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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:06,343 [snoring] 2 00:00:06,379 --> 00:00:07,931 [phone vibrating] 3 00:00:11,936 --> 00:00:14,436 [vibrating continues] 4 00:00:17,485 --> 00:00:19,094 _ 5 00:00:20,625 --> 00:00:22,252 - [sighs] - [voice mail]: Hi. You've reached Anja, 6 00:00:22,276 --> 00:00:24,040 and you're probably my mom, dad or grandma, 7 00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:26,881 so just feel free to leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can. 8 00:00:26,905 --> 00:00:28,173 Thanks. [beep] 9 00:00:28,197 --> 00:00:30,594 Woman [over phone]: Anja, I wish you'd change your outgoing message. 10 00:00:30,618 --> 00:00:32,418 It's not very professional. 11 00:00:32,443 --> 00:00:34,828 How do you know it's me, Dad, or Noni calling? 12 00:00:34,853 --> 00:00:36,979 - Anyway, I sent this in an e-mail, - [Anja coughs] 13 00:00:37,014 --> 00:00:39,347 that the woman you should call is Barbara Horne. 14 00:00:39,389 --> 00:00:41,289 - H-O-R-N-E. - _ 15 00:00:41,318 --> 00:00:44,352 She's been at the top of God knows how many publications 16 00:00:44,387 --> 00:00:46,254 and she's the real deal, honey. All right? 17 00:00:46,289 --> 00:00:48,423 I told her about your NYU column. 18 00:00:48,459 --> 00:00:51,125 She's expecting your call, so call her please. 19 00:00:51,161 --> 00:00:53,763 Do not e-mail. But like I said, 20 00:00:53,788 --> 00:00:56,830 just see if you can take her to lunch, pick her brain, whatever. 21 00:00:56,865 --> 00:01:00,100 She's kind of a pain in the ass, but, you know, she's very major. 22 00:01:00,127 --> 00:01:03,937 Uh, anyway, there you go. You're welcome. Um, what else? 23 00:01:03,962 --> 00:01:05,805 Uh, not much happening over here. 24 00:01:05,841 --> 00:01:09,343 Dad and I walked down to the lake with Rosie this morning. 25 00:01:09,378 --> 00:01:10,844 - She had a tough time. - _ 26 00:01:10,870 --> 00:01:14,444 I think we're gonna have to put her down soon so of course, Daddy's a wreck. 27 00:01:14,478 --> 00:01:15,868 But if you want to see her, 28 00:01:15,893 --> 00:01:17,761 - you should come visit. - Ow, ow, ow, 29 00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:19,884 Anyway, call us and call Barbara! 30 00:01:19,909 --> 00:01:22,288 ? Damn that valley ? 31 00:01:22,323 --> 00:01:24,950 ? Damn that valley ? 32 00:01:24,975 --> 00:01:27,276 ? Damn that valley ? 33 00:01:27,301 --> 00:01:30,434 ? Where is my man? ? 34 00:01:30,459 --> 00:01:33,060 ? Damn that valley ? 35 00:01:33,085 --> 00:01:34,985 ? Damn that valley ? 36 00:01:38,092 --> 00:01:41,026 ? Soldier boy ? 37 00:01:41,051 --> 00:01:43,985 - [line ringing] - ? Oh, it's over, it's really over ? 38 00:01:44,010 --> 00:01:46,677 - ? Carry me, I can't go it alone ? - _ 39 00:01:46,702 --> 00:01:48,902 ? Soldier stares in the valley below ? 40 00:01:48,927 --> 00:01:51,628 ? That's the valley that took my man from me ? 41 00:01:51,926 --> 00:01:53,396 [voice mail] Hello, this is Barbara Horne. 42 00:01:53,420 --> 00:01:56,165 I'm not available to take your call, but if you leave a detailed message, 43 00:01:56,189 --> 00:01:58,298 I'll be sure to get back to you at my earliest convenience. 44 00:01:58,322 --> 00:02:00,470 Have a great day. [beep] 45 00:02:00,694 --> 00:02:04,496 [voice mail]: Hi, Barbara, This is Anja Jacobs, Judy and Ron's daughter. 46 00:02:04,531 --> 00:02:07,865 I'd love to, uh, set something... 47 00:02:07,901 --> 00:02:09,334 Fuck! [beep] 48 00:02:09,368 --> 00:02:11,675 Automated voice: To save your message, press the pound key. 49 00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:13,885 To listen to your message, press one. 50 00:02:13,910 --> 00:02:16,241 - To rerecord your message, press three. - _ 51 00:02:16,276 --> 00:02:19,644 Please record your message after the tone. [beep] 52 00:02:19,689 --> 00:02:21,656 Weird time in the season to shop. 53 00:02:21,681 --> 00:02:24,114 [voice mail]: Hi there. Uh, this is Anja Jacobs, 54 00:02:24,150 --> 00:02:25,384 - Ron and Judy's daughter. - Thank you! 55 00:02:25,408 --> 00:02:28,452 I think you're expecting my call. Uh... [chuckles] hi. 56 00:02:28,479 --> 00:02:31,748 Uh, I'd love to set up a time to take you out to lunch 57 00:02:31,791 --> 00:02:35,426 and, like, pick your brain about the business and all of that. 58 00:02:35,461 --> 00:02:37,410 Oh, my mom also gave me your e-mail, 59 00:02:37,435 --> 00:02:40,064 so I can send you my contact info there as well. 60 00:02:40,099 --> 00:02:43,300 Uh... oh, as well as, uh, relevant links to me and my work. 61 00:02:43,325 --> 00:02:45,262 - Sorry. - I have these like, Kardashian recaps 62 00:02:45,287 --> 00:02:47,491 I've been doing sort of just like, for fun. Um... 63 00:02:47,516 --> 00:02:50,795 All right, so thank you and I hope to meet you soon. Peace! 64 00:02:50,820 --> 00:02:53,355 ? Took my man from me ? 65 00:02:53,951 --> 00:02:57,083 [murmuring voices] 66 00:02:57,148 --> 00:03:01,084 [soothing instrumental music playing] 67 00:03:14,765 --> 00:03:15,931 Psst. 68 00:03:29,132 --> 00:03:30,537 _ 69 00:03:41,225 --> 00:03:44,126 [patrons chattering] 70 00:03:48,338 --> 00:03:50,306 _ 71 00:03:55,038 --> 00:03:57,049 Carrie Bradshaw [on computer]: As I contemplated the fact 72 00:03:57,073 --> 00:04:00,675 that my relationship had gone to pot, literally, 73 00:04:00,710 --> 00:04:03,978 I realized no high or low 74 00:04:04,014 --> 00:04:07,048 would make this day any day other 75 00:04:07,083 --> 00:04:10,351 than the day I got broken up with by a post-it. 76 00:04:10,425 --> 00:04:12,592 [police siren chirps] 77 00:04:23,899 --> 00:04:28,602 ? ? 78 00:04:44,153 --> 00:04:46,952 [police radio chatter] 79 00:04:48,423 --> 00:04:50,190 [overlapping chatter] 80 00:04:58,032 --> 00:04:59,653 Now let's keep the sidewalk clear. Come on. 81 00:04:59,677 --> 00:05:01,309 Ma'am, I need you to step back. 82 00:05:01,336 --> 00:05:04,436 [phone chirps] 83 00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:07,539 Hey, what's up? 84 00:05:07,575 --> 00:05:09,608 Anja: Thanks for agreeing to do this. 85 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,177 Yeah, it's not a big deal. 86 00:05:11,212 --> 00:05:13,598 I mean, as long as I'm anonymous, I don't really care. 87 00:05:13,623 --> 00:05:15,280 Yeah, no, of course. 88 00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:18,751 Of course. You will be completely anonymous. 89 00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:21,119 Um... uh... 90 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:24,397 do you mind if I take a picture of your weed though? 91 00:05:25,827 --> 00:05:27,759 I guess I'd rather you didn't. 92 00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:30,504 It's just I have all these, you know, labels 93 00:05:30,529 --> 00:05:33,304 and I don't want any identifying things on the Internet, you know what I mean? 94 00:05:33,328 --> 00:05:36,574 - Uh, yeah. Okay, that's... - Sorry. 95 00:05:36,599 --> 00:05:39,519 That's fine. Do you want some cold brew? 96 00:05:39,644 --> 00:05:41,701 Uh, no. I actually had two today, 97 00:05:41,726 --> 00:05:43,908 - so I'm good. - Oh, wow. 98 00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:46,044 This is, like, my sixth cup today. 99 00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,567 Um, okay. Ready? 100 00:05:47,592 --> 00:05:49,981 Okay, yeah. 101 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,716 - Okay. - Cool. 102 00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:54,796 - That's a lot of coffee. - Gotta find the pages. 103 00:05:54,820 --> 00:05:56,287 One second. 104 00:05:56,322 --> 00:05:58,446 - Shit. - Yeah. 105 00:05:58,471 --> 00:06:00,524 - There we go. - There you go. 106 00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,024 - Um, all right. Ready? - Yeah. 107 00:06:03,049 --> 00:06:04,828 This is a safe space. 108 00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:11,201 So... you're a pot dealer. 109 00:06:11,706 --> 00:06:13,239 What's that like? 110 00:06:14,073 --> 00:06:18,275 Uh, I just kind of bike around and, uh, people call me 111 00:06:18,310 --> 00:06:21,278 and... and then I bring them weed pretty much. 112 00:06:21,313 --> 00:06:22,880 It's kind of all there is to it. 113 00:06:22,915 --> 00:06:26,082 And, uh, where do you get your weed? 114 00:06:26,906 --> 00:06:30,287 Uh... I'm not gonna answer that one. Sorry. 115 00:06:30,551 --> 00:06:31,721 - Pass. - Okay. 116 00:06:31,757 --> 00:06:32,955 - Cool. - Mm-hmm. 117 00:06:32,991 --> 00:06:35,659 It's totally cool. Um... 118 00:06:35,694 --> 00:06:37,327 Have you ever been arrested? 119 00:06:37,362 --> 00:06:40,153 No, luckily not. Knock on wood. 120 00:06:40,178 --> 00:06:41,398 - Yeah. - Right? 121 00:06:41,433 --> 00:06:43,332 Yeah. Um... 122 00:06:43,367 --> 00:06:47,636 Do you feel like maybe that's because you're white? 123 00:06:50,988 --> 00:06:52,676 Uh, maybe. 124 00:06:52,817 --> 00:06:55,611 - Oh, shit. - Um... I... I mean, yeah, I guess 125 00:06:55,646 --> 00:06:58,214 - it has something to do with it. - Yeah, maybe. 126 00:06:58,249 --> 00:07:01,512 But, you know, it's also maybe 'cause I'm small potatoes 127 00:07:01,537 --> 00:07:03,035 - and, uh... - Yeah. 128 00:07:03,060 --> 00:07:05,176 I just deal a little weed and sometimes mushrooms, 129 00:07:05,201 --> 00:07:06,755 - so I'm not really... - Oh. Okay. 130 00:07:06,783 --> 00:07:08,282 So mushrooms as well? 131 00:07:08,609 --> 00:07:10,438 Yeah, I'm not really on their radar. 132 00:07:10,463 --> 00:07:12,628 Okay. Yeah. 133 00:07:12,663 --> 00:07:14,911 What about your, um, client list? 134 00:07:14,936 --> 00:07:18,033 Are they mostly white as well, like you? 135 00:07:18,068 --> 00:07:22,314 Well, uh, yeah, most of them are white actually. 136 00:07:22,339 --> 00:07:24,768 Now that I think about it. I haven't really thought about it before. 137 00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:26,441 There's... There's some... 138 00:07:26,476 --> 00:07:28,509 No, there's more than a few non-white customers. 139 00:07:28,545 --> 00:07:32,179 Why do you think that most of your clients are white? 140 00:07:32,215 --> 00:07:35,337 Hey, so what's with all the racial questions? 141 00:07:35,362 --> 00:07:37,267 Well, it's just that a... 142 00:07:37,292 --> 00:07:41,489 a disproportionate amount of people in prison for marijuana offenses are... 143 00:07:41,524 --> 00:07:45,089 are non-white, and I thought you might have something to say about that. 144 00:07:45,114 --> 00:07:49,014 I mean, that's cool. I understand. It's important, but, uh... 145 00:07:49,039 --> 00:07:50,965 just, uh, off the record, 146 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,399 when I sat down to do this, 147 00:07:52,434 --> 00:07:54,672 you said you wanted me to tell you some fun stories 148 00:07:54,697 --> 00:07:57,571 - about dealing weed, and not, uh... - Mm-hmm. 149 00:07:58,374 --> 00:07:59,806 race politics. 150 00:07:59,842 --> 00:08:01,837 - Yeah, I know, I know. - So like, just a heads up, you know? 151 00:08:01,861 --> 00:08:03,810 I'm sor... It's just that, um... 152 00:08:04,603 --> 00:08:08,982 I feel like there's a bigger point that we... you know, like, it's just... 153 00:08:09,017 --> 00:08:12,619 I'm trying to focus on, like, the, um, intersectionality 154 00:08:12,654 --> 00:08:16,736 of, like, race and pot in a post-prohibition era. 155 00:08:16,761 --> 00:08:19,158 And we will get to the anecdotes. Um... 156 00:08:19,186 --> 00:08:22,787 I just felt like I would be remiss as an interviewer 157 00:08:22,830 --> 00:08:26,165 if I didn't cover this very important part of the subject. 158 00:08:26,208 --> 00:08:30,269 Like blacks in Iowa are 8.3% more likely to get arrested 159 00:08:30,294 --> 00:08:33,300 for... for possession and dealing than... than bla... than whites. 160 00:08:33,325 --> 00:08:36,675 And, and I just... I felt like it was important to highlight 161 00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:39,812 how race might affect your experience of your job. 162 00:08:39,847 --> 00:08:40,979 - It is important. - Yeah. 163 00:08:41,015 --> 00:08:42,948 - [phone rings] - I'm sorry. Um, uh... 164 00:08:42,983 --> 00:08:44,850 Do you... Would you actually just... 165 00:08:44,886 --> 00:08:47,019 - uh, excuse me for a second? - [ringing continues] 166 00:08:47,054 --> 00:08:48,737 - Okay. - Sorry, I just... 167 00:08:48,769 --> 00:08:52,249 I gotta, uh, take this. It's for work Um, it's just gonna be one second. 168 00:08:52,274 --> 00:08:54,092 I'll be right back. 169 00:08:54,476 --> 00:08:55,538 Hello? 170 00:08:55,865 --> 00:08:57,456 - Whoa, dude. - Hi, Barbara! 171 00:08:57,481 --> 00:08:59,220 Thanks for calling me back! 172 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,444 Oh, my gosh, 173 00:09:02,469 --> 00:09:04,669 it's like, so nice that you called back at all! 174 00:09:04,704 --> 00:09:07,272 I mean, my mom's been talking about you for a while, 175 00:09:07,300 --> 00:09:11,265 and, uh, to be honest, I didn't even really know who you were, who you are. 176 00:09:11,299 --> 00:09:12,955 But then I Googled you and I was like, 177 00:09:12,980 --> 00:09:14,003 - "Wow... - Okay, here we go. 178 00:09:14,027 --> 00:09:15,994 "this woman is like fucking legit!" 179 00:09:16,875 --> 00:09:19,784 Right. So I was hoping to find the time to like, 180 00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:23,242 - buy you coffee and pick your brain. - The Guy: Oh, fuck you. 181 00:09:24,090 --> 00:09:26,475 - Oh, no. - Okay, um... 182 00:09:27,327 --> 00:09:28,960 In that case, can I, 183 00:09:28,995 --> 00:09:31,128 um, can I call you tomorrow again? 184 00:09:31,156 --> 00:09:33,756 I'm actually in the middle of... 185 00:09:33,799 --> 00:09:35,836 [conversation continues indistinctly] 186 00:09:35,861 --> 00:09:38,869 No, that's okay. Thank you. 187 00:09:38,904 --> 00:09:41,000 Good night. Oh, and thanks again! 188 00:09:44,510 --> 00:09:48,211 I'm sorry. Um, where... where were we? 189 00:09:49,682 --> 00:09:52,215 Um, uh, is everything okay? 190 00:09:52,250 --> 00:09:54,517 I'm gonna need you to erase that Instagram. 191 00:09:55,588 --> 00:09:58,254 - Right. - Please. 192 00:10:45,069 --> 00:10:47,036 [crying] 193 00:11:24,444 --> 00:11:27,340 Reporter: Hungary and Croatia continue to turn away migrants. 194 00:11:27,376 --> 00:11:31,111 Many are finding their way north through Europe's central eastern corridor, 195 00:11:31,146 --> 00:11:33,213 while countries like Serbia and Bulgaria 196 00:11:33,248 --> 00:11:35,082 are struggling to keep their borders sealed. 197 00:11:35,709 --> 00:11:39,053 - The European Union continues... - Is it ready? 198 00:11:39,088 --> 00:11:40,857 Thank you, Ida. 199 00:11:40,882 --> 00:11:43,716 [TV continues indistinctly] 200 00:11:52,468 --> 00:11:55,235 - Good morning, babe. - [groans] 201 00:11:55,270 --> 00:11:57,704 - What time is it? - It's around 9:00. 202 00:11:57,739 --> 00:12:01,207 Ida made you those breakfast perogies you love. 203 00:12:02,543 --> 00:12:04,110 I love Ida. 204 00:12:04,145 --> 00:12:05,945 Yeah. Ida loves you. 205 00:12:06,875 --> 00:12:08,280 No, no, no. Ugh. 206 00:12:08,307 --> 00:12:12,384 - My mouth tastes like a cat shit in it. - Oh, no, I love that. Come here. 207 00:12:12,420 --> 00:12:14,153 - [chuckles] - Mm... 208 00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:15,839 - Sick. - Mm. 209 00:12:15,864 --> 00:12:18,171 Mm, it's so good, in fact. 210 00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:19,492 - Mm. - Mm. 211 00:12:19,527 --> 00:12:21,442 - Morning. - Good morning. 212 00:12:21,467 --> 00:12:22,728 Mm. 213 00:12:22,753 --> 00:12:24,786 - Don't go to work. - Oh, I know. 214 00:12:24,839 --> 00:12:27,640 I don't want to, but I... want to marry you right now. 215 00:12:27,668 --> 00:12:29,192 - No, not yet. - Wanna get married right now? 216 00:12:29,216 --> 00:12:31,069 - Not yet. - I gotta wait? Okay, I'll wait. 217 00:12:31,105 --> 00:12:32,437 I gotta go. Mm. Love you. 218 00:12:32,472 --> 00:12:33,872 - Bye. - Bye. 219 00:12:39,479 --> 00:12:44,149 Hey, Nihal, are we still going to Marta for the black truffle pizza? 220 00:12:44,184 --> 00:12:47,982 Hell yeah! Brenda made us a rezzie for eight. Love ya! 221 00:12:48,087 --> 00:12:49,842 Love you. 222 00:12:50,923 --> 00:12:53,024 Reporter: Now, using a dating app to find romance 223 00:12:53,059 --> 00:12:56,027 may have become the norm for finding love in the modern age, 224 00:12:56,054 --> 00:13:00,278 but this next fall comedy might have you think twice before swiping right. 225 00:13:00,303 --> 00:13:01,583 It's called "Homeless Helga" 226 00:13:01,608 --> 00:13:05,036 and it stars "Orange Is the New Black's" Kimiko Glenn as Helga, 227 00:13:05,063 --> 00:13:06,763 who's, you guessed it, homeless. 228 00:13:07,290 --> 00:13:10,158 Mm, ain't nobody got time for this. 229 00:13:10,313 --> 00:13:12,376 Can we get the lobster mac and cheese, 230 00:13:12,411 --> 00:13:14,511 lamb face tacos, and a bottle of Dom? 231 00:13:14,547 --> 00:13:17,782 Reporter: Now, on the surface, Helga looks anything but homeless. 232 00:13:17,817 --> 00:13:19,916 She's adorable and put together, 233 00:13:19,951 --> 00:13:22,519 but she secretly scams guys she meets online 234 00:13:22,555 --> 00:13:25,422 into buying her meals and letting her crash. 235 00:13:25,457 --> 00:13:28,625 So I met this girl on "What's Up, Cupid." I think I'm falling in love. 236 00:13:28,661 --> 00:13:30,794 Her victims are totally oblivious 237 00:13:30,829 --> 00:13:33,197 as Helga blinds them with her adorable charm. 238 00:13:33,617 --> 00:13:35,198 Almost done, baby. 239 00:13:35,233 --> 00:13:38,338 Yay. Let's order tacos, dum-dum. 240 00:13:38,374 --> 00:13:39,941 - Okay. I'll pay. - [gasps] 241 00:13:39,966 --> 00:13:43,997 It's working out well for her, but some people are on to Helga and her tricks. 242 00:13:44,022 --> 00:13:47,896 I play Matt's weed dealer, and he tells Matt in the pilot 243 00:13:47,921 --> 00:13:51,114 that Helga is actually homeless. 244 00:13:51,149 --> 00:13:54,119 She's called Homeless Helga, bro. 245 00:13:54,144 --> 00:13:56,185 - Uh-uh. - I would definitely say 246 00:13:56,219 --> 00:13:58,785 that Brooklyn is a character in this show without a doubt. 247 00:13:58,819 --> 00:13:59,937 Matt: You can stay as long as you want. 248 00:13:59,961 --> 00:14:01,496 Helga: Maybe I should just move in. 249 00:14:01,521 --> 00:14:03,003 - [Helga giggles] - Reporter: Be sure to tune in 250 00:14:03,027 --> 00:14:04,740 for this hilarious hipster comedy. 251 00:14:05,302 --> 00:14:07,302 Yaaas! 252 00:14:08,232 --> 00:14:10,011 Reporter: That really does make me think twice 253 00:14:10,035 --> 00:14:12,201 - about online dating. - What the fuck? 254 00:14:12,236 --> 00:14:13,884 [theme music playing] 255 00:14:14,130 --> 00:14:15,832 _ 256 00:14:24,248 --> 00:14:25,813 Oh, my God! 257 00:14:25,849 --> 00:14:28,717 Mark! I thought that was you. 258 00:14:28,752 --> 00:14:30,719 - Hello. - How's it going, buddy? 259 00:14:30,754 --> 00:14:31,974 It's been so long! 260 00:14:31,999 --> 00:14:34,322 I'm sorry, but do we know each other? 261 00:14:34,358 --> 00:14:35,624 - Uh... - Oh. 262 00:14:35,659 --> 00:14:37,403 Well, I'm glad you and your Hollywood friends 263 00:14:37,427 --> 00:14:39,661 finally realized I was gonna sue your fucking face off 264 00:14:39,696 --> 00:14:41,662 for getting rich off of my fucking life story! 265 00:14:41,689 --> 00:14:44,616 Yeah, I... I'm sorry, but I... I don't know who you are. 266 00:14:44,641 --> 00:14:46,667 Oh, okay. Listen, shithead, 267 00:14:47,026 --> 00:14:49,886 pretending that I didn't endure two weeks of your stupid jokes 268 00:14:49,911 --> 00:14:52,618 and your stupid fucking shitty railroad apartment, isn't gonna happen. 269 00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:54,708 Look, I can't say that I know what you're talking about, Miss. 270 00:14:54,732 --> 00:14:56,856 You see, I recently came into a bit of monetary success, 271 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:59,057 and, well, now all sorts of people are crawling out of the woodwork 272 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:00,586 and it kind of sounds like you're looking for a payday too. 273 00:15:00,610 --> 00:15:02,241 Does that sound right or... 274 00:15:02,266 --> 00:15:04,032 [screams] 275 00:15:04,793 --> 00:15:06,681 - Are you fucking kidding me? - Okay, look... 276 00:15:06,706 --> 00:15:08,704 - I don't need your money! - But I will say that 277 00:15:08,705 --> 00:15:11,395 if you and I were to spend a whole week in my apartment together, alone, 278 00:15:11,419 --> 00:15:12,879 ordering take-out and only going out at night 279 00:15:12,903 --> 00:15:14,063 to drink in dark places by ourselves, 280 00:15:14,087 --> 00:15:15,977 then I'm sure there'd be no one there to back up your story. 281 00:15:16,001 --> 00:15:17,731 - Oh. - Which never happened. 282 00:15:17,766 --> 00:15:20,333 Oh, well... Oh, you fucking idiot! 283 00:15:20,368 --> 00:15:25,105 Watch out! Watch out 'cause my fucking lawyer's serving your ass! 284 00:15:25,140 --> 00:15:29,609 Kimiko Glenn's not even Korean, you fucking racist! 285 00:15:34,703 --> 00:15:36,708 - Ilana: A literal monster. - Lincoln: I didn't know 286 00:15:36,732 --> 00:15:37,864 - you had it in there. - [phone rings] 287 00:15:37,888 --> 00:15:39,686 And I'm in that mouth on a regular basis. 288 00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:41,115 Well, I heard it on a dog phone, 289 00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:43,055 so I don't tell that many people, to be honest. 290 00:15:43,090 --> 00:15:44,123 What's up? 291 00:15:44,158 --> 00:15:45,825 Heidi: Sup? What you doing? 292 00:15:45,860 --> 00:15:49,661 Yeah, I'm just chilling. Rewatching some of my epic "Broad City" performances. 293 00:15:49,697 --> 00:15:51,596 Oh. Interesting. 294 00:15:51,632 --> 00:15:53,398 Yeah, hey, quick question: 295 00:15:53,434 --> 00:15:57,102 do you remember that guy, um, who used to sell us weed 296 00:15:57,138 --> 00:15:59,705 back when I was living with you? Do you have his number? 297 00:15:59,740 --> 00:16:01,506 ? ? 298 00:16:17,458 --> 00:16:19,458 Resetting. Resetting. 299 00:16:21,794 --> 00:16:24,128 Still rolling. Reset please. Resetting. Still rolling. 300 00:16:24,164 --> 00:16:25,674 Man [over radio]: Okay, that's a reset. 301 00:16:25,698 --> 00:16:28,366 Resetting. We are resetting. Copy that. 302 00:16:32,173 --> 00:16:34,377 Man [over radio]: Okay, guys, those last couple of cars are passing through, 303 00:16:34,401 --> 00:16:37,808 - so when they do, let's lock it up. - Cool. Lock it up. Lockin' it up. 304 00:16:37,844 --> 00:16:39,881 We don't have to do anything! 305 00:16:40,498 --> 00:16:43,482 Ready. Here we go. Rolling. 306 00:16:43,507 --> 00:16:45,516 Okay. Rolling. Copy that. 307 00:16:47,553 --> 00:16:49,953 Action. Copy that. Have a good take. 308 00:16:49,989 --> 00:16:51,367 Aaron, don't tell us to have a good take. 309 00:16:51,391 --> 00:16:53,123 Awesome. Sorry about that. Copy that. 310 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:55,267 Don't say "copy" to everything. 311 00:17:02,301 --> 00:17:03,500 Oh, I... I... I... 312 00:17:03,535 --> 00:17:06,603 Actually, uh, I can't let you come through here right now 313 00:17:06,638 --> 00:17:08,338 'cause we're rolling, you know? 314 00:17:08,374 --> 00:17:10,407 Oh. 315 00:17:10,442 --> 00:17:12,942 Okay, I'm going in that building right there though. 316 00:17:12,977 --> 00:17:14,310 It's behind camera. 317 00:17:14,345 --> 00:17:16,078 - Can I... - Yeah, let me... 318 00:17:16,114 --> 00:17:17,592 - Do you mind if I check on that? - Yeah. 319 00:17:17,616 --> 00:17:18,648 Okay. 320 00:17:18,693 --> 00:17:20,427 Hey, um, this is Aaron. 321 00:17:20,452 --> 00:17:25,795 I actually have a bicyclist that needs to get to a building behind the camera. 322 00:17:25,820 --> 00:17:27,489 Is it okay if I let him through? 323 00:17:28,526 --> 00:17:29,837 Man [over radio]: No, we're rolling. 324 00:17:29,861 --> 00:17:32,328 No, no one's in, so copy that. I was thinking the same thing. 325 00:17:32,363 --> 00:17:35,398 Actually I have to ask you to wait till we cut. 326 00:17:35,433 --> 00:17:37,095 If that's okay? 327 00:17:38,261 --> 00:17:40,929 - That guy just walked by. - Yeah. Sir? 328 00:17:40,972 --> 00:17:43,383 - You can't get 'em every time. - Yeah. 329 00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:46,864 Yeah, but I think actually my job is to do that. 330 00:17:47,812 --> 00:17:49,044 You got me. 331 00:17:49,079 --> 00:17:50,879 Yeah. [chuckles] 332 00:17:51,055 --> 00:17:53,188 And I'm never letting you go. [chuckles] 333 00:17:55,052 --> 00:17:56,369 No, I'll let you go when they just say 334 00:17:56,393 --> 00:17:58,288 they've stopped rolling, and then I'll let you go. 335 00:17:58,312 --> 00:17:59,567 Okay. 336 00:17:59,592 --> 00:18:01,392 [car alarm chirps] 337 00:18:02,065 --> 00:18:03,264 Ooh! [stammers] 338 00:18:03,289 --> 00:18:04,655 Yup. Okay. 339 00:18:06,997 --> 00:18:09,197 Oh, actually, sir... 340 00:18:12,408 --> 00:18:13,579 Man [on radio]: That's a cut. That's a cut. 341 00:18:13,603 --> 00:18:16,275 Oh, that's a cut. Copy that. Back to one. Good stuff. 342 00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:18,439 - All right, well, thanks, Aaron. - Awesome, man. 343 00:18:20,687 --> 00:18:23,444 - You're doing great, man. - I'm really not. 344 00:18:24,124 --> 00:18:25,045 - Hey, man. - What's up, man? 345 00:18:25,081 --> 00:18:26,633 - How's it going? - How are you doing, man? 346 00:18:26,657 --> 00:18:27,794 Doing all right, doing all right. 347 00:18:27,818 --> 00:18:30,051 - They're shooting "Girls" outside. - I know, man. 348 00:18:30,076 --> 00:18:32,815 I tried to get a cameo, but, you know, per my Comedy Central deal, 349 00:18:32,850 --> 00:18:35,689 I can only do a couple guest spots per year. 350 00:18:35,724 --> 00:18:37,257 Ah, well. You remember Heidi. 351 00:18:37,282 --> 00:18:38,848 - Yeah. Hi. - Sup? 352 00:18:38,894 --> 00:18:41,058 - How are you doin'? - Mm, good. 353 00:18:41,518 --> 00:18:44,526 So what do you guys want today? I got, uh... 354 00:18:44,678 --> 00:18:47,360 - I'm carrying pens now. - Oh, nice. 355 00:18:47,385 --> 00:18:51,905 And I got some edibles and, uh, of course I have just plain ol' flowers. 356 00:18:51,950 --> 00:18:54,518 - Heidi: Oh, cool. - Cool case, man. 357 00:18:54,543 --> 00:18:58,218 Thank you. You know, the cops, they can't ask you to unlock it. 358 00:18:58,254 --> 00:18:59,541 - Really? - Yeah. 359 00:18:59,566 --> 00:19:01,019 - Oh, that's cool. - Yeah. There you go. 360 00:19:01,043 --> 00:19:02,347 - Boom. - Oh, my God. 361 00:19:02,372 --> 00:19:03,682 - Yeah. - Beautiful. 362 00:19:03,718 --> 00:19:06,050 Okay, so these are sativas, these are indicas. 363 00:19:06,075 --> 00:19:10,589 These are 25, 50, 75, 15, 15. 364 00:19:10,625 --> 00:19:15,128 Hey, so remember that guy Mark that you used to sell to? 365 00:19:15,163 --> 00:19:19,598 Um, I kind of need you to testify that you saw us together. 366 00:19:20,902 --> 00:19:22,300 What? 367 00:19:22,336 --> 00:19:24,136 I just need you to whatever. 368 00:19:24,171 --> 00:19:26,672 Just say that you saw us once in front of lawyers. 369 00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:29,708 You want me to testify in court that I'm a weed dealer 370 00:19:29,744 --> 00:19:31,941 and that I saw you scamming one of my clients? 371 00:19:31,966 --> 00:19:33,913 Not in court, no. 372 00:19:33,948 --> 00:19:38,283 It's a taped deposition, so you just show up and say, "Hey." 373 00:19:38,318 --> 00:19:39,662 And if they ask you about your weed, 374 00:19:39,686 --> 00:19:41,986 my lawyer says you just plead the Fifth or whatever. 375 00:19:42,022 --> 00:19:43,866 - Okay. That's... that's... - It's just like, yeah. 376 00:19:43,890 --> 00:19:44,822 - Cool. - Yeah. 377 00:19:44,858 --> 00:19:47,466 - I'm not gonna do it. - [laughs] 378 00:19:47,491 --> 00:19:50,662 I'm calling out the Fifth Amendment for my rights, I guess. 379 00:19:50,687 --> 00:19:52,540 - Yeah. You invited me. - Dude! 380 00:19:52,899 --> 00:19:56,834 That fucking dingle-butt stole my intellectual property 381 00:19:56,870 --> 00:19:58,844 and is making a shit-ton of money off of me, okay? 382 00:19:58,869 --> 00:20:02,040 - That's not cool. Come on. - It's like "The Social Network." 383 00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:04,976 He's Mark Zuckerberg and she's the Winklevoss twins. 384 00:20:05,254 --> 00:20:06,285 I think you mean that... 385 00:20:06,318 --> 00:20:08,285 - she's Mark Zuckerberg... - She's Mark Zucker... 386 00:20:08,310 --> 00:20:09,605 No, she's the Winklevoss twins. 387 00:20:09,630 --> 00:20:11,166 - She's the... I don't know... - You're right. Yeah. 388 00:20:11,190 --> 00:20:13,817 - Okay, okay, okay, hey, hey. - The Guy: I think it works. 389 00:20:14,023 --> 00:20:15,523 I am homeless. 390 00:20:16,755 --> 00:20:19,354 This settlement could change my life. 391 00:20:19,925 --> 00:20:24,427 Yeah, but you're, like, homeless by choice though, right? 392 00:20:24,927 --> 00:20:27,998 Which is your business and, I don't know, 393 00:20:28,033 --> 00:20:31,240 I don't want to be on record as a weed dealer so I can help, a... 394 00:20:31,265 --> 00:20:33,336 Vagabond vagina peddler? 395 00:20:33,620 --> 00:20:35,265 Oh, damn. I didn't... 396 00:20:35,574 --> 00:20:36,782 That's not nice. 397 00:20:36,807 --> 00:20:39,042 - Yeah, I wasn't gonna say that, man. - Sex gypsy? 398 00:20:39,594 --> 00:20:41,789 - Oh. Well... - Or like a... 399 00:20:41,822 --> 00:20:43,554 - I didn't say sex gypsy. - Excuse me. 400 00:20:43,582 --> 00:20:45,393 - I just heard somebody else say it. - Are you finished 401 00:20:45,417 --> 00:20:46,782 with your slut shaming? 402 00:20:46,818 --> 00:20:48,384 - We're not slut shaming. - Huh? 403 00:20:48,420 --> 00:20:49,577 - I wouldn't say... - Uh, I don't know... 404 00:20:49,601 --> 00:20:51,787 Felt like it! Whenever you're finished 405 00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:53,967 shaming me for my sexuality... 406 00:20:53,992 --> 00:20:57,192 - It's just sensitive times. - I have something to show you. 407 00:20:57,228 --> 00:20:58,794 I play the role of Guy. 408 00:20:58,830 --> 00:21:00,229 - Uh, he is... - Oh, Brett Gelman. 409 00:21:00,272 --> 00:21:04,033 Matt's weed dealer. And in the pilot, he tells Matt that Helga is homeless, 410 00:21:04,068 --> 00:21:07,003 and they kind of join forces to expose her. 411 00:21:07,482 --> 00:21:09,648 No, what do you mean she's homeless, dude? 412 00:21:10,349 --> 00:21:12,449 - Sin casa, bro. - And I love the role. 413 00:21:12,476 --> 00:21:14,698 - He's kind of that comic relief. And... - Oh, fuck. 414 00:21:14,733 --> 00:21:16,356 - the straight man in the show. - What the fuck? 415 00:21:16,380 --> 00:21:17,964 You know, he gets to be the guy who goes [imitates fart] 416 00:21:17,988 --> 00:21:21,003 but also the guy who goes, "Hey, that stinks!" You know? 417 00:21:21,028 --> 00:21:24,653 - [man laughing] - Yeah! How about Vietnamese? 418 00:21:24,688 --> 00:21:27,789 [laughter continues] 419 00:21:27,824 --> 00:21:29,258 So happy you're amused. 420 00:21:29,293 --> 00:21:30,661 - It's very well-written. - Thank you. 421 00:21:30,685 --> 00:21:33,285 Yeah, because it's my life, actually. 422 00:21:33,329 --> 00:21:35,897 Listen, Ms. Park, are you able to offer physical proof 423 00:21:35,932 --> 00:21:37,539 that you ever spent time with Mr. Greene? 424 00:21:37,564 --> 00:21:40,879 Yes. We have printouts of all of our correspondences 425 00:21:40,904 --> 00:21:43,071 on OkCupid, and I think you will see 426 00:21:43,106 --> 00:21:45,348 that Mark and I have had several exchanges 427 00:21:45,373 --> 00:21:47,208 since we, uh... before we met up. 428 00:21:47,245 --> 00:21:51,932 We also have a printout of my inbox if you'd like to take a look at that... 429 00:21:51,956 --> 00:21:53,501 - Ms. Park? - as well. Yes? 430 00:21:53,526 --> 00:21:56,034 Ms. Park, do you have proof that you actually, 431 00:21:56,059 --> 00:21:58,486 physically, spent time together? 432 00:21:58,521 --> 00:22:00,925 My client was, well, let's just say he was rather active 433 00:22:00,950 --> 00:22:03,919 in the online dating community at the time you say you were lovers. 434 00:22:04,185 --> 00:22:07,052 He was corresponding with a number of women three years ago. 435 00:22:07,077 --> 00:22:08,239 Oh. 436 00:22:09,298 --> 00:22:11,381 You mean private stuff, like he only has one ball? 437 00:22:11,561 --> 00:22:13,094 Stuff like that? 438 00:22:13,736 --> 00:22:15,602 Like personal, private information? 439 00:22:15,637 --> 00:22:19,637 No, I don't know Heidi Park, nor am I acquainted with her drug dealer. 440 00:22:19,662 --> 00:22:21,908 There are a number of details in your screenplay 441 00:22:21,943 --> 00:22:24,744 that would tell us otherwise, Mr. Greene. 442 00:22:24,779 --> 00:22:27,780 It's incredible how many people think my work is about them. 443 00:22:27,816 --> 00:22:30,226 It's been very surprising, but I think that just, you know, 444 00:22:30,251 --> 00:22:32,819 speaks to the universality of my writing. 445 00:22:32,854 --> 00:22:34,688 I am surprised. 446 00:22:35,115 --> 00:22:39,726 The specificity of the details of your "Homeless Helga" series, 447 00:22:39,761 --> 00:22:42,161 the Germanic first name that starts with an H, 448 00:22:42,197 --> 00:22:46,674 the family-owned yogurt business, these details, sir, are... 449 00:22:47,468 --> 00:22:50,245 fabricated from your own imagination? 450 00:22:50,270 --> 00:22:51,436 Yeah. 451 00:22:51,806 --> 00:22:53,004 They were. 452 00:22:53,861 --> 00:22:58,497 ? ? 453 00:23:20,060 --> 00:23:21,618 The Guy: Yeah, um... 454 00:23:21,643 --> 00:23:22,774 We, uh... 455 00:23:22,799 --> 00:23:24,903 I did, uh, join him in his apartment 456 00:23:24,938 --> 00:23:27,767 a couple of times this year and the year before. Yes. 457 00:23:28,226 --> 00:23:31,376 Lawyer: And how would you characterize your relationship with Mr. Greene? 458 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:34,011 Would you say you were friends? 459 00:23:34,046 --> 00:23:37,882 I... wouldn't say we were close, 460 00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:41,319 but I would say we hung out a couple of times, yeah. 461 00:23:41,419 --> 00:23:44,032 Well, what were you doing when you would go to Mr. Greene's residence? 462 00:23:44,056 --> 00:23:45,615 You don't have to answer that. 463 00:23:46,754 --> 00:23:48,159 I don't have to answer that. 464 00:23:48,194 --> 00:23:50,694 Can you offer any proof that you have had any connection 465 00:23:50,729 --> 00:23:52,663 with Mr. Greene outside of this room? 466 00:23:52,947 --> 00:23:54,380 Oh, yeah. 467 00:23:55,768 --> 00:23:57,134 Right here. 468 00:23:58,082 --> 00:23:59,685 Do you have a photo of the two of you together? 469 00:23:59,709 --> 00:24:01,109 - Hold on, hold on. Hold on. - Okay. 470 00:24:05,411 --> 00:24:08,578 [phone rings] 471 00:24:11,378 --> 00:24:12,916 Uh-oh. 472 00:24:13,276 --> 00:24:14,918 So that's me, right? 473 00:24:14,953 --> 00:24:17,760 And my name comes up on there. It should be, like... 474 00:24:18,389 --> 00:24:20,656 - something to do with... - Yeah. 475 00:24:20,871 --> 00:24:23,405 Camera should get that too, right? 476 00:24:24,955 --> 00:24:26,411 The Guy: Yeah, so there you go. 477 00:24:32,523 --> 00:24:33,866 What you looking at? 478 00:24:34,249 --> 00:24:36,271 - Wedding pics. - Aww. 479 00:24:36,421 --> 00:24:38,841 - Look how cute I am. - I'm cute. 480 00:24:38,876 --> 00:24:41,143 - Oh, you are cute. Mm. - Look, I'm cute again here. 481 00:24:41,178 --> 00:24:43,512 - Look! You're not looking. - You look beautiful. 482 00:24:43,645 --> 00:24:45,326 You gonna take the Jitney out this morning or no? 483 00:24:45,350 --> 00:24:47,114 - Or you wanna come with me after work? - Mm, no, I'll meet you there. 484 00:24:47,138 --> 00:24:49,168 - I have a little thingy. - Yeah? Mm. 485 00:24:49,286 --> 00:24:51,053 - Mwah. - Okay. 486 00:24:51,088 --> 00:24:52,321 All right, I gotta go. 487 00:24:52,356 --> 00:24:54,022 - Okay, bye. - I love you. I love you. 488 00:24:54,058 --> 00:24:55,527 Both: Mm... 489 00:24:55,552 --> 00:24:57,059 - Mwah. - You're stupid. 490 00:24:57,084 --> 00:24:58,994 [laughs] Yes, I am. 491 00:24:59,357 --> 00:25:00,923 - Bye. - Bye. 492 00:25:05,744 --> 00:25:06,868 [sighs] 493 00:25:06,903 --> 00:25:09,838 ? ? 494 00:25:21,087 --> 00:25:22,907 - Look what we did. - No. 495 00:25:22,946 --> 00:25:25,381 No kitties. Well then let's try this again. 496 00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:47,374 Oh, my God, thank you so much. 497 00:25:48,724 --> 00:25:50,744 You hold it, press it. 498 00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:52,579 There you go. 499 00:25:52,615 --> 00:25:54,505 And now do auto set. Boop. 500 00:25:57,395 --> 00:26:00,144 [gasps] Look at that. 501 00:26:00,188 --> 00:26:01,914 Look. I got it open. 502 00:26:01,939 --> 00:26:05,091 I know. Look what you did. 503 00:26:05,127 --> 00:26:07,660 - Oh, no. - And I got this. 504 00:26:07,695 --> 00:26:09,335 You sure did. Hey, can you back up please? 505 00:26:09,364 --> 00:26:12,331 - Thank you. - I can't believe that I got it. 506 00:26:12,366 --> 00:26:15,000 - You did. - How did it do that? 507 00:26:15,036 --> 00:26:16,502 I don't know. 508 00:26:16,538 --> 00:26:18,404 It could be one of the kitties. 509 00:26:19,407 --> 00:26:20,840 Did you open it? 510 00:26:20,875 --> 00:26:23,576 No, I didn't because I'm not in there. 511 00:26:23,611 --> 00:26:25,812 - You're not in the phone? - Yup. 512 00:26:25,847 --> 00:26:27,512 ? ? 513 00:26:32,153 --> 00:26:35,487 ? Girl, somebody's watchin' ? 514 00:26:35,522 --> 00:26:37,522 ? When you're walkin' down the street ? 515 00:26:38,974 --> 00:26:41,827 ? When you move your butt ? 516 00:26:42,037 --> 00:26:44,796 ? And then it skips to the beat ? 517 00:26:45,866 --> 00:26:49,033 ? I got feeling in mind ? 518 00:26:49,069 --> 00:26:52,504 ? Like New York time ? 519 00:26:52,539 --> 00:26:55,774 ? And you move your butt ? 520 00:26:55,809 --> 00:26:59,377 ? And then my Benz break down ? 521 00:26:59,412 --> 00:27:01,645 ? I wanna save ya, persuade ya ? 522 00:27:01,681 --> 00:27:04,315 ? To do the 99 ? 523 00:27:06,486 --> 00:27:10,888 ? Like ice, your butt is like dice now, damn ? 524 00:27:16,929 --> 00:27:20,063 ? It's the way you feel ? 525 00:27:20,364 --> 00:27:22,432 ? When your body kneel ? 526 00:27:26,908 --> 00:27:30,407 ? So now you choose me ? 527 00:27:30,705 --> 00:27:32,476 ? It's the whisper that I miss ? 528 00:27:32,512 --> 00:27:34,844 ? When you do it like this ? 529 00:27:37,730 --> 00:27:41,584 ? Like ice, your butt is like dice now, damn ? 530 00:27:45,604 --> 00:27:49,650 Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb www.addic7ed.com 531 00:27:49,700 --> 00:27:54,250 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 41107

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