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Previously on Ally McBeal.
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-How'd you even get here?
-Airplane.
3
00:00:04,754 --> 00:00:07,465
-Airplane?
-Big steel thing with wings. Flies.
4
00:00:07,549 --> 00:00:09,300
Mm, I don't know what to do, Ally.
5
00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:11,219
Larry, you need to go to Detroit.
6
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You can't take him away from his mother,
and he needs his father.
7
00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:16,349
-John?
-Yes.
8
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:19,227
-Do you want to walk me home tonight?
-[John] I am enraptured.
9
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It's this tiny little room.
Itty-bitty little bed.
10
00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:24,482
Itty-bitty little chair.
11
00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:27,444
I so wanted you to see my apartment.
Do you really like it?
12
00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:29,529
Melanie, it's magical.
13
00:00:29,612 --> 00:00:31,197
I have a problem with good-byes.
14
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:33,324
That dream you had,
where I left with a note?
15
00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:35,410
That would beexactly what I'd do.
16
00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:37,495
Now, I won't say good-bye,but I'll just--
17
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-[Ally] Leave a note.-I will come back.
18
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[Vonda]
♪ Last night I waved good-bye ♪
19
00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:51,051
♪ Now it seems years ♪
20
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♪ I'm back in the city ♪
21
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♪ Where nothing is clear ♪
22
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♪ But thoughts of meholding you ♪
23
00:01:05,523 --> 00:01:09,277
♪ Bringing us near ♪
24
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♪ And tell mewhen will our eyes meet ♪
25
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♪ When can I touch you? ♪♪
26
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[screaming]
27
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,667
[screaming, babbling]
28
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What's the matter?
29
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-Uh, I-- He-- Um--
-What?
30
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-I-I was hallucinating.
-Wh-What? You saw Larry?
31
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-No.
-Al Green?
32
00:01:36,971 --> 00:01:39,057
-No.
-Gloria Gaynor?
33
00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:42,477
-No.
-Then who? Who'd you see?
34
00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:45,980
Barry Manilow.
35
00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:49,150
Call 911.
36
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{\an8}♪ I've been downdown, down ♪
37
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{\an8}♪ I've been down this road ♪
38
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{\an8}♪ Walkin' the linethat's painted by pride ♪
39
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{\an8}♪ And I have made mistakesin my life ♪
40
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{\an8}♪ That I just can't hide ♪
41
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{\an8}♪ Oh, I believe I am ready ♪
42
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{\an8}♪ For what love has to bringYeah ♪
43
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{\an8}♪ I got myself together, yeah ♪
44
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{\an8}♪ Now I'm ready to sing ♪
45
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:25,562
{\an8}♪ I've been searchingmy soul tonight ♪
46
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{\an8}♪ I know there'sso much more to life ♪
47
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{\an8}♪ Now I knowI can shine a light ♪
48
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{\an8}♪ To find my way back home ♪
49
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{\an8}-♪ Oh ♪
-♪ Hoo, hoo ♪
50
00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:40,535
{\an8}♪ Baby, yeah ♪
51
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{\an8}-♪ Hoo, hoo ♪
-♪ Oh, yeah ♪♪
52
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{\an8}Okay, uh, first up, the good news
is we're making more money.
53
00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:12,192
{\an8}The bad news is
I can never get enough.
54
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:14,110
{\an8}John and I have hired
a new associate. Rainmaker.
55
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:18,531
{\an8}Big portables. I'd like to introduce you
all to him now. Unfortunately, he's late.
56
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:22,452
{\an8}-Who is this person?
-Oh, no-nobody has to feel threatened.
57
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{\an8}I love you all. Nobody's job is in peril
as we speak, at 10 past 9:00.
58
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{\an8}And by the way, Nelle, you didn't complain
when we brought you in as rainmaker.
59
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{\an8}Light drizzle
that you turned out to be.
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{\an8}-Move along, Richard.
-Yes.
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{\an8}Next up, on a more
personal note, um--
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{\an8}♪ This one will never sell ♪
63
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{\an8}♪ They'll never understand ♪♪
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{\an8}What! Ah--
65
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{\an8}I-- Oh!
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{\an8}Oh, sorry. Tickle.
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00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:58,696
{\an8}You're not gonna get all weird again
now that Larry's gone, are you?
68
00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:01,407
Ling, I never stopped
being weird.
69
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:06,079
I-I was just going to extend our support
in your time of newfound loneliness, Ally.
70
00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:08,706
And we're all, uh, here for you.
71
00:04:08,790 --> 00:04:11,584
Yeah. And I'm gonna find
someplace else to be weird.
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-Oh!
-[gasps] Uh--
73
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I beg your pardon.
74
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Uh, I'm Jackson Duper. Today is,
uh, my first day at work here.
75
00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:33,648
-Hi.
-Hi.
76
00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:36,109
-Welcome!
-Thank you.
77
00:04:36,192 --> 00:04:38,945
{\an8}So, actually, everybody is
in there waiting for you.
78
00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:41,864
Right. Uh, could you point me
to the, uh, facilities?
79
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:44,033
-I need to--
-Mm-hmm.
80
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:47,537
-Yeah.
-Yeah, yeah. It's-- It's that way.
81
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,247
Thank you.
82
00:04:56,754 --> 00:04:59,507
{\an8}Mmm.
83
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{\an8}-Elaine.
-Mmm.
84
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:04,554
{\an8}-Elaine?
-Mmm.
85
00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:07,390
{\an8}Oh. Excuse me.
86
00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:10,393
{\an8}I'm, uh, looking
for Mr. John Cage.
87
00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:13,438
{\an8}-John Cage?
-Uh--
88
00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:16,399
{\an8}-Well, he-he's right over there.
-Oh, thank you.
89
00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:20,028
Uh, Mr. Cage?
90
00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:23,823
-Yes?
-I have a delivery for you.
91
00:05:23,906 --> 00:05:26,826
-Oh.
-It's from Melanie West.
92
00:05:26,909 --> 00:05:29,996
Oh, thank you.
Oh, that--
93
00:05:30,830 --> 00:05:32,957
-Oh!
-[gasps]
94
00:05:33,041 --> 00:05:36,961
Mmm! Uh, say,
I'm-I'm spoken for.
95
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[barks]
So am I.
96
00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:42,425
[laughing]
97
00:05:43,968 --> 00:05:45,970
Happy Valentine's Day.
98
00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:48,806
-[laughing continues]
-[Richard] All right!
99
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:51,100
Ca-- Sa--
100
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:55,772
Say, could you just, uh,
excuse me for one minute?
101
00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,815
Uh--
102
00:06:03,988 --> 00:06:06,324
-Hey.
-Hey.
103
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{\an8}-It's tough, huh?
-Yeah.
104
00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:14,165
{\an8}Well, I suppose Valentine's Day
doesn't make it any easier.
105
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:19,003
{\an8}[door closes]
106
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{\an8}-Did you hear from him yet today?
-Yeah.
107
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,509
{\an8}Yeah, we talked this morning,
and we're gonna talk again tonight.
108
00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:26,511
{\an8}You know, I'm-I'm fine, John.
109
00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:29,639
{\an8}Long-distance relationships, well,
they've certainly been known to work.
110
00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:31,182
{\an8}Absolutely.
111
00:06:31,265 --> 00:06:33,476
{\an8}I have to concentrate
on this silly little annulment case,
112
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{\an8}which I'm late for.
113
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{\an8}-You know, John, could you do it for me?
-Uh, doesn't it start today?
114
00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:41,484
{\an8}Ye-Yes.
115
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:45,696
{\an8}But, um, truthfully, I just don't think
that I-I'm going to be able to handle--
116
00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:48,783
a case about a broken
relationship right now.
117
00:06:48,866 --> 00:06:51,452
-So, I--
-I'm in deposition on the Burke matter.
118
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You really don't think
that you can do it?
119
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Well, I don't.
120
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:56,499
I'm-I'm sort of, um--
121
00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:00,545
I'm hallucinating a little.
122
00:07:00,628 --> 00:07:03,548
-Hallucinating how?
-Well, it-it-- That's not important.
123
00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:07,093
Ally, Ally, you're asking another lawyer
to take over on the day of trial.
124
00:07:07,176 --> 00:07:10,263
-Well, Ling has been second chairing.
-I'm not ready to!
125
00:07:10,346 --> 00:07:12,223
-John?
-Oh, look!
126
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I have never, ever, ever once asked for
myself to be removed from a case before.
127
00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:18,896
But I'm--
Well, I'm a little fragile.
128
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:21,649
-And I--
-Wh-What kind of hallucinations?
129
00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:24,110
It's, uh-- I've been--
Barry Manilow.
130
00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:27,613
Ah. You're off the case.
Ling?
131
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:30,074
I'm gonna need backup.
This is a tricky one.
132
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:32,785
I'll put Jackson Duper on it. It'll be
good to get him right in the flow.
133
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:36,372
-Ally, can you bring him up to speed?
-Yes, yes, of course.
134
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,124
And I-- I, um,
135
00:07:40,668 --> 00:07:43,087
completely apologize.
136
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:47,175
Uh, well, yeah. What--
137
00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:49,510
-I love Barry Manilow.
-You do?
138
00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:51,679
Why wouldn't I?
He's written a hundred songs.
139
00:07:51,762 --> 00:07:53,723
Stars today are lucky
if they write two.
140
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:57,560
Well, Melanie, I mean, he's hardly
what I would call "hip."
141
00:07:57,643 --> 00:08:00,271
Poop. [barks]
Neither am I.
142
00:08:00,354 --> 00:08:02,815
But I love him.
143
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,151
Why are you lookin' at me that way?
144
00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:10,656
Because, well, I love him too.
145
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:13,159
-Don't make fun of me, Cage. Poop.
-I'm not.
146
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:15,786
-And stop callin' me poop.
-I didn't mean to call you poop.
147
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:17,663
Just cover your mouth.
You cover your mouth for a cough.
148
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,416
-Why can't you do so for a poop?
-Poop!
149
00:08:24,545 --> 00:08:26,088
Do you really like
Barry Manilow?
150
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:27,632
I do.
151
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:32,178
For my sexual persona,
I've always gone to Barry White.
152
00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:33,346
Oh.
153
00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:36,349
But for my solitude,
it's always been Barry Manilow.
154
00:08:36,432 --> 00:08:38,851
-[barks]
-Yeah.
155
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:45,107
I think I'm ready to share
something big with you.
156
00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:48,194
What?
157
00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:52,073
See, no, I assure you, Clayton, that Ling
can do this. And with Jackson's backup--
158
00:08:52,156 --> 00:08:54,909
It's just on the very day
of the trial.
159
00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:57,161
Given that, the up-to-speed thing
should begin. What's the trial about?
160
00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:59,413
-Well, uh--
-I married a nymphomaniac.
161
00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:02,833
Uh, this, well-- Well, see, we're trying
to annul the marriage.
162
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:05,753
We also sued the minister, and the judge
joined the complaints.
163
00:09:05,836 --> 00:09:07,964
Why'd you sue the minister?
164
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:10,174
My wife was having an affair
with him at the time
165
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:11,717
he joined our hands
in holy matrimony.
166
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:14,887
Your wife was sleeping
with the minister?
167
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,723
All right.
We'd better get go--
168
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:23,229
-What are you doing here?
-I-I work here.
169
00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:28,025
-You're Jackson Duper?
-What's goin' on?
170
00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:34,448
Excuse me.
171
00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:36,617
Hey, Ling?
172
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:39,161
So, Jackson Duper, you don't
tell a woman your real name?
173
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,289
For all I knew, you could--
174
00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:42,290
You knew me well enough
to go to bed with me.
175
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:45,001
-Oh, look--
-Why the alias? You wanted?
176
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:46,794
-No.
-Certainly not by me.
177
00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:48,546
Excellent.
Do I get to talk?
178
00:09:48,629 --> 00:09:50,840
-Fine. Quick. Think up something.
-Look--
179
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:51,841
-Back to "look."
-Hey.
180
00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:54,176
-We're back to "hey."
-Ling?
181
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:58,431
How'd you know my real name?
Oh, that's right. I gave it to you.
182
00:09:58,514 --> 00:10:00,725
What an odd thing to do.
183
00:10:04,353 --> 00:10:06,314
What's the big secret, John?
184
00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:11,652
It's big.
185
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:18,367
Nobody-- Nobody...
186
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,912
has ever.
187
00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:24,832
When you showed me
your apartment a few weeks ago?
188
00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:32,965
I almost showed you then.
But even then I--
189
00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:37,261
Melanie, you must promise
never, ever to tell anybody.
190
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:40,306
My lips are-- [whoops]
Whatever.
191
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:46,687
Well, I've seen your toilet, John.
192
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:51,192
Shh.
193
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:06,290
-[beeps]
-[wings flapping]
194
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,795
[Melanie]
Oh!
195
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:15,383
Oh!
196
00:11:16,592 --> 00:11:19,011
-What is this?
-[beeps]
197
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:26,102
Well, I call it my hole in the wall.
198
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:28,104
[chuckles]
199
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:31,982
It's, uh, just where I come
for solitude.
200
00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:35,111
It's my secret hideaway.
201
00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:37,113
-[hisses]
-Oh.
202
00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:40,282
Imagine my surprise
when I saw your home.
203
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,076
Uh-huh.
204
00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:46,664
I always thought it was a bit of a miracle
to find a beautiful woman--
205
00:11:46,747 --> 00:11:49,333
-Hmm.
-one who has Tourette's,
206
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,127
likes small places.
207
00:11:52,461 --> 00:11:55,172
But one who also loves
Barry Manilow.
208
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:59,260
-Melanie.
-Yeah?
209
00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:07,518
Will you marry me?
210
00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:10,187
-[whoops]
-[whoops]
211
00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:15,484
Hello?
212
00:12:32,501 --> 00:12:34,044
Are you serious?
213
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:36,505
Yes, I'm serious.
214
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:40,176
Don't tell me I'll have to wrestle
your father again to get your hand.
215
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,305
-[barks]
-[screams]
216
00:12:44,388 --> 00:12:47,349
-[Richard] Hello? Anybody here?
-[screams]
217
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:57,568
Richard?
218
00:12:58,402 --> 00:13:00,988
I keep hearing noises. I hope
we don't have rats in the walls.
219
00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:02,656
[Melanie barks]
220
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,451
That sounded like a dog.
221
00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:11,248
♪ Even now ♪
222
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:15,336
-What?
-He's--
223
00:13:15,419 --> 00:13:18,088
He's, um--
H-He's in there.
224
00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:19,882
[sighs]
B.M.?
225
00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:22,510
-Mmm.
-Ally, you have to confront him.
226
00:13:22,593 --> 00:13:24,804
The way to fight nightmares
or demons or hallucinations--
227
00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:25,721
they say you have to take them on.
228
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,057
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's what Tracy used to tell me.
229
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:30,893
Take his head off. That's the only way
to deal with ghosts.
230
00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:33,103
-Right.
-Okay.
231
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:37,733
[door closes]
232
00:13:47,868 --> 00:13:50,579
It was watching our wedding videos
that I first saw it.
233
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:51,831
Saw what, sir?
234
00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:55,751
That the woman purporting to
be my wife had a problem.
235
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:59,004
Your Honor, I'd like to now play
the video with enhancements.
236
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,089
[people cheering on video]
237
00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:01,882
We pick it up when
the ceremony had finished.
238
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:05,094
Please pay close attention to the bride
and the minister, Reverend Compton.
239
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:10,307
Okay. I'm gonna blow it up
even more now.
240
00:14:10,391 --> 00:14:12,601
Watch the mouths.
241
00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:16,480
[gasping]
242
00:14:16,564 --> 00:14:19,191
-[woman] Oh, my goodness!
-[pointer whips]
243
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,736
What happened after you saw this,
Mr. Hooper?
244
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,406
I confronted Marsha
about it.
245
00:14:25,489 --> 00:14:29,743
Finally, she admitted that she and the
minister had been having a horrid affair.
246
00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,745
-I said "torrid."
-Mrs. Hooper.
247
00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:35,749
Mr. Hooper, you're seeking an annulment
from Mrs. Hooper,
248
00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:37,793
saying that you were
never really married.
249
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,795
-Yes. It was all a fraud.
-Yes.
250
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:44,049
Well, I'm not... clear how you can then be
suing my client, Reverend Compton,
251
00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:46,343
for interfering
in a marital relationship...
252
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:48,804
if you claim that
no such relationship existed.
253
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:50,472
Well, maybe
there would have been...
254
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:53,142
if he hadn't inserted his fat, wet,
Episcopalian tongue
255
00:14:53,225 --> 00:14:54,268
into the bride's mouth.
256
00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:57,396
Your Honor, I'm not comfortable with the
response. I'm gonna go ahead and object.
257
00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:58,814
Overruled.
258
00:14:59,356 --> 00:15:03,903
Granted, Mr. Hooper, it wasn't right for
Reverend Compton to buss your wife.
259
00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:07,197
-But how did--
-Buss? You call that a buss?
260
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:09,617
-Your Honor--
-He practically bussed her tonsils!
261
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:12,494
I'm not comfortable with
that response, Your Honor.
262
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:16,040
When you confronted my client,
she told you she had a disease,
263
00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:17,124
didn't she, Mr. Hooper?
264
00:15:17,207 --> 00:15:20,669
Yeah. It was an infidelity disease.
Let's throw her a fund-raiser.
265
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,212
Just answer my question, sir.
266
00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:25,049
Your wife told you she was a nymphomaniac,
did she not?
267
00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:27,801
So what?
I was there.
268
00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:32,014
I betrothed my penis to her, till death
or-or impotence do us part.
269
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:35,809
Your Honor, my client is a minister.
I'm not comfortable with the vulgarity.
270
00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:38,020
Mr. Milter? Sit down.
271
00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:46,236
You still haven't really
given me an answer, Melanie.
272
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:49,281
John, you can't just propose to somebody
inside the wall of a bathroom stall...
273
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:50,908
and expect a quick answer.
274
00:15:51,867 --> 00:15:55,955
-So, you need time to think about--
-Come on.
275
00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:58,082
[bell dings]
276
00:15:58,165 --> 00:16:00,250
I still can't believe it.
277
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:02,461
Well, I don't know what to tell you.
Trust me.
278
00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:04,546
-What's wrong?
-He doesn't think this is a real case.
279
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,090
Listen, I get put on this thing
280
00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:08,759
because the lead attorney
is hallucinating Barry Manilow.
281
00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:12,554
Then we got the minister who's
French-kissing the bride, who's a nymph.
282
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:15,265
All the while there's this wacky lawyer
who keeps saying
283
00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:16,892
how he's "not comfortable."
284
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,769
Now I'm-- Hey,
I'm beginning to wonder if--
285
00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:19,853
[whirring]
286
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:31,031
It's not that I don't want to marry you
per se, John.
287
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:32,866
That's not it at all.
288
00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:34,660
Then wh-what is it?
289
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:37,997
I'm not-- I-I just--
I'm, um--
290
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:42,376
The idea of being institutionalized
is a little repugnant to me,
291
00:16:42,459 --> 00:16:45,254
even-- even if the institution
is marriage.
292
00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:49,216
-What are you talking about?
-I don't believe in marriage.
293
00:16:50,759 --> 00:16:52,761
You don't believe
in marriage?
294
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,096
No.
295
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:57,641
-Uh, the custom is silly.
-Then--
296
00:16:57,725 --> 00:17:01,145
Okay, well, just-- Would you mind
telling me why?
297
00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:04,231
I just don't think that love
is something you contract.
298
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:06,734
Well--
299
00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:13,741
You've suddenly gone from
wanting to be with me forever...
300
00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,659
to wondering whether you
want to be with me at all?
301
00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:18,829
-I'm just surprised, that's all.
-Well, I love you, John.
302
00:17:18,912 --> 00:17:20,164
It's not that.
303
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:24,376
Oh! Fudge.
304
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:27,755
[clears throat]
Okay. Well. Okay.
305
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:37,056
Okay. So what else?
Oh, how's Sam?
306
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:40,684
-He's doing great.
-Oh. Aw.
307
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:43,645
-Will you send him my love?
-Sure.
308
00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:46,482
-Right. How's Jamie?
-Oh, she's doing fine.
309
00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:51,320
Aw. Oh, will you send her the measles?
No. No, no.
310
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:52,780
Don't send her the measles,
311
00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:55,449
because that would mean
that you'd have to get too close.
312
00:17:55,532 --> 00:17:58,285
-Ally.
-Oh, yeah.
313
00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:02,039
Yeah, I'm really tired.
314
00:18:02,122 --> 00:18:03,499
I miss you.
315
00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:06,210
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
316
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:10,255
-Oh, you know, thanks for the flowers.
-You like them?
317
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:12,716
-Oh, they're cute.
-Well, good.
318
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,177
-I love you.
-Love you.
319
00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:18,847
-Ciao bella. Ciao bella.
-Mmm.
320
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,599
-Bye.
-Bye.
321
00:18:20,974 --> 00:18:22,768
Mmm.
[clears throat]
322
00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:43,872
♪♪ [piano]
323
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:57,344
[Barry Manilow] ♪ We had the right loveat the wrong time ♪
324
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:03,684
♪ Guess I always knew inside ♪
325
00:19:03,767 --> 00:19:09,106
♪ I wouldn't have youfor a long time ♪
326
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:13,485
♪ Those dreams of yours ♪
327
00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:17,573
♪ Are shinin'on distant shores ♪
328
00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:21,660
♪ And if they'recallin' you away ♪
329
00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:26,081
♪ I have no rightto make you stay ♪
330
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:33,005
[Vonda]
♪ But somewhere down the road ♪
331
00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:35,757
♪ I know that heart of yours ♪
332
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:39,511
♪ Will come to see ♪
333
00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:45,934
♪ That you belong ♪
334
00:19:47,352 --> 00:19:50,814
♪ With me ♪♪
335
00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:05,913
Look, lady. If you've got some big scorn
thing goin' on here--
336
00:20:05,996 --> 00:20:08,999
Don't flatter yourself.
I work up more scorn over a pimple.
337
00:20:09,082 --> 00:20:11,835
-Well, you must have one now because--
-Yeah. Tiny.
338
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:13,921
The size of your integrity.
339
00:20:14,004 --> 00:20:16,340
-That's-- That's funny.
-What's goin' on?
340
00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:19,384
Nothing.
341
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:21,678
Hey, I'm just gonna
put it on out here, okay?
342
00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:25,724
Richard, Ling and I got biblical one
evening after we met in a bar.
343
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:29,811
Biblical?
You, uh, prayed together?
344
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:32,856
Well-- Well, if by "pray,"
you mean on your knees--
345
00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:34,149
Hey!
346
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:38,237
-You had sex?
-Yes.
347
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:43,951
-Oh.
-Jackson Duper, meet Richard Fish.
348
00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:46,870
-Yeah, I met Richard--
-My boyfriend.
349
00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:53,502
Oh. Hey.
350
00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:59,508
Let's just try to calm down, John,
and think things through.
351
00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:02,719
Don't tell me to think, Ally.
When I think, it hurts. I feel pain.
352
00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:06,181
It does me no good to distract myself
from pain by thinking about it...
353
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,517
if thinking about it
brings me more pain!
354
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,019
-Well-Well--
-You think? Feel. Think? Feel! Balls!
355
00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,646
Okay. Well, then let's just talk
about it.
356
00:21:12,729 --> 00:21:14,147
Talk about what? "It"?
357
00:21:14,231 --> 00:21:17,192
If I talk about it, then I think about it,
which brings me back to feeling about it!
358
00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:19,111
Talk, think, feel,
pain, balls!
359
00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:21,822
Okay! Well, then I'm gonna talk about it!
You are gonna listen.
360
00:21:21,905 --> 00:21:24,074
-She didn't reject you.
-Oh!
361
00:21:24,157 --> 00:21:27,160
Oh, no, no, no, no! John, I am talking,
and you are gonna listen.
362
00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:31,164
And don't give me any of this "think,
talk, feel, pain, balls" thing.
363
00:21:33,875 --> 00:21:35,877
She's afraid of marriage.
Okay, who isn't?
364
00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:37,296
-People.
-Quiet.
365
00:21:37,379 --> 00:21:38,630
-Poop!
-Poop?
366
00:21:38,714 --> 00:21:40,048
That's what she does to me.
367
00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:42,426
She throws it in at the last minute.
Blames it on the Tourette's.
368
00:21:42,509 --> 00:21:44,594
But it is intentional.
She does it to rattle me.
369
00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:45,637
Okay! All right!
370
00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:49,141
I am talking! I will not have
any more interruptions! Are we clear?
371
00:21:49,224 --> 00:21:51,268
I am speaking.
372
00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:54,771
Now, she loves you.
She has doubts about marriage.
373
00:21:54,855 --> 00:21:57,691
And if you go and you talk to her, John,
you cannot be defensive...
374
00:21:57,774 --> 00:22:00,277
because when you get defensive,
you start to attack.
375
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:01,278
When you attack,
376
00:22:01,361 --> 00:22:03,905
she is not gonna feel that you are
entitling her to her feelings.
377
00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:07,534
And if that happens, then you didn't--
No, no! Just don't-- Mmm.
378
00:22:07,617 --> 00:22:09,703
Now, when you go
and you talk about it,
379
00:22:09,786 --> 00:22:12,706
you have to keep reminding yourself
over and over again that she loves you.
380
00:22:12,789 --> 00:22:14,541
-She loves you.
-She slept with him.
381
00:22:14,624 --> 00:22:16,752
-[screams]
-What? Who?
382
00:22:16,835 --> 00:22:19,713
What who? The new who.
Jackson Super Duper.
383
00:22:19,796 --> 00:22:21,923
-She-She slept with him.
-What, Melanie did?
384
00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:24,468
Ling! They met in a bar
a couple of years ago.
385
00:22:24,551 --> 00:22:26,553
She went back to his place
and concubined.
386
00:22:26,636 --> 00:22:29,973
I want to just beat him up. I want to just
take him by the throat and pound him.
387
00:22:30,057 --> 00:22:32,476
Oh, who you tryin' to kid, Richard?
You couldn't even take Ling.
388
00:22:32,559 --> 00:22:34,478
-You--
-[yelps]
389
00:22:34,561 --> 00:22:35,979
Hey! Hey!
390
00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:38,231
-[gagging]
-Stop it! Stop it! Stop it, Richard!
391
00:22:38,315 --> 00:22:42,527
Richard, stop it! You listen, Richard!
Richard!
392
00:22:43,862 --> 00:22:46,323
Now, Melanie loves you
and you should be grateful, John.
393
00:22:46,406 --> 00:22:49,576
And Ling loves you. And of course
she's slept with people before.
394
00:22:49,659 --> 00:22:52,954
Now, what you two
are feeling is vulnerable.
395
00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:56,833
And when you feel this way, the best thing
to do is communicate. Okay?
396
00:22:56,917 --> 00:22:58,668
You to Melanie. You to Ling.
397
00:22:58,752 --> 00:23:02,506
I want you two to shake hands to make up
for that shove too.
398
00:23:06,009 --> 00:23:08,845
-Sorry, John.
-Me too.
399
00:23:08,929 --> 00:23:11,348
I, uh--
This is just, uh--
400
00:23:11,431 --> 00:23:12,933
Excuse me.
401
00:23:14,935 --> 00:23:16,978
[sighs]
402
00:23:17,604 --> 00:23:18,772
Richard in there?
403
00:23:18,855 --> 00:23:20,482
Oh, not a good time, Mark.
What's the matter?
404
00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:26,154
-This new guy. I don't like him.
-Why?
405
00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:29,241
Well, to be honest,
it's Elaine.
406
00:23:29,324 --> 00:23:31,993
She hasn't stopped sweating
since he got here.
407
00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:37,207
-Are we exaggerating a little?
-I don't know, Ally.
408
00:23:37,290 --> 00:23:38,917
Why don't you tell me?
409
00:23:49,177 --> 00:23:52,139
-It was under duress.
-Duress?
410
00:23:52,222 --> 00:23:56,643
Yes. Though I've committed myself to God,
he created me as a man...
411
00:23:56,726 --> 00:23:58,937
with... man's urges.
412
00:23:59,020 --> 00:24:02,357
Reverend Compton, why don't you
just tell us what happened?
413
00:24:02,441 --> 00:24:06,153
Well, Marsha and I were planning
the wedding in my office,
414
00:24:06,236 --> 00:24:09,698
going over the ceremonial options
and what for.
415
00:24:09,781 --> 00:24:14,494
And suddenly, I look up from my desk,
and there's this areola.
416
00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:18,498
Areola?
417
00:24:18,582 --> 00:24:20,917
The pigmented part of the breast
immediately surrounding the nipple.
418
00:24:21,001 --> 00:24:23,587
Yes, I'm familiar with the term.
How did this areola come--
419
00:24:23,670 --> 00:24:28,758
She just opened her blouse, took off her
bra, and wham-- plopped it right down.
420
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,429
[clears throat]
What happened next, sir?
421
00:24:32,512 --> 00:24:34,264
Well, I'm not proud
of what happened next.
422
00:24:34,347 --> 00:24:36,516
Just tell us, Reverend,
423
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:39,895
what happened after Mrs. Hooper
unveiled her breast to you?
424
00:24:44,274 --> 00:24:45,942
I licked it.
425
00:24:46,943 --> 00:24:48,778
Why did you do that, sir?
426
00:24:48,862 --> 00:24:51,615
Well, as I said,
I have urges, like any man.
427
00:24:51,698 --> 00:24:54,951
But unlike any man,
I had never had access.
428
00:24:55,035 --> 00:24:58,788
Truth be told, the only breasts I'd ever
seen before were in National Geographics.
429
00:24:58,872 --> 00:25:00,790
And they were
the saggy variety.
430
00:25:00,874 --> 00:25:05,962
But this one was so alive
and right before my eyes.
431
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,674
Okay, uh, you're
planning the wedding.
432
00:25:09,758 --> 00:25:12,886
The bride's breast
falls in front of you.
433
00:25:12,969 --> 00:25:17,390
And you, uh-- you lick it?
What type of a minister are you?
434
00:25:17,474 --> 00:25:19,935
-Your Honor, I'm not comfortable--
-And you?
435
00:25:20,018 --> 00:25:21,603
You keep talking about
how you're not comfortable.
436
00:25:21,686 --> 00:25:24,397
I have a lawyer over here
who can't find comfort,
437
00:25:24,481 --> 00:25:27,734
a nipple-licking minister talkin' about
saggy breasts
438
00:25:27,817 --> 00:25:29,486
he saw in National Geographic.
439
00:25:29,569 --> 00:25:33,323
Your Honor, this is wack. And we haven't
even gotten to the nymph yet.
440
00:25:33,406 --> 00:25:36,535
-Mr. Duper.
-Your defense is duress?
441
00:25:36,618 --> 00:25:38,912
-What, you just had to lick it?
-Objection.
442
00:25:38,995 --> 00:25:40,997
-Sustained.
-Wh-What were you thinking?
443
00:25:41,081 --> 00:25:44,000
-That's enough, Mr. Duper.
-God made man weak, Mr. Duper.
444
00:25:44,084 --> 00:25:48,421
God made man weak?
Don't you have rules?
445
00:25:48,505 --> 00:25:50,840
Isn't it written in
some minister's handbook,
446
00:25:50,924 --> 00:25:54,010
"Thou shalt not lick
the bride's left nipple"?
447
00:25:54,094 --> 00:25:56,012
Mr. Duper!
448
00:26:02,561 --> 00:26:04,646
-Barry Manilow?
-Uh, yeah.
449
00:26:04,729 --> 00:26:08,316
-You just see him?
-Singing to me ever since Larry left.
450
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:11,111
Now, Richard says
that I should confront him.
451
00:26:11,194 --> 00:26:13,947
Well, he's right. I had some friends
who thought their house was haunted.
452
00:26:14,030 --> 00:26:16,575
They went to some ghost specialist.
That's what they were told.
453
00:26:16,658 --> 00:26:19,160
-Confront the ghost, aggressively.
-Really?
454
00:26:19,244 --> 00:26:22,706
Mmm, ghosts are like men. Unless you're
vicious, they just keep haunting you.
455
00:26:22,789 --> 00:26:25,542
-Uh, Ally? Larry's on two.
-Oh. Um--
456
00:26:27,210 --> 00:26:29,879
Well, g-- good. Tell him that, um,
I'll be right there.
457
00:26:29,963 --> 00:26:32,048
[bell dings]
458
00:26:32,132 --> 00:26:34,259
-[screams]
-[gasps]
459
00:26:46,813 --> 00:26:48,189
John?
460
00:26:48,940 --> 00:26:51,192
May I speak with you?
461
00:26:54,988 --> 00:26:56,406
Upright?
462
00:27:12,839 --> 00:27:13,965
Wow.
463
00:27:15,175 --> 00:27:18,094
-You know, I do gymnastics too.
-You do?
464
00:27:18,178 --> 00:27:20,639
Yet another thing
we have in c-c--
465
00:27:21,681 --> 00:27:24,851
[exhales]
Richard, could you excuse us?
466
00:27:24,934 --> 00:27:27,228
Uh, I would,
but I can't get down.
467
00:27:30,190 --> 00:27:32,776
Oh. Ow, ow.
468
00:27:32,859 --> 00:27:34,569
[grunting]
Ow.
469
00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:38,907
Ah. Ow. Oh!
[screams]
470
00:27:39,407 --> 00:27:42,327
-[chuckles] Funny.
-[zipper zips]
471
00:27:44,162 --> 00:27:45,705
[door opens]
472
00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:47,666
[door closes]
473
00:27:50,835 --> 00:27:54,923
Look, I-I met somebody who tics and
stutters and-- and likes gymnastics...
474
00:27:55,006 --> 00:27:56,925
and small tiny spaces...
475
00:27:57,008 --> 00:27:58,593
and Barry Manilow.
476
00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:01,304
-But?
-But the longer people are together,
477
00:28:01,388 --> 00:28:03,556
the more they discover
all their differences, John.
478
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:06,351
And eventually those differences outnumber
the things that they have in common.
479
00:28:06,434 --> 00:28:09,062
Since the things they have in common have
long since been celebrated,
480
00:28:09,145 --> 00:28:11,773
it's the differences
that-that--
481
00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:16,403
The most alone people I know are married.
Some happily.
482
00:28:19,656 --> 00:28:21,658
I don't even know
how to respond to that...
483
00:28:21,741 --> 00:28:24,411
other than to say,
how ridiculous.
484
00:28:24,911 --> 00:28:27,831
Given the complex nature
of the human being,
485
00:28:27,914 --> 00:28:29,833
the-the human psyche,
486
00:28:29,916 --> 00:28:33,169
a person could spend a lifetime
discovering who he himself is,
487
00:28:33,253 --> 00:28:34,838
let alone who others are.
488
00:28:35,463 --> 00:28:36,965
Given the capacity for change,
489
00:28:37,048 --> 00:28:40,468
the capacity for love to grow,
to nurture change?
490
00:28:40,552 --> 00:28:43,096
Given how every single
little equation of love...
491
00:28:43,179 --> 00:28:45,515
is infinitely compounded
when two people come together.
492
00:28:45,598 --> 00:28:48,101
I mean, the idea that discovery,
493
00:28:48,184 --> 00:28:50,979
whether it be of commonalities
or differences, could be finite.
494
00:28:51,062 --> 00:28:55,692
I find that utterly devoid
of logic, not to mention hope.
495
00:28:56,943 --> 00:28:57,986
Wow.
496
00:28:59,195 --> 00:29:01,656
That's a lot from somebody
who didn't know how to respond.
497
00:29:02,073 --> 00:29:05,243
You know, Melanie,
we're at the beginning,
498
00:29:05,326 --> 00:29:08,580
and the only thing you can feel
is that all things must end.
499
00:29:09,622 --> 00:29:11,875
-That is not what I'm saying.
-Oh, it is.
500
00:29:11,958 --> 00:29:13,835
-Poop.
-Poop yourself.
501
00:29:17,881 --> 00:29:20,133
If you want to
turn me down, do it.
502
00:29:20,216 --> 00:29:23,219
If you want to condemn
the institution of marriage, fine.
503
00:29:23,303 --> 00:29:26,097
But please,
for your own sake,
504
00:29:26,765 --> 00:29:29,184
don't reject the idea...
505
00:29:29,267 --> 00:29:31,853
that somehow, someplace,
506
00:29:32,937 --> 00:29:35,690
two people can make it work...
507
00:29:35,774 --> 00:29:37,859
and be happy in the process.
508
00:29:38,943 --> 00:29:40,987
I've just never seen it.
509
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:51,289
Oh! Whoa.
Sorry, Richard.
510
00:29:51,372 --> 00:29:54,709
-[toilet flushing]
-I don't wanna talk about it.
511
00:29:59,047 --> 00:30:01,132
Hi. Nelle Porter.
We haven't officially met.
512
00:30:01,216 --> 00:30:02,342
Uh, Jackson Duper.
513
00:30:02,425 --> 00:30:04,719
-You're-You're in the men's bathroom.
-It's a unisex.
514
00:30:04,803 --> 00:30:07,430
-It's a what?
-We all go together here.
515
00:30:11,434 --> 00:30:13,770
[flushing]
516
00:30:14,437 --> 00:30:16,231
I like a fresh bowl.
517
00:30:19,108 --> 00:30:20,777
Hello again.
518
00:30:21,152 --> 00:30:22,904
-[beeps]
-[whirring]
519
00:30:27,700 --> 00:30:28,952
Oh.
520
00:30:34,123 --> 00:30:37,210
-Sorry.
-[barks, whoops, squeals]
521
00:30:54,769 --> 00:30:57,063
I wasn't really in control.
522
00:30:57,146 --> 00:31:00,817
I get this urge for gratification,
and it overwhelms me.
523
00:31:00,900 --> 00:31:03,486
I was as shocked as anybody
when he started licking.
524
00:31:04,112 --> 00:31:08,408
The question I have: Did this affliction
prevent you from loving Mr. Hooper?
525
00:31:08,491 --> 00:31:11,953
Absolutely not.
This was not fraud.
526
00:31:12,036 --> 00:31:14,581
When I walked down
that aisle, I loved him.
527
00:31:14,664 --> 00:31:16,958
I intended to spend
the rest of my life with him,
528
00:31:17,041 --> 00:31:19,252
as... I would still like to do.
529
00:31:19,961 --> 00:31:21,421
Thank you, Mrs. Hooper.
530
00:31:23,506 --> 00:31:25,341
As you planned
to marry my client,
531
00:31:25,425 --> 00:31:29,971
as you shared the mutual intent of
spending the rest of your life with him,
532
00:31:30,054 --> 00:31:33,725
did it ever occur to you to say, "By the
way, honey, I'm a nymphomaniac"?
533
00:31:34,100 --> 00:31:36,519
-Perhaps in hindsight.
-And this isn't fraud?
534
00:31:36,603 --> 00:31:38,980
I was afraid if he knew,
he wouldn't marry me.
535
00:31:39,063 --> 00:31:41,524
-Well, gee, whatever made you think that?
-Objection.
536
00:31:41,608 --> 00:31:43,776
I don't understand.
How could you not tell him?
537
00:31:43,860 --> 00:31:46,863
-You have a medical problem.
-I was afraid he would judge me.
538
00:31:46,946 --> 00:31:50,116
Well, perhaps he'd approve.
Did that ever occur to you?
539
00:31:50,199 --> 00:31:52,410
-Reverend Compton did.
-I'm not comfortable--
540
00:31:52,493 --> 00:31:54,704
You're actually here
because you want alimony.
541
00:31:54,787 --> 00:31:56,748
You don't have the integrity
to just walk away.
542
00:31:56,831 --> 00:31:59,125
You've destroyed this man.
Now you want his money?
543
00:31:59,208 --> 00:32:01,544
What diagnosis do you have
to defend your indecency?
544
00:32:01,628 --> 00:32:03,630
Your Honor, this is badgering now.
It must stop.
545
00:32:03,713 --> 00:32:07,216
Well, your client was quite
the little badger, now, wasn't he?
546
00:32:07,300 --> 00:32:10,219
-I'm again not comfortable.
-All right, Mr. Duper.
547
00:32:10,303 --> 00:32:14,390
Yes, I was unfaithful. Infidelity does not
annul a marriage, Mr. Duper.
548
00:32:14,474 --> 00:32:17,936
Infidelity? Your marriage
lasted three years, ma'am.
549
00:32:18,019 --> 00:32:20,063
You were unfaithful
a hundred and six times.
550
00:32:20,146 --> 00:32:21,522
It's a sickness!
551
00:32:29,113 --> 00:32:31,240
[pigeon cooing]
552
00:32:31,324 --> 00:32:33,743
[Melanie] John?
John, I know you're in there.
553
00:32:33,826 --> 00:32:34,994
Let me in.
554
00:32:35,828 --> 00:32:38,539
John, let me in before somebody else
comes in here!
555
00:32:38,957 --> 00:32:39,999
[beeps]
556
00:32:50,093 --> 00:32:51,761
Do you still want
to get married?
557
00:32:52,845 --> 00:32:55,181
Melanie, I don't want to be
engaged to a person
558
00:32:55,264 --> 00:32:57,558
who can't conceive
of happily ever after.
559
00:32:58,184 --> 00:32:59,978
I'm willin' to work on it.
560
00:33:01,646 --> 00:33:04,691
-If ever there was a man--
-Well, uh, that's not enough.
561
00:33:04,774 --> 00:33:08,695
-I mean, you have to believe.
-Well, I said I'm willin' to work on it.
562
00:33:10,947 --> 00:33:12,156
Hey.
563
00:33:13,199 --> 00:33:18,496
I never believed that I would find
somebody to love for a year,
564
00:33:19,622 --> 00:33:21,582
much less a...
565
00:33:27,296 --> 00:33:29,632
Can we continue
our courtship?
566
00:33:32,135 --> 00:33:35,096
-I have a surprise for you.
-What?
567
00:33:35,179 --> 00:33:36,973
Well, I can't
give it to you in here.
568
00:33:38,224 --> 00:33:39,892
John.
569
00:33:42,854 --> 00:33:44,522
I love you.
570
00:33:45,314 --> 00:33:50,028
I'm willing to compound that equation
with nurturing infinites...
571
00:33:50,111 --> 00:33:54,574
or, um, you know, that--
572
00:33:54,657 --> 00:33:56,659
all that stuff that you said.
573
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:00,997
Did I mention that I love you?
574
00:34:08,421 --> 00:34:11,674
I am embarrassed to have pulled you away
from your busy lives,
575
00:34:11,758 --> 00:34:13,134
'cause this here is ridiculous.
576
00:34:13,217 --> 00:34:15,970
We have a nymphomaniac
who's holding out for alimony...
577
00:34:16,054 --> 00:34:17,805
after having slept with--
578
00:34:17,889 --> 00:34:20,266
-How many?
-A hundred and six.
579
00:34:20,349 --> 00:34:24,020
We have a reverend who claims to have
slept with the nymph under duress,
580
00:34:24,103 --> 00:34:28,232
which reverend is being sued by the
wounded husband for emotional distress.
581
00:34:28,316 --> 00:34:31,652
This is silly. And I'm sorry
for taking up your time.
582
00:34:31,736 --> 00:34:35,364
I won't take up any more of it except to
say that you know what you know.
583
00:34:35,448 --> 00:34:37,533
There never was a marriage here.
584
00:34:37,617 --> 00:34:42,622
My client never knew he was saying "I do"
to a compulsive sexaholic.
585
00:34:43,247 --> 00:34:45,041
There was no meeting
of the minds.
586
00:34:45,124 --> 00:34:48,002
Just annul the thing
and let that be that.
587
00:34:48,711 --> 00:34:50,546
Why isn't there a marriage?
588
00:34:51,130 --> 00:34:55,218
They took vows for better or worse.
589
00:34:55,301 --> 00:34:57,470
Granted, nymphomania
would be "worse."
590
00:34:57,553 --> 00:35:00,890
But that is what
a marital union is about--
591
00:35:00,973 --> 00:35:05,061
accepting your spouse for strengths
as well as flaws.
592
00:35:06,270 --> 00:35:08,981
Since she is
a nymphomaniac...
593
00:35:09,065 --> 00:35:11,734
and all sides
are agreeing that she is,
594
00:35:11,818 --> 00:35:15,863
how can you really hold the reverend
responsible for breaking up this union?
595
00:35:15,947 --> 00:35:18,116
It was going to end anyway.
596
00:35:18,199 --> 00:35:22,078
Now, this is not to defend my client's
tongue insertion into the bride's mouth...
597
00:35:22,161 --> 00:35:23,412
during the ceremony,
598
00:35:23,496 --> 00:35:27,083
nor am I condoning the extracurricular
activity with the--
599
00:35:29,210 --> 00:35:32,046
with the breast
in the planning stages.
600
00:35:32,130 --> 00:35:34,841
But the reverend didn't cause
anything to come apart...
601
00:35:34,924 --> 00:35:37,635
that wasn't destined
to break apart.
602
00:35:37,718 --> 00:35:39,137
If it is meant to break apart,
603
00:35:39,220 --> 00:35:41,514
then it probably has nothing to do
with Jackson Duper.
604
00:35:41,597 --> 00:35:43,558
Oh, you can't know that.
605
00:35:44,308 --> 00:35:46,185
What is it that you
love the most about her?
606
00:35:46,269 --> 00:35:47,979
Oh.
607
00:35:48,062 --> 00:35:50,106
Well, there-- You know,
there are so many things.
608
00:35:50,189 --> 00:35:52,525
No, no. But what is it that
you love the most?
609
00:35:52,608 --> 00:35:54,944
Well, I guess it would--
610
00:35:55,027 --> 00:35:57,446
It would have to be
her soft, smooth skin.
611
00:35:57,530 --> 00:35:58,823
Ah.
612
00:36:00,408 --> 00:36:02,618
Deep down,
what do you love about her?
613
00:36:03,536 --> 00:36:04,704
Oh.
614
00:36:05,621 --> 00:36:07,582
Deep down.
Her hair.
615
00:36:09,750 --> 00:36:13,296
Do you have a sense of what Ling
most loves about you?
616
00:36:13,379 --> 00:36:15,590
Well, I hope
it's, you know, my money.
617
00:36:15,673 --> 00:36:17,800
Mmm. Mmm. Yeah.
618
00:36:17,884 --> 00:36:21,345
Well, that seems like a pretty tough bond
for Jackson Duper to crack,
619
00:36:21,429 --> 00:36:22,597
don't you think?
620
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:24,765
Soft skin, uh, hair...
621
00:36:24,849 --> 00:36:27,768
and, um, money.
622
00:36:27,852 --> 00:36:30,146
Ally? Ally?
623
00:36:30,229 --> 00:36:33,691
You know, we're supposed to be taking care
of you this week with, uh, Larry gone.
624
00:36:33,774 --> 00:36:35,943
But yet you're taking care
of all of us.
625
00:36:36,027 --> 00:36:38,237
Larry is not gone.
626
00:36:39,071 --> 00:36:41,657
-He's in Detroit.
-Ye--
627
00:36:45,536 --> 00:36:46,704
Yeah.
628
00:36:47,747 --> 00:36:49,749
Hooper versus Hooper,
count one.
629
00:36:49,832 --> 00:36:52,627
We, the jury, find that the marriage
shall be dissolved.
630
00:36:53,085 --> 00:36:56,464
Count two,
Hooper versus Compton.
631
00:36:56,547 --> 00:36:58,591
We find in favor
of the defendant.
632
00:36:59,467 --> 00:37:02,136
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
this concludes your service.
633
00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:05,056
-Thank you. We're adjourned.
-[gavel bangs]
634
00:37:06,015 --> 00:37:08,059
Well, one out of two.
635
00:37:08,893 --> 00:37:10,770
I would have liked to have nailed
that minister.
636
00:37:10,853 --> 00:37:12,104
Your former wife did that.
637
00:37:12,188 --> 00:37:14,649
It's a good result,
Clayton.
638
00:37:14,732 --> 00:37:17,568
Yeah. Yeah, it is.
Thank you.
639
00:37:18,819 --> 00:37:20,905
-Thank you both.
-Hmm.
640
00:37:21,948 --> 00:37:23,282
Uh, Ling?
641
00:37:24,116 --> 00:37:25,618
Considering
the circumstances,
642
00:37:25,701 --> 00:37:27,995
maybe I should no longer
work at Cage & Fish.
643
00:37:28,996 --> 00:37:31,624
It won't bother me, Jackson.
Really.
644
00:37:32,333 --> 00:37:33,793
Oh. Okay.
645
00:37:33,876 --> 00:37:37,380
But you are with--
with Richard Fish, right?
646
00:37:37,463 --> 00:37:40,549
Yes. I am.
647
00:37:40,633 --> 00:37:43,094
-Okay. Cool. I'll respect that then.
-Thank you.
648
00:37:43,177 --> 00:37:45,596
Did you come to work here
because of me?
649
00:37:46,347 --> 00:37:48,224
I don't remember.
650
00:37:48,975 --> 00:37:50,184
But, Ling?
651
00:37:53,271 --> 00:37:54,855
I'm sorry.
652
00:37:57,108 --> 00:37:59,360
-I'm sorry for--
-Yeah.
653
00:37:59,443 --> 00:38:03,406
Well, to your first victory
at Cage & Fish.
654
00:38:07,785 --> 00:38:10,413
And my first defeat.
655
00:38:10,496 --> 00:38:13,916
-[rhythmic clapping]
-♪♪ [pop music]
656
00:38:17,003 --> 00:38:19,380
-[woman] Yeah!
-[man whooping]
657
00:38:21,257 --> 00:38:23,592
-What's going on?
-It's thrilling! It's thrilling!
658
00:38:23,676 --> 00:38:24,510
Sit down!
659
00:38:24,593 --> 00:38:26,679
-Why's the stage dark?
-It's coming.
660
00:38:26,762 --> 00:38:28,681
What are you up to?
661
00:38:28,764 --> 00:38:30,725
-Do you know?
-I don't.
662
00:38:38,441 --> 00:38:41,402
[crowd cheering]
663
00:38:43,070 --> 00:38:45,698
♪ You wouldn't believewhere I've been ♪
664
00:38:45,781 --> 00:38:47,742
[squeals]
Surprise!
665
00:38:47,825 --> 00:38:50,036
♪ The cities and townsI've been in ♪
666
00:38:50,119 --> 00:38:53,622
♪ From Boston to Denverand every town in between ♪
667
00:38:53,706 --> 00:38:55,333
How did you--
668
00:38:55,416 --> 00:38:58,461
-Um, Ling helped me.
-I can do anything.
669
00:38:58,544 --> 00:39:00,129
I got Barry White.
670
00:39:00,212 --> 00:39:01,756
♪ Whoa, only the nameshave been changed ♪
671
00:39:01,839 --> 00:39:03,549
Let's dance.
672
00:39:04,550 --> 00:39:06,969
-♪ But now that I'm home again ♪
-Come on, Richard.
673
00:39:07,053 --> 00:39:09,805
♪ I'll tell you what I believe ♪
674
00:39:09,889 --> 00:39:11,974
-♪ It's a miracle ♪-♪ Miracle ♪
675
00:39:12,058 --> 00:39:13,851
♪ A true blue spectacle ♪
676
00:39:13,934 --> 00:39:17,772
-♪ A miracle come true ♪-♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪
677
00:39:17,855 --> 00:39:20,941
♪ We're together, babyI've been goin' crazy ♪
678
00:39:21,025 --> 00:39:24,320
♪ Till the miraclecame through ♪
679
00:39:24,403 --> 00:39:26,405
♪ Now you're here andmy arms are around you ♪
680
00:39:26,489 --> 00:39:28,449
This has gone far enough.
681
00:39:28,532 --> 00:39:29,617
Ally.
682
00:39:29,700 --> 00:39:30,993
♪ Baby, they'll be dancingin the street ♪
683
00:39:31,077 --> 00:39:33,454
-Ally?
-I'm gonna knock...
684
00:39:33,537 --> 00:39:35,831
him... out.
685
00:39:35,915 --> 00:39:38,209
♪ The miracle is you ♪
686
00:39:40,002 --> 00:39:42,296
♪ Hoo-hoo-hoo, hoo ♪
687
00:39:44,256 --> 00:39:45,341
[gasps]
688
00:39:49,929 --> 00:39:53,974
Well, uh-- Ooh.
Oh. Oh, oopsie.
689
00:39:54,058 --> 00:39:56,727
Um, are-are you for real?
690
00:39:56,811 --> 00:40:00,773
Are you? Lady, you want the mike
that badly, ask for it. Here.
691
00:40:00,856 --> 00:40:02,983
-Oh.
-Come on, let's go.
692
00:40:03,067 --> 00:40:07,488
One, two, three, go! Come on!
Show us what you got!
693
00:40:07,571 --> 00:40:09,865
-Come on. They're waiting!
-I really don't want to sing.
694
00:40:09,949 --> 00:40:13,577
No, I don't. No.
Really, no. No, I can't.
695
00:40:16,580 --> 00:40:19,792
-[laughing]
-[cheering]
696
00:40:19,875 --> 00:40:23,546
♪ I almost forgotwhat it's like ♪
697
00:40:23,629 --> 00:40:26,841
♪ Holdin' you near meat night ♪
698
00:40:26,924 --> 00:40:29,468
♪ But now that I'm home again ♪
699
00:40:29,552 --> 00:40:34,181
-♪ You know that I'm home to stay ♪-♪ 'Cause it's a miracle ♪
700
00:40:34,265 --> 00:40:36,684
-♪ Miracle ♪-♪ A true blue spectacle ♪
701
00:40:36,767 --> 00:40:39,979
-♪ A miracle come true ♪-♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
702
00:40:40,062 --> 00:40:43,607
♪ We're together, babyI was goin' crazy ♪
703
00:40:43,691 --> 00:40:47,027
-♪ Till the miracle came through ♪-♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪
704
00:40:47,111 --> 00:40:49,989
♪ Now you're hereand I'm feelin' so good ♪
705
00:40:50,072 --> 00:40:53,242
♪ Baby, they'll bedancin' in the street ♪
706
00:40:53,325 --> 00:40:56,579
-♪ Everybody's gonna be dancin' ♪-♪ Dancin' in the street ♪
707
00:40:56,662 --> 00:41:01,333
♪ Dancin'Dancin' in the street ♪
708
00:41:01,417 --> 00:41:03,043
♪ For the miracle ♪♪
709
00:41:03,127 --> 00:41:05,379
-Well, I thought that he was a ghost.
-[Larry] A ghost?
710
00:41:05,463 --> 00:41:09,425
Yes, a ghost. So, I went up to the bar
and the next thing I know,
711
00:41:09,508 --> 00:41:12,136
I was singing "It's A Miracle"
with Barry Manilow.
712
00:41:12,219 --> 00:41:14,889
Really? Wow. I wishI could have been there.
713
00:41:14,972 --> 00:41:18,893
Ah. Yeah, I wish you could
have been there too.
714
00:41:18,976 --> 00:41:22,480
-Did he hit on you?
-No, he did not hit on me.
715
00:41:22,563 --> 00:41:23,856
He was a perfect gentleman.
716
00:41:23,939 --> 00:41:27,067
I mean, you know, considering
that he could have had me arrested.
717
00:41:27,151 --> 00:41:31,780
-[laughing]
-Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
718
00:41:31,864 --> 00:41:34,450
-Okay. I love you.
-Oh?
719
00:41:34,533 --> 00:41:35,701
I do.
720
00:41:37,453 --> 00:41:39,205
-Night.
-Night.
721
00:41:40,706 --> 00:41:42,333
-Bye.
-Bye.
722
00:41:44,460 --> 00:41:45,961
What'd he say?
723
00:41:48,631 --> 00:41:53,135
[sighs] Um-- You know, he, uh-- he--
he couldn't believe it.
724
00:41:53,219 --> 00:41:57,139
He laughed. You know, it's-it's,
uh-- it's funny.
725
00:41:59,850 --> 00:42:03,979
-Is it harder than you thought?
-Well, yeah.
726
00:42:05,064 --> 00:42:07,358
-Well--
-I've got you.
727
00:42:08,359 --> 00:42:11,237
That's all I need.
Thank you.
728
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:14,073
I'd rather be
with Jackson Duper.
729
00:42:14,156 --> 00:42:17,076
You bide your time,
Renee.
730
00:42:18,494 --> 00:42:20,412
Goin' to bed.
[clears throat]
731
00:42:30,881 --> 00:42:36,345
[Vonda] ♪ Sometimes good-byesare not forever ♪
732
00:42:37,763 --> 00:42:42,726
♪ It doesn't matterif you're gone ♪
733
00:42:42,810 --> 00:42:47,106
♪ I still believein us together ♪
734
00:42:49,358 --> 00:42:52,319
♪ I understand ♪
735
00:42:52,403 --> 00:42:55,447
♪ More than you think I can ♪
736
00:42:56,532 --> 00:43:00,244
♪ You have to go outon your own ♪
737
00:43:00,327 --> 00:43:04,832
♪ So you can findyour way back home ♪
738
00:43:07,209 --> 00:43:10,796
♪ But somewhere down the road ♪
739
00:43:10,879 --> 00:43:14,758
♪ Our roadsare gonna cross again ♪
740
00:43:14,842 --> 00:43:18,846
♪ It doesn'treally matter when ♪
741
00:43:18,929 --> 00:43:22,683
♪ But somewheredown the road ♪
742
00:43:22,766 --> 00:43:29,023
♪ I know that heart of yourswill come to see ♪
743
00:43:30,316 --> 00:43:35,946
♪ That you belong ♪
744
00:43:36,030 --> 00:43:39,366
♪ With me ♪♪
745
00:44:18,405 --> 00:44:19,782
{\an8}[woman]
You stinker!
59389
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