All language subtitles for Ally.McBeal.S04E09.2000.Disney+.WEB-DL.1080p.H264.AAC-HDCTV_track6_[eng]

[Vonda]
♪ If I listen long enough to you ♪

♪ I'd find a way ♪

♪ To believe that it's all true ♪

♪ Knowing ♪

♪ That you lied ♪

♪ Straight-faced while I cried ♪

♪ Still I look to find a reason ♪

-♪ To believe ♪
-John?

-♪♪ [Ends]
-Oh!

[Screams]

-Hello.
-Whatcha doin'?

Oh, I just came in
to work on a closing.

I was--Ate some bad pastrami.
I got some gas pains.

That's why I loosened
my trousers. When you, uh--

I turned and then--
Yeah. I apologize.

Well, it-it's okay. So, what are you
working on? You're not even in trial?

-You know, my generic, uh--
-John?

-What's up?
-[Sighs]

-It's too beautiful.
-Excuse me?

That light snow falling.

Sometimes it's hard
to walk home...

on a beautiful night when you, uh--

when you have gas.

When you're alone?

[Chuckles] You know, lately I've been
getting the feeling...

that I'm gonna be alone all my life.

Oh, John.

Well, I don't mean to sound like
I'm feeling sorry for myself.

I-I have a great life. I love my job, make
tons and tons of money, and...

I just see myself 30 years from now...

a lonely, old man with nothing to call his
own but a worn-out trial bag.

I--
[Screams]

-[Screams]
-[All Screaming]

-Nicholas? What--
-I need your help, John.

-Nicholas Engblume. Ally McBeal.
-The Nicholas Engblume?

I grew up two houses away--
What--What's the matter?

Well, I--I have this case,
and we go to trial tomorrow.

And my client, she--

You have a case?
I thought you were retired.

I came out of retirement for one last
trial. So I took this one murder case.

The problem is, my client won't really
talk to me, and the trial begins tomorrow.

-Why won't your client talk to you?
-She doesn't trust me.

Or anybody else, for that matter.
She has Tourette's syndrome.

-I need your help.
-You sound a little low.

-Is everything else okay?
-Oh, sure.

It's just--I want
to help this girl out.

She seems like a...
really nice person.

How did she, um,
commit the murder?

She ran over her lover
with an S.U.V.

-Oh.
-Ah.

And then she backed up
over him.

-Ooh.
-Oh.

-Tough case.
-[Both] Mmm.

♪ I've been down
down, down ♪

♪ I've been down this road ♪

♪ Walkin' the line
that's painted by pride ♪

♪ And I have made mistakes
in my life ♪

♪ That I just can't hide ♪

♪ Oh, I believe I am ready ♪

♪ For what love has to bring
Yeah ♪

♪ I got myself together, yeah ♪

♪ Now I'm ready to sing ♪

♪ I've been searching
my soul tonight ♪

♪ I know there's
so much more to life ♪

♪ Now I know
I can shine a light ♪

♪ To find my way back home ♪

-♪ Oh ♪
-♪ Hoo, hoo ♪

♪ Baby, yeah ♪

-♪ Hoo, hoo ♪
-♪ Oh, yeah ♪♪

Murder?

That's the charge. Yes.
She drove over her boyfriend.

Well, what's the defense?
Bad tires?

She drove right over him?

Why does she need you?
She's got Nicholas Engblume.

She and--She and her current lawyer are
having some communication problems.

She suffers from
Tourette's syndrome.

Oh, Tourette's.
She has that.

-Do you even know what that is, Richard?
-Thank you, John.

I'll have you know I was once honored by
the American Tourette's Society...

for my considerable
charitable work in that field.

That's where they whoop and tic and run
around like monkeys, right?

John, there's a woman
here to see you.

Well, is she cute?

Oh, yes, Richard. She's your type.
Wattle for days.

Just asking. I--

Brandy?

Oh, I'm sorry to barge in like this, John.
I know how busy you must be.

-Uh, Nicholas and I are--
-Just on my way to meet him now.

-I beg your pardon?
-He's asked me to second chair his trial.

Oh.

-What's the matter?
-Well, I guess under the circumstances,

What's wrong, Brandy?

I came in here, actually, to ask you to
be my lawyer.

Well, what do you need
a lawyer for?

I want to divorce him, John.

Wattle? Uh--[Stammering]
What? Why?

Because of this trial,
actually.

You know that he's supposed
to be retired?

-And?
-And he promised me that he would retire,

and now he's not, and he'll never be,
and I won't take it.

-I can't.
-Just--[Chuckles]

Of all the couples
in the world--the-the happy couples--

He's been happy.
I've been... waiting.

Well, I won't wait anymore.
I won't.

Well, uh, as I said,
under the circumstances,

I guess if you're going to be representing
anybody, you'll be representing him.

-Brandy, you can't do this.
-John, I am doing it.

Well, just wait, wait. Just at least let
me set you up

with decent counsel then,
all right?

I can certainly do that.
[Sighs]

-Me? Uh-uh.
-I figure if I represent him,

you represent her, we could
broker this back together.

It's supposed to be adversary, John,
just like marriage itself.

Oh, balls. This is the most in-love couple
I've ever known.

For them to be divorcing
at age 70, it's outrageous.

-I'm not gonna let this happen.
-[Scoffs]

Look, I know how you massage people.
You make their worries go away.

You did it with Kimmy, you did it with
Elaine,

and Lord knows
how you massage Ally.

Steady.

I need your help on this. Have
I ever asked you for much?

He'll do it, John. These are the kinds of
things that he just can't say no to.

Thank you. Ally, let's go.
We're late for court.

Why didn't you tell me
she threw you out?

I was embarrassed.

Plus, I thought she'd take
me back.

Well, it's serious,
Nicholas.

Hello, Melanie. This is the extent
of our relationship.

Melanie, I'm Jonathan Cage.

And, well, actually,
it's Jonathan--Uh, John.

Uh, sometimes, uh, when I'm nervous, I add
extra syllables to fill dead air.

Uh, I apologize. It--
[Nose Whistles]

Okay, uh, this is my brother,
Ally McBeal.

Uh, uh, uh, sister.
[Laughs]

Neither.

I meant "brother" as a legal term. Lawyers
sometimes refer to each other as brothers.

-It's archaic.
-Whoo!

Whoo!

Okay. Therein lies the cause
of my nervousness.

I, uh--It's possible
I have Tourette's syndrome,

though I'm not
very symptomatic.

But, uh, one of my symptoms
is, uh, I sometimes--

I pick up on the-the tics of others,
and I mimic them.

But, uh, it's entirely
involuntary, as are your--

It seems to be most pronounced when I'm
nervous,

but I wasn't mocking you,
I promise.

I believe you.

Okay. Let's just get down
to business here.

Uh, temporary insanity
seems to be our best option.

-I'm sorry, Mr. Cage. I can't do that.
-Okay.

You want to tell me why not?

Because people have looked at me
my entire life like I'm insane.

-Do you have any idea what that's like?
-Uh, perhaps not.

But their thinking that at the moment
could come in quite handy.

I'd rather be thought of as a cold-blooded
murderer than crazy.

And if that makes me insane,
I still don't want to plead it.

-[Bangs Table]
-Sorry.

It's just another tic of mine. Some of
them are physical. Jonathan!

In your confession,
you said...

that you went over to his house for the
express purpose of killing him.

-Is that true?
-Yes.

Okay, I'm just curious here.

We-We-We--Why didn't--
Why didn't you kill him inside the house?

-I beg your pardon, midget?
-That's what she did to me.

Nicholas, these utterances are
involuntary. That's what Tourette's is.

Pip-squeak.

Okay. Uh, now, you left the house
with him still quite alive.

In fact, if, uh, he hadn't
followed you outside...

and stood in front of your car, you never
would have been able to kill him.

-What's your point?
-Well, my point is, uh,

it sounds like you got angry and just
snapped, in which case--

I'm not pleading temporary insanity.
I've told it to him.

Now I'm gonna tell it to you.
Can we just go in and start the trial?

Okay, that's all right.
We start after lunch.

Fine. Poop!

Hey, Richard.

Hey, Mark.
Oh, uh, listen.

I've been meaning to ask.
How's Elaine in bed?

It's just, uh, you know,
I've always wanted to find out.

I've just been too afraid
of catching something.

Richard, you're talking about
the woman that I'm seeing.

I know. That's why I'm asking.

-[Phones Ringing]
-[Elevator Bell Dings]

That was amazing, John.

You connected more with her in 10 minutes
than I have in three months.

Mrs. Engblume's in the conference room
with Larry.

Excellent.

What's going on?

I've arranged to have a settlement
conference.

No, no, forget it.

If you don't want to wind
up divorced, you will do this.

Come on, Nicholas.

Wow. Nicholas Engblume
in my law firm.

Yeah.

We should find some way to memorialize it.
Hey, by the way, Elaine,

everything okay with you
and Mark sexually?

-Why do you ask me that?
-Well, he doesn't want to talk about it,

which, since he's a guy, there must be
nothing to talk about.

What--

You don't have the decency to tell me
you're going to hire a lawyer?

Did you have the decency to check with me
when you came out of retirement?

Hold on. Let's start off in nice, civil
tones, and then build toward the anger.

Is this the only issue?
Retirement?

-Can you believe it?
-You better believe it.

I have never cheated. Forty years, I've
never so much as looked at another woman.

I come home to you
every damn night!

Nicholas, you have
a heart condition.

The doctors told you
to retire.

They did not.
That was your idea.

-No, it was your promise.
-Hold on.

-It's one lousy case.
-Why did you take it?

We can't put our big retirement plans
on hold for one month?

-What's so dammed important?
-I am the one who is being put on hold!

I have been on hold for 43 years,
and I'm sick of it!

I am sick of being the one
you "come home to."

I want to be the one
you wake up to. I--

I'm afraid of retirement,

more than you could
ever know.

I'm just scared of...
going dead inside.

It's not that
I don't love you.

But it's not enough.

I guess that's
the problem then.

It's always been enough
for me.

Nothing happened?

Is there something wrong with your
little thingy?

No.

We both just seemed nervous.

-About what?
-Truth be told, all this talk of her...

-experience--
-Oh, say no more.

You're worried about how you'll stack up

against the thousand or so men
she's been with.

-Richard.
-You need a sex song.

A sex song?

Yeah. John uses Barry White.
I use Tom Jones.

-Does it help me, Lingo?
-Amazing.

Ah.

Not all guys rush, Elaine. Now, Larry and
I, we dated for almost a month before we--

-You know.
-But that's you, Ally.

I'm more, you know,
in heat.

Well, now, when guys think that it could
be right, they slow down.

This could be good.

How was it with Larry,
you know, the first?

Mmm.
It was so incredibly...

private.

They were having
some sort of argument.

-Could you hear what they were saying?
-No, not really.

I was inside my house.

I could see that they were screaming,

and he was waving his arms
as she got into her car.

-Big girl! Hippo!
-[Chair Squeaks]

-Hippo!
-She started her car,

and as soon as he moved in front of the
car, boom, she crushed him.

Boom. Boom. Boom.

She just gunned it.

Mrs. Gale, you couldn't actually hear what
was being said, could you?

No. No, I couldn't.

All right.
Nothing further, Your Honor.

The witness may step down.

Your Honor, the prosecution enters the
signed confession of the defendant.

-Otherwise, we rest.
-Um--

Your Honor,
I must move to dismiss.

The prosecution's entire case
lasted less than 20 minutes.

Now, I would submit if you're going to ask
a jury to take away a woman's freedom,

if you're gonna charge somebody with
first-degree murder, then by God,

you'd better have a case
exceeding 20 minutes in length.

This is the height
of expedience.

I'm sure they got the electric chair
warming up to simmer as we speak.

Well, in this country,
we call for evidence first.

We call for a trial.
A fair trial.

Not an 18-minute presentation.
So, send a message, Judge.

Use your gavel, right here, right now,
to say, "Enough!"

-Denied.
-Defense calls Melanie West.

We'll reconvene tomorrow.
Adjourned.

You want to tell me
why you're smiling?

You're quite funny.

We need to talk.

I don't want to talk. I just want you
to take care of this.

Do you love this man?

No. I just devoted my entire adult life to
him because it was something to do.

Then why divorce him?

Because I want to.

Larry, he is going to die.
He has a heart condition.

I don't care if the doctors gave him some
kind of green light.

He promised me that--

You know,
we never had children,

uh, in part because we wanted
to be together, but--

Mm-hmm. Uh, when he retires, what do you
want to do with him the most?

Keep it clean.

I suppose I'd like to dance.
We used to dance all the time.

Every Friday night,
at the end of the week,

he would make me a Sea Breeze,
and we'd dance to Johnny Mathis.

[Sighs]
I love Johnny Mathis.

I used to think I was Johnny Mathis
in a prior life.

-Until I found out he's not dead.
-[Machine Humming]

What's that noise?

Oh, I'm loading Johnny.
Would you like to dance with me?

-♪♪ [Begins]
-Listen, I--

[Johnny Mathis]
♪ Kiss me each morning ♪

-Please?
-Well, I think this is a silly idea.

But I suppose at my age I should never
refuse a young man.

♪ Hold me each evening
at your side ♪

I could be wrong, but I bet there's plenty
of these dances left.

-Are you single?
-No, I meant with Nicholas.

♪ If it don't work out ♪

♪ If it don't work out ♪

-Hey.
-Uh, hey!

Ally. Uh, it's nothing.
I promise. Just cheap sex.

-♪♪ [Stops]
-Right, Brandy?

I'm a thrill ride.

John and Nicholas
are still in court.

But we are hoping to schedule another
settlement conference for this evening.

-Oh, that's a great idea.
-Mm-hmm.

When he retires for good, and forever,
then I'll talk. Maybe.

Well, Brandy, that is something
that we can discuss, okay?

And in the meantime,
you stay away from my man.

Sorry.

See, my problem here,
Melanie,

is that if I know you're about to lie,
I can't put you on the stand.

-Well, I--I'm not gonna lie.
-Well, I think you are.

I don't think you went over there to kill
him. You would have done it inside.

I think you just snapped.

Which means it was either temporary
insanity or heat of passion.

Now, it's truth time.

It's also time
for you to trust me.

-[Screams]
-[Screams] Okay.

-It was an accident.
-An accident?

We were arguing. Yelling.

My foot, it never meant
to hit the accelerator.

My Tourette's--like my hand--
it happened with my foot.

So I didn't realize that
I had gone completely over him.

I thought maybe
I was on him.

So I backed up to back off him.
Not back up over him.

Why didn't you just
say that?

Because it's so humiliating.

My foot shoots out and I--
I run over a person with my car?

I mean, I have been laughed at
and ridiculed my entire life.

I mean, can you imagine
the laughter over--

Well, I would just prefer if people
thought of me as angry.

So you're willing to spend the rest of
your life in prison

rather than face ridicule?

I get asked to leave movie theaters
because of the noises I make.

Parents usher their children away from
me because they think that I'm--

because my body does things
that I can't control.

And now my foot shoots out,
and I--

I guess a crime of passion
just makes me seem more human.

No, it doesn't.

Well, you're a kind man.

Have you considered
medication?

Oh, I'm on it. You should see me
without it.

Melanie, I won't presume to know the depth
of your embarrassment here,

but I will presume prison
is not the answer.

I think I'm just... willing
to be only so pathetic.

Pathetic is having your life over, which
it will be if you're convicted of murder.

Now tomorrow, I want you to take the
stand, and I want you to tell the truth.

You did that on purpose.

I most certainly did.

♪♪ [Pop]

[Tom Jones] ♪ It's not unusual
to be loved by anyone ♪

♪ It's not unusual
to have fun with anyone ♪

-Mark?
-Am I doin' it wrong?

-No, no, no. This looks, uh, uh, perfect.
-What's the problem?

I don't think that Nelle,
uh, likes it.

-What is this?
-Uh, a sex dance.

It makes us better lovers.
Remember, your idea, Nelle.

Oh, yeah. Listen.

If you really, really want to turn a woman
on--Do you?

-[Both] Yes!
-Respect her.

-Where's the fun in that?
-If she thinks you respect her,

if you really, really respect her, she'll
do whatever you want.

-Yeah?
-Men think it's money,

it's flowers, it's sweet talk.

It's none of those things.
It's respect.

♪ R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Find out what it means to me ♪

♪ R-E-S-P-E-C-T ♪♪

I never lied.
I did plan to retire, but--

-But what?
-Brandy,

let me start with the questions, okay?

But what?

You know,
I did almost kill myself.

At that, uh, party
the firm gave--

the big retirement bash.

-♪ I've been cryin' ♪
-[Backup Singers] ♪ For you ♪

-♪ 'Cause I'm lonely ♪
-♪ Without you ♪

-♪ Smiles have all turned ♪
-♪ To tears ♪

[Nicholas] It was supposed
to be a big celebration.

And I went there to celebrate.
I really did.

But then I went into my office,
and I looked around, and...

suddenly I was faced with having to say
good-bye to my life.

The next thing I knew,
I'm on the ledge...

-looking down.
-[Car Horns Honking]

You have no idea how close
I came to jumping.

Well, that just says it all,
doesn't it?

What are we supposed to do,
Brandy?

Go to Florida? Sip
Milk of Magnesia daiquiris...

and play hide-and-seek
with our teeth?

What's wrong with that
if we're together?

-You're asking me to be old.
-Well, you are old!

At home, maybe.
On the golf course, yes.

But in that courtroom,
I'm still powerful.

I'm not old in there.
I'm not weak.

Fine.

Just go to
your courtroom then.

-Hold on, Brandy.
-No.

What a fool I am.

Do you love your job?

Meaning is it gonna
come first in my life?

No.

-Yeah.
-Uh, I hope not.

But no man sets out
with that as a goal, Ally.

"I want to live life with my work as
the number-one priority."

I don't think anybody
ever says that to himself.

-So, what happens?
-I don't know.

I guess... it just happens.

Well, not to get ahead
of ourselves,

but if we do stay together,
I don't want that to happen.

Me neither.

How long had you and the victim been
together?

Six months.

He was my boss at work.

And the day that you--
that you, uh--

-Ran over him with my truck?
-Yes.

Um, well, could-could
you describe what happened?

Sure. Um, we were fighting.

I was in my car getting ready to leave,
and he was yelling at me...

because I was leaving
in the middle of a fight.

And all of a sudden,
my foot--Splat!

It was completely involuntary.

I didn't mean to do it.
Pancake!

The truth is you loved Mr. Gallum very
much, didn't you?

-Yes.
-And the truth is...

you hadn't just gotten
into a fight that day.

He broke up with you. Isn't that the
truth, Ms. West?

Yes. I've never denied that.

No, you haven't.
In fact, prior to today,

you've never denied trying to kill
him intentionally, have you?

That's, uh--That's because
I was humiliated.

Bald hair! Ha!

I still don't understand why I have to
come in person to file divorce papers.

They changed the rules. The clerks, they
want to look you in the eyes now.

Oh, uh, Division Two. That's where
Nicholas's trial is.

Shall we, uh, take a peek?

Is that why you brought me down here?
Larry, do I look stupid?

Brandy, you're angry because you want
someone to share your life with.

My question is, have you
truly tried to share in his?

Motor tics of lower limbs
are not uncommon at all.

But, Doctor, there is no evidence of, uh,
Melanie West's leg shooting out...

as she described,
before the incident?

Actually, that's not quite true. She's
exhibited twirling, squatting.

That does have to do
with her legs.

Plus, under extreme stress,

she could experience a completely new tic
altogether.

Aah!

[Nicholas]
Okay. Now, Doctor,

and this is what
I don't understand.

-This tic is, uh, neurological?
-Correct.

-Nothing psychological about it?
-Correct.

Yet these tics, these utterances seem to
have some cognitive component.

She calls Mr. Cage a pip-squeak.
He happens not to be tall.

She runs over a man she's angry at.
She says "pancake."

There's always been
a psychological...

or mental connection
that we can't explain.

Nevertheless, these utterances
are completely involuntary.

They're caused by
a neurological pathology.

The question, Doctor,
then is this:

Is it possible she involuntarily
hit that accelerator?

Extremely possible.

I have nothing further.

No, I thought you held up very well.
So did the doctor.

What do you think
my chances are?

Well, all we need
is reasonable doubt and, uh--

-Whoo!
-Whoo! Uh, yeah.

And remember, Nicholas Engblume,

he has no equal when it comes to
delivering a summation.

When I was a little boy, I used to go in
there just to listen to him.

He's why I became a lawyer.
And now you've got him as yours.

I also... have you.

Yes. Yes, you do.
And, uh--And Ally.

-You know, she's been, uh, excellent.
-Thank you, John.

Thank you for...
making me try.

Yes.

All right.
Well, I'd better--

Well, I probably should,
uh, go check on Nicholas.

Okay.

-Yes.
-Yes.

-John?
-Yes?

-She likes you.
-Oh, that--

Oh, uh--[Stammering]
I don't know.

No, she does.
Do you like her?

-Well, Ally, she's a client--
-Well, I understand that.

But suppose we win this trial?
You two could go out.

-That, uh, uh--
-John. John.

I think she gets you.

Yeah, but even
if there were some, uh--

With her syndrome, and perhaps mine, that
would be a very dangerous combination.

Why?

Well, I, uh--What if
we had to call 911?

You know, I start "poughkeeping" away,
then she barks.

No, this could be very
dangerous.

Come on! Let's move it! Out of the way!
Out of the way! Let's go!

Hey, right here.

[Man]
Let 'em through!

Nicholas?

[Nicholas]
No, let me go!

Brandy? Brandy? Brandy!

-[John] What's going on?
-She just went down.

[Woman On P.A.]
Trauma team to O.R. 2.

Trauma team to O.R. 2.

-I think she'll make it.
-[Sighs]

-She suffered a massive coronary.
-Can I see her?

-She's still unconscious.
-I want to see her.

-Sure.
-So, she's gonna be all right?

We think so. Yes.

This is God telling me.

I wouldn't listen to her.
Perhaps I should listen to him.

♪♪ [Soul]

[Aretha Franklin]
♪ What you want ♪

-♪ Baby, I got it ♪
-Ooh.

-♪ What you need ♪
-Ooh.

-♪ You know I got it ♪
-Ooh.

♪ All I'm asking is for a little respect
when you get home ♪

[Singing Along] ♪ Just a little bit
Just a little bit ♪

-Wow!
-♪♪ [Ends]

Hi. Uh, what do
you think?

I think...
you two are ready.

Yeah.

♪♪ [Soul]

-♪ Ooh ♪
-♪ What you want ♪

-♪ Ooh ♪
-♪ Baby, I got it ♪

-♪ Ooh ♪
-♪ All I'm asking ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Is for a little respect
when you come home ♪

-♪ Just a little bit ♪
-♪ Hey, baby ♪

-♪ Just a little bit ♪
-♪ When you come home ♪

♪ Just a little bit
Just a little bit ♪

Yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no.
That's great.

Um, okay.
Uh, no. I'm--I'm here.

-Okay. Bye.
-[Phone Beeps Off]

-Is she going to live?
-Yeah.

Yeah, John's with them.

-Where's Larry?
-He's on his way over.

You know,
life is short, Nelle.

It really is.

Thank you.

Do you ever feel like
you're wasting yours?

Ally, I'm happy for you and Larry, but I
like my life just fine. Thank you.

-♪ R-E-S-P-E-C-T ♪
-Okay.

♪ Find out what it means to me
R-E-S-P-E-C-T ♪

♪ Take care
TCB ♪

♪ Sock it to me, sock it to me
sock it to me ♪

♪ Ooh, a little respect ♪

♪ Sock it to me, sock it to
me sock it to me ♪

♪ Oh ♪

-♪ A little respect ♪
-♪ Just a little bit ♪♪

-[Monitor Beeping]
-[Sighs]

Forty-six years ago,
I was in a bar.

I ordered a brandy.

They sent a waitress over
whose name was Brandy.

It's a case of communication breakdown
that resulted in a marriage...

instead of breaking one up.

I get a laugh every time
I tell it.

Yeah, well, that could be
construed as funny.

[Exhales]

This is my real fear, John.

If I'm at home all day,

she'll finally figure out that I'm not
good enough for her.

-Oh, you don't believe that.
-Women love power, you know.

She was attracted
to my power.

What if she doesn't
love me anymore?

She's not gonna stop
loving you, Nicholas.

Every trial I ever won,
I won for the client,

but... I also won for her.

Well, why don't you tell her
that when she wakes up?

I'm not sure
I can close tomorrow.

Can you close?

I'll close.

[Vonda]
♪ Someone like you ♪

♪ Makes it hard
to live without ♪

♪ Somebody else
Someone like you ♪

♪ Makes it easy to give and never think
about myself ♪♪

-You ready?
-No, actually.

How do I make the jury believe she didn't
mean it when she ran over him...

without so much
as an "oops"?

It's very hard to make
any sense of this without,

well, at least with
any degree of persuasion.

Well, does it have
to make sense?

I mean, the best things don't.
Do they?

Well, such as?

Love.

Beauty is another.
It's in the eye of the beholder.

Even humor doesn't make sense when
you think about it. Sense of humor.

Who can explain what people find funny?
I mean, to me, it's the insistence...

on making sense
that doesn't make sense.

And the people who do, they--
they often end up alone.

Ally, she barks.

She squeals.
She makes me squeal.

Her little hand fires out
and whacks things.

When I go to a movie, I like the action
to stay on the screen.

Mmm. You're right.

Wouldn't make sense.

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

What a relief.

The beginning of
a relationship is tough.

Once you get over
that first hump--

-The song helped, didn't it?
-Well, it didn't hurt.

Ling couldn't get enough
of me last night.

And there was plenty to go
around, I can tell you that.

-I took the big "V."
-Viagra?

Respect only gets you
so far, Mark.

True love? Chemicals.

-Does everybody take Viagra now?
-Pretty much.

Hey, your last girlfriend did. That's
how you found out the truth.

Hey, Elaine. Not that it's my
business, but, uh, how was he?

Richard!
[Gasps]

[Objects Squeaking]

-It's the song.
-[Elaine Moans]

She's angry
with Peter Gallum.

They're fighting.
She runs him over.

Backs up over him again.
Confesses.

And now, for the first time in trial,
she suddenly claims accident.

Right.

She's looking to get away with murder,
ladies and gentlemen.

She killed her lover.

And now, she's exploiting her disease
to try to get away with it.

I suppose you could
fall for it.

But I think you all
know better.

It's a disorder.
It's not a disease.

Little consolation
to Mr. Gallum, no doubt.

But the distinction does mean
something to Melanie West...

because she's been stared at
her entire life.

Gawked at, if you will. Thought of as
diseased, deranged.

You know, when a person suffering from
Tourette's blurts something out,

when their hand jerks
or their foot,

it's no more voluntary than a heart
attack, and no more welcome.

Oliver Sacks once likened
Tourette's to being possessed.

He also spoke of it as "the missing link
between body and mind."

Now the truth is, we don't fully
understand this syndrome.

And the folly here would be presuming that
any of us ever could.

Imagine, a word coming out of your mouth
that you didn't intend to say.

And I'll ask you this.

Imagine trying to maintain
your dignity...

and self-respect
as you bark at people,

as you squeal in a church.

Now, Melanie West has managed to hold on
to her dignity

in the face of unrelenting
ridicule.

But when she ran over
Peter Gallum,

the only way that she could cling
to any self-respect...

to avoid being dismissed as
pathetic was to make up a lie.

She said she did it
on purpose.

It's better to be condemned
than pitied.

The district attorney here can't make any
room for that possibility.

He can't make
any sense of it.

Unless you've walked
in her shoes--

No, no, check that.
Her body--

her "ticking," twitching body--

perhaps you can't make
any sense of it.

Which means
you can't be sure.

If you're looking to latch on
to something tangible,

something reasonable,
it's right in front of you.

It's called doubt.

Ta-da!

Murphys?

-That's a proper.
-It's a regular word.

-Murphys?
-It's slang.

Slang for what?
Do you know this word, "Murphys"?

Yeah, yeah.

It's, uh, the, uh, uh--[Whistles]
Tune in, Tokyo.

It is? You can't use
a word like that.

You used "bumhole." You don't think I know
what that is?

Yeah, I was gonna challenge
that myself.

Why are you here?

Because, uh, she's represented by counsel.
I can't let--

-Oh, balls.
-That's a 10 pointer.

Quiet. Listen, the case is over.
You're discharged.

Uh, I haven't heard that
from my client yet.

Brandy, is the case over?

I don't like the word "over."
I prefer the word "retired."

There's big points in
that word, too, Nicholas.

Yes, there are.

Larry, the case is over.

[Sighs]

Mr. Foreman, the jury
has reached a verdict?

We have, Your Honor.

[Judge] What say you?

The Commonwealth
versus Melanie West...

on the charge
of second-degree murder,

we find the defendant,
Melanie West--

[Gasps]

-Not guilty.
-Ha!

[Judge] Members of the jury,
this completes your service.

John, Ally, thank you.

-You're dismissed. We're adjourned.
-Thank you.

So, I'm free.

And single.
Single and free.

[Stammering]
Sure.

I'm gonna go, uh,
wait out in the corridor.

And I'll let you two...
discuss the bill.

She's a bit of an odd duck.

You like odd ducks,
don't you?

Well--

Can we appeal?

-Melanie, we won.
-Yeah, I know.

I thought that maybe
if we appeal,

I could have some more
meetings with my lawyer.

Well, there--Oh, that's--
that's an overture.

-Yes, it was.
-Oh.

John, I know I come
with a few quirks,

but I have this feeling, which something
tells me that you share.

[Nose Whistles]

What if we agree up-front
that I'll never drive?

Well, the thing is, I-I would love to
go out with you.

[Stifled Laughter]

[Clears Throat]

Um, let's go. I know this quiet
little bar we can go--

I am so grateful for everything
that you've done for me, John.

It's, uh--

We-We could go to--

-Okay.
-Yeah.

[Vonda]
♪ Kiss me each morning ♪

♪ For a million years ♪

♪ Hold me each evening ♪

♪ By your side ♪

♪ Tell me you love me ♪

♪ For a million years ♪

♪ And if it don't work out ♪

♪ If it don't work out ♪

♪ Then you can tell me ♪

♪ Good-bye ♪

If this keeps up, you and I
are gonna have to be friends.

-It'll never come to that.
-Promise?

You don't fool me.

If I offered you some of my jelly roll,
you'd step right up.

How would you know?
You've never offered.

[Vonda]
♪ Before you leave ♪

♪ But if you must go ♪

♪ I won't say no ♪

♪ Just so that we can
say we tried ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Tell me you love me ♪

Was--Was I too pushy
to ask you out?

-I only date pushy women.
-Why is that?

Well, I--

Because you're too chicken
to make the move yourself?

Uh, yes, exactly.
You know me already.

Oh, I--

Oh, I knew you the minute
you walked in the door.

You had me on "I'm Jonathan Cage.

No, actually, it's John.
Sometimes when I'm nervous"--

All right, listen.
Dancing is a quiet thing.

If you're going to speak,
let it be involuntary.

[Growls]

♪ Then you can tell me ♪

♪ Good-bye ♪♪

[Woman]
You stinker!