All language subtitles for Ally.McBeal.S04E12.2000.Disney+.WEB-DL.1080p.H264.AAC-HDCTV_track6_[eng]

Previously on Ally McBeal.

I have a son. What?

You're Sam Adams? Hello.

Isn't this, uh, salsa?
You're actually very good.

Am I? Yeah.

I'm really a man.

Talk about a woman with stones of her own.

♪♪ Mr. Big Stuff ♪♪

As flaws go... she has a penis!

I'm influenced by the way others see us.

Well, then let's
just be adults about this.

Good-bye, Mark.

Ally, when you do have a child,

no matter how much you think
you're prepared for it,

you'll be stunned by the capacity
you have to love somebody.

[ Vonda ] ♪♪ When a man loves a woman ♪♪

♪♪ He can't keep his mind
on nothin' else ♪♪♪♪

[ Vonda ] ♪♪ Ain't it funny how
you're walking through life ♪♪

♪♪ And it turns on a dime ♪♪♪♪

[ Vonda ] ♪♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪♪♪♪

[ Grunts, Exhales ]

Oh, that's really--
that's really nice, Larry.

Really nice. Really, really,
really nice, you pig!

[ Grunts ] Uh, what?

No, you just-- You never mind "what."

You left me with a note.

You couldn't even be a man
about it, could ya? Pig, pig, pig!

Ally, what--

No, no, no, no. You shush. Now, I--

I had a dream that you left me,
and I didn't like the way you did it.

Okay.

Well, Ally, it was a dream.

Well, I don't care, okay?
Because it felt real.

So-- So, shush! Don't you talk to me.

I'm gonna go back to sleep, I'm
gonna find you in my dream,

and I'm gonna deal
with you there.

Give me the blanket!

♪♪ I've been down down, down ♪♪

♪♪ I've been down this road ♪♪

♪♪ Walkin' the line
that's painted by pride ♪♪

♪♪ And I have made mistakes in my life ♪♪

♪♪ That I just can't hide ♪♪

♪♪ Oh, I believe I am ready ♪♪

♪♪ For what love has to bring Yeah ♪♪

♪♪ I got myself together, yeah ♪♪

♪♪ Now I'm ready to sing ♪♪

♪♪ I've been searching my soul tonight ♪♪

♪♪ I know there's so much more to life ♪♪

♪♪ Now I know I can shine a light ♪♪

♪♪ To find my way back home ♪♪

♪♪ Oh ♪♪ ♪♪ Hoo, hoo ♪♪

♪♪ Baby, yeah ♪♪

♪♪ Hoo, hoo ♪♪ ♪♪ Oh, yeah ♪♪♪♪

Okay. First up, Sam Adams, intellectual--

Now what's this? We don't do intellectual
work here.

Intellectual property law.

Our client, Sam Adams,

had some dance moves
appropriated by a former partner.

There's an upcoming ballroom
competition

and he wants to
enjoin her from using them.

Can you do that,
claim ownership on a dance move?

Well, Marcel Marceau copyrighted his mime.

It's not a big leap to say that
protection should be extended to dance.

So, you and Sam Adams are still in touch?

I'm just on this case, Ling. Doing him--

Do-- Doing his case.

Doing his glutes. That's what she's
probably... doin'.

I apologize. I didn't realize
I was audible.

Melanie's out of town. He's feeling horny.

I said "ornery." Just--
Let's move along, Richard.

Uh, Richard? Cindy McCauliff
is here to see you.

Why? What did I do now?

You haven't done anything.
I want to do something.

Oh, what? What? I want to get married.

Oh. Oh!

Well, that's-- that's great.

You found somebody to
love you? All of you?

Yes. Uh, and he's a wonderful man.

Unfortunately, the commonwealth
considers me

to be
a wonderful man as well.

We can't get the wedding license.
[ Bangs Desk ]

Oh, uh-- So, I want to go to court
and challenge it.

And I'd like you to represent us.
Me? Really? Why?

Because you're a lawyer. Well--

I need someone with a firm grasp
of the bigotry we're gonna be facing.

You sprang to mind.

Oh, well, thank you. Uh, but, uh--

Well, could I bring in a second chair?

I'm not always
up to speed on the law.

-It's so boring.
-Are you current on your homophobia?

Hey. Scout's honor. Or, well--

[ Elevator Bell Dings ]

Ally. Hey. Everything all right?

Fine.

[ Sighs, Muttering ]

- [ Gasps ]
- Uh, Ms. McBeal?

Uh-huh. Sorry to bother you.

I-- I need a lawyer.

Well, uh, how did you get in here?

- I kinda snuck by your secretary.
- Mmm.

I am very sneaky. Will you be my lawyer?

Well, um-- Well, um--

Well, first of all, uh, who are you?

And second of all,
um, why do you need a lawyer?

Well, I want to sue my parents
for emotional distress.

Oh.

Well, what did they do?

They split up.

Okay. There's this new book
that talks all about...

how kids get emotionally damaged for life
when their parents break up.

I see. And, uh, did you read this book?

No, I heard about it. And I also know...

there's this legal thing
called a third party "beneficie."

Oh, right. Uh, beneficiary.

I'm not sure what it means,
but the law's kind of like,

if two people make an agreement that helps
a third person,

that third person has some rights.

I'm the third person.

Wow. Well, it sounds like
you could be a lawyer yourself.

Well, my dad's one. Ah, really? And, uh,
what-what's your name?

Sam. Sam Paul.

Sam Paul.

Sam-- Sam Paul. Sam Paul?

[ Arguing In Spanish ]

All right! All right!

- It's salsa. Salsa.
- [ Both Arguing In Spanish ]

Come on, you guys. Okay--

- You guys--
- [ Yelling In Spanish ]

- You want to ride a little pony?
- I apologize.

It's the only Spanish I know. I learned it
from a nanny. Let's just--

Ms. Cortez, do you really deny
that Mr. Adams taught you these moves?

- Of course I deny it.
- [ Spanish ]

Please?

Look, I don't have to listen to this.
You can't stop me.

And you won't. And I can do whatever
moves I choose.

I'm afraid that's not true, Ms. Cortez.

A court might very well enjoin
you from doing these maneuvers.

Then I guess I will see you in court,
Ms. Porter.

And by the way, you're a fool.

Well, we don't need to get personal here.

Oh, I think things have already
turned a little personal, haven't they?

Trust me. You're a fool.

How did you even get here?

Airplane. Airplane? Airplane? Airplane!

Big steel thing with wings. Flies. Yeah.

I'm familiar with the concept.
How did you get on one?

Uh, I bought a ticket on the computer.

You can even do your own seat assignment.

I took a cab, got on board and took off.

Does your mother know you're here?
Dad, if Mom knew,

wouldn't you suppose
she would have called you?

I called her already. I was afraid that
she would be panicked.

Sammy, why-- I mean--

Why'd you come?

To sue you.

To sue me?

Mmm. Mmm. For emotional distress.

And he would also like treble damages
and attorney fees.

[ Exhales ] Okay, Sammy, buddy, uh--

[ Sighs ] It's okay.

It's not okay. Mom says it is.

Every night she comes in and tucks me in
and says everything's okay.

How you and her are good friends.

How everything's better this way.
But it's not better.

She goes in her room and she cries.

I hear it.

I cry, too, Dad.

I know I'm supposed to be a big boy,
and I shouldn't cry,

and I'm supposed to be strong,

but I can't help it.

It just hurts too much.

So, um--

[ Cleaning Glasses ]

You're suing me?

I think it's time for you to cry.

They're probably having one
of their big fights.

Why do you say that?

Well, he didn't have
to call on his cell phone.

He has a phone right there.

They just don't want me to hear.

Well-- I expected you to be younger.

Sorry? Than my mom.

They say fathers end up with women younger
than the mothers.

But you seem way older than her.
Hmph. Well, you know--

What are you, 50?

I-- Well, no, I'm not-not--

Do you love my father?

Very much. And he loves you?

Well-- Do you have kids?

No. Is your biological clock
all ticked out?

My question is, can a judge even overrule
the legislature on same-sex unions?

Well, they can if they think the law is,
uh, you know,

against the, uh--what is it?

- Constitution.
- Yes, that.

They can declare
the law null and Freud.

Void.

This will be a long shot.
You do know that?

Well, isn't the law changing?

Vermont now recognizes
same-sex partnerships.

Massachusetts--
Well, that's very different.

- Why?
- You have to understand,

even homophobes like me
endorsed same-sex unions in Vermont.

- Why?
- We want all the gays to move there.

- Really?
- Yes. If they're going to, uh--

Better in thick, wooded
areas where, you know--

Did you think I was kidding?
He gets worse.

- Then why are you choosing him to--
- He won my last case.

- I figure if we can convert him--
- Exactly.

Convert me into what? What?

I don't deny that I discovered
the move while dancing with Inez.

- But it was I who discovered them.
- She says you were a team.

So were Simon and Garfunkel.
We know which one wrote the music.

All right, but that's music.
This is dance.

And like the expression goes,
"It takes two to tango."

Yes. And it takes two to make love.

That doesn't mean one can't be
teaching a little as he goes.

- [ Groans ]
- Uh, yes.

Uh, why does it really
matter if she makes love--

uh, dances the way she once did with you?

Because it's a competition.
The national championship.

And if she and
her new partner use my style,

perform my moves,

then my dance becomes less original.

Even if I perform better,
I will still lose.

You're talking about the mamba,
the salsa-- standardized dances.

Songs use standardized notes.

That doesn't mean the music
can't be original.

The art of dance,
just like the art of song,

the art of making love,
it's about weaving together...

new forms of expression
from your heart, your soul.

You keep liking it to making love.

In fact, you and Ms. Cortez
were more than just dance partners.

You were lovers.

Correct? Correct.

Objection!

Withdrawn.

[ Attorney ] Ever come up
with a new dance move

while you were making love?

There was one, yes. So, you're in here
trying to stop her...

from employing a move
in her dance routine...

that was actually discovered
in a lovemaking session?

Correct.

So, I guess when it
comes to making love even,

you weren't equal partners, in your mind--
you were the teacher.

Very much. And she knows it.

Don't you think it would be helpful
to know she's an ex-lover?

Why? Why? You slept with her.

- John, isn't that relevant?
- Terrible.

Are you upset as my lawyer, or as a woman
who has also slept with me?

[ Nose Whistles ]

I'm talking about the sex--
the-- the case.

John, would you excuse us?

With pleasure.

So, when she, uh, called me
a fool, it's because she, uh-- Nelle--

It's a little difficult to enjoin her

from using a move
you two discovered in bed.

Why? Shouldn't the act of making love...

be able to be as privileged
as a lawyer/client communication?

Well, that isn't the law.

Maybe... you shouldn't be
the lawyer to do this.

No, I-- I can do it.

I'm fine.

[ Elevator Bell Dings ]

[ Larry ] Excuse me, madam.

I'd like to sue the people
who made this bicycle.

[ Clears Throat ] They left out a wheel.

Ms. McBeal, we have
another angry unicyclist.

Are you available?

Another angry what? [ Gasps ]

[ Larry ] Excuse me, madam.

When they said "half price,"
I should have known.

Now wait a minute. Hey,
you guys be careful there.

Whoa!

- No, no. No, no. Larry?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Whoa! Whoa!
- [ Larry ] Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[ Thud ] Oh. Oh.

- Oh.
- Ah.

- [ Laughs ]
- Ha! Did we get you?

Yes. You got me. So how did
you learn how to do that?

My dad's a circus act.
Don't you know that?

Oh. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, actually, I do know that.

Um, Sam is gonna stay
with me for a day or two.

He came to see my life. Hmm.

That's great.
No, I mean, it-it's terrific.

Do you mind? Do I mind?

- Of course I don't mind. It's-It's--
- Terrific.

Yes. Great. Okay, buddy.

We're off to court. You can help me
juggle my caseload.

[ Laughs ] Ah, Larry.

So, when am I gonna see you again?

What are you talkin' about?
We're sleepin' at your place. You are?

Yeah. I mean, you know,

he came to see my life.

Buddy?

Mark. Hello.

Hi. Gettin' married, huh?

I'm trying to.

As soon as I shake off
the stigma that goes with havin' a penis.

Yeah.
That was kind of a joke.

Oh. Ha-ha.

Tell me about the lucky guy.

Uh, well, he has a lot to offer.

And he loves everything
that I have to offer.

Great. You two should be very happy then.

Who are you kidding?
Coming to this law firm, Cindy?

Richard Fish is
the best attorney you know?

Richard Fish won my last case, yes.
He did quite well.

Why, do you think I'm here because of you?

I have no idea. But if
you're marrying one man

to make another one jealous--

I'm marrying one man because I love him.
The other man is a bigot.

Why? 'Cause he can't
get past you being a guy?

Do you love him?
Yes, I do.

I find the odds of that
to be astronomical.

That you could find a man
out there who could love you...

is a needle in the most enormous
of haystacks.

That it would turn out
that you would also love him.

Maybe his willingness to love me
is reason enough for me to love him.

Things can work out that way.

I don't know. You certainly don't.

♪♪♪♪ [ Salsa ]

[ People Cheering ]
♪♪♪♪ [ Band Singing In Spanish ]

Boom, boom! ♪♪♪♪ [ Singing In Spanish ]

Boom, boom! ♪♪♪♪ [ Spanish ]

Boom, boom! ♪♪♪♪ [ Spanish ]

Boom, boom! ♪♪♪♪ [ Spanish ]

♪♪♪♪ [ Continues In Spanish ]

Do you think she could be falling for him?
He is a salsa dancer.

Well, she fell for a murderer.
But at least he was a doctor.

When I do my Tom Jones thing,
I kinda look like that, don't I?

♪♪♪♪ [ Continues In Spanish ]

You know what, Richard? Exactly.

Boom, boom! ♪♪♪♪ [ Spanish ]

Boom, boom! ♪♪♪♪ [ Spanish ]

Boom, boom! ♪♪♪♪ [ Spanish ]

Boom, boom! ♪♪♪♪ [ Spanish ]

He is pretty hot.

Boom, boom! ♪♪♪♪ [ Spanish ]

Boom, boom! ♪♪♪♪ [ Spanish ]

Hmm. Hmm. Ha. Hmm. Hmm. Mmm! Mmm.

Do you know, uh, this one? Let's see, uh--

♪♪♪♪ [ Piano ] ♪♪ Puff the magic dragon
lived ♪♪

Don't sing that one. Why?

It's sad.

"Puff the Magic Dragon" is sad?

♪♪♪♪ [ Piano ] ♪♪ One gray night
it happened ♪♪

♪♪ Jackie Paper came no more ♪♪

♪♪ And Puff that mighty dragon ♪♪

♪♪ He ceased his fearless roar ♪♪♪♪

Do you miss him? Puff?

Your dad.

Yeah. Do you think he'll ever come back?

Well, uh, Sam, he just went out
to get some ice cream.

I mean home. Oh.

Well, I-I-- I think that

you'll probably have to talk
to him about that.

[ Sam ] He doesn't talk about
stuff like that.

Why not? I don't know. He just can't.

Well, do you talk to him
about your feelings?

He doesn't do stuff like that.
He likes to pretend nothing's ever wrong.

Mmm. I-I-I don't-- I don't know.

Remember when I told him how I cry?

Yeah.

He's already found a way to forget that.
That's what he does.

We'd dance in the studio.
We'd get... I guess a little worked-up.

- And the moves would evolve.

- It's his contention
they evolved from him.

And that is just his male chauvinist
arrogance.

I am just as entitled
to claim ownership as he is.

Ms. Cortez, why did you stop
being Mr. Adams's partner?

I stopped because it was too destructive.

Can you explain that? Sam Adams...

uses his personal relationships
to generate creative spark.

And when our relationship
"normalized" or "plateaued"

to an even keel,
he felt creatively blocked.

So he would break up to
generate want.

That is where
his inspiration comes from.

- Objection!
- Overruled.

He likes it better

if there's something forbidden
about his partner.

Places he shouldn't run
his hands or slide his legs.

This is so far off the point,
Your Honor.

The issue here is,
did she steal his dance moves?

And I still have no idea what moves
we're talking about.

Do they have names? No. Because we
invented them.

I invented them. You stole them!

[ Both Arguing In Spanish ]

Ms. Cortez! Mr. Adams!

I will hold you both in contempt
unless you're quiet!

[ Yelling In Spanish ]

Mr. Cage, my Spanish is limited,
but I believe you just asked for a cookie.

I apologize. I--

Look, I want to see
a sample of this dancing...

so I can understand what
the hell you're talking about.

Do you think you two could
just give me a demonstration without...

biting each other's heads off?

[ Knocks ]

- Hello.
- Hey. Where's Sam?

Oh, he's back in my, uh, uh--
Elaine's got him.

They're doin', uh, uh--
Uh, wait. He's back at your... what?

I was gonna make a joke.
I guess I-- I, uh, couldn't.

That doesn't happen to me very often.

You okay?

Yeah.

Just, uh--

I've been talkin' to his teacher.

He's been gettin'
into a lot of fights.

Well, he's struggling a little, I guess,
you know?

Gee, I wonder what it could be.

Well, he's an incredible kid.

Isn't he? I told you,
he's the most-- He's, uh--

[ Chuckles ] He's incredible.

With an amazing father.

I, um-- I don't know what to do, Ally.

I mean, obviously,
he's hurting... at school.

And that's not all of it. Well--

Larry, you need to go to Detroit.

Be it a month, be it a year.

I--

You can't take him away from his mother,
and he needs his father.

Now, I may be saying something that's not
occurring to you,

but I'm not telling you
anything that you don't know.

You gotta go to Detroit.

Your Honor, I read that Constitution.

I read the Preamble,
the post-amble, the amendments.

Phew! I read it all.

Oh. And nothing in it-- nothing--

says marriage has to be
between a man and a woman.

[ Attorney ] Congress passed the
Defense of Marriage Act.

Maybe Mr. Fish missed that

while so immersed
in the Constitution.

Oh, yes, Congress.

Well, I don't think the court
should question Congress.

I didn't know Congress was against it.

By the way, Congress once said
blacks couldn't marry whites.

Love that Congress.

- Can I finish?
- Sex offenders can marry. Murderers.

Cannibals can take the vows.
But whoa, whoa!

Two gay people?
There's goes the sanctity.

Look, Your Honor,
I read the Book of Virtues. I get it.

And I'll stand up and
defend every person's right

to be an indefensible bigot.

I'm one. But let's at least be honest.

This is bigotry.
Blatant.

It's a government trying
to impose its own sense of morality.

This is exactly what happens
when you have politicians...

who start conforming their views to what
the people think.

Because let's face it.

As for the people in this country,
too many redneck, inbred idiots.

Where else do people
take high-powered rifles

with sophisticated scopes,

walk into the woods, blow the
head off a deer and go "sport!"

Mr. Fish.

He's going to keep talking until you
declare him a winner.

I've seen this.

- Don't fall for this torture.
- Move for cause, Judge.

All right. I've heard enough.

Actually, Your Honor,
could I have a second?

And who the hell are you?

I'm Mark Albert. I'm with Mr. Fish's firm.

Whether or not you support
same-sex marriages or not,

the point is being missed here.

Which is? Sitting next to
Mr. Kattleman is... a woman.

I don't care what
her birth certificate reads.

Oh, and I suppose if she wanted to enter
the Olympics as a woman--

She's not looking to throw a javelin.
She just wants to get married.

Your Honor, I've dated Cindy McCauliff.

And she is one of the finest women
I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.

It's the 21st century.

We should be beyond judging
people by the color of their skin,

their "X" or "Y" chromosomes,
or their anatomical--

Why can't we just look at the person?
Simply judge the person.

Cindy McCauliff is a beautiful woman
who wants to get married.

The only appropriate thing for this court
or any other court to do...

is congratulate the groom.

It's not like I don't agree in theory or--

You know, but how?
My life is here. My work.

I'm not sure I can just uproot everything.

We can keep talking about it,
Larry,

but that presumes
that you have choices.

And you don't.

Your son is in Detroit and he needs you.

Now, you once said to me that...

until you have a child,

you have no idea the capacity
you have to love somebody.

I mean, you're-- you're a lot of things.

You're more... than anybody I've ever met.

You're more--

But what you are the most is a dad.

And would you come with me?

In a second.

But I think that this is
something you have to do alone.

I mean, at least initially.

Now, it's not about him
assimilating into your new life.

This is just about him needing you in his.

I will come back.

I know you will, baby.

Or you'll come to Detroit.

Or I'll come to Detroit.

Hey, this isn't how you
go about dumping guys, is it?

Get their needy kids to
visit, and then pack them both on a plane?

That's not what's happenin' here, is it?
Hey.

Hmm? Mr. Larry?

I love you.

♪♪♪♪ [ Salsa ]

[ Moans ]

♪♪♪♪ [ Ends ]

[ Knocks ]

What'd you do that for?

Because I'm an officer of the court.

And you are an extraordinary woman, Cindy.

And you want me to win?

Only if you truly want to marry him.

I do love him, Mark.

Well, that's all that matters then.

Yeah.

No court could take that away.

Well... thank you, Mark.

Sure.

It is a very sad day in my life,
in this court,

when I find myself agreeing with Mr. Fish.

But today, I do. The law against
same-sex marriages--

Well, it may not be as stupid

as blowin' the head
off a deer and calling it sport,

but it comes damn close.

However, just because
I don't like the law,

it's not up to me to substitute
my judgment for legislative intent.

Petitioner's motion is denied.

Adjourned. [ Gavel Raps ]

I'm sorry.

That's okay. Thank you for trying.

My winning streak, stopped at one. Bugger!

Thank you, Richard.

Cindy, I've always thought of myself as
the captain of my own ship.

I feel something really homophobic coming.

No, no. My firm is sort of my ship.

Though it's not technically legal,

uh, why don't
you let me marry you two?

What are you saying?

Maybe the court has spoken.
Why give it the last word?

Wow. Hey.

You're, uh--
You're, uh, taking everything.

Oh, well, yeah, storage.
You know, it's silly to pay rent.

Oh, I saved, uh--

Hmm. This. [ Clattering ]

Oh.

Hmm.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Beeps ]

Oh, that's blue. Hmm.

Tell me about it.

So, where is the, uh, little home wrecker?

Oh, he's uh-- he's back
with Renee packin' his stuff.

Our flight is at 9:00.

Mmm. So, does that mean
we can have an early dinner?

Well,

I have a problem with good-byes.

I think it would better
if I could just skip ahead to the--

Okay.

That dream you had,
where I left with a note?

That'd be exactly what I'd do.

Okay. So when I drop you
off at the airport,

I just won't watch you get out of the car.

I got us a Town Car to go to the airport.
Larry.

I can't handle good-byes, okay?

So just, if you can bear with me on this.
Just know that...

I love you, and I'll be back.

Okay.

I'll swing by on the way,
and just real quick and-- [ Whistles ]

And then I'll, uh--
Now, I won't say good-bye, but I'll just--

Leave a note. Yeah.

Okay. If I so much as look
at you, I'll never get on the plane.

So, uh-- Hey!

Help me pack, will ya?

Sure. Sure.

[ Vonda ] ♪♪ For once in my life ♪♪

♪♪ I won't let sorrow hurt me ♪♪

♪♪ Not like it's hurt me before ♪♪

♪♪ For once I have something ♪♪

♪♪ That I know won't desert me ♪♪

♪♪ I'm not alone anymore ♪♪

♪♪ For once I can say ♪♪

♪♪ This is mine You can't take it ♪♪

♪♪ As long as I know ♪♪

♪♪ I have love I can make it, yeah ♪♪

♪♪ For once in my life ♪♪

♪♪ I have someone who needs me ♪♪♪♪

You're going to be partners again?

It makes the most sense.

It's our best chance to win
the competition.

Otherwise, we just cancel each other out.

But what if we win the injunction?

Well, she's still the best partner.

I realized that
dancing with her in court.

Yes. What else did you realize?

Nelle, we were just dancing.
We maximize our chances this way.

Yeah. No, uh, you're right. Yeah.

It-- It makes sense.

How about, um, we meet
after for a little...celebration dinner?

Well, Sam, you know, I don't
think it's great

for you and I
to see each other personally.

Why? Well,

without hurting your feelings,
you're a great guy...

and a fabulous...

dancer.

Look, I know you and I
aren't meant to be long-term.

But short-term?

There's so much wonderful sex to be had.

Hmm?

I'll notify the court
we're gonna dismiss the lawsuit.

Okay.

[ Grunts ]

Mm-mmm.

Good-bye.

Yeah.

[ Groans Loudly ]

Do you, Cindy, take Rick
to be your husband?

To love, honor and cherish him
forever more?

I do.

[ Squeals ]

Yeah, uh-- Yeah.

Then by the powers of me,

Richard Fish, rich attorney
with his own firm,

I, in the presence of God,

our friends, and,
uh, everybody who counts,

I pronounce you husband and wife.

You may, uh, kiss the bride.

Thank you, Richard.
Do I get to kiss the bride?

Would you like to? Uh, well, I would.

Okay. No tongue.

No-- No chance. [ Chuckles ]

[ Woman ] That's sweet.

I'm still waiting for my "hello" kiss.
Now?

Well, maybe a little one.

-Is she a bigger slut than me?
-No!

[ Gasps ] [ Richard ] The wedding is over!

Let's have a reception!

♪♪♪♪ [ Harmonica ]

♪♪ I know something about love ♪♪

♪♪ You've got to want it bad ♪♪

♪♪ If that guy's got into your blood ♪♪

♪♪ Go out and get him ♪♪

♪♪ If you want him to be ♪♪

So, he can't say good-bye?
What's up with that?

He writes notes. He's a dream come true,

right till the bitter end.

He'll be back. You know he will.

Wait a minute. This is
my theme song.

Do you think
that she's singing it to me?

Well, it's not to me. [ Mark ] Or me.

Maybe Larry requested it.
Maybe-- Maybe this is his note.

♪♪ Make him see the moon up above ♪♪

I hope.

Ally, he's outside in the car with Sam.

They're on their way to the airport.
Oh, great.

He's leaving you skid marks.
There's enough for ya.

♪♪ Only think of you ♪♪

♪♪ Tell him that
you're never gonna leave him ♪♪

♪♪ Tell him that
you're always gonna love him ♪♪

[ Muffled ] ♪♪ Tell him, tell him,
tell him tell him right now ♪♪♪♪

I thought you were afraid
to make eye contact.

Sam evidently is good at good-byes.

Oh.

Bye, Ally. I had a wonderful time.

Mmm. So did I. And you have
to come visit me, okay?

I will. Now I'll put up my window so you
and Dad can smooch.

What? Bye, buddy.

You still hear music in your head, right?

Okay. Just, um--

Just keep hearin' that song I wrote you.
Okay?

And, uh,

don't forget.

Okay.

And don't you forget.

[ Engine Starts ]

[ Larry ] ♪♪ Chances are you'll find me ♪♪

♪♪ Somewhere on your road tonight ♪♪

♪♪ Seems I always end up driving by ♪♪

[ Vonda ] ♪♪ I remember clearly ♪♪

♪♪ How you looked the night we met ♪♪

♪♪ I recall your laughter
and your smile ♪♪

♪♪ I remember how you made me feel ♪♪

♪♪ So at ease ♪♪

♪♪ I remember all your grace ♪♪

♪♪ And your style ♪♪

♪♪ And now you're all I long to see ♪♪

♪♪ You've come to lean so much on me ♪♪

[ Both ] ♪♪ Chances are I'll see you ♪♪

♪♪ Somewhere in my dreams tonight ♪♪

♪♪ You'll be smiling
like the night we met ♪♪

[ Vonda ] ♪♪ Oh ♪♪

[ Both ] ♪♪ Chances are I'll hold you ♪♪

♪♪ And I'll offer all I have ♪♪

♪♪ You're the only one I can't forget ♪♪

♪♪ Baby, you're the best ♪♪

♪♪ I've ever met ♪♪♪♪

[ Woman ] You stinker!