Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,069 --> 00:00:04,937
It's called "eSports," and it's real.
_
2
00:00:04,939 --> 00:00:07,139
Professional video gamers
going head-to-head
3
00:00:07,141 --> 00:00:09,018
as a stadium full of people watch.
4
00:00:09,019 --> 00:00:10,965
Oh, and here he comes,
5
00:00:10,965 --> 00:00:12,915
the defending "Voyage Quest" champion...
6
00:00:12,916 --> 00:00:14,794
BoneDevil666.
7
00:00:14,794 --> 00:00:16,902
Let's see if we can get a word.
Mr. Devil! Mr. Devil!
8
00:00:16,904 --> 00:00:18,504
Can I get two words from you?
9
00:00:18,981 --> 00:00:20,906
Uh, sure. Yes.
10
00:00:20,908 --> 00:00:23,642
A win for you today
would bring your team
11
00:00:23,644 --> 00:00:25,511
one step closer
to the world championships
12
00:00:25,513 --> 00:00:26,773
in Pyongyang.
13
00:00:26,774 --> 00:00:28,380
Are you feeling the pressure?
14
00:00:28,382 --> 00:00:30,650
The Big Bone dominates "Voyage Quest."
15
00:00:30,652 --> 00:00:32,325
That's an undisputed fact.
16
00:00:32,326 --> 00:00:34,053
And anyone who gets in his way
17
00:00:34,055 --> 00:00:35,655
is gonna be looking at the business end
18
00:00:35,657 --> 00:00:37,521
of a Complainium Broadsword.
19
00:00:37,522 --> 00:00:39,183
- No more questions.
- What?
20
00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:41,002
Hey, hey, hey. Can I get your autograph?
21
00:00:41,002 --> 00:00:42,127
Oh, yeah, sure.
22
00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:43,995
Who should I, uh, make it out to?
23
00:00:43,997 --> 00:00:45,264
Oh, my God!
24
00:00:45,266 --> 00:00:48,934
BoneDevil666 has just
been ruthlessly attacked!
25
00:00:48,936 --> 00:00:51,470
Why? Why? Why? Why?
26
00:00:55,743 --> 00:00:59,879
BoneDevil666 is the nom de guerre
27
00:00:59,881 --> 00:01:02,836
of 22-year-old professional
gamer Paul Boneson.
28
00:01:04,418 --> 00:01:06,285
Sorry, Murphy. Above your pay grade.
29
00:01:06,287 --> 00:01:07,710
Come on, Hoffman!
30
00:01:10,692 --> 00:01:12,892
Boneson plays a game
called "Voyage Quest"
31
00:01:12,894 --> 00:01:15,602
for a professional gaming team
known as SharkSpark.
32
00:01:15,666 --> 00:01:16,962
The attack, which you're seeing now,
33
00:01:16,964 --> 00:01:18,364
has taken his fingers out of the running
34
00:01:18,366 --> 00:01:19,498
for the world championships.
35
00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:21,500
Sir, I thought we were taking cases
36
00:01:21,502 --> 00:01:23,435
outside of law enforcement,
37
00:01:23,437 --> 00:01:26,972
like international espionage
and haunted trains?
38
00:01:26,974 --> 00:01:28,507
Damn it, Mom.
Your unique brand of skepticism
39
00:01:28,509 --> 00:01:29,975
is gonna tear this team apart!
40
00:01:29,976 --> 00:01:33,245
Fortunately, I anticipated
Tribeca's rock-hard cynicism.
41
00:01:33,247 --> 00:01:35,114
Therefore, this briefing will be given
42
00:01:35,116 --> 00:01:37,917
by the director of the Special
Division Force himself...
43
00:01:37,919 --> 00:01:40,465
Vice President Joe Perry.
44
00:01:45,291 --> 00:01:47,358
BoneDevil666 is the nom de guerre
45
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:48,892
of a 22-year-old gamer named Paul...
46
00:01:48,894 --> 00:01:49,897
Sorry, Joe. I-I covered that.
47
00:01:49,898 --> 00:01:51,706
You were further down the
road than I thought.
48
00:01:51,707 --> 00:01:53,831
Did Tribeca show her
unique brand of skepticism?
49
00:01:53,833 --> 00:01:54,712
That's exactly where we are.
50
00:01:54,713 --> 00:01:56,466
The video gaming industry
51
00:01:56,467 --> 00:01:58,382
brings more money into the U.S. economy
52
00:01:58,383 --> 00:02:01,305
than missiles, oil, and
coffee-cup sleeves combined.
53
00:02:01,307 --> 00:02:04,457
If a foreign entity wants
to disrupt that industry,
54
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:05,405
we wanna know about it,
55
00:02:05,406 --> 00:02:07,778
and ideally, we wanna stop it.
56
00:02:07,780 --> 00:02:09,640
You know what I just heard you say?
57
00:02:09,641 --> 00:02:11,808
"I'm sending you to
prison for 20 years."
58
00:02:11,809 --> 00:02:13,445
Oh, my God. Are you still on that?
59
00:02:13,446 --> 00:02:14,923
It's been like 20 years.
60
00:02:14,924 --> 00:02:17,011
You locked me up and threw away the key!
61
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:19,207
I didn't know that was the only copy!
62
00:02:20,393 --> 00:02:22,726
Look, Tribeca,
that was a different time.
63
00:02:22,727 --> 00:02:24,740
Back then, putting people
in jail was all the rage,
64
00:02:24,741 --> 00:02:27,120
and I guess I just jumped
on the bandwagon.
65
00:02:27,121 --> 00:02:29,533
All I care about is
the safety of this nation.
66
00:02:29,535 --> 00:02:31,335
That's why I brought you on board,
67
00:02:31,337 --> 00:02:33,396
because I knew I could count on you.
68
00:02:33,713 --> 00:02:36,540
So, can I... count on you...
69
00:02:36,542 --> 00:02:39,224
to care... about the safety...
of our nation?
70
00:02:42,740 --> 00:02:43,611
Yes, sir.
71
00:02:43,985 --> 00:02:44,955
All right, then.
72
00:02:45,762 --> 00:02:48,478
BoneDevil666 is recovering
in a hospital bed
73
00:02:48,479 --> 00:02:50,169
in Little Rock, Arkansas.
74
00:02:50,383 --> 00:02:52,555
It's the gaming capital
of the United States.
75
00:02:52,556 --> 00:02:54,358
Find out who attacked him and why.
76
00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:56,224
And even though everything you're doing
77
00:02:56,225 --> 00:02:58,731
will be perfectly legal,
don't tell anyone anything,
78
00:02:58,732 --> 00:03:01,055
unless you follow up with,
"Just kidding."
79
00:03:09,259 --> 00:03:11,442
So, you didn't get a look
at the guy who attacked you?
80
00:03:11,861 --> 00:03:13,839
I just remember
he was wearing a ski mask.
81
00:03:13,841 --> 00:03:15,794
Lose the attitude, you little prick.
82
00:03:16,054 --> 00:03:17,827
Now, it's gonna be painful,
83
00:03:17,828 --> 00:03:19,340
but I wanna get your fingers moving.
84
00:03:24,687 --> 00:03:26,402
I can't do it.
85
00:03:27,466 --> 00:03:29,948
Who are these people?
What are they doing here?
86
00:03:29,949 --> 00:03:31,165
We're trying to get to the bottom
87
00:03:31,166 --> 00:03:32,602
of who attacked Mr. Boneson.
88
00:03:32,603 --> 00:03:34,695
A better question might be,
"Who are you?"
89
00:03:34,696 --> 00:03:36,667
And an even better question might be,
90
00:03:36,669 --> 00:03:39,270
"If prostitution is the oldest
profession in the world,
91
00:03:39,272 --> 00:03:41,805
who earned the money to pay
for the first prostitute?"
92
00:03:41,807 --> 00:03:44,341
I'm Becky Bunnker, and it's
obvious what happened.
93
00:03:44,343 --> 00:03:47,962
Someone, who probably doesn't
stand for the national anthem,
94
00:03:47,963 --> 00:03:49,873
didn't want him
to become world champion.
95
00:03:49,874 --> 00:03:52,126
Yeah, well, it doesn't seem
like Mr. Jelly Fingers over here
96
00:03:52,127 --> 00:03:54,143
even cares about
the world championships.
97
00:03:54,144 --> 00:03:56,868
You couldn't be more wrong.
"Voyage Quest" is his life.
98
00:03:56,869 --> 00:03:58,940
I don't know who told you otherwise.
99
00:03:58,941 --> 00:04:01,720
Actually, Beck, I'm just done
with this whole thing.
100
00:04:01,721 --> 00:04:03,498
I think I'm just gonna get a job
101
00:04:03,499 --> 00:04:05,375
teaching animals to play video games.
102
00:04:05,376 --> 00:04:07,010
You don't know what
you're saying, BoneDevil.
103
00:04:07,011 --> 00:04:08,499
We had plans, right?
104
00:04:08,501 --> 00:04:10,722
We were gonna buy that
Fuddruckers with your winnings.
105
00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:14,237
Tribeca.
106
00:04:15,308 --> 00:04:16,974
Right away, sir.
107
00:04:17,364 --> 00:04:18,151
This just in...
108
00:04:18,152 --> 00:04:20,444
the attacker turned himself
in to Little Rock PD.
109
00:04:20,446 --> 00:04:21,499
He's at the station now.
110
00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:23,247
Well, don't you think
we should have a word with him
111
00:04:23,249 --> 00:04:24,782
before somebody else does?
112
00:04:30,656 --> 00:04:32,939
How much longer do I have to wait here?
113
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,111
I'm trying to confess to a crime!
114
00:04:35,329 --> 00:04:36,566
Take a number.
115
00:04:36,918 --> 00:04:40,119
- Yo, pastrami, please.
- Coming up.
116
00:05:01,087 --> 00:05:02,663
I want answers.
117
00:05:02,664 --> 00:05:03,863
And I want 'em now!
118
00:05:17,504 --> 00:05:18,528
Just do it.
119
00:05:19,016 --> 00:05:20,025
Just get it over with.
120
00:05:20,026 --> 00:05:21,680
We just wanna know what happened.
121
00:05:21,681 --> 00:05:23,347
They're gonna come after me, man.
122
00:05:23,349 --> 00:05:26,003
They're gonna kill you because
of what you did to Paul Boneson?
123
00:05:26,004 --> 00:05:27,151
Yes!
124
00:05:27,153 --> 00:05:28,686
To keep me quiet!
125
00:05:28,688 --> 00:05:29,687
Do you know them?
126
00:05:29,689 --> 00:05:31,155
It's my team.
127
00:05:31,157 --> 00:05:33,291
It's SharkSpark. They're me. I'm them.
128
00:05:33,293 --> 00:05:36,494
Why would SharkSpark wanna
go after its own players?
129
00:05:36,698 --> 00:05:39,897
It's all about coins, man.
All they want is coins.
130
00:05:39,899 --> 00:05:41,910
"They"? The company?
131
00:05:42,234 --> 00:05:44,368
It's the company working
with the gamers,
132
00:05:44,370 --> 00:05:47,037
working with the Mafia,
working with the CIA,
133
00:05:47,039 --> 00:05:49,123
working with a temp agency.
134
00:05:49,909 --> 00:05:51,709
This is a riddle wrapped in a sudoku
135
00:05:51,711 --> 00:05:54,044
tied up with a crossword
suspended over the jumble.
136
00:05:54,046 --> 00:05:57,007
And they're gonna come after me.
I'm a dead man.
137
00:05:57,517 --> 00:05:59,373
Look, we're gonna keep you safe.
138
00:05:59,509 --> 00:06:01,108
You can't keep me safe from them.
139
00:06:01,110 --> 00:06:02,712
We're supposed to try.
140
00:06:08,060 --> 00:06:09,518
Why don't we take him to a motel,
141
00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:10,995
sit with him till he calms down?
142
00:06:10,997 --> 00:06:12,262
You sure?
143
00:06:12,264 --> 00:06:14,198
W-We don't even really know
what's going on.
144
00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:16,803
Well, you said it yourself,
it's a stupid case.
145
00:06:20,272 --> 00:06:22,058
You have nothing to worry about.
146
00:06:23,523 --> 00:06:25,343
I won't let you out of my sight.
147
00:06:27,547 --> 00:06:28,965
I'm gonna run in for
some beer real quick.
148
00:06:28,966 --> 00:06:30,196
You want anything?
149
00:06:30,683 --> 00:06:31,749
Could you please hurry?!
150
00:06:31,751 --> 00:06:33,751
Yeah, totally. I'll be right back.
151
00:06:48,568 --> 00:06:49,967
Should I get this ski mask?
152
00:06:49,969 --> 00:06:51,573
Ah, you know what?
153
00:06:51,574 --> 00:06:53,281
I'm never gonna use this.
154
00:07:03,249 --> 00:07:05,516
Crazy sale on knives, dude!
You want one?!
155
00:07:05,518 --> 00:07:06,450
Aaah!
156
00:07:06,452 --> 00:07:07,732
I'm getting you one.
157
00:07:16,062 --> 00:07:18,596
Yo! They're doing free tank rides!
158
00:07:18,598 --> 00:07:20,375
- You gotta try it!
- Aaaah!
159
00:07:20,376 --> 00:07:21,679
Shit. Right. The beer.
160
00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:28,278
Oh.
161
00:07:29,876 --> 00:07:31,029
Finally.
162
00:07:31,238 --> 00:07:32,575
Can we get out of here?
163
00:07:38,910 --> 00:07:40,056
All right!
164
00:07:42,354 --> 00:07:43,821
Here we go!
165
00:07:48,564 --> 00:07:51,816
Ah, no need, dude. Beer's on me.
166
00:07:56,896 --> 00:07:58,436
You're a Fudgsicle.
167
00:07:58,438 --> 00:08:01,239
You're a Creamsicle. You're a Bomb Pop.
168
00:08:01,241 --> 00:08:03,507
You're lactose intolerant.
169
00:08:03,509 --> 00:08:05,910
Hey! Hey!
170
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:09,359
A man died here! Have a little respect!
171
00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:15,353
I want answers!
172
00:08:18,139 --> 00:08:19,570
I found something.
173
00:08:20,059 --> 00:08:21,459
What the hell is that?
174
00:08:21,461 --> 00:08:23,060
It's like a dollar, but not.
175
00:08:23,062 --> 00:08:24,595
No, no, no. It's got too many colors.
176
00:08:24,597 --> 00:08:25,352
It's a Euro.
177
00:08:25,353 --> 00:08:27,998
Maybe fake money from a board game?
178
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:30,134
Look at this seam of silver
going through it.
179
00:08:30,810 --> 00:08:33,203
It's a Euro.
It's money they use in Europe.
180
00:08:33,205 --> 00:08:35,273
Whatever it is, it scares
the hell out of me.
181
00:08:35,275 --> 00:08:38,127
I can slip this to a contact I
have at the Mint, off the record.
182
00:08:38,128 --> 00:08:40,077
So, we have a kid carrying
183
00:08:40,079 --> 00:08:42,680
some kind of spooky
money in his pocket...
184
00:08:42,682 --> 00:08:44,014
A Euro.
185
00:08:44,016 --> 00:08:46,611
Someone needs to go
undercover with this...
186
00:08:46,612 --> 00:08:48,418
SharkSpark Gaming team.
187
00:08:48,420 --> 00:08:49,553
I'll do it.
188
00:08:49,555 --> 00:08:51,489
Mom, you've never played
a video game in your life.
189
00:08:51,491 --> 00:08:53,557
- I played Simon.
- That's not a video game!
190
00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:54,551
It had a battery.
191
00:08:54,553 --> 00:08:55,893
No, it needs to be me.
192
00:08:56,233 --> 00:08:58,700
Right, the one good thing about
being abandoned at the age of two
193
00:08:58,701 --> 00:09:00,715
is that every foster
home I was placed in
194
00:09:00,716 --> 00:09:02,904
had a different video game system.
195
00:09:02,906 --> 00:09:03,907
A.J.'s our man.
196
00:09:03,908 --> 00:09:06,104
No. No, no, no. It's too dangerous.
197
00:09:06,105 --> 00:09:07,843
I must've missed the meeting
where you decide
198
00:09:07,845 --> 00:09:09,357
which missions I go on
and which I don't!
199
00:09:09,358 --> 00:09:10,207
It was on the calendar.
200
00:09:10,209 --> 00:09:11,647
I am not saying this as your mother.
201
00:09:11,649 --> 00:09:14,375
I am saying this as somebody
who has 30 years of experience!
202
00:09:14,376 --> 00:09:16,416
20 of which were behind bars, so... Aah!
203
00:09:16,417 --> 00:09:17,822
You listen to me, you little punk...
204
00:09:17,823 --> 00:09:20,474
- Hey! Break it up!
- You stay out of this!
205
00:09:20,475 --> 00:09:23,025
Hey! Hands off the big man!
206
00:09:23,585 --> 00:09:26,247
Everybody's picking on Tribeca,
and I don't like it!
207
00:09:26,248 --> 00:09:27,385
Break it up!
208
00:09:28,265 --> 00:09:29,517
Where's A.J.?
209
00:09:34,412 --> 00:09:35,612
What do you want, idiot?
210
00:09:35,806 --> 00:09:37,473
Heard you're down a couple gamers.
211
00:09:37,475 --> 00:09:39,274
Thanks, Google News Alert.
212
00:09:39,276 --> 00:09:40,547
What else you got for me?
213
00:09:40,548 --> 00:09:43,255
Well, just so happens
I'm looking for a new team.
214
00:09:43,256 --> 00:09:45,891
Sorry, new phone. Who dis?
215
00:09:45,892 --> 00:09:48,616
Look, we both know gold coins
are where it's at, bro.
216
00:09:48,905 --> 00:09:50,952
Just so happens,
I just took second place
217
00:09:50,954 --> 00:09:53,051
at the Slovenian
"Voyage Quest" Championships
218
00:09:53,052 --> 00:09:55,090
with over 10 million gold coins.
219
00:09:55,092 --> 00:09:57,395
Slovenia? That's hardcore.
220
00:09:57,396 --> 00:10:00,905
BaguetteBardot1-800-555-1212
won that, didn't she?
221
00:10:00,906 --> 00:10:03,219
You don't beat BaguetteBardot.
222
00:10:03,220 --> 00:10:05,670
Not on her worst day. Come on in.
223
00:10:12,309 --> 00:10:14,629
Have a seat, grab a headset.
224
00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:16,748
You can show us what you got.
225
00:10:18,916 --> 00:10:19,790
Oh.
226
00:10:21,919 --> 00:10:24,319
You want a little something
to get your engine running
227
00:10:24,321 --> 00:10:25,650
before I check you out?
228
00:10:25,651 --> 00:10:26,560
Uh...
229
00:10:27,324 --> 00:10:29,060
I don't recognize that brand.
230
00:10:29,727 --> 00:10:32,096
That's 'cause it's illegal, bitch.
231
00:10:32,730 --> 00:10:35,271
It's strawberry lemonade mixed
with horse adrenalin.
232
00:10:35,272 --> 00:10:36,732
They used to give it to the NASA monkeys
233
00:10:36,734 --> 00:10:38,400
to keep them awake in space.
234
00:10:38,402 --> 00:10:39,605
Well, sure, I'll try it.
235
00:10:54,284 --> 00:10:55,751
Whoo!
236
00:11:07,765 --> 00:11:10,165
Okay, so, all you gotta do
is craft a spear,
237
00:11:10,167 --> 00:11:13,072
kill a Lesser Nerblet,
and raid his hut for the coins.
238
00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:14,242
That sounds easy!
239
00:11:14,583 --> 00:11:16,142
Yeah. Right.
240
00:11:17,498 --> 00:11:18,645
Huh? Huh?
241
00:11:18,646 --> 00:11:19,403
Now do it.
242
00:11:20,177 --> 00:11:21,689
Well, why stop there?
243
00:11:23,688 --> 00:11:24,881
Tie my hands.
244
00:11:28,185 --> 00:11:30,652
And... go.
245
00:11:32,986 --> 00:11:35,190
My hut! My coins!
246
00:11:37,461 --> 00:11:38,316
Done!
247
00:11:38,317 --> 00:11:39,932
You can have Ozzy's room.
248
00:11:45,269 --> 00:11:46,598
Whoo.
249
00:11:56,580 --> 00:11:58,129
We haven't seen Ozzy for a couple days,
250
00:11:58,130 --> 00:11:59,739
so I guess all this stuff is yours now.
251
00:11:59,740 --> 00:12:00,778
Hey, man, is that the bathroom?
252
00:12:00,779 --> 00:12:02,634
'Cause this horse adrenaline
is going right through me.
253
00:12:02,635 --> 00:12:04,096
Yeah, don't freak out
254
00:12:04,097 --> 00:12:05,937
if you fill up the whole bowl, okay?
255
00:12:06,790 --> 00:12:08,081
Welcome to SharkSpark.
256
00:12:14,464 --> 00:12:15,663
Hello?
257
00:12:19,097 --> 00:12:20,703
You got a bad washer in here.
258
00:12:20,704 --> 00:12:21,961
I should have one in my truck.
259
00:12:21,962 --> 00:12:23,381
Okay. Thanks.
260
00:12:29,079 --> 00:12:31,562
So, you're the new
number one around here?
261
00:12:31,563 --> 00:12:32,815
- Looks that way.
- Hmm.
262
00:12:32,816 --> 00:12:36,177
Being number one comes
with certain... perks.
263
00:12:36,178 --> 00:12:37,317
And what are those?
264
00:12:37,318 --> 00:12:38,787
Full medical, dental,
265
00:12:38,788 --> 00:12:40,140
and optical coverage,
266
00:12:40,141 --> 00:12:43,013
including one pair
of free glasses per year.
267
00:12:43,014 --> 00:12:45,469
Ooh. Designer brands included?
268
00:12:45,470 --> 00:12:46,939
Oh, yes.
269
00:12:46,940 --> 00:12:49,319
Sounds like I'm gonna be
well taken care of.
270
00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:50,456
Oh, I almost forgot.
271
00:12:50,968 --> 00:12:52,616
You get a free team shirt.
272
00:12:54,905 --> 00:12:56,438
Do I get the team bra?
273
00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,731
Let's see how good of a player you are.
274
00:13:01,325 --> 00:13:02,723
Oh, my God.
275
00:13:03,029 --> 00:13:04,496
Oh, my God!
276
00:13:04,815 --> 00:13:06,514
You're amazing!
277
00:13:06,516 --> 00:13:07,761
You wanna give it a shot?
278
00:13:07,762 --> 00:13:09,443
No, I don't understand these games.
279
00:13:09,444 --> 00:13:10,759
I just like to watch.
280
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:12,454
Ooh, grab the coins. Grab the coins!
281
00:13:12,456 --> 00:13:13,855
What is it with you people
and the coins?
282
00:13:13,857 --> 00:13:17,584
That's not how you win!
God, this mattress sucks!
283
00:13:17,585 --> 00:13:18,994
This...
284
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:23,505
What the hell?
285
00:13:24,101 --> 00:13:25,166
Aah!
286
00:13:27,715 --> 00:13:28,633
Ah!
287
00:13:31,093 --> 00:13:32,162
Please don't kill me!
288
00:13:32,163 --> 00:13:34,009
What is it with you people
and getting killed?!
289
00:13:34,011 --> 00:13:36,344
He's crazy! He'll stop at nothing!
290
00:13:36,346 --> 00:13:37,894
- Who?
- You don't understand.
291
00:13:37,895 --> 00:13:39,281
This is so much bigger than...
292
00:13:39,283 --> 00:13:40,503
No, no, no! Wait, wait, wait.
293
00:13:40,504 --> 00:13:42,320
Don't start that. Just let me think.
294
00:13:42,752 --> 00:13:44,999
Gold coins. Everybody wants gold coins.
295
00:13:45,856 --> 00:13:49,574
And this kid somehow's got
piles of fake money.
296
00:13:49,648 --> 00:13:51,359
I-It's gotta be connected!
297
00:13:51,361 --> 00:13:52,427
It is connected! I can tell you...
298
00:13:52,429 --> 00:13:53,695
Would you shut up for a second?
299
00:13:53,697 --> 00:13:55,814
I'm trying to piece this thing together.
300
00:13:56,033 --> 00:13:57,849
What if it isn't fake money?
301
00:13:58,636 --> 00:14:01,065
Wait, what if it's real money
and the coins are...
302
00:14:01,066 --> 00:14:02,233
He's laundering money through the ga...
303
00:14:02,234 --> 00:14:04,720
Can you just be quiet for five seconds?!
304
00:14:05,575 --> 00:14:07,397
Okay, so, you got fake money going in,
305
00:14:07,398 --> 00:14:08,509
real money coming back.
306
00:14:08,510 --> 00:14:11,367
Ooh! It's laundering! Of course!
307
00:14:11,368 --> 00:14:13,798
BoneDevil, he... he doesn't
want to collect coins,
308
00:14:13,799 --> 00:14:16,384
so he's useless, so Ozzy takes him out,
309
00:14:16,386 --> 00:14:18,409
but Ozzy's got a big mouth,
so they take Ozzy out.
310
00:14:18,410 --> 00:14:20,933
- Ozzy's dead?!
- Can you just shush?!
311
00:14:20,934 --> 00:14:22,450
You need to protect me!
312
00:14:22,451 --> 00:14:24,460
'Cause if he thinks I talked, he's...
313
00:14:24,462 --> 00:14:26,760
Look, I am definitely good
at protecting people.
314
00:14:26,761 --> 00:14:28,610
You don't need to worry about that.
315
00:14:28,611 --> 00:14:31,641
But I need to meet this big guy
who's running everything.
316
00:14:31,642 --> 00:14:33,335
Absolutely not! No way!
317
00:14:33,337 --> 00:14:35,688
Come on! There's no way I can finish it.
318
00:14:37,229 --> 00:14:39,160
It's an international
money-laundering scheme.
319
00:14:39,161 --> 00:14:42,482
The money changes hands through
the gold coins in "Voyage Quest."
320
00:14:42,483 --> 00:14:45,347
Oh, and those weird
paper rectangles we found,
321
00:14:45,349 --> 00:14:47,086
they're called Euros.
322
00:14:47,348 --> 00:14:49,284
This is from my buddy at the Mint.
323
00:14:49,286 --> 00:14:50,547
They're called Euros.
324
00:14:51,983 --> 00:14:53,985
Oh, and Becky,
who was BoneDevil's girlfriend,
325
00:14:53,986 --> 00:14:55,891
but is now my girlfriend...
I'll get to that in a second...
326
00:14:55,893 --> 00:14:57,451
she's gonna arrange a
meet-up with the head
327
00:14:57,452 --> 00:14:58,946
- of the whole operation.
- That's great.
328
00:14:58,947 --> 00:15:00,696
We'll go in as a team, fully armed...
329
00:15:00,698 --> 00:15:02,729
No, no, no, no. It has to be only me.
330
00:15:02,730 --> 00:15:03,626
No, we...
331
00:15:04,634 --> 00:15:07,173
All right, just don't
let your guard down
332
00:15:07,174 --> 00:15:09,771
because some floozy let you
jiggle her love button.
333
00:15:09,773 --> 00:15:11,973
You can't push someone else's
button in this game.
334
00:15:11,975 --> 00:15:12,777
You can in Simon.
335
00:15:12,778 --> 00:15:14,682
All right, everybody. Just stop.
336
00:15:15,994 --> 00:15:17,788
All right, A.J. It's all you.
337
00:15:18,516 --> 00:15:19,715
Yeah!
338
00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:31,391
Come in, come in.
339
00:15:32,362 --> 00:15:35,769
Pay no attention to... the rainbow!
340
00:15:37,234 --> 00:15:39,586
So beautiful, don't you think?
341
00:15:40,095 --> 00:15:41,725
Fireball!
342
00:15:43,626 --> 00:15:45,839
Bienvenue, welcome.
343
00:15:46,504 --> 00:15:50,065
My name... is Pierre Cardin.
344
00:15:50,848 --> 00:15:53,717
And I hear that you are
the new Chef des Jeux Vidéos.
345
00:15:53,718 --> 00:15:55,012
Uh, uh, yeah, I guess.
346
00:15:55,013 --> 00:15:56,727
I mean, some people think
I'm pretty good.
347
00:15:58,273 --> 00:15:59,313
"Pretty good"?
348
00:15:59,494 --> 00:16:01,160
Pretty good, mon Dieu!
349
00:16:01,591 --> 00:16:03,581
But you delight me with your modesty.
350
00:16:03,582 --> 00:16:05,794
He's actually one of the best
I've ever seen.
351
00:16:05,796 --> 00:16:07,183
Hmm.
352
00:16:07,184 --> 00:16:10,342
You know, people love to throw
around this word "best"...
353
00:16:10,567 --> 00:16:11,639
Best Buy,
354
00:16:12,126 --> 00:16:13,603
Seattle's Best Coffee,
355
00:16:13,857 --> 00:16:15,555
This Country's Best Yogurt.
356
00:16:16,244 --> 00:16:17,760
But these are just words, no?
357
00:16:17,761 --> 00:16:20,094
Would you be willing to, say...
358
00:16:20,096 --> 00:16:24,099
stake your life on the fact
that you are the best?
359
00:16:26,036 --> 00:16:27,569
I-I'm not sure I follow.
360
00:16:27,571 --> 00:16:29,971
This is the latest in VR gaming.
361
00:16:30,503 --> 00:16:32,907
You will be completely, totally immersed
362
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:36,244
in the virtual landscape
of "Voyage Quest."
363
00:16:36,246 --> 00:16:38,713
You will not only see and hear
everything around you,
364
00:16:39,377 --> 00:16:43,539
but this is also what we call
total biological simulation,
365
00:16:44,188 --> 00:16:45,689
or total BS.
366
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,856
Wouldn't that be TBS?
367
00:16:48,432 --> 00:16:49,357
Very funny.
368
00:16:49,726 --> 00:16:51,393
What I mean to say is,
369
00:16:51,395 --> 00:16:55,969
that this game will connect
to your central nervous system.
370
00:16:56,626 --> 00:16:59,333
Whatever the avatar
experiences in the game,
371
00:16:59,335 --> 00:17:02,229
the game player will
experience, as well.
372
00:17:02,873 --> 00:17:07,316
If, for example,
your avatar were to... die,
373
00:17:08,678 --> 00:17:11,733
the human controller will die, as well.
374
00:17:14,818 --> 00:17:16,021
Mom?
375
00:17:16,352 --> 00:17:18,787
Jesus Christ. A.J., get out of there!
376
00:17:21,638 --> 00:17:22,464
All right.
377
00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:24,426
Let's give this a whirl.
378
00:17:24,813 --> 00:17:26,294
Now, how... how exactly
do you make this...
379
00:17:26,296 --> 00:17:28,230
Aah!
380
00:17:28,232 --> 00:17:31,833
The game is now connected
to your spinal cord.
381
00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:33,768
How... Oh.
382
00:17:33,770 --> 00:17:35,036
Okay.
383
00:17:35,038 --> 00:17:37,171
Uh...
384
00:17:37,173 --> 00:17:40,642
Okay, so, you got tennis, Ping-Pong...
385
00:17:40,644 --> 00:17:42,644
Keep scrolling down.
386
00:17:43,326 --> 00:17:44,446
"Voyage Quest."
387
00:17:44,448 --> 00:17:47,381
Now hit the virtual "start" button.
388
00:17:47,383 --> 00:17:48,246
Uh, okay.
389
00:17:50,254 --> 00:17:51,453
I'm in!
390
00:17:52,131 --> 00:17:53,070
Wow!
391
00:17:54,390 --> 00:17:55,886
It's so real.
392
00:17:56,593 --> 00:17:58,526
I-I-I can... I can feel
the breeze through my...
393
00:17:58,528 --> 00:18:01,329
Aah! Ow!
394
00:18:03,667 --> 00:18:05,297
Becky, what the hell?!
395
00:18:19,883 --> 00:18:23,082
BaguetteBardot? The world's best gamer.
396
00:18:23,483 --> 00:18:25,083
Enchanté.
397
00:18:25,355 --> 00:18:27,555
Obviously, the only way
for me to actually know
398
00:18:27,557 --> 00:18:31,445
if you are the best
is for you to play my champion.
399
00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:35,229
So, the rules will be as follows...
400
00:18:35,231 --> 00:18:39,873
If Baguette wins, well... you die.
401
00:18:40,904 --> 00:18:45,373
But if you win,
I will allow you to arrest me
402
00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:48,910
for money laundering
and international espionage,
403
00:18:49,212 --> 00:18:51,913
Angela Geils Jr.
404
00:18:53,450 --> 00:18:55,049
He's made. He's made!
405
00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:56,450
I don't like this!
406
00:18:56,452 --> 00:18:58,520
We wasted an entire half-sandwich!
407
00:18:58,522 --> 00:18:59,921
Scholls, you have to hack into the game!
408
00:18:59,923 --> 00:19:01,704
You have to get him out of there!
409
00:19:05,061 --> 00:19:05,601
It's...
410
00:19:07,263 --> 00:19:08,694
beautiful.
411
00:19:21,209 --> 00:19:22,744
Space Needle!
412
00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:24,478
Troll Blanket!
413
00:19:24,948 --> 00:19:26,548
Cornish Game Hen.
414
00:19:26,550 --> 00:19:27,511
Leg of Lamb!
415
00:19:27,512 --> 00:19:29,884
Grease Pencil!
416
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:34,288
Banana Peel!
417
00:19:34,290 --> 00:19:35,623
Ice Mushroom!
418
00:19:35,625 --> 00:19:36,558
Vapor Shield!
419
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:37,559
Fire Rain!
420
00:19:37,561 --> 00:19:39,093
Globe of Conservation!
421
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:40,370
Horn of Plenty!
422
00:19:41,727 --> 00:19:42,807
Technicolor Dreamcoat!
423
00:19:42,808 --> 00:19:44,432
- Aah!
- Elf Leg!
424
00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:45,633
Aaaah!
425
00:19:45,635 --> 00:19:47,769
- Elf Leg!
- No!
426
00:19:47,771 --> 00:19:50,638
- Elf Leg!
- Noooooo!
427
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:53,175
Dagger of Espadrille!
428
00:19:53,177 --> 00:19:56,044
Au revoir, Monsieur Geils!
429
00:19:56,046 --> 00:19:57,645
Au revoir!
430
00:19:57,647 --> 00:19:58,780
Nooooo!
431
00:20:01,135 --> 00:20:03,585
Simon says... "You're dead."
432
00:20:07,970 --> 00:20:08,661
No.
433
00:20:15,599 --> 00:20:17,131
You son of a...
434
00:20:23,740 --> 00:20:25,073
Cardin's in the wind.
435
00:20:25,075 --> 00:20:26,540
Cardin's in the wind!
436
00:20:26,542 --> 00:20:28,877
Don't sweat it. We'll pick you up in 20.
437
00:20:28,879 --> 00:20:30,212
Cardin will get his.
438
00:20:30,214 --> 00:20:32,013
Roger that.
439
00:20:46,029 --> 00:20:47,695
Ooh.
440
00:20:51,206 --> 00:20:53,402
This feels like a real Hula-Hoop!
441
00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:01,921
Synced and corrected by hawken45
for www.addic7ed.com
31252
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Icelandic
Irish
Japanese
Javanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbo-Croatian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof