All language subtitles for Monk s04e07 Mr. Monk Goes to a Wedding.eng

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All right, one more.

One more, look at me and uh...

Big smiles. Ah, that's perfect.

Yes, okay.

Um, we're gonna get a group shot.

So I need you guys to come in with me.

Uh, I need the bridesmaids
and the best men, please.

All right.

Excuse me.

You're late.

Do you have it?

All of it?

Good.

Shall we do this in the usual way?

Yeah, yeah.

Hotel spa will be fine.

Five minutes.
Yeah, five minutes.

What?

No, this isn't...

What the hell
do you think you're doing?

You think you can screw with me?

My price just went up.

It's gonna cost you another 10 grand.

Or I could just make one
20-second phone call to the FBI.

You wouldn't happen
to know their number, would you?

You know, that's all right.

I'll just call information.
It'll be a lot easier to...

Hel...

Hello?

Son of a bitch.

Where are you?

MONK Season 4 Epi. 7
Mr. Monk Goes to a Wedding

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ORIGINAL AIR DATE ON USA: 2005/08/19

- Surprise. / Surprise!
- Surprise!

Happy birthday, buddy.

Thank you. Thank you.

For...

He's a jolly good fellow
for he's a jolly good fellow

- For he's a jolly good fellow...
- This is great.

This is awesome! I mean...

I can't believe you remembered.

Of course we remembered.
How could we forget?

- My mom called you, didn't she?
- Every day for the past month.

- What's that?
- It's cellophane.

- Monk's idea.
- It's to protect the cake.

- Makes it more fun.
- For what?

Well, when you blow out the candles,
there's always a little...

what I call spittle...

Actually a pretty good idea.
It's a birthday cake spittle shield.

You know, that's the first idea

that you've had that I might actually
consider investing in.

- Thank you.
- Make a wish.

Blow out the candles, lieutenant.

Hey, happy birthday.

I think I might reconsider that investment.

It's okay.

It's okay. No, no, it's okay!

I don't need a birthday cake...

To feel the love I'm feeling
in this room right now from everybody.

Hey. / It wasn't long ago I was a senior
at Temple university in Philadelphia...

What?

No, Roger, you can't.

Because you can't.

Well, I can't find anybody else.

Because the dinner's tonight, Roger.
The wedding's tomorrow.

So what did the doctor say?

So it didn't technically burst.

All right, fine, Roger,
you take care of yourself.

Bye.

What does an appendix do, anyway?
I mean, it's an appendix!

That means it's extra, right?

Is there anything I can do?

That wouldn't inconvenience me?

Yes.

You can come with me tomorrow
to my brother's wedding.

- My date just canceled.
- A wedding? No, uh...

I'm sorry. Natalie, I can't.

It's a bad idea for
for, for seven reasons.

Wait, eight, actually,
now that I think of nine.

Nine reasons.
I'm, I can't.

Well, I've got the day off.
I mean, if you can't find anybody else.

Hey, is Greenburg still
dating that parole officer?

No. He married her.

Actually, I own my own tuxedo.

Ooh! What about that B&E suspect
you brought in last week?

- He was kinda cute.
- Not cute enough to make bail.

I'd be honored if you met my family.

- It's not a date.
- I understand.

I just, I, I need a buffer.
I can't handle my family alone.

I'm a buffer.
I mean, I'm very buff.

I mean, no pun intended.

Of course, I thought
I was being funny.

- Separate rooms.
- Oh, I should think so.

All right, thank you.

Here is the invitation.
It's in Pebble beach. / Cool.

- Who's Jonathan Davenport?
- That's my brother.

You're always kissably fresh
with Davenport, like the toothpaste.

I'm actually not like the toothpaste.

We are the toothpaste.

What?

Get outta here.

Wait a minute. / What?

This is you? / Yeah.

Why didn't you ever tell us?

Mr. Monk, if you spent three minutes
with them, you'd understand.

I kept Mitch's name for a reason.
I don't want any part of them or that.

- So I guess you're kinda loaded, huh?
- They are.

They wouldn't offer me a nickel.
I wouldn't take it if they did.

This doesn't change anything, does it?

No. / Well, why would it?

You're, you're still Natalie.
You're, you're still you.

- And we're still us.
- And you're loaded.

Yeah, Davenport.

Karen!

Yes, Mrs. Davenport?

Where the hell is the photographer?

He told me he would meet me here.

I don't know.

- But I will find him for you.
- Thank you.

Hey.

What are these?

- Uh, they're cocktail napkins.
- Cocktail napkins are square.

I, I don't know what that is.

- Okay, I'm gonna fix this right away.
- Please.

Karen.

What is he?

Uh, he's a waiter.

No, I mean, is he native American?
Is he a hippie? What?

Oh, I, I don't know.

Well, I just don't think
he should serve tomorrow.

I mean, he just doesn't quite fit.

Oh, and I've change my mind
about the ratatouille. It'll drip!

It'll drip all over everything.
Tell the cook!

Do you believe I have to do everything?

Yes, dear.

Princess!

Is that your dad?

Robert Davenport.
Everybody calls him Bobby.

- Grandpa!
- Look at you! Oh, god!

You're gonna be the prettiest
flower girl in the world.

Hello, sweetheart.

- What does he do?
- He inherits money.

- What about your mom?
- That's Peggy.

She has two hobbies.

Tennis, and making me feel like dirt.

She's a champion at both.

- They look nice.
- Oh, then you'll fit right in.

Because looking nice
is what matters around here.

When I was in high school,
all they cared about

was whether I was dating
the right guy from the right family.

And? Did you?

I dated all the wrong guys.
Some of them were really wrong.

Like Mitch.

They still refuse to put
his picture on the piano.

What, that means something?

Yeah, it means something
to them, and me.

God, I'm sweating.

I feel like I'm allergic to them.
Is that possible?

Wait, come here, come here, come here.

- I need a signal.
- Signal?

Yeah. If I start to panic,
I'll ask you what time it is.

Okay, just get me out of there, all right?
Just drag me away.

"What time is it?" I got it.

Don't worry.

Bye, mom.

Hello, sweetheart.

Hello, my dear.

Oh, this is my friend.
This is Randy Disher.

Mr. and Mrs. Davenport,
it's a pleasure to meet you.

Both of you.

I've heard great things about you.

Like what?

Well, uh, I mean, not about you,
specifically.

About your toothpaste.

Especially that new kind with
the mouthwash built right in.

Bet you were the inspiration for that.

Why? What's wrong with my breath?

What time is it?

What?

What time is it? / No...

There's something wrong
with this bloody Mary. Oh, honey!

You're a bartender. Taste that.

Mom, I'm not a bartender anymore.

Oh, I'm, I'm sorry.
You're, you're, um,

a junior detective or something.

I'm an assistant to a private investigator.

It's just so hard to keep straight.
I mean, what is this, job number 17?

Randy, sweetheart, be a dear.
Taste this for me.

What's wrong with it?

- Not enough celery salt.
- Oh, that's it.

That's exactly what I thought.

Okay, so where's Jonathan?
I haven't even met Theresa yet.

Oh, you're going to love her.
She's fantastic!

Hold the presses.
You actually approve.

Well, yes, we approve.

We'd hardly be standing here
if we didn't approve.

- So I guess you had her checked out.
- Yes, I did.

This all happened very quickly.

Yeah, they met about
three weeks ago in Hawaii.

She's never been married.
Both of her parents are deceased.

She's been living off
a very healthy trust fund.

Huge. / So this girl
is not after the money.

This is the real thing.

Jonathan's very happy.

She makes him happy.
That's all that matters.

Mitch made me happy, mother.

Nat. Peg.

This is never gonna...

This is Jonathan's day.
Can we not do this?

Okay. I won't.
I'm gonna go find Julie.

Well, we haven't checked in yet.

Which way is the main office?

Back down the steps
and across the parking lot. / Great.

See you later, Peggy. Bobby.

Hey, listen, I gotta get going.

- You're okay, right?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

You don't have to check in on me.

Yes, I do.

I promised Natalie that I would.

And I swore on my mother's eyes.

Captain, I'm not a baby.

I'll be fine here.

Alone.

All day. Here.

You got something to drink?

It's in the fridge.

There's a chart on the inside of the door.
It's color-coded.

I don't need the chart, Monk.

Hey, I wonder how Natalie
and Randy are doing.

I love weddings.

Did you know that I met
Karen at a wedding?

I love weddings anyway.

Yep.

You know who had a great wedding?

You did. You and Trudy.

Now, that was a great day.

Where is that photo album?

She was...

Wow! / Beautiful.

I remember during the service
she was crying so hard,

she couldn't even say the words, "I do."

Have you ever seen anybody
cry so much?

That was you, Monk.

And, no, I have not.

Randy, Randy, son, did you see
who was driving the car?

Did you see?
Can you I.D. the driver?

I saw that.

- Silver Volvo.
- No, no, Randy, we got the car.

It's right here.
Who was driving?

Captain.../ Yeah?

I got a license plate.

I don't need the license plate, Randy.
I'm looking right at it.

Four, Paul...
"C," Charles...

- He's gonna be okay, right?
- Yeah, painkillers.

How's he doing?

Broken arm, broken leg.
Probably a couple of broken ribs.

Suitcase took most of the blow.
It could have been a lot worse.

- Can he identify the driver?
- He can't identify me.

He'll try again later.
What do you got?

Condensation.

The air conditioner was running.

And the humidity is, what?
About 70%.

So that car was idling right here
for about 20 minutes.

So, what, he was waiting for him?

From the tire tracks here,

he must have peeled out full speed.

So, what, he didn't even try to brake.

Or make the turn.

Son of a bitch!

What happened?

He was only here for an hour.
Did he piss somebody off? / No.

And we found this
on the floor of the car.

Near the gas pedal.
Some kind of green mud.

Well, I'll get that to the lab right away.

- Captain, it's not your case.
- Like hell it's not.

She's right, captain.
It's my backyard.

Lieutenant Bristo.
Monterey county police.

How you doing?

Don't worry, you'll be
copied on every statement.

Where you staying?

Uh, right here, I guess.

This is Adrian Monk.
He'll be staying here too.

- I, I, I don't think so.
- He'll be staying here too.

I guess I'll be staying here too.

Well, the car's registered
to a Margaret Davenport.

Margaret Davenport?

Aunt Madge!

Okay, aunt Madge.

She said somebody took the keys
out of her coat pocket,

which was in a cloak room.

She was busy putting up decorations.

So it wasn't her.

But he knew exactly where to look.

And what car was hers?

There's no Volvo markings on that key.

That could have been anybody.
An employee, uh...

I don't think so.
I just talked to the manager.

There was a staff meeting in progress.

Nobody was missing.

What? You're saying somebody
in my family did this?

No.

Why don't we get you upstairs?

Hotel's comping you a room.

Honey.

- I'll catch up with you guys later.
- Okey-dokey.

- Oh, yes, how is he?
- I hope he's gonnabe all right.

Oh, now, sweetheart,
I'm sorry about your friend.

But there isn't anything that you can do.

So now we just have to...

what?

- We soldier on.
- That's right. We soldier on.

Uh, now, the rehearsal dinner
is in about 20 minutes, so...

What's that?

Uh, oh, I found this outside.

But those are Randy's pants.

Oh, yes, I thought that
this color would be good to show

the wedding planner for the tablecloths.

- Khaki?
- No, the blood! Crimson!

The ones she picked
were sort of raspberry.

Didn't go with any of the flowers at all.

Mom, that's an evidence bag.

Yes. / You can't just take it
from a crime scene.

That's a felony.

Well, the tablecloths are a felony, darling.

- And I'm going to give it back.
- Mom, you can't just keep it.

I, no!

Natalie Jane!

Thank you, darling.

Now, the rehearsal dinner's
going to be in about 20 minutes.

So you're not gonna be
wearing that, are you?

Mr. Monk! / Natalie, that gift shop
does not have my toothbrush.

They do not carry the Gertler 4000.
What am I supposed to do?

We're gonna worry about that later.

Come on, we're late.
The rehearsal dinner's in 20 minutes.

You said "we"?

You said "we're late?"
I heard you say "we."

- You're my date. Congratulations.
- Oh, wait!

- Here's the thing.
- Mr. Monk, someone did this to Randy.

Maybe somebody in my family.

You're a detective, right?
This is your chance to look around.

- Here's the thing.
- Here's the thing!

I can't go in there alone!
You're my date!

Excuse me.

Oh, I don't normally stand up
and give speeches.

In a minute, you're gonna find out why!

And I promise, after tomorrow,

I'm gonna let Jonathan
do most of the talking.

Don't bet on it.

Um, I just wanted to thank you, all of you,
for making me feel so at home.

I know this all happened very quickly.

I still don't know how you
planned all this in one week.

As some of you know,
I lost my own parents in 1995,

and I never thought I would
ever feel this way again.

So...

Mr. and Mrs. Davenport,

when we met yesterday, you asked me
to call you mom and dad.

At the time I didn't really
know what to say,

but I've been thinking about it,
and mom and dad...

I would love to.

Natalie, when I was growing up
in Philadelphia,

I used to dream about having a big sister.

I can't wait to get to know you better.

I'm having a little
bachelorette party tonight.

- I really hope you can make it.
- Oh, yeah!

Stop it!

He keeps touching my food!

No, I wasn't.

I was just helping the lad.

He seems kind of confused about...

It's mushing all together here.

He's, uh, he's fine.
He's gonna be all right.

You have a nice background here.

Very good. Thank you very much.

Captain, what are you doing?

Taking pictures.

I overheard your mother say that

the wedding photographer didn't
show up, so I volunteered.

I borrowed this from
one of the crime tech guys. / Why?

Why? Because Randy says that he thinks
he might be able to identify the driver.

- Did he get a good look at him?
- Yep.

Male caucasian, medium build,
red baseball cap, sunglasses.

I figured I'd take some pictures,
get them developed tonight.

And maybe we'll get lucky.

Wait. You're undercover at
my brother's wedding? / Yeah.

Look, I'm doing you a favor.

It's either this, or we take
everybody upstairs, one at a time.

Smile.

Very nice.

- Hey, sis. Mr. Monk.
- Hey, bro!

That looks good on you.

- Oh, the suit?
- No, the smile.

He never smiles.

Never had anything to smile about.

You want my advice?
Get out now, save yourself.

No. No, thanks.
I'm not going anywhere.

Till death do us part.

Hey, how's your friend?
Sergeant Disher.

Oh, it's lieutenant Disher.

He got pretty banged up.
But he's gonna be okay.

I can't believe that
happened right outside.

Yeah, we wanted to send him some flowers.

- Which hospital is he in?
- No, he's back here.

He's upstairs. Just resting.

Oh, good!

Well, we can deliver the flowers ourselves.

Yeah. / Do you think he'll be able to
make it to the wedding tomorrow?

Oh, gosh, probably not.

- That's too bad.
- Oh, you know what?

I think I'm gonna bring
my new father-in-law a drink.

Oh, hey, don't forget,
in room 304, party.

So...

I can't believe I'm
about to say this but...

Mom was right. She's great.
You don't deserve her.

I don't.

We have 87 things in common.

Last night, we actually made a list.

- Okay, stop it.
- It's crazy.

And she doesn't have any family at all?
Brothers, sisters?

No, she had an uncle,

but he was on that Pan Am
flight to Madrid with her parents.

It was a Pan Am flight?

Yeah. God, she's been through so much.

But it's made her stronger.

And it's rubbing off.
I feel stronger too.

- Soon I'll be strong like you.
- Oh, right.

She's probably looking for me,
so I'm gonna go.

But I'll see you tomorrow.

Gulp.

What?

Nothing.

What is it?

Well, she, she said her parents
died in 1995.

Pan Am went out of business in '91.

So? She got a little mixed up.

Yeah.

Out of Service

No, that M is a disaster.

How about this guy?
That's, uh, that's

uncle Ferdy from Memphis.

No. / No?

No.

- That's Natalie's cousin.
- No.

No pictures of Theresa?

The bride. Sure. Uh...

This is the back of her head.

That's weird. I don't have
a good shot of her.

Hey, could it have been a woman?

Yeah, I guess so.

- You think maybe she's the guy?
- I don't know.

- She did lie about her parents.
- We'll check her out.

I'll get it.

All right, I'm gonna need
a bigger bottle.

Uh, Randy Disher's room.
This is Stottlemeyer.

What?

Yeah. I understand.

Uh, we'll be down there in a minute.

- They found a body.
- Where?

In the spa.

- Who is it?
- No idea.

Okay. Let's go.

You're not going anywhere.

Look, meet me downstairs.
Find Natalie.

We had a few complaints
about you ladies.

It's good thing I brought my handcuffs.

Um, officer, I've been a bad girl.

Hello, hello.

Excuse me.

Hello. Natalie.

Natalie.

Excuse me.

Natalie.

Mr. Monk. What's going on?
Is Randy okay?

Anything wrong?

Oh, uh, yeah. I just need
to go talk to my mom.

Uh, I'll be back. Party on.

Bye!

Oh. Hey, you better come too.

Me?

There's a body downstairs.

Looks like a 187.

A 187? / Yeah. Lieutenant Bristo's
down there,

and I think he wants you down there too.

Let's go. / Okay.

This way.

I'm coming.

What, what's that?

My boom box.

Boom box.

Okay. Fine. Let's just go.

You look like you work out a little bit.

I try.

I'm looking into pilates.

Hey, monk.

Who is he?

So far, he's John Doe.

We figure his wallet's
still in the mud bath.

I'm willing to bet
that that mud is the same mud

that you found outside in the car.

- Was he the driver?
- No. Not likely.

According to the coroner,
this guy died at least 36 hours ago.

Captain, he's the wedding photographer.
The one that's been missing.

How do you know that?

The discoloration on his fingertips.

It's caused by developer fluid.

I've seen it on other photographers.

Glad he's on our team.

Well, if you're right and he's local,

he'll probably have a studio in town.

We'll get a search warrant.

What's he doing here?

Oh, that's Hondo. He's with me.

Figure we might need
a little crowd control.

Can I talk to you for a sec?

Mr. Monk, he's not a real cop.

He's a stripper.

I don't think so.

Didn't you see his badge?
It said, "officer feel good."

So...

Monk, the guy's got dollar bills
sticking out of his belt.

I thought he lost his wallet.

Hold on a sec.

Now wait a minute.

Oh, it's on my shoe.
Natalie.

Ah, no, no!

Wipe.

Wipe!

No, I need something bigger!

You may be right about him.

Sorry. Judge Allen was
upstate duck hunting.

You got it. Search warrant.

We are duly authorized.

You look so pretty.

Your daddy would be so proud of you.

Beloved friends,

we're gathered here today to celebrate
the union of Theresa and Jonathan.

Two met just three weeks ago.

But true love has found between.

The guy's name was Frank Ruddle.

I got a peek at his bank account.

He was broke.

Living paycheck to paycheck.

Get this.

According to his sister, he'd been
talking to real estate agents.

Looking at houses.

Thought he was gonna come into
some money.

Hello.

I got it. I got it.

And do you, Theresa Scott,
take Jonathan Davenport to love, honor, and cherish

for better or worse,
richer or poorer,

in sickness and in health
until death do you part?

I do.

By the power vested in me
by the state of California,

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

May I present you Mr. and Mrs.
Jonathan Davenport?

Oh, my god.
It's her. It's Theresa.

She's a black widow.

It's, it's not her.

Her hair is different. / Mom, she
dyed her hair blond and cut it.

It's not her.

This is the happiest day of his life.
Why are you doing this to your brother?

I'm doing this for Jonathan.
Mom, this explains everything.

Why she has no family,
why she has no friends.

Because her best friend is sick
and her parents happen to be dead.

Did you read this article?

She killed her first husband for his money.

- She might be planning to do it again.
- No, no.

No, no, no. Cancel, cancel.
I don't believe it.

Mrs. Davenport, Randy Disher was
the investigating officer 6 years ago.

He could identify Theresa.

That's why she tried to
run him down when he first got here.

I'm sorry.
But that is simply preposterous.

I feel something!

Hey!

Yesterday, she called him sergeant Disher.

He was a sergeant
when she knew him 6 years ago.

Excuse me, young man,
could you just go. Thank you.

We both know what this is about.

This is not about Theresa and

some stupid photograph that
somebody found.

This is about you and me.

- Oh, mom, please stop.
- Yes. Yes. You and me and Mitch.

And the fact that you think
that I treated him badly,

Oh, this is... / And I never put
his picture on the piano

as if that meant anything.

I really don't see
how you can work with that man

or how you can take
anything he says seriously.

May I?

Yes, of course.

Should I be insulted?

About what?

The napkins.

You afraid to touch me, Mr. Monk?

Why would I be afraid of you?

I'm not marrying you.

It's a beautiful dress.

Oh, thank you.

And it still fits.

What do you mean?

You wore the same dress
in Philadelphia 6 years ago.

At the time, you were using
the name Darlene Coolidge.

I saw the wedding pictures,
the ones that Frank Ruddle took.

Who?

Frank Ruddle.

The wedding photographer who made
the fatal mistake of recognizing you.

Mr. Monk, I'm not...

who or what you think I am.

I am denying it unequivocally.

However, if you were right,

and I was such a woman,

the last thing you'd wanna do
is get in my way.

Are you threatening me?

Hi.

How do you plan to do it?

How are you going to kill him?

The song's over, Mr. Monk.

Excuse me, Mrs. Davenport.

They're playing our song.

Oh, come here!

I missed you.

You broke into her room?
Is that legal?

You don't need a search warrant to go into
a hotel room if it's after checkout.

Is that true?

- I don't know.
- What you got?

Red baseball cap.

Ta-da. / Green mud.

- All right, let's arrest her.
- No, no, no!

Natalie! Natalie!

- We can't get her on this.
- But we have to do something.

They're honeymooning in Mexico.
They're gonna leave any minute.

If Randy can id her as Darlene Coolidge,
then we've got her.

I'm gonna go see
if I can wake him up.

Keep her here.

Don't let her leave.

It's time.

Okay.

Hey, we're heading out.

Already? / Yeah.

Theresa wants to catch an earlier flight.

When she makes up her mind
about something, that's it.

- The woman's a force of nature.
- Don't go.

I, I need to talk to you.

Oh, you don't need me to have fun.
You never did.

Hi. I've got to take him.

- I've got to take him, okay?
- Wish me luck.

Jonathan.
Theresa.

Just wanted to say a few words.

I...

well, the truth is I don't really know
either of you very well.

But I do know a couple of things
about marriage.

My wife Trudy used to say...

that marriage is 90% love

and 10% forgiveness.

She was married to me,
so she was sort of an expert in forgiveness.

That's a true story.

- Son of a bitch!
- Forget it.

- Is there a latch?
- Forget it, I'm good.

- You're good?
- I'm good, go!

Okay. / Go, let's go.

Come on!

Come on, come on, come on!

Anyway, I, I'd like to thank
all of you for coming.

And I think I speak
on behalf of Bobby and Peggy.

No, uh, no, actually, you're not.

You...

And, um, Jonathan and, and Theresa,
I, I, uh...

I, I know you want
to take a, a minute now

and just say thank you to
our wonderful waiters and waitresses.

Yes, absolutely.

Great, great.

You know who's here, though,
is, uh, Julie Teeger.

Come up here, Julie.

Come on up here, please.

Julie, you know, is, uh,
of course, Jonathan's niece.

Come, come, come on.

She has, uh, had to, uh,
memorize a poem for, for school.

And she would like to recite it for you now
in honor of Jonathan and Theresa.

Julie Teeger.

- Come on Julie, come on girl.
- Okay, bye.

Father William by Lewis Carroll.

"You're old, Father William,"
the young man said.

"And your hair has become very white."

Sorry.

"And yet you incessantly
stand on your head."

"Do you think, at your age,
this is right?"

"Do you think, at your age,
this is right?"

- That always gets me.
- Okay, okay, okay!

Shoot!

When I was just a lad...

We're gonna go.
Good job, good job.

Well, not a lad.
You know, more of a young...

fella.

You know, adolescent.

A teenager, really.

Okay, fine.

Hang on!

Hey, Darlene.

Long time, no see.

Is this her?

Darlene Coolidge.

We lost track of you
back in Seattle in 2001.

But by then, her name
was Phyllis Gaffney,

and she was already
on husband number three.

He lasted five and a half weeks.

You really must've loved him.

What's he talking about?

Okay, okay,
don't do anything stupid.

Told you we should've eloped.

Hey! Dad...

- You have a private jet.
- It's a company jet.

I want it fueled and ready
to go in 20 minutes.

Stay away from our family.

We have enough problems.

Thank you.

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