All language subtitles for Ally.McBeal.S04E06.2000.Disney+.WEB-DL.1080p.H264.AAC-HDCTV_track6_[eng]

Previously on Ally McBeal.

I was removed
from the partnership track.

For being a prude?

They told me it was values.
The problem is I have them.

I've never been this
forward with a man ever,

but would you like to
have dinner or something?

Yes, I'd love to.

Tomorrow is my third date
with Larry.

And you think
you two will kiss?

Ally, don't run from me. Don't run from
whatever you're feeling.

Do you have any idea what
you're getting yourself into?

♪ Needed so long ♪

-♪ Sleigh bells ring ♪
-♪ Sleigh bells ring ♪

-♪ Are you listenin' ♪
-♪ Are you listenin' ♪

-♪ In the lane ♪
-♪ In the lane ♪

-♪ Snow is glistenin' ♪
-♪ Snow is glistenin' ♪

♪ A beautiful sight ♪

♪ We're happy tonight ♪

♪ Walkin' in
a winter wonderland ♪

-[Ally] Easy, easy, easy.
-Yeah.

You know, uh, isn't it a little early
for a tree?

The Christmas season starts as soon as
you put up your tree, and...

I think the world could, uh, extend the
yuletide spirit a week, you know.

-[Horn Honks]
-Oh! Bite me!

-Ah! There's the spirit.
-Well, and then you put up the tree,

you decorate it, you sit on the couch,
you look at the twinkly lights,

-you make an eggnog.
-I always hated Christmas.

Wh--Oh--I should have saved that
for later in the relationship.

Mmm. I don't know if I can be with a man
who hates Christmas.

I'm allergic to the down
feathers in the couch.

All right? There's cholesterol
in the eggnog.

The tree is a fire hazard,

and twinkly lights
can cause seizures.

That's why you hate Christmas?

That, and... I'm always alone.

Oh. Well, you're not gonna be
alone this Christmas.

Could you say that again, please?

-You're not gonna be alone this Christmas.
-Hmm.

What?

Let's go decorate the tree.

-I can't wait.
-♪ Sleigh bells ring ♪

-[Laughs]
-♪ Sleigh bells ring ♪

-♪ Are you listenin' ♪
-♪ Are you listenin' ♪

-♪ In the lane ♪
-♪ In the lane ♪

-♪ Snow is glistenin' ♪
-♪ Snow is glistenin' ♪

♪ A beautiful sight ♪

♪ We're happy tonight ♪

♪ Walkin' in
a winter wonderland ♪♪

♪ I've been down
down, down ♪

♪ I've been down this road ♪

♪ Walkin' the line
that's painted by pride ♪

♪ And I have made mistakes
in my life ♪

♪ That I just can't hide ♪

♪ Oh, I believe I am ready ♪

♪ For what love has to bring
Yeah ♪

♪ I got myself together, yeah ♪

♪ Now I'm ready to sing ♪

♪ I've been searching
my soul tonight ♪

♪ I know there's
so much more to life ♪

♪ Now I know
I can shine a light ♪

♪ To find my way back home ♪

-♪ Oh ♪
-♪ Hoo, hoo ♪

♪ Baby, yeah ♪

-♪ Hoo, hoo ♪
-♪ Oh, yeah ♪♪

First up, uh,
Stevens versus WKGB. John?

-Yes.
-What? Yes?

What's the case? WKGB?
Is it a Russian spy thing? What?

WKGB is a local
news station, Richard.

Oh.

Perhaps you've caught it at night,
inadvertently,

while surfing your
little titty shows.

[Richard]
Uh, uh, funny.

Uh, Latin anchorwoman,
uh, uh, big breasts?

One of the anchors, yes.

Another is Kendall Stevens.
He does the morning news.

-Mm-hmm.
-He was recently discharged.

We're suing the news station
for wrongful termination.

-Ling is my worthy second chair.
-Why was he fired?

He was terminated
for excessive truth-telling.

He announced on the morning newscast
that there was no Santa Claus.

-There was public outrage--
-[Scoffs]

resulting in his discharge.

He said that there was
no Santa Claus?

You didn't know?

-Well, how could he do that?
-[Nelle] Oh, please.

He's nothing
but a dangerous myth.

A fat, washed-out alcoholic who fiddles
with elves. He's a pedophile too.

Gets kids to sit on his lap while
promising toys. I salute our client.

Last year you said
you loved Santa Claus.

He was in last year.
Now he's out.

Well--
[Clears Throat]

[Elevator Bell Dings]

-Hey.
-Larry.

-Sweetie.
-Mmm.

-What are you doing here?
-Uh,

-I missed you, and it's only 9:30.
-Mmm. Well, that's sweet.

-[Gasps]
-This is a workplace.

Could you drip over
each other someplace else?

-Okay, um--
-Huh.

Something's wrong.
[Chuckles]

-Um, can you excuse me for--
-Mm-hmm.

just a little bit
of a... second?

Larry, hey.
Slept with her yet?

Not my business,
so yes or no would suffice.

Look. I-I run a business here. I need my
litigators hungry, ornery.

Even if she's being satiated in any way, I
need to know.

Protect the client, the firm.

So, are you two, uh--

Ally's told me so much about you, and I've
believed so little of it.

Well, I make a dent.
Have all my life.

And you're
making one now.

Well, thank you.
That's, uh--

But we've always talked to each
other, Elaine.

When there is a problem,
you and I--we talk.

It's just, you know,
you're part of the problem.

Well, then you-you--
I am?

I'm happy for your happiness, Ally.
I really am.

I'm thrilled
for John and Kimmy.

I don't begrudge
Richard and Ling. I just--

I see couples everywhere.
Happy, smiling,

disgusting, kissy-face couples,
and it's making me sick.

I'm tired of being alone. And where I used
to mope and feel sorry for myself,

now I just want to get a machine gun and
mow down all the couples.

The stupid, smiling,
sucky-face, happy pigs.

-Ah.
-And Christmas is coming.

This is the worst. I sit at home, and all
the TV shows are about love and joy,

and I get depressed,
and I have a drink.

And the next thing I know, I'm at some bar
with some total stranger,

offering up my vagina.

Well, you--

Do you like music?

-I'm sorry?
-Well, Ally tells me that you love music.

As do I. In fact,

when I'm feeling empty,
which I always do in December,

I sit at my piano at night,
and I just,

you know, sing a little.

You know? You'd be surprised what an
incredible companion music can be.

It's more about
applause with me.

Without a stage and an
audience, I have no use for music.

Well--Do they let you
sing at the bar downstairs?

They try to discourage it. They say I make
it all about me.

Hmm. What you need to do
is find a song...

that makes you feel better.

Oh, I'm sure we can arrange
to get you on stage.

Okay.

Thank you.

What?

Well, it's just the--
the way that you, um,

handle the Kimmys and the
Elaines of the world.

-How do I handle the Allys?
-Tell me why you can't handle Christmas.

I did.

[Man] Your parents will tell
you he's real...

because they love you.

They want you to enjoy
the myth of "Ho, ho, ho"...

and sugarplums and elves.

They'll tell all the lies to you that
their parents told to them...

because they want to surround you

with the magic feeling
that goes with Christmas.

And it's all right to pretend along with
your parents...

that there really is
such a thing as Santa Claus.

Enjoy it, like a good story, much as you
would "Jack and the Beanstalk"...

or the Easter Bunny
or Peter Pan.

But no giant's going to
fall out of the sky...

chasing a golden goose.

No rabbit's going to sneak into your house
with chocolate eggs.

And there won't be any Santa Claus coming
down your chimney. For real.

This is Kendall Stevens.

Shattered quite a few
myths there, Kendall.

Any child old enough to be watching the
news probably already knows.

And if not,
he or she should.

-Why?
-Because at some point he's going to know.

And if the news comes from an older
sibling or another kid at school,

it won't be broken gently.

I remember the day I found out. It was a
huge betrayal. My parents had lied to me.

My son, when he found out, at the age of
seven, from an older kid at school,

he came home, he looked at me,
he said, "I trusted you."

That's when I realized, this is a
fundamental lie to children.

Did you tell your producers that you were
gonna say this on the air?

-No.
-So you knowingly defied the producers...

and exposed the station
to a negative--

-I knew that it wouldn't be popular.
-But what? It was news?

It was the truth.
As much as you may disagree...

with my decision
to broadcast it,

a newsman should never be fired
for broadcasting a truth.

[John]
I remember when I found out.

I was shopping with my mother.

I sat on the department
store Santa,

told him all about the special, uh,
steam train I wanted,

which was green
with red stripes.

Then we left the store,
came to a street corner,

and there was Santa again,
ringing a bell.

And he was black.
I thought, "Well, that's odd.

Got from here to there so fast--
and changed color."

But I thought,
"He's Santa. He's magic."

And then he looked at me with no
recognition whatsoever...

and said, "Well, little one, what
would you like for Christmas?"

And I knew right then this whole thing
was a fraud.

That's awful.

I didn't find out till my freshman year
in college.

You have been really sheltered your
whole life, haven't you?

Oh.

Not as much
as people think.

-I've dated a rock star.
-You did?

Well, one date.
I met him after the concert.

I'd only known him an hour when he asked
me to touch his willy,

-so it was pretty short-lived.
-[Snorting]

[Snorts] Still, the idea of you,
uh, and a rock star.

Actually, every boy I ever dated was
a singer of some sorts.

-Really?
-I love singers.

I don't know why.

-Do you sing?
-Me? Uh--

Mmm--Yeah. I-I had--
I had a band in--in college.

-You did?
-Yeah. It was no big deal.

-It was just, uh, some rock and roll.
-Did people go wild for you?

Uh, they--

Yeah, I'd get 'em pretty whipped up.
But, uh, it was years ago.

I've decided I know what I want for
my Christmas present.

What?

I want you to sing
a song for me at the bar.

Oh--
[Stammering]

No. I--[Stammers]
I don't perform anymore.

But you would sing
one song just for me, right?

Well--
[Nose Whistles]

It's my tuning nose.

♪♪ [Orchestral Theme]

You really do love
Christmas, don't you?

Well, yes.

-Why don't you?
-Uh-oh. It's an issue.

Should we settle this before we start
naming children?

No, seriously, Larry. I--

I mean, realizing that it's a little
premature to say it,

not to mention
presumptuous,

but I might think twice about having
children with a man

who doesn't like
Christmas.

So, if we got married, we could just skip
the children part.

I'm being serious.
I would like you to be.

Okay.

I... have a child.

♪♪ [TV: Orchestral Theme
Continues]

What?

I have a son.
He's seven years old.

-♪♪ [Stops]
-Why didn't you tell me this before?

Uh, 'cause I'm ashamed.

You're ashamed of
having a son?

I'm ashamed that I don't
see him every day,

and I'm ashamed that he's grown up,
for the most part, without his father.

Well, where is he?

He's in Detroit,
with his mother.

I thought your ex-wife
lived here in Boston.

She does.

Oh. Oh, you-you--you had this
child with another woman.

Merry Christmas.

Why did you tell her
you were a singer?

I don't know. She was talking about how
all the men she loved sang.

Next thing I know, I'm promising her
a number at the bar.

Y-You did what?

Yeah. As a Christmas present. What am I
gonna do, Richard?

She's expecting a real singer.
A performer.

John, you care
about this woman.

I-I believe I do. Yeah.

This could be something real
you have with her.

It's entirely possible.

Then there's only one thing you can
do, John. You've lied to her.

You need to go to her now with a bigger
lie. Tell her you have a throat polyp.

No, I'm not gonna follow up one lie
with another, Richard.

John, I-I could be
wrong here,

but there's nothing more fundamental
to a relationship than honesty.

If she finds out you've lied--
You gotta lie again here.

It's your only out with this woman.
Am I right?

Thank you, but I'm gonna go out on a
limb and just tell her the truth.

-Mistake.
-I'm seeing her for lunch.

I'll do it then.

-[Toilet Flushes]
-Have you picked your song?

No. I'm looking
for the perfect one.

Something that speaks to me.

Something pretty. Something that coincides
with my current self.

Elaine.

I love music,
don't get me wrong,

but is this the way to address
loneliness--

climbing into the spotlight
for attention?

Well, that's what I look for in a man.
Attention.

It just seems
a little desperate to me.

Oh, this from a man
who dates women with schlongs.

I'm sorry.
That was rude.

Mark.

I haven't had a real
boyfriend in seven years.

I am desperate.

A television station has an obligation to
its viewing constituency.

We build a trust
with our audience.

We expect our on-air personnel to honor
that trust. This was a breach.

Announcing that
there is no Santa Claus?

[Man] Absolutely. We incurred the wrath
of our trusted public.

Goodwill that we'd worked
many years to cultivate,

obliterated by his anti-American,
anti-yuletide, anti-humanity stance.

Everyone at WKGB is chagrined--
and remains chagrined.

And as a gesture to our viewers, who put
their trust in our good name,

our good station,
we owed it to them...

to discharge the transgressor
of this mean-spirited,

unscripted,
cynical proclamation.

Ratings go down after
he declared no Santa?

No. The ratings did not suffer,

but there's more to television news,
my good man, than ratings.

Well, yes. You're in the business
of goodwill.

That's part of it. Yes, it is. We
certainly can't condone an anchorman...

speaking recklessly in a manner
that injures children.

-[John] Oh, children got hurt here?
-Very much so.

You know of children
who actually got hurt?

I most certainly do.

My own grandson, Jacob Ray, eight years
old--he was devastated.

Sitting in his living room, his parents
placing their trust in our good name,

suddenly he hears
"no Santa Claus."

The little child was poleaxed.
Yes, he was.

Ratings did not go down, your anchors
ad-lib all the time.

It was because he poleaxed
little children?

Primarily, yes.
It was reckless. Reckless, I tell you.

I have nothing further,
Your Honor.

Your Honor,
we next call to the stand...

-little Jacob Ray.
-I object to that.

[Attorney] Your Honor, we would like to
demonstrate to the jury the effect...

this man's announcement
has had on children.

It's manipulative,
Your Honor.

I'll allow it, after lunch.

Until then, we're adjourned.

[Door Closes]

-Hey.
-Ally, hi.

Hmm.

It's a nice tree.

-[Clears Throat]
-You okay?

Me? Yeah. Yeah. I'm--
I'm--I'm fine. Why?

Well, you, uh--you just looked a
little disappointed about--

You having a son?

Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Are you?

Disappointed?

No.

Look, Larry. I won't lie.

I would like to believe that I am the
first woman that you ever looked at,

much less--

But, um, see, you're--you're gonna have
to forgive me,

because I have spent my whole
life crafting this little list...

of how it's supposed to go
when I meet somebody,

and as I've gotten older, I've--I've
become more willing to make compromises.

There's only one real prerequisite left on
the list for the man in my life.

-What's that?
-I have to love him.

[Clears Throat]
These Christmas blues--

are they connected
to your son?

Very much.

Can you tell me?

The first three years of his life, his
mother and I were together.

Uh, this was before I married and became
untogether with somebody else.

And he loves the snow.

And--Well,
at Christmastime, we, uh--

All that stuff that you find magical
about Christmas--

the tree and...
the stockings and...

sleigh rides
and-and making angels in the--

I did all that with him.

And now I don't have him.

So I--

I don't really have Christmas.

[Inhales, Exhales Deeply]

Ally, when you do have a child,
you know, no matter...

how much you think you're prepared for
it, you'll be stunned...

by the capacity you have
to love somebody.

It's just I believe
a child should be able to...

hold on to Santa Claus
for as long as possible.

Well--

We didn't tell Kimmy
till she was in college.

[Both Giggle]

I hope you don't mind
my bringing Mommy along.

Oh, no.

She usually comes
on all my dates.

Uh--P--[Stammers]

Really?

Well, one problem
Kimmy's had with courting...

is she becomes guarded.

And having me with her
puts her more at ease.

Yes. Makes sense.

Um,

actually, Kimmy, I have a little
confession of my own to make.

Um,

when I said I was a singer--

-You're a singer?
-Can you believe it?

Well, hello. Did I tell you
you'd be with a singer?

-Don't embarrass me!
-[Giggles]

Do you play
an instrument, John?

I thought you were gonna
tell her the truth.

-The mother threw me.
-Yes. The mother.

That's another story. She brings
her mother on dates.

She's bringing her tonight.
And tomorrow night.

They're both expecting to hear me
sing. You have to help me, Richard.

I told ya. Lie.
That's the best I can do.

Can you do your--your Barry White thing?
At least that's funny.

No. I told her it was rock and roll.
So I'm completely fraught.

Look. If it's rock and roll,
what's the problem?

I mean, Bob Dylan's been singing for 35
years. He's yet to hit a note.

A lot of rock-and-roll songs don't
even have melodies. Maybe you could...

pick a song where you just,
uh, talk the words.

Oh, balls.
She'll never fall for that.

[Stammers]
What about movement, you know?

I'm stiff. I-I step like
I'm tryin' to kill bugs.

I-I can help you there. Uh, I've
been doing some self-esteem movement...

to make me
a hotter lover.

♪♪ [Pop]

♪♪ [Stops]

See? I'll get you through this, John.
Now, uh--

Let's talk about
the mother.

♪ Tomorrow, tomorrow ♪

♪ I love ya
tomorrow ♪

Could you guys fake keeping up?
♪ You're always a day a--♪♪

All right.

You guys can go home now. But I need you
back early. We need to rehearse this.

Oh, I've gotta check on
wardrobe. Otherwise, 5:30 sharp.

And let's show up with our heads on this
time. Can we do that? [Clears Throat]

-♪♪ [Hums]
-♪ Tomorrow ♪

-[Clears Throat]
-Um, uh, Elaine.

-Is that your song?
-Mmm. Isn't it perfect?

It's about waking up to a better world,
finding somebody.

I chose it because
it's poignant.

Well, she seems
more buoyant, anyway.

So, why'd you bring me here?
To inspire me with

Elaine's music
or get me drunk on eggnog?

The eggnogs are virgin.
Thank you.

-Oh.
-See, I brought you here...

because I happen to be an expert on
getting people into the Christmas spirit.

And you present a
particularly tough challenge.

But, um,

-I'm gonna break you down.
-Hmm.

-Come on.
-Where are we goin'?

Well, you did say that music was your big
companion, didn't you?

Yeah, but now I have you.

I-I just need you to sit at the piano,
please.

[Sighs, Clears Throat]

I... am going to supply you
with a theme song.

-I learned it in therapy.
-Hmm. Okay.

Okay.

♪ Christmas is coming ♪

♪ The goose is getting fat ♪♪

The animal rights groups
already took that one.

Oh. Okay. Um--

Oh, how about this one now? I used to date
a hockey player, and he--he loved it.

♪ All I want for Christmas is my
two front teeth ♪

No, no, no. That's stupid.
Okay. Oh, how about this?

♪ Dashing through the snow
in a one-horse open sleigh ♪

Mmm, not that one. All the "dashing
through the snow" and-and "Jingle Bells"--

that's what I do with Sam.

You never told me his name.

Sam.

Hey. How about we go to
Detroit for Christmas?

Well, his mother takes him to her
parents' house. They live in Canada.

But you're so sweet
to offer.

When you told Elaine that you sit at your
piano when you feel empty,

what do you play?

"New York, New York."

"Shout."

Mmm.

Mmm. I have to pee.

God, that's so romantic.

But when I get back,
you're gonna play me something.

♪♪ [Strikes High Note]

♪♪ [Strikes Low Note]

Thank you all for coming.

It's good to be in Boston.

Here's a little somethin'.

♪ It's comin' on
Christmas ♪

♪ They're cuttin' down trees ♪

♪ They're puttin' up reindeer ♪

♪ And singin' songs
of joy and peace ♪

♪ Oh, I wish I had a river ♪

♪ I could skate away on ♪

♪ But it don't snow here
It stays pretty green ♪

♪ Gonna make a lot of money ♪

♪ Then I'm gonna quit
this crazy scene ♪

♪ Oh, I wish I had a river ♪

♪ I could skate away on ♪

♪ Oh, I wish I had a river ♪

♪ I made my baby cry ♪♪

♪♪ [Ends]

♪♪ [Rock]

♪♪ [Continues]

You see?

No singing.

You just move.

Hey. It's--There are very few
words. You just move around.

-Oh, balls.
-No. This will work, John.

You kind of "talk-sing"
this song.

I want to tell you a story.
S-See that?

You put your mouth right to the mike,
almost flush against it.

Full reverb.
[Echoes]

-You try it.
-Okay.

-I want to tell you--
-[Feedback]

Oh. Too close.

I want to tell you a story.

-Excellent. You can do this, John.
-Who am I kidding?

The girl. That's how we get them
to sleep with us.

What if I fall flat on my face?
Have you thought about that?

-That's not gonna happen.
-How can you be sure?

Don't you worry. I'll have an insurance
policy in place.

What kind of insurance?

-Flirt with the whole bar?
-You don't have to be flirty-flirty.

Just smile, the way that you can.
Ask them, as a favor to you,

could they cheer and respond while
John is up there singing?

Ah. And why is John
singing, anyway?

To impress a girl. Remember, these are
hard times for him.

It's Christmas. It's lonely. He used to
have a beautiful woman. It was you, Nelle.

I'm just asking for you and Ling to--
to charm a few recruits.

I don't think people are just gonna cheer
because I ask them to.

Nelle, men will do anything for you.
Don't you get that?

-[Scoffs]
-One look.

They want to whisk you away. You have that
effect. It's the hair.

-Oh, the look on his face.
-You worried?

Well, it was
a hugely sad song, Renee.

And, I mean, one of the things that
I love about him...

is he has this ability to just lift me
out of my gloom.

And now I'm thinking that maybe his
despair runs deeper than mine.

Ally, all this sadness--
it's Christmas.

Christmas is supposed to be a time
of joy.

Oh, please.

What's everybody's
favorite Christmas movie?

It's a Wonderful Life.
Jimmy Stewart.

He tries to commit suicide.
He jumps off a bridge.

Ah, it just broke my heart to listen to
him sing that song.

-He's gonna be fine.
-And how can you be sure?

He's got you.

I was playing with
my toys on the rug.

I wasn't really
watching the TV.

And when I heard "Santa Claus,"
I looked up. That's when I heard it.

Tell us what
you heard, Jacob.

I heard that man say
there was no Santa Claus.

Okay. And can you tell us
how that made you feel?

[Sobs]

[Judge] Would you like to take a
break, son?

[Sobbing]

Actually, Your Honor,
I have no further questions.

Hi, Jacob.
My name is Ling.

You think you can
continue, honey?

[Sniffles]

-How old are you, Jacob?
-I'm eight.

Eight? Wow.
What are you, first grade? Second?

-Third.
-Third!

So you read, do math.
You look like a smart kid.

Ever been in
an airplane, Jacob?

Yeah. Last year, I went to
Disneyland in California.

-It was a jet.
-[Ling] A jet? I bet a jet goes fast.

-700 miles per hour.
-Whoosh!

Jacob, truthfully,

when you heard
Mr. Stevens's broadcast,

you already knew there was no
Santa, didn't you?

-No, I did not!
-[Growls]

No need to get loud,
sweetheart.

You thought Santa delivered
presents to all over the world?

On Christmas Eve.

So,

it takes a jet going
700 miles per hour...

six hours just to fly
across one country,

and you thought
eight tiny reindeer...

could lug this big sled all over the world
in one night?

Isn't that a little dopey
to think that, Jacob?

Well--

Can we talk about the size
of Santa's bag?

That little sack has enough toys
for 300 million children?

Are you retarded, Jacob?

Objection!

I'm just trying to find out
what the boy believed.

He seems really smart.

You really thought one fat, old man,
living on the North Pole,

was making toys for every single child
on Earth,

to be carried in one bag, one sleigh,
delivered in one night?

Well, I know
it's a little dubious.

How about "He sees you when you're
sleeping. He knows when you're awake"?

That I always
kind of wondered about.

-"Knows if you've been bad or good."
-Um--

What about Rudolph's nose
cutting through the fog?

-Oh, I never believed that.
-Ever wonder why...

all those toys Santa makes
with his midget friends...

look exactly like the ones
you see at Toys "R" Us?

It's a little suspicious.

And what's Santa do
when he gets to Florida?

Lots of snow there for his sleigh,
right, Jacob?

-Objection!
-Jacob, you seem intelligent.

I want you to tell us what you really
think of the idea of Santa Claus.

It's stupid.

Wow.

Now that is
the Christmas spirit.

I thought you'd like it.

Hey, Ally. I'm sorry if I've been
kind of a wet blanket.

I know Christmas
is important to you, and...

I'm not gonna spoil things.

Are you really trying to have a serious
conversation with a red blinking nose?

-I'm sorry.
-[Beeps]

Better?

[Chuckles] You are the biggest nut
I've ever met.

That's a good thing?

It's a good thing.

Now, come on.

I am going to take you to see
your positive influence at work.

Oh.

What positive influence?

♪ When I'm stuck with a day ♪

♪ That's gray and lonely ♪

♪ I just stick out my chin ♪

♪ And grin
and say ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ The sun'll come out
tomorrow ♪

There's gotta be
a law against this.

Look over there.

♪ Come what may ♪

♪ Tomorrow
Tomorrow ♪

♪ I love ya
tomorrow ♪

♪ You're always a day away ♪
Everybody!

♪ Tomorrow ♪

♪ Tomorrow
I love ya ♪

♪ Tomorrow ♪

♪ You're always a day ♪

♪ A...way ♪♪

♪♪ [Vocalizes]

-[Whistling]
-Oh!

Oh, bravo!

Bravo!

-I think it worked.
-Maybe.

[Man Shouts]

And just think, John.
When you sing--

♪ It's only a day away ♪

[Mumbles]

-Mr. Larry.
-Miss Kimmy.

Again.

Is this fate? You think maybe you and I
are meant to procreate?

I am not comfortable
with coarse humor.

-Are you suing somebody?
-I'm here to see my John.

He's giving his closing
arguments in the Santa Claus case.

-He's closing now?
-As we speak.

Where was the evidence
that any child got hurt?

Now, Mr. Stark called his own grandson
into action.

But the reality is...

that when kids
do get hurt on this,

it doesn't go to the reveal
that there's no Santa Claus.

It's the reveal...

that maybe their parents
lied to them.

Kendall Stevens--

he was really counseling children not
to feel betrayed by this deception.

And he was also saying, let your parents
indulge this illusion.

Why?

Well, because the fact is
that we need Santa Claus...

much more than kids do.

We're out there
living in the real world.

And it's harsh.
We're exposed to ugly truths.

We bear witness to evidence that
dreams don't always come true.

And when December
comes along,

it's nice.

It's nice to cling to Santa
and all he represents,

to relive the innocence
of childhood,

to recapture
those feelings of joy...

and magic and song.

Feelings that have
long since left us.

Santa is a device
for the parents sometimes...

to experience the love
and the gift of the child.

And we need it.

What the child
actually needs...

is love and trust...

and yes, the magic
of his parents.

And it was that
sacred union...

which Kendall Stevens was trying
to safeguard with his broadcast,

knowing that a child craves the honesty
of mom and dad...

a hell of a lot more
than he needs the illusion...

of old Saint Nick
coming down a chimney.

The severance
of parent and child...

and their mutual trust--

that's the tragedy Kendall Stevens
was trying to address.

He decides to tell the world
there's no Santa Claus.

He exposes the station
to tremendous bad will.

And he does so knowing that it is against
the wishes and interests of the station.

He violates the trust
of his employer.

So, of course, we have
the right to terminate him.

Richard, you can't let him
get up on that stage and sing.

-Ally, it's his choice.
-Oh, he will embarrass himself.

I thought you were great,
Elaine.

Thank you.
I appreciate that.

Did you get
any dates out of it?

It wasn't about getting a date.

My question is,
did you get one?

No, I didn't.
All right?

-Would you like one?
-Richard!

-A date?
-Yes.

-With you?
-Yes.

-You're asking me out?
-Yes.

-Yes.
-Great.

Oh, I know this is a stupid question,
but I'm gonna ask anyway.

-I don't have a penis.
-Excellent. 8:00?

That'd be great.

[Elevator Bell Dings]

Oh. Ah. Larry. Hey.

Hi.

[Chuckles]

-Is everything okay?
-Yeah. Listen, um--

I know John is singing tonight,
and, uh,

I wouldn't dream of asking you to miss it,
but would you mind if I missed it?

No.

I just--For whatever reason, I'm havin' a
week, and I, uh--

I think I need a night
alone.

Okay.

-Okay. Thanks.
-Mmm.

[Elevator Bell Dings]

Good night.

Madam Foreperson, the jury has reached
its verdict?

-We have, Your Honor.
-What say you?

On the matter
of Stevens versus WKGB,

on the count of
wrongful termination,

we find in favor
of the defendant.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, thank
you for your service. We're adjourned.

That sucks.

I'm sorry, Kendall.

We knew it was a long shot.
You did great.

Well, maybe I'll get
a job playing Santa.

-Best of luck.
-Thanks again.

I'm sorry you lost, John.
I thought you were brilliant.

Oh, well, thank you.

This won't affect your
performance this evening, will it?

No, I'm-I'm sure not.
[Nose Whistles]

Uh--It's--

[Nose Whistling]
Uh--

If you could,
that would be great.

Thank you.

[Indistinct]

I can't believe that John is actually
gonna go through with this.

Maybe not.
Where is he?

Honey, he seemed a little
nervous. Are you sure he's okay?

Mommy, he went on tour when he was in
college. Isn't this exciting?

[Both Giggle]

It's just I've sent signals to you before.
You never picked up on them.

-Like when you'd dry-hump me?
-That would be one of them.

-I've just flirted with this entire bar.
-The people will cheer?

Well, I didn't get it in writing, but I
got oral commitments from half the room.

-I got the other half.
-[Sighs]

[Man] Want to get anything now,
or do you want to wait till--

-Are you okay?
-Yeah. I'm fine.

I--I just keep thinking
that I should be with him,

-but he said that he wanted to be alone.
-Then let him be alone.

[Exhales Deeply]

Isn't Christmas
supposed to be fun, Renee?

♪♪ [Rock]

[Cheering]

[Cheering]

[Whistling]

[Wolf Whistle]

-Oh! Oh! Oh!
-[Loud Cheering]

-♪♪ [Continues]
-You all ready for some music?

Yeah! Yeah!

Okay.

My man.
[Chuckles] All right.

Let's heat it up in here.

Oh!

-[Cheering]
-[Glass Shatters]

[Woman]
Hey!

-You're lookin' real good there, baby.
-[Screams]

Foxy.

-Isn't he darling?
-Oh, honey, I could eat him up.

All right.

♪ I want to tell you a story ♪

♪ Every man ought to know ♪

♪ If you want a little lovin'
Yeah ♪

♪ You gotta go real slow ♪

[Audience Screams]

♪ Hip
Hop ♪

[Screams]

-Ho!
-[Loud Screams]

He's not bad.

I was better though,
right?

♪♪ [Continues]

[Screaming]

Thank you so much.

[No Audible Dialogue]

-[Cheering]
-Thank you.

-[Whistles]
-You're a great audience.

Thank you very much.

-[Giggling]
-Well,

what if he actually thought he was good
and he wants to sing again?

We are--We are not gonna
let that happen.

I lied.

I only wanted to be alone
most of the night.

Hey.

Well, I'm gonna
go to bed.

-Unless you need me.
-I can make do.

-Night-night, Larry.
-Night, Renee.

So, how long
have you been here?

Uh, hour or so.

I've been singing
Christmas carols.

-Oh, right.
-No, I have.

-I've made a comeback.
-Mmm.

Sing me one? And not the one
that you played before.

You pick it.

Okay. Um,

-"The Little Drummer Boy."
-Hey. That's peppy.

Okay. Um,

"White Christmas."

-That one I know.
-[Clearing Throat]

-How does it start?
-Uh, uh, with a dream.

Right.

♪ I'm dreaming ♪

♪ Of a white Christmas ♪

♪ Just like the ones
I used to know ♪

♪ Where the treetops glisten ♪

♪ And children ♪

♪ Listen to hear ♪

♪ I'm dreaming ♪

♪ Of a white Christmas ♪

♪ With every Christmas card
I write ♪

♪ May your days be merry ♪

♪ And bright ♪

♪ And may all your ♪

♪ Christmases be ♪

♪ White ♪♪

[Woman]
You stinker!