Original subtitles

We're doing season two, but without you two guys.

-What's your position? -January 4... Merry Christmas!

I think the broadcaster doesn't like us anymore.

I play a role as well.

I play a character named Marc Arcand.

Do you mind if we leave this suitcase

at your place for a while?

Santa Claus thinks you children are lucky.

Santa Claus didn't have a good father like you do.

Hi.

Happy new year!

Happy new year.

Can I come in?

Yes. Can you take off your shoes, please?

No.

That's right. I was in the area,

so I thought I'd come and wish you a happy new year,

before January 15, because after the 15th,

I don't do new year wishes anymore.

Thank you.

Don't you want to know what I did during the holidays?

OK... How was your holiday?

Pretty mellow. I was with my family.

I left on the 23rd

and celebrated Christmas at my sister's in Tremblant.

We had a big dinner, I went skiing with my nephews

and we went shopping for next year's Christmas decorations on Boxing Day.

And while I was shopping, I suddenly thought of you.

I know you love whisky,

so I found a wonderful bottle for you, my friend,

and it's 25 years old.

-Thank you, you shouldn't have... -Exactly.

Fuck! I had no idea!

I take a two-week vacation.

I leave Claudio here to deal with your problems as a writer

and what do I hear when I come back?

Claudio has been pummeled

and has been arrested for assault and abduction.

Do you even understand how bad this is for me?

Do I want to live through year 1996 all over again?

You weren't here in 96,

but believe me, you wouldn't want to live through it.

Santa Claus with nunchakus? What the hell?

Do you happen to know this guy?

No.

And why did you interfere with Charlene's job?

Why did you lie to her and told her I cancelled?

The client didn't seem trustworthy.

What gives you the right to decide if a client deserves a service or not?

No one speaks on my behalf.

-Get it? -Yes.

If it's going to be 1996 all over again,

at least, this time, we'll be ready.

You and Charlene, it's over.

I found another driver for her.

I know the Pretty Woman syndrome.

I have some news for you, buddy,

you're not Richard Gere,

and Charlene isn't Julia Roberts.

Answer your phone when I call,

I'm going to need you later.

You owe me a big favor.

Invigorated by the results of their new experiment

and the burst of energy coming from a last ditch effort,

Patrick and Denis took advantage of the holidays

to hurriedly write the first two episodes

for the second season of Justice's Law

in order to restore their wounded pride

and convince their producer to keep them on the payroll.

We have a secret to tell you.

I'm not sure I'm ready to hear a secret involving both of you.

We read your episode.

I read it yesterday. Maude read it this morning.

We couldn't wait anymore.

It was too much of a temptation.

I think it's excellent.

I read the whole thing in 15 minutes. I couldn't stop reading.

OK, great.

I thought the same thing. Well done.

Thank you. And you haven't read the first episode.

No, we haven't.

Break a leg.

Thank you.

The message is clear.

No, hold on. Let's deliver the episodes in person.

I want to see her face to face.

-You're early. -We couldn't wait.

We just love bad news.

Who's talking about bad news?

Open your envelopes.

"Carrefour de la pub closing night."

We're invited to the Carrefour de la pub closing night

because we're going to receive our first award!

What's the award?

It's a distinction for...

"The best product placement in a TV show."

-Is it an award or a distinction? -What's the difference?

You first said "award", now you say "distinction".

Award, distinction...

The critics pummeled us... We'll take it, whatever it is,

and we'll frame it.

You can't frame a distinction.

Unless it's written on some kind of certificate.

We'll accept it, whatever it is, no questions asked.

This type of accolade can only be good for season two.

So I assume we're still on to write season two.

Please, sit down.

Look, you wanted four synopses. We went further.

These are the screenplays for the first two episodes.

Complete with dialogue. We followed the direction we talked about,

but we added some super trippy elements

to develop Valerie's quest.

There are tons of plot twists. It's real, it's raw.

-We're super happy. -Yes.

OK, sit down, please.

The Carrefour de la pub, for me,

is a great way to celebrate the excellent work

you've done in season one.

Unfortunately, I can't keep you on for season two.

Patrick, we have no reason to stay here.

No, Denis, sit down. I'm not done.

When I say that I can't keep you on,

I mean that I can't keep both of you,

but for the sake of the show,

in order to ensure some continuity tone-wise,

I convinced the broadcaster to...

-To... -To keep Denis as a writer.

Did the broadcaster ask you to fire me?

-No, I'm the one who chose Denis. -Why Denis?

Because he's better.

I'm not arguing, you are a better writer,

but Lea sleeps with the broadcaster,

and that could explain why I'm fired.

Louise said it wasn't the case.

But that must be the reason why.

What would you do if you were me?

I don't know...

Follow your instinct.

You have a family. Responsibilities.

I don't know.

No.

We have a reliable writing method, some great ideas,

we just need to find another producer and to start a new series.

You're my partner. I'm not going to let you down.

Wait for me here, I'll get my hat,

I'll say no to Louise and I'll buy you a beer.

Lea...

Lea, hold on! No, wait!

Just two minutes... I don't want to talk to you,

I want you to deliver a message to your boyfriend.

Give this to him, and tell him I have a duplicate.

If he wants to destroy my life, I can destroy his as well.

Deliver your messages yourself. I'm in a hurry, I have a meeting.

What are you doing here? We can't hang out.

Bruno said I couldn't be your driver.

He didn't say I couldn't be your client.

Do you have time? I just went to the ATM.

-Are you nervous? -Not too bad.

Since you know each other,

the introduction will be very short,

but let's be formal for a moment.

Lea is a brilliant writer

and her first novel The Birthright's Distress

literally blew me away.

She's also a budding screenwriter with a very bright future.

She will be a wonderful match

to your amazing talent.

Lea, this is your co-writer, Denis. You already know each other.

Patrick?

Patrick Bouchard? Detective Pérez, Montréal PD.

We met before Christmas.

can I ask you a few questions?

Yes.

Nothing complicated, don't worry.

May I come in?

Yes, of course.

-Sorry, I'm not dressed. -No problem.

Your attitude was a little strange, last time,

in the interrogation room.

You stubbornly refused to identify yourself.

We did identify ourselves in the end.

Yes, in the end. Do you know this man.

No, sorry.

Look... I don't remember this.

Are you all right, Patrick?

-Yes, I'm all right. -Do you have any problems?

With some people maybe...

No.

I don't have any problem.

You know, I'm just doing my job.

If you want to help me,

you can call me anytime.

In the daytime, if possible.

I know you have some legal issues to deal with.

These little problems could easily go away if you cooperate.

Happy new year, Patrick.

Good health and success.

Same to you.

You can take a look,

these are my notes for all the season one episodes.

I had fun tracking your mistakes, your blunders...

I just want to make sure we don't repeat them.

Are you OK?

Yes, I am.

OK, because you don't need to worry. Everything's all right.

I also wanted to tell you

that you're very different from the Denis portrayed by Patrick.

How does Denis portray me?

I don't know...

Someone uncompromising who doesn't listen very well.

I was surprised to hear you accepted to work with me.

I don't know. I have a kid, responsibilities.

And some talent.

It's all there in front of me!

-Sir? -I have an appointment with your boss.

He's expecting me. Don't bother.

Did you read The Birthright's Distress?

No.

It's a powerful dive into the female psyche,

and that's actually what's missing in Valerie's character.

-A psyche? -Some depth, some flesh and blood...

Let's take a dive.

Let's dive deep into her in order to find her.

We're going to dive into Valerie?

The keyword for Valerie: psyche.

If we unlock that, we unlock the whole character.

Sir!

Sir!

It's OK, ma'am, I'm leaving. Thank you.

I think we'll find a lonely woman,

and she'll have to confront her sister Sara

to address once and for all her ambiguous sexuality,

and ultimately, her very own identity.

But Sara is dead.

Yes, but she's still around.

Dead people are never completely gone.

Do you mean she's like a ghost?

It's all very metaphorical.

Too bad you didn't read the book.

-Yes, it's too bad. -I'll bring you a copy.

Yay! Perfect!

Where were we at?

That's right, I wanted to talk about episode seven...

Hi, it's me!

I just want to tell you

how much I appreciate what you did for me yesterday.

I'm going back to the bar,

so if you want to drop by.

it would be cool to pick up where we left off last night.

Talk to you later.

Thanks once again.

-Congratulations! -What are you doing here?

I called Louise, she said you still have a job.

-You called Louise? -I just wanted to be sure.

Yes. OK, go away!

I mean, leave us alone, we need to work.

I won't get in the way. I'll let the artists create.

Mathieu, two beers, please.

Did you tell him we got fired?

I haven't found the courage yet.

You're afraid he might bust out his nunchakus and a Santa Claus outfit?

I just have to find the right moment. That's not always easy,

finding the right moment...

to finally say what's going on.

I can't wait to drink this beer.

Thank you.

I need to get out of here!

I have some work to do at home.

You're not the only ones working on this series.

I'm really proud to be a source of inspiration.

I am his muse. He's nothing without me.

You know what? Just looking at this beer make me sick.

I think I'm out of here too.

I'll see you at the gala tomorrow anyway.

OK.

Bruno, I just want to tell you

that I just saw Santa Claus and his reindeers.

I should be able to give you his exact address in 15 minutes.

-Are you OK? -Yes.

Have you been waiting long?

I don't know, maybe half an hour.

OK, it's all right. Follow me!

Here!

I'm sorry, I was with the writers.

They've got some fucking good ideas!

I see, you were with the writers...

My job is to make sure that you convey these ideas.

Take your top off.

OK... Why?

I like being topless at home.

You're here to immerse yourself in me,

so follow my lead, take off your shirt.

-Hello? -Denis Rondeau, please.

Speaking.

-Do you recognize my voice? -Yes...

Look, I'm in a meeting right now,

but I need you to meet me.

It's a major emergency.

Actually, I was just about to go home.

2537, Sherbrooke Ouest.

If you don't come, I'll fire you as well.

Everything worked out after all...

Your babysitter finally showed up?

The joys of working on Friday night!

It's really funny.

I was sitting with Lea, and suddenly, my wife Laurence showed up.

How random, right?

I was telling her that we were waiting for you

because your babysitter was late.

But those things happen!

Your babysitter is young. How old is she?

She's 16, I think. 15, maybe.

I'm glad it's all under control. Please, sit down.

-OK. Good evening. -Hi.

-Hi, Lea. -Hello.

Of course, we invited Laurence to join us.

Do you mind?

Should it just be the three of us so we can focus on work?

No, I don't mind at all.

You're just going to leave so we can focus on work?

No, I'm just going to the bathroom.

OK, great.

Wrong answer.

You were supposed to say:

"Yes, I do mind. Let's just focus on work."

No, it's perfectly fine.

We're going to eat, it'll be nice,

and you can go home with your wife.

It's not a problem. Thank you, Denis.

Lea... The room is reserved.

I want you.

You're a screenwriter, aren't you?

Find a solution. What do we do?

OK, lower your hand.

Palm facing down, downwards, keep the handle level.

OK, great, the other stick

needs to go around your hand

and then you catch it from under. Go ahead.

Like that. There you go. Ouch! Fuck!

It's OK. Take it...

You got it. Do it again.

I just wanted to check...

Nothing heavy handed, right?

Right now, we're not talking. We're waiting.

What's wrong with her exactly?

I'm not an expert,

but she said it was maybe something in the colon.

She says hello by the way.

-And where is he? I can't see him. -No, you can't,

he's all the way over there, in the hotel lobby.

It must be a difficult conversation.

Is the person who died Gilles' sister?

No, it a friend of Gilles' sister.

I know Gilles pretty well, he's a good friend.

It's not Gilles' sister, but an acquaintance of Gilles'.

It's not that big of a deal, you might not even hear about it,

but it's still important.

Their conversation might last

roughly 20 minutes, 30 minutes tops.

So tell me about yourself. I thought we were focusing on you.

We can give it break.

-Do you like being an actor? -Very much so.

Can you make funny faces?

Yes, I can make quite a few.

Are you more the Actors Studio type?

Or are you more clown-like?

-I am more the Actors Studio type. -Damn. Perfect.

It won't be long.

I don't know what you're doing, but I have a girlfriend...

It doesn't matter.

A rapist doesn't care about your sexual preferences.

Right...

You can't be Marc Arcand

without experiencing what Marc Arcand went through

before he became Marc Arcand, OK?

-No! -So get into your character...

No! I'm serious. Stop it!

-Feel my ass. -Stop it, no!

Let me go!

I'm your father. I just want what's best for you.

It won't be long.

Spread!

I'm sorry, are you OK?

-Yes... -Are you sure?

-Yes... -OK, take your stuff,

stand up, let's go. I'm really sorry, OK?

This series is really dear to my heart,

so I go overboard sometimes.

Come on, hurry up.

Hello?

Is your ninja planning on staying here long...

He'll stay as long as he needs to.

I have the right to help my friends as well.

At least Maude doesn't spend 90 minutes in the toilet.

No, but maybe she should sometimes.

Look.

I want to look great for my award winner tonight.

As long as you don't bring Maude, we'll be fine.

Denis?

What's this crap about?

They fired your buddy to replace him with that?

-Have you read it? -The Birthright's Distress.

How does it work? She's not even the firstborn in her family!

-OK, so it sucks? -Yes.

How can she help you write the Marc Arcand Redemption?

I'll come across as a madman.

There's a 15-page conversation about ancestral gene splicing

between her and her mom.

I'm sure it's not a ghost.

It must be some type of metaphor.

Can a metaphor be transparent and sit on a rocking chair?

-No. -Then it's a ghost.

What's "ancestral gene splicing"? I don't know. Any idea?

No, I don't know.

It's totally stupid. I read it.

Moody Maude... Are you done with the basement?

I'd like to train for a couple hours.

No problem, but don't climb on my bed this time.

Girls... Would you like some jewelry?

Put that away!

-Do you have my sticks? -In my coat.

Hi, Lea, it's your partner Denis Rondeau.

I just finished reading your novel.

It's really excellent.

I think you're right.

We should include parts of your novel in our screenplay.

Especially the section about ancestral gene splicing.

It's really beautiful.

Look, we'll talk more later.

No, it's all right, Ricky. He's a friend. Relax.

He's your new driver?

He looks like Steven Seagal...

-but dirtier. -Patrick, I don't have time for you.

My pussy's on fire, I just need a shower.

Did you get my message?

Yes, I'm not sure about going to a gala.

Come up with a price. I'll pay double

and I'll buy you drinks.

Hold on, OK?

Hello?

Am I bothering you? What are you doing?

I'm walking.

I need you tonight. 8:00 pm.

You'll meet us at the office.

I can't tonight.

It's a special night. I won a...

That's your problem, not mine...

Don't ever lie to me again.

I'm not lying to you.

You're not taking a walk.

You're with Charlene.

8:00 pm.

It won't be long. We'll be done early.

No, it's all right. I've made some plans.

-Are you OK? Your tone sounds weird. -I'm doing great.

I hope you have a great evening with your man.

Look, I'll be out late,

I might crash at a girl friend's place.

-You can sleep wherever you want. -Great.

What's going on?

Nothing.

What do you think?

Gorgeous.

But if Maude's gone, who will babysit Juliette?

We can ask Marc.

No, we can't.

Yes, we can. They get along great.

All right, Charlene, Judith, Denis. Denis, Judith, Charlene.

-Hi. -Good evening.

Hi.

Look, you can watch, but don't panic,

the little guy's going inside. He's going to see the dead girl.

Why does he see dead people?

That's why the movie is not so great. They don't say it.

Do you see Bruce Willis? He's dead too.

But we just find out at the end.

Dorothee knew it.

Really? Your doll is quite smart.

Very. She knows a lot of things.

I'm going to make some popcorn. Do you want some?

I want a lot of butter.

No problem!

Juju? Sweet Juju...

Do you want to play the Inuit game?

You dress up as if we were going to the North Pole?

This is our next category:

Best placement for a pharmaceutical product.

The nominees...

From the Squiddly Diddly agency, the "little healthy advices".

It looks like things are going great between you and Judith.

Yes, I think show business turns her on.

-And from the Courtier-Porter agency... -Things are going good for you.

You won an award, you're back with your girl,

you're writing season two with my ex...

Juju, do you have a favorite CD?

Yes.

Can you put it in the stereo?

I just did.

Do it quickly.

It's going to be OK. You can see me.

OK, wait for me in the bedroom.

Don't go anywhere until you see me.

We'll pretend there's a snowstorm

and I'm trying to find you.

Let's go!

I am the first one, the last one

The fire and the ice, my heart is made of stone

In my dreams, you don't exist, ah, ah, ah

you don't exist, ah, ah, ah

I am a mystery, a loner, stronger than three

What the hell?

But never for you, ah, ah, ah

But never for you, ah, ah, ah

Nothing can tear me apart Nothing can beat me

I'm running the show

I'm calling all the shots, ah, ah, ah

Nothing gets by me, ah, ah, ah

I'm aware...

Here! He escaped through the back door!

Thank you.

The time has come to award the TV show

that has best represented our great industry this year.

It's not a distinction, it's an award.

For the best product placement in a TV series,

this year's award goes to Justice's Law.

Get me some cellophane, we're going to suffocate him!

If we get rid of the court clerk, it will be part of the trial.

Don't worry, I planned every detail.

We can't use this!

It's a generic brand, it's cheap, it's going to tear.

Don't they have some Great-Wrap here?

No, that's all there is!

Then find me a garbage bag!

-A garbage bag? -A strong one!

-How is Sani-Glade? -Perfect!

Mom!

I am sorry to spoil your fancy party.

Don't ask any questions, take Juju and get out of here.

-What are you doing here? -We're in deep shit!

Don't go back home.

Go to your mom's, or anywhere,

but don't go back home.

-What is he doing here? -He was babysitting Juliette.

-At your place? -Yes.

Oh, shit.

I won't let my sister Sara's murderer...

Do what he says. Take Juliette and get out of here.

She needs to go.

Go to your Mom's place, I'll call you later.

Exit through the back.

You know I love you, Valerie.

What the fuck is he doing here?

OK, we have to go too.

So I'm asking the producer

of Justice's Law, Louise Talbot,

as well as the two writers,

Denis Rondeau and Patrick Bouchard

to join me on stage.

Come on.

What?

Thank you so much...

Look, Justice's Law

would be nothing without teamwork,

so I'd like to thank our two writers.

They have done a wonderful job

at placing these products.

Thank you so much, you guys, for your talent

and... for placing these products.

Thank you, good night.

Good night, everyone!

I just wanted to say

that I can't wait for season two. It's going to the next level.

And I want to say hello to my brother right over there.

He's been my source of inspiration.

He had cancer, and now he's cured.

Please stand up and applaud his courage.

OK, let's get the hell out of here.

Can someone tell me what's going on?

You reap what you sow.

What are you talking about?

If you hadn't betrayed me, none of this would have happened.

I didn't betray you!

I have a plan to get your job back.

I'm scheming from within. Of course, that never came to your mind,

you second rate Michael Corleone...

-And what's your plan? -I'm working on it.

Right...

-I've got some ideas. -It's thanks to your impersonation

of Kung-fu Santa Claus that we're in this shit!

I do this to get ideas for my character.

Your character? That's enough!

Let's talk about it.

-Shut up. -You don't have a character.

-It's not true! Don't listen to him! -There is no Marc Arcand in season two.

Your role in this show will be limited

to the special thanks section, at the end of the credits.

That's your character, right there!

Is it true, Denis?

Season two isn't going to be the Marc Arcand Redemption?

-Stop the car. -Look, Marc...

Stop the car!

Well done.

Thank you.

I hate you.

So do I.

The only news I have comes from Ricky.

Everyone's freaking out.

-What about our meeting? -There is no meeting.

The clinic is closed for a week.

Can we send an email or something?

We're just screenwriters. We have nothing to do with Marc Arcand.

-We are the victims! -Can we go home at least?