Original subtitles

(potato chips crunching)

(crunching continues)

Um, yeah, as you know, I'm a heavy drinker.

Yeah. Yeah, I heard. But the Norwegians put me to shame.

Yeah. They said the food was good, but I don't remember anything.

Well... (laughs) But...

Mmm... Anyway, we missed you.

Aw, man, I know. But, uh, you know,

I gotta save my air miles, and Oslo's fucking expensive,

everybody's getting married in far-off places,

like, it's just-- and Annie wants to go to Mexico this year, so...

I see how it is. Soon, I'll be flying to your wedding.

That's the idea. Hey, baby.

Annie: Hey, babe. I'm talking to Chad.

Oh, fun!

Hey, Chad. How you doing?

Annie, I love your turban. Thank you. It's just for you.

How was that wedding that you were at?

The wedding was beautiful.

A wonderful expression of love. Mm...

And, uh, another one bites the dust.

Aren't you coming next week to Dinah's?

Mm-hm. Yeah, uh, Chad's gonna crash with us, baby.

Oh, get out. That's so fun.

Wait, I thought you were gonna stay at the little FIT girl's house?

The little anorexic one. Nope.

We had a bit of a falling out, let's say,

when she came to visit me in Phnom Penh. Mm...

Yeah. She's immature. So...

Well, yeah, you're obviously welcome here at all times.

Yeah. We're just so boring.

We're gonna have a great time. Yeah.

It's gonna be a good time. Yeah, actually, I have to get ready for work now,

but I guess I'll see you next week.

Annie, great to see you. Good to see you, Chad.

(Kabir laughs) Okay, man. I'll-- I'll see you later.

I'll talk to you soon, all right?

Kabir, thank you for waking up early

to talk to me over the Internet.

Ah, I've been up for an hour. Annie: Kabir!

You left fucking crumbs on the bed again!

Man on radio: I would not have spent New Year's Eve...

Chad: You didn't hang up.

Oh, shit, Kabir, still? (air mattress pump whirring)

Do you remember that time after Dillo Day

he ate that whole baked ham? With the dipping sauces!

Kabir: Yes, yes. (laughter)

Yeah! And you were like, "Who ate my ham?"

You did! We were watching you!

Oh, that was so cute!

We have to put alarms on the kitchen cabinets again.

Little baby locks. Little baby locks. I never-- that's--

Stop. I'm not baby locks.

Um, why don't we go out and get a night cap?

I got to be at the hospital, like, 9:00.

Look, I'm, like, eight hours ahead right now, so I'm awake.

I mean, I have to be up super early. I would otherwise.

I met up with Berit before I boarded the plane. Oh, shit.

The hot 43-year-old? Baby! Come on.

We had an interesting time. Kabir: Yeah, I know what that is.

We had three interesting times.

That's our cue to go to bed. Yeah, we, uh...

We, like, need a serious eight hours.

Oh, I heard about people like that.

And that's a joke, Annie, and I like you.

Um, can I get the keys?

What's your name? Rachel.

What's your name? Sh! Chad.

(Chad, Rachel moaning)

(air mattress pump whirring)

Kabir: I know, I know, all right?

The hospital was crazy, but I'll be five minutes.

It's fine. Don't worry. Just the car is coming in 20 minutes.

So can you wake him up? What? Chad, dude.

Wake up, wake up, wake up. Dinah's wedding!

He can take his own car. Dinah's wedding! Fifteen minutes!

He can take his own car. Kabir: He's not gonna take his own car.

It's snowing!

Thank you so much, Dinah's cousin. (coughs)

There.

It's Isabelle.

And no problem.

You want some, dude? No.

Yeah. Yeah.

Annie: Kabir! What are you doing?

Can we get out of here, please?

(laughs) Hey.

Yo, I think we might stay out a little while.

Yeah. Um, can I get your keys?

Yeah, okay. Annie: Kabir!

Okay. Annie: It's really cold.

Thank you. Bye!

Hurry home. (laughs) Run!

(both laugh) So on which side are you cousins? Of Dinah?

Isabelle: My mom. I mean, the mom. Moms.

The mom. The mother. Moms are sisters. Sister-moms.

(Chad, Isabelle moaning) Isabelle: Yeah.

(Kabir snores)

Isabelle: Oh my god. Stop.

Looks like my flight's been canceled.

(electric pump whirring)

Whoo! Yeah!

Well, well, well!

Under-arm, please, Annie.

I have my own style, Chad. Okay?

Chad: Well, it's illegal in this game.

I mean, are we keeping track of rules? They're fine.

Chad: Kabi, this spring do you wanna do the Mont Blanc trail with me?

Whoo! There you go! Her style works.

Kabir: Like, climbing a mountain?

It's not all climbing. Sometimes you descend and--

you in? Oh, yeah?

Uh, you know, we gotta--

We actually have been planning the Mexico trip

for a whole year now, so...

Yeah, we're gonna go to Mexico.

Yeah.

(clanks) Nice!

Okay.

Mystery of the ages.

So... ta-da! That's for you.

So is this, like, some pickup-artist shit?

Uh, no, I don't do that. I'm a proud asexual.

Huh. Yeah, I just love magic.

Wow. I don't think I've ever met an asexual.

You definitely have. We're all over the place.

(phone chirps) Very interesting.

Yeah. Psst! Hold on one second.

Hi, Isabelle. Here's some literature.

Isabelle: Hey, dude. I'm not at home. Thank you.

Can you come to my friend's house?

Yeah, I'll come out there.

The Guy: Dude, whatever you are making

smells fucking amazing, man.

Oh, thanks. It's just root vegetables

in the pressure cooker.

That's just root vegetables? That's it.

I'm making a soup. Why don't you stick around?

I'm making more than we could eat. Oh, no, no.

Why? You totally should stay!

You should totally stay. Stay. Why not?

Come on. You have somewhere else to be?

Yeah, where do you have to be? Stay. Totally stay.

Why not? You must stay.

Okay, fuck it, dude! I'll stay.

I'm making a chocolate cardamom space cake

for dessert. Delicious.

Is he inviting this guy to dinner?

Yeah, I think it sounds like that.

He's, like, a pot dealer.

Hey, baby? Mm-hm?

What's up? Are you happy?

Am I happy? With us?

Yeah, I'm super happy. Aren't you happy?

I'm really happy. I love you. I'm incredibly happy.

I love you. What's this about? I just--

I don't know, I just feel like we don't go out anymore.

We haven't had sex in, like, a month.

I've been trying. You're always--

Look, things have been crazy, okay, with work and with your LSATs.

And, you know, we've got a plan. That's...

All right. Well, I just want you to know that

if you want to go on the long trail

in Mont Blanc, I want you to go.

I don't wanna go. Okay, good.

I didn't want you to go anyway. Of course not.

But if you want to go, you can go. We're going to Mexico.

I want to go to Mexico with you.

Holy shit, dude. That was fucking delicious.

Fucking delicious. Thank you.

Who's ready for some chocolate cardamom space cake?

Dude, I'm so stoned. That would just put me to sleep.

Chad, I wanna vomit just so I can taste your food again, man.

(laughs) Okay, that's gross.

Yeah, that's a weird thing. I'm gonna go there.

I said a weird thing. That's okay.

I'm gonna leave this place.

Thank you so much. Isabelle,

please call me again.

I will. Guys, nice to meet you.

See you guys! All: Bye!

Annie, I'm assuming you're a big "no" on the space cake.

You're psychic, Chad. But, uh, Kabir?

No, man. I'm on call tomorrow, so I can't.

Do you want just a puff? No, because I'm on call, so...

You guys hear that Dinah's family spent $60,000 on that wedding?

Yeah. Chad: I think that's disgusting.

$60,000? Kabir: Yeah.

That's insane. That's a lot.

When I got married, we just went to City Hall,

and then had a barbecue in the park,

and it was only $400, and it was awesome.

Wait, so you're currently married, or you were married?

She's in an open marriage. Present day.

She's in an open marriage. Oh...

Don't even think about it. Whoa. Don't.

You don't need to look at me. You're smiling.

Well, you know, it's-- uh, it's interesting.

I think it's beautiful. Annie: You would think that's beautiful, Chad.

I would, and I do.

So, like, your husband knows that you're here,

and he's fine? Isabelle: Oh, yeah, yeah.

He's on the Coachella Cruise

with our really good friend Chloe right now.

They're having a blast.

So, like, you don't ever

feel, like, a little jealous or resentful?

You're making it negative.

Kabir: No, she's not-- I'm not jealous.

Annie: I'm entitled to my own opinion, Chad.

Of course. Of course. Negative opinion.

People ask a lot of questions,

and that's totally valid and fair,

but it's really lovely. We mostly just date our friends.

It's just like-- it's all love, you know?

That kind of thing.

I mean, you guys used to fuck, and that's not a problem? No.

Kabir: What? No.

No?

What's she talking about?

Is she-- is she fucking serious? (Chad clears throat)

(knock on door)

I'll get the door.

Kabir: Wait, is she serious?

When? When did you used to fuck?

Annie: Baby. It was sophomore year,

and I thought someone would have told you. Annie: I honestly forgot.

Kabir: Someone didn't tell me. Yeah.

Chad: I thought she would have told you by now.

Hey, guys, I forgot about the money... (laughs)

Oh, shit. So, uh...

Sorry, man. Kabir, I'll get you back for this.

(shouts) What the--

(phone rings, buzzing, speaks indiscernibly)

(computerized voice) Fuck. Hello?

(woman on phone) Dr. Kahn? Yeah? Uh, yes? No.

Woman: Dr. Brenner's trying to locate you.

Did you receive our page? Well, y-- yeah.

Woman: Can we let him know you're on your way?

Yeah, yeah, I am. Yes, yes.

Of course. Woman: He said to let you know that it's urgent.

(coughs) No... Woman: Everything okay?

I was-- okay.

I'm, uh, on my way. I'm on my way.

Woman: Very good. We'll let him know.

Fuck!

Shit! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

(door opens, closes)

Kabir: Oh, shit.

(rock music plays)

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