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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,826
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:03,860 --> 00:00:06,612
Good morning, USA!
3
00:00:06,647 --> 00:00:10,483
I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day
4
00:00:10,517 --> 00:00:13,436
The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face
5
00:00:13,470 --> 00:00:17,890
And he's shining a salute
to the American race
6
00:00:19,793 --> 00:00:23,145
Oh, boy, it's swell to say
7
00:00:23,196 --> 00:00:25,147
Good...
Good morning, USA
8
00:00:25,198 --> 00:00:26,699
Aah!
9
00:00:27,984 --> 00:00:31,387
Good morning, USA!
10
00:00:34,324 --> 00:00:37,993
Oh, Stan, I can't believe we're
actually going on vacation.
11
00:00:38,028 --> 00:00:40,363
And the resort has so many activities!
12
00:00:40,397 --> 00:00:42,598
Parasailing, snorkeling,
13
00:00:42,632 --> 00:00:45,601
Bellacore Printing Company
East Medford New Jersey...
14
00:00:45,635 --> 00:00:47,870
We can go whale watching!
15
00:00:47,904 --> 00:00:49,338
You ain't doing (bleep) with us.
16
00:00:49,373 --> 00:00:50,639
Mommy?
17
00:00:50,674 --> 00:00:52,892
Your father's been working
nonstop lately,
18
00:00:52,926 --> 00:00:55,361
and he and I are spending
our vacation reconnecting,
19
00:00:55,395 --> 00:00:57,079
alone.
20
00:00:57,114 --> 00:00:58,764
I guess I'll just hang with Jeff then.
21
00:00:58,799 --> 00:01:00,166
No can do.
22
00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:02,768
I'll be spending my time rolling
naked on top of your sister.
23
00:01:02,803 --> 00:01:05,204
See, dude, our sex life
is totally dead.
24
00:01:05,238 --> 00:01:07,273
I'd rather hump a garbage disposal
25
00:01:07,307 --> 00:01:08,941
than crawl up on there one more time.
26
00:01:08,975 --> 00:01:11,911
We're hoping vacation sex
will get us back on track.
27
00:01:11,945 --> 00:01:15,214
This conversation has become
too frank for my liking.
28
00:01:15,248 --> 00:01:17,816
So I guess I'll have fun
with Roger then.
29
00:01:17,834 --> 00:01:20,703
It's been a year since
my husband Omar passed.
30
00:01:20,737 --> 00:01:23,105
I just need to get away
from the apartment.
31
00:01:23,140 --> 00:01:24,790
All those memories.
32
00:01:26,226 --> 00:01:29,328
Oh, God, you're gonna be
this old bag all vacation?
33
00:01:29,362 --> 00:01:31,363
You show some respect for your elders.
34
00:01:31,398 --> 00:01:32,998
I lived through the
Depression and four seasons
35
00:01:33,033 --> 00:01:35,134
of Caroline in the City!
36
00:01:35,168 --> 00:01:36,302
(cell phone ringing)
37
00:01:36,336 --> 00:01:38,304
Deputy Director Bullock.
38
00:01:38,338 --> 00:01:40,005
Oh, sir, I'm afraid I can't help.
39
00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:41,674
I'm going out of town...
40
00:01:41,708 --> 00:01:43,242
Yeah, I guess I could access
41
00:01:43,276 --> 00:01:44,643
the surveillance cameras
with my phone.
42
00:01:48,248 --> 00:01:50,583
Oh, I promise stuff
all the time; it means nothing.
43
00:01:50,617 --> 00:01:51,984
So help me,
44
00:01:52,018 --> 00:01:54,653
if you work through another
vacation, when we get back,
45
00:01:54,688 --> 00:01:57,123
I swear to God we're going to that
46
00:01:57,157 --> 00:01:59,191
marriage seminar we saw on TV.
47
00:01:59,226 --> 00:02:02,077
No! Not "Oh No He Didn't,
Oh Yes He Did!"
48
00:02:02,112 --> 00:02:04,613
He promised me he'd help me
flip the mattress.
49
00:02:04,648 --> 00:02:05,915
And then what happened?
50
00:02:05,949 --> 00:02:07,783
He went to the ball game instead.
51
00:02:07,818 --> 00:02:08,784
Oh, no, he didn't.
52
00:02:08,819 --> 00:02:11,220
WOMEN:
Oh, yes, he did!
53
00:02:14,057 --> 00:02:16,992
She's so angry
and flat-chested.
54
00:02:17,027 --> 00:02:19,094
Sorry, sir, I'm on vacation.
55
00:02:25,168 --> 00:02:26,702
(sighs):
Ah, see?
56
00:02:26,736 --> 00:02:28,938
Isn't this nice and relaxing?
57
00:02:28,972 --> 00:02:30,239
You know, it really is.
58
00:02:30,273 --> 00:02:31,874
I don't miss the office at all.
59
00:02:31,908 --> 00:02:34,210
In fact, I'm going to
e-mail the guys at the CIA
60
00:02:34,244 --> 00:02:35,911
a photo of us, and under the subject,
61
00:02:35,946 --> 00:02:37,513
I'm writing "Suck it!"
62
00:02:37,547 --> 00:02:39,982
'Cause they're there and I'm
here, and they can suck it.
63
00:02:40,016 --> 00:02:42,234
Pardon, would you mind
taking our picture?
64
00:02:42,269 --> 00:02:44,053
I'd be happy to.
65
00:02:44,087 --> 00:02:46,338
It's a phone, but it also
has a camera on it.
66
00:02:46,373 --> 00:02:47,790
I know. I have
the same one.
67
00:02:47,824 --> 00:02:50,259
No, that's the 5GS.
Top of the line.
68
00:02:50,293 --> 00:02:52,127
Yes. The 5GS.
69
00:02:54,064 --> 00:02:55,898
You're a gardener.
70
00:02:55,932 --> 00:02:57,216
Smile!
71
00:02:57,250 --> 00:02:59,768
(camera clicks)
72
00:02:59,803 --> 00:03:03,355
Hi, hello. I'm Joe, the outdoor
activities director here.
73
00:03:03,390 --> 00:03:05,274
Just sign us up for everything!
74
00:03:05,308 --> 00:03:06,408
Ha, ha!
75
00:03:06,443 --> 00:03:08,077
Your enthusiasm is infectious.
76
00:03:08,111 --> 00:03:10,112
It has inspired me to do this!
77
00:03:11,982 --> 00:03:13,499
Oh, my God, I did it!
78
00:03:13,533 --> 00:03:15,000
I've never done that before!
79
00:03:15,035 --> 00:03:16,919
My confidence is soaring!
80
00:03:16,953 --> 00:03:18,187
I'm gonna try singing.
81
00:03:18,221 --> 00:03:20,289
(horrible grumbling noise)
82
00:03:20,323 --> 00:03:22,274
(screeching)
83
00:03:22,309 --> 00:03:23,776
(roaring)
84
00:03:23,810 --> 00:03:25,945
(cell phone ringing)
85
00:03:25,979 --> 00:03:27,012
It's my boss.
86
00:03:27,047 --> 00:03:28,314
Stan...
87
00:03:28,348 --> 00:03:30,416
No work on vacation.
That's my motto.
88
00:03:30,450 --> 00:03:33,419
My motto is, "Don't cry
because it is over,
89
00:03:33,453 --> 00:03:35,554
smile because
it happened."
90
00:03:35,589 --> 00:03:37,523
Why is this guy
one-upping me?
91
00:03:37,557 --> 00:03:40,025
Why am I in competition
with a gardener?
92
00:03:42,629 --> 00:03:45,798
(kids laughing)
93
00:03:50,070 --> 00:03:53,772
Excuse me, where's
the hotel camp for older kids?
94
00:03:53,807 --> 00:03:55,474
This is the only camp.
95
00:03:55,508 --> 00:03:56,275
What?!
96
00:03:56,309 --> 00:03:58,077
Ginger snap?
97
00:03:58,111 --> 00:04:00,262
Ginger slap!
98
00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:05,968
Dude, run. This
place is the worst.
99
00:04:06,002 --> 00:04:08,404
(British accent):
Oh, I'm well aware.
100
00:04:08,438 --> 00:04:11,540
I have heard it rumored that
on the other side of this isle
101
00:04:11,575 --> 00:04:14,743
lies a beach whose patrons
are au natural.
102
00:04:14,778 --> 00:04:17,079
(New York accent): Yo-yo-yo,
we talkin' full vee?
103
00:04:17,113 --> 00:04:19,949
We would have to cross
the island by foot.
104
00:04:19,983 --> 00:04:22,935
A journey of several days
through treacherous jungle.
105
00:04:22,969 --> 00:04:26,305
(normal voice): Well, usually I hide
from danger like a big scaredy-puss.
106
00:04:26,339 --> 00:04:29,041
But there's something
about your accent.
107
00:04:29,075 --> 00:04:32,311
You know what, sure, let's do it!
108
00:04:34,064 --> 00:04:37,266
(New York accent): Hey, hey! What
are you gonna do with that, huh?!
109
00:04:37,300 --> 00:04:38,284
Nothin'!
110
00:04:38,318 --> 00:04:41,120
Get outta here!
111
00:04:43,123 --> 00:04:45,724
You're a lovely couple.
112
00:04:45,759 --> 00:04:48,360
So, which one of you is the man?
113
00:04:48,395 --> 00:04:49,828
(sighs)
114
00:04:49,863 --> 00:04:53,065
Oh, Omar, you were always the
one who was good at small talk.
115
00:04:53,099 --> 00:04:54,984
What am I going to do without you?
116
00:04:55,018 --> 00:04:58,087
Who's gonna set the recorder
so I don't miss NCIS?
117
00:04:58,121 --> 00:05:00,122
I love that show!
118
00:05:00,156 --> 00:05:02,091
I haven't missed an episode!
119
00:05:02,125 --> 00:05:04,259
But if I did, it wouldn't matter.
120
00:05:04,294 --> 00:05:05,661
BOTH: 'Cause they're
all the same!
121
00:05:05,695 --> 00:05:08,714
(both laugh)
122
00:05:08,748 --> 00:05:09,815
I'm Larry.
123
00:05:09,849 --> 00:05:12,151
Abigail.
Abigail Lemonparty.
124
00:05:12,185 --> 00:05:16,055
This is my first vacation by
myself since my wife departed.
125
00:05:16,089 --> 00:05:17,823
This is my first without Omar.
126
00:05:17,857 --> 00:05:19,925
Would you care for a Necco wafer?
127
00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:22,127
Oh.
128
00:05:22,162 --> 00:05:23,595
Mmm.
129
00:05:23,630 --> 00:05:25,864
Those people at Necco really know how
130
00:05:25,899 --> 00:05:28,300
to make a disgusting candy.
131
00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:35,641
So that was hotel sex.
132
00:05:35,675 --> 00:05:37,109
Still terrible.
133
00:05:37,143 --> 00:05:38,344
Tell me about it.
134
00:05:38,378 --> 00:05:40,312
I wanted it to be over so bad
135
00:05:40,347 --> 00:05:42,881
I just dumped some
room service mayo on your back.
136
00:05:42,916 --> 00:05:44,817
Well, I guess that's it.
137
00:05:44,851 --> 00:05:48,754
We've been married two years
and now our sex life is over.
138
00:05:55,061 --> 00:05:56,795
Francine, if you want to get to ten,
139
00:05:56,830 --> 00:05:58,497
you need to put the ball right here.
140
00:05:58,531 --> 00:05:59,832
You see where my swing is?
141
00:05:59,866 --> 00:06:01,550
Right there, right there.
You're jamming me up.
142
00:06:01,584 --> 00:06:03,686
It's not about getting to ten.
143
00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:05,988
It's about enjoying each other.
144
00:06:06,022 --> 00:06:08,290
Oh, no, you're right,
it's fun getting to eight.
145
00:06:08,324 --> 00:06:10,626
Then once to nine, but never ten.
146
00:06:10,660 --> 00:06:12,928
(cell phone ringing)
147
00:06:12,962 --> 00:06:15,097
Come on, no phone calls.
Serve it!
148
00:06:18,868 --> 00:06:20,235
I got it!
149
00:06:20,270 --> 00:06:21,403
Deputy Director Bullock.
150
00:06:21,438 --> 00:06:23,121
BULLOCK:
Smith, I happened to find
151
00:06:23,139 --> 00:06:24,857
something interesting when I zoomed in
152
00:06:24,891 --> 00:06:26,625
on the "suck it" photo you sent us.
153
00:06:26,659 --> 00:06:27,893
Why would you zoom in?
154
00:06:27,927 --> 00:06:29,528
Oh, no reason.
155
00:06:29,562 --> 00:06:32,064
(mouse clicks)
156
00:06:32,098 --> 00:06:34,867
The man in the background
of this photo
157
00:06:34,901 --> 00:06:36,935
is Goran the Mutilator--
158
00:06:36,970 --> 00:06:39,538
a war criminal who's been
in hiding for years.
159
00:06:39,572 --> 00:06:41,707
But he's the outdoor
activities director.
160
00:06:41,741 --> 00:06:43,442
He's a bloody monster.
161
00:06:43,476 --> 00:06:45,477
(mouse clicking)
162
00:06:48,181 --> 00:06:50,149
(computer beeps)
163
00:06:50,183 --> 00:06:51,617
I need you to kill him.
164
00:06:51,651 --> 00:06:52,851
Sir, I'm on vacation.
165
00:06:52,886 --> 00:06:54,720
And I promised my wife
I wouldn't work.
166
00:06:59,359 --> 00:07:01,060
Smith, are you crazy?
167
00:07:01,094 --> 00:07:04,630
I'm giving you the opportunity
to bring down a war criminal.
168
00:07:04,664 --> 00:07:07,733
Plus, you get 400 CIA bucks.
169
00:07:07,767 --> 00:07:09,301
Four-hundred?!
170
00:07:14,607 --> 00:07:15,674
Well?
171
00:07:15,708 --> 00:07:17,176
You can count on me.
172
00:07:17,210 --> 00:07:19,578
(panting)
173
00:07:19,612 --> 00:07:22,247
Okay, let's do this.
174
00:07:22,282 --> 00:07:23,715
98...
175
00:07:23,750 --> 00:07:25,717
99... 100!
176
00:07:25,752 --> 00:07:27,986
Yay! Woo-hoo! All right!
Yeah! We did it!
177
00:07:28,021 --> 00:07:29,521
That guy.
178
00:07:34,550 --> 00:07:36,684
Today, we're going to
learn the ancient art
179
00:07:36,719 --> 00:07:38,686
of making hip-hop necklaces.
180
00:07:38,721 --> 00:07:40,361
Look how great this is.
181
00:07:40,481 --> 00:07:42,189
No kids, no work.
182
00:07:42,425 --> 00:07:44,859
Just you and me.
183
00:07:48,631 --> 00:07:50,624
Uh, I'm gonna go make
sure the people who live
184
00:07:50,744 --> 00:07:53,081
just outside the
resort are super poor.
185
00:07:54,403 --> 00:07:56,462
Now, a lot of brothers
like to represent
186
00:07:56,580 --> 00:07:58,881
the area code from whence they hail.
187
00:07:58,915 --> 00:08:02,218
Atlanta's 404 is quite popular.
188
00:08:02,252 --> 00:08:04,720
(panting)
189
00:08:09,926 --> 00:08:12,394
It's too far;
I'll never make it.
190
00:08:12,429 --> 00:08:13,863
I have a plan.
191
00:08:13,897 --> 00:08:16,232
We mount a wild steed of our choosing
192
00:08:16,266 --> 00:08:18,467
and it shall whisk us
away across this valley.
193
00:08:18,502 --> 00:08:21,804
Okay, sounds like a really
bad idea, but that accent.
194
00:08:21,838 --> 00:08:24,240
(grunts) Yeah, let's do it!
195
00:08:27,110 --> 00:08:28,577
(neighing)
196
00:08:28,612 --> 00:08:30,079
It's working!
197
00:08:33,116 --> 00:08:35,117
(screaming)
198
00:08:37,153 --> 00:08:39,221
Off we go!
199
00:08:39,256 --> 00:08:41,590
My bones!
200
00:08:44,127 --> 00:08:46,095
(dolphins clicking)
201
00:08:47,797 --> 00:08:53,102
Stay away from that bad, bad
man, you sweet, sweet dolphins.
202
00:08:54,137 --> 00:08:55,037
(silenced gunshot)
203
00:08:55,772 --> 00:08:57,840
Oh, my.
204
00:08:57,874 --> 00:09:00,075
(silenced gunshots)
205
00:09:00,110 --> 00:09:01,677
Oh, no.
206
00:09:01,711 --> 00:09:03,546
(silenced gunshot)
207
00:09:03,580 --> 00:09:04,580
Oh, the baby.
208
00:09:04,614 --> 00:09:06,181
Stan?
209
00:09:06,216 --> 00:09:07,349
(gasps)
210
00:09:07,384 --> 00:09:10,653
While you were out
looking for poor people,
211
00:09:10,687 --> 00:09:12,588
you missed the entire class!
212
00:09:12,622 --> 00:09:15,157
Well, since we're here, let's
just do the dolphin experience.
213
00:09:15,191 --> 00:09:17,192
Sorry, it's closed.
214
00:09:24,768 --> 00:09:26,902
Here's to a sexless marriage.
215
00:09:26,937 --> 00:09:28,704
I guess I'll stop shaving.
216
00:09:28,738 --> 00:09:31,774
Let the forest reclaim the land.
217
00:09:31,808 --> 00:09:33,609
I'm sorry, we didn't mean to overhear,
218
00:09:33,643 --> 00:09:35,244
but we used to be like you.
219
00:09:35,278 --> 00:09:36,812
But then we turned it around.
220
00:09:36,846 --> 00:09:37,947
How?
221
00:09:37,981 --> 00:09:39,415
We swap.
222
00:09:39,449 --> 00:09:40,416
Here's our number.
223
00:09:40,450 --> 00:09:41,584
Think about it.
224
00:09:41,618 --> 00:09:43,452
(chuckles):
Oh, definitely, we will.
225
00:09:45,288 --> 00:09:46,555
Sounds good, right, babe?
226
00:09:46,590 --> 00:09:47,890
What a bunch of freaks!
227
00:09:47,924 --> 00:09:49,058
Freaks!
228
00:09:49,092 --> 00:09:51,260
We don't have to have sex
with other people.
229
00:09:51,294 --> 00:09:53,195
We just have to get more creative.
230
00:09:53,229 --> 00:09:55,631
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
231
00:09:55,665 --> 00:09:56,899
Choking!
Role playing!
232
00:09:56,933 --> 00:09:58,934
Role playing!
233
00:09:58,969 --> 00:10:02,137
Babe, that was...
terrible.
234
00:10:02,172 --> 00:10:04,840
(sighs) Yeah, it was.
235
00:10:04,874 --> 00:10:07,810
I guess now I'll just
use it for peeing.
236
00:10:10,113 --> 00:10:13,549
My eyesight has started failing
me as I'm getting up there.
237
00:10:13,583 --> 00:10:15,417
I need large print books.
238
00:10:15,452 --> 00:10:19,321
Come on, you could easily pass
for a woman in her early 70s.
239
00:10:19,356 --> 00:10:21,123
You, Larry Herman,
240
00:10:21,157 --> 00:10:23,792
are what my grandmother would
call a... (speaks gibberish)
241
00:10:23,827 --> 00:10:25,694
She was from the old country.
242
00:10:25,729 --> 00:10:26,829
Don't miss her.
243
00:10:26,863 --> 00:10:28,864
Do you have any sunblock
in your fanny pack?
244
00:10:28,898 --> 00:10:31,000
It's a colostomy bag.
245
00:10:31,034 --> 00:10:32,501
Hey, chin up.
246
00:10:32,535 --> 00:10:35,437
You're alive; it doesn't matter
where your poop goes.
247
00:10:35,472 --> 00:10:38,374
Getting mine to go anywhere
at all is a big to-do.
248
00:10:38,408 --> 00:10:40,175
Bit of a home body, my poop.
249
00:10:40,210 --> 00:10:43,112
Likes to stay put.
250
00:10:45,148 --> 00:10:48,884
Abigail Lemonparty, would
you like to go with me
251
00:10:48,918 --> 00:10:50,686
to the luau tonight?
252
00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:52,221
Oh, Larry.
253
00:10:52,255 --> 00:10:54,657
As my grandmother would say,
254
00:10:54,691 --> 00:10:57,226
as long as you're not a Puerto Rican.
255
00:10:58,762 --> 00:11:00,062
(sighs)
256
00:11:00,096 --> 00:11:01,397
This is nice.
257
00:11:01,431 --> 00:11:03,766
Just you and me, together.
258
00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,502
(cell phone vibrates)
259
00:11:09,039 --> 00:11:11,306
Francine, can I go get you a drink?
260
00:11:11,341 --> 00:11:12,341
I'm good.
261
00:11:12,375 --> 00:11:14,009
I'll run and get you some sunblock.
262
00:11:14,044 --> 00:11:15,611
I'm fine, Stan.
263
00:11:15,645 --> 00:11:19,381
All I want to do is lay here with you.
264
00:11:19,416 --> 00:11:21,717
I promised my buddy
Chuck I'd help him move.
265
00:11:21,751 --> 00:11:25,554
Hate to leave you, but I'm
the one with the pickup truck.
266
00:11:25,588 --> 00:11:28,590
(cell phone vibrates)
267
00:11:30,927 --> 00:11:33,295
That son of a bitch is working.
268
00:11:33,329 --> 00:11:34,663
(cell phone vibrates)
269
00:11:37,734 --> 00:11:38,867
Come along.
270
00:11:38,902 --> 00:11:40,736
Doing the best I can, Liam.
271
00:11:40,770 --> 00:11:43,372
That horse really did
a number on my hot dog.
272
00:11:45,241 --> 00:11:47,409
Oh, man, we have to turn back.
273
00:11:47,444 --> 00:11:48,944
Hogwash.
274
00:11:48,978 --> 00:11:51,880
What we must do is bind
banana leaves to our arms
275
00:11:51,915 --> 00:11:56,552
and it will give us the
additional lift that we need.
276
00:11:56,586 --> 00:11:58,220
And your last one was terrible.
277
00:11:58,254 --> 00:12:00,823
But your accent, it's so convincing.
278
00:12:00,857 --> 00:12:02,391
You know what, let's do it!
279
00:12:06,296 --> 00:12:08,063
(grunts)
280
00:12:08,098 --> 00:12:09,565
(sighs):
Oh.
281
00:12:09,599 --> 00:12:12,067
Tough day to be my hot dog.
282
00:12:15,672 --> 00:12:19,641
Mario, I met a very nice man today.
283
00:12:19,676 --> 00:12:22,010
He said he could never
get tired of my laugh.
284
00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:24,279
(laughs)
285
00:12:29,686 --> 00:12:30,586
Oh.
286
00:12:30,620 --> 00:12:33,422
Looks like he met someone.
287
00:12:33,456 --> 00:12:34,656
Someone much younger.
288
00:12:34,691 --> 00:12:35,991
(farts)
289
00:12:36,025 --> 00:12:37,926
Excuse me, Mario, won't you?
290
00:12:37,961 --> 00:12:40,863
What happened to our plans, Larry?!
291
00:12:40,897 --> 00:12:43,132
I'm sorry, I don't know who you are.
292
00:12:43,166 --> 00:12:44,199
Poor woman.
293
00:12:44,234 --> 00:12:47,636
Dementia's a terrible thing.
294
00:12:47,670 --> 00:12:49,338
(quietly):
Beat it, you old bag.
295
00:12:49,372 --> 00:12:51,874
You're a bad man, Larry!
296
00:12:51,908 --> 00:12:53,575
Go sit on a ham sandwich!
297
00:12:53,610 --> 00:12:54,610
With mustard!
298
00:12:54,644 --> 00:12:56,779
(sobbing)
299
00:12:56,813 --> 00:12:57,980
(people whispering)
300
00:12:58,014 --> 00:12:59,414
Mustard.
Mustard. Mustard.
301
00:12:59,449 --> 00:13:01,450
(whispering continues)
302
00:13:08,191 --> 00:13:09,858
You!
Ooh!
303
00:13:09,893 --> 00:13:12,227
You're trying to kill
someone on our vacation!
304
00:13:12,262 --> 00:13:13,595
What-what, this?
305
00:13:13,630 --> 00:13:16,498
No, no, I signed us up for
the couples' Magnum P.I. class.
306
00:13:16,533 --> 00:13:17,499
You're Higgins.
307
00:13:17,534 --> 00:13:20,002
I saw Bullock's text!
308
00:13:20,036 --> 00:13:23,071
Francine, look, the guy
I'm after is a monster.
309
00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:25,140
He's exterminated entire villages.
310
00:13:25,175 --> 00:13:27,309
Well...
(sighs)
311
00:13:27,343 --> 00:13:29,678
then I guess he deserves
what we're gonna give him.
312
00:13:29,712 --> 00:13:31,079
Wait, "we"?
313
00:13:31,114 --> 00:13:34,416
Stan, we went on this vacation
to spend time together,
314
00:13:34,450 --> 00:13:36,852
and that starts now.
315
00:13:36,886 --> 00:13:39,254
So, who do we have to kill?
316
00:13:39,289 --> 00:13:41,190
Joe, the activities director.
317
00:13:41,224 --> 00:13:44,827
Aw, but he's got such a sweet smile.
318
00:13:44,861 --> 00:13:47,729
I'm gonna shoot him in his face.
319
00:13:50,429 --> 00:13:51,866
Francine, are you sure about this?
320
00:13:51,986 --> 00:13:53,720
Look, the sooner we kill this guy,
321
00:13:53,754 --> 00:13:55,989
the sooner we can start
enjoying ourselves.
322
00:13:56,023 --> 00:13:59,158
Oh, I signed us up for hot
air ballooning at sunset.
323
00:13:59,427 --> 00:14:00,914
Think we'll nail this guy by then?
324
00:14:01,034 --> 00:14:02,662
I-I'm not, I'm not sure.
325
00:14:02,697 --> 00:14:04,998
Come on, what's so hard about it?
326
00:14:05,032 --> 00:14:06,566
Bam! Bam! Bam!
327
00:14:06,601 --> 00:14:09,669
I just killed that waiter, a
baby and a fat guy on a Rascal.
328
00:14:09,704 --> 00:14:12,172
But, honey, Joe is the
outdoor activities director.
329
00:14:12,206 --> 00:14:13,673
He's always surrounded by people.
330
00:14:13,708 --> 00:14:14,875
So kill 'em all.
331
00:14:14,909 --> 00:14:16,643
I think it's hot
when you talk like that,
332
00:14:16,677 --> 00:14:18,545
but that's not how we do things
at the CIA.
333
00:14:18,579 --> 00:14:21,615
Look, I just need you to get him
alone, then I can shoot him.
334
00:14:21,649 --> 00:14:26,553
Okay, well, you figure it out
while I take out these two.
335
00:14:26,587 --> 00:14:28,788
Bam! Bam!
336
00:14:28,823 --> 00:14:31,458
Should have done that a long time ago.
337
00:14:36,097 --> 00:14:39,599
Think you can prey upon the
emotions of a fake elderly widow
338
00:14:39,634 --> 00:14:41,535
who had the courage to open her heart?
339
00:14:41,569 --> 00:14:43,236
Well, guess again!
340
00:14:49,010 --> 00:14:50,477
Hello there.
341
00:14:50,511 --> 00:14:52,712
I'm George Hamilton, 20 years ago.
342
00:14:52,747 --> 00:14:54,414
Oh, my God, I loved you!
343
00:14:54,448 --> 00:14:56,383
Would you like to play
a set of tennis?
344
00:14:56,417 --> 00:14:58,118
Actually, she's with me.
345
00:14:58,152 --> 00:14:59,619
Oh, I see.
346
00:14:59,654 --> 00:15:03,156
Hey, how about we play a new
game: what's in our fanny packs?
347
00:15:03,191 --> 00:15:05,959
I have a scorecard
from my last round of golf--
348
00:15:05,993 --> 00:15:08,995
I shot a 206-- and a half-full
Subway sandwich card.
349
00:15:09,030 --> 00:15:10,063
What's in yours?
350
00:15:10,097 --> 00:15:11,631
I don't think that's any of your...
351
00:15:11,666 --> 00:15:12,682
Zip!
352
00:15:13,985 --> 00:15:16,253
That's a strange thing
to carry around.
353
00:15:16,287 --> 00:15:18,288
I like to leave mine in the toilet.
354
00:15:19,824 --> 00:15:21,825
Shall we?
355
00:15:27,098 --> 00:15:30,333
Hi. So we've decided to take
you up on your proposition.
356
00:15:30,368 --> 00:15:31,902
Fantastic!
357
00:15:31,936 --> 00:15:34,971
You're doing the right thing for
your marriage and your sex life.
358
00:15:44,549 --> 00:15:46,550
Oh.
Oh.
359
00:15:46,584 --> 00:15:49,319
(both grunting)
360
00:15:49,353 --> 00:15:51,988
Thanks for the private lesson, Joe.
361
00:15:52,023 --> 00:15:54,157
Happy to do it.
362
00:15:54,191 --> 00:15:55,058
STAN (over earpiece):
Francine.
363
00:15:55,092 --> 00:15:56,159
Yeah?
364
00:15:56,193 --> 00:15:58,311
Will you please just
keep him in one place?
365
00:15:58,346 --> 00:15:59,946
But I can beat this guy, Stan.
366
00:15:59,981 --> 00:16:01,181
We're trying to kill him!
367
00:16:01,215 --> 00:16:02,649
Right.
368
00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:05,168
(chirps)
369
00:16:07,204 --> 00:16:09,439
Hey, little guy, gonna
get yourself hurt there.
370
00:16:09,473 --> 00:16:10,590
(chittering)
371
00:16:10,625 --> 00:16:12,125
Aw, are you nursing?
372
00:16:12,159 --> 00:16:13,577
Did you lose your mommy?
373
00:16:13,611 --> 00:16:16,296
Go find your mommy.
374
00:16:16,330 --> 00:16:17,647
(makes gunshot noise)
375
00:16:17,682 --> 00:16:19,332
Oh. Oh, no-no-no.
376
00:16:19,367 --> 00:16:20,767
I'm not gonna kill you.
377
00:16:20,801 --> 00:16:22,402
I've killed enough animals today.
378
00:16:22,453 --> 00:16:23,837
(both grunting)
379
00:16:23,871 --> 00:16:25,205
Stan, what the hell?
380
00:16:25,239 --> 00:16:26,573
Why didn't you shoot him?
381
00:16:26,607 --> 00:16:28,475
A suicidal lemur's got my gun!
382
00:16:28,509 --> 00:16:29,476
(sighs)
383
00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:30,810
Oh, the hell with it.
384
00:16:31,846 --> 00:16:33,480
Ah! Francine! Ow!
385
00:16:33,514 --> 00:16:34,781
What are you doing?!
386
00:16:34,815 --> 00:16:36,750
You're Goran the Mutilator!
387
00:16:36,784 --> 00:16:39,552
You've killed thousands
of innocent people
388
00:16:39,587 --> 00:16:42,856
and you're screwing up my vacation!
389
00:16:42,890 --> 00:16:43,990
Now die!
390
00:16:47,428 --> 00:16:50,063
You think you two can kill me?
391
00:16:50,097 --> 00:16:53,166
Stan, you're in the
CIA; what do we do?
392
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:54,334
Stan?
393
00:16:54,368 --> 00:16:55,168
Run!
394
00:16:56,904 --> 00:16:59,906
(slow-motion groaning)
395
00:17:02,910 --> 00:17:05,779
(silenced gunshots)
396
00:17:25,650 --> 00:17:27,817
(both panting)
397
00:17:27,852 --> 00:17:28,802
We lost him.
398
00:17:28,836 --> 00:17:29,936
(loud pop, both scream)
399
00:17:29,970 --> 00:17:31,971
(both sigh)
400
00:17:34,008 --> 00:17:36,559
(man and woman scream)
401
00:17:37,595 --> 00:17:39,462
(both scream)
402
00:17:40,414 --> 00:17:41,464
(grunts)
403
00:17:42,466 --> 00:17:44,167
Francine!
404
00:17:47,288 --> 00:17:49,789
(grunting)
405
00:17:49,824 --> 00:17:52,459
Oh, my leg!
406
00:17:52,493 --> 00:17:55,061
My, my, we can't let
that get infected.
407
00:17:55,096 --> 00:17:56,963
We'll have to pack it with bees.
408
00:17:56,997 --> 00:17:58,465
(buzzing)
409
00:17:58,499 --> 00:17:59,566
Bees?!
410
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,668
You want to put bees
on my open wound?!
411
00:18:01,702 --> 00:18:04,637
They will clean it,
like in the days of old.
412
00:18:04,672 --> 00:18:07,107
No, they used maggots to clean wounds.
413
00:18:07,141 --> 00:18:10,427
And what are maggots
if not wingless bees?
414
00:18:10,461 --> 00:18:13,063
I don't know
what it is about that accent.
415
00:18:13,097 --> 00:18:14,330
Okay, go ahead!
416
00:18:18,703 --> 00:18:20,603
Oh, it tickles.
417
00:18:20,638 --> 00:18:21,738
It must be working...
418
00:18:21,772 --> 00:18:22,739
(screams)
419
00:18:22,773 --> 00:18:23,840
Th-They're stinging me!
420
00:18:23,874 --> 00:18:24,941
Ow!
421
00:18:24,975 --> 00:18:27,077
Now th-they've crawled
inside my body!
422
00:18:27,111 --> 00:18:29,596
Th-They're stinging me
from the inside!
423
00:18:29,630 --> 00:18:32,599
You sound smart,
like Hugh Grant the movie star,
424
00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:36,102
but you're stupid,
like Hugh Grant the person!
425
00:18:36,137 --> 00:18:37,837
(both straining)
426
00:18:41,225 --> 00:18:42,842
You killed my wife!
427
00:18:43,878 --> 00:18:45,378
(screams)
428
00:18:52,553 --> 00:18:54,521
Francine? How...
429
00:18:57,508 --> 00:18:59,959
Thank you once again, hip-hop.
430
00:18:59,994 --> 00:19:04,497
Goran, I'm going to take
great pleasure in killing you.
431
00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:08,034
What the...?
432
00:19:08,068 --> 00:19:09,869
You're welcome!
433
00:19:11,889 --> 00:19:14,190
That guy.
434
00:19:19,046 --> 00:19:22,031
When someone shoots your
wife square in the chest,
435
00:19:22,066 --> 00:19:23,967
it really gets a man thinking.
436
00:19:24,001 --> 00:19:26,336
From now on, work comes second.
437
00:19:26,370 --> 00:19:29,672
Oh, Stan, that's all I want.
438
00:19:29,707 --> 00:19:32,509
Ugh, there's blood
all over our clothes.
439
00:19:32,543 --> 00:19:34,344
And we don't have
anything to change into.
440
00:19:34,378 --> 00:19:36,246
I don't think that's
gonna be a problem.
441
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:44,154
We made it!
442
00:19:44,188 --> 00:19:45,622
After all I've been through,
443
00:19:45,656 --> 00:19:47,724
the promised land!
444
00:19:52,696 --> 00:19:54,781
Oh, God, that's my mom!
445
00:19:54,832 --> 00:19:56,866
Oh, God, that's my dad!
446
00:19:56,901 --> 00:19:59,552
I didn't almost die to see them naked!
447
00:19:59,587 --> 00:20:01,538
(shuddering)
448
00:20:01,572 --> 00:20:04,607
Well, how about that one over there?
449
00:20:07,344 --> 00:20:09,145
Ah, that's my sister!
450
00:20:09,180 --> 00:20:10,380
Give us a look.
451
00:20:10,414 --> 00:20:15,418
Just let me make...
triple sure... that it's her.
452
00:20:15,452 --> 00:20:18,121
(both moaning)
453
00:20:18,155 --> 00:20:21,291
Oh, my God, the spark is back, babe!
454
00:20:21,325 --> 00:20:22,892
We just needed the jolt of
455
00:20:22,927 --> 00:20:25,562
almost doing something
completely crazy.
456
00:20:25,596 --> 00:20:27,897
And to think we nearly did it.
457
00:20:27,932 --> 00:20:29,632
Right, right.
458
00:20:29,667 --> 00:20:32,302
We didn't go through with it at all.
459
00:20:32,336 --> 00:20:35,288
Jeff, you have mayo on your back.
460
00:20:37,324 --> 00:20:39,626
Thank you, Omar!
461
00:20:39,660 --> 00:20:42,695
Thank you for showing me
I can go on without you!
462
00:20:51,005 --> 00:20:53,556
I know what you did
to our kids, you monster!
463
00:20:53,591 --> 00:20:54,707
(laughs)
464
00:20:54,742 --> 00:20:58,399
Why-why can't I
leave things nice?
465
00:20:58,745 --> 00:21:09,478
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
466
00:21:09,528 --> 00:21:14,078
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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