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1
00:00:01,672 --> 00:00:03,106
(upbeat march plays)
2
00:00:03,140 --> 00:00:05,808
Good morning, USA!
3
00:00:05,843 --> 00:00:09,746
I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day
4
00:00:09,780 --> 00:00:12,715
The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face
5
00:00:12,750 --> 00:00:17,153
And he's shining a salute
to the American race
6
00:00:19,023 --> 00:00:22,425
Oh, boy, it's swell to say
7
00:00:22,459 --> 00:00:24,427
Good...
Good morning, USA
8
00:00:24,461 --> 00:00:25,962
Aah!
9
00:00:26,082 --> 00:00:33,050
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
10
00:00:33,170 --> 00:00:34,437
I can't believe
we're eating here.
11
00:00:34,471 --> 00:00:36,072
This place is so demeaning.
12
00:00:36,106 --> 00:00:37,473
Well, when you
can afford to pay,
13
00:00:37,508 --> 00:00:38,708
you can pick the restaurant.
14
00:00:38,742 --> 00:00:41,177
But should that day ever
come-- and it won't--
15
00:00:41,212 --> 00:00:43,146
we'll still be coming here
for the same reason.
16
00:00:43,180 --> 00:00:45,148
Great pastrami!
17
00:00:45,182 --> 00:00:46,516
You're a pig.
18
00:00:46,550 --> 00:00:47,784
At least I'm not broke.
19
00:00:47,818 --> 00:00:49,152
At least I'm not a loser.
20
00:00:49,186 --> 00:00:50,253
I'm not a loser!
21
00:00:50,287 --> 00:00:53,022
Knock it off, you two!
22
00:00:53,057 --> 00:00:55,592
Hi, welcome to Boobers
where we got a Double D
23
00:00:55,626 --> 00:00:56,993
from the health department.
24
00:00:57,027 --> 00:00:58,094
Zoe?
25
00:00:58,128 --> 00:00:59,996
I-I haven't seen you
since high school.
26
00:01:00,030 --> 00:01:01,331
Oh, my God!
27
00:01:01,365 --> 00:01:02,565
Hayley!
28
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,801
Sorry, I try not
to make eye contact
29
00:01:04,835 --> 00:01:06,269
with my customers.
30
00:01:06,303 --> 00:01:08,371
They never make
eye contact with me.
31
00:01:08,405 --> 00:01:10,340
They should be ashamed
of themselves!
32
00:01:10,374 --> 00:01:12,809
You are not just some objects.
33
00:01:12,843 --> 00:01:15,345
Wow, it's been forever.
34
00:01:15,379 --> 00:01:16,779
So, where you living now?
35
00:01:16,814 --> 00:01:17,780
At home.
36
00:01:17,815 --> 00:01:19,515
Actually, I did move out
for a bit.
37
00:01:19,550 --> 00:01:21,017
To your boyfriend's van.
38
00:01:21,051 --> 00:01:24,354
You know, me and Kristen
and Danuta still hang out.
39
00:01:24,388 --> 00:01:26,689
We're all going
to the Skylark tonight.
40
00:01:26,724 --> 00:01:27,757
You should come.
41
00:01:27,791 --> 00:01:28,791
Yeah, that sounds fun.
42
00:01:28,826 --> 00:01:29,993
Great.
43
00:01:30,027 --> 00:01:31,594
I'll be back in a minute
to take your order.
44
00:01:31,629 --> 00:01:32,662
Hold on, lady.
45
00:01:32,696 --> 00:01:34,530
I'm actually here
on official business.
46
00:01:34,565 --> 00:01:36,499
F.B.I.
47
00:01:38,035 --> 00:01:40,837
I'm afraid I'm gonna have
to verify those alleged breasts.
48
00:01:40,871 --> 00:01:43,806
I'm not falling for this again.
49
00:01:43,841 --> 00:01:44,941
(beeps)
50
00:01:44,975 --> 00:01:47,443
Well, machine says
your I.D. checks out.
51
00:01:47,478 --> 00:01:50,246
Why do you guys
keep hassling me?
52
00:01:50,281 --> 00:01:52,148
Zoe, don't!
This is fake.
53
00:01:52,182 --> 00:01:53,149
My brother made it.
54
00:01:53,183 --> 00:01:54,717
Boo!
Boo!
55
00:01:54,752 --> 00:01:56,119
Let me ask you.
56
00:01:56,153 --> 00:01:59,022
How do your parents feel
about you working here?
57
00:01:59,056 --> 00:02:00,256
Hey, how's everyone doing?
58
00:02:00,291 --> 00:02:02,892
You enjoying my
little girl's boobs?
59
00:02:02,926 --> 00:02:05,194
60
00:02:05,229 --> 00:02:06,596
Thanks for inviting
me out, guys.
61
00:02:06,630 --> 00:02:08,364
It's so fun hanging out again.
62
00:02:08,399 --> 00:02:10,166
Well, it's a little
early to say that,
63
00:02:12,169 --> 00:02:13,369
MAN:
I.D.'s.
64
00:02:13,404 --> 00:02:14,537
They're carding?
65
00:02:14,571 --> 00:02:16,706
You don't have
a fake I.D.?
66
00:02:16,740 --> 00:02:18,708
You got to go to Kevin Ramage.
67
00:02:18,742 --> 00:02:20,510
He'll make you one
for 200 bucks.
68
00:02:20,544 --> 00:02:22,345
Plus you got to
make out with him.
69
00:02:22,379 --> 00:02:23,613
What?
70
00:02:23,647 --> 00:02:25,715
I-I can't afford $200.
71
00:02:25,749 --> 00:02:27,884
Oh, bummer.
72
00:02:27,918 --> 00:02:30,453
I guess we'll
catch you later then.
73
00:02:30,487 --> 00:02:33,389
You were right, she
was too optimistic.
74
00:02:33,424 --> 00:02:35,024
I know a club
that doesn't card.
75
00:02:35,059 --> 00:02:38,961
The club of Jesus Christ
of Latter-Day Saints.
76
00:02:38,996 --> 00:02:40,897
Hey, how's the tail
in there tonight?
77
00:02:40,931 --> 00:02:42,932
Fine as hell, dawg.
78
00:02:48,172 --> 00:02:49,439
(deep breath)
79
00:02:49,473 --> 00:02:51,808
(exhales)
80
00:02:53,410 --> 00:02:54,777
Hey, buddy.
81
00:02:54,812 --> 00:02:57,113
It's called Fortress
of Solitude,
82
00:02:57,147 --> 00:02:58,748
not Fortress of Come On In.
83
00:02:58,782 --> 00:03:00,049
Oh, right.
84
00:03:00,084 --> 00:03:01,684
Star Trek Wars.
85
00:03:01,719 --> 00:03:02,819
(imitates lasers firing)
86
00:03:02,853 --> 00:03:03,820
I can't even...
87
00:03:03,854 --> 00:03:04,821
First of all...
88
00:03:04,855 --> 00:03:06,122
You're-you're not...
89
00:03:06,156 --> 00:03:08,091
(groans)
What do you want?
90
00:03:08,125 --> 00:03:09,959
I just wanted to say
how impressed I was
91
00:03:09,993 --> 00:03:11,861
with your Federal Boobie
Inspector card.
92
00:03:11,895 --> 00:03:14,230
And I was wondering
if you could maybe do
93
00:03:14,264 --> 00:03:16,099
a fake driver's license for me?
94
00:03:16,133 --> 00:03:17,100
Yeah?
95
00:03:17,134 --> 00:03:18,801
Oh, I-I thought
I was a loser.
96
00:03:18,836 --> 00:03:20,737
You know who
the real losers are, Steve?
97
00:03:20,771 --> 00:03:24,240
The ones who stay angry
after being called losers.
98
00:03:24,274 --> 00:03:26,275
Okay, I'll do it.
99
00:03:27,277 --> 00:03:29,078
(sotto voce):
What a loser.
100
00:03:29,113 --> 00:03:31,080
101
00:03:31,115 --> 00:03:33,349
Oh, you got a fake I.D.?
102
00:03:33,384 --> 00:03:35,318
I didn't think
you could afford one.
103
00:03:35,352 --> 00:03:36,719
(laughs)
That's funny.
104
00:03:36,754 --> 00:03:38,488
And, you know who would
love that joke?
105
00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,256
My butler,
but he wouldn't laugh,
106
00:03:40,290 --> 00:03:42,291
because he's a great butler.
107
00:03:43,761 --> 00:03:46,362
(beeps)
108
00:03:46,397 --> 00:03:48,731
Wait, you're scanning
I.D.'s now?
109
00:03:48,766 --> 00:03:50,099
We're cracking down ever since
110
00:03:50,134 --> 00:03:52,635
that toddler died
of alcohol poisoning.
111
00:03:52,669 --> 00:03:55,204
They teach you a lot of
things in bouncer school,
112
00:03:55,239 --> 00:03:58,608
but they don't teach you
how to live with a mistake.
113
00:03:58,642 --> 00:04:00,343
(beeps)
Nope.
114
00:04:00,377 --> 00:04:02,378
(beeps)
Nope.
115
00:04:02,413 --> 00:04:05,014
(beeps)
Nope.
116
00:04:05,048 --> 00:04:06,783
(beeps)
Yep.
117
00:04:06,817 --> 00:04:08,484
Go on in.
118
00:04:08,519 --> 00:04:10,853
Hayley, wow.
119
00:04:10,888 --> 00:04:12,455
Did Ramage make you that?
120
00:04:12,489 --> 00:04:13,856
No, I got my own guy.
121
00:04:13,891 --> 00:04:16,125
Yo, can your guy make
me a certification
122
00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:17,560
to be a heart surgeon?
123
00:04:17,594 --> 00:04:19,395
'Cause my mama's
got a bad heart,
124
00:04:19,430 --> 00:04:21,931
and I just know I could
do something about it
125
00:04:21,965 --> 00:04:24,767
if I could just get in there.
126
00:04:27,304 --> 00:04:28,671
HAYLEY:
Hey, buddy.
127
00:04:28,705 --> 00:04:29,906
Not now.
128
00:04:31,542 --> 00:04:34,610
You-you'll have
to excuse me.
129
00:04:34,645 --> 00:04:35,945
We've had a lot of trouble
130
00:04:35,979 --> 00:04:38,281
with kids breaking in
and building blanket forts.
131
00:04:38,315 --> 00:04:40,450
Steve, my friends here
would like
132
00:04:40,484 --> 00:04:42,185
to buy some
fake I.D.'s from you.
133
00:04:42,219 --> 00:04:43,686
Buy fake I.D.'s?
134
00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:46,689
Hayley, can I talk to you
in private for a minute?
135
00:04:50,427 --> 00:04:52,829
Hayley, what you're suggesting
could get us in deep trouble.
136
00:04:52,863 --> 00:04:55,097
You're selling fake I.D.'s
to teenagers.
137
00:04:55,132 --> 00:04:57,200
At most, you'd get
a slap on the wrist.
138
00:04:57,234 --> 00:04:58,267
Aah!
139
00:04:58,302 --> 00:04:59,802
But I use my wrists
all the time.
140
00:04:59,837 --> 00:05:01,737
Steve, you won't get
in trouble.
141
00:05:01,772 --> 00:05:04,073
I mean, with your talent
and my distribution network,
142
00:05:04,107 --> 00:05:06,175
do you know how much money
we could make?
143
00:05:06,210 --> 00:05:07,743
I don't know.
144
00:05:07,778 --> 00:05:09,812
Maybe this'll convince you.
145
00:05:09,847 --> 00:05:11,747
All right, he'll
do your I.D.'s.
146
00:05:11,782 --> 00:05:13,683
But first he's got
to do his day job.
147
00:05:13,717 --> 00:05:16,252
He's a licensed
Federal Boobie Inspector.
148
00:05:16,286 --> 00:05:18,287
Ladies.
149
00:05:21,925 --> 00:05:23,659
I'm taking on a lot
of risk here.
150
00:05:23,694 --> 00:05:26,262
You mind asking them
to jump up and down?
151
00:05:26,296 --> 00:05:28,264
("Legal Tender" by The B-52s
playing)
152
00:05:35,305 --> 00:05:37,373
We're in the basement
153
00:05:37,407 --> 00:05:39,308
Learning to print
154
00:05:39,343 --> 00:05:41,010
All of it's hot
155
00:05:42,145 --> 00:05:45,114
10, 20, 30 million
ready to be spent
156
00:05:45,148 --> 00:05:46,883
We're stackin'
'em against the wall
157
00:05:46,917 --> 00:05:48,284
Those gangster presidents
158
00:05:48,318 --> 00:05:50,253
159
00:05:55,058 --> 00:05:58,461
Livin' simple
and trying to get by
160
00:05:58,495 --> 00:06:01,964
But, honey, prices have shot
through the sky
161
00:06:01,999 --> 00:06:05,034
So I fixed up the basement
162
00:06:05,068 --> 00:06:07,837
With what
I was a-workin' with
163
00:06:07,871 --> 00:06:11,140
Stocked it full
of jelly jars
164
00:06:11,174 --> 00:06:14,544
And heavy equipment
165
00:06:14,578 --> 00:06:17,280
(fades):
We're in the basement...
166
00:06:17,314 --> 00:06:18,714
Thank you.
167
00:06:18,749 --> 00:06:20,783
We'll call your fake name
when it's ready.
168
00:06:24,187 --> 00:06:25,488
Next!
169
00:06:25,522 --> 00:06:26,522
Roger?
170
00:06:26,557 --> 00:06:28,491
The name is Kevin Ramage.
171
00:06:28,525 --> 00:06:29,892
Roger?
172
00:06:29,927 --> 00:06:31,761
I'm only doing this
one more time.
173
00:06:31,795 --> 00:06:34,430
The name is Kevin Ramage.
174
00:06:34,464 --> 00:06:37,099
Word on the street is you're
horning in on my business.
175
00:06:37,134 --> 00:06:39,802
Yeah, well, word on the street
is your product sucks.
176
00:06:39,836 --> 00:06:41,804
Yeah, well, word on the street
is I don't have a comeback
177
00:06:41,838 --> 00:06:44,340
for that, but what I do have
are these brawny sidemen.
178
00:06:44,374 --> 00:06:46,042
Show them the rough stuff, boys!
179
00:06:46,076 --> 00:06:48,311
(grunting)
180
00:06:48,345 --> 00:06:49,912
If you don't get out
of my territory,
181
00:06:49,947 --> 00:06:51,314
this is gonna be you.
182
00:06:51,348 --> 00:06:52,648
Get lost, Ramage.
183
00:06:52,683 --> 00:06:55,184
Yeah, there's
a new counterfeiter in town.
184
00:06:55,218 --> 00:06:56,786
And his name is Steve.
185
00:06:56,820 --> 00:06:59,088
No, Hayley, I've given
a lot of thought to this.
186
00:06:59,122 --> 00:07:00,623
From now on,
187
00:07:00,657 --> 00:07:03,392
my name is Guttenberg.
188
00:07:03,427 --> 00:07:05,962
Oh, like the inventor
of the printing press?
189
00:07:05,996 --> 00:07:08,397
Steve Guttenberg invented
the printing press?
190
00:07:08,432 --> 00:07:10,666
Okay, guys, I believe
we've made our point.
191
00:07:10,701 --> 00:07:13,202
And if you two don't
back off my territory,
192
00:07:13,236 --> 00:07:16,973
then this is what's
waiting for you.
193
00:07:17,007 --> 00:07:19,642
That's right, so you better
think long and har...
194
00:07:19,676 --> 00:07:21,677
(groaning)
195
00:07:25,048 --> 00:07:26,082
Whatever.
196
00:07:26,116 --> 00:07:27,683
Okay, next I.D. is ready.
197
00:07:27,718 --> 00:07:29,051
Mike Rotch?
198
00:07:29,086 --> 00:07:30,920
I'm looking for Mike Rotch.
199
00:07:30,954 --> 00:07:32,788
(laughing)
200
00:07:35,325 --> 00:07:38,394
Smith, I was tearing it up at
the Rope and Pony last night,
201
00:07:38,428 --> 00:07:41,030
and I accidentally picked
up a 17-year-old girl
202
00:07:41,064 --> 00:07:43,332
all because of this!
203
00:07:43,367 --> 00:07:45,501
Were it not for the girl's
father bursting in
204
00:07:45,535 --> 00:07:48,437
at the last moment, I'd be
a sex offender right now.
205
00:07:48,472 --> 00:07:52,174
Wow, I've never seen a fake I.D.
as sophisticated as this.
206
00:07:52,209 --> 00:07:53,943
If these got
into the wrong hands,
207
00:07:53,977 --> 00:07:56,278
they could be a huge threat
to national security.
208
00:07:56,313 --> 00:07:58,047
That's what I was trying
to tell her father
209
00:07:58,081 --> 00:08:01,217
before he fell on all those
bullets coming out of my gun.
210
00:08:01,251 --> 00:08:03,986
Anyway, your new priority
is to find the man
211
00:08:04,021 --> 00:08:06,389
who's making these and
shut him down for good.
212
00:08:06,423 --> 00:08:07,623
You can count on me, sir.
213
00:08:07,658 --> 00:08:08,658
Do we have any leads?
214
00:08:08,692 --> 00:08:09,659
Only one.
215
00:08:09,693 --> 00:08:11,460
He goes by the name Guttenberg.
216
00:08:11,495 --> 00:08:13,129
Steve Guttenberg.
217
00:08:13,163 --> 00:08:16,766
But we have no record of a man
by that name ever existing.
218
00:08:20,137 --> 00:08:22,872
Wow, last night was
our best take ever.
219
00:08:22,906 --> 00:08:24,573
Way to go, little bro.
220
00:08:24,608 --> 00:08:26,709
Right back at you, big sis.
221
00:08:26,743 --> 00:08:28,077
STAN:
I knew it!
222
00:08:28,111 --> 00:08:30,279
I knew I could find
the kitchen blindfolded.
223
00:08:30,313 --> 00:08:31,981
Boy, do I know this house.
224
00:08:32,015 --> 00:08:33,349
Uh, hey-hey, Dad.
225
00:08:33,383 --> 00:08:34,617
What's new?
226
00:08:34,651 --> 00:08:36,652
I've just been handed
a very important case.
227
00:08:36,686 --> 00:08:39,021
Some master forger
named Guttenberg
228
00:08:39,055 --> 00:08:40,456
is making fake I.D.'s.
229
00:08:40,490 --> 00:08:41,991
The best I've ever seen.
230
00:08:42,025 --> 00:08:43,359
That's right.
231
00:08:43,393 --> 00:08:44,493
He should be as nervous
232
00:08:44,528 --> 00:08:45,928
as you two look right now.
233
00:08:45,962 --> 00:08:48,164
All I have to do
is bait the trap.
234
00:08:48,198 --> 00:08:49,865
And he may be a master forger,
235
00:08:49,900 --> 00:08:52,668
but I am a master bai... whoa!
236
00:08:52,702 --> 00:08:54,570
Whoa, that was close.
237
00:08:54,604 --> 00:08:57,873
Almost master-baited
myself there.
238
00:08:57,908 --> 00:08:59,175
Did you hear that?
239
00:08:59,209 --> 00:09:00,376
We got to quit!
240
00:09:00,410 --> 00:09:02,478
Calm down.
He doesn't know it's us.
241
00:09:02,512 --> 00:09:04,013
Besides, we're making
too much money
242
00:09:04,047 --> 00:09:05,614
for you to chicken out now.
243
00:09:05,649 --> 00:09:08,117
And don't you like working
with your big sis?
244
00:09:08,151 --> 00:09:09,618
Well... yeah.
245
00:09:09,653 --> 00:09:11,453
And I can't do it without you.
246
00:09:11,488 --> 00:09:13,355
You're the genius
who makes it all happen.
247
00:09:13,390 --> 00:09:14,456
You really mean that?
248
00:09:14,491 --> 00:09:15,591
I do.
249
00:09:15,625 --> 00:09:16,959
And don't worry about Dad.
250
00:09:16,993 --> 00:09:18,594
I've been keeping things
from him my whole life.
251
00:09:18,628 --> 00:09:20,296
A-ha!
(both gasp)
252
00:09:20,330 --> 00:09:22,298
Is playing the county fair.
253
00:09:22,332 --> 00:09:24,099
Although now that
I think about it,
254
00:09:24,134 --> 00:09:25,634
I only know that one song.
255
00:09:25,669 --> 00:09:26,936
And parking.
256
00:09:26,970 --> 00:09:28,737
And fair food
gives me the runs.
257
00:09:28,772 --> 00:09:30,272
You know what, I talked
myself out of it.
258
00:09:30,307 --> 00:09:32,474
I'll leave you
to your whispers.
259
00:09:34,077 --> 00:09:35,945
Stan, are you coming to bed?
260
00:09:35,979 --> 00:09:37,880
Oh, quite the opposite,
Francine.
261
00:09:37,914 --> 00:09:40,349
Not only am I not going
to bed as Stan,
262
00:09:40,383 --> 00:09:42,718
I'm leaving the house
as someone else.
263
00:09:42,752 --> 00:09:44,520
Feel free to ask
a follow-up question.
264
00:09:44,554 --> 00:09:45,654
No, that's okay.
265
00:09:45,689 --> 00:09:47,189
You see, Francine,
if I'm gonna catch a man
266
00:09:47,224 --> 00:09:50,960
who sells fake I.D.'s to teens,
I need to go undercover tonight
267
00:09:50,994 --> 00:09:53,596
in full 21 Jump Street mode.
268
00:09:53,630 --> 00:09:56,632
269
00:09:58,869 --> 00:10:01,136
Excuse me, fellow youth.
270
00:10:01,171 --> 00:10:02,938
Can I ask you
where one might...?
271
00:10:02,973 --> 00:10:04,340
Let me ask you a
question first.
272
00:10:04,374 --> 00:10:06,242
Can I buy you a drink?
273
00:10:06,276 --> 00:10:08,110
Me?
274
00:10:08,144 --> 00:10:09,511
This young thing?
275
00:10:09,546 --> 00:10:10,846
Sure.
276
00:10:10,881 --> 00:10:13,883
277
00:10:26,630 --> 00:10:29,365
(thunder crashes)
278
00:10:31,234 --> 00:10:33,068
279
00:10:56,493 --> 00:10:58,494
280
00:11:02,832 --> 00:11:03,966
You're trembling.
281
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,768
It's just that...
282
00:11:05,802 --> 00:11:08,037
I'm afraid this might be
one big dream,
283
00:11:08,071 --> 00:11:10,406
and I don't want to wake up.
284
00:11:15,578 --> 00:11:17,112
So how did it go?
285
00:11:17,147 --> 00:11:20,249
Did you get that intel
you were looking for?
286
00:11:20,283 --> 00:11:21,717
Damn it!
287
00:11:24,254 --> 00:11:25,688
And so, after four dates
288
00:11:25,722 --> 00:11:28,023
and a trip to the Cape
with his family,
289
00:11:28,058 --> 00:11:30,125
I finally got the information
I was looking for.
290
00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:31,927
His parents made us sleep
in separate rooms,
291
00:11:31,962 --> 00:11:34,163
but, uh, you know.
292
00:11:34,197 --> 00:11:37,066
Anyway, Guttenberg parks
his van at Fifth and Wellington
293
00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:38,500
every Thursday night.
294
00:11:38,535 --> 00:11:41,270
And tonight will be his last.
295
00:11:43,707 --> 00:11:45,040
Hayley, who are you calling?
296
00:11:45,075 --> 00:11:46,508
Ma, I need the room.
297
00:11:46,543 --> 00:11:48,644
Why don't you go down
to the mall kiosk
298
00:11:48,678 --> 00:11:50,279
and get yourself
a nice phone case?
299
00:11:50,313 --> 00:11:52,147
Ooh, you're so good to me.
300
00:11:53,616 --> 00:11:56,318
(phone line ringing)
Come on, Steve, pick up.
301
00:11:56,353 --> 00:11:58,787
(cell phone buzzing)
302
00:12:02,158 --> 00:12:03,125
(printer chirps)
303
00:12:03,159 --> 00:12:05,527
Uhp, out of toner again.
304
00:12:05,562 --> 00:12:08,797
Uh! I told Hayley we should have
gotten a bubble jet printer.
305
00:12:08,832 --> 00:12:11,467
But she's, like,
"No, they cost too much."
306
00:12:11,501 --> 00:12:14,136
And I'm like, "Yeah, but
the price per page is lower."
307
00:12:14,170 --> 00:12:16,138
And she's, like,
"Hey, do what you want."
308
00:12:16,172 --> 00:12:19,008
And I'm, like,
"No, I don't want to upset you.
309
00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:20,209
Not that important."
310
00:12:20,243 --> 00:12:24,013
Yup, that's how
that conversation went down.
311
00:12:26,934 --> 00:12:30,619
You've Gutten away
for the last time, Guttenberg.
312
00:12:30,653 --> 00:12:32,195
Berg your pardon?
313
00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:34,187
Cat Gutte your tongue?
314
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:35,622
You're arrested!
315
00:12:35,656 --> 00:12:37,991
You're just too Gutte
to be true,
316
00:12:38,025 --> 00:12:40,560
I won't take my cuffs
off of you.
317
00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:43,263
Any of those will be fine.
318
00:12:43,297 --> 00:12:45,965
What the hell?
319
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,101
Steve! What are you
doing here?
320
00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:49,702
I was just walking
home for dinner
321
00:12:49,737 --> 00:12:51,304
when somebody jumped me,
322
00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:54,307
threw a bag over my head
and shoved me in Jeff's van!
323
00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:56,576
Oh, yeah, this is Jeff's van.
324
00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:58,478
Wait a minute.
What did your kidnapper say?
325
00:12:58,512 --> 00:13:00,313
He said his name was Guttenberg,
326
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:02,415
and that you're Gutten colder,
327
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:06,252
and it might be a Gutt I.D.-ah
for you to give up.
328
00:13:06,287 --> 00:13:08,988
(sighs) Using my own
child, and worst of all,
329
00:13:09,023 --> 00:13:11,925
my son-in-law's van
to make me look like a fool!
330
00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:13,693
He's toying with me.
331
00:13:13,727 --> 00:13:16,596
Yeah, it's like he's
one step ahead of you.
332
00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:18,390
That hadn't occurred to me,
but you're right!
333
00:13:18,399 --> 00:13:20,300
He's probably
watching me right now!
334
00:13:20,334 --> 00:13:22,168
Oh, almost definitely.
335
00:13:22,203 --> 00:13:23,603
You like to watch, Guttenberg?!
336
00:13:23,637 --> 00:13:24,971
You want a show?!
337
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:26,639
Well, how do you like this?!
338
00:13:26,674 --> 00:13:28,541
Who looks like a fool now?
339
00:13:30,311 --> 00:13:31,778
(both laugh)
340
00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:33,947
Thank God I picked up that
second time you called.
341
00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:36,216
I had plenty of time to
put the bag over my head
342
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:37,884
and tie up my hands.
343
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:39,385
But how did you hide
the equipment?
344
00:13:39,420 --> 00:13:40,954
Simple magician's patter.
345
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:42,488
It was all misdirection.
346
00:13:42,523 --> 00:13:44,524
347
00:13:48,162 --> 00:13:50,797
Wow. You came so close
to getting caught.
348
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:52,065
Were you scared?
349
00:13:52,099 --> 00:13:53,566
No, it was a rush!
350
00:13:53,601 --> 00:13:56,002
And now Dad has no idea
what's going on.
351
00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:57,170
(loud banging)
352
00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:59,339
(shrieks) It's Dad!
He figured it out!
353
00:14:00,875 --> 00:14:02,208
(sighs)
Roger.
354
00:14:02,243 --> 00:14:03,243
Kevin Ramage.
355
00:14:03,277 --> 00:14:04,244
What do you want?
356
00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:05,345
You're making chump change
357
00:14:05,379 --> 00:14:06,980
selling fake I.D.'s
to teenagers.
358
00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:08,915
The big money's in passports,
359
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:11,117
green cards,
counterfeit currency.
360
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:12,919
Come work for me.
We'll make a bundle.
361
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,754
Are you nuts?!
That's too dangerous.
362
00:14:14,788 --> 00:14:16,149
I'm not talking
to you, sweetheart.
363
00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:17,490
I'm talking to the talent.
364
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:18,758
What do you say, Steve?
365
00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:20,426
I say you got a lot of nerve
366
00:14:20,461 --> 00:14:22,428
trying to come between me
and my sister!
367
00:14:23,797 --> 00:14:25,064
Whoa, are you okay?
368
00:14:25,099 --> 00:14:27,066
I'm fine. I just missed
the step backing out.
369
00:14:27,101 --> 00:14:28,835
I didn't realize how.
370
00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:30,937
Gosh, be careful, okay?
371
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:32,171
Thanks, I will.
372
00:14:32,206 --> 00:14:34,274
All right, good.
And stay out!
373
00:14:36,844 --> 00:14:39,245
So, who's Guttenberg?
Are you any closer?
374
00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:40,580
Yes, he's a teenager.
375
00:14:40,614 --> 00:14:42,614
Probably working with a sibling,
but not a brother.
376
00:14:42,616 --> 00:14:44,284
He's from a two-parent home.
377
00:14:44,318 --> 00:14:46,319
Father is driven,
but stunningly dim.
378
00:14:46,353 --> 00:14:48,821
Mother is all over the map,
but hot.
379
00:14:48,856 --> 00:14:51,391
And there's something sexually
ambiguous living in his attic.
380
00:14:51,425 --> 00:14:53,593
Yeah, those are
the cold facts of his life.
381
00:14:53,627 --> 00:14:55,628
Tell me about the man.
382
00:14:55,663 --> 00:14:58,097
Put it on the board.
I'm a visual thinker.
383
00:14:58,132 --> 00:14:59,299
Okay.
384
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:00,433
He's smart...
385
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:02,035
he's tricky...
386
00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:04,570
he's energetic.
387
00:15:04,605 --> 00:15:06,639
He's very energetic.
388
00:15:06,674 --> 00:15:08,775
See? Nothing.
389
00:15:08,809 --> 00:15:09,976
(groans)
390
00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:11,611
Who are you?!
391
00:15:14,515 --> 00:15:16,082
392
00:15:19,653 --> 00:15:22,355
I'm gonna take a break
and check on the girls.
393
00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:24,457
Lucky and Buttermilk
have been fighting.
394
00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:26,659
Those sound like horse names,
but they're people.
395
00:15:26,694 --> 00:15:27,994
(girls laughing)
396
00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:31,464
Oh, hey, what are you guys
doing here?
397
00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:33,299
Out-Outside
of a strip club?
398
00:15:33,334 --> 00:15:35,601
Oh, we just come here
ironically.
399
00:15:35,636 --> 00:15:37,870
Plus I work here.
400
00:15:37,905 --> 00:15:39,839
What are you doing here?
401
00:15:39,873 --> 00:15:42,408
Remember when my little brother
made those fake I.D.'s?
402
00:15:42,443 --> 00:15:44,477
Well, now we're
in business together.
403
00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:46,946
ZOE:
Wait? Ew.
404
00:15:46,981 --> 00:15:49,816
You're business partners with
your pervy little brother?
405
00:15:49,850 --> 00:15:52,318
DANUTA:
Yeah, that's pretty lame.
406
00:15:52,353 --> 00:15:53,987
What? Oh, no.
407
00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:56,990
No, I meant
my brother works for me.
408
00:15:57,024 --> 00:15:59,058
He likes to think
we're partners,
409
00:15:59,093 --> 00:16:01,928
but I'm the genius
that makes it all happen.
410
00:16:01,962 --> 00:16:04,297
I just wanted to give
that loser a break
411
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:05,598
from building blanket forts.
412
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:08,067
(all laughing)
413
00:16:14,475 --> 00:16:17,076
Oh, uh, is Ramage here?
414
00:16:17,111 --> 00:16:20,680
Kevin! One of your little
friends is at the door.
415
00:16:20,714 --> 00:16:22,715
Can I go out with you
and Kevin tonight?
416
00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:25,752
Brandon! Leave
my friends alone!
417
00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:27,820
(sighs) My family sucks.
418
00:16:27,855 --> 00:16:29,389
What do you want, Guttenberg?
419
00:16:29,423 --> 00:16:30,590
I want in.
420
00:16:30,624 --> 00:16:32,392
I don't care
how dangerous it is.
421
00:16:32,426 --> 00:16:33,926
I need a partner
who respects me.
422
00:16:33,961 --> 00:16:35,395
I'm glad you came around.
423
00:16:35,429 --> 00:16:38,331
Let me go get my jacket,
and we'll get started.
424
00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:41,300
So, you're a big boy,
aren't ya?
425
00:16:43,937 --> 00:16:46,339
Don't look so surprised.
You know it's me.
426
00:16:50,970 --> 00:16:52,204
Steve, you ready to go to work?
427
00:16:52,238 --> 00:16:53,605
The Taiwanese are coming in
428
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:55,140
for the Little League
World Series,
429
00:16:55,175 --> 00:16:57,276
and they are looking
to buy some cigarettes.
430
00:16:57,310 --> 00:16:59,478
Oh, but Hayley,
you're the genius
431
00:16:59,512 --> 00:17:00,879
who makes it all happen.
432
00:17:00,914 --> 00:17:03,715
I'm just the loser
who makes blanket forts.
433
00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:06,118
Oh... you heard that.
434
00:17:06,152 --> 00:17:07,519
You're out, Hayley.
435
00:17:07,554 --> 00:17:08,754
What's this for?
436
00:17:08,788 --> 00:17:09,955
The van.
437
00:17:09,989 --> 00:17:11,723
It belongs to me
and my new partner now.
438
00:17:11,758 --> 00:17:14,059
(gasping)
47 seconds.
439
00:17:14,093 --> 00:17:16,028
That is a personal best.
440
00:17:16,062 --> 00:17:17,996
Well, not counting
Adam Levine's Jacuzzi.
441
00:17:18,031 --> 00:17:21,433
But that time there
was incentive!
442
00:17:21,467 --> 00:17:22,534
Kevin Ramage?!
443
00:17:22,569 --> 00:17:24,036
Steve, don't do this.
444
00:17:24,070 --> 00:17:25,671
Working with this creep
is too dangerous.
445
00:17:25,705 --> 00:17:27,439
I'll take my chances.
446
00:17:27,473 --> 00:17:29,541
Come on, Steve, we got
a lot of work to do.
447
00:17:29,576 --> 00:17:31,043
Plus I'm-I'm
pruning up here.
448
00:17:31,077 --> 00:17:33,745
My whole body is starting
to look like Meg Ryan's neck.
449
00:17:33,780 --> 00:17:36,048
Yeah, to hell with her
for getting old.
450
00:17:37,784 --> 00:17:40,686
(girls laughing, whooping)
451
00:17:41,988 --> 00:17:45,157
Hayley, you spent
a lot of money on this limo
452
00:17:45,191 --> 00:17:46,658
and you're
not even saying "Whoo."
453
00:17:46,693 --> 00:17:48,961
I just got a lot on my mind.
454
00:17:48,995 --> 00:17:52,231
Oh, that sounds awful.
455
00:17:52,265 --> 00:17:54,867
(girls whooping)
456
00:17:57,270 --> 00:17:59,104
Hey, driver, pull over!
457
00:17:59,138 --> 00:18:00,772
(tires screech)
458
00:18:00,807 --> 00:18:03,242
Wait for me. I just gotta
check on something.
459
00:18:03,276 --> 00:18:05,277
We can't. We have
to stop at Kristen's house
460
00:18:05,311 --> 00:18:07,412
because she accidentally
wore underwear.
461
00:18:07,447 --> 00:18:09,514
Hey, I'm all for making
a guy work for it,
462
00:18:09,549 --> 00:18:11,416
but not that hard.
463
00:18:11,451 --> 00:18:12,918
(girls whooping)
464
00:18:14,654 --> 00:18:16,188
ROGER: Come on, Steve.
Chop-chop!
465
00:18:16,222 --> 00:18:18,257
We gotta get these
fake passports finished.
466
00:18:18,291 --> 00:18:20,225
These Armenians are
scary people, man.
467
00:18:20,260 --> 00:18:22,094
That Turkish genocide
just pissed them off.
468
00:18:22,128 --> 00:18:24,263
That's all it did!
It just pissed them off!
469
00:18:24,297 --> 00:18:25,397
Damn it! We're late.
470
00:18:25,431 --> 00:18:27,199
We gotta get down to the docks.
471
00:18:28,935 --> 00:18:31,136
Oh, my God!
Steve's in way over his head!
472
00:18:31,170 --> 00:18:32,304
(line ringing)
473
00:18:32,338 --> 00:18:33,305
STAN:
Hello?
474
00:18:33,339 --> 00:18:34,573
Dad, Steve's in trouble!
475
00:18:34,607 --> 00:18:36,341
Oh, no, it's Guttenberg,
isn't it?!
476
00:18:36,376 --> 00:18:37,476
He's got him again!
477
00:18:37,510 --> 00:18:40,112
Sure, why not?
Just get to the docks now!
478
00:18:44,083 --> 00:18:46,551
Dimitri, you old so-and-so!
479
00:18:46,586 --> 00:18:48,353
Nice tracksuit, buddy.
480
00:18:48,388 --> 00:18:51,089
This is Guttenberg.
Best forger in the business.
481
00:18:51,124 --> 00:18:54,493
Hi. So I-I have
your passports.
482
00:18:54,527 --> 00:18:56,495
Now what do you have for us?
483
00:18:56,529 --> 00:18:58,330
These.
484
00:18:58,364 --> 00:18:59,498
(guns clicking)
485
00:18:59,532 --> 00:19:00,799
Uh-oh.
486
00:19:00,833 --> 00:19:02,200
(chuckles)
The double cross.
487
00:19:02,235 --> 00:19:04,269
Classic.
488
00:19:04,304 --> 00:19:05,604
STAN (over bullhorn):
Attention, you in the warehouse!
489
00:19:05,638 --> 00:19:07,172
We have you surrounded!
490
00:19:08,908 --> 00:19:11,410
This is the CIA!
491
00:19:11,444 --> 00:19:13,145
Guttenberg,
we know you're in there!
492
00:19:13,179 --> 00:19:14,713
Come out with your hands up!
493
00:19:14,747 --> 00:19:16,815
You want Guttenberg alive?
494
00:19:16,849 --> 00:19:18,383
You let us go!
495
00:19:18,418 --> 00:19:20,585
Wait. Steve is Guttenberg?
496
00:19:20,620 --> 00:19:21,687
HAYLEY:
No!
497
00:19:21,721 --> 00:19:23,689
Steve's not Guttenberg!
498
00:19:23,723 --> 00:19:25,123
I am.
499
00:19:25,158 --> 00:19:26,191
You're Guttenberg?
500
00:19:26,225 --> 00:19:27,859
Yes, Dad.
501
00:19:27,894 --> 00:19:30,028
And this is all my fault.
502
00:19:30,063 --> 00:19:32,364
I used Steve to make
money, and-and...
503
00:19:32,398 --> 00:19:34,099
(engine revving,
tires squealing)
504
00:19:34,133 --> 00:19:36,768
Kevin Ramage!
505
00:19:40,740 --> 00:19:43,375
Steve, thank God you're okay.
506
00:19:43,409 --> 00:19:45,344
Well, Smith, you
solved the case.
507
00:19:45,378 --> 00:19:47,245
You found Guttenberg.
Good work.
508
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:48,780
Take her away.
509
00:19:48,815 --> 00:19:52,985
But, sir, Guttenberg or not,
I can't arrest my own daughter.
510
00:19:53,019 --> 00:19:55,053
Can you do it?
511
00:19:56,723 --> 00:19:58,590
Smith, your lawyer's
here to see you.
512
00:19:58,624 --> 00:19:59,758
Lawyer?
513
00:19:59,792 --> 00:20:01,226
He says he's your lawyer.
514
00:20:01,260 --> 00:20:03,395
His official lawyer card
checks out.
515
00:20:05,498 --> 00:20:07,199
Hi, Steve.
516
00:20:07,233 --> 00:20:09,968
Hayley, why'd you take
the rap for me?
517
00:20:10,003 --> 00:20:12,237
I... I felt bad.
518
00:20:12,271 --> 00:20:15,340
Your life was in danger,
and it was all because of me.
519
00:20:15,375 --> 00:20:17,976
You had a skill,
and I-I took advantage of it.
520
00:20:18,011 --> 00:20:19,511
But we were partners,
521
00:20:19,545 --> 00:20:21,780
and then you told those girls
I was a loser.
522
00:20:21,814 --> 00:20:23,281
I know. I'm sorry.
523
00:20:23,316 --> 00:20:25,217
They-they put me on the spot,
524
00:20:25,251 --> 00:20:27,419
and I was, I was just trying
to look cool.
525
00:20:27,453 --> 00:20:30,922
I guess I deserve to be in here
for the next ten years.
526
00:20:30,957 --> 00:20:33,425
See you when I'm 29.
527
00:20:33,459 --> 00:20:35,260
Oh, you mean...
528
00:20:35,294 --> 00:20:36,962
yesterday?
529
00:20:38,698 --> 00:20:40,032
Guard!
530
00:20:40,066 --> 00:20:41,099
Thanks, little brother.
531
00:20:41,134 --> 00:20:42,367
Any time, sis.
532
00:20:42,402 --> 00:20:45,070
Now if you'll excuse me,
I've got work to do.
533
00:20:47,507 --> 00:20:49,241
Open up cellblock H!
534
00:20:49,275 --> 00:20:52,778
Surprise inspection, ladies!
Let's whip 'em out!
535
00:20:52,812 --> 00:20:54,946
What a loser.
536
00:20:54,996 --> 00:20:59,546
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