All language subtitles for The.Adventures.of.Ozzie.and.Harriet.S12E23.Rick,.the.Law.Clerk.1080p.WEB-DL.AMZN.H.264.DDP.2.0_track3_[eng]

[theme music]

- "The Adventures of Ozzie
and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

Here's Rick.

Here they are, America's
favorite family, the Nelsons.

Tonight's "Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

is brought to you
by your gas company,

with pipeline companies and
gas appliance and equipment

manufacturers, who help
you and your family

live modern or less with gas.

- That's what we
do at our house.

[music playing]

- Are you looking
for something, Dave?

DAVE: What makes you think so?

- It's just a wild guess.

- Yeah, I'm looking
for the correspondence

from the Harrison Company.

- Oh, just a second.

Why don't you try
looking for it now?

You want to know why it
hasn't been filed sooner?

I haven't had time.

- We are running a little behind
schedule around here, aren't

we?
- I'm afraid so.

- Did you get a chance
to do that mimeograph?

- Not yet.

- How about the copies of
the Andrews deposition?

- Would you stop asking me so
many embarrassing questions?

- Sorry.

One word about those
pencils, and I'll quit.

- I'm sorry.

[pencil sharpener]

- Hi, Dave.

- Oh, good morning,
Judge Roberts.

- Don't stop.

I like to see a young
lawyer working his way up.

- Well, somebody has to do
it, and good secretaries

are hard to find.
- That's for sure.

- Is Mr. Kelley in?

- Well, he was here
earlier this morning,

but he'll be in court the
rest of the afternoon.

- Ah, I thought we might
have lunch together and talk

over a few things.

How about you?
- Oh, thanks.

I'd love to, but I've got a
lot of work to do here today.

- Oh, come on now.

How long is it going to take
you to sharpen a few pencils?

I wish that was all
there was to it.

But I have to empty the
wastebaskets after that.

- Don't you fellas have
a law clerk around here?

- Yeah.
I wish we did.

Well, you used to.

I seem to remember a young
man running around here

with a confused
look on his face.

- Yes, sir.

That was me.

Yes, I guess it was.

Well, it's about time you
were getting another one.

Yeah, I think I'll
check into that.

It's a good idea.
Good morning, Judge Roberts.

- Good morning.

- I'm sorry to interrupt,
but these letters

should go out in the mail
pickups in about five minutes.

- Oh, yeah.

Did you finish that
stuff I dictated to you?

- No, I haven't had a
chance to get at that yet.

- Maybe I better mail these,
and you could finish the others.

- OK.
- Yeah, let me have them.

I'll mail them on my way out.

- Oh, thank you, Judge.

- Don't you have
any stamps here?

- I guess that would
help, wouldn't it?

- Coming right up.

- Here.

Give me some of those.

How much does this job pay?

- Well, hi, Dave.
Come on in.

It's good to see you.
- Thanks.

Is Rick here?
- Yeah, he's out in the kitchen.

- Oh, good.
Kris said he was coming over.

I wanted to talk to him.

- Well, now, that's a
little disappointing.

I thought you'd come over
to see the old folks.

- You better not let
Mom hear you say that.

- She's out in the kitchen.

She can't hear a thing.

HARRIET: I can, too.

Hi, Dave.
DAVE: Hi, Mom.

Hi, Rick.
- Hi, Dave.

- What do you got there?

I thought June and I
borrowed everything

that wasn't nailed down.

- A couple of cake pans.

I guess you missed them.

- I hope you didn't come over
to borrow the same thing.

- No, I just dropped
by to talk to Rick.

- Well, what can I do for you?

- Well, it might be
what I can do for you.

How would you like a job?

- Doing what?

- Well, we've been thinking
about hiring a law clerk down

at the office, and I thought
you might be interested.

- Are you kidding?
- No.

- Sounds great.
- Well, yeah.

Of course, I could
only work part time.

- Oh, yeah, I know that.

And you think you could work it
in with your studies and all?

- Well, yeah.

I've got a lot of
spare time, at least

until spring practice starts.

- I think it sounds like
a great opportunity, Rick.

- Yeah, I know it does.

- Of course, you
realize it isn't exactly

the most glamorous
job in the world,

especially in the beginning.

- Oh, I know that.

And you won't be handling
any big cases right away.

But it'll be a good opportunity
to get some experience.

Well, I hate to
brag, but I honestly

think I can run errands and lick
stamps as well as the next guy.

- That's the kind of
talk I like to hear.

You're hired.
When would you like to start?

- Well, I don't have any
classes tomorrow morning.

Is that too soon?

- No, that's great.

- See how easy it is
when the right people?

- Well, that's the way it goes.

Congratulations, son.
- Oh, thanks, Pop.

- Yeah, good luck, dear.

- Thanks, Mom.

I really think it's
a great opportunity.

Get a chance to see
how cases are handled

and get some valuable,
practical experience.

- And you'll be working
with your own brother.

- Well, you've got to take
the bitter with the sweet.

- Incidentally, how are you
doing in school this term?

- Oh, not too bad.

I'm having a little struggle
with conflict of laws.

- Well, it's kind of
a dull subject anyway.

- I'll bet you be a lot of
help to Dave in the office.

What was that case you
were explaining to Kris

the other night?
- Oh, that.

Well, you probably
remember it, Dave--

Walker versus McPherson.

It's a New Jersey case.

- No, not offhand.

Well it was on a theory
of proximate causes.

This Stanley Steamer
sprang a leak

and frightened a farmer's horse,
and he kicked over a fence,

and a prize bull got
loose and broke his leg.

Well, I'll tell you what,
if we get a case like that,

we'll let you handle it.

- I better get on home.

I want to tell
Kris the good news.

- Well, it was nice
seeing you guys.

- Oh, same here.
- Yeah, thanks, Mom.

- Tell the girls I said hello.
- OK.

- Wait a second.

What about the pans?

Well, you might
as well keep them.

Now that I've got a
job, I can buy some.

Now, don't be too hasty.

We haven't discussed
your salary yet.

- Well, talk to my agent.

- So long, fellas.

- Bye.

Isn't it wonderful?
- Sure is.

I can just see their
names on the door now--

Nelson and Nelson.

- Dave's just about
getting started,

and Rick is only going
to be a law clerk,

and he hasn't even started yet.

- Well, once they
start working together,

it won't take them long.

- Yes, mother.

- Well, it won't.

Dave will take good care of him.

Rick will learn a lot more about
working on cases with David

to help him than he would
if it were some stranger.

Well, Rick won't be
working on the law cases.

He'll be opening the
mail and running errands.

- Oh, come on now.

David won't have him
doing things like that.

Of course he will.

That's what he's there for.

I just hope Rick doesn't
take advantage of Dave

just because his brother.

- Well, now, what
do you mean by that?

Well, I hope he doesn't
goof off, you know?

- Oh, how can you say
a thing like that?

Rick's very conscientious
and a good worker.

Besides, the boys have
always gotten along very well

together.
- I know that.

Of course, they've had
their little disagreements.

All brothers do.

Oh, well, if you mean the time
David ran Ricky's pants up

on the flagpole, they weren't
really mad at each other.

- I know that.

Why did David do that?

- Well, because Ricky had thrown
his bicycle into the lake.

- Oh, yeah.

Gee, I wonder why Rick
would do a thing like that.

- Because David pulled
his tent stakes up.

- Oh, yeah.

Well, that was a long time ago.

And they probably don't
even remember it by now.

- Oh, of course not.

At least I hope not.

Do you remember
when the boys went

into the lemonade business?

- What was that?

What did you say?

- I said, do you remember
when the boys went

into the lemonade business?

- Oh, yeah.

They were partners,
weren't they?

- No, they were rivals.

Don't you remember?

- Oh, yeah.

- Do you really think
it was David who put

the salt in Ricky's lemonade?

- I don't know.

I'd forgotten all about it.

- Well, that's what Ricky
claimed when he tied

David's shoelaces in knots.

- Watch the picture.

- Ozzie.

- Yeah?

- Do you remember
that cute little girl

with a red hair and green eyes,
the one you liked so much?

- You mean that crazy gal at
the Randolph's New Year's Eve

party?

The one who fell
down the stairs?

- I mean that cute
little girl Rick

used to go with in
junior high school.

- Oh.

- I think her name was Suzy.

Oh yeah.

And wait a second, I
thought she went with David.

Well, she did.

Don't you remember?

She had a date to go to
the movies with Ricky,

and David locked
him in the cellar.

- How do you remember
all those things?

Anyhow, I'm sure they
straighten it out somehow.

No, I don't think
they did, not really.

- Will you stop
worrying about the boys?

They'll get along fine.

What are you doing?
- Never mind.

You go take your bath or
whatever you're going to do.

Hello, David.

- Oh, hi, Mom.

- Well, I didn't mean to
wake you up are you in bed?

- Oh no.

I'm just doing some work.

What's the matter?

- You won't be too hard on
Rick tomorrow, will you?

- What do you mean?

- Well, after all, don't
forget he's your brother.

- Oh, sure.
I know that, Mom.

- Well, you know what I mean.

Give him something a
little important to do.

- Don't worry, I will.

- I know you will, dear.

Your father was just
a little worried.

Well, good night, dear.

Don't stay up too late now.

OK.

He'll take good care of him.

- Of course he will.

And what's the idea
telling him I was worried?

- Well, you were.

I can tell.

- Well, I wasn't.

And I'm not now.

Besides if I were worried,
it wouldn't be about Dave

taking advantage of Rick.

I just hope Rick
realizes he's not

going in there as a member of
the firm or even as a lawyer.

He's just a law clerk.

And he has to start right
where David started.

Well, I'm sure he realizes that.

What are you doing?

- I'm going to call Rick.

We don't want him starting
any trouble either.

[laughter and applause]

- Well, hi.
- Good morning.

I hope you don't mind
eating in the kitchen.

- No, food tastes just
as good out there.

Where are you
going this morning?

- What do you mean?

Oh, I kind of get the feeling
you give me the rush act here.

- Well, now how do
you figure that?

- Well, after you've been
married as long as we have

can kind of sense these things.

Need a little extra time to fix
your hair and pick out a dress,

so you give your poor
old husband the rush act.

- You've got it all
figured out, haven't you?

Well, haven't I?

- Not necessarily.

Well, you could have fooled me.

Where are you
going this morning?

- Downtown.

- I thought so.

- They're having a sale
down at the emporium.

So I thought I'd go down,
pick up a pair of shoes,

and then stop by the jeweler's
and have my watch cleaned.

Is there anything
I can do for you?

- Oh, yeah.

When you get to Dave's office,
say hello to the boys for me.

- What makes you
think I was going

to go by and see the boys?

Oh, I thought I detected a
mother hen look in your eyes.

- Well, they're my sons and I'll
worry about them if I want to.

Oh, I have no objection to that.

I just thought maybe while
you're clucking around here,

you might come up with a couple
of soft boiled eggs for me.

[laughter and applause]

- And this is what
you call a secretary.

- Hi, Secretary.
- Hi, Rick.

Welcome to the office.
- Thanks.

- He comes very
highly recommended.

- Oh, really?

- Yes, my mother
and father love him.

- Don't laugh.

I've learned a few
things at school

that might be very
helpful at the office

here, like Walker versus
McPherson for instance.

Oh, of course, you've
probably never heard of it.

- Oh, you mean the New Jersey
case, where the Stanley Steemer

frightened the farmer's horse.

- Yeah, how'd you
know about that?

- Dave warned me you'd
probably come up with that one.

[phone rings]

- Hello.

Mr. Nelson?
Just a moment.

- Oh, is that for me?

- Not this time.
- Judge Roberts, Dave.

- Oh, thanks.

I'll take it in my office.

Oh, I put him to work, will you?

- I'll do my best.

Now, let's see.

Maybe you'd like to start
out by acquainting yourself

with some of the cases
we're handling here.

- Yeah, that sounds interesting.

You can go over
them in the files.

Oh, OK.

- Oh, and while you're
there, maybe you

wouldn't mind filing these.

- Oh, OK.

A under A and B under B.

- Well, yeah, if you want to
foul up our filing system.

- Yes, Judge.
What can I do for you?

- Well, if you're still
serious about hiring

a clerk for your office, I'd
like to send my nephew over

to see you this morning.

- Your nephew?

- Yes, my sister's boy,
Carlisle Vanderpool.

He's a law student
and a darn good one.

In fact, he had straight
As last semester.

And that's why I want him to
get started with a good firm.

- Oh, yes sir.

I can understand that.

The only thing though--

JUDGE ROBERTS [ON
PHONE]: Now, you

understand there's
no obligation.

I don't want you to think
I'm applying any pressure.

I'm just-- I'm just
sending him over

so you can take a look at him.

I thought of your firm
because we've always

had such good relations
between our offices.

- Yes, I know.

- And if he doesn't
shape up down there,

don't you hesitate to fire him.

You just treat him
like anybody else.

- Oh, I'm sure he's
a fine young man.

- I mean, just because we
happen to be in a position

to throw a lot of
business your way

is there's no reason to give
him any special treatment.

- Well, I appreciate
your interest, Judge.

But--

JUDGE ROBERTS [ON
PHONE]: Thank you, Dave.

He's on his way over right now.

[buzz]

Oh, will you excuse me?

I have a long distance
call coming in.

And thanks for everything, Dave.

Judge?

Judge?

[music playing]

- Connie.

MISS EDWARDS [ON
INTERCOM]: Yes, Dave.

- Is Rick still out there?

MISS EDWARDS [ON
INTERCOM]: Oh, sure.

- Oh, yeah.

Figures he would be.

Does he look happy?

MISS EDWARDS [ON
INTERCOM]: Oh, yes.

I'd say so.

- Thanks a lot.

[buzz]

Yeah?

MISS EDWARDS [ON INTERCOM]:
What do you mean?

Yeah, what do you mean?

- Oh, come on in.

I'm afraid we've got a little
problem here this morning.

Oh, you've called
in the right man.

Now, as I recall, the Stanley
Steemer was owned by McPherson.

And the cow was owned by Walker.

I'll brief the case and have it
on your desk in a half an hour.

- I wish it was that easy.

- What's the matter?

- Well, Judge Roberts is sending
his favorite nephew over here

to apply for a job
clerking in the office.

- You mean there's
going to be two of us?

- No.

What are you going
to do, fire me?

- No, of course not.

- Oh, that's a relief.

That wouldn't look
too impressive

on my employment record.

At Dobson Kelley and Nelson?

Yes, sir.

I worked there for 10 minutes.

- Relax, will you?

Would you guys please
talk a little louder?

I can't hear what you're saying.

- Join the group.

- I don't get it.

Why didn't you just tell them
you already had a law clerk?

- Well, I tried.

I just couldn't seem to fit
it into the conversation.

Besides, he's not an easy
man to tell anything to.

He tells you.

- Well, if it's that important,
why don't I just step aside?

- No, I don't want
you to do that.

But what I mean is I don't
want you to keep me around here

just because I'm your brother.

- Look, that has
nothing to do with it.

The job is yours.

I'm just trying to figure
out some way of getting out

of this thing gracefully.
Well, who knows?

Maybe the judge's nephew
won't like it over here.

- Hey, yeah.

- Why shouldn't he like it,
with a young, hardworking boss

like you and a beautiful
secretary like Miss Edwards?

- That settles it.

This boy has to stay.

- Right.

And I think you came
up with the answer.

- I did?
What did I say?

- You said, maybe he
won't like it over here.

- Can I help you?

- Yes, my name is
Carlisle Vanderpool.

I have an appointment
to see Mr. Nelson.

- Yes, I know.

- It was arranged by
my uncle Judge Roberts.

Yes, won't you sit down
for a moment, please?

- Uncle Roy said Mr. Nelson
would see me immediately.

- Yes, sir.

Mr. Nelson, Mr. Carlisle--

excuse me.

Did you say Vanderpoo?

- Vanderpool.

Carlisle Vanderpool III.

- Oh, yes, sir.

Mr. Carlisle Vanderpool
III to see you.

Thank you.

He'll be with you
in just a moment.

- Yes, sir.

I'm sorry, sir.

It won't happen again.

I forgot the mustard on
Mr. Nelson's sandwich.

- Oh, that's too bad.

Will he be going out on any more
appointments this afternoon?

Not that I know of.

- Well, that's good.

I can wash his car this evening.

Is there something
wrong with your ankle?

- Oh, yeah.

I was dusting behind the filing
cabinets in the other office

there, and they fell
over on my big toe.

- Ooh, that's a shame.

Are you going to see a doctor?

- No, Mr. Nelson said
to wait until Saturday.

That's my day off.

- Oh, that's good thinking.

Have you seen my dust cloth?

- Yeah, it's over
there on the desk.

- Oh, yeah.

- Oh, and don't
forget, you still

have to repair the
mimeograph machine

and empty all the wastebaskets.

Oh, and Mrs. Peabody's
coming over in about an hour.

I imagine she'll want you
to walk her dog while she's

in conference with Mr. Nelson.

- Oh, is she bringing
that Great Dane with her?

- Oh, I imagine so.

- Yeah, but he always bites me.

I'm sure he doesn't mean to.

He's just playful.

Well, he tore the sleeve right
out of my jacket the last time.

Oh, hi.

Are you the one who's
applying for the job?

I mean as a clerk.

- Yes.
- Oh, good.

Well, you'd be taking my place.

I sure hope you make it.

Well, I guess you can
learn a lot working

in an office like this, huh?
Oh, sure.

Well, I didn't know anything
about greasing a car

or refinishing desks
before I came here.

Be sure you use a safety belt
when you wash the windows.

And remember, don't look down.

- Well, don't you get a chance
to work on any of the cases

at all?
- Shh.

Whatever you do, don't mention
anything like that around here.

[vacuum]

Oh, hi, Mom.
- Hi.

What are you doing down here?

- Oh, I was just downtown.

I thought I'd stop
and say hello.

How are you getting along?

- Oh, pretty good.

They're keeping me busy.

- Oh.

- How's he doing out there?

- He's got me convinced.

Good.

DAVE [ON INTERCOM]: Uh, clerk?
- Yes, sir.

DAVE [ON INTERCOM]: I don't hear
that vacuum cleaner going out

there.
- Yes, sir.

- I better get busy.

- Was that David?

Well, yes, ma'am.

Mr. David Nelson.

Is there something
I can do for you?

- I just thought you might
like to go to lunch with me.

- Oh, I'm not allowed
to go out for lunch.

- Well, you have
to eat something.

Shall I bring you a sandwich?
- Oh, no thanks, Mom.

Really.

DAVE [ON INTERCOM]: I still
don't hear that vacuum cleaner.

- Yes, sir.

- Are you sure that was David?

- Mom, maybe you had
better get me a sandwich.

That is, if you don't mind.

- And tell Mr. David
Nelson I'd like

to have a little talk
with him when I get back.

- Would you give Mr. Nelson
a message for me, too?

- OK.

- Tell him I don't think I have
the necessary qualifications

for the job.

- OK, I'll do that.

DAVE [ON INTERCOM]: Are we going
to hear that vacuum cleaner

or not?

- Come on in and do it
yourself, you old grouch.

- Where is he?
- He just left.

The poor guy couldn't take it.

- Oh, great.

I told you Rick was
doing a good job.

- I'm afraid it kind of shook
up Mom a little, though.

- Mom?
- Well, yeah.

She came in while
I was vacuuming,

and you were growling
at me over the intercom.

Oh my gosh.

Well, did you explain it to her?

Well, I didn't have a chance.

Carlisle III was
sitting right there.

Well, where's your mother now?

- Well, she probably went out
to get a lawyer and disowned me.

- No, she went out
to get me a sandwich.

I said something about not
being allowed out for lunch.

She's going to come back here
and hit me with something.

Hey, why don't we have a
little surprise for her

when she gets back?

- Like what?

- Well, let's prove
to her that you really

weren't taking advantage of me.

- Hey, yeah.

Put her on a little.

- Look, if you
don't mind, I think

we've had enough
games for today.

I am allowed to go to lunch,
and I'm leaving right now.

We need you to
explain everything.

- Yeah, Mom will
be back any minute.

- Thanks for joining me.

I'll sneak out the back way.

BOTH: Chicken.

- Harriet!

Well, what are you doing here?

- Well, I just thought I'd go
up and see if one of the boys

would like to have
lunch with me.

- Oh, well, David
might, but Ricky's stuck

with the vacuum cleaner.

- What?

I told David not to
take advantage of Rick.

Well, are you kidding?

I'm afraid Rick's taking
advantage of David.

Well, I don't know.

I was just upstairs and David
has Ricky doing the vacuuming.

- Well, maybe that's
part of the job.

- Of being a law clerk?

And not only that, Ricky stopped
vacuuming just long enough

to talk to me, and David
started yelling at him

through the intercom.

- You must be exaggerating.

- Well, you come on back
with me and see for yourself.

- And therefore, it
is my recommendation

that you accept the settlement
without further discussion.

Cordially, Eric H. Nelson, law
clerk, et cetera, et cetera.

Oh, hi, Mom.
Pop.

Well, hi.
Hi.

- Would you get that
out right away, please?

And be careful with the
spelling and the punctuation.

Have a seat.

I'll get David.

David, would you come in here?

- Where's the vacuum cleaner?

Oh, hi, Mom, Pop.
Hi.

- Oh, here.
Let me like that for you.

- Oh, no.
That's OK.

I just want to chew it.

- Oh yes.

- OK, you guys.
What's the gag?

Yeah, who do you think
you're putting on?

Oh, Rick just went on strike.

I have to do all the
dusting and everything.

[clears throat]

- Judge Roberts.

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon Oh
excuse me we're just

having a little fun
here in the office.

Oh, this is my mother and
father and my brother Rick.

- How do you do?

How do you do, sir?

- Rick's going to
work in the office

here as their new law clerk.

- Oh?

- Well, I can explain, Judge.

You see, when I talked
to you this morning,

we'd already hired
Rick for the job.

I know I should have
said something about it,

but, well, I just
couldn't seem to work it

into the conversation.

Well, that explains
quite a few things.

Oh, and I'm awfully
sorry about Carlisle.

Oh, don't worry about him.

I'll give him a
job in my office.

It'll make my sister
happier anyway.

- Oh, good.

That isn't what I came
over to see you about.

- Oh, why don't you
step into my office?

- Nice to have met you.

- Well, it's nice
to have met you.

- Thank you.

- Would you excuse
us for a minute?

- Oh, sure.

You can't say it isn't exciting
working in a law office.

- You sure can't.

- Well, actually, Mom,
when you walked in,

we were putting on a
little act to discourage

Judge Roberts' nephew.

He was looking for
a job here-- my job.

Well, I knew there was
something funny going on,

but I wasn't sure
just what it was.

And don't worry about
Dave and me getting along.

We're going to get
along just fine.

See, what I don't
think you realize,

Dave's not only my brother,
he's my best friend.

- Oh, I know that, dear.

Oh, sure.

We know that.

It's just that your mother was
a little worried last night.

Oh, no, dear.

Rick's the one you
called, remember?

- Oh.

Oh, yeah.

- Excuse me, Rick.
- Oh, yes, sir.

What do you need?
Pencils?

Stamps?

Empty your wastebaskets?

- It's the darndest thing.

You see, the judge
has this client who

collects vintage automobiles--
you know, old cars,

and fixes them up.

- Oh no, a Stanley Steemer.

- That's right.

And believe it or not,
it got out of control

and scared a horse
at a rally last week.

- You know, I think
I will have a light.

- See, I believe you said
that was a New Jersey case.

- That's right.

1908, Walker versus McPherson.

- Thank you.

By the way, the
judge and I'd like

a couple of ham sandwiches.

- And then there
was this other case,

it comes under the heading
of justifiable homicide.

[cheerful music]

[SINGING] Every time I think
about you, I get so mad.

I just can't get
along without you,

though you treat me so bad.

Yes, you're the
meanest gal I know.

Should be see you go,
but I get blue every time

I think about you, whoa yeah.

How can I start
with somebody new

when I just can't
stop loving you?

You've got your spell on me.

I'll never be free, whoa no.

Every time I think about
you, tears fall like rain.

Got to have my arms around you,
though you just bring me pain.

That's why in spite of
all you, snap your fingers

and I'll run 'cause I
get blue [vocalizing]

every time I think
about you, oh yeah.

Every time I think
about you, oh yeah.

Every time I think
about you, oh yeah.

[cheering]

- Tonight's "Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to you
by your gas company--

- Which helps you live
modern for less with gas.

- That's what we Nelsons do.

[jazz music]