Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:03,687
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:03,812 --> 00:00:06,132
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
3
00:00:06,298 --> 00:00:09,969
♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
4
00:00:10,293 --> 00:00:13,097
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
5
00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:17,316
♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
6
00:00:19,477 --> 00:00:22,881
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
7
00:00:23,006 --> 00:00:24,683
♪ Good... ♪
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
8
00:00:24,808 --> 00:00:26,125
Aah!
9
00:00:27,644 --> 00:00:30,813
♪ Good morning, USA! ♪
10
00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:35,127
Read 'em and weep, ladies.
11
00:00:35,252 --> 00:00:36,745
Just a second there, Dick.
12
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:39,131
I don't think you've met
13
00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:43,535
DJ, Michelle, Stephanie, Comet
and Uncle Jesse!
14
00:00:43,660 --> 00:00:45,327
Full house!
15
00:00:51,968 --> 00:00:52,811
(grunts)
16
00:00:52,936 --> 00:00:54,012
Race riots!
17
00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:55,580
Take it easy, Smith.
18
00:00:55,705 --> 00:00:57,282
Dick's just blowing off steam.
19
00:00:57,407 --> 00:00:59,601
Man, I'm always losing at poker!
20
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:00,802
I need a beer.
21
00:01:00,927 --> 00:01:03,789
That's his avatar, Black Dick.
22
00:01:03,914 --> 00:01:06,608
I realize that name
is a rich joke area,
23
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:10,529
but curb yourself people;
this isn't junior high.
24
00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:14,099
Although Black Dick
is huge and veiny.
25
00:01:14,224 --> 00:01:16,651
(laughs)
26
00:01:16,776 --> 00:01:18,120
(cell phone ringing)
27
00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:19,187
What up, girl?
28
00:01:19,312 --> 00:01:20,689
Stan, where are you?
29
00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:22,407
It's Steve's birthday!
30
00:01:22,532 --> 00:01:24,259
- Uh...
- Get home before you miss it,
31
00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:26,552
like you have all
his other birthdays.
32
00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:30,932
Uhp, Black Dick, you're spewing foam.
33
00:01:31,057 --> 00:01:32,968
(laughter)
34
00:01:33,134 --> 00:01:35,344
♪ And many more. ♪
35
00:01:38,598 --> 00:01:40,659
Got held up looking
all over town for that
36
00:01:40,784 --> 00:01:43,879
pink novelty-sized rabbit my
boy's been hassling me for.
37
00:01:44,004 --> 00:01:47,099
No, you forgot to get Steve
a present and grabbed
38
00:01:47,224 --> 00:01:51,086
the first thing you saw
out of the CIA evidence room.
39
00:01:51,211 --> 00:01:54,689
Stan, we just finally
got Steve off the heroin
40
00:01:54,814 --> 00:01:56,951
from the last birthd present
you gave him.
41
00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,528
(whispers):
I got so high.
42
00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:09,020
(sighs) Every year
on Steve's birthday,
43
00:02:09,145 --> 00:02:10,881
we watch home movies.
44
00:02:11,047 --> 00:02:12,425
Rolling!
45
00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:14,300
♪ ♪
46
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,741
STAN: Oh, my God,
I'm not in a single one of these.
47
00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:40,125
Oh, wait, I'm probably
the one filming everything.
48
00:02:43,313 --> 00:02:44,322
Who the hell is that?
49
00:02:44,447 --> 00:02:45,666
That's Fernando,
50
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,759
the family cinematographer.
51
00:02:47,884 --> 00:02:51,130
Do you like my new Arizona jeans?
52
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:55,467
I... I haven't been there
for anything in Steve's life.
53
00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:57,452
Yes, Stan, you neglected your son.
54
00:02:57,577 --> 00:02:58,620
Everyone neglects things.
55
00:02:58,745 --> 00:02:59,971
I've neglected these puppies.
56
00:03:00,137 --> 00:03:01,306
(flies buzzing)
57
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,666
They're shy around new people.
58
00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:07,913
Good morning, kiddo.
59
00:03:08,038 --> 00:03:09,940
Sorry again about
missing your birthday.
60
00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:11,817
What do you say
I take you to a ballgame?
61
00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:14,002
Sorry, man, got other plans.
62
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:15,253
What's the problem?
63
00:03:15,378 --> 00:03:16,521
I'm trying to bond with him.
64
00:03:16,646 --> 00:03:17,990
Well, you're too late.
65
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:20,375
Steve's at the age
where he doesn't care about
66
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:22,369
going to a ballgame with his dad.
67
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:24,596
All he's interested in is girls.
68
00:03:24,721 --> 00:03:27,966
He doesn't want ballgames,
he just wants to ball dames.
69
00:03:28,091 --> 00:03:30,719
Huh? Huh?
70
00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:33,755
(laughs):
Ah! Ah!
71
00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,716
Aw.
72
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,616
(grunting)
73
00:03:39,903 --> 00:03:41,096
A little help, dude.
74
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,514
My guns are juicing.
75
00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:44,549
Don't think I can finish this set.
76
00:03:44,674 --> 00:03:46,184
Carlos, I need a spot!
77
00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:48,229
(groans)
78
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:51,163
(Dixie car horn honking)
79
00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,990
Oh, Roger, it's magnificent.
80
00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:00,916
Where did you get it?
81
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:03,401
Oh, I got a great deal.
82
00:04:03,526 --> 00:04:05,103
This limo company went out of bus...
83
00:04:05,228 --> 00:04:07,248
Ah, you know damn well I stole it.
84
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:08,707
Let's go for a ride.
85
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:10,960
No, no, no, I'm gonna
start a business.
86
00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:13,778
It's always been
a dream of mine to drive people
87
00:04:13,903 --> 00:04:16,715
slightly more privileged than
myself to various locations.
88
00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:18,917
And it is my dream
to accompany people
89
00:04:19,042 --> 00:04:21,844
with slightly
more specific dreams than mine.
90
00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:29,395
Happy birthday, friendo.
91
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:33,149
Two tickets
to the Ice Capades on Land?
92
00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:35,533
They twirl around with shoes on!
93
00:04:35,658 --> 00:04:37,269
Oh, that sounds like fun, Steve.
94
00:04:37,394 --> 00:04:38,536
I'm free whatever night that is.
95
00:04:38,661 --> 00:04:39,871
Oh, great.
96
00:04:39,996 --> 00:04:41,806
You can have these,
'cause I don't want to go.
97
00:04:41,931 --> 00:04:43,742
Hey.
98
00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:45,293
Class, this is Phyllis.
99
00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:47,295
She just moved here from Hoboken.
100
00:04:47,420 --> 00:04:49,664
I'd like you all to give her
a warm welcome.
101
00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:51,733
Now, I'm not referring to
the sexual position,
102
00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:55,136
the warm welcome,
of which I am the inventor.
103
00:04:55,261 --> 00:04:56,771
The basic nature of the move is...
104
00:04:56,896 --> 00:04:58,173
Oh, never mind.
105
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:00,442
Y'all ain't long enough.
106
00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:02,334
♪ ♪
107
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:13,455
You want to go out?
108
00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:14,523
W-What?
109
00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:16,491
Yeah. I like your face.
110
00:05:16,616 --> 00:05:18,694
We should go out tomorrow,
get to know each other.
111
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,829
Tomorrow? Sure!
112
00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:21,796
I mean,
113
00:05:21,921 --> 00:05:24,306
just let me check my schedule.
114
00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:29,904
You know what?
I can move some stuff around.
115
00:05:30,029 --> 00:05:31,122
Perfect.
116
00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:32,724
Wow, I-I don't believe it.
117
00:05:32,849 --> 00:05:34,459
This is too good to be real.
118
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:35,744
Of course this is real.
119
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:37,195
And this is really happening.
120
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:38,563
Because this is real.
121
00:05:38,688 --> 00:05:40,789
Really, really real.
122
00:05:47,075 --> 00:05:50,559
Smith, what did I say about
fooling around with the avatars?
123
00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:51,977
I wasn't fooling around, sir.
124
00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:53,144
This is serious.
125
00:05:53,269 --> 00:05:54,613
My son wants nothing to do with me,
126
00:05:54,738 --> 00:05:56,898
and the only way to get close
to him is to be
127
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,109
an incredibly stacked teenage girl.
128
00:05:58,275 --> 00:06:01,286
I totally understand.
129
00:06:01,411 --> 00:06:02,954
Now, if you'll excuse me,
130
00:06:03,079 --> 00:06:04,980
I have some important
business to attend to.
131
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:10,621
(machine beeps)
132
00:06:14,157 --> 00:06:14,959
(crying)
133
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:16,836
Another feeding?
134
00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:19,004
My, you have quite the appetite.
135
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:25,094
(Dixie car horn honking)
136
00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:26,761
♪ ♪
137
00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:28,647
Okay, the bars are emptying out.
138
00:06:28,772 --> 00:06:30,873
Time to get our first client ever.
139
00:06:33,910 --> 00:06:35,003
(laughter)
Yeah!
140
00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:36,705
Ah, yeah!
Yeah, yeah!
141
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:39,691
Looks like you fine gentlemen
are making memories tonight.
142
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:41,526
20 bucks, anywhere you want to go.
143
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:42,961
(Bleep) you!
144
00:06:43,086 --> 00:06:44,779
Aha, the jester.
145
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:46,114
Every group has one.
146
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,616
Come on, get in, you rascals.
147
00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:57,175
(burps)
148
00:06:57,300 --> 00:06:58,753
(laughter)
Oh, my God!
149
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,755
That was such a hot burp!
150
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,197
Suck it up, Klaus.
151
00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:03,265
This is a service industry.
152
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:04,232
Just be professional.
153
00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:06,225
You guys are so crazy.
154
00:07:08,695 --> 00:07:11,089
Oh, man, is that your bottom?
155
00:07:11,214 --> 00:07:13,308
Oh, you put it right next to my face.
156
00:07:13,474 --> 00:07:15,777
That's so funny...
Oh, you farted, too.
157
00:07:15,902 --> 00:07:18,063
You guys are so much fun.
158
00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:22,985
♪ ♪
159
00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:28,757
Okay, guys, here we are.
160
00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:31,410
And here's a memento for you
at no extra charge.
161
00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:36,331
So, will you be paying
your $20 in cash or... Hey!
162
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:37,291
Can't catch me!
(laughter)
163
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,460
Thanks for the ride, sucker!
164
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,803
I can't believe it.
165
00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:44,439
I treated them with nothing
but respect and civility,
166
00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:46,331
and they want to stiff me?
167
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,477
(tires screeching)
168
00:07:49,602 --> 00:07:51,262
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing?
169
00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:53,182
You don't mess with a man's dream.
170
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,484
Whoa!
171
00:07:56,609 --> 00:07:58,270
Dude, you killed him!
172
00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:02,724
One down, four to go.
173
00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:05,593
You're really gonna
kill five people over $20?
174
00:08:05,718 --> 00:08:07,562
Are you really asking that to the guy
175
00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:11,032
who just last week killed
six people over $19?
176
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,410
Oh, yeah.
177
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,913
(crowd cheering)
178
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:17,539
This is a lot of fun, right?
179
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,667
I'm so glad we got to hang today.
180
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:20,792
Me, too.
181
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:21,760
(bat cracks)
182
00:08:21,885 --> 00:08:22,951
(gasps)
183
00:08:24,893 --> 00:08:26,197
Here you go, champ.
184
00:08:26,322 --> 00:08:27,165
Souvenir.
185
00:08:27,290 --> 00:08:28,600
Aw, thanks!
186
00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:30,235
Oh, uh, hey, you hungry?
187
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,504
(grunting)
188
00:08:32,629 --> 00:08:34,039
(sighs)
189
00:08:34,164 --> 00:08:36,107
Oh, there was a paper
doily under that,
190
00:08:36,232 --> 00:08:39,060
but I'm sure you'll
figure that out later.
191
00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:41,856
I had such an awesome time, Steve.
192
00:08:42,138 --> 00:08:43,649
I can't believe
how close we're getting.
193
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:46,485
I know one way we cod get closer.
194
00:08:51,915 --> 00:08:52,991
Good night, kiddo.
195
00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:54,359
It's been a blast.
196
00:08:54,484 --> 00:08:55,994
Yeah, it was great.
197
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,786
Good night.
198
00:09:05,945 --> 00:09:07,806
(tires screech)
199
00:09:07,931 --> 00:09:09,508
(explosion)
200
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:18,483
(mechanical whirring)
201
00:09:18,608 --> 00:09:20,151
(whistling)
202
00:09:20,276 --> 00:09:21,136
(cell phone ringing)
203
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:22,237
Hello?
204
00:09:22,362 --> 00:09:23,204
FRANCINE:
Finally you answer!
205
00:09:23,329 --> 00:09:24,873
I've been calling and calling.
206
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:27,175
I told you,
Steve had a big date tonight
207
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:28,843
and you should've been here
to see him off!
208
00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:30,852
Oh, we were there.
209
00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:33,574
(cell phone ringing)
210
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:34,799
Hello?
211
00:09:34,924 --> 00:09:36,033
Bitch, did you just hang up on...
212
00:09:36,158 --> 00:09:36,911
(phone beeps)
213
00:09:39,629 --> 00:09:41,296
(school bell rings)
214
00:09:43,466 --> 00:09:44,592
You coming, Steve?
215
00:09:44,717 --> 00:09:47,328
Barry swallowed
a whole roll of quarters.
216
00:09:47,453 --> 00:09:50,265
We're gonna wait for them to
pass and then hit up the arcade.
217
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:52,176
I don't trust the banks!
218
00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:53,518
You guys go without me.
219
00:09:53,643 --> 00:09:55,387
I got some girl stuff
I got to figure out.
220
00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:57,305
Oh, women.
221
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,841
Let me tell you what I know
about women, Steve.
222
00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:04,563
If you buy a woman's shoe, in
your size, it will not fit you.
223
00:10:07,373 --> 00:10:11,436
So, Steve, uh, how are
things going with Phyllis?
224
00:10:11,561 --> 00:10:13,204
You know, she's beautiful,
225
00:10:13,329 --> 00:10:15,673
but I think she just
wants to be my buddy.
226
00:10:15,798 --> 00:10:17,842
Maybe she's not the one for me.
227
00:10:17,967 --> 00:10:20,945
Well, maybe the one for you has been
228
00:10:21,070 --> 00:10:23,782
right in front of your
face this entire time.
229
00:10:23,907 --> 00:10:25,835
Yeah? Who?
230
00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:28,087
(speaking orc)
231
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:34,392
There's a lot about me you don't ow.
232
00:10:34,517 --> 00:10:37,972
♪ ♪
233
00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:44,018
I can't believe Tad's dead.
234
00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:46,321
I can't believe I already
banged his girlfriend.
235
00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:48,356
I can't believe I watched.
236
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,678
Oh, you did a little more than watch.
237
00:10:50,803 --> 00:10:52,635
- Yeah, man.
- Yeah.
238
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,796
(Dixie car horn honking)
239
00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:55,739
(tires screeching)
240
00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:03,671
Oh, no!
241
00:11:03,796 --> 00:11:05,039
Oh, my God, is that
242
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:06,574
on the inside or the outside?
243
00:11:06,699 --> 00:11:08,300
Oh, it's on the outside.
244
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,524
(tires squealing)
245
00:11:19,095 --> 00:11:21,480
(whistling)
246
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,310
What's gotten into you, Steve?
247
00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:26,694
Oh, Mother, it's the love bug,
248
00:11:26,819 --> 00:11:28,481
and I want to be sick forever.
249
00:11:28,647 --> 00:11:30,298
This must be some girl.
250
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:32,734
Oh, she is. I'm gonna ask her
251
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:33,694
to the homecoming dance.
252
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,988
Homecoming! Oh, Steve!
253
00:11:36,312 --> 00:11:38,923
Does this little minx have a name?
254
00:11:39,048 --> 00:11:40,692
It's Chelsea.
255
00:11:40,817 --> 00:11:42,527
Chelsea?! What happened
to that other girl
256
00:11:42,652 --> 00:11:43,695
you were seeing, Phyllis?
257
00:11:43,820 --> 00:11:45,396
She was really enjoying
her time with you.
258
00:11:45,521 --> 00:11:46,664
Sure didn't seem like it.
259
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:47,932
She wouldn't even kiss me.
260
00:11:48,057 --> 00:11:50,201
Nice girls don't kiss
on the first date, Steve.
261
00:11:50,326 --> 00:11:53,204
Your mom wouldn't kiss me
until our third date.
262
00:11:53,329 --> 00:11:56,467
It made the sex on the first
two dates very impersonal.
263
00:12:00,503 --> 00:12:02,280
Whoa, Kanye!
264
00:12:02,405 --> 00:12:04,549
What's with the big-time entrance?
265
00:12:04,674 --> 00:12:06,451
I'm about to ask Chelsea
to the dance.
266
00:12:06,576 --> 00:12:08,786
Thought I should arrive in style.
267
00:12:08,911 --> 00:12:11,113
If you boys'll excuse me.
268
00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:14,276
Hey, Steve.
Want to hang out?
269
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,570
I got your favorite, meatball subs.
270
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,115
Look, Phyllis,
I don't think it's gonna work out.
271
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:20,866
Don't say that!
Why are you...
272
00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:22,116
... saying that?
273
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:23,585
I'm sorry, I'm just...
274
00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:26,020
I'm looking for something
more than friendship.
275
00:12:26,145 --> 00:12:28,456
Uh, if you go to the dance with me,
276
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:29,958
I'll have sex with you.
277
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,583
Okay!
278
00:12:46,397 --> 00:12:47,798
This is sick, man!
279
00:12:47,923 --> 00:12:49,850
Are you really going to
go through with this?
280
00:12:49,975 --> 00:12:52,285
I've already missed so
much of Steve's life.
281
00:12:52,410 --> 00:12:54,554
This way,
I get to keep hanging out with him.
282
00:12:54,679 --> 00:12:56,673
Plus, I get to be there for his
283
00:12:56,798 --> 00:12:58,277
biggest milestone ever:
losing his virginity.
284
00:12:58,533 --> 00:13:00,243
To you, you idiot!
285
00:13:00,368 --> 00:13:02,158
Have you even thought this through?
286
00:13:02,324 --> 00:13:03,847
Look, fathers take their sons
to whorehouses
287
00:13:03,972 --> 00:13:05,866
to lose their virginity all the time.
288
00:13:05,991 --> 00:13:07,621
This is almost just like that.
289
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:10,704
Except I will be locked
in eye contact with my son
290
00:13:10,829 --> 00:13:12,997
while he plows my cyber soil.
291
00:13:15,934 --> 00:13:18,011
STEVE: Hey, Mom,
can you teach me how to shave?
292
00:13:18,136 --> 00:13:21,431
Aah! I can't believe
your father's not here.
293
00:13:21,556 --> 00:13:23,083
I'm going down to the CIA
294
00:13:23,208 --> 00:13:25,609
to give him a piece of my mind.
295
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:30,924
They got run over, man!
296
00:13:31,049 --> 00:13:32,142
They're dead!
297
00:13:32,267 --> 00:13:33,143
We're next, I know it.
298
00:13:33,268 --> 00:13:35,846
Bro, relax!
Go splash some water
299
00:13:35,971 --> 00:13:37,948
on your face and pull
yourself together, man.
300
00:13:38,073 --> 00:13:39,383
We're gonna be fine.
301
00:13:39,508 --> 00:13:41,575
Remember, we're Lanes AdAddiction.
302
00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:52,195
(engine idling nearby)
303
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,154
(brakes screeching)
304
00:14:03,648 --> 00:14:05,549
Oh, thank God.
305
00:14:06,851 --> 00:14:08,786
(Dixie car horn playing,
engine revving)
306
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:19,597
(techno music playing)
307
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:25,407
(rap music plays)
308
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:28,439
Oh, this is my ish!
309
00:14:57,218 --> 00:14:59,954
♪ ♪
310
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,219
Come on, let's go get some privacy.
311
00:15:06,344 --> 00:15:07,821
Uh, right now?
312
00:15:07,946 --> 00:15:09,076
What's the hurry?
313
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:11,775
I'm sorry, I'm just excited.
314
00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:13,360
I mean, this is gonna be
315
00:15:13,485 --> 00:15:15,249
the biggest moment of my life.
316
00:15:17,606 --> 00:15:22,047
(sighs) And I'm gonna finally
be there for it.
317
00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:23,611
(tires screeching)
318
00:15:25,964 --> 00:15:27,174
Stan, this is the last time
319
00:15:27,299 --> 00:15:29,376
you put work before Steve!
320
00:15:29,501 --> 00:15:31,891
He's actually with Steve right now.
321
00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:34,514
What? So Stan's at the dance?
322
00:15:34,639 --> 00:15:37,517
No, he's here, but he's
remotely controlling
323
00:15:37,642 --> 00:15:39,386
a teen girl at the dance
324
00:15:39,511 --> 00:15:41,821
who's about to get
sex-pummeled by your son.
325
00:15:41,946 --> 00:15:42,902
What?!
326
00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:44,820
It's a lot like Avatar.
327
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:45,892
Like what?
328
00:15:46,017 --> 00:15:49,462
Avatar.
It's a movie?
329
00:15:49,587 --> 00:15:54,467
Okay, okay, so there's
this guy in a wheelchair,
330
00:15:54,592 --> 00:15:56,136
and he goes to this alien planet
331
00:15:56,261 --> 00:15:57,721
to join a program...
332
00:15:57,846 --> 00:16:02,042
So you pick a dragon and get
to keep it forever?
333
00:16:02,167 --> 00:16:04,277
No, it picks you.
334
00:16:04,402 --> 00:16:07,280
Wait! Stan's about
to use an avatar's body
335
00:16:07,405 --> 00:16:09,466
to take Steve's virginity?
336
00:16:09,591 --> 00:16:12,052
Stan, get out of there!
337
00:16:12,177 --> 00:16:14,004
He can't hear you in there.
338
00:16:14,129 --> 00:16:16,540
That's impenetrable glass.
You'll never get in.
339
00:16:16,665 --> 00:16:19,209
Fine, I'll just go to the dance
and kick the crap
340
00:16:19,334 --> 00:16:20,727
out of that girl he's controlling!
341
00:16:20,852 --> 00:16:21,962
Careful, Francine!
342
00:16:22,087 --> 00:16:24,588
These avatars have
superhuman strength.
343
00:16:33,848 --> 00:16:36,293
(hushed): Let's make a baby.
344
00:16:36,418 --> 00:16:38,419
Yeah, sexy talk.
345
00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:42,315
Let me just go to the washroom,
346
00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:43,650
cut a couple anxiety farts
347
00:16:43,775 --> 00:16:46,253
and then come back
here and go to town
348
00:16:46,378 --> 00:16:48,338
on your continental divide.
349
00:16:48,463 --> 00:16:49,496
(snaps fingers)
350
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:58,164
Okay, okay, stop freaking out.
351
00:16:58,289 --> 00:16:59,683
You can do this.
352
00:16:59,808 --> 00:17:01,551
Pictured it a million times
in your head.
353
00:17:01,676 --> 00:17:03,136
Oh! Oh, God!
354
00:17:03,261 --> 00:17:04,871
I just pictured it again!
355
00:17:04,996 --> 00:17:08,399
Oh, oh... (sighs)
356
00:17:21,333 --> 00:17:23,497
Get away from him, you bitch!
357
00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:33,049
I can't believe you'd do this, Stan!
358
00:17:33,174 --> 00:17:34,274
This stops now!
359
00:17:45,336 --> 00:17:47,318
Get out of here, Francine.
360
00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:50,524
This is the only way I can
remain close to Steve.
361
00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:55,362
(grunts)
362
00:17:56,180 --> 00:17:57,164
(metallic clang)
363
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,874
We were finally spending
quality time together.
364
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,947
And then he was gonna dump me
for that nerd,
365
00:18:04,072 --> 00:18:06,490
and I just won't lose him again!
366
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:12,839
Must... get plowed...
367
00:18:12,964 --> 00:18:14,595
by son.
368
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:17,961
No, Stan, this isn't the way!
369
00:18:18,086 --> 00:18:20,563
You might've missed
his first 14 years,
370
00:18:20,688 --> 00:18:23,771
but you can still be there
for his next 14.
371
00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:26,357
He's gonna die at 28?
372
00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:28,238
Maybe.
Maybe sooner.
373
00:18:28,363 --> 00:18:32,025
Look, I know you want
to be closer to Steve,
374
00:18:32,150 --> 00:18:35,018
but all you can do is be there
for him.
375
00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:43,290
Wha... what happened?
376
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:47,407
Steve, you're a terrific kid,
377
00:18:47,532 --> 00:18:50,881
but I'm not right for you.
378
00:18:51,047 --> 00:18:54,948
Besides, there's a homely,
kinky-haired beauty out there
379
00:18:55,073 --> 00:18:57,930
who'd just love to dance
with you right now.
380
00:18:58,096 --> 00:18:59,786
Snot wants to dance with me?
381
00:18:59,911 --> 00:19:03,523
Oh, wait, Chelsea, got it,
got it, got it.
382
00:19:03,648 --> 00:19:04,854
I'm gonna go get her back!
383
00:19:05,020 --> 00:19:07,093
Hey, Steve.
Yeah?
384
00:19:07,218 --> 00:19:08,795
Your dad, he loves you.
385
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:10,997
I'm sorry, are you...?
386
00:19:11,122 --> 00:19:12,799
Have you been spending
time with my dad?
387
00:19:12,924 --> 00:19:13,833
No!
388
00:19:13,958 --> 00:19:15,568
Is that where he's been?
389
00:19:15,693 --> 00:19:17,364
Is that why he's gone all the time?
390
00:19:17,595 --> 00:19:18,838
What?
391
00:19:18,963 --> 00:19:21,574
Are you... are you banging my dad?!
392
00:19:21,699 --> 00:19:24,110
Hey! Whoa!
Come on!
393
00:19:24,235 --> 00:19:25,912
(sighs) Okay, good.
394
00:19:26,037 --> 00:19:27,881
'Cause you could do better.
395
00:19:28,006 --> 00:19:29,015
A lot better.
396
00:19:29,140 --> 00:19:30,541
See ya!
397
00:19:31,793 --> 00:19:33,627
(Bleep) you, Steve.
398
00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:44,421
(sighs)
399
00:19:50,065 --> 00:19:53,296
(car engine revving, tires
squealing, Dixie horn playing)
400
00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:56,192
(screaming)
401
00:19:56,317 --> 00:19:57,364
(loud thud)
402
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,102
(explosion)
403
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:05,017
Roger, you got your revenge.
404
00:20:05,142 --> 00:20:06,827
Can we go home now?
405
00:20:08,112 --> 00:20:09,038
(screams)
406
00:20:09,163 --> 00:20:10,086
Roger!
407
00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:12,191
I'm sorry, I got the blood lust!
408
00:20:12,316 --> 00:20:13,589
Eventually I'll get bored with it.
409
00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:15,528
Remember when I was
super into Jiffy Pop?
410
00:20:15,653 --> 00:20:18,214
Had it all the time
for a snack? Overdid it.
411
00:20:18,339 --> 00:20:20,049
Then I started having
a little Greek yogurt
412
00:20:20,174 --> 00:20:22,502
and berries at night.
That's all I need.
413
00:20:22,627 --> 00:20:24,420
Hey, so what's happening
with that girl?
414
00:20:24,545 --> 00:20:26,141
You still e-mailing with...?
415
00:20:29,938 --> 00:20:32,128
You did the right thing, Stan.
416
00:20:32,253 --> 00:20:35,582
I know, I'm just gonna miss
being close with him.
417
00:20:35,707 --> 00:20:37,450
Hey, honey, how'd the dance go?
418
00:20:37,575 --> 00:20:39,586
Ah, turns out Chelsea didn't like
419
00:20:39,711 --> 00:20:41,488
that I went to the
dance with Phyllis.
420
00:20:41,613 --> 00:20:42,989
She's got way more pride
421
00:20:43,114 --> 00:20:44,620
than her physical appearance
would suggest.
422
00:20:44,786 --> 00:20:45,575
(sobbing)
423
00:20:45,700 --> 00:20:47,877
Th-There.
There, there.
424
00:20:48,002 --> 00:20:51,297
Anyway, I'm gonna go hit the sack.
425
00:20:51,422 --> 00:20:53,733
Then probably go to bed.
426
00:20:53,858 --> 00:20:54,691
Good night.
427
00:20:56,761 --> 00:20:59,589
Thanks for listening, Dad.
428
00:20:59,714 --> 00:21:01,357
Did you see that?
429
00:21:01,482 --> 00:21:02,959
I was there for him!
430
00:21:03,084 --> 00:21:04,861
I was there to help him through
431
00:21:04,986 --> 00:21:06,729
this terrible moment in his life.
432
00:21:06,854 --> 00:21:09,032
But you caused that terrible moment!
433
00:21:09,157 --> 00:21:12,626
Yup. Everything worked out
for everybody in the end.
434
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:22,158
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
435
00:21:33,168 --> 00:21:35,644
Is this your smallest condom?
436
00:21:35,769 --> 00:21:36,928
Nothing tinier?
437
00:21:37,053 --> 00:21:39,464
Would they shrink
if I put them in the dryer?
438
00:21:39,589 --> 00:21:41,066
I don't know, man.
439
00:21:41,191 --> 00:21:43,179
Ah, this is tough.
440
00:21:43,393 --> 00:21:45,806
All right, I'll try 'em.
441
00:21:45,856 --> 00:21:50,406
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
30204
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
