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1
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UKULELE PLAYS
2
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Can you not?
3
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I'm surprising someone in London...
4
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SHE STRUMS UKULELE
Someone needs an orgasm.
5
00:00:50,966 --> 00:00:53,524
Stop being anal, Kate.
It's just a party.
6
00:00:53,526 --> 00:00:55,804
- Please. - No.
- Yes. - No.
7
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- Yes!
- No! - It's my birthday.
8
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We are not allowed parties.
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We will get kicked out.
10
00:01:01,926 --> 00:01:04,924
All right, how is not wanting
to be homeless anal?
11
00:01:04,926 --> 00:01:07,684
Just a small little gathering.
You can invite Jessica for my sex.
12
00:01:07,686 --> 00:01:09,924
I don't want work people
seeing where I live, thanks.
13
00:01:09,926 --> 00:01:11,364
They'll think I'm a squatter.
14
00:01:11,366 --> 00:01:13,684
Look, the whole point
of living in a disused hospital
15
00:01:13,686 --> 00:01:15,204
is to get a girl on a slab.
16
00:01:15,206 --> 00:01:18,084
No, Sam, it's to save money
for a deposit on an actual house.
17
00:01:18,086 --> 00:01:20,124
Oh, yeah, as if that's what
we're all doing here.
18
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Come on, Kate.
19
00:01:21,366 --> 00:01:23,044
WHISPERS: I'll go down on you.
20
00:01:23,046 --> 00:01:25,844
Don't go down on my fiance.
The pigeon's in the shower again.
21
00:01:25,846 --> 00:01:28,804
- It's nice to know he's looking after himself.
- Just throw it over him.
22
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- It's not moving and
it's looking right at me. - I'll go.
23
00:01:31,126 --> 00:01:33,324
Oh, my God!
I'm going to have to say it.
24
00:01:33,326 --> 00:01:36,804
He's going to say
something terrible.
25
00:01:36,806 --> 00:01:39,564
It's my first birthday
since my dad died.
26
00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:41,404
There, said it.
27
00:01:41,406 --> 00:01:43,404
- What's this?
- He wants a party.
28
00:01:43,406 --> 00:01:46,604
No-one should have to go around
carrying this much grief
29
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:48,524
and this much semen.
30
00:01:48,526 --> 00:01:50,284
Something bad is bound to happen.
31
00:01:50,286 --> 00:01:52,684
You're unbelievable. I'm an orphan.
32
00:01:52,686 --> 00:01:54,884
- You have a mum.
- She lives south of the river.
33
00:01:54,886 --> 00:01:57,753
Compliment her again
and she'll do it.
34
00:01:59,366 --> 00:02:01,484
You've got really fit hair.
35
00:02:01,486 --> 00:02:03,204
I'm going to be late.
36
00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:06,244
- We're organising a massive treasure
hunt today for a shoe shop. - Mm.
37
00:02:06,246 --> 00:02:09,364
- Maybe we could do
something like that. - Oh, you're an angel!
38
00:02:09,366 --> 00:02:13,324
- The pigeon puffs up when it's angry.
- I know, baby. - You're my hero.
39
00:02:13,326 --> 00:02:17,326
Er, Melody, when you want me,
I am all yours.
40
00:02:18,086 --> 00:02:21,524
Come on, one poke.
Melody, what have I got to do?
41
00:02:21,526 --> 00:02:23,684
- Really? - Yeah.
- Drug me. - Wow.
42
00:02:23,686 --> 00:02:27,686
- And then never tell me.
- Wow. Really? - Yeah.
43
00:02:31,206 --> 00:02:33,564
'Ladies and gentlemen,
this bus will be terminating
44
00:02:33,566 --> 00:02:36,844
'at London Victoria
in approximately 15 minutes.'
45
00:02:36,846 --> 00:02:40,846
SHE SNORES
46
00:02:44,366 --> 00:02:48,366
SHE SNORES HEAVILY
47
00:02:54,046 --> 00:02:55,764
What the fuck?!
48
00:02:55,766 --> 00:02:59,684
MUTED POUNDING MUSIC
49
00:02:59,686 --> 00:03:03,686
- This place is amazing.
- I know, it's brilliant. Thanks for taking me.
50
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MUSIC PLAYS
51
00:03:28,206 --> 00:03:30,324
Forgive me, Kate.
52
00:03:30,326 --> 00:03:32,844
It appears you live in a hospital.
53
00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:36,846
Please don't tell anyone at work.
I'm not a squatter, OK? I do pay.
54
00:03:37,126 --> 00:03:41,126
Me and Anthony are just saving
for the wedding and...
55
00:03:41,646 --> 00:03:43,684
- I'm just not a squatter.
- No, no.
56
00:03:43,686 --> 00:03:45,684
Congratulations, by the way.
57
00:03:45,686 --> 00:03:47,644
He cooks a mean curry.
58
00:03:47,646 --> 00:03:50,084
Oh! Thanks!
59
00:03:50,086 --> 00:03:52,724
I still get coy
when he takes his shirt off.
60
00:03:52,726 --> 00:03:54,964
What was your wedding like?
61
00:03:54,966 --> 00:03:58,324
Where are you staying
while your divorce wraps up?
62
00:03:58,326 --> 00:04:00,244
Um...
63
00:04:00,246 --> 00:04:04,204
Still on the sofa.
Cara's moved him in now.
64
00:04:04,206 --> 00:04:07,284
It's, er, a little awkward
in the mornings,
65
00:04:07,286 --> 00:04:11,286
but they're usually in bed
by the time I get back,
66
00:04:11,366 --> 00:04:14,124
which is a small mercy, I suppose.
67
00:04:14,126 --> 00:04:18,126
Oh, God, Colin! There's a spare ward
going here if you need the space.
68
00:04:18,326 --> 00:04:20,844
Thank you. I'll think about it.
69
00:04:20,846 --> 00:04:22,844
Melody!
70
00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:25,524
This is Crying Colin from work...
71
00:04:25,526 --> 00:04:27,444
Colin from work.
72
00:04:27,446 --> 00:04:31,044
He's thinking about
moving into the spare ward.
73
00:04:31,046 --> 00:04:33,604
- Are you poor?
- Um, no. Just...
74
00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:34,924
Lonely?
75
00:04:34,926 --> 00:04:38,926
- Well, I'm going through a divorce.
- So both.
76
00:04:39,286 --> 00:04:43,244
I suppose so, yes.
77
00:04:43,246 --> 00:04:46,084
Do you enjoy living here?
78
00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:49,484
Well, you're not allowed
to have parties, cook meals,
79
00:04:49,486 --> 00:04:53,486
light candles, have sex,
express emotion, claim any rights,
80
00:04:53,686 --> 00:04:56,404
argue if they want to throw you out
with only two days' notice,
81
00:04:56,406 --> 00:05:00,406
or smoke.
82
00:05:00,486 --> 00:05:02,324
It's a riot.
83
00:05:02,326 --> 00:05:06,326
Gosh.
84
00:05:08,086 --> 00:05:11,364
Happy birthday, dude.
85
00:05:11,366 --> 00:05:13,284
Ahh!
86
00:05:13,286 --> 00:05:15,204
Mmm! Stop.
87
00:05:15,206 --> 00:05:17,502
Stop it!
88
00:05:21,086 --> 00:05:23,250
Stop it.
89
00:05:33,566 --> 00:05:36,444
OK, OK, everybody, everybody!
90
00:05:36,446 --> 00:05:38,484
Line up for the treasure hunt.
91
00:05:38,486 --> 00:05:40,004
CHEERING
92
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:43,284
There are clues
on every floor of the hospital.
93
00:05:43,286 --> 00:05:46,764
Do not change your partner
once you've been allocated one, OK?
94
00:05:46,766 --> 00:05:49,564
- It's going to be...
- Anal! - ..super fun.
95
00:05:49,566 --> 00:05:52,484
Right. Purnima and...
96
00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:54,204
- Sam!
- ..Harry.
97
00:05:54,206 --> 00:05:56,764
CHEERING
98
00:05:56,766 --> 00:05:59,444
- Jessica, Jessica, Jessica...
- Jessica and...
99
00:05:59,446 --> 00:06:00,964
Sam!
100
00:06:00,966 --> 00:06:02,884
...that unbelievably hot guy.
101
00:06:02,886 --> 00:06:06,604
What? Who even is that?
Who brought that?
102
00:06:06,606 --> 00:06:09,404
Kate, mate, digging the squat.
103
00:06:09,406 --> 00:06:11,284
It's not a squat.
104
00:06:11,286 --> 00:06:13,524
- Melody and...
- Sam!
105
00:06:13,526 --> 00:06:16,564
...Colin.
106
00:06:16,566 --> 00:06:18,764
Anthony...
107
00:06:18,766 --> 00:06:20,844
and...
108
00:06:20,846 --> 00:06:22,284
- Lulu?
- ..me!
109
00:06:22,286 --> 00:06:24,164
No fucking way!
110
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:26,164
Oh, my God!
111
00:06:26,166 --> 00:06:30,044
Oh, my God! What are you doing here?
Look at your stupid face.
112
00:06:30,046 --> 00:06:31,844
Oh, my God, don't say anything!
113
00:06:31,846 --> 00:06:33,644
Oh, my God, you have to meet Kate!
114
00:06:33,646 --> 00:06:37,284
Kate, this is... This is Lulu.
115
00:06:37,286 --> 00:06:39,884
- My Lulu.
- Wow! Lulu!
116
00:06:39,886 --> 00:06:43,886
- Lulu! Oh, it's so great
to finally meet you. - You, too.
117
00:06:44,486 --> 00:06:47,324
Is that a ukulele? Wow, quirky!
118
00:06:47,326 --> 00:06:49,764
Yeah, thanks. I try really hard.
119
00:06:49,766 --> 00:06:51,684
You must be the brilliant Kate.
120
00:06:51,686 --> 00:06:53,284
My God!
121
00:06:53,286 --> 00:06:54,724
- Ohh!
- Wow, you are gorgeous.
122
00:06:54,726 --> 00:06:57,804
What are you doing
with this shitbag?
123
00:06:57,806 --> 00:06:59,964
Oh, just... You know, just...
124
00:06:59,966 --> 00:07:03,084
Just...
125
00:07:03,086 --> 00:07:05,564
- She totally loves me.
- No, I don't!
126
00:07:05,566 --> 00:07:08,244
- You don't?
- No, I do.
127
00:07:08,246 --> 00:07:11,804
A lot.
I love him so much, I could die.
128
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:14,884
- Mwah!
- So you're here! Yeah!
129
00:07:14,886 --> 00:07:17,764
Fucking look at you!
I've missed you so much.
130
00:07:17,766 --> 00:07:20,564
Hey! Sugar-tits.
131
00:07:20,566 --> 00:07:23,084
OK, no, don't speak to him.
I grew up with her.
132
00:07:23,086 --> 00:07:25,524
She is Red Zone.
She's basically my sister.
133
00:07:25,526 --> 00:07:28,084
You guys look really similar.
134
00:07:28,086 --> 00:07:31,044
- Yeah, I guess we...
- No, I don't think so.
135
00:07:31,046 --> 00:07:34,804
- So, I'm Sam and I am amazing.
- He's a pervert.
136
00:07:34,806 --> 00:07:36,564
This is Melody. She's a hot frog.
137
00:07:36,566 --> 00:07:38,004
- She's a teacher.
- I'm an artist.
138
00:07:38,006 --> 00:07:40,324
And you've met Kate.
She's really anal.
139
00:07:40,326 --> 00:07:43,044
KATE CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY
I am not anal.
140
00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:46,284
- Do you all live here?
- We're not friends. We just share a floor.
141
00:07:46,286 --> 00:07:47,964
- What are you doing here?
- Oh, I dunno.
142
00:07:47,966 --> 00:07:50,004
I've just got to find
somewhere to live
143
00:07:50,006 --> 00:07:52,724
and then I'm just going to be
completely on top of this one.
144
00:07:52,726 --> 00:07:55,524
- Can I dump my stuff?
- Sure, yeah. I'll show you round the wards.
145
00:07:55,526 --> 00:07:59,526
- I'm about to start the treasure hunt.
- We'll just be a couple of secs.
146
00:08:03,046 --> 00:08:06,004
"Sex"!
147
00:08:06,006 --> 00:08:08,084
OK, OK.
148
00:08:08,086 --> 00:08:10,324
Sam and...
149
00:08:10,326 --> 00:08:11,644
Fred.
150
00:08:11,646 --> 00:08:14,884
- Fred? Who's she?
- HE lives with us, you moron.
151
00:08:14,886 --> 00:08:17,124
Hi.
152
00:08:17,126 --> 00:08:19,724
Ohh... Oh, Jesus.
153
00:08:19,726 --> 00:08:23,726
Josh and Vicky.
154
00:08:23,766 --> 00:08:26,644
OK, babycakes, your penis
is a bit of a problem for me.
155
00:08:26,646 --> 00:08:29,884
We're going to have to forget that
exists while we do this, capisce?
156
00:08:29,886 --> 00:08:31,964
- Capisce.
- That's my girl.
157
00:08:31,966 --> 00:08:34,324
OK, everybody, let the...
158
00:08:34,326 --> 00:08:38,326
Let the treasure hunt commence!
159
00:08:38,446 --> 00:08:42,446
CHEERING
160
00:08:42,766 --> 00:08:44,284
What are you doing here, Lu?
161
00:08:44,286 --> 00:08:48,286
- Ah, I missed you.
- Yeah, and...?
162
00:08:48,326 --> 00:08:51,924
Steven kicked me out, so I left
town, did a bit of travelling.
163
00:08:51,926 --> 00:08:53,124
What? Where did you go?
164
00:08:53,126 --> 00:08:56,164
Mainly the Midlands, but I spent
a bit of time in Bristol,
165
00:08:56,166 --> 00:08:57,404
which was really intense.
166
00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:59,284
Out the way, out the way.
167
00:08:59,286 --> 00:09:02,164
Hey, Lulu-licious,
do you want to, er, swap partners?
168
00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:04,204
No way.
You two are perfect for each other.
169
00:09:04,206 --> 00:09:08,206
- Ooh, you're cheeky. I like that.
- Red Zone?
170
00:09:10,526 --> 00:09:13,044
- He's hot.
- No, he's not.
171
00:09:13,046 --> 00:09:15,204
So, this is new.
172
00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:17,564
Yeah, it's my uku-Lulu.
173
00:09:17,566 --> 00:09:19,084
Can you play?
174
00:09:19,086 --> 00:09:22,924
Even though I know
I'm not a lesbian for sure
175
00:09:22,926 --> 00:09:26,244
I sometimes look up lesbian porn
176
00:09:26,246 --> 00:09:29,139
And it really, really, really
gets me off.
177
00:09:29,178 --> 00:09:31,016
Yes!
178
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:33,924
Er, homeless people.
179
00:09:33,926 --> 00:09:37,604
I sometimes feel bad if they
have scabs on their faces...
180
00:09:37,606 --> 00:09:41,484
- Oh! - What?
- I think my tampon just came out a bit.
181
00:09:41,486 --> 00:09:43,404
Er, can I do anything?
182
00:09:43,406 --> 00:09:45,444
- Yeah, actually, if you could just...
- Wow, OK.
183
00:09:45,446 --> 00:09:48,804
- I was joking!
- Thank God! - What were you going to do?
184
00:09:48,806 --> 00:09:51,204
- Help you. I don't know! Eugh.
- Hey...
185
00:09:51,206 --> 00:09:55,206
You would love my vagina.
186
00:09:56,446 --> 00:09:58,444
She really went for it. Wow!
187
00:09:58,446 --> 00:10:00,964
- Boom. Big one. Lift me, princess.
- OK!
188
00:10:00,966 --> 00:10:04,966
Brilliant. This is so much fun.
189
00:10:05,086 --> 00:10:06,884
Hey, we have actually met before,
190
00:10:06,886 --> 00:10:10,524
in the laundry room when you were
stealing that girl's... - Oh, shit-fit.
191
00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:14,526
"The envelopes on the ceiling
all contain X-rays with the letters of the alphabet hidden in them.
192
00:10:14,686 --> 00:10:18,004
"Find all the letters
and they will make up the name of the room the prize is in."
193
00:10:18,006 --> 00:10:20,644
She is so fucking anal. I love her.
Let's go.
194
00:10:20,646 --> 00:10:24,404
- Vault me, vault me!
- Yes, I will!
195
00:10:24,406 --> 00:10:27,804
Ah!
196
00:10:27,806 --> 00:10:29,204
BOTH: W!
197
00:10:29,206 --> 00:10:32,346
- Vault me again, vault me again.
- Yeah!
198
00:10:33,926 --> 00:10:36,364
So I guess go for it.
199
00:10:36,366 --> 00:10:40,366
- Could I just double check the clue?
- No.
200
00:10:44,166 --> 00:10:46,564
She wouldn't have hidden anything
in a toilet.
201
00:10:46,566 --> 00:10:49,804
She's not that kind of person.
Trust me, I work for her.
202
00:10:49,806 --> 00:10:51,444
Let her surprise you.
203
00:10:51,446 --> 00:10:54,804
It's the most attractive thing
a person can do.
204
00:10:54,806 --> 00:10:58,806
So rare to be surprised.
205
00:11:02,006 --> 00:11:05,004
Oh, God. Oh, putain.
I can't believe you just did that!
206
00:11:05,006 --> 00:11:07,764
Neither can I.
207
00:11:07,766 --> 00:11:11,766
I can't feel a clue.
208
00:11:15,366 --> 00:11:19,366
Found it.
209
00:11:23,606 --> 00:11:27,244
The main rule about truth songs
is just to sing with abandon.
210
00:11:27,246 --> 00:11:30,084
Just let go of whatever you're
afraid of admitting to yourself.
211
00:11:30,086 --> 00:11:31,444
Yeah, I really get it.
212
00:11:31,446 --> 00:11:35,446
I really get how it's about
being who you need to want to be,
213
00:11:36,046 --> 00:11:38,484
in a world
where needing to be someone
214
00:11:38,486 --> 00:11:40,884
is more about being
who you think you need to be,
215
00:11:40,886 --> 00:11:44,886
when really, what we all
just need to do is sing...
216
00:11:45,686 --> 00:11:47,204
man.
217
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:49,844
- You're taking the piss.
- I'm taking the piss, yeah. - Wow!
218
00:11:49,846 --> 00:11:51,644
You really can't drop it, can you?
219
00:11:51,646 --> 00:11:54,804
- You really can't take a joke, can you?
- Look at you.
220
00:11:54,806 --> 00:11:56,284
- You get so edgy.
- I get...?
221
00:11:56,286 --> 00:11:59,004
Shouldn't you be rubbing up
against someone downstairs by now?
222
00:11:59,006 --> 00:12:03,006
- Say one thing sincerely, I dare you.
- You flirt with me too much.
223
00:12:05,166 --> 00:12:08,564
I'm afraid you have to sing it,
or it doesn't count.
224
00:12:08,566 --> 00:12:10,524
- I'll play.
- No.
225
00:12:10,526 --> 00:12:12,724
You sing, I'll play.
226
00:12:12,726 --> 00:12:15,964
HE STRUMS UKULELE
227
00:12:15,966 --> 00:12:19,966
Do you really think
I flirt with you too much?
228
00:12:23,406 --> 00:12:25,364
Do you wish I didn't?
229
00:12:25,366 --> 00:12:28,084
- Hey! - Hi. - Hey.
- What are you doing?
230
00:12:28,086 --> 00:12:30,404
We're just having a singsong.
Come join us.
231
00:12:30,406 --> 00:12:31,804
Oh! No.
232
00:12:31,806 --> 00:12:34,324
Singing's not really my thing.
233
00:12:34,326 --> 00:12:36,484
Sorry, baby,
we're just catching up.
234
00:12:36,486 --> 00:12:40,486
Yeah, no, you haven't seen
each other for ages.
235
00:12:45,846 --> 00:12:48,604
Hey, it's all getting a bit heated
between Jess...
236
00:12:48,606 --> 00:12:50,284
And that unbelievably hot guy.
237
00:12:50,286 --> 00:12:54,286
- His name is...
- Don't ruin it.
238
00:12:55,886 --> 00:12:59,124
Come on, we've missed enough of this
brilliant treasure-hunt bonanza.
239
00:12:59,126 --> 00:13:00,924
- Who's my partner, baby?
- No!
240
00:13:00,926 --> 00:13:03,084
Stay. Catch up.
241
00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:05,084
It's fine. Too many people anyway.
242
00:13:05,086 --> 00:13:07,406
Hm!
243
00:13:14,218 --> 00:13:16,491
Push harder! Push harder!
244
00:13:16,655 --> 00:13:20,928
Mate, you smell like lychees.
D'you eat a lot of lychees?
245
00:13:20,949 --> 00:13:22,652
Stop making me laugh!
246
00:13:22,667 --> 00:13:24,584
Oh, what the fuck?!
247
00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:27,206
Heeey! Wow, you two look cosy.
248
00:13:27,214 --> 00:13:29,050
I was going to fuck you.
249
00:13:29,074 --> 00:13:30,253
Excuse me?!
250
00:13:30,269 --> 00:13:35,994
I was... going... to... fuck... you.
251
00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:38,559
Oh shit!
252
00:13:39,044 --> 00:13:41,544
Oh, my gosh, I'm sorry,
253
00:13:41,567 --> 00:13:45,906
I guess in that case I should,
I should probably...
254
00:13:51,026 --> 00:13:52,544
You OK?
255
00:13:52,546 --> 00:13:54,584
Stop trying to bum me!
256
00:13:54,586 --> 00:13:58,344
- Excuse me?!
- Fucking bender!
257
00:13:58,346 --> 00:13:59,864
That is not nice.
258
00:13:59,866 --> 00:14:03,866
Yeah, well neither is being sexually
assaulted by a surprise flatmate.
259
00:14:04,346 --> 00:14:06,744
I don't think you're very happy,
mate.
260
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:08,384
- Don't say "mate".
- You say "babe".
261
00:14:08,386 --> 00:14:10,904
I'm an estate agent.
I'm meant to sound like a twat.
262
00:14:10,906 --> 00:14:12,906
What's your excuse?
263
00:14:34,426 --> 00:14:36,304
Won't Kate be wondering
what you're doing?
264
00:14:36,306 --> 00:14:37,824
She'll just assume I'm smoking.
265
00:14:37,826 --> 00:14:40,024
Fiver says she sniffs
my breath when we go down.
266
00:14:40,026 --> 00:14:42,984
- Supportive(!)
- It's OK. I'll say you were my witness.
267
00:14:42,986 --> 00:14:45,544
Fiver says she'll sniff your cock
if you tell her that.
268
00:14:45,546 --> 00:14:49,546
- God!
- Sorry! But she might as well have weed on you down there!
269
00:14:49,786 --> 00:14:53,786
Don't, OK? Sometimes you just
take it too far, Lulu.
270
00:14:54,466 --> 00:14:56,904
She'd be well within her
rights to be paranoid
271
00:14:56,906 --> 00:14:58,344
the way you behaved downstairs.
272
00:14:58,346 --> 00:15:00,944
We both know there's nothing
between us, but I won't have you
273
00:15:00,946 --> 00:15:04,946
taking the piss out of her,
all right? Fuck sake!
274
00:15:05,426 --> 00:15:08,664
I mean, you really, really
275
00:15:08,666 --> 00:15:10,664
fell for that
hook, line and sinker.
276
00:15:10,666 --> 00:15:13,584
Oh, my God! You dick!
I can't believe you still get me!
277
00:15:13,586 --> 00:15:17,586
I'm sorry but your face
was hilarious!
278
00:15:20,346 --> 00:15:24,346
Diabetic? That's intense.
279
00:15:25,106 --> 00:15:28,824
- What made you think I was gay?
- You are so gay.
280
00:15:28,826 --> 00:15:31,704
You don't know me at all.
I know when one jumps on my back.
281
00:15:31,706 --> 00:15:35,706
You are so inappropriate!
And you told me to do that!
282
00:15:35,746 --> 00:15:37,464
Are you gay?
283
00:15:37,466 --> 00:15:41,466
Are you?
284
00:15:42,026 --> 00:15:46,026
You're so gay.
285
00:15:53,346 --> 00:15:57,346
I heard about your Dad. I'm sorry.
Yeah.
286
00:15:57,586 --> 00:16:00,184
Mine died too.
I was much younger but...
287
00:16:00,186 --> 00:16:04,186
Hurts, yeah.
288
00:16:04,466 --> 00:16:06,744
Yeah.
289
00:16:06,746 --> 00:16:09,984
(Yeah.
290
00:16:09,986 --> 00:16:13,986
Yeah.
291
00:16:26,346 --> 00:16:30,346
Right, come on treacle, let's go.
Let's win this thing.
292
00:16:37,906 --> 00:16:41,504
Wanking room! How does
she know about my wanking room?
293
00:16:41,506 --> 00:16:44,304
- Waiting room?
- WAITING ROOM!
294
00:16:44,306 --> 00:16:48,306
You are a genius.
295
00:16:59,466 --> 00:17:02,064
I'm sorry I flirt with you too much.
296
00:17:02,066 --> 00:17:04,184
I'm allowed to fancy you though,
doesn't count.
297
00:17:04,186 --> 00:17:05,506
Do you though?
298
00:17:05,521 --> 00:17:09,264
Nah. Used to though.
You can cling to that.
299
00:17:09,266 --> 00:17:11,624
- What's going on here?
- What do you mean?
300
00:17:11,626 --> 00:17:14,184
Now, come on. We have never
been more sober in our lives.
301
00:17:14,186 --> 00:17:16,264
I'm trying to be an adult now, OK?
302
00:17:16,266 --> 00:17:18,464
I actually want to know how
you feel about me.
303
00:17:18,466 --> 00:17:20,704
I don't care about the
shit-storm it could cause.
304
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:21,944
I don't care about Kate,
305
00:17:21,946 --> 00:17:24,184
I mean, I think she's probably
a lesbian anyway.
306
00:17:24,186 --> 00:17:26,864
I just need you to admit you don't
just flirt with me for kicks.
307
00:17:26,866 --> 00:17:29,344
OK. Just so I
know that I'm not crazy.
308
00:17:29,346 --> 00:17:30,504
Fuck off!
309
00:17:30,506 --> 00:17:32,264
Can you drop it please?
Just for a second.
310
00:17:32,266 --> 00:17:36,266
- You're making me nervous.
- Sit down.
311
00:17:41,866 --> 00:17:43,544
Why do you do it?
312
00:17:43,546 --> 00:17:45,704
- Power?
- Yeah.
313
00:17:45,706 --> 00:17:47,624
But you would never actually kiss me?
314
00:17:47,626 --> 00:17:49,944
I've been trying
since we were 14, baby.
315
00:17:49,946 --> 00:17:51,824
Bullshit. Kiss me, then.
316
00:17:51,826 --> 00:17:53,144
Tease!
317
00:17:53,146 --> 00:17:56,104
Coming from you!
318
00:17:56,106 --> 00:17:57,824
- You kiss me.
- You kiss me.
319
00:17:57,826 --> 00:18:01,826
- You kiss me.
- You kiss me.
320
00:18:02,306 --> 00:18:04,264
Lu, you're kissing me.
321
00:18:04,266 --> 00:18:05,664
I know.
322
00:18:05,666 --> 00:18:08,344
Woah, woah, woah!
323
00:18:08,346 --> 00:18:10,104
You just won't lose, will you?!
324
00:18:10,106 --> 00:18:14,106
- You actually kissed me.
- Yeah, that was...
325
00:18:17,266 --> 00:18:20,024
- You don't actually think
Kate is a lesbian, do you? - No!
326
00:18:20,026 --> 00:18:23,864
OK. Oh, my God. Lu?
327
00:18:23,866 --> 00:18:27,144
- I'm such a dick.
- I didn't think in a million years you'd... Lu? Do you?
328
00:18:27,146 --> 00:18:29,464
- It's OK, it's fine,
- I know you can't...
329
00:18:29,466 --> 00:18:33,466
You're serious? Lu, I've been in love
with you... I'm joking, you dick!
330
00:18:36,186 --> 00:18:39,744
Oh right. Course. Touche! Me too.
331
00:18:39,746 --> 00:18:42,344
- Me too.
- Me too.
332
00:18:42,346 --> 00:18:45,864
Good.
333
00:18:45,866 --> 00:18:49,064
I should probably go and sort
this tampon out now.
334
00:18:49,066 --> 00:18:53,066
Yeah. Good.
335
00:19:01,346 --> 00:19:03,264
I am not going on a date with you.
336
00:19:03,266 --> 00:19:05,704
- Why not?
- You'll eat me alive.
337
00:19:05,706 --> 00:19:09,706
Maybe. You might like it.
If we don't try we'll never know.
338
00:19:11,226 --> 00:19:12,984
Don't be a scaredy-cunt.
339
00:19:12,986 --> 00:19:15,104
Oh, that is a horrible word.
340
00:19:15,106 --> 00:19:17,904
That is my favourite word.
341
00:19:17,906 --> 00:19:21,906
Say it, cunt, and let's get dinner.
342
00:19:22,426 --> 00:19:26,426
Cunt! Oh, God protect me.
343
00:19:28,346 --> 00:19:30,144
Magnifique.
344
00:19:30,146 --> 00:19:32,064
The prize is in the waiting room!
345
00:19:32,066 --> 00:19:33,704
Shut that pretty mouth, baby.
346
00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:37,706
Let's go.
347
00:19:44,026 --> 00:19:48,026
Hey guys! Tequila!
348
00:20:24,666 --> 00:20:28,666
I am fun!
349
00:20:30,906 --> 00:20:34,906
Don't be a scaredy-cunt.
350
00:20:39,346 --> 00:20:41,104
I am not anal!
351
00:20:41,106 --> 00:20:43,464
- Baby...
- You say I am not anal!
352
00:20:43,466 --> 00:20:44,904
You are not anal.
353
00:20:44,906 --> 00:20:47,984
And don't think I don't know that
because I make all the fun,
354
00:20:47,986 --> 00:20:51,986
I can't have any of the fun because
I always know where the prize is!
355
00:20:52,146 --> 00:20:54,064
I'm the fun one, OK?
356
00:20:54,066 --> 00:20:57,944
In here, it's all
crazy crazy in here!
357
00:20:57,946 --> 00:21:01,946
Whoo! Look at me!
I am out of control!
358
00:21:03,666 --> 00:21:05,864
Woah!
359
00:21:05,866 --> 00:21:08,064
Sorry. I'm a dick.
360
00:21:08,066 --> 00:21:12,066
It's OK. I know it's because
you're sad, but we are here.
361
00:21:12,586 --> 00:21:16,586
Thank you for my party.
Where's the prize?
362
00:21:17,466 --> 00:21:21,224
(It's in the incubator!)
363
00:21:21,226 --> 00:21:25,226
Come here, pumpkin.
364
00:21:29,546 --> 00:21:33,546
Yeeaaah! Winner, winner!
365
00:21:34,866 --> 00:21:38,264
Where's my baby gurl?
366
00:21:38,266 --> 00:21:40,544
This is for you!
367
00:21:40,546 --> 00:21:43,064
ALL GASP
368
00:21:43,066 --> 00:21:45,304
Argh! Argh! That was horrible!
369
00:21:45,306 --> 00:21:46,744
Head forward, pinch the top.
370
00:21:46,746 --> 00:21:48,664
And who's this guy?
371
00:21:48,666 --> 00:21:52,666
- He's mine.
- Really?!
372
00:21:58,466 --> 00:22:02,064
Thank you. He's unbelievably hot.
See you on Monday.
373
00:22:02,066 --> 00:22:06,066
Slut!
374
00:22:08,146 --> 00:22:12,146
D'accord. Bon soir. Happy birthday.
375
00:22:12,626 --> 00:22:16,144
Happy birthday!
I've had such a lovely night.
376
00:22:16,146 --> 00:22:17,504
So nice to hang out with...
377
00:22:17,506 --> 00:22:20,144
If I throw up in my bed,
I'm gonna sleep in yours, OK?
378
00:22:20,146 --> 00:22:21,384
OK.
379
00:22:21,386 --> 00:22:23,664
- I am going to be sick.
- Yeah?
380
00:22:23,666 --> 00:22:27,024
And then I am going to be
so anal with you.
381
00:22:27,026 --> 00:22:30,864
Whooo!
382
00:22:30,866 --> 00:22:32,504
Welcome to the family, Lu.
383
00:22:32,506 --> 00:22:35,024
Oh, yeah, I think I'm just gonna
find somewhere else to...
384
00:22:35,026 --> 00:22:38,504
No. No! You are staying here.
385
00:22:38,506 --> 00:22:42,506
Because, you are special to him,
so you're special on me.
386
00:22:44,466 --> 00:22:47,784
- Yeah, I think it might be weird.
- Why would it be weird?
387
00:22:47,786 --> 00:22:50,944
- It wouldn't be weird.
- It wouldn't be.
388
00:22:50,946 --> 00:22:53,744
Good! Goooooood.
389
00:22:53,746 --> 00:22:57,746
- Thanks, Kate.
- Pffffft! I'm chill.
390
00:23:00,586 --> 00:23:03,384
So that's cool that...
Yeah, it's gonna be...
391
00:23:03,386 --> 00:23:07,386
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- Yeah, cool. - Cool.
392
00:23:12,906 --> 00:23:14,064
Why are you being weird?
393
00:23:14,066 --> 00:23:16,224
He calls her my Lulu.
394
00:23:16,226 --> 00:23:17,784
That's so hot.
395
00:23:17,786 --> 00:23:19,704
Which bit do I pick up
when it rings?
396
00:23:19,706 --> 00:23:20,904
Sorry, is this a joke?
397
00:23:20,906 --> 00:23:22,584
- Hello, Colin.
- Bad!
398
00:23:22,586 --> 00:23:24,064
I think you should live with me.
399
00:23:24,066 --> 00:23:25,864
I think you would like
being painted.
400
00:23:25,866 --> 00:23:27,344
I'll be generous with your penis.
401
00:23:27,346 --> 00:23:28,544
HE CRIES
402
00:23:28,546 --> 00:23:29,784
Hey guys, great work.
403
00:23:29,786 --> 00:23:31,984
Fred, I need to ask you to
step outside.
404
00:23:31,986 --> 00:23:33,224
Where are we going?
405
00:23:33,226 --> 00:23:35,586
Aaaaargh!
406
00:23:35,636 --> 00:23:40,186
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