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1
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:01,300
SABRINA:
Jimmy.
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00:00:01,568 --> 00:00:02,935
VIRGINIA:
Jimmy, wake up, sweetie.
3
00:00:04,703 --> 00:00:05,736
Jimmy!
4
00:00:07,072 --> 00:00:08,639
JIMMY:
What happened?
5
00:00:08,707 --> 00:00:10,040
I don't remember anything.
6
00:00:10,108 --> 00:00:11,909
We were watching TV
and you fainted.
7
00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:13,677
Welcome back to Inside Probe.
8
00:00:13,745 --> 00:00:15,629
We looked at a small town
9
00:00:15,714 --> 00:00:19,316
in the grips of a serial killer
named Lucy Carlyle.
10
00:00:19,384 --> 00:00:20,501
JIMMY:
Oh, yeah.
11
00:00:20,585 --> 00:00:22,452
We were watching Inside Probe.
12
00:00:22,504 --> 00:00:23,721
I remember that.
13
00:00:23,788 --> 00:00:25,956
We got to know the simple family
14
00:00:26,007 --> 00:00:27,925
who brought her down.
15
00:00:27,976 --> 00:00:29,126
This is familiar.
16
00:00:29,177 --> 00:00:30,494
I-I remember that.
17
00:00:30,562 --> 00:00:32,813
But not before the son,
Jimmy Chance,
18
00:00:32,898 --> 00:00:34,431
got her pregnant.
19
00:00:34,483 --> 00:00:36,317
Lucy was tried and convicted.
20
00:00:36,401 --> 00:00:38,853
There was even
a jailhouse wedding.
21
00:00:38,937 --> 00:00:40,571
Okay. Yep, it's all
coming back to me.
22
00:00:40,638 --> 00:00:41,822
I remember that.
23
00:00:41,907 --> 00:00:44,641
And we showed you
the incredible news...
24
00:00:44,693 --> 00:00:48,746
Lucy was somehow not executed.
25
00:00:48,813 --> 00:00:50,181
I'm alive!
26
00:00:54,503 --> 00:00:56,353
I don't think
he remembered that.
27
00:00:56,421 --> 00:00:58,322
Whoo!
28
00:00:58,390 --> 00:00:59,773
Here we go
29
00:00:59,841 --> 00:01:02,610
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
30
00:01:02,635 --> 00:01:05,035
Sync & corrections by into-the-light
www.addic7ed.com
31
00:01:05,036 --> 00:01:07,081
What is this on my head?
32
00:01:07,165 --> 00:01:08,365
Maw Maw's hemorrhoid pillow.
33
00:01:08,417 --> 00:01:10,284
You keep banging your
head on the floor.
34
00:01:10,368 --> 00:01:11,869
Lucy's alive.
Deal with it.
35
00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:15,256
So, you're a scumbag
who murdered your boyfriends
36
00:01:15,340 --> 00:01:17,875
and the good people of
America found you guilty.
37
00:01:17,926 --> 00:01:21,562
And yet you survived execution.
38
00:01:21,630 --> 00:01:22,880
What was that like?
39
00:01:22,931 --> 00:01:24,014
It was pretty wild, Nancy.
40
00:01:24,082 --> 00:01:26,517
Pretty (bleep) wild.
41
00:01:26,584 --> 00:01:28,636
LUCY: I was nervous becausethings didn't look good.
42
00:01:34,392 --> 00:01:35,976
The next thing I knew,
43
00:01:36,061 --> 00:01:38,762
I was being drawnto this light at the end
44
00:01:38,830 --> 00:01:41,532
of a very long hallway.
45
00:01:41,599 --> 00:01:43,317
It was just like you seein those
46
00:01:43,401 --> 00:01:45,319
news magazine showreenactments.
47
00:01:45,403 --> 00:01:47,738
Oh, and there's this faint
whiff of lavender in the air.
48
00:01:47,789 --> 00:01:50,558
Love lavender. Got a candle
in my office. Go ahead
49
00:01:50,625 --> 00:01:52,576
Well, I got to the light
50
00:01:52,627 --> 00:01:55,312
and he appeared.
51
00:01:56,715 --> 00:01:58,165
Hello, Lucy.
52
00:01:58,250 --> 00:01:59,717
She got to meet Ed Begley Jr.?
53
00:01:59,784 --> 00:02:01,919
I hate her. I hate her so much.
54
00:02:01,970 --> 00:02:03,337
You are not welcome here.
55
00:02:06,641 --> 00:02:08,342
Hop on, sugar boobs.
56
00:02:08,426 --> 00:02:10,127
We've been waiting for you.
57
00:02:12,397 --> 00:02:13,964
I ran as fast as I could.
58
00:02:14,015 --> 00:02:15,182
(laughing)
59
00:02:18,820 --> 00:02:20,488
And the next thing I knew,
60
00:02:20,572 --> 00:02:21,522
I was back.
61
00:02:21,606 --> 00:02:24,475
GUARD:
Oh! Oh, oh!
62
00:02:24,543 --> 00:02:27,261
Well, needless to say,
everyone was a little shocked.
63
00:02:27,329 --> 00:02:30,231
I don't mean shocked like...
(imitating electric current)
64
00:02:30,298 --> 00:02:33,033
I mean shocked like, like
surprised... (gasps)
65
00:02:33,118 --> 00:02:34,952
I mean, she was "shocked."
66
00:02:35,003 --> 00:02:35,986
W-We were surprised.
67
00:02:36,037 --> 00:02:37,821
(laughs)
68
00:02:37,873 --> 00:02:39,590
Anywho.
69
00:02:39,657 --> 00:02:41,759
We didn't handle it very well.
70
00:02:41,826 --> 00:02:43,060
NANCY GRACE:
Fueled by fear,
71
00:02:43,128 --> 00:02:45,763
the guards gave Carlylea beating
72
00:02:45,830 --> 00:02:49,216
that no decent human beingcould feel was justified.
73
00:02:49,301 --> 00:02:51,185
Kick her ass! Yes!
Harder!
74
00:02:51,269 --> 00:02:53,220
In the head! In the head!
Come on! (laughs)
75
00:02:53,305 --> 00:02:57,007
Back from the dead
and brutalized by prison guards,
76
00:02:57,075 --> 00:03:00,144
the scumbag serial killer
lawyered up.
77
00:03:00,195 --> 00:03:02,512
And who betterto represent a scumbag
78
00:03:02,564 --> 00:03:05,149
than this skid markof a bleeding heart
79
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:08,068
defense lawyer, Sylvia Barnes.
80
00:03:08,153 --> 00:03:10,955
Well, here we
are again, Sylvia.
81
00:03:11,022 --> 00:03:12,239
That's an ugly scarf.
82
00:03:12,324 --> 00:03:13,857
Anyway, this was
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00:03:13,909 --> 00:03:16,710
a dream case: a beautiful
client, abuse of power,
84
00:03:16,795 --> 00:03:19,496
and a defendant with pockets
deep enough to pay for
85
00:03:19,548 --> 00:03:21,916
my experimental
foot reduction surgery.
86
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,969
You did have some fat,
old sidewalk slappers, sister.
87
00:03:25,036 --> 00:03:26,703
Guilty.
88
00:03:26,755 --> 00:03:28,923
The state screwed up
and wanted to cover it.
89
00:03:29,007 --> 00:03:30,674
So they dropped all charges
90
00:03:30,725 --> 00:03:34,011
and cut Lucy Carlyle
a fat check.
91
00:03:36,815 --> 00:03:38,399
But she's been gone two years.
92
00:03:38,483 --> 00:03:40,267
W-Where's she been?
Shh!
93
00:03:40,352 --> 00:03:41,936
Nancy will get it out of her.
94
00:03:42,020 --> 00:03:44,238
So it's been two years. Where you been?
Well, the last thing
95
00:03:44,322 --> 00:03:46,023
I wanted to do
is stick around town
96
00:03:46,074 --> 00:03:48,558
where everyone would look at me
like I was a serial killer.
97
00:03:48,610 --> 00:03:50,444
And after almost going to Hell,
98
00:03:50,528 --> 00:03:53,497
I decided I probably needed
a little spiritual guidance.
99
00:03:53,564 --> 00:03:55,833
Ed Begley Jr. gave me
a second chance and...
100
00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:58,135
I wanted to make the most of it.
101
00:03:58,203 --> 00:04:00,654
NANCY GRACE: So Lucy Carlyle'sodyssey of faith
102
00:04:00,722 --> 00:04:03,340
brought her to these men.
103
00:04:03,408 --> 00:04:06,877
These monks taught herto love rather than hate,
104
00:04:06,928 --> 00:04:07,878
much like TV's Monk
105
00:04:07,929 --> 00:04:10,347
taught America to laugh.
106
00:04:10,415 --> 00:04:13,601
We miss you Tony Shalhoub,
you were a treasure.
107
00:04:13,685 --> 00:04:16,120
But something was missing
in her life
108
00:04:16,187 --> 00:04:20,641
and no amount of meditationand tofu could fill it.
109
00:04:20,725 --> 00:04:22,526
But now you're going back
to Natesville
110
00:04:22,593 --> 00:04:25,562
where you have some unfinished
business to take care of.
111
00:04:25,614 --> 00:04:27,364
That's right, Nancy.
112
00:04:27,432 --> 00:04:30,100
I'm gonna fight
for custody of my daughter.
113
00:04:31,936 --> 00:04:33,988
Son of a bitch.
114
00:04:34,072 --> 00:04:36,273
He popped my ass pillow.
115
00:04:40,196 --> 00:04:41,697
{pub}A serial killer
suing for custody?
116
00:04:41,764 --> 00:04:43,282
It's a joke, right?
117
00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:44,599
I wish it were.
118
00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:47,152
But Lucy's lawyer doesn't joke.
119
00:04:47,237 --> 00:04:48,320
I know,
120
00:04:48,405 --> 00:04:50,939
I dated Sylvia Barnes
in law school.
121
00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:52,708
I lost her respect
in the bedroom
122
00:04:52,775 --> 00:04:54,410
by trying a few things
123
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,578
that I should have asked
permission for first.
124
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:59,164
I'm not gonna lose her
respect in the courtroom.
125
00:04:59,249 --> 00:05:01,133
But you're the only lawyer
we can afford.
126
00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:03,118
Most attorneys don't list
their hourly fees
127
00:05:03,169 --> 00:05:05,004
with "or best offer"
next to it.
128
00:05:05,088 --> 00:05:07,139
And there's a reason I do that.
129
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:08,457
I'm a terrible lawyer.
130
00:05:08,508 --> 00:05:10,175
I make most of my money
131
00:05:10,260 --> 00:05:13,762
selling antioxidant
super juices.
132
00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:15,180
Which, by the way,
are guaranteed
133
00:05:15,265 --> 00:05:17,433
to improve your health.
134
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,818
Doctors proved that...
with science.
135
00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:21,303
We don't need any juice,
136
00:05:21,354 --> 00:05:23,188
we need a lawyer.
I agree.
137
00:05:23,273 --> 00:05:24,940
You don't need any juice.
138
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:27,159
But this isn't just any juice.
139
00:05:27,243 --> 00:05:29,278
Wally, she's a serial killer.
140
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,913
This is a slam dunk.
141
00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:32,647
And this is your chance
to finally beat
142
00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:34,116
a famous ex-girlfriend.
143
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,368
Once she sees what a man
you are in the courtroom,
144
00:05:36,453 --> 00:05:37,986
maybe she'll give you
another shot in the bedroom.
145
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,922
All right. I'll do it.
146
00:05:39,989 --> 00:05:40,989
(quiet laugh)
147
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:42,491
Let's celebrate...
148
00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:47,662
with a couple of glasses
of liquid healthiness.
149
00:05:47,714 --> 00:05:49,031
We're not paying
for that juice.
150
00:05:56,973 --> 00:05:58,507
Got my courtroom outfit down.
151
00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:01,193
Maw Maw bought this
to be buried in.
152
00:06:01,277 --> 00:06:03,645
I don't think she expected
to be living past the '80s.
153
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,197
I like it.
154
00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:06,532
You look like the hooker
from Pretty Woman
155
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:07,783
but in the movie
where she's a lawyer, so...
156
00:06:07,850 --> 00:06:09,368
(doorbell rings)
157
00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:15,374
What the hell are you doing
here, you crazy lunatic!
158
00:06:16,659 --> 00:06:17,710
If you're here to kill someone,
159
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:19,044
I'm ready to go.
160
00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:21,914
I wanted to see if
we could talk and...
161
00:06:21,998 --> 00:06:23,698
maybe avoid
the craziness of court.
162
00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:25,501
See if there's another way
163
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,503
to deal with
Princess Beyonce's custody.
164
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:28,754
Her name is Hope.
165
00:06:28,838 --> 00:06:29,888
Aw, aren't we adorable,
166
00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:31,640
arguing like a married couple?
167
00:06:31,707 --> 00:06:33,041
Maybe that's because,
technically,
168
00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:35,177
we are still a married couple.
169
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,878
Till death do us part.
170
00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:38,731
And I didn't die.
171
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,933
Can you still say
that Iranian guy's name?
172
00:06:41,017 --> 00:06:42,935
Mama Ramabadmamajama...
173
00:06:43,019 --> 00:06:44,553
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
174
00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:47,156
2,000 volts through her skull,
she's still got it.
175
00:06:47,223 --> 00:06:48,824
Anyway, here's my plan:
176
00:06:48,891 --> 00:06:52,528
You and Hope come
with me to Tibet.
177
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:53,946
Excuse me!
178
00:06:54,030 --> 00:06:55,247
He has a girlfriend.
179
00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:57,282
I'm talking
to my husband, bitch!
180
00:06:57,367 --> 00:06:58,567
Well, you want to...
Easy!
181
00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:00,335
She's a murderer
and you weigh 60 lbs.
182
00:07:00,403 --> 00:07:01,420
Are you stupid?
183
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:02,955
My daughter and I,
we're not moving
184
00:07:03,039 --> 00:07:04,239
halfway across
the country, to Tibet,
185
00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:06,008
to live with a serial killer.
186
00:07:06,075 --> 00:07:07,426
I was in a marching band
187
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,878
that went all the way
to the state championships,
188
00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:12,181
but all you can see
is a serial killer.
189
00:07:12,248 --> 00:07:15,417
Yeah, well, murdering three men
kind of trumps a flute solo.
190
00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:17,302
Well, you know what? You're
never gonna see me again.
191
00:07:17,387 --> 00:07:19,438
'Cause I'm taking
my daughter to Tibet,
192
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:22,257
where people are spiritually
evolved, bitches.
193
00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:24,226
Namaste.
194
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,432
What the hell is "Namaste"?
195
00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:32,568
Sounds like some
kind of fancy pepper.
196
00:07:32,635 --> 00:07:33,986
Why would she say "pepper"?
197
00:07:34,070 --> 00:07:35,204
I don't know, Jimmy.
198
00:07:35,271 --> 00:07:36,555
She's nuts.
199
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:37,739
This shouldn't take long.
200
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,241
Once the jury finds out
what she did,
201
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,626
we'll be out of here by lunch.
202
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,661
That should leave time for you
to stop on the third floor
203
00:07:42,745 --> 00:07:43,629
and get a quickie divorce.
204
00:07:47,083 --> 00:07:49,251
You made a big
mistake leaving me.
205
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,719
Admit it.
206
00:07:50,786 --> 00:07:52,471
Our time together
was the highlight
207
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:54,223
of your life, baby.
208
00:07:54,290 --> 00:07:55,808
Did we go out or something?
209
00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:56,925
Twice.
210
00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:58,894
I took you to a
Journey concert.
211
00:07:58,961 --> 00:08:00,395
You let me sit up
on your shoulders.
212
00:08:01,598 --> 00:08:04,132
I used to look like this.
213
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,935
Doesn't ring a bell.
214
00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:08,687
Well, I'm not gonna lie.
215
00:08:08,771 --> 00:08:10,072
That stings.
216
00:08:10,139 --> 00:08:12,357
Are we Quakers
now or something?
217
00:08:12,442 --> 00:08:14,860
Why the hell
does this church have no music!
218
00:08:14,944 --> 00:08:16,161
(gavel banging)
219
00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:17,946
Does counsel have
any motions to bring
220
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:20,215
before I call in the jury
and start the trial?
221
00:08:20,283 --> 00:08:22,084
Motion to suppress evidence
222
00:08:22,151 --> 00:08:24,920
of my client as
a serial killer.
223
00:08:24,987 --> 00:08:26,371
SYLVIA: The charges were
officially dropped
224
00:08:26,456 --> 00:08:28,423
as part of our lawsuit
against the prison,
225
00:08:28,491 --> 00:08:31,159
so she cannot be characterized
226
00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:34,012
by crimes that technically
never happened.
227
00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:37,332
That's stratospherically
illogical and I don't like it.
228
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:38,550
JUDGE:
But it's legally sound.
229
00:08:38,635 --> 00:08:40,369
Motion upheld.
230
00:08:40,436 --> 00:08:41,836
JUDGE:
There may be no mention
231
00:08:41,888 --> 00:08:43,838
of Ms. Carlyle's
string of cruel,
232
00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:45,607
heinous murders.
233
00:08:45,675 --> 00:08:47,643
Yeah, b-b-but she killed
a bunch of people!
234
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:49,561
Your Honor, he mentioned
the heinous murders
235
00:08:49,646 --> 00:08:50,812
and you told him not to.
236
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,281
Strike that from the record.
237
00:08:52,348 --> 00:08:55,016
Unreal. I can't believe this is happening.
Relax.
238
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:56,952
We're still gonna beat these jerks,
right, Wally?
239
00:08:57,019 --> 00:08:58,353
It's a small town.
240
00:08:58,404 --> 00:08:59,854
There's not
a juror around who's
241
00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:01,189
not gonna remember her face
242
00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:02,741
from the Boyfriend
Killer trial.
243
00:09:02,825 --> 00:09:06,194
I mean, you'd have to be living
under a rock this whole time.
244
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:07,379
What?
245
00:09:09,365 --> 00:09:11,366
It's the Natesville Dozen.
246
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:16,305
The miners who were
trapped for six months?
247
00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:20,926
You picked 12 men
who were literally
248
00:09:21,010 --> 00:09:25,880
living under a rock
during Lucy's trial?
249
00:09:25,932 --> 00:09:27,232
I didn't pick them.
250
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:30,719
I thought the gentlemanly
thing to do
251
00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:33,138
was to let the lady
select the jurors.
252
00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:34,489
They do have a choir!
253
00:09:34,557 --> 00:09:35,824
Oh, goody!
254
00:09:35,891 --> 00:09:38,026
"This Little Light of Mine."
255
00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:44,032
JURY:
This little light of mine
256
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:46,034
I'm gonna let it shine
257
00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:47,402
This little
light of mine...
258
00:09:47,453 --> 00:09:50,339
This is all blowing
my mind, man.
259
00:09:50,406 --> 00:09:52,624
It's blowing my
simple human mind.
260
00:09:52,709 --> 00:09:55,410
Let it shine,
let it shine.
261
00:10:02,194 --> 00:10:03,611
{pub}I don't believe this.
262
00:10:03,695 --> 00:10:05,747
We can't bring up
that she's a serial killer?
263
00:10:05,831 --> 00:10:07,064
That was our whole case.
264
00:10:07,116 --> 00:10:08,583
Everybody just relax.
265
00:10:08,667 --> 00:10:12,503
Look, this jury is gonna
see you as a lovely family
266
00:10:12,571 --> 00:10:15,790
who does a great job
taking care of this girl.
267
00:10:15,874 --> 00:10:19,627
No one will be able to
change their minds about that.
268
00:10:19,711 --> 00:10:23,131
I'm sure you all see these
people as a lovely family
269
00:10:23,215 --> 00:10:26,968
who does a great job
taking care of this girl.
270
00:10:27,052 --> 00:10:29,103
Well, today...
271
00:10:29,188 --> 00:10:31,522
I'm gonna
change your minds about that.
272
00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:33,941
Well played, counselor.
273
00:10:34,026 --> 00:10:35,426
SYLVIA:
My client and I
274
00:10:35,477 --> 00:10:38,146
have spent the last 12 months
researching these people,
275
00:10:38,230 --> 00:10:41,399
and have found a number
of witnesses who can testify
276
00:10:41,450 --> 00:10:43,767
to this family's character,
277
00:10:43,819 --> 00:10:45,936
or lack thereof.
278
00:10:45,988 --> 00:10:47,321
And then he grabbed my shirt
279
00:10:47,406 --> 00:10:49,207
and he said if I flirted
with his girlfriend,
280
00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:50,241
he'd kick my ass.
281
00:10:50,309 --> 00:10:52,109
And who did that to you?
282
00:10:52,177 --> 00:10:53,144
That man.
283
00:10:53,211 --> 00:10:54,428
That full-grown man.
284
00:10:56,315 --> 00:10:58,232
What up, girl?
285
00:10:58,317 --> 00:11:00,050
Did you notice
I got my braces off?
286
00:11:03,088 --> 00:11:04,655
Would you say that
the Chance family
287
00:11:04,723 --> 00:11:07,124
was addicted to illegal
sports gambling?
288
00:11:07,192 --> 00:11:09,260
I'd bet my ass on it.
289
00:11:09,328 --> 00:11:10,595
And trust me, honey,
290
00:11:10,662 --> 00:11:12,763
that's a bet I'd love to lose.
291
00:11:12,831 --> 00:11:13,881
But I wouldn't.
292
00:11:13,949 --> 00:11:15,333
And there she was,
293
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,602
just peeing in a bucket
in the front yard.
294
00:11:17,669 --> 00:11:20,838
I took a picture with my phone!
295
00:11:22,007 --> 00:11:24,876
(guffawing)
296
00:11:24,927 --> 00:11:27,728
They used their baby monitor
to eavesdrop on my conversation.
297
00:11:27,796 --> 00:11:30,147
Then that crazy bitch
threw the monitor
298
00:11:30,215 --> 00:11:31,098
through my window.
299
00:11:31,183 --> 00:11:32,767
Uh, the great grandmother
300
00:11:32,851 --> 00:11:34,585
paid me to pretend
to kidnap Burt
301
00:11:34,653 --> 00:11:36,804
and he went right along with it
302
00:11:36,889 --> 00:11:38,306
and abandoned the little boy.
303
00:11:38,390 --> 00:11:40,858
And then when I came back
to apologize for it,
304
00:11:40,926 --> 00:11:44,312
20 years later, they
hit me with a TV...
305
00:11:44,396 --> 00:11:45,613
a bunch of times.
306
00:11:45,697 --> 00:11:47,148
They did that to me, too.
307
00:11:47,232 --> 00:11:48,900
That's because we just
found out you were...
308
00:11:48,951 --> 00:11:50,818
Don't say it!
309
00:11:50,903 --> 00:11:53,154
Then Jimmy and his friend
suddenly jumped me and started
310
00:11:53,238 --> 00:11:55,373
hitting me just because
I used to have a penis.
311
00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:57,325
Man, I miss that thing!
312
00:11:57,409 --> 00:11:59,143
Talk about a hasty decision.
313
00:12:02,381 --> 00:12:05,833
Man, that smack on the head
still makes me so dizzy,
314
00:12:05,918 --> 00:12:07,885
I got to take prescription drugs
315
00:12:07,953 --> 00:12:09,654
that I actually have
prescriptions for.
316
00:12:09,721 --> 00:12:11,339
Anyway, it really sucks
317
00:12:11,423 --> 00:12:13,140
'cause I drive
my own tour bus now.
318
00:12:13,225 --> 00:12:15,259
Yeah. Of course the gigs
are drying up.
319
00:12:15,310 --> 00:12:17,595
So I use it to deliver pizzas.
320
00:12:17,646 --> 00:12:19,764
In fact, I got some, uh,
321
00:12:19,815 --> 00:12:21,265
coupons here, if you don't mind.
Yeah?
322
00:12:21,316 --> 00:12:23,234
These are good
through the end he month.
323
00:12:23,301 --> 00:12:24,769
JIMMY:
It took awhile
324
00:12:24,820 --> 00:12:26,404
but eventually,Lucy's lawyer ran out of people
325
00:12:26,471 --> 00:12:28,272
to make us look bad.
326
00:12:28,323 --> 00:12:30,608
And then it was our turnto call up people
327
00:12:30,659 --> 00:12:32,493
who had good thingsto say about us.
328
00:12:32,578 --> 00:12:35,162
And James has never
broken an egg bagging groceries.
329
00:12:35,247 --> 00:12:37,915
Those are the same delicate
hands that handle Hope.
330
00:12:37,983 --> 00:12:39,834
JIMMY: Friends knowall the best things about you.
331
00:12:39,918 --> 00:12:41,986
But they also know the worst.
332
00:12:42,037 --> 00:12:43,621
Yes.
333
00:12:43,672 --> 00:12:45,923
I was hired to pretend to be
their caterer on Thanksgiving
334
00:12:45,991 --> 00:12:48,042
when they broke into a nice
house in order to convince
335
00:12:48,126 --> 00:12:49,260
Burt's parents he was wealthy.
336
00:12:49,327 --> 00:12:51,095
B-B-But when
we ran out of there,
337
00:12:51,162 --> 00:12:52,880
we left a ton of gourmet spices
338
00:12:52,965 --> 00:12:55,516
and a Japanese knife
I miss like crazy.
339
00:12:55,601 --> 00:12:58,936
Jimmy Chance is a jerk
and he should lose his daughter.
340
00:13:01,106 --> 00:13:04,174
Sorry, buddy, but I feel
like we'd be able to hang more
341
00:13:04,226 --> 00:13:06,027
if the kid was out of the way.
342
00:13:07,479 --> 00:13:08,980
Lucy's lawyer is compelling
343
00:13:09,031 --> 00:13:11,365
Her legal command is
344
00:13:11,450 --> 00:13:13,183
Impressive but those are
lies she's telling
345
00:13:13,235 --> 00:13:14,735
About the Chances.
346
00:13:14,820 --> 00:13:17,121
You were asked
to state your name.
347
00:13:17,189 --> 00:13:20,024
It's Shelley.
348
00:13:20,075 --> 00:13:22,543
Yeah, Jimmy, he's a great guy.
349
00:13:22,628 --> 00:13:23,878
He's really honest.
350
00:13:23,962 --> 00:13:25,630
He even told me about the time
351
00:13:25,697 --> 00:13:27,081
he tucked his penis
between his legs
352
00:13:27,165 --> 00:13:29,533
and danced around to
"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun."
353
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:30,918
(laughter)
354
00:13:31,003 --> 00:13:33,337
(whispers):
Sorry, Jimmy, I'm under oath.
355
00:13:33,388 --> 00:13:37,141
But you only have to tell
the truth about things they ask!
356
00:13:37,208 --> 00:13:40,344
Don't ask me about
his porn collection.
357
00:13:40,395 --> 00:13:42,212
If it weren't for
Jimmy and his parents,
358
00:13:42,264 --> 00:13:43,981
I wouldn't have
my seeing-eye pig.
359
00:13:44,049 --> 00:13:45,266
In my opinion,
360
00:13:45,350 --> 00:13:47,768
the Chances are
a strong, close-knit
361
00:13:47,853 --> 00:13:49,437
African-American family.
362
00:13:49,521 --> 00:13:53,190
Sir...
the Chances are Caucasian.
363
00:13:53,241 --> 00:13:55,826
Really? What about Eminem?
Caucasian.
364
00:13:55,894 --> 00:13:58,696
Really? Bryant Gumbel's
white, right?
365
00:13:58,747 --> 00:14:00,247
African-American.
366
00:14:00,332 --> 00:14:01,749
Well...
367
00:14:01,833 --> 00:14:04,585
obviously I'm not
a reliable witness.
368
00:14:04,670 --> 00:14:05,953
JIMMY:
Our friends couldn't help us,
369
00:14:06,038 --> 00:14:08,122
so we tried to help ourselves.
370
00:14:08,206 --> 00:14:11,408
Look, maybe we weren't
the perfect parents.
371
00:14:11,460 --> 00:14:14,512
Maybe my son has some issues,
372
00:14:14,579 --> 00:14:16,047
and maybe he made some mistakes
373
00:14:16,098 --> 00:14:19,350
and accidentally put
his daughter in danger.
374
00:14:19,417 --> 00:14:22,470
But... (sighs)
375
00:14:22,554 --> 00:14:24,805
(whispers): The rest of the
speech washed off.
376
00:14:24,890 --> 00:14:27,191
JIMMY: Mom practiced answers foranything they could ask her,
377
00:14:27,258 --> 00:14:29,694
but when the pressure was on,she went blank.
378
00:14:29,761 --> 00:14:31,946
I personally believe that...
379
00:14:32,030 --> 00:14:37,902
U.S. Americans...
in our nation...
380
00:14:37,953 --> 00:14:40,988
are unable to do so
because some parents...
381
00:14:41,073 --> 00:14:48,129
in America...
Out there... are not...
382
00:14:48,213 --> 00:14:50,131
having wet naps.
383
00:14:50,215 --> 00:14:51,665
Is she speaking in tongues?
384
00:14:51,750 --> 00:14:57,004
So I believe that...
our wiping products,
385
00:14:57,089 --> 00:15:01,609
like...
such as, in South Africa...
386
00:15:01,676 --> 00:15:05,730
and in the Iraq...
387
00:15:05,797 --> 00:15:07,481
JIMMY:
Eventually, I took the stand,
388
00:15:07,566 --> 00:15:10,651
and I realized thatI was Hope's only chance
389
00:15:10,736 --> 00:15:12,653
of staying Hope Chance.
390
00:15:12,721 --> 00:15:14,772
I showed pictures I drew
391
00:15:14,823 --> 00:15:18,192
of the cool thingsI had done with my daughter.
392
00:15:18,276 --> 00:15:19,443
And I mentionedHope's collection
393
00:15:19,494 --> 00:15:21,445
of interesting rocks,which I think
394
00:15:21,496 --> 00:15:22,913
impressed the miners.
395
00:15:22,981 --> 00:15:24,982
And finally,I just spoke from the heart.
396
00:15:25,033 --> 00:15:28,285
I-I'm sorry, I mean, is it
a crime to live at home
397
00:15:28,336 --> 00:15:29,687
with people you love?
398
00:15:29,755 --> 00:15:32,656
Look, we're broke.
399
00:15:32,707 --> 00:15:34,925
Hope is stuck living in a tiny,
crowded house.
400
00:15:34,993 --> 00:15:37,828
And when you're stuck in a tiny
space with a bunch of people,
401
00:15:37,879 --> 00:15:39,096
a lot of stuff happens
402
00:15:39,164 --> 00:15:41,766
that you don't want
anyone to know about.
403
00:15:41,833 --> 00:15:43,934
Probably stuff you wish
no one ever found out.
404
00:15:48,223 --> 00:15:49,723
But she's with good people,
405
00:15:49,791 --> 00:15:53,561
who stick together,
and find ways to laugh,
406
00:15:53,645 --> 00:15:56,363
and we work out our problems
even when we're pissed.
407
00:15:56,448 --> 00:16:00,067
And when you have people
like that in your corner,
408
00:16:00,152 --> 00:16:02,019
then you've got
the important stuff,
409
00:16:02,070 --> 00:16:05,856
a-and you'd be fine
stuck living in a cave.
410
00:16:05,907 --> 00:16:07,374
(applause)
411
00:16:10,996 --> 00:16:13,330
JIMMY: We were warnedit could take the jury a while
412
00:16:13,381 --> 00:16:15,365
to come to a decision,
413
00:16:15,417 --> 00:16:17,551
so we were very surprisedwhen we were called
414
00:16:17,636 --> 00:16:20,888
to come back in so quickly.
415
00:16:20,972 --> 00:16:22,673
Turns out the miners
416
00:16:22,724 --> 00:16:24,374
that have been trappedunderground together
417
00:16:24,426 --> 00:16:27,178
don't really want to be stuckin a small room together.
418
00:16:35,737 --> 00:16:38,239
(snoring quietly)
419
00:16:38,323 --> 00:16:41,391
The jury awards custody
of Hope Chance
420
00:16:41,443 --> 00:16:43,944
to her mother, Lucy Carlyle.
421
00:16:44,029 --> 00:16:46,530
JIMMY: I thought my big speechhad won the jury over,
422
00:16:46,581 --> 00:16:48,699
but apparently the thingminers miss the most
423
00:16:48,750 --> 00:16:50,067
when they're trappedunderground are their moms.
424
00:16:50,118 --> 00:16:52,253
Maybe this
will finally convince you
425
00:16:52,337 --> 00:16:54,755
to stop coming to me
for legal help.
426
00:16:58,996 --> 00:17:00,997
{pub}(clamoring)
JUDGE: Order!
427
00:17:01,048 --> 00:17:01,998
Order!
428
00:17:02,049 --> 00:17:03,466
Do you validate parking?!
429
00:17:03,534 --> 00:17:06,035
The next person who talks
will be found in contempt!
430
00:17:06,087 --> 00:17:07,671
You can't do this!
431
00:17:07,722 --> 00:17:10,390
I saw her today
432
00:17:10,474 --> 00:17:13,643
At the reception
433
00:17:13,711 --> 00:17:15,729
At her feet was her
434
00:17:15,813 --> 00:17:19,983
Footloose man
435
00:17:20,050 --> 00:17:26,156
No, you can't always
get what you want
436
00:17:26,223 --> 00:17:29,392
And if you try sometimes
437
00:17:29,443 --> 00:17:31,111
You'll find
438
00:17:31,195 --> 00:17:33,663
You get what you need
439
00:17:33,731 --> 00:17:37,117
440
00:17:45,927 --> 00:17:48,044
I saw her today
441
00:17:48,095 --> 00:17:50,130
At the reception
442
00:17:52,583 --> 00:17:53,934
A glass of wine...
443
00:17:54,018 --> 00:17:56,886
Yeah, sure, you're
gonna miss your father.
444
00:17:56,938 --> 00:17:59,773
But he could've
come with us to Tibet.
445
00:17:59,857 --> 00:18:03,860
She was going to meet
her connection
446
00:18:03,927 --> 00:18:06,479
At her feet was her
447
00:18:06,564 --> 00:18:08,365
Footloose man
448
00:18:10,067 --> 00:18:15,372
You can't always
get what you want
449
00:18:15,439 --> 00:18:20,660
You can't always get
what you want
450
00:18:20,745 --> 00:18:24,447
But if you try sometimes
451
00:18:24,498 --> 00:18:26,967
You might find
452
00:18:27,051 --> 00:18:29,636
You get what you need
453
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,622
Oh, yeah
454
00:18:37,928 --> 00:18:41,014
And I went down
455
00:18:41,098 --> 00:18:43,183
To the demonstration
456
00:18:43,267 --> 00:18:44,901
To get my
457
00:18:44,968 --> 00:18:48,188
Fair share of abuse
458
00:18:48,272 --> 00:18:51,408
Singing we're gonna vent
459
00:18:51,475 --> 00:18:53,827
Our frustration
460
00:18:53,911 --> 00:18:56,446
If we don't,
we're gonna blow
461
00:18:56,497 --> 00:18:58,615
A 50-amp fuse
462
00:18:58,666 --> 00:19:00,033
Sing it to me
463
00:19:00,117 --> 00:19:01,701
You can't always get
464
00:19:01,786 --> 00:19:04,621
What you want
465
00:19:04,672 --> 00:19:06,956
You can't always get
466
00:19:07,008 --> 00:19:10,510
What you want
467
00:19:10,594 --> 00:19:16,549
You can't always
get what you want
468
00:19:16,634 --> 00:19:18,635
But if you try sometimes
469
00:19:18,686 --> 00:19:20,270
Well, you just might find
470
00:19:20,337 --> 00:19:23,223
You get what you need
471
00:19:23,307 --> 00:19:25,341
Oh
472
00:19:25,393 --> 00:19:29,145
Baby, yeah
473
00:19:29,196 --> 00:19:32,014
Oh, yeah
474
00:19:32,066 --> 00:19:34,617
I went down
475
00:19:34,685 --> 00:19:36,236
To the Chelsea Drugstore...
476
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,455
You love her, don't you?
477
00:19:38,522 --> 00:19:40,290
Yeah.
478
00:19:40,357 --> 00:19:41,725
Of course I do.
479
00:19:41,792 --> 00:19:44,244
But I love my daughter, so...
480
00:19:44,311 --> 00:19:46,196
this is what has to happen.
481
00:19:49,867 --> 00:19:52,869
I want you to know
that what I'm about to do,
482
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:55,705
I'm doing for my daughter.
483
00:19:55,756 --> 00:19:58,174
Because she...
484
00:19:58,225 --> 00:20:00,760
deserves to grow up
in a happy family.
485
00:20:05,816 --> 00:20:09,018
I sung my song to Mr. Jimmy
486
00:20:09,070 --> 00:20:11,688
Yeah, and he said
one word to me
487
00:20:11,739 --> 00:20:13,857
And that was dead
488
00:20:13,924 --> 00:20:15,525
I said to him
489
00:20:15,576 --> 00:20:17,494
You can't always
490
00:20:17,561 --> 00:20:20,747
Get what you want
491
00:20:20,831 --> 00:20:24,567
You can't always
get what you want, no
492
00:20:26,370 --> 00:20:30,039
But if you try sometimes,
you just might find
493
00:20:30,091 --> 00:20:33,126
You get what you need
494
00:20:33,210 --> 00:20:37,079
Oh, yeah! Whoo!
495
00:20:47,024 --> 00:20:48,758
(tires screeching)
496
00:20:51,612 --> 00:20:53,095
Dude!
497
00:20:53,147 --> 00:20:55,949
You were right, Carl,
that was a bad idea.
498
00:20:56,033 --> 00:20:57,817
Trevor, you're up, buddy.
499
00:21:01,104 --> 00:21:02,989
You get what you need
500
00:21:03,073 --> 00:21:05,642
Oh, yeah...
501
00:21:07,328 --> 00:21:10,296
Okay, well,
that worked out, huh?
502
00:21:10,381 --> 00:21:12,031
So, I'm gonna give you
custody back,
503
00:21:12,099 --> 00:21:13,967
but I saw some disturbing things
504
00:21:14,051 --> 00:21:15,902
during the course of the trial.
505
00:21:15,970 --> 00:21:17,020
So promise me
506
00:21:17,087 --> 00:21:18,788
that you'll try
to do a better job
507
00:21:18,856 --> 00:21:20,089
raising Hope in the future.
508
00:21:20,157 --> 00:21:20,974
Definitely.
509
00:21:21,058 --> 00:21:21,958
We make mistakes,
510
00:21:22,009 --> 00:21:23,226
but we always learn from them.
511
00:21:23,293 --> 00:21:24,344
That's true.
It seems like every week
512
00:21:24,428 --> 00:21:26,629
we learn a new lesson.
513
00:21:26,780 --> 00:21:29,131
I would like to confess
to killing my husband.
514
00:21:31,199 --> 00:21:34,416
JUDGE: Okeydokey.
Well, I guess that does it.
515
00:21:35,541 --> 00:21:40,541
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516
00:21:40,591 --> 00:21:45,141
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