00:09:39,592
- Yes, of course.
223
00:09:39,592 --> 00:09:40,983
- Thank you very much, sir.
224
00:09:40,983 --> 00:09:42,080
I'm glad that your satisfied with
225
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:45,155
this part of the suit anyway.
226
00:09:45,155 --> 00:09:47,798
And the rest of it will be
ready a week on Tuesday.
227
00:09:47,798 --> 00:09:49,351
- I shall look forward to that.
228
00:09:49,351 --> 00:09:52,432
- Mr. Granger, Mr. Humphreys,
Mr. Lucas, are you free.
229
00:09:52,432 --> 00:09:54,092
- Yes, I'm free.
230
00:09:54,092 --> 00:09:54,925
- I'm free.
231
00:09:54,925 --> 00:09:55,842
- I'm free.
232
00:09:56,905 --> 00:09:59,905
- Mrs. Sloakam, gather round please.
233
00:10:01,961 --> 00:10:03,951
- Now, I've just come from a board meeting
234
00:10:03,951 --> 00:10:05,677
which we held in the board room
235
00:10:05,677 --> 00:10:09,225
with regard to the
redecoration of the store.
236
00:10:09,225 --> 00:10:12,228
Rather than disrupt
sales for weeks on end,
237
00:10:12,228 --> 00:10:14,175
we have decided to close the store
238
00:10:14,175 --> 00:10:16,455
for the first two weeks in August.
239
00:10:16,455 --> 00:10:19,137
I feel sure you'll agree this
is an excellent decision.
240
00:10:19,137 --> 00:10:21,979
- Does that mean we get
two weeks extra holiday?
241
00:10:21,979 --> 00:10:24,625
- No, the board hopes that
you will take your holiday
242
00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:26,562
to coincide with this.
243
00:10:26,562 --> 00:10:28,738
- But I can't possible
go to Little Hampton
244
00:10:28,738 --> 00:10:31,271
for the first two weeks in August.
245
00:10:31,271 --> 00:10:32,833
I mean, the place is full of trippers,
246
00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:34,986
and Mrs. Featherston would never be able
247
00:10:34,986 --> 00:10:36,403
to squeeze me in.
248
00:10:38,523 --> 00:10:42,080
- The Isle of Capri will be an
absolute nightmare in August.
249
00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:45,457
I've heard that Gracie
goes somewhere else.
250
00:10:45,457 --> 00:10:48,224
- Yes, well we did realize
that there would be hardships.
251
00:10:48,224 --> 00:10:50,092
I have therefore recommend the payment
252
00:10:50,092 --> 00:10:53,925
of inconvenience money
of five pound per head.
253
00:10:54,893 --> 00:10:55,973
- Per day.
254
00:10:55,973 --> 00:10:57,299
- No, for the fortnight.
255
00:10:57,299 --> 00:10:59,457
(audience laughing)
256
00:10:59,457 --> 00:11:03,096
- Inconvenience money, five
pounds for a fortnight?
257
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:06,096
- That's not even convenience money.
258
00:11:07,674 --> 00:11:09,518
- It certainly won't make up to me
259
00:11:09,518 --> 00:11:11,487
for being on a camel in the desert
260
00:11:11,487 --> 00:11:16,316
when all the sheiks are on
their yachts in the Caribbeano.
261
00:11:16,316 --> 00:11:18,360
- It doesn't fit in with my plans at all.
262
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:22,603
I had reserved a holiday
on the island of Levant.
263
00:11:22,603 --> 00:11:24,004
- The Isle of Levant?
264
00:11:24,004 --> 00:11:25,919
That's a nudist colony.
265
00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:27,243
- Nature camp.
266
00:11:27,243 --> 00:11:29,118
- Oh, Captain Peacock.
267
00:11:29,118 --> 00:11:30,804
That wasn't you sawing down that tree
268
00:11:30,804 --> 00:11:34,669
in last month's Health
and Efficiency, was it?
269
00:11:34,669 --> 00:11:36,507
- No, it was not.
270
00:11:36,507 --> 00:11:38,412
- If I cancel now, Mrs. Featherston
271
00:11:38,412 --> 00:11:41,329
will have me blacklist by the LHLA.
272
00:11:44,224 --> 00:11:45,141
- The LHLA?
273
00:11:46,159 --> 00:11:49,909
- The Little Hamptons
Landladies Association.
274
00:11:51,756 --> 00:11:53,339
- Oh, the disgrace.
275
00:11:54,233 --> 00:11:57,456
- Needless to say, it's not
very convenience for me either.
276
00:11:57,456 --> 00:12:01,010
I had aimed to go to Monte
Carlo, try my hand at the tables.
277
00:12:01,010 --> 00:12:04,927
- Don't they need waiters
any time of the year?
278
00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:09,536
- I think I speak for all of us when I say
279
00:12:09,536 --> 00:12:12,560
that we would ask the board
to reconsider their decision.
280
00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:14,989
- Is that your last word, Captain Peacock?
281
00:12:14,989 --> 00:12:17,430
- Yes, it is his last word.
282
00:12:17,430 --> 00:12:19,747
- I'm surprised at you, Captain Peacock.
283
00:12:19,747 --> 00:12:21,814
- There comes a time, Mr. Rumbolt,
284
00:12:21,814 --> 00:12:25,067
when any man who is a man
must stand up to be counted.
285
00:12:25,067 --> 00:12:25,900
- One.
286
00:12:28,741 --> 00:12:30,819
- You have my support, Steven.
287
00:12:30,819 --> 00:12:31,765
- And mine.
288
00:12:31,765 --> 00:12:33,487
- I'm right behind you, Captain Peacock.
289
00:12:33,487 --> 00:12:36,609
- I'm right behind you, Mr. Lucas.
290
00:12:36,609 --> 00:12:40,359
- I'd rather you were
behind Captain Peacock.
291
00:12:41,423 --> 00:12:43,089
- Do you like it, madam?
292
00:12:43,089 --> 00:12:45,225
- To be sure, it is a beautiful color.
293
00:12:45,225 --> 00:12:48,247
- Oh yes, that shamrock green goes so well
294
00:12:48,247 --> 00:12:49,972
with madam's eyes.
295
00:12:49,972 --> 00:12:52,124
- It's the blarney you're giving me.
296
00:12:52,124 --> 00:12:53,654
But I'll take it all the same.
297
00:12:53,654 --> 00:12:55,439
- Will you be after wrapping it for me?
298
00:12:55,439 --> 00:12:56,714
- Certainly.
299
00:12:56,714 --> 00:13:01,030
Will it be after going on madam's account?
300
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:02,310
- Are you being served, sir?
301
00:13:02,310 --> 00:13:03,884
- Oh, I was looking for a dressing gown.
302
00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:05,116
- Certainly sir.
303
00:13:05,116 --> 00:13:07,601
Mr. Humphreys, are you free?
304
00:13:07,601 --> 00:13:08,766
- Yes, I'm free.
305
00:13:08,766 --> 00:13:09,803
- This customer would like to see
306
00:13:09,803 --> 00:13:11,267
what you have in dressing gowns.
307
00:13:11,267 --> 00:13:12,434
- Certainly, Captain Peacock.
308
00:13:12,434 --> 00:13:13,267
Good morning, sir.
309
00:13:13,267 --> 00:13:14,100
- Good morning.
310
00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:14,933
- Would you like to see what I've got
311
00:13:14,933 --> 00:13:17,631
in long ones or short ones?
312
00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:19,338
- Well, I'd like something that
313
00:13:19,338 --> 00:13:21,088
hangs to about there.
314
00:13:23,085 --> 00:13:25,418
- Yes, they're very popular.
315
00:13:26,641 --> 00:13:29,921
Mr. Lucas, Mr. Lucas, are you free?
316
00:13:29,921 --> 00:13:32,094
- I'm free, Mr. Humphreys.
317
00:13:32,094 --> 00:13:33,369
- The customer would like a dressing gown.
318
00:13:33,369 --> 00:13:34,267
Bring the rail.
319
00:13:34,267 --> 00:13:35,742
- One rail coming up, Mr. Humphreys.
320
00:13:35,742 --> 00:13:37,342
- Now sir, we got Turkish
towel, terry towel,
321
00:13:37,342 --> 00:13:40,120
terralin and wool, short
length, calf length,
322
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:41,470
slim fit or full,
323
00:13:41,470 --> 00:13:45,637
all on, band lung, shangton
silk or simulated seersucker.
324
00:13:47,745 --> 00:13:50,617
- Could you say that again?
325
00:13:50,617 --> 00:13:53,176
- I'd rather show you.
326
00:13:53,176 --> 00:13:55,343
- One rail, Mr. Humphreys.
327
00:13:56,296 --> 00:13:57,540
Good morning sir, could
I take your coat sir?
328
00:13:57,540 --> 00:13:59,333
- Yes, thank you, thank you, yes.
329
00:13:59,333 --> 00:14:01,582
- Now sir, how about something like this.
330
00:14:01,582 --> 00:14:04,165
This is from our Kung-fu range.
331
00:14:06,511 --> 00:14:08,631
Quite a little relaxing thing it is,
332
00:14:08,631 --> 00:14:11,570
plenty of room under
the arms for movement.
333
00:14:11,570 --> 00:14:14,127
I get quite carried away
when I put one of. (screams)
334
00:14:14,127 --> 00:14:17,127
(audience laughing)
335
00:14:21,976 --> 00:14:25,726
So sorry sir, I don't
know what came over me.
336
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,137
- I don't think it's quite me.
337
00:14:28,137 --> 00:14:29,589
- No, no.
338
00:14:29,589 --> 00:14:30,863
If they send aftershave lotion,
339
00:14:30,863 --> 00:14:34,408
you could do yourself a mischief.
340
00:14:34,408 --> 00:14:37,163
What about this sir? I
call this one the Nanny.
341
00:14:37,163 --> 00:14:39,434
- Oh, yes, it's a beautiful blue.
342
00:14:39,434 --> 00:14:41,831
- Yes, but it hasn't a hood.
343
00:14:41,831 --> 00:14:43,313
- I hadn't really thought about a hood,
344
00:14:43,313 --> 00:14:44,969
that would rather,
345
00:14:44,969 --> 00:14:46,321
would be rather nice.
346
00:14:46,321 --> 00:14:50,113
- In that case sir, you want
our Christopher Robin range.
347
00:14:50,113 --> 00:14:51,900
These are very popular,
we've sold a lot of these,
348
00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:52,896
haven't we Mr. Lucas?
349
00:14:52,896 --> 00:14:54,346
- Oh yes, we've sold a lot
of these Mr. Humphreys, yes.
350
00:14:54,346 --> 00:14:56,442
- Matter of fact, I have one myself.
351
00:14:56,442 --> 00:15:00,547
I lie in bed and I pull the
hood right over my head.
352
00:15:00,547 --> 00:15:03,010
♫ And close your eyes and curl up small
353
00:15:03,010 --> 00:15:06,451
♫ And nobody knows you're there at all
354
00:15:06,451 --> 00:15:08,768
- Dont go on, Mr. Lucas.
355
00:15:08,768 --> 00:15:10,566
- God bless you, Father.
356
00:15:10,566 --> 00:15:13,566
(audience laughing)
357
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:18,773
(knocking on door)
358
00:15:18,773 --> 00:15:20,392
- Enter.
359
00:15:20,392 --> 00:15:23,286
- Mr. Rumbolt, have the higher-ups
360
00:15:23,286 --> 00:15:26,190
come to decision about the holidays, then?
361
00:15:26,190 --> 00:15:27,281
- Well if you'd like to stay,
362
00:15:27,281 --> 00:15:29,579
I've called a meeting to give a ruling.
363
00:15:29,579 --> 00:15:30,857
- 'Cause I've been on the blower,
364
00:15:30,857 --> 00:15:33,265
and I can't cancel the Seashells.
365
00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:35,138
- The Seashells Boarding House?
366
00:15:35,138 --> 00:15:38,805
- No, no. The Seashells
in the Indian Ocean.
367
00:15:39,871 --> 00:15:41,908
- Seems a long way to go for
someone in your position.
368
00:15:41,908 --> 00:15:42,936
- I've got this urge for some of them
369
00:15:42,936 --> 00:15:45,265
native girls with grass skirts.
370
00:15:45,265 --> 00:15:46,098
Ha-hey.
371
00:15:46,098 --> 00:15:48,523
(audience laughing)
372
00:15:48,523 --> 00:15:49,876
- Indeed.
373
00:15:49,876 --> 00:15:54,610
- I'm leaving the wife
and taking the lawnmower.
374
00:15:54,610 --> 00:15:55,443
Get it?
375
00:15:56,421 --> 00:15:58,292
Grass skirt, lawnmower.
376
00:15:58,292 --> 00:15:59,209
Oh, blimey.
377
00:16:02,277 --> 00:16:05,909
Here, now look at that.
Now that's the hotel, see.
378
00:16:05,909 --> 00:16:08,742
And here is a typical native girl
379
00:16:08,742 --> 00:16:11,061
sitting under a palm tree, see.
380
00:16:11,061 --> 00:16:14,791
I bet you've never seen
coconuts that size have you, eh?
381
00:16:14,791 --> 00:16:15,720
(knocking on door)
382
00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:16,553
- Enter.
383
00:16:18,331 --> 00:16:21,027
- Oh Mr. Rumbolt, I hope this
isn't going to take long.
384
00:16:21,027 --> 00:16:24,254
My pussy's been locked up for eight hours,
385
00:16:24,254 --> 00:16:27,603
and I'm afraid it's just not convenient.
386
00:16:27,603 --> 00:16:31,038
- And I've gotta be back in
time for Top of the Pops.
387
00:16:31,038 --> 00:16:32,584
- Oh, do you watch that?
388
00:16:32,584 --> 00:16:34,246
- No, but someone has to hold me mum back
389
00:16:34,246 --> 00:16:36,496
when Gary Glitter comes on.
390
00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:39,429
- Does she fancy him?
391
00:16:39,429 --> 00:16:41,679
- No, she kicks the settee.
392
00:16:42,623 --> 00:16:44,956
- Come in and shut the door.
393
00:16:49,475 --> 00:16:52,783
Now, before I begin, have you
reconsidered your decision
394
00:16:52,783 --> 00:16:56,194
not to help Grace Brothers
over this difficult period?
395
00:16:56,194 --> 00:16:59,570
Are you determined to reject
the board's generous offer?
396
00:16:59,570 --> 00:17:01,679
- Perhaps, as senior staff member,
397
00:17:01,679 --> 00:17:03,160
I should be spokesman?
398
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:04,636
- Carry on, Steven.
399
00:17:04,636 --> 00:17:06,303
- Yes, you carry on.
400
00:17:08,016 --> 00:17:10,908
- Would you like our feeling
in a nutshell, Mr. Rumbolt?
401
00:17:10,908 --> 00:17:12,075
- Please, yes.
402
00:17:12,075 --> 00:17:13,808
- It's not on.
403
00:17:13,808 --> 00:17:15,188
- I see.
404
00:17:15,188 --> 00:17:17,244
- You'll have to up the ante, Mr. Rumbolt.
405
00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:18,903
I mean, five pounds goes nowhere.
406
00:17:18,903 --> 00:17:21,204
A loaf of bread costs three shillings.
407
00:17:21,204 --> 00:17:23,629
Five pounds is only 35 loaves.
408
00:17:23,629 --> 00:17:27,510
- And where can you go
on holiday for 35 loaves?
409
00:17:27,510 --> 00:17:30,593
- It doesn't buy much crumpet either.
410
00:17:31,744 --> 00:17:33,897
- I don't get the enjoyment out of it
411
00:17:33,897 --> 00:17:36,064
I used to in the old days.
412
00:17:38,063 --> 00:17:39,730
- What, the crumpet?
413
00:17:40,968 --> 00:17:42,301
- No, the bread.
414
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:48,559
- I think it's possible we
may be veering from the point.
415
00:17:48,559 --> 00:17:51,488
As I understand it, you are
not accepting this offer,
416
00:17:51,488 --> 00:17:52,731
is that right?
417
00:17:52,731 --> 00:17:55,898
- Speaking for myself, I am unanimous.
418
00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:00,411
- Nevertheless, the
store does have to close
419
00:18:00,411 --> 00:18:02,194
for those two weeks.
420
00:18:02,194 --> 00:18:04,347
However, young Mr. Grace did anticipate
421
00:18:04,347 --> 00:18:06,886
that the wind might
blow in that direction,
422
00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:08,943
and so he is prepared
to make what I consider
423
00:18:08,943 --> 00:18:11,087
to be an even more generous offer.
424
00:18:11,087 --> 00:18:13,832
He will pay for us to
have a holiday in the sun,
425
00:18:13,832 --> 00:18:18,667
provided we agree to take it
during the said two weeks.
426
00:18:18,667 --> 00:18:20,966
- Listen, is all that for free?
427
00:18:20,966 --> 00:18:24,723
- Well, Mr. Grace does happen
to own Grace Air Tours,
428
00:18:24,723 --> 00:18:27,638
and Grace Made to Measure
Continental Holidays.
429
00:18:27,638 --> 00:18:30,407
- That does sound a much
more generous offer.
430
00:18:30,407 --> 00:18:32,616
- Can we go anywhere we like, then?
431
00:18:32,616 --> 00:18:34,677
- Well, no, that would hardly be fair.
432
00:18:34,677 --> 00:18:36,409
We all have to go to the same place.
433
00:18:36,409 --> 00:18:39,312
That's how these charter holidays work.
434
00:18:39,312 --> 00:18:42,622
- Well I vote we all go to
Captain Peacock's Isle of Levant.
435
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:43,556
I wonder what the money we'll save,
436
00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:46,956
all we need is a pair of dark sunglasses.
437
00:18:46,956 --> 00:18:49,741
- Oh Mr. Lucas, you're
not expecting me to go
438
00:18:49,741 --> 00:18:53,228
walking along the beach
in my birthday suit.
439
00:18:53,228 --> 00:18:55,145
- Very dark sunglasses.
440
00:18:56,990 --> 00:18:59,686
- Well now, Mr. Grace
has given us the choice
441
00:18:59,686 --> 00:19:01,627
of five resorts.
442
00:19:01,627 --> 00:19:03,721
- Oh, and what are they?
443
00:19:03,721 --> 00:19:06,736
- Well I've had some slides prepared,
444
00:19:06,736 --> 00:19:08,550
so we can all have a look through them
445
00:19:08,550 --> 00:19:09,941
and then take a vote, if you'd like to
446
00:19:09,941 --> 00:19:11,673
assemble in the boardroom.
447
00:19:11,673 --> 00:19:12,625
- [All] The boardroom?
448
00:19:12,625 --> 00:19:14,625
- I've never been there.
449
00:19:23,629 --> 00:19:26,546
(knocking on door)
450
00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:32,112
- There's nobody here.
451
00:19:32,112 --> 00:19:33,612
We'd better go in.
452
00:19:42,398 --> 00:19:45,398
(audience laughing)
453
00:19:46,858 --> 00:19:49,561
- You know, this is a great moment for me.
454
00:19:49,561 --> 00:19:52,381
I've been 37 years at Grace Brothers,
455
00:19:52,381 --> 00:19:53,472
and this is the first time
456
00:19:53,472 --> 00:19:56,198
that I've been in the board room.
457
00:19:56,198 --> 00:19:58,793
- Oh look, they've got a cocktail cabinet.
458
00:19:58,793 --> 00:20:00,626
It's tough at the top.
459
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:03,433
And dry.
460
00:20:06,975 --> 00:20:08,851
- Buy Harrods, sell John Lewis's.
461
00:20:08,851 --> 00:20:10,171
(audience laughing)
462
00:20:10,171 --> 00:20:11,969
- Stop that, Lucas.
463
00:20:11,969 --> 00:20:14,118
- Cancel that order.
464
00:20:14,118 --> 00:20:17,128
- Why do you think he'd
have an old barrow in here?
465
00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:19,179
- Oh yes, that's the original barrow
466
00:20:19,179 --> 00:20:20,679
that young Mr. Grace used
467
00:20:20,679 --> 00:20:23,401
when he was selling
fish in the marketplace.
468
00:20:23,401 --> 00:20:25,454
- Mm, and the memory lingers on.
469
00:20:25,454 --> 00:20:27,111
(audience laughing)
470
00:20:27,111 --> 00:20:29,426
- Well now, let us all
seat ourselves, shall we?
471
00:20:29,426 --> 00:20:30,259
- Alright.
472
00:20:36,759 --> 00:20:40,533
- There's no need for us to
be overawed by the occasion.
473
00:20:40,533 --> 00:20:44,222
After all, boardrooms are the
same the whole world over.
474
00:20:44,222 --> 00:20:47,222
(telephone ringing)
475
00:20:56,096 --> 00:20:57,513
That's the phone.
476
00:20:59,121 --> 00:21:01,719
- Right first time, Captain Peacock.
477
00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:04,302
- It'll be somebody ringing up.
478
00:21:07,908 --> 00:21:10,353
- Don't you think you should answer it?
479
00:21:10,353 --> 00:21:13,353
- Well, it won't be for us, will it?
480
00:21:14,752 --> 00:21:18,255
- Perhaps it's Harrods ringing back.
481
00:21:18,255 --> 00:21:19,872
- Well somebody ought to answer it.
482
00:21:19,872 --> 00:21:20,985
I mean it's no good sitting here
483
00:21:20,985 --> 00:21:23,742
like a lot of stuffed dummies.
484
00:21:23,742 --> 00:21:27,291
- You've been here the longest Ernest.
485
00:21:27,291 --> 00:21:30,374
- Yes, but you're the senior, Steven.
486
00:21:31,327 --> 00:21:33,660
- Why don't you toss for it?
487
00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:38,863
- Hu Flungs Chinese Restaurant.
488
00:21:42,483 --> 00:21:43,657
Hang on.
489
00:21:43,657 --> 00:21:47,191
It's for you, Captain Peacock,
it's Rumbolt's secretary.
490
00:21:47,191 --> 00:21:49,028
- Hello, yes, what do you want?
491
00:21:49,028 --> 00:21:52,057
I can't hear you very well.
492
00:21:52,057 --> 00:21:55,595
- Stop playing with the
phone, Captain Peacock.
493
00:21:55,595 --> 00:21:57,579
- It's your secretary, sir.
494
00:21:57,579 --> 00:21:58,869
- And what does she want?
495
00:21:58,869 --> 00:22:00,731
- What do you want?
496
00:22:00,731 --> 00:22:04,281
Apparently you're on your
way up to the boardroom, sir.
497
00:22:04,281 --> 00:22:06,551
- But this is the boardroom.
498
00:22:06,551 --> 00:22:08,753
- That had occurred to me, sir.
499
00:22:08,753 --> 00:22:10,951
- Well then stop wasting time.
500
00:22:10,951 --> 00:22:14,153
- Mr. Rumbolt says stop wasting time.
501
00:22:14,153 --> 00:22:15,986
I couldn't agree more.
502
00:22:20,532 --> 00:22:23,652
- Well now, I have the slides here.
503
00:22:23,652 --> 00:22:25,701
So, we'll just run through
them and we can chose
504
00:22:25,701 --> 00:22:27,422
where to go by a show of hands.
505
00:22:27,422 --> 00:22:30,082
Mr. Mash, could you
reduce the lights please?
506
00:22:30,082 --> 00:22:32,729
- [Mr. Mash] Certainly, Mr. Rumbolt.
507
00:22:32,729 --> 00:22:36,896
- Now first, we have Torremolinos
in the Costa del Sol,
508
00:22:37,751 --> 00:22:40,151
which of course is in Spain.
509
00:22:40,151 --> 00:22:42,699
- [Mr. Mash] That's not bad, is it?
510
00:22:42,699 --> 00:22:44,981
- Golden sand, beaches lapped by the
511
00:22:44,981 --> 00:22:47,519
clear tepid waters of the Mediterranean,
512
00:22:47,519 --> 00:22:50,140
and in the background the
magnificent purple hills
513
00:22:50,140 --> 00:22:51,777
of the majestic sierra rise
514
00:22:51,777 --> 00:22:55,071
tier upon tier into the blue bright sky
515
00:22:55,071 --> 00:22:57,854
while nature deftly mixes semi-tropical
516
00:22:57,854 --> 00:23:02,021
multi-hued flowers and plants
in a carnival of color.
517
00:23:03,986 --> 00:23:05,653
- Sounds quite nice.
518
00:23:08,795 --> 00:23:13,260
- After dark, it vibrates to
the tune lively nightclubs
519
00:23:13,260 --> 00:23:15,710
and open air gay cafes.
520
00:23:15,710 --> 00:23:17,043
- Oh, I like it.
521
00:23:19,188 --> 00:23:22,732
- Activities include tennis and golf
522
00:23:22,732 --> 00:23:25,211
at the nearby Campo de Sport.
523
00:23:25,211 --> 00:23:27,044
- I like it even more.
524
00:23:28,328 --> 00:23:32,161
- This is the Hotel
Royale Meditterani Palace.
525
00:23:33,252 --> 00:23:34,085
- Indeed.
526
00:23:35,799 --> 00:23:38,549
- Extensively modernized in 1948,
527
00:23:39,587 --> 00:23:41,351
(audience laughing)
528
00:23:41,351 --> 00:23:43,833
it is now under the experienced management
529
00:23:43,833 --> 00:23:46,833
of friendly Don Pedro Alvarez Cohen.
530
00:23:51,609 --> 00:23:55,776
Situated a picturesque ten
minute amble from the sea,
531
00:23:56,784 --> 00:24:01,522
it features the sophisticated
Calypso Gourmet Grill
532
00:24:01,522 --> 00:24:03,022
and nightly bingo.
533
00:24:04,338 --> 00:24:06,760
- Nightly bingo is hardly my cup of tea.
534
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:08,915
- Nor mine, Steven.
535
00:24:08,915 --> 00:24:11,582
- Let's have a look at Portugal.
536
00:24:12,444 --> 00:24:14,776
- Monte Listerone.
537
00:24:14,776 --> 00:24:18,947
Once the playground of
the international set,
538
00:24:18,947 --> 00:24:22,712
home of deposed kings and the idle rich.
539
00:24:22,712 --> 00:24:24,880
- [Mr. Mash] Idle rich?
540
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,733
- [Mr. Rumbolt] Soft yellow,
pink, and green houses
541
00:24:27,733 --> 00:24:31,600
set off the grace of the old churches,
542
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:34,712
while above the mysterious cobbled lanes,
543
00:24:34,712 --> 00:24:38,045
lines of drying washing wave like flags.
544
00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:41,567
- Sounds like Accrington.
545
00:24:43,894 --> 00:24:47,632
- Only a short donkey
ride outside the town,
546
00:24:47,632 --> 00:24:51,049
we find the Hotel Tegas Excelsior Palace.
547
00:24:52,984 --> 00:24:56,067
To this very pleasant one star hotel,
548
00:24:57,110 --> 00:24:59,890
two further floors have been added
549
00:24:59,890 --> 00:25:02,406
which are not shown in the photograph.
550
00:25:02,406 --> 00:25:05,922
- You certainly have to use
your imagination, don't you?
551
00:25:05,922 --> 00:25:08,121
- The cocktail bar of the roof restaurant
552
00:25:08,121 --> 00:25:10,080
provides the ideal atmosphere for
553
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:12,261
a sophisticated tete-a-tete,
554
00:25:12,261 --> 00:25:14,607
and adjoins the children's paddling pool,
555
00:25:14,607 --> 00:25:18,592
rollerskating rink, hot
dog stand, and crazy golf.
556
00:25:18,592 --> 00:25:19,512
- Nothing that I like more than
557
00:25:19,512 --> 00:25:23,345
a tete-a-tete with a
golf ball and a cocktail.
558
00:25:24,393 --> 00:25:27,807
- Well at any rate, they don't have bingo.
559
00:25:27,807 --> 00:25:31,057
- Exactly how good is a one star hotel?
560
00:25:32,415 --> 00:25:34,981
- Can I put it to you
this way, Mrs. Sloakam?
561
00:25:34,981 --> 00:25:38,134
There is no such thing as a no star hotel.
562
00:25:38,134 --> 00:25:39,798
(audience laughing)
563
00:25:39,798 --> 00:25:44,143
- Let's take our magic carpet
to tantalizing Tunisia.
564
00:25:44,143 --> 00:25:46,893
This is the view from your hotel.
565
00:25:51,414 --> 00:25:55,838
Note the burnished sands,
the clear blue water
566
00:25:55,838 --> 00:25:58,029
is a mere 50 minutes away.
567
00:25:58,029 --> 00:25:58,862
- By jet?
568
00:26:00,573 --> 00:26:04,740
- The unspoilt coastline presents
a paradise of tranquility.
569
00:26:05,672 --> 00:26:08,672
Only 40 miles away is City Bel-Guli.
570
00:26:12,257 --> 00:26:15,643
Famous for it's pottery
and wrought-iron work,
571
00:26:15,643 --> 00:26:18,504
a much favored excursion point.
572
00:26:18,504 --> 00:26:20,718
- Well I'm not going to travel 40 miles
573
00:26:20,718 --> 00:26:23,885
in a smelly bus in order to see a pot.
574
00:26:25,799 --> 00:26:27,882
- Hotel Gaza Guli Palace.
575
00:26:30,058 --> 00:26:32,532
- You see him on the right?
576
00:26:32,532 --> 00:26:33,470
- [Mr. Lucas] What, you mean that fellow
577
00:26:33,470 --> 00:26:35,838
looks like Peter O'Toole?
578
00:26:35,838 --> 00:26:37,692
- See the sandals he's wearing?
579
00:26:37,692 --> 00:26:38,525
- Yeah.
580
00:26:38,525 --> 00:26:40,442
- They've got mendosis.
581
00:26:45,302 --> 00:26:47,141
- Belly dancing and sword swallowing
582
00:26:47,141 --> 00:26:48,960
are a nightly attraction for the diners
583
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,712
as they sit cross legged on their jiboes,
584
00:26:51,712 --> 00:26:53,962
toying with their couscous.
585
00:26:56,590 --> 00:26:59,894
I think a jiboe must be
some sort of cushion.
586
00:26:59,894 --> 00:27:01,385
- I was going to ask you about that.
587
00:27:01,385 --> 00:27:04,385
(audience laughing)
588
00:27:06,899 --> 00:27:10,072
- What exactly is a couscous?
589
00:27:10,072 --> 00:27:13,239
- It's an arabic sago-ey sort of dish.
590
00:27:14,454 --> 00:27:18,037
You eat if with the
cut off ear of a sheep.
591
00:27:20,050 --> 00:27:22,488
- Well I'm not sitting on my jiboe
592
00:27:22,488 --> 00:27:26,655
in a Foreign Legion fort,
toying with me couscous.
593
00:27:29,706 --> 00:27:32,289
Not even with a knife and fork.
594
00:27:34,004 --> 00:27:37,237
- I thought it sounded rather fun.
595
00:27:37,237 --> 00:27:38,620
- Lights, Mr. Mash.
596
00:27:38,620 --> 00:27:40,343
- Lights, Mr. Rumbolt.
597
00:27:40,343 --> 00:27:43,757
- Well, I'm afraid I must say Mr. Rumbolt,
598
00:27:43,757 --> 00:27:46,266
I find these places no substitute
599
00:27:46,266 --> 00:27:48,808
for a holiday in the Isle of Levant.
600
00:27:48,808 --> 00:27:51,187
- They're no substitute
for my holiday either.
601
00:27:51,187 --> 00:27:53,444
- Certainly not a substitute
for the Isle of Capri.
602
00:27:53,444 --> 00:27:57,611
- They're not even a substitute
for Mrs. Featherston's.
603
00:27:58,496 --> 00:28:00,112
- I'm sorry I'm late.
604
00:28:00,112 --> 00:28:02,779
- [All] Good evening, Mr. Grace.
605
00:28:05,674 --> 00:28:09,649
- It's nice to see so many
new faces on the board.
606
00:28:09,649 --> 00:28:12,886
(audience laughing)
607
00:28:12,886 --> 00:28:15,204
- This is not the board, Mr. Grace.
608
00:28:15,204 --> 00:28:17,908
- We've been discussing
your very generous offer
609
00:28:17,908 --> 00:28:20,402
of a package holiday.
610
00:28:20,402 --> 00:28:22,631
I'm sorry to have to inform
you that Captain Peacock
611
00:28:22,631 --> 00:28:25,084
has seen fit to turn it down flat.
612
00:28:25,084 --> 00:28:28,130
- I was only voicing the views
of my colleagues, Mr. Grace.
613
00:28:28,130 --> 00:28:32,341
- In that case, you'd
better have the money.
614
00:28:32,341 --> 00:28:35,038
I'll give you 50 pounds each,
615
00:28:35,038 --> 00:28:38,110
and you make your own arrangement.
616
00:28:38,110 --> 00:28:39,891
- That's better, isn't it?
617
00:28:39,891 --> 00:28:41,411
- I trust you're not
going to turn that down,
618
00:28:41,411 --> 00:28:42,646
Captain Peacock.
619
00:28:42,646 --> 00:28:47,432
- Certainly not sir, that
sounds most acceptable to me.
620
00:28:47,432 --> 00:28:48,709
- That's settled.
621
00:28:48,709 --> 00:28:49,999
- Thank you Mr. Grace.
622
00:28:49,999 --> 00:28:53,385
- Oh yes, there's just one thing.
623
00:28:53,385 --> 00:28:56,204
The decorators can't make August,
624
00:28:56,204 --> 00:29:00,371
so you'll have to take the
last two weeks in November.
625
00:29:01,666 --> 00:29:03,669
- [Mr. Mash] Last two weeks in November?
626
00:29:03,669 --> 00:29:05,927
- Where can you go in
November? It's out of season.
627
00:29:05,927 --> 00:29:07,390
- Oh no, it's alright.
628
00:29:07,390 --> 00:29:11,672
You can all come and stay
at Mrs. Featherston's.
629
00:29:11,672 --> 00:29:13,679
I have a photograph here.
630
00:29:13,679 --> 00:29:15,450
- Well, there's one consolation.
631
00:29:15,450 --> 00:29:16,635
If we all go to Mrs. Featherston's,
632
00:29:16,635 --> 00:29:19,428
we won't have to go 40
miles to find a pot there.
633
00:29:19,428 --> 00:29:22,428
(audience laughing)
634
00:29:25,358 --> 00:29:26,650
♫Ground floor perfumery,
635
00:29:26,650 --> 00:29:28,070
♫stationery and leather goods,
636
00:29:28,070 --> 00:29:29,484
♫wigs and haberdashery
637
00:29:29,484 --> 00:29:33,567
♫ kitchenware and food, going up
638
00:29:37,111 --> 00:29:38,294
♫ First floor telephones,
639
00:29:38,294 --> 00:29:39,888
♫ gents ready-made suits,
640
00:29:39,888 --> 00:29:41,347
♫ shirts, socks, ties, hats,
641
00:29:41,347 --> 00:29:45,347
♫ underwear and shoes, going up
642
00:29:48,420 --> 00:29:49,823
♫ Second floor carpets,
643
00:29:49,823 --> 00:29:51,242
♫ travel goods and bedding,
644
00:29:51,242 --> 00:29:52,996
♫ material, soft furnishings,
645
00:29:52,996 --> 00:29:54,212
♫ restaurant and teas
646
00:29:54,212 --> 00:29:56,712
♫ Going down!
47438
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