All language subtitles for The.Adventures.of.Ozzie.and.Harriet.S12E22.The.Hayride.1080p.WEB-DL.AMZN.H.264.DDP.2.0_track3_[eng]

[music playing]

- "The Adventures of Ozzie
and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

And here's Rick.

Here they are, America's
favorite family, the Nelsons.

Tonight's "Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

is brought to you by the dairy
farmer members of the American

Dairy Association.

- You never outgrow your
need for milk's vitality.

- So drink a glass
with every meal.

- Here, Harriet,
let me help you.

- Oh, no, it's all right.
I've got them.

Besides, I think it's
Clara's turn to help.

- Oh, I always have to help.

I think there ought to be
two booby prizes so somebody

else could get a chance.

[laughs] Well, we'd
better get going.

I have to start
thinking about dinner.

- Oh, yeah, me, too.

How can our husbands
come home so hungry

after we've eaten so much?

- It sure was fun, Harriet.

- Oh, thank you.

- Oh, hi.

- Hi, Rick!

- I just stopped by to return
the thermos and Pop's sweater.

- Oh, thank you, dear.
How was the hay ride?

- Well, it may come
as quite a surprise,

but it was a lot of fun.
- Good.

- You went to a hayride?

- Yeah, a bunch of us at
the fraternity got together.

- A stag hayride?

- Well, not exactly.

We all had dates or our wives.

- Oh, that sounds
like lots of fun.

- Well, maybe I've been out of
touch with things or something,

but I didn't think they
had hay rides anymore.

- Well, yeah.

We rented a wagon and
all over at the stables.

- Good for you.

I think it's just wonderful
for married couples

to do romantic things like that.

- So do I.

- Well, I've got to get going.
It was nice to see you.

- Bye, Rick.
- Bye.

- Bye, dear.
- Bye, Mom.

- Tell Kris I said hello.
- OK.

- For us, too.

- OK.

- Oh, Harriet, he's
such a lovely boy.

- Aw, thank you.

I kind of like him, too.

- You know it's been years
since I was on a hayride.

- Me, too.

- I'll bet.

- What?

- I meant I believe you.

- Listen, why don't we get
the husbands and go on one

this Saturday night?

- Fine, whose husbands
are we going to get?

- Harriet!

- Well, let's face
it, I don't think

our husbands are going
to be exactly overjoyed

with the idea.

- Yeah, maybe you're right.

- Well, it's worth a try.

- Gee, it sure would be fun.

- Why don't I talk to
some of the other girls

and see if we can't
get something started?

- Wonderful!

- OK, now, remember, don't plan
anything for Saturday night.

- All right.

[chattering]

- Harriet, do you think we
can talk the fellas into it?

- I don't know.

- I think Joe might
go for the idea.

He can be pretty
romantic at times.

- Oh, well, so can Ozzie, though
I don't think he likes anybody

to know about it.

- I don't see how
they can resist--

a hayride under a
starry sky, and with us?

Well, that's two
out of three anyway.

OK, that does it.

- What does it?

- There's going to be a
full moon this weekend.

- Oh, that sounds wonderful.

- Harriet, we've just got to go.

- Hey, you know, we haven't
played poker in quite a while.

- Oh, that's right.

Why don't we get up a
game one of these nights?

- How about Saturday night?

- Sounds good to me.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Hi.

- Hi.
- How was the bridge game?

- Oh, just fine.
Thanks.

We had a lot of fun.

- What did we get
for the booby prize?

- Never mind.

Now, if you're
going to get funny,

I'm not going to tell you
about the wonderful surprise we

have for you.

- I'm almost afraid
to ask what it is.

- Are you ready?

We're all going to
go on a hayride.

- A hayride?

- A hayride?

- Yeah, Janet is going to
call some of the other girls

and get up a hayride
for Saturday night.

- Uh, this Saturday night?

- Yeah.

- Well, then that's perfect.

- Yeah.

- You mean you like the idea?

- Yeah, it works out great.

It'll be something
for you girls to do

while we're playing poker.

- Yeah, we're going to
play poker Saturday night.

- Oh, well, we kind
of figured you might

like to take us on the hayride.

- [laughs] You can't be serious.

- Well, what do you mean?

Of course we're serious.

- What's wrong with
going on a hayride?

- Well, nothing, I guess,
except hay rides are for kids.

- Yeah, for young
people in love.

- What do you mean by that?

- I mean--

- You usually think
of going on a hayride

before you're married.

- Oh, sure, when you're dating.

- All right, we'll
make it like a date.

- Sure.

Where's your sense of romance?

There's going to be a full moon.

- Full moon?

Hey, maybe we ought to
forget about the poker.

The fishing ought to be great
up at the lake with a full moon.

- That's right.
- OK, you guys.

Are you going to take us
on the hayride or not?

- Oh, come on now.

Be reasonable.

Riding around out in the
cold night air, get a chill

and wind up fighting over who
gets the hot water bottle.

- Come on, Harriet.

Let's not beg them.

If they don't want to go, let's
just forget the whole thing.

- Fine.

Now that we've got
that settled, how

about going home and
getting me some dinner?

- Oh, gee, I don't
know, Harry, a hayride.

It's slightly cold
and damp out there.

I doubt if they'll
have it anyway.

I think it was just
something to talk about.

Yeah, well, OK, but if
you can get out of it,

we'll have a little game going
on over here at my house.

OK.

So long, Harry.

- Oh, darling.

It seems too good to be true.

- Harriet, do you know the
Andersons' phone number?

- Shh.
It's in my address book.

- It's been such a long time.

Life without you means nothing.

- I have a surprise for you.

- Oh, Richard, you remembered--

my favorite champagne.

- How could I forget?

I remember everything about you.

- Is there anything else on?

- Shh.

- A toast to you
and me and Budapest.

[clink]

- Richard, darling,
there's so little time.

Must you leave tonight?

- Oh, try not to think about it.

We still have three
precious hours.

- Oh, Richard.

- Oh, Gwendolyn.

- [laughs] Oh, brother.

- Ozzie.

- I was just leaving.

- Have you heard from Charles?

- Hi, Joe.
Come on in.

- Oh, thanks, Oz.

I just had to get
out of the house.

- Is Clara putting the heat
on you about the poker game?

- Oh, no, no, she won't
even talk about that.

But she's watching an
old movie on television

that you just wouldn't believe.

- It's so gooey, I had
to get out of the house.

- Your hand is trembling.

- I know.

Oh, Richard, I had the most
terrible dream last night.

- About me?

- Yes.

Oh, it was so real.

It was so-- so terrible.

I dreamed that you
were going away

and told me you
loved another woman

and that I would
never see you again.

- Oh, darling, that's not true.

- Oh, Richard!

- Oh, my gosh.
- Shh.

Shh.

- Oh, my dear, I do love you.

I do, I do.

- Darling, I know I--

- I didn't mean to interrupt.

- Oh, I wouldn't worry about it.

I don't think she
even recognized you.

Oh, who did you get
for the poker game?

- Well, believe it or
not, some of the guys got

hooked into going
on the hayride.

- Yeah, I know that.

But how many did you line up?

- Well, nobody.

How about you?

- Uh, well, I got at
least as many as you did.

[laughs]

- Well, we can always
play honeymoon bridge.

- I still think she should
have married Richard.

Oh, hi, Joe.

- Well, they really go for that
romantic stuff, don't they?

- What else?

Why do you think they
dreamed up this hayride?

- Yeah, and you know something?

I'll bet we're the
only two husbands that

got out of going on it.

- Yeah, I guess we
were just lucky.

- You don't suppose we're
being selfish, do you?

- No, I don't think so.

- I mean, if they're
counting on going,

then I suppose we could go.

- Yeah, I suppose so.

- What are we trying to prove?

Why don't we give
in for a change

and forget about the poker
game, show a little generosity?

- We might as well,
as long as nobody's

going to show up anyway.

- Yeah, of course when I called
the guys, I left it open.

I said if they could get
away, to come on over.

- How many you
think will make it?

- You mean not counting us?

- Yeah.

- None.

- Well, then, no sense
in being stubborn.

Might as well give in gracefully
and go on the hayride.

- Yeah, I guess you're right.

- Well, I think I'll
be running along home.

Clara's probably
finished crying by now.

- Crying?

- Yeah.

Remember, she was watching
that sad movie, too?

- Oh.

Well, I guess women are
just sentimental by nature.

They're not going to change.

- No, that's the way they are.

Well, see you.

- OK.

Hey, Joe.

- Yeah?

- Look, here's an idea.

If they want a little
romance, why don't we

really do this thing up right?

- What do you mean?

- Well, instead of going on a
big hayride with a whole mess

of people, why don't we have
a nice intimate little hayride

for just the four of us?

You and Clara,
Harriet and myself.

- What are you trying to prove?

I don't get it.

- Well, think about it.

It'd be a lot more
romantic, and that's

what the girls seem to want.

- Yeah?

- We could even
hire an orchestra.

- An orchestra?

- Well, you know, a
couple of musicians,

maybe an accordion and
a guitar or something,

yeah, to come along and
play a little soft music.

I know it sounds
corny, but believe me,

the girls would love it.

- Yeah.

You know, I'm beginning
to like the idea myself.

This ought to set us
up for a whole year's

worth of poker games.

- [laughs] At least.

Oh, but look, let's not
tell them anything about it.

Why don't we pretend that we're
going to play poker and then

surprise them?

- Great, and listen,
we could even

bring a bottle of champagne.

- Oh, Richard, you remembered.

- Harriet.

- Oh, hi, Clara, come on in.

- I'm not disturbing you, am I?

- I should say not.
It's good to see you.

What's on your mind?
- Oh, nothing special.

I just thought I'd come over
and goof around for a while.

- Well, that's a good idea.
What's new?

- Well, for one
thing, I guess we

can kiss that hayride goodbye.

- It sure looks
like it, doesn't it?

- Joe must have mentioned that
poker game at least six times.

Oh, boy.

I can't wait till we play
poker on Saturday night.

- You know, come to think of
it, Ozzie's spoken about it

several times, too.

You don't think they're
up to something, do you?

- I don't know.

- Usually, when
Ozzie acts like that,

he's got something
he's trying to hide.

You know what?

I'll bet you they're going to
take us on a hayride after all.

- They are?

- Well, it certainly
sounds like it.

- Well, if they are, why don't
they come right out and say so?

- Well, they just want to tease
us a little and then surprise

us.

- You mean I ought to
move Joe out of the den

back into the bedroom?

- Something like that.

- You know, they're pretty
nice guys after all.

[phone rings]

- Hello?

Oh, hi, Janet.

You have?

How come?

Oh.

Well, I thought they'd
called that off.

Well, I guess I was wrong.

Yeah, she's here.

I'll tell her.

OK, and thanks, Jan.

Bye-bye.

Well.

- What's the matter?

- They called off the hayride.

- How come?

- Well, Janet says all the
husbands are backing out.

They're all going to come
over here and play poker

with Ozzie and Joe.

- Then they're not planning
a surprise after all.

- I guess not.

- Those no-good bums.

They were telling the
truth all the time!

- Harriet, do we have any
pretzels or potato chips

or anything like that?

- Here, I was just
bringing some in.

- Oh, thank you, dear.

I must say you're being an
awfully good sport about this.

- Well, if you must know,
it hasn't been easy.

- Well, cheer up.

I have a feeling I may get
lucky and be a winner tonight.

- I presume you're talking
about playing poker.

- You and your jokes.
- Hi, Harriet.

Hi, Oz.
- Hi.

- Hi, Joe.

- All ready for the
big game tonight?

- Yes, sirree.

Oh, I didn't expect to
see you here, Clara.

It's a pleasant surprise.

- I came over to
keep Harriet company.

- Now, remember,
Clara, you promised

to keep quiet and stay out of
the way if I let you come over

and talk to Harriet.

- Don't worry.

You won't get a word out of
me till I get you home again.

I have everything set
up in the dining room.

Come on and take a look.
- Oh, sure, Oz.

Excuse us, girls.

I can hardly wait
to get started, Oz.

I really feel lucky tonight.

- So do I.

- We got them going on.

Did you make all the
arrangements at the stable?

- Yeah, everything's all set.
- How about the musicians?

- Oh, yeah.
Wait till you see 'em.

Well, yeah.

They're really great.

They play guitars and sing, all
dressed up in Mexican costumes.

- Hey, we better get going.

- Oh, girls, we'll see
you a little later.

We're going downtown
for a few minutes.

- What for?

- Well, we want to
buy some new cards.

- Well, we've got
plenty of cards.

- We always like to
play with a new deck.

- Yeah, well, come on, Joe.
We'll see you later.

- Be right back.

- Oh, by the way,
would you girls

like a little snack, a
sandwich or something later on?

- Well, yeah, I suppose so.

- Well, would you
mind fixing them now?

Then you won't be running in
and out, disturbing the game.

Well, we'll see you.

How do you like it?

- Hey, this looks great.

- Here's a little surprise.

- Oh, the champagne.

- I thought it
added a nice touch.

- Oh, Richard.

- You remembered.

- Oh, hi-ya, fellas.

Nice to see you.

Mr. Randolph, this is
Pablo, Poncho, Manuel.

- No, Manuel, Pablo, Poncho.

- Manuel, Pablo,
Poncho, Mr. Randolph.

- Mucho glades to meet you.

- Great, boys.

You all set?

- Senor.

[singing in spanish]

- All right, that's fine.

We wait until the ladies
arrive, the senoritas.

- Ah, the senoritas.

[speaking in spanish]

- The driver should
be along any minute.

- Oz, just a second.

These costumes gave
me a great idea.

Why don't we really give
the girls a big thrill

and dress up ourselves?

- Hey, that is a great idea.

Boys, do you happen to
have any Mexican outfits

we could borrow?

You know, sombreros
and stuff like that?

- Oh, si, senior,
we fix you up good.

- Las muchachas.

[singing in spanish]

- No, no, no.

Whoa, boys.

Hold it.

No, no, no, no, no.

Those aren't our wives.

- Oh, too bad.

- Too bad.

- But don't worry.

We fix you up good.

- Very good.

- Very good.

- Yeah, that's
what I'm afraid of.

[laughs]

[spanish music playing]

- Hey, wait a second, Harry.

Your mustache is
a little crooked.

- Oh, thanks.

It kind of tickles my nose, too.

- Yeah, well, we won't
let the girls see us.

Well, this is it, fellas.

Are you ready, Don Jose?

- Ready, Don Jose.

- Hold it a second, fellas.

[door bell]

Here comes somebody.

[singing in spanish]

- Surprise!

- Hi.

What's going on?

- We're looking for the girls.

- They're not here.

- They're not here?

Well, now that's funny.

Just wait outside
a second, fellas.

- That's a pretty fancy-looking
outfit you got on.

- Oh, thanks, Doc.

- Now, look, what
the heck's going on?

- Oz, Joe.
- Hi, Harry.

- Hi.

What are you guys doing here?

- What do you think we're doing?

Playing poker.

- Why didn't you tell us
this was a costume party?

- Are you kidding?

- You guys sure look fancy.
- Oh, gee, thanks.

- But never mind that.

What happened to
Harriet and Clara?

- Well, they went out to a
movie right after we got here.

They seemed kind of quiet.

Were they upset about something?

- Well, maybe just a little.

- Well, let's get going.

- Uh, fellas?

What about this big hayride
you guys are supposed to be on?

- Well, we called that off after
you invited us to play poker.

Didn't Harriet tell you?

- Well, yes, but see,
we told the girls

that the poker
game was still on.

See, we were playing
a little joke on them.

Oh, this is awful.

- Oh, this is terrible.

- Did Harriet say what
movie they were going to?

- I think they said
something about a drive-in.

- We better see if
we can find them.

Let's get back in the wagon.
- The wagon?

You're not going
to take the wagon?

- Well, we need all
the proof we can get.

- Wait, wait a second.
What about the poker game?

- Yeah!

As long as the wives have
already accepted the fact that

we're playing...

- Are you kidding?

- Well, I just figured unlucky
in love, lucky at cards.

- We'll see you guys later.

- If you fellas aren't doing
anything Monday morning,

why don't you come in
for a little checkup?

- Well, all right.

[singing in spanish]

- Hold it, fellas.

Hold it.

I'm sorry, fellas.

Back to the wagon.

- OK.

- I hope pretty soon
they find some girls.

- Oh, si.

- OK.

- Now hold it, hold it
just right where you are.

- I-- I can understand
your concern, but, see,

we have a problem.
- Yeah, I can see that.

What is it, senor?

- No, no, we're Americanos.

- Americanos.

We speak English.
- Speak English.

We just want to go in there for
a minute and come right out.

- Look, this is a theater.

It's not a hayride.

What are you trying
to make out of me?

- Oh, no, I'm not
trying to make--

I mean, we just
want to go in there

and pick up somebody,
pick up a couple of girls.

- Oh, no, you don't, not
in this drive-in, senor.

We cater to a family trade here.

- You don't understand.

These are our wives.

- Wives?

[singing in spanish]

- Not now, fellas.

No, not now.

- A little later.

- We've got a surprise for them.

See, we'll just go in there and
get them and come right out.

- I don't know.

Maybe we better wait for
the manager to get back.

He just went to get
something to eat.

- But this will
just take a minute.

- Besides, I don't know what
to charge for the horses.

- Well, they're under 12.

They ought to get
in for nothing.

- Joe.

[speaking spanish]

- OK, OK.

- We'll just go in
there and get the wives,

and we'll be right out.

I promise you.

- All right.

You'll probably cost me my job.

- Oh, how much is that?

- Oh, it's on the house.
Go ahead.

- Oh, gracias, senor.

- I'll call that
and raise you 50.

- I'll see that, and I'll
raise you another 50.

- We could have stayed home
and heard this dialogue.

- I was just thinking
the same thing myself.

- Do you see them?

- Not yet.

Oh, there they are.

- I'll call that, and
I'll raise you another 50.

- Buenas noches, senoras.

- Oh, good evening.

Do you want any tacos, Harriet?

- No, thank you.

- No tacos, thank you.

- Clara, it's us!

- What?
- Hi, girls.

- Oh, for heaven's
sakes, what are you doing

in those ridiculous costumes?

- Ridiculous?

We've come to take
you on a hayride.

- Well, what happened
to the poker game?

- We had no intention
of playing poker.

- I'll see you.

I'll raise you 50.

- Now, Joe.

- That was the movie.

- Oh!

See, this is the little
surprise we planned for you--

our own private hayride.

- Just the four of us.

See?

We got the hay wagon.

We've even got some musicians.

- Yeah, OK, fellas.

Fellas.

Pablo!

- Oh, si, senor, it's
a very good picture.

- No, no, no, musica, musica.

- La musica, muchachos.

[singing in spanish]

- We even got some champagne.

- What did you do, drink it all?

- Pass some over, huh?

- These are our wives.

We haven't been drinking at all.

- A little softer, fellas.

- All we wanted to do was spend
a romantic evening with you.

- I can't hear you.

- A little softer,
fellas, please!

I said we planned
this all for you.

- Come on, Clara.

Let's go on a hayride.

We can pick the car up later.

- Come on, what
do you say, girls?

- Harriet, what do you
think we ought to do?

- Oh, I think we've had
them on long enough.

Besides, the
picture's pretty bad.

[applause]

- We had a wonderful time.

- We sure did.

- Well, we aim to please.

- Now, tell me honestly,
was that more fun

than playing poker?
- Are you kidding?

Who wants to play poker?

- Hey, Oz, they're
still playing.

- Hey, yeah.

- Never mind.

You fellas aren't interested.

Remember?
- That's right.

We promised to spend the
whole evening with you girls,

and that's what
we're going to do.

- But, Oz...

- Well, let's see what's
on the old telly, shall we?

- Oh, Richard, I had the most
terrible dream last night.

- Oh, Harriet.

- It was awful.

It was so real.

I dreamed that you
were going away,

but you told me you
loved another woman

and that I would
never see you again.

- Oh, darling, it's not true.

- Oh, Richard.

- No, darling, please don't cry.

Oh, my dear, I do love you.

I do, I do.

- I know I'm being foolish and
I shouldn't, but I love you.

I know I love you, and I want
you to know that I love you.

You do know that, don't you?

- Oh, I do, I do, I do.

- Richard, darling,
there's so little time.

Must you leave tonight?

- OK, boys--

[chatter]

[RICK NELSON, "EVERYTIME I THINK
ABOUT YOU"]

[SINGING] Every time I think
about you, I get so mad.

I just can't get
along without you,

though you treat me so bad.

Yes, you're the
meanest gal I know.

I should be glad to see you
go, but I get blue every time

I think about you.

Oh, yeah.

How can I start
with somebody new

when I just can't
stop loving you?

You've got your spell on me.

I'll never be free.

Oh, no.

Every time I think about
you, tears fall like rain.

Gotta have my arms around you,
though you just bring me pain.

That's why in spite of all
you've done, snap your fingers,

and I'll run 'cause I get blue
every time I think about you,

oh, yeah.

Every time I think
about you, oh, yeah.

Every time I think
about you, oh, yeah.

[applause]

- Tonight's "Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to you by the dairy
farmer members of the American

Dairy Association.

- You never outgrow your
need for milk's vitality.

- Join us in a glass now.

[music playing]