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1
00:00:00,363 --> 00:00:02,280
So good to meet you.
Mwah. Mwah!
2
00:00:02,280 --> 00:00:04,780
You're adorable,
you fucking peanut. (indistinct chattering)
3
00:00:04,780 --> 00:00:06,988
I love it.
You guys.
4
00:00:06,988 --> 00:00:09,280
Oh, God bless.
So good. Guys, take it easy!
5
00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:10,780
So love you.
Obsessed with you.
6
00:00:10,780 --> 00:00:12,155
Ew.
What the fuck, man?
7
00:00:12,155 --> 00:00:14,030
Faggot convention over here.
How did Peter end up
8
00:00:14,030 --> 00:00:15,363
with that total
fucking troll?
9
00:00:15,363 --> 00:00:17,280
What in the gay hell?
He kept cornering me all night.
10
00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:18,613
Oh!
And his breath--
11
00:00:18,613 --> 00:00:20,405
it, like, smelled
like old pennies.
12
00:00:20,405 --> 00:00:22,155
Yes!
That's exactly what it was.
13
00:00:22,155 --> 00:00:24,655
Hey, man, can I get
a cigarette and a light for a dollar, please?
14
00:00:24,655 --> 00:00:26,488
Here, hand me those
so you can--
15
00:00:26,488 --> 00:00:29,030
What was that about?
It was like, skin tags, take them off your face.
16
00:00:29,030 --> 00:00:30,780
They're called tags
for a reason. Thank you.
17
00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:32,030
You know what I mean?
Thank you!
18
00:00:32,030 --> 00:00:33,905
Just, like,
all over his face.
19
00:00:33,905 --> 00:00:35,655
Just on and on--
you know?
20
00:00:35,655 --> 00:00:37,530
Oh, I don't have a dollar.
21
00:00:37,530 --> 00:00:39,905
Anyway, did you notice too
how his Adam's apple
22
00:00:39,905 --> 00:00:42,655
literally looked
like he had swallowed an arrowhead or--
23
00:00:42,655 --> 00:00:44,780
So sharp, so gross.
So sharp!
24
00:00:44,780 --> 00:00:46,821
Fucking Olivia--
unbelievable.
25
00:00:46,821 --> 00:00:48,613
You can't just not wear a bra.
You did not wear a bra.
26
00:00:48,613 --> 00:00:50,738
She's looking good since
she did Blue Print, you must admit.
27
00:00:50,738 --> 00:00:51,863
Oh my God,
do not even say that.
28
00:00:51,863 --> 00:00:54,488
This tastes like spunk.
29
00:00:54,463 --> 00:00:56,546
But it's like,
how am I supposed to express my creativity
30
00:00:56,571 --> 00:00:58,363
and, like,
really stretch my wings
31
00:00:58,363 --> 00:01:00,571
if they don't
give me a budget? Like, I'm a bird in a cage,
32
00:01:00,571 --> 00:01:01,863
literally, right now.
33
00:01:01,863 --> 00:01:03,946
And I have to shit
and I'm in Meatpacking--
34
00:01:03,946 --> 00:01:06,988
Can you-- can you stop by
the Duane Reade and get me some tampons?
35
00:01:06,988 --> 00:01:09,363
It's like Nicole Simpson
up in here.
36
00:01:09,363 --> 00:01:11,071
This is your selection,
isn't it?
37
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,988
I can tell
this is yours
38
00:01:12,988 --> 00:01:14,821
because
it's really well curated.
39
00:01:14,821 --> 00:01:17,113
Woke up this morning,
made me an exquisite breakfast--
40
00:01:17,113 --> 00:01:19,321
So hot.
But I had plans with Benjamin
41
00:01:19,321 --> 00:01:22,488
and I made him pick me up
at Jonathan's house.
42
00:01:22,488 --> 00:01:24,696
You're such a slut.
I'm obsessed with you.
43
00:01:24,696 --> 00:01:28,488
Uh, why do you keep
making me do this? I'm a bad friend.
44
00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:30,196
Oh, my god, hide me, hide me.
45
00:01:30,196 --> 00:01:31,988
Please just, like, help me.
You're being so dramatic.
46
00:01:31,988 --> 00:01:33,863
No, you don't understand.
You're such a queen sometimes.
47
00:01:33,863 --> 00:01:35,571
No, he fisted me
at Kanye's secret show
48
00:01:35,571 --> 00:01:36,946
in the Boom Boom Room
at The Standard.
49
00:01:36,946 --> 00:01:38,988
You've got to stop letting
people put their fist up there.
50
00:01:38,988 --> 00:01:40,613
Just put your face
in front of mine.
51
00:01:40,613 --> 00:01:42,321
Ah, this is ridiculous.
52
00:01:42,321 --> 00:01:45,196
(laughs)
Hi.
53
00:01:45,196 --> 00:01:47,946
I gotta say,
originally I was kind of upset
54
00:01:47,946 --> 00:01:49,863
that you guys had a kid,
'cause he was kind of
55
00:01:49,863 --> 00:01:52,738
screwing up
my income stream, but he's really cute!
56
00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:55,488
I would have
had you here every week for the last two years
57
00:01:55,488 --> 00:01:56,946
if she wasn't breastfeeding.
58
00:01:56,946 --> 00:01:58,488
I still really want it,
though.
59
00:01:58,488 --> 00:01:59,946
Are you guys
doing anything fun tonight?
60
00:01:59,946 --> 00:02:01,696
Well, not tonight.
But tomorrow night,
61
00:02:01,696 --> 00:02:04,238
my mom is taking him
and we're gonna go up to Beacon
62
00:02:04,238 --> 00:02:06,363
and stay with friends
and... (whispers) get fucked up
63
00:02:06,363 --> 00:02:08,488
(speaks normally)
and just sleep. (phone chirping)
64
00:02:08,488 --> 00:02:09,738
Ah, sorry, one second.
65
00:02:11,988 --> 00:02:13,613
I want this one!
66
00:02:14,821 --> 00:02:16,946
Hi. You still
at the same address?
67
00:02:16,946 --> 00:02:18,988
Max:
Yeah, and I don't really have a lot of time.
68
00:02:18,988 --> 00:02:21,196
No, okay, that's fine.
I'll be in like an hour.
69
00:02:21,196 --> 00:02:24,071
Okay, can you get here
sooner than that, though?
70
00:02:24,071 --> 00:02:25,988
I pressed X!
71
00:02:25,988 --> 00:02:27,863
"I pressed X!"
We'll see.
72
00:02:27,863 --> 00:02:29,613
Bye.
Bye.
73
00:02:29,613 --> 00:02:31,488
Oh, and also the one device
in the entire world
74
00:02:31,488 --> 00:02:33,238
that doesn't have
Black Book on it.
75
00:02:33,238 --> 00:02:35,446
So, thanks, Dad.
Merry Christmas, faggot.
76
00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:37,863
Lainey:
Oh my God, kill yourself, Olivia.
77
00:02:37,863 --> 00:02:39,738
Just fucking
kill yourself.
78
00:02:39,738 --> 00:02:41,738
Have you seen
her Facebook profile?
79
00:02:41,738 --> 00:02:43,613
She's listing herself
as an artist.
80
00:02:43,613 --> 00:02:47,363
Listen, you dumb bitch,
just cutting up a Klimt coffee table book
81
00:02:47,363 --> 00:02:50,113
and making collages
does not make you an artist.
82
00:02:50,113 --> 00:02:51,988
Her Tumblr is actually
beautiful, though. Oh my God!
83
00:02:51,988 --> 00:02:54,863
Do not even say that.
You're just enabling her mediocrity.
84
00:02:54,863 --> 00:02:58,155
Hey, hey, dumb bitch,
your boyfriend tried to sleep with me
85
00:02:58,155 --> 00:03:01,530
after the Ginger and Rosa
screening. Idiot.
86
00:03:01,530 --> 00:03:03,155
Hey, man, are you going
to give us a discount
87
00:03:03,155 --> 00:03:04,780
since you were actually
two hours late for us?
88
00:03:04,780 --> 00:03:08,363
No. It's Friday night.
I'm very busy.
89
00:03:08,363 --> 00:03:11,030
Okay, calm down.
Okay, so it's $50?
90
00:03:11,030 --> 00:03:12,780
All right,
so, babe, money.
91
00:03:12,780 --> 00:03:14,655
No, I didn't take out
any cash today.
92
00:03:14,655 --> 00:03:16,780
I have $63 in my account.
I'm waiting on a paycheck.
93
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:18,780
Are you serious right now?
I don't even smoke.
94
00:03:18,780 --> 00:03:19,863
I'm not paying for this.
95
00:03:19,863 --> 00:03:21,613
We got this weed
because we told Erika--
96
00:03:21,613 --> 00:03:23,905
you told Erika that
we would trade her for coke.
97
00:03:23,905 --> 00:03:26,655
Okay, you're gonna
smoke half the bag before we even give it to her.
98
00:03:26,655 --> 00:03:28,780
So I'll shit out $50 right now?
Where am I going to get $50?
99
00:03:28,780 --> 00:03:30,780
Just-- Max, just go down
to the bodega.
100
00:03:30,780 --> 00:03:32,488
It's literally
a 45-second walk--
101
00:03:32,488 --> 00:03:35,738
No-- no bodega.
Because bodega takes $2, Chase takes $3.
102
00:03:35,738 --> 00:03:37,780
Go into overdraft immediately.
You are so ghetto.
103
00:03:37,780 --> 00:03:40,030
You guys need to have this shit
figured out before I get here.
104
00:03:40,030 --> 00:03:42,738
No, no, it's fine.
We'll just-- we'll all go to the Chase
105
00:03:42,738 --> 00:03:44,738
No. No, no, no, no.
or the Duane Reade together.
106
00:03:44,738 --> 00:03:46,030
That's not how it works, dude.
107
00:03:46,030 --> 00:03:48,280
Listen, why don't I
just stay here with her
108
00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:50,280
and you can go down
to the Duane Reade?
109
00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:52,363
Are you fucking serious
right now?
110
00:03:52,363 --> 00:03:55,780
I am not staying here alone
with a shady drug dealer.
111
00:03:59,155 --> 00:04:01,113
Man: Where are you?
Hey, man.
112
00:04:01,113 --> 00:04:03,655
Need to leave soon.
Yeah, it's taking a little while.
113
00:04:03,655 --> 00:04:05,780
I'll be there.
114
00:04:09,780 --> 00:04:11,905
About fucking time.
115
00:04:11,905 --> 00:04:13,655
Oh, I can't--
116
00:04:13,655 --> 00:04:15,863
Um, no!
117
00:04:15,863 --> 00:04:19,238
Bumped right into us!
Are you fucking kidding me?
118
00:04:19,238 --> 00:04:21,488
Max:
Oh, my god!
119
00:04:21,488 --> 00:04:24,030
Hey! Hey!
120
00:04:24,030 --> 00:04:25,905
Okay.
Are we doing this?
121
00:04:25,905 --> 00:04:27,905
Okay! Sorry,
that's our drug deal--
122
00:04:27,905 --> 00:04:29,655
Like an angel!
Max: You are so cute!
123
00:04:29,655 --> 00:04:31,405
(indistinct) Bye!
124
00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:35,405
(indistinct) He was at Bonnaroo
and he had a drug trip and it, like, changed him.
125
00:04:37,155 --> 00:04:38,655
Is that rose gold?
126
00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:43,113
Yeah.
Ugh! I love rose gold.
127
00:04:43,113 --> 00:04:46,155
When I get married,
I'm gonna get a rose-gold band
128
00:04:46,155 --> 00:04:48,530
with, like, black diamonds.
129
00:04:48,530 --> 00:04:49,905
Good.
130
00:04:49,905 --> 00:04:52,405
Thank you so much.
A-plus customer service from you.
131
00:04:52,405 --> 00:04:54,780
I wish I could tip you.
Uh, I have got to rally!
132
00:04:54,780 --> 00:04:56,863
I am so
not feeling this tonight.
133
00:04:56,863 --> 00:04:58,905
I know,
I feel like poop.
134
00:04:58,905 --> 00:05:00,738
(singing softly)
135
00:05:00,738 --> 00:05:02,780
Not cool, man.
What?
136
00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:04,905
You're gonna give me
50 more dollars?
137
00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:08,155
Why would I do that?
You know why.
138
00:05:08,155 --> 00:05:10,655
Oh my God, you guys.
Drama!
139
00:05:10,655 --> 00:05:12,863
What's going on?
Your friend knows what's going on.
140
00:05:12,863 --> 00:05:14,780
I really-- I don't know
what you're talking about.
141
00:05:14,780 --> 00:05:16,905
I came here with nine bags
and now I only have seven.
142
00:05:16,905 --> 00:05:18,905
So you either give me back
the one you took
143
00:05:18,905 --> 00:05:20,655
or you give me
another $50.
144
00:05:20,655 --> 00:05:22,030
Well, I took one from you,
145
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:24,363
which I literally
just paid you for.
146
00:05:24,363 --> 00:05:25,863
So I think our transaction
is over
147
00:05:25,863 --> 00:05:27,613
and you should be walking
out of my door right now.
148
00:05:27,613 --> 00:05:30,113
Just give it back.
I'm not gonna do anything.
149
00:05:30,113 --> 00:05:31,780
Just give it back or--
150
00:05:31,780 --> 00:05:35,905
Or what? You're going
to call the police?
151
00:05:35,905 --> 00:05:38,405
File a report?
152
00:05:39,863 --> 00:05:42,488
You know what? Fuck it.
You can have it.
153
00:05:42,488 --> 00:05:44,988
And I hope you enjoy it
because you're blacklisted now.
154
00:05:44,988 --> 00:05:46,363
Have a good night, assholes.
155
00:05:46,363 --> 00:05:47,738
Yeah, you smell
like dick cheese.
156
00:05:47,738 --> 00:05:49,280
You were molested
as a kid.
157
00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:51,905
I like this,
so I'm gonna take it.
158
00:05:51,905 --> 00:05:54,530
Thanks for the tip,
chuckleheads.
159
00:05:54,530 --> 00:05:55,780
(door closes)
160
00:05:55,780 --> 00:05:57,613
It's okay,
I took three bags.
161
00:05:57,613 --> 00:06:00,905
That stupid stoner
doesn't even know how to count.
162
00:06:00,905 --> 00:06:04,655
How do you think he knew
you were molested?
163
00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:19,155
? You gotta, you gotta,
you gotta?
164
00:06:19,155 --> 00:06:21,280
? You gotta, you gotta,
you gotta ?
165
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:23,488
? To look the part ?
166
00:06:23,488 --> 00:06:25,280
? How to appear ?
167
00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:26,738
? How to disappear ?
168
00:06:26,738 --> 00:06:28,238
? How to appear ?
169
00:06:28,238 --> 00:06:29,988
? How to disappear ?
170
00:06:29,988 --> 00:06:31,988
? You've got
to look the part ?
171
00:06:31,988 --> 00:06:34,405
? You've got to look
the part ?
172
00:06:36,655 --> 00:06:38,238
? How to disappear ?
173
00:06:38,238 --> 00:06:40,113
? How to reappear... ?
174
00:06:40,113 --> 00:06:41,613
? How to disappear ?
175
00:06:41,663 --> 00:06:46,213
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