All language subtitles for Dead Boss s01e01.eng

How do you think it's going?

Well, the jury's
found you guilty, Helen.

So, in my professional opinion,

I think that means you did it.

Helen Stephens,

you have been found guilty of murder.

Your victim was your employer,
Eric Bridges,

a family man who tragically
leaves behind a thriving business,

and a grieving,
pint-sized second wife.

You have shown no remorse
for the frenzied attack

that was to last an entire
bank holiday weekend.

Who keeps up
a frenzy for three days?

Say that! Say it!

(SHOUTING)
Who keeps up a frenzy for...?

Forget it. Doesn't matter.

Do you have anything to say
before I pass sentence?

Yes, I have.
I'm supposed to be getting married...

- You have been found guilty...
- As soon my fiance turns up

- and gives me my alibi, this whole...
- I now sentence you

to twelve years.

Wha..?!

GASPS

Objection!

Too long?

Sit down, Mr Norman!

Mum! Dad!
You've got to believe, I didn't...

- Laura!
- Helen!

- You've got to help me find Justin!
- Wait, please! She's my sister!

- I need to speak to my sister! Helen!
- Laura!

Can I have your Fitness First card?

And the keys to your flat? Helen?

Helen!

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Dear Maurice,
thank you for your postcard.

The answer is, yes.

I would love to be
your prison pen pal.

Although our correspondence
may be short-lived,

partly because
I intend to clear my name

but mainly because
you're on death row.

Come on!

I've been in Broadmarsh
for two weeks now

and every day is like
one of those nightmares

where you realise you've been
revising for the wrong exam

and then you wake up

and find you've been falsely
imprisoned for murdering your boss.

The thing I'm finding hardest
to cope with is the lack of privacy.

Personal space has always been
very important to me.

My cell mate, Christine,
has made me feel most welcome

but, as I tried to explain to her,
now isn't the right time for me

to take on an emotionally disturbed
arsonist as a best friend.

TOILET FLUSHES

INMATES SHOUT AND ARGUE

BOARD SMASHES

SHE MOUTHS

I haven't encountered the top dog yet,
but rumour has it,

she once paper cut an inmate
to death with a copy of TV Quick.

I've heard she's not
left her cell in nine years.

I had a similar experience
when I first got my hair permed.

But then luckily
I discovered Frizz Ease.

I've got a meeting
with my lawyer now

and hopefully he'll have
some news about my appeal

and where my fiance
and alibi might be.

Maybe when I get out,
I can come and visit you.

Or is that just rubbing it in?

For you!

No thanks,
I've just eaten a carbonara.

I think.

Did you see Secret Millionaire
last night?

No.

It was brilliant!

Don't worry. I've Sky Plussed it.

I can save it for up to two months.

When are you out, again?

In twelve years.

Twelve years!
Don't know if I can...

I'll look at the manual.

God, look at this place.

You shouldn't be in here.
No-one should.

She should.

SHE GROWLS

Yeah, she should.

Apart from her.

- Right! It's your appeal! Eh?
- Yeah.

Exciting!

Ooh...

I'm not going to mince around
the bush with you, Helen.

I'm going to say it straight.

When am I going to get paid?

What? You told me
it was no win, no fee!

I did not say no win, no fee.

I definitely said no win, some fee.

- Well, how much do we owe you?
- About five grand.

- Five grand?!
- Shhhh! Keep your voice down!

Look, I'm definitely
still on the case

but I don't know if I can give you

the full Tony magic
until I get paid.

I mean, I'll do what I can

but, in all honesty, it's going
to be half-arsed. At best.

What about the leads I gave you?
Did you find out about Mr Bridges...

Helen, Helen, Helen, Helen!

Shush!

You're bombarding me
with information.

Well, have you
tracked down my fiance?

Remind me, what's his involvement?

He's my alibi!

He was with me
the night of the murder.

Remind me, what was his name?

Justin.

Is that with a J or a G?

BELL RINGS
Ooh! Saved by the bell!

Look, as soon as you 'free me up'
with some cash,

I promise I'll be on the case 150%.

More, even.

Tony?

I will get out of here, won't I?

You will definitely
get out of here,

one day.

May the peace be with you,

and also with you.

INMATES SHOUT AND ARGUE

Hi, Helen!

I was thinking, we ought to have
a cell warming party.

You know, put some banners up,

set light to a bin.

Where are you going?

To see the governor
about my appeal.

What do you think, hair up or down?

Either way, you look stunning.

Like an old Christine Bleakley.

Wait, you're appealing? Why?

Well, because
I need to get out of here.

What?!

Oh, right, well, thanks!
Thanks a lot!

First Monique, then Brenda,
then Tizita, then Eugenie,

and now you!

Why does everyone
I get close to leave me?

Or get burned a bit?

This has nothing to do with you!

This is about the fact that
I'm innocent

and I need to get out of here
and get on with my life.

I'm 38, Christine.

If I wait, there's a strong chance
my wedding photos

will be really disappointing.

SHE CHUCKLES

Oh! Oh.

Well, yes, you can appeal.
Of course.

Really?! What, you...
You believe me?

Yes, I 'believe' you.

And I will do everything I can,
as Governor, to help you.

But can I give you
a little piece of advice?

Appeals can take a very,
very long time,

and they don't always work.

But you know what
does always work in prison?

Oh, erm... hunger strike?

Getting stuck in!

SHE LAUGHS
Yeah, but I'm innocent

and I just want to start the...

That's even more reason why you
should join the drama club!

Use your time well.

Practise your table tennis serve.

Design your own tattoo.

Think of today as the first day

of the rest of your life sentence.

Yeah, but...

what's the first step
of the appeal process?

The first step is to be patient.

And the second step, before you ask,

is to be realistic.

You're going to be stuck in here
for a very, very long time.

But what's the first step
of the appeals process?

It would be a dreadful thing,
wouldn't it,

to have your case reopened
and your sentence increased?

Which means it would become longer.

So I'll leave it with you
to make the right decision.

Cindy, will you send in
Officers Frank and Tim, please?

That wet bitch, Stephens,
is after an appeal.

THEY GROAN

I can't help but take this very,
very personally.

I wonder if there's something
we might do to change her mind.

Um, Margaret,

perhaps I could
have a word with her.

I don't mean to speak out of turn,

but I think
I'm one of the few wardens here

who could really get inside
that head of hers.

I seem to have a unique bond

with some of the more
troubled inmates.

I'm like a horse whisperer...

for women.

HE SNIGGERS
Something to say?

Get over yourself, woman whisperer!

I totally have a unique bond
with them, Ma'am.

In my pants.
HE SHUDDERS

I don't give a sheep's teat
which one of you does it,

just get it done.
That'll be all, gentlemen.

Hold the bucket lower!

You probably have
a better idea of how

the sick mind of a twisted killer works,
Maurice,

but I've got a nagging feeling
whoever did kill Mr Bridges

is still very much on the scene.

For a man who sold ceramic tiling,

Eric certainly had a lot of enemies.

I wonder how everyone at Entirely
Tiles is coping with his loss?

You know what they say,
'While the cat's away, the mice will play.'

And by 'cat', I mean, 'dead boss'.

And by 'mice',
I mean the marketing team.

Hi, Mary.

I've got a card here for Helen.

To let her know
we're all thinking of her.

- Have you got a message?
- Yeah!

Tell her, I hope she rots there!

Is this about your mayonnaise, Mary?

This is not about my mayonnaise.

Although it was clearly marked
as mine.

This is about her murdering
the best boss I've ever had.

Helen didn't murder anyone, Mary.

It's all just been a silly mistake.

You tell her I said
I always knew she was a bad egg!

Life in prison is the best thing
that could've happened to her.

Right, well...

I might just put that in my own words,
if that's OK.

I'm going to hand deliver it
when I visit.

I hope I don't get locked in too!

With Helen.

SHE HITS STAPLER VIOLENTLY

She can't intimidate me
into not appealing.

That's against my human rights...
probably.

Did she do that
when you tried to appeal?

I've never bothered.
Appealing's not for me.

I think once you're in, you're in.

But I'm a typical
Sagittarius like that.

SHE GIGGLES

Bloody hell! What are you doing?

I'm sitting down to eat my...

I'm going to go with
carbonara again?

That's Top Dog's table.

But she's not here, is she?
It's empty.

It's how it works here, Helen.

If you can't handle it,
you know what you can do.

- What?
- Nothing. There's nothing you can do.

You can't tell people
where they can sit and can't sit.

OK? We are human beings,
not... children.

We're talking about Top Dog here.

She once blinded someone
with a cheese straw.

Really? Well, that doesn't scare me,
and you know why?

Because I'm not scared of cheese.

SHE SLAMS TRAY DOWN

INMATES ARE SILENCED

Come on, Christine.

Come on, Christine! You can do this.

- You're doing it!
- I'm doing it!

You go, girl!

Me, go, me!

- Helen?
- Yeah?

You make me a better woman.

Night night.

WOMAN SCREAMS

WOMAN SCREAMS

Arms up!

Ow!

That's for your girlfriend's minge.

She's not my girlfriend.

She's my cell mate.

Oh, Helen! That is lovely.

You're my soul mate too.

You were washing
your girlfriend's flaps

under Top Dog's favourite
showerhead, bitch.

Well, first of all,
anyone with eyes can see

I wasn't washing her flaps.

And secondly,
I know a lot of gay people.

Well, a gay man, anyway, and...

I don't want to hear you talking.
It sounds shit.

Top Dog heard about your little
performance in the canteen.

She ain't happy.

Well...

if you'd just let me finish my ablutions,
then we can talk, but...

This is from Top Dog.

Pumice 'em right up.

THEY SCREAM

SCRUBBING NOISES

Calm down, for shit's sake!

It's nothing
I haven't already seen on CCTV!

HE LAUGHS

Who did that?

I'm very disappointed in this posse.

Now, get out to the yard!

I said, get out to the yard!

Get out to the yard, please?

Please, get out to the yard?

Let's go.

I forgot my Veet.

Word of advice.

Don't drop the soap.

But this is a women's prison.

And?

Well, that only really
works in men's prisons.

Don't get smart with me, flapjack.

How you doing today, Stephens?

Not that great,
I've been wrongly imprisoned.

What are you, a 32B?

- What?
- I see you looking at me.

You don't have to deny it.

I deny it!
HE SNIGGERS

Maybe I'm not the right person
to be talking to you like this,

given that I'm a warden
and you're getting urges.

But I'm telling you man to woman

that you need to
forget about appealing.

And if you do,
I might just find a way

to make you feel
a little happier in here.

And down there.

What do you say?

I'm a 34C, actually.

But how much of that is ribcage?

You've come to the right place,
Mrs Cole.

It's a terrible,
terrible thing that's happened.

But believe me when I say,

that petting zoo
won't know what's hit it.

Do you know, in a way,
I'm glad this happened.

Because if a child can't touch a goat
without getting nipped,

it makes a mockery
of the entire petting system.

CRASHING NOISE

What was that?
Is someone in there?

Ssshh! Ssshh!

HE YELLS

You should be ashamed of yourself!

Please don't bite me again, Mummy!

I'd give it a minute.

SHE SPRAYS AIR FRESHENER

Mmm! Lavender. Very calming.

Also good for boils.

How are you doing today, Helen?

Not that great.
I've been wrongly imprisoned.

I know you don't mean to,
but sometimes you give off a vibe

like you don't want to be here.

A little birdie told me
you were after an appeal.

(WHISPERS) Is that really how
you want to play it?

Always thinking the grass
is greener on the other side?

Carpe Diem, Helen.
Do you know what that means?

What will be, will be.

Carpe diem, di-em.
Do you know what I mean?

No.

Is this really the worst
place to be? Eh?

BLOODCURDLING SCREAM

You want to lighten up, little lady!

Let your hair down.
Enjoy yourself, yeah?

Right, get yourself down
to the visitor's room.

Your sister's here. She has some
horrific news to break to you.

So how come there's no
hot water during the day?

This is the horrific news?!

I told them our stepfather had been
kicked in the face by a horse.

We don't have a stepfather!

Well, we definitely don't any more.

So how comes
I can't have a bath at three?

Because it's on a timer.

So how can I change that?

Change the timer!

Can you call a plumber?

I get one phone token a week.

I was going to use it
to get out of prison.

But you're right, I should use it
so you can have a hot bath

- in the afternoon.
- Sweet!

Where you going?
I've got to get back to my flat.

- My flat!
- The flat.

How are Mum and Dad?

Not great.

Apparently, someone at the golf club
found out about your conviction

and it's made it very awkward
for them to drink in the clubhouse.

So do you think it's a bad time
to ask for money,

because Tony can't continue...?

You can't ask them for money, Helen!

It's not fair.
They're old, they're retired,

and they've enough on their plate
paying off my student loan.

Right, see you.

Don't forget to call the plumber,
yeah?

Aargh! What are you doing?
No! No!

Christine!

Lesbos!

All right, what is going on?

I want to know why there's been
some misbehaving

from you two Chatham Pockets.

- Well...
- Because, b-b-because, you, you,

you can't go around telling people
where we can sit and can't sit.

W-w-we are human beings!

Not children!

Oh, I see. It's like that, is it?

Yeah, yeah, it is.

I might be in prison,
but I still have a choice.

And I no longer choose
to eat standing up.

And as my cell mate, Helen, said,

you're just a nasty piece of work

who, like all bullies,
picks on the weedy.

I didn't say that!

Because, to quote Helen,

You're nothing but a lowlife excuse
for a human being,

who hides behind a group
of mentally stunted--

Helen was going to say 'trolls',

but she said that would be insulting
to trolls-- so she said, rat women,

who trail after you
like a long string of shit

from a goldfish's bum hole.

I have... I've been completely
taken out of context!

Did I say that Helen then did an
impression of you? Like...

To be fair, I had no idea
what you looked like.

It's you!

Everyone, get out...

Now.

HE URINATES

DOOR OPENS LOUDLY

It's me, Helen Stephens!

You were my supply teacher at
Mount Hill Senior School?

When Miss Seaward
was having her hysterectomy?

Oh, my God!

What happened to you?

Well, well, well,
well, well, well, well.

Well.

We meet again,

Miss Grainger!

I barely recognized you
without your underbite!

When'd you get your head brace off?

It was worth it.
Your teeth look great!

Don't you talk about my teeth.

I don't want you
to look at my teeth.

I don't want you
to think about my teeth.

I don't want you to touch my teeth.

- OK. I wasn't going to touch your...
- You little shit!

You thought you were so clever
back then, didn't you?

Oh, ha-ha-ha!

The supply teacher's got
a head brace!

Let's all wear a coat hanger
on our face to school.

Oh, hee-hee-hee!

Let's all hum continuously
for an entire double period.

SHE HUMS

Oh, I know.

Let's spray paint 'paedo'
on the side of Miss Grainger's car,

when all she'd done was send a
sixth former a Valentine's Day card.

Oh, come on. I was 15!
That's not important!

We're in prison!

What's important now
is that we stick together...

I might not have become
an evil recluse,

if it wasn't for you, Stephens.

But as I now am one,
I'm going to make the most of it.

I want you
looking over your shoulder

every day you're in here.

Every move you make.

God!

I don't know what to say.

Sorry, I suppose.

Sorry I turned you into
an evil recluse,

it was just a bit of fun that...

Too little, too late!

I'm the mummy here.
You understand?

I'm... the mummy!

SHE BLOWS ON MAGAZINE

You're a dead bitch walking,
Stephens.

SHE BLOWS ON MAGAZINE

OK!

But I can't help thinking

you might not want people
knowing what I know.

Who you really are.

Which is,
as far as I can remember,

a fully-grown woman
who wet herself

in front of a class
of 15-year-old girls.

You wouldn't dare.

(SHE GROWLS) Try me.

SHE COUGHS

THEY MOUTH

Can I help you?

It's me! It's Henry!

Henry Keating? From Contracts?

I've got the desk
by the weeping fig plant.

Oh, yeah! No, of course!

Henry! It's good to see you.
How did you...?

Your sister sorted it.

Apparently there's an hour-long
episode of Eastenders on tonight,

so she'd have struggled
to get back for that.

I see.

For you.

Well, I must say,
prison agrees with you.

You look tickety-boo!

Thank you.

So how are things going
with your appeal?

Not good.

My lawyer's on a go-slow
until he gets paid.

Well, I don't want to seem
over familiar,

- but if you need some money...
- Oh, no, I couldn't possibly!

- I insist.
- No, that's too generous.

- How much do you need?
- Five grand. It's about five grand.

Right, well...

Let's start with this �75.

I've easily got the rest
tied up in my car.

Let me sell that and I'll transfer
the cash into your lawyer's account

before you can say,
'permanent visitors' pass'!

I don't know what to...

Oh, I don't know what to say, Henry.

Thank you?

Oh, thank you.

Now, is there anything else
I can do for you?

Do you want me to read to you or...?

Well, maybe.

Do you think you could
check something for me?

Course.

Well, the day before
Mr Bridges died,

he asked me to courier a parcel.

And he asked me to pay by cash,
not account.

I remember thinking, 'That's odd.'

Why wouldn't you put it
through the business?

I can't help thinking
it's to do with the murder.

Right.

So what's this?

I've just been playing it
over and over in my head,

trying to remember
the address on the package

and, well,
this is the closest I've got.

Mashta Fembwick.

2090 Toadpole TS.

Manchasteton, IE.

Well, this changes everything.

It's not an address that makes
much sense to me...

Helen! That's what Google's for.
Leave it with me.

Thank you, Henry.

I can't tell you what a relief it is
to have someone

- who actually wants to help me.
- It's funny, isn't it?

Because when we worked together,
the only conversation we ever had

was when you asked me if
I was in the queue for Curry Club.

Yeah, it's funny
how things work out!

But now, you need me.

I mean, you're totally
dependent on me.

Yeah, well,
it's very kind of you to help me.

And I'm going to call my lawyer and
try and get him back on the case.

Thanks again, Henry.

It's no problem.

I will literally bend over backwards
to get you out of this hell hole.

HE SNIFFS

Oh, OK.

- Bye!
- Oh, Jesus!

ANSWERPHONE BEEPS
Tony! Good news!

I've got your money!

Well, �75 of it, anyway.

Oh, and I've remembered an address
that might be important.

It could really help with the appeal.
So, yay!

Oh, this is Helen from prison,
by the way.

HE WHIMPERS

Dear Maurice,
thank you for your postcard.

In response to your query,
the answer is, yes, on occasion.

But only when
I'm in a committed relationship.

I'm sorry to break this news
to you by letter,

but it looks like my visit
to Kansas will have to be delayed.

My appeal is taking longer
than I envisaged.

Although there is a small ray of light.

My ex-colleague, Henry,
has offered to help me.

God bless him, whoever he is!

I'm trying to stay strong,
but it is hard.

In many ways I envy you, Maurice.

I wish my own future
was as certain as yours.

Anyhoo, write soon.

All the best, Helen.

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