All language subtitles for Dead Boss s01e05.eng

- I now sentence you to twelve years.
- Objection!

I didn't kill Eric Bridges, I...

What about Justin?
He wouldn't just leave me here to rot.

I need to unlock here
before I can unlock her.

Call it women's intuition,
but that bitch is all over this.

- Oh, nice one.
- Yes!

You need to tell me exactly
what is going on.

Sync, corrected by icephoenix
www.addic7ed.com

Dear Maurice, thank you for your postcard.
In answer to your query,

yes, I have seen
Last Tango in Paris

but not recently enough to recall
that particular scene

you described in such vivid,
vivid detail.

So what news?
My lawyer Tony is now back on the case

and I'm all for second chances,
except with epilators.

What a waste of 30 quid.

He seems to believe
he's made a breakthrough.

What money?
I don't know anything about any money.

- Well, your colleagues will beg to differ.
- Which colleagues? Who?

I couldn't see their faces but
one of them seemed to be suggesting

you were a "lying slag"...

Tony! My reputation at work was
second-to-none.

Everyone respected me.

There is not one person in there who
thought anything other...

I bet it was Mary. Or Claire.

Well, the lawyer instinct
in me is strong.

- Could have been Sjilla.
- It tells me something fishy's happening there.

Well, what about Henry? We could
get him to find out what's going on.

No, we can't trust anybody!

Except maybe family.

Let's get Laura back in that office.

Working from the inside.

Henry, if you're not standing
in front of my desk in five seconds,

I will be using your arsehole
as a pencil sharpener

or your cock as a hole-punch.
Your choice.

Yes.

I caught this shady bitch snooping
around the office last night.

And she ain't saying diddly squat so
you better tell me what's going on.

Mary, what were you doing snooping
around the office last night?

As I told Mrs Bridges 72 times,
I was doing some research

for Secret Santa's bunny.

That explains everything, right?

If that's all, I've got an order of
cappuccino marble tiles to get off, so...

Of course.

Hello, is that the police?

Yeah, I'd like to report a break-in.
Oh, yeah, I did.

I got a really good look at her.
Yeah. 5'2'. Very late 40s.

Shifty-looking rat eyes. Virgin.

Looks like one of them witches
out of that kid's book The Witches.

Oh, hang on, I'll just ask her.

What were you doing breaking in
to the office, Mary?

I think we should talk.

- I'm still connected, Henry.
- Cheeseballs!

Well, it's that time of year again,
officers.

The annual prison choir sing-off.

This year we've been drawn against
HMP Woolley Grange Prison.

They have a reputation for
choral excellence

and reforming some of the most
disgusting nonces

and bum ticklers in the country.

Which means we are going to
have to up our game.

Can't have a repeat of last year,
can we, Frank?

Oh, come on. Everyone loves
nine fat girls on a see-saw.

So, Tim, I'd like you to conduct
the choir this year.

- You're pulling my dong.
- Wow!

I was not expecting this.

Oh, ma'am, I'd be honoured.
I will not let you down.

I would like, with your permission,
to refer to the choir

as the glee club.

You can call it what you like.
I don't give a monkey's armpit,

as long as you bring home
the silver.

Have you got what it takes to sing for
your prison against HMP Woolley Grange?!

Ooh! Woolley Grange boys! Nigel!
Who's got a pen? Who's got a pen?!

Give me the pen!

I'm telling you, Helen,
this is our moment.

It's like Martine McCutcheon said...

Yeah, well, Martine McCutcheon was
also knocked down and killed

in a Christmas special so...
you know,

she's not exactly one to talk.

Oh, but the Woolley Grange boys
are coming!

- Nigel's back this year. Oh. My. God.
- Stop!

I need to focus on getting
out of here, OK.

Not some stupid,
silly singing competition.

I'm stuck in prison for a crime
I didn't commit.

There is no music in my world.

But it's singing, Helen!
It's singing.

Who doesn't enjoy a good
sing-song?

This girl.

Her performing days are over.

Sure, she used to sing.

She was once compared to a young
Michael Ball.

But she's done with that razzmatazz.
And she's never...

- Are you about to burst into song?
- No!

Look, good luck with it all, Christine,
but singing's not for me.

- I-I-I-I... Honestly, I've no idea.
- Oh, come on.

So, you're re-capping to me that my
late husband stole nearly

?1 million from the lotto winnings
and now he's dead,

the money's gone and you have
no idea where it is?

It's true!

Well, how about this for a bit
of brainwork,

the woman who's behind bars
for killing my husband,

who ran the bloody lotto,
might know a little summink about it,

don't you think?

Yes! That's what I said!
That bitch's paws are all over this.

So... Sorry, just to re-recap,

are you saying you're not going to
call the police?

What I'm saying is,
if you should find the money,

I want half of it!

When you say half, do you mean half of half,
because we've already halved...

I want a whole half.

Anyway, I've got a little summink up
my sleeve that might just find

this cash quicker than you two
festival turds have managed.

I'm just gonna have to
pick my moment.

Yeah, no. I'm in the flat. I just...

We need to talk about Piccalilli.

I think he's pregnant.

How can you sit there
so calmly on the toilet?

We can barely look after ourselves, how are
we going to support a family of baby dogs?

We'll be fine.

Justin, in case you hadn't noticed,
dog food doesn't grow on trees.

And neither does pizza.

Didn't you and Helen have
a joint account or something?

It's, ehhh...
I've lost all the cards and stuff.

Well, that's just another
reason to go and see her, then.

- You have to tell her you're back.
- Trust me, OK? I've got a plan.

Pizza, dog food and magazines...?

Oh, and some of those little
sesame snap things.

- OK. Wish me luck.
- Good luck.

I got a bottle of Yop!

- Your name, please?
- When's Nigel getting here?

Not until the big day.
Er, what will you be singing for us?

Dip it
by G Child Sovereign Princess.

OK.

Five, six, seven, eight.

What are ya Loike?

When's Nigel getting here?

Are you here to audition, Stephens?

No, no, I'm just here to support
Christine.

Well, maybe I will as I'm here.

I think this CV sings for itself.

I was compared to a young
Michael Ball.

Helen, that audition is exactly
why I do this job.

It's 1,000,000% yes from me.

Is this the auditions?

Yes, but I don't see any other name
on the list.

Virna. I'm new.

Have you got a piece of music?

I'll do it wi' nae music.

- A cappella?
- Nah, I've already eaten.

THEY BREATHE HEAVILY

Virna, I knew from the minute
you walked out onto that stage

we were going to hear
something extraordinary

and I was right.

What a load of tosh.

- You're a little tiger, aren't you?
- I don't know 'bout that.

You are.

Yes! Come on! Get in!
You made the list too.

Oh, my God!

Tony? What are you doing here?

Who's this?

This? This is... This is...

I'm Laura's...

- Lodger.
- Lover.

- Lodger.
- Love-ger?

Pleased to meet you. Tony.

Did you want something, Uncle Tony?
It's just we're unpacking our spoils.

Yes, I did. I need you
to go to Entirely Tiles

and get your job back.

Helen needs someone working
on the inside.

That was quite the performance
yesterday.

Right enough.
I was always on the karaoke

down in me dad's pub.

Well, it's not a karaoke
competition but, er,

let's see who they choose
to do lead vocals.

We don't know what they're
looking for, I suppose.

Singers.
They're looking for singers.

Oh, I think they're after
the whole package.

You're probably right.

Shit!

OK, let's get this
glee club started.

Oh, what's a glee club?

- It's like a choir.
- Why don't you just call it a choir, then?

Why don't you just stop
shoplifting from Dixons?

OK, ladies, we've only got a couple
of days to get this together

but I have total faith in you that
you'll pull this one out the bag.

But first we've got to nail the basics,
so we'll start with some scales,

then we'll move onto the polyphonic
harmonies. All right, everyone!

Give me a G!

G!

No, the note.

Helen.

Could you give us a scale?

OK. OK.

Virna, could we hear your scale?

Aye. I used tae sing scales
in church.

Church-e-oke more like.

Helen. He...

Helen...

Helen.

Can you not?

Wow! Well, I think we've found
our lead vocalist.

Helen...

I would like you to...

understudy Virna.

Congratulations, Virna,
you're our soloist!

OK, everyone,
let's work on our moves!

And I haven't eaten in weeks,

and neither has Piccalilli
and he is with child.

So I really need this job back.

If not for me, then for
the impending baby dogs.

- Course you can have your job back.
- Oh, thank you.

Why are you looking so agog, Mary?

We could do with someone of Laura's
skills around here.

What are your skills again?

Well, I've got a head for business
and a bod for sin.

Well, you are re-hired.
Can you start now?

Yeah!

Oh, just let me clean up here first.

I think the baby dogs
are bearing down on his bladder.

Oh, don't worry about that.
Mary will deal with it.

So how's that sister of yours
gettin' on?

I was finkin' I'd like to pay her
a little visit.

Nigel! Nigel! Nigel! Nigel!

Nigel!

You bitches are the reason I do this.
I love you all.

We won UK Prisons Tug of War,
we won Best Float at the Lord Mayor's Show,

and we then we took a gold at
the Prison Vegetable Awards

for the fourth year running.

I don't know what it is about
Woolley Grange soil

but it sure knows
how to treat a parsnip.

I see you've got Nigel again this year.
Machete-ing that bouncer

was the best thing that ever
happened to your choir.

Everyone loves Nigel.

But it's all about the choir today,

and our girls have
been in training for months.

And I think there's one in
particular

who'll really stand out for us.

A little dicky bird told me
that Tony Blackburn is judging,

so who knows what could happen.

You know Blackburn displays 95% of
the characteristics of a sociopath?

He's dangerously unpredictable.

I suppose that means it's...
all for the taking.

Laura.
Don't look at me. Act normal.

- How's it going?
- Oh, great.

Day two and I've been made
Head of Adhesives!

But did you find out anything about
Mrs Bridges? Anything suspicious?

Not yet, but I did give her
my visitor's pass to see Helen.

- What did you do that for?
- Cos she made me Head of Adhesives.

- Give us a lift?
- Sorry, Laura, I've got to follow a lead.

The performance is this afternoon.
You can't drop out now.

I can and I have.

Virna seems to be happy to put up
with a lack of professionalism

but I'm not.

Sorry for having standards.
So, y'know, not interested.

- Unless...
- Unless what?

Well, I don't even know why I'm
saying this

because I just want to concentrate
on my case and my solo stuff

but, I dunno, if the lead vocal
was to become a duet

then maybe I might
consider coming...

Virna, I think if we've learnt
one thing from Blue and Elton john,

it's that a duet is always more...

If they want me to play Rosamund Pike's
mother they can stick it up their arseholes.

To be honest, that bastard hasn't
offered me a decent role

since I refused to suck it
at Chichester.

OK, yeah. Ciao.

Oh!

Christine... I...

There's a moose loose
aboot this hoose.

- Ah was, errr...
- We're not allowed phones in here.

Or agents.

Well, I'm as shocked as you,
Margaret.

I mean, you'd think a professional
actor would know better.

But I suppose what's important
right now

is just to try and salvage
the show.

If only there was some way
we could do that.

If only someone could step up
to the plate.

Someone who had
understudied the songs

- and was compared to a young Michael Crawford.
- Ball.

Umm. Well, I mean,
I've understudied the songs

and I have been compared to
a young Michael Ball

so I suppose I could do it.

Well, girls, thank you for bringing
this embarrassing situation

to my attention.

And thank you for volunteering to help.
What a thoughtful offer.

Although I think I might have
another solution.

Just so you know,
there is a lot riding on this.

You already said, darling.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Yes?

It's Tony Norman,
Helen Stephens' lawyer.

Can I come in? I want to ask you what you
know about the murder of Eric Bridges.

I'm in the bath.

What do you know about
the missing money?

I'm going to have to go in now.
Thank you. Bye now.

This has been a difficult decision.

I mean, there is so much talent
it's criminal.

But there can only be one
winning choir

going through to the regionals.
And that is...

Broadmarsh Women's Prison!

Dear Maurice, I've been in solitary
for ten days now,

with only your letters and my new
moustache for solace.

I always wondered how I'd cope with
this sort of sensory deprivation,

and the answer is pretty good.

Apart from the fact I got
the We Buy Any Car jingle

stuck in my head on day two.

People say you can start having
hallucinations in here,

but luckily
I've not suffered from that yet.

Isn't that right, Senorita Snailima?

Better get plucking, Stephens.
You got a visitor.

You coming?

Suit yourself.

Erm...

Hello. How are you?

You look well. Have you had
something done? Your hair or neck?

Oh, God!

Elaine, Mrs Bridges, I'm so sorry
about what happened to Eric,

but I need you to know that
I didn't do it, I did not do it.

I didn't do it. Did not do it.

Do you know what I was doing
last night, Helen?

Homemade pizzas?

I was celebrating.

The hospice two doors down from us

have been trying to raise money for
years to build an extension,

accommodation for the family,
a little memorial fountain,

that sort of fing.

Yesterday, I received news

that the council had rejected
planning permission.

My Eric, he'd have loved
to've seen that.

He was doing everything in his power
to make sure that carbuncle

did not block our view
of the golf course.

But it is a bittersweet victory,
Helen,

cos he ain't here to
celebrate with me.

All right, but even knowing that,
I still didn't kill him.

The thing is Helen,
when you tell me stuff,

I don't know if I can believe you.

Especially since I found this
in my husband's office.

What's that?

It's a tiny little sex tape, Helen.

it's 90 minutes of dirty talk and
what sounds like someone

trying to mend a squeaky gate.

I think I can, I think I can.

I know I can, I know I can!

That's not me, that's...
That's somebody else, that's...

You should get that, Helen.

It could be
the Purbeck Marble people.

Sync, corrected by icephoenix
www.addic7ed.com

I think you have a little
explaining to do.

Now, where's my husband's money?

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