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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,209 --> 00:00:03,336 ♪♪ [Slow Pop] 2 00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:13,430 [Sighs] 3 00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:43,043 -♪ I can think of younger days ♪ -[Screams] 4 00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:48,673 ♪ When living for my life ♪ 5 00:00:51,342 --> 00:00:55,221 ♪ Was everything a man could want to do ♪ 6 00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:02,562 ♪ I could never see ♪ 7 00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:07,817 ♪ Tomorrow ♪ 8 00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:13,031 ♪ I was never told ♪ 9 00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:18,369 ♪ About the sorrow ♪ 10 00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:23,249 ♪ And ♪ 11 00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,877 [Ally Joins In] ♪ How can you mend ♪ 12 00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:31,424 ♪ A broken heart ♪ 13 00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:37,263 -♪ How can you stop the rain ♪ -♪ How do you stop the rain ♪ 14 00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:40,183 -♪ From falling down ♪ -♪ Down ♪ 15 00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:45,980 [Women Join In] ♪ Tell me how can you stop ♪ 16 00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:51,027 ♪ The sun from shining ♪ 17 00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:58,701 ♪ What makes the world go round ♪ 18 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,955 ♪ And ♪ 19 00:02:02,038 --> 00:02:06,292 ♪ How can you mend ♪ 20 00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:10,088 [Ally Solo] ♪ This broken man ♪ 21 00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:16,136 ♪ How does a loser ♪ 22 00:02:16,219 --> 00:02:20,306 ♪ Ever win ♪ 23 00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,976 -Get out! -Ally? 24 00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:24,811 No, no. Get out. 25 00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:33,611 [Crying] ♪ My broken heart ♪ 26 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:40,243 ♪ And let me live again ♪♪ 27 00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:44,664 {\an8}♪ I've been down this road ♪ 28 00:02:44,747 --> 00:02:49,794 {\an8}♪ Walkin' the line that's painted by pride ♪ 29 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:52,505 {\an8}♪ And I have made mistakes in my life ♪ 30 00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:56,509 {\an8}♪ That I just can't hide ♪ 31 00:02:56,593 --> 00:03:00,430 {\an8}♪ Oh, I believe I am ready ♪ 32 00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:04,767 {\an8}♪ For what love has to bring Yeah, yeah ♪ 33 00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:08,938 {\an8}♪ I got myself together ♪ 34 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:12,233 {\an8}♪ Now I'm ready to sing ♪ 35 00:03:12,317 --> 00:03:15,486 {\an8}♪ I've been searching my soul tonight ♪ 36 00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:19,449 {\an8}♪ I know there's so much more to life ♪ 37 00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:22,660 {\an8}♪ Now I know I can shine a light ♪ 38 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:26,164 {\an8}♪ To find my way back home ♪ 39 00:03:26,247 --> 00:03:27,457 {\an8}♪ Oh ♪ 40 00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:31,211 {\an8}♪ Baby, yeah ♪ 41 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:33,463 {\an8}♪ Oh, yeah ♪♪ 42 00:04:20,134 --> 00:04:22,136 [Clears Throat] 43 00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:29,978 {\an8}-All right, what? -What? 44 00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:32,814 {\an8}You keep lookin' at me like I'm from Mars. Why? 45 00:04:32,897 --> 00:04:33,982 {\an8}I'm not looking at you like-- 46 00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:36,526 {\an8}Oh, no. Don't deny it. Just come--Just come clean. 47 00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:39,320 {\an8}All right. I'm worried about you. That's what. 48 00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:43,491 {\an8}-[Newspaper Rustles] -Why are you worried about me? 49 00:04:43,574 --> 00:04:46,494 {\an8}How many people get haunted by Al Green? 50 00:04:46,577 --> 00:04:49,163 {\an8}Look, it's a fantasy. You know that. I have fantasies. 51 00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:52,375 {\an8}You got Al Green popping up in court. Now he's in your bedroom. 52 00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:55,878 {\an8}-Eh, it should be Marilyn Manson? -You know what I mean. 53 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,840 {\an8}You said yourself, you thought he was really there. 54 00:04:58,923 --> 00:05:01,801 {\an8}No. I knew he wasn't really there. I knew I would never be that lucky. 55 00:05:01,884 --> 00:05:05,763 {\an8}Lucky to be with Al Green? Lucky to be with anybody who can sing my life-- 56 00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,598 {\an8}-sing my heart. -Which is? 57 00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:10,184 {\an8}-Broken. -Broken. 58 00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:13,521 {\an8}Yes, Renee. Broken. 59 00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:17,275 {\an8}And I don't mean Billy broke it or Greg broke it or-or-or any man in particular. 60 00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:20,320 {\an8}I-It's just one gigantic stress fracture. 61 00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:23,323 {\an8}-[Whispers] Ally-- -Do me a favor. 62 00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:26,534 {\an8}Call Elaine and tell her that I won't be coming in to work today... 63 00:05:26,617 --> 00:05:30,121 {\an8}or tomorrow or the day after that. 64 00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:32,040 {\an8}Why? 65 00:05:32,123 --> 00:05:35,543 {\an8}'Cause I'm staying in my room where life is beautiful. 66 00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,717 -[Door Slams] -[Sighs] 67 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,928 I'm really worried about her. She's got this hallucination going. 68 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:49,057 She's got Al Green singin' at her. She says she's not comin' out. 69 00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:52,310 -What's she doing with him? -Not that. 70 00:05:52,393 --> 00:05:54,979 John, this isn't her normal fantasy life. It's-- 71 00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:55,813 What's going on? 72 00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:58,274 Ally's cracking up. She's in her room now? 73 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,485 -Yes. -Is she naked? 74 00:06:00,568 --> 00:06:03,196 No. Look, John, 75 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:07,533 you seem to connect better with her than anyone with this inner-world stuff. 76 00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:10,495 You are just as weird. More so, even. 77 00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:13,998 I try to talk to her, but I think-- I think she just dismisses me as normal. 78 00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:17,627 She seems to respond better to nuts. 79 00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,712 -I think I should talk to her. -Why you? 80 00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:21,381 Because everybody else at one time or another 81 00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:22,507 has tried to connect to this loon. 82 00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:24,008 It's time she heard a little common sense. 83 00:06:24,092 --> 00:06:25,301 And that would come from you? 84 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,762 Well, what would you do, John? Go over there and-- 85 00:06:27,845 --> 00:06:28,805 ♪♪ [Disco] 86 00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:31,557 [Barry White] We got it together, didn't we? 87 00:06:32,934 --> 00:06:34,227 -♪♪ [Stops] -I heard that. 88 00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:36,020 -Heard what? -Barry White. 89 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:38,773 Exactly. If we want to connect with her on a "cracker" level, 90 00:06:38,856 --> 00:06:39,982 you'd get the assignment. 91 00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,819 But for common sense, I'm the one who should go. 92 00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,404 Yeah. I'd send Billy, but he might kiss her. 93 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:46,030 -Hey. -Bygones. 94 00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:48,157 Look, why don't we just leave her there? 95 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:51,244 If she's gonna behave like a 10-year-old, why do we have to get involved? 96 00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:55,748 -Because that's what friends do, Nelle. -I'm not her friend. 97 00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:57,959 -Then maybe you should just beat it. -Oh, yes. 98 00:06:58,042 --> 00:06:59,085 You like to intimidate. 99 00:06:59,168 --> 00:07:00,962 Ooh, I'm shaking so much, 100 00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:03,339 I probably look like your vibrator, don't I? 101 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:04,882 -[Billy] All right. -I'll go. 102 00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:09,095 -No, you won't. -Uh--[Stammering] Peanut. 103 00:07:09,178 --> 00:07:11,931 I'll go. Like Nelle says, enough is enough. 104 00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:13,099 Enough of what? 105 00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:14,642 Enough of this "I'll be lonely forever" stuff. 106 00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:18,062 Richard, did I ask you for advice? Did I ask you to come into my room? 107 00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:21,232 If I waited to be asked, I wouldn't be here, would I? 108 00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:23,568 If I waited for an invitation to go into a girl's bedroom, 109 00:07:23,651 --> 00:07:25,027 I'd never see the inside of one. 110 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:28,698 Yours disappoints me, by the way. The point is, I don't wait. I do, Ally. 111 00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:30,700 And that's your problem. You don't do, you wait. 112 00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:31,784 I wait? 113 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:34,036 Yeah, you wait. Look at you. Waiting for me to leave. 114 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:37,039 Waiting for the right guy to come along. It's not that strange, I admit. 115 00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:40,418 A lot of girls do that. They wait for the right guy to just come along. 116 00:07:40,501 --> 00:07:43,880 When it doesn't happen, it's back to the room they go. Some dream about Al Green. 117 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:47,049 Others look at themselves and go, "Mirror, mirror, what went wrong?" 118 00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:50,720 If you want a guy, you gotta go out and grab him. Just grab. 119 00:07:50,803 --> 00:07:54,265 That's why God gave man the handle for women to latch onto. 120 00:07:54,348 --> 00:07:57,560 -Uh, Fishism. -God gave man the handle? 121 00:07:57,643 --> 00:07:59,604 Suck it up, Ally. Get a grip. 122 00:07:59,687 --> 00:08:01,647 I don't even want to be with anybody right now. 123 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:04,233 I am concentrating on my career, okay? 124 00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:12,492 Ally, can I--can I speak to you in-in private? Hmm? 125 00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:15,745 -We are in private. -Right. I forget bedrooms are private. 126 00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:18,831 -It's just mine with all the cameras. -[Cowbell Clangs] 127 00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:22,627 -Oh, no. No, no. Richard! -Here--No. Here-Here's the thing. 128 00:08:22,710 --> 00:08:25,171 You need a guy. You want sex. 129 00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:27,089 You need a man to fulfill all your emotional needs 130 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,049 with an above-average handle. 131 00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:29,634 You feel bad for wanting all that, 132 00:08:29,717 --> 00:08:32,094 because you think it makes you weak, a bad feminist. 133 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:35,139 When in truth, every woman out there is exactly like you. They're all weak. 134 00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:38,017 God made you that way, and it's sacrilegious to deny it. 135 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,310 Go out there proud, Ally. 136 00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:42,939 You're not strange. You're not different. I am woman. Hear me whimper. 137 00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:45,650 [Dog Growling] 138 00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:49,862 You're trying to give me a Ling stare, aren't you? 139 00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:52,490 Uh, that's cute. I'm daunted. 140 00:08:52,573 --> 00:08:56,244 Look, while I'm here--[Blows] A little knee pit as a--as a pick-me-up? 141 00:08:56,327 --> 00:09:00,706 Richard--[Laughing] No, no, Richard! Richard! I want you to leave. 142 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:05,086 It is easier for me to pretend that you don't exist if you are out of my eyeline. 143 00:09:05,169 --> 00:09:07,463 -[Bones Cracking] -Bugger. 144 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:13,094 Whoa! Renee, you still looking for that catcher's mitt? 145 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:20,184 No, no, no. What-What's going on? Did you send him down here? 146 00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:21,185 -Yes! -No! 147 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:23,229 No, Richard. Good-bye. 148 00:09:25,606 --> 00:09:28,067 What? You told him you were worried about me? 149 00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:29,777 Actually, I-- 150 00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:32,572 -I went to tell the Biscuit-- -I can't take a day off? 151 00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,365 That-That's a big crisis? 152 00:09:34,448 --> 00:09:38,077 -Ever since that case last week-- -Wh-Wh-What case? 153 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,121 The case where the woman was making up her lover in her head. 154 00:09:40,204 --> 00:09:41,330 That case. 155 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,542 You've crossed a fantasy divider into hallucinations. 156 00:09:44,625 --> 00:09:48,087 Now, I admit, I don't get this imaginary world you dip into. 157 00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:53,259 But what I do know, you've always been in control of it. 158 00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:55,011 Until now. 159 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:59,682 -Now you seem lost. -Oh, that's ridiculous. 160 00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:02,059 Are you lost? 161 00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:04,520 ♪ No one, no one ♪ 162 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,773 ♪ Ever told us about ♪ 163 00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:11,360 ♪ The sorrow ♪♪ 164 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:14,405 Tell me what you're thinking right this second, Ally. Tell me. 165 00:10:16,324 --> 00:10:19,452 This woman, in that case-- 166 00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:22,955 She made the guy up, and-and so did I-- 167 00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:25,166 or-or I have, I guess. 168 00:10:25,249 --> 00:10:29,253 Every time I hear a love song on the radio or I go to a movie, 169 00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:35,134 I tap into this guy who I've never met but I know is out there. 170 00:10:35,217 --> 00:10:39,597 But he's not out there. 171 00:10:41,223 --> 00:10:44,310 A-And I-I guess I'm... 172 00:10:44,393 --> 00:10:46,979 finally starting to deal with that. 173 00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:51,359 -[Sighs] -John Cage told me-- 174 00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:53,819 J-John--Do you know-- 175 00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:57,406 John, he-he knows me. He--Some-Somehow, he-- 176 00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:00,910 -What'd he say? -[Breathes Deeply] 177 00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:03,746 He told me that the only world that wouldn't disappoint me... 178 00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:07,458 would be the one I make up. 179 00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:12,129 [Laughing] 180 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:15,091 And-And-And I think the problem is, Renee, is that... 181 00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:18,469 I have always fought against realizing that. 182 00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:23,808 I... had my ear to the door. [Laughs] 183 00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:25,184 Uh-huh. 184 00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:27,645 I heard some of that nonsense Richard Fish was saying. 185 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:32,942 But... one thing he did say... 186 00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:35,027 about not waiting for the guy-- 187 00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:37,363 On that he's right. 188 00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:43,035 Starting tomorrow, you and I both are going to be dating machines. 189 00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:45,037 -Oh! -Never mind. 190 00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:48,624 They're out there. We just gotta go get 'em, and that's what we're gonna do. 191 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:51,043 -Dating? -Absolutely. 192 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:54,380 -But what about my hair? I can't. -It's doing great. 193 00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,175 Trust me, okay? 194 00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:01,345 They're out there. 195 00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:09,520 [Bell Dings] 196 00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:11,856 -[Chattering] -[Phone Rings] 197 00:12:11,939 --> 00:12:14,442 -Oh, Ally, hello. Um-- -Hi. 198 00:12:14,525 --> 00:12:16,861 -Oh. -You're looking well. 199 00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:20,239 -Thank you, John. -Mm-hmm. 200 00:12:20,322 --> 00:12:22,408 -Ally. -Hi. 201 00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:24,785 -Hi. -How's everything? 202 00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:28,080 Fine. With you? 203 00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:30,207 -Oh-- -Fine. 204 00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:31,333 Good. 205 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,338 -[Elaine] Ally. -[Angrily] What? 206 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:41,427 Sorry. You didn't deserve that. 207 00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:45,014 -But why should that stop you? -I-It's just that... 208 00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:48,142 people are saying hi to me like-like-- 209 00:12:48,225 --> 00:12:49,769 I-I don't know. 210 00:12:49,852 --> 00:12:52,897 Like you're an escaped mental patient? 211 00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:56,567 Yes, Elaine. Something like that. 212 00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:58,736 [Ling] Ally, hi! How you doing? 213 00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:01,447 Okay, that does it. 214 00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:03,741 Ling, can I speak to you in private, please? 215 00:13:03,824 --> 00:13:05,326 Sure. That'd be fun. 216 00:13:05,409 --> 00:13:09,663 And cut out the "nice." 217 00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:12,041 [Low Growl] 218 00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:22,301 Okay, I know you do hair. Do you do makeup? 219 00:13:22,384 --> 00:13:25,095 Look at me. Is my face not flawless? 220 00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:26,472 Yes, Ling, it's without flaw. 221 00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:30,142 Is that a "yes" you do makeup, or "no" because you don't need makeup? 222 00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:33,312 I don't need makeup, but yes, I do it. 223 00:13:33,395 --> 00:13:34,438 Cou-Could you-- 224 00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:39,652 Well, I-I've--I've decided to put myself out there. 225 00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:42,571 I am going to date every guy I can... 226 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:45,407 under the theory "you never know." 227 00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:49,286 And I... would-would like to look my best. 228 00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:53,624 Would you do me? 229 00:13:53,707 --> 00:13:56,836 Would I do you? 230 00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:58,796 What? 231 00:13:58,879 --> 00:14:01,465 Ally, I have a friend. 232 00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:03,509 We won't mention any names. 233 00:14:03,592 --> 00:14:05,594 She doesn't do very well with men either. 234 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,847 And she could never quite figure it out. 235 00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:11,183 She wanted to find somebody-- wanted somebody to find her-- 236 00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,018 until she realized... 237 00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:18,440 maybe instead of a man, she should be looking for a woman. 238 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:21,735 Oh, well, I'm-I'm looking for a man, Ling. 239 00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:24,321 Have you ever been with a woman? 240 00:14:25,322 --> 00:14:29,618 No. Have you? 241 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,912 My friend-- 242 00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:34,373 She thought the idea ridiculous, 243 00:14:34,456 --> 00:14:36,709 until she realized... 244 00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:41,505 men don't really know how a woman likes to be touched. 245 00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:44,633 Only a woman can really know. 246 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:47,678 So one night my friend-- 247 00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:51,098 -She let herself. -Let herself? 248 00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:54,560 Be touched... by another woman. 249 00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:58,647 [Sighs] It was so knowing. 250 00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:03,944 And it wasn't until that point that my friend had any idea-- 251 00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:06,030 any idea at all. 252 00:15:08,198 --> 00:15:12,161 -Oh, well, um--Hmm. -Hmm. 253 00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:14,121 I'm happy for he-her. 254 00:15:15,497 --> 00:15:17,124 Stick out your finger. 255 00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:22,838 -Why? -Please. 256 00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,716 Could I just... lick it? 257 00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:27,801 Just to try something? 258 00:15:30,137 --> 00:15:32,806 Um-- 259 00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:36,310 Well, uh, okay. 260 00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:41,190 Eww! Gross! 261 00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:42,650 What's going on? 262 00:15:42,733 --> 00:15:45,653 I tricked her to see if she's a lesbian. I think she is one. 263 00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:52,326 I am not a lesbian! 264 00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:56,455 -Oh. Hi. -[Wind Whistling] 265 00:15:58,415 --> 00:16:01,794 [Engine Revving, Tires Squealing] 266 00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:04,254 [Gasping] 267 00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,257 You think all lesbians are vicious. 268 00:16:07,341 --> 00:16:10,386 Oh--Oh, no. No, I don't. 269 00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,805 I-- [Laughs] I-- 270 00:16:12,888 --> 00:16:18,477 You know, I-I wrote letters to, um--to ABC when they canceled Ellen. [Chuckles] 271 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,896 -You hate lesbians. -I don't! 272 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,732 -You do. -I don't. I swear. I don't, I don't. 273 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,986 I wish that there were more, because then there'd be more men to go around. 274 00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:28,779 You know what? 275 00:16:28,862 --> 00:16:33,158 [Clears Throat] Why-Why are you here? 276 00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:37,329 I have matter. Mr. Fish is representing me. 277 00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:40,290 -What sort of matter? -Well-- 278 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:46,171 I'm trying to have a baby, and my insurance company... 279 00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:50,759 is refusing coverage of the fertilization process. 280 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,971 -So I'm suing them. -Oh. Well, good luck. 281 00:16:56,432 --> 00:16:57,891 Thank you. 282 00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:01,645 [Door Opens, Closes] 283 00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:04,231 -[Screams] -Oh, oh, oh! Watch out! 284 00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:06,316 -[Clattering] -[Groans] 285 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:10,154 [Gasping] 286 00:17:10,237 --> 00:17:11,196 John? 287 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,160 John? 288 00:17:17,953 --> 00:17:21,582 John, are you-- are you all right? 289 00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:25,419 Yes. I'm gathering some air. 290 00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:28,047 Oh. Oh. 291 00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:30,049 Oh. 292 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:34,511 [Grunts] Oh. 293 00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:36,764 I'm sorry. I-- 294 00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:40,434 It's quite all right. I was errant. 295 00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:45,355 -You seem kind of limp. -No, I'm fine. 296 00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:47,941 -Are you? -Yes! 297 00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:52,237 Why are you looking at me like that? 298 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:55,199 Ally, I'm going to ask you something, 299 00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:59,953 -and please don't drop me, okay? -Okay. 300 00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:04,500 Actually, I'm not going to ask you anything. 301 00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:07,169 I'll opt to tell you something. 302 00:18:08,712 --> 00:18:13,342 Your eyes... have looked dead to me lately. 303 00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:17,054 They've lost that optimism that you used to have, even when you were crying. 304 00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:21,433 It's like the hope has drained right out. 305 00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:25,437 You promised. 306 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:29,691 [Grunts] 307 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:34,738 Ally-- 308 00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:39,284 You tell me that I can only be happy in a pretend world, John. 309 00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:43,163 You tell me that the guy I'm looking for isn't out there. 310 00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:45,958 Who do you think drained me of all the hope? 311 00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:51,588 -I apologize. -But you're wrong. 312 00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:55,092 Ling is gonna do my hair. Renee and I are gonna go on a mad dating spree. 313 00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:59,429 And the guy out there looking for me? I'm gonna find him. 314 00:18:59,513 --> 00:19:03,058 ♪♪ [Disco] 315 00:19:03,892 --> 00:19:06,186 [Male Group] ♪ Cupid ♪ 316 00:19:07,771 --> 00:19:11,650 ♪ Cupid, draw back your bow ♪ 317 00:19:11,733 --> 00:19:15,445 ♪ And let your arrow go ♪ 318 00:19:15,529 --> 00:19:18,448 ♪ Straight to my lover's heart ♪ 319 00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:20,534 ♪ For me ♪ 320 00:19:20,617 --> 00:19:23,036 ♪ Nobody but me ♪ [Continues, Indistinct] 321 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,955 The pain aside, I gotta stand over the toilet 322 00:19:25,038 --> 00:19:26,707 with a little sieve waiting to catch it, 323 00:19:26,790 --> 00:19:28,750 so they can whip it over to pathology. 324 00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:32,671 The joy of hearing that little plunk. I looked down. Know what I saw? 325 00:19:32,754 --> 00:19:36,967 -Your kidney stone? -Size of a pea. 326 00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:40,888 ♪ Nobody but me ♪ 327 00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:44,850 ♪ Cupid, please hear my cry ♪ 328 00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:48,604 ♪ And let your arrow fly ♪ 329 00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:51,523 ♪ Straight to my lover's heart ♪ 330 00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:54,276 -♪ For me ♪ -♪ Straight to my lover's heart ♪ 331 00:19:55,402 --> 00:19:57,529 ♪ Now I don't mean to bother you ♪ 332 00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:59,531 ♪ But I'm in distress ♪ 333 00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:03,035 ♪ There's danger of me losing all of my happiness ♪ 334 00:20:03,118 --> 00:20:08,081 ♪ For I love a girl who doesn't know I exist ♪ 335 00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:10,500 ♪ And this you can fix ♪ [Continues, Indistinct] 336 00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:13,045 I don't know what this word "feminism" even means, you know? 337 00:20:13,128 --> 00:20:15,255 I mean, the girls I know, 338 00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:18,842 they want you to get the door, they want you to pick up the tab. 339 00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:21,929 But ask 'em to rinse off a couple of dishes and it's like, 340 00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:24,264 "Whoa, I'm a feminist." 341 00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:28,060 -Well, what? They like dirty plates? -♪ And this you can fix ♪ 342 00:20:28,143 --> 00:20:30,062 ♪ So ♪ 343 00:20:30,145 --> 00:20:33,899 ♪ Cupid, draw back your bow ♪ 344 00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:37,527 ♪ And let your arrow go ♪ 345 00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:40,739 ♪ Straight to my lover's heart ♪ 346 00:20:40,822 --> 00:20:42,866 -♪ For me ♪ -♪ Straight to my lover's heart ♪ 347 00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:46,620 -♪ My tears keep fallin' ♪ -♪ Straight to my lover's heart ♪ 348 00:20:46,703 --> 00:20:49,414 ♪ I've got to have her love now, now ♪ 349 00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:52,709 -♪ Cupid ♪ -♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪♪ 350 00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:55,504 We've dated everybody. He isn't out there. 351 00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:58,173 We've only done New England. 352 00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,425 Seriously, there-there are no good men. 353 00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:04,137 -Yes, there are. -Well, where are they then? 354 00:21:04,221 --> 00:21:07,432 At home with their wives. 355 00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:08,558 It's time for me to go home. 356 00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:10,143 -You coming? -Ah, no. 357 00:21:10,227 --> 00:21:11,561 I've actually got some work. 358 00:21:11,645 --> 00:21:13,939 -[Renee] Okay. -Mmm. 359 00:21:14,022 --> 00:21:16,441 I'll see you later. 360 00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:18,610 -Ling. -Renee. 361 00:21:21,571 --> 00:21:25,158 Men are out there. The good ones just don't go to bars. 362 00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:27,953 -Where do they go then? -Well, they're all over. 363 00:21:28,036 --> 00:21:30,580 -Want me to bring you some? -Excuse me? 364 00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:34,126 I'll round some up. 365 00:21:34,209 --> 00:21:38,255 Oh, right. Wait-Wait a second. From-From your escort service. 366 00:21:38,338 --> 00:21:40,424 No, just men-- the ones out there in the world. 367 00:21:40,507 --> 00:21:41,258 Mm-hmm. 368 00:21:41,341 --> 00:21:42,968 On my way to work tomorrow I'll look around. 369 00:21:43,051 --> 00:21:45,262 I'll ask the cute ones to come over. You can choose. 370 00:21:45,345 --> 00:21:48,765 You'll just walk up to cute men and ask them to come over? 371 00:21:48,849 --> 00:21:51,018 -Yes. -And what? 372 00:21:51,101 --> 00:21:52,269 You think they'll follow you? 373 00:21:52,352 --> 00:21:55,105 If I ask them to. 374 00:21:55,188 --> 00:21:57,899 [Laughing] 375 00:21:57,983 --> 00:22:00,652 They'll-They'll just come over if you ask. 376 00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:04,031 -Just like that. -Ally, I don't even have to ask. 377 00:22:04,114 --> 00:22:06,533 If I look at a man, he'll come. 378 00:22:06,616 --> 00:22:09,036 Fine, Ling. 379 00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:12,581 You round up the cute men, and I'll pick. 380 00:22:12,664 --> 00:22:15,500 -Fine. -Okay. 381 00:22:38,648 --> 00:22:42,652 It's not that I become him. I let him pass through me-- 382 00:22:42,736 --> 00:22:44,404 the confidence, the optimism. 383 00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:48,575 And I let his spirit fill me. Yeah, try it. 384 00:22:48,658 --> 00:22:49,618 ♪♪ [Disco] 385 00:22:49,701 --> 00:22:50,827 [Barry White] We got it together, baby. 386 00:22:50,911 --> 00:22:52,662 We got it together, baby. 387 00:22:55,123 --> 00:22:57,209 We definitely got our thing together, don't we, baby? 388 00:22:57,292 --> 00:22:58,210 We definitely got it together. 389 00:22:59,753 --> 00:23:01,630 -[Needle Scratches Record] -Thi--It just--It just feels silly. 390 00:23:01,713 --> 00:23:02,589 Well, it is silly. 391 00:23:02,672 --> 00:23:07,844 But once I let myself feel the change, it emanates from me, Ally. 392 00:23:07,928 --> 00:23:11,348 Yeah, and women-- Yeah, they love me now. 393 00:23:11,431 --> 00:23:13,558 -They do? -Mm-hmm. 394 00:23:13,642 --> 00:23:15,685 -Hey. -Just watch. 395 00:23:15,769 --> 00:23:17,687 ♪♪ [Disco] 396 00:23:17,771 --> 00:23:19,940 [Barry White] I mean, really, when you really sit and think about it, 397 00:23:20,023 --> 00:23:22,567 isn't it really, really nice? 398 00:23:25,987 --> 00:23:30,617 Nobody but you--[Chuckles] and me. 399 00:23:32,285 --> 00:23:35,288 Well, she doesn't count. She likes anything in pants. 400 00:23:35,372 --> 00:23:37,624 -[Door Opens] -[Nelle] Hey. 401 00:23:37,707 --> 00:23:39,543 -♪♪ [Slows, Stops] -What's up? 402 00:23:39,626 --> 00:23:41,586 Ally and I are just discussing a little body therapy. 403 00:23:41,670 --> 00:23:42,629 Oh. 404 00:23:42,712 --> 00:23:44,297 -Yeah. -Fun. 405 00:23:44,381 --> 00:23:46,716 -Yeah. -Can we talk? 406 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,803 Well, we-- Yeah, all right. Okay. 407 00:23:49,886 --> 00:23:52,097 -[Door Opens] -What is that about? 408 00:23:52,180 --> 00:23:54,099 -[Door Opens] -I'll find out for you. 409 00:23:56,017 --> 00:23:59,813 -[Door Opens, Closes] -♪♪ [Disco] 410 00:23:59,896 --> 00:24:02,732 [Barry White] We've got it together, baby. 411 00:24:09,781 --> 00:24:11,700 ♪ Ahh ♪ 412 00:24:11,783 --> 00:24:15,745 ♪ My first, my last ♪ 413 00:24:15,829 --> 00:24:17,622 ♪ My everything ♪ 414 00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:21,710 ♪ And the answer to ♪ 415 00:24:21,793 --> 00:24:24,588 ♪ All my dreams ♪ 416 00:24:26,256 --> 00:24:30,469 -♪ You're my sun, my moon ♪ -[Women] ♪ Sun, moon ♪ 417 00:24:30,552 --> 00:24:33,513 ♪ My guiding star ♪ 418 00:24:34,806 --> 00:24:37,517 ♪ My kind of wonderful ♪ 419 00:24:38,518 --> 00:24:40,854 ♪ That's what you are ♪ 420 00:24:40,937 --> 00:24:44,691 [Pitch Slows, Warbles] ♪ I know, there's only ♪ 421 00:24:44,774 --> 00:24:48,320 -♪ Only one like you ♪♪ -Hey. 422 00:24:48,403 --> 00:24:50,780 -How-How's the big case goin'? -My deposition is about to start. 423 00:24:50,864 --> 00:24:52,824 I'll have a better assessment after it's over. 424 00:24:52,908 --> 00:24:54,451 Oh, well, good. Good luck. 425 00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:58,872 [Door Opens, Closes] 426 00:24:58,955 --> 00:25:01,374 [Phone Rings] 427 00:25:01,458 --> 00:25:03,835 I don't like the way she runs to you. 428 00:25:03,919 --> 00:25:06,004 She doesn't run to me. 429 00:25:06,087 --> 00:25:10,342 Oh, she does. She uses you, John. 430 00:25:10,425 --> 00:25:12,802 -Every time she feels some emotional-- -She's a friend. 431 00:25:12,886 --> 00:25:15,847 Is that concept completely foreign to you? 432 00:25:15,931 --> 00:25:19,184 No, no, I get the concepts. It's usually a two-way thing. 433 00:25:19,267 --> 00:25:20,977 Ally only comes to you when it's about her. 434 00:25:21,061 --> 00:25:23,021 Well, with Ally, everything's about her. 435 00:25:23,104 --> 00:25:25,440 Exactly, and everybody here tolerates it. 436 00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:28,193 She's having some crisis today, because she thinks, uh-oh, 437 00:25:28,276 --> 00:25:29,694 she might not find the perfect mate? 438 00:25:29,778 --> 00:25:33,365 I mean, she can't settle like everybody else. Oh, no, that would be a disaster. 439 00:25:33,448 --> 00:25:36,076 Don't you get fed up with all her nonsense? 440 00:25:36,159 --> 00:25:38,662 Do you just think everybody settles for less? 441 00:25:38,745 --> 00:25:41,248 -Of course they do. -Have you? 442 00:25:42,958 --> 00:25:45,252 I'm not talking about you and me, John. 443 00:25:45,335 --> 00:25:48,171 W-Well, I am. Have you settled for less with me? 444 00:25:48,255 --> 00:25:50,757 Well, I don't really feel "settled" at all. 445 00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:52,092 Well, th-that's a nice dodge. 446 00:25:52,175 --> 00:25:55,554 -You're the one dodging the issue. -Uh, what issue? 447 00:25:55,637 --> 00:26:00,433 About Ally running to you every time she needs a little heart rub. 448 00:26:00,517 --> 00:26:03,061 John, uh--Oh. 449 00:26:03,144 --> 00:26:06,189 Oh, I'm sorry. Uh, wh-when you have a second-- 450 00:26:06,273 --> 00:26:10,110 He has one now. 451 00:26:12,779 --> 00:26:15,782 Um--[Clears Throat] Is she upset? 452 00:26:15,865 --> 00:26:18,368 Well, she just-- 453 00:26:18,451 --> 00:26:20,412 What? 454 00:26:20,495 --> 00:26:23,248 Well, I think she feels threatened, 455 00:26:23,331 --> 00:26:26,918 because I connect with your imaginary life. 456 00:26:27,002 --> 00:26:30,547 -That's all. -Do you connect with it? 457 00:26:30,630 --> 00:26:33,967 I think I probably understand it better than most. 458 00:26:34,050 --> 00:26:34,884 Do you-- 459 00:26:37,262 --> 00:26:41,433 Do you think that I'm crazy if I retreat into my room and-- 460 00:26:44,644 --> 00:26:46,438 Never mind. Hmm. 461 00:26:48,398 --> 00:26:51,610 What do you do... in your room? 462 00:26:51,693 --> 00:26:56,489 -Do you see him? -Well, um, sometimes I imagine... 463 00:26:56,573 --> 00:26:59,951 taking a long walk with him next to me... 464 00:27:00,035 --> 00:27:03,622 or sitting by a fire or a merry-go-round. 465 00:27:03,705 --> 00:27:05,457 That's my favorite. 466 00:27:05,540 --> 00:27:09,336 Merry-go-round? Women and riding horses? [Inhales Sharply] 467 00:27:09,419 --> 00:27:10,503 Uh, John! 468 00:27:10,587 --> 00:27:12,964 -[Muttering] -We're not even on the horses. 469 00:27:13,048 --> 00:27:16,593 We're in one of those carriages--you know, probably a Cinderella thing. 470 00:27:16,676 --> 00:27:19,137 [Laughs] I don't--I don't know. 471 00:27:21,723 --> 00:27:24,142 I pitched a no-hitter in my room. 472 00:27:24,225 --> 00:27:26,019 Wha-- 473 00:27:26,102 --> 00:27:30,190 When I was nine, I got cut from Little League. 474 00:27:31,191 --> 00:27:33,818 And I went home. I cried for days. 475 00:27:33,902 --> 00:27:35,445 And I started... 476 00:27:35,528 --> 00:27:40,116 my own imaginary Little League in my room. 477 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:42,452 I got to pitch even. 478 00:27:42,535 --> 00:27:45,872 I still lost most of the time. I had esteem problems. 479 00:27:45,955 --> 00:27:48,333 But one day in July-- 480 00:27:48,416 --> 00:27:52,170 It was a hot day-- I pitched a no-hitter. 481 00:27:52,253 --> 00:27:56,841 I remember every batter like it was yesterday. 482 00:27:57,550 --> 00:28:01,513 -In your room? -Well, in my room or not, 483 00:28:01,596 --> 00:28:04,683 the memory is as real as any from childhood. 484 00:28:04,766 --> 00:28:06,893 And it was wonderful. 485 00:28:06,976 --> 00:28:10,188 Nothing crazy about it. 486 00:28:14,693 --> 00:28:17,153 Thank you. 487 00:28:17,237 --> 00:28:18,530 [Richard] Ally? 488 00:28:18,613 --> 00:28:22,033 -[Clears Throat] -Just-- 489 00:28:22,117 --> 00:28:24,369 -Bygones. -Uh, bygones for what? 490 00:28:24,452 --> 00:28:26,788 Whatever. I-I could use your help. 491 00:28:26,871 --> 00:28:29,541 -Uh, Margaret Camaro hired us. -I-I heard. 492 00:28:29,624 --> 00:28:32,085 Yeah, imagine a bulldog like that wanting offspring. 493 00:28:32,168 --> 00:28:35,422 Anyway, could you sit in on the deposition in case anything legal pops up? 494 00:28:35,505 --> 00:28:38,508 -Well, I-I-- -Also, Ling did her little roundup. 495 00:28:38,591 --> 00:28:40,301 -Your men'll be here at noon. -My men? 496 00:28:40,385 --> 00:28:43,847 Noon. She said she'd, uh, do your hair if you want. 497 00:29:21,509 --> 00:29:25,263 Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize this stall was taken. 498 00:29:25,346 --> 00:29:28,099 You didn't realize? Well, did the locked door give you a hint? 499 00:29:28,183 --> 00:29:30,268 Well, sometimes they stick. 500 00:29:30,351 --> 00:29:33,146 Ooh! Whew. 501 00:29:33,229 --> 00:29:35,398 -While I'm here-- -Elaine! 502 00:29:35,482 --> 00:29:39,444 I couldn't help but notice you're upset. I want you to know that I'm here for you. 503 00:29:39,527 --> 00:29:43,239 Well, I'm upset because you're here! Could you get out please? 504 00:29:43,323 --> 00:29:45,408 -[Door Opens] -It's hard for women to open up-- 505 00:29:45,492 --> 00:29:48,745 especially when they're not vulnerable by nature. 506 00:29:48,828 --> 00:29:52,123 If you don't get out of my stall right now, I'm gonna dig my heel in your shin! 507 00:29:52,207 --> 00:29:54,751 You're internalizing, Nelle. If you need-- 508 00:29:54,834 --> 00:29:55,960 -[Stomps] -[Screams] 509 00:29:56,044 --> 00:29:59,923 -Elaine? -[Nelle] Close the door! 510 00:30:00,006 --> 00:30:01,966 That bitch. 511 00:30:02,050 --> 00:30:04,260 [Door Slamming] 512 00:30:07,555 --> 00:30:09,599 -Nelle? -Get out! 513 00:30:09,682 --> 00:30:12,894 I'm trying to go to the bathroom, for God's sakes! Just get out. 514 00:30:12,977 --> 00:30:15,688 [Stammering] Pooper. 515 00:30:15,772 --> 00:30:17,482 Ye-Yes, yeah. 516 00:30:17,565 --> 00:30:20,610 -[Sighs] -[Door Opens, Closes] 517 00:30:20,693 --> 00:30:24,489 Your client has covered infertility expenses for other employees. 518 00:30:24,572 --> 00:30:27,158 With me they deny it. It's wrongful. 519 00:30:27,242 --> 00:30:29,786 Yes, well, have you been diagnosed as infertile? 520 00:30:29,869 --> 00:30:33,206 I've tried artificial insemination six times. 521 00:30:33,289 --> 00:30:35,667 Each time the sperm rejected me. 522 00:30:35,750 --> 00:30:38,628 That to me constitutes evidence of infertility. 523 00:30:38,711 --> 00:30:39,796 [Mouths Word] 524 00:30:39,879 --> 00:30:41,965 Yes, well, uh-uh, Ms. Camaro, 525 00:30:42,048 --> 00:30:45,301 have you ever tried getting pregnant the old-fashioned way? 526 00:30:45,385 --> 00:30:47,887 Why should I have to do that? 527 00:30:47,971 --> 00:30:50,640 Well, the last time I checked, that remains... 528 00:30:50,723 --> 00:30:52,976 the most natural and efficient way of fertilizing the egg. 529 00:30:53,059 --> 00:30:54,769 The age of technology. 530 00:30:54,853 --> 00:30:58,022 Now suddenly we're fans of old-fashioned. That's just rich. 531 00:30:58,106 --> 00:31:01,317 Ms. Camaro--By the way, is that your real name? 532 00:31:01,401 --> 00:31:02,902 Yes. 533 00:31:02,986 --> 00:31:07,031 Don't you think before you petition an insurance company... 534 00:31:07,115 --> 00:31:09,534 to pay for your efforts to get pregnant, 535 00:31:09,617 --> 00:31:14,664 that you should perhaps give it the old college try... with a man? 536 00:31:14,747 --> 00:31:17,584 I-I object to opposing counsel hitting on my client. 537 00:31:17,667 --> 00:31:20,712 -Move for costs. Where-Where's the judge? -Ri-Richard. 538 00:31:20,795 --> 00:31:24,549 I shouldn't have to give it any "college try," Mr. Stone. 539 00:31:24,632 --> 00:31:26,676 What kind of message does that send? 540 00:31:26,759 --> 00:31:31,723 I should put out a call for men to come fertilize my eggs? 541 00:31:32,765 --> 00:31:35,351 Think of the lines. 542 00:31:35,435 --> 00:31:37,687 Oh, bygones. 543 00:31:40,565 --> 00:31:43,776 -I'll talk to them and get back to you. -Well, that'd be great. 544 00:31:43,860 --> 00:31:46,362 -Ally, your men are here. -[Ally] Mm-hmm? 545 00:31:46,446 --> 00:31:48,740 -Hurry up and pick one. -My-My-My-- 546 00:31:50,283 --> 00:31:52,327 [Chattering] 547 00:31:55,788 --> 00:31:57,707 Oh, yeah. 548 00:31:57,790 --> 00:32:01,920 Well, d--Um, how--Eh-- 549 00:32:02,003 --> 00:32:04,464 They followed me home. Hurry up. 550 00:32:04,547 --> 00:32:06,633 Go choose. 551 00:32:09,510 --> 00:32:11,137 -Hi. -Hi. 552 00:32:11,220 --> 00:32:14,766 -I'm Ally. -I'm Joel. 553 00:32:14,849 --> 00:32:18,853 [Vonda] ♪ Did you ever have to make up your mind ♪ 554 00:32:18,937 --> 00:32:23,107 ♪ To pick up on one and leave the other behind ♪ 555 00:32:23,191 --> 00:32:27,946 ♪ It's not often easy and not often kind ♪ 556 00:32:28,029 --> 00:32:31,532 ♪ Did you ever have to make up your mind ♪ 557 00:32:31,616 --> 00:32:35,787 -♪ Did you ever have to finally decide ♪ -[Man] ♪ Decide ♪ 558 00:32:35,870 --> 00:32:39,791 ♪ To say yes to one and let the other one ride ♪ 559 00:32:39,874 --> 00:32:43,920 ♪ There's so many changes and tears you must hide ♪ 560 00:32:44,003 --> 00:32:49,092 -♪ Did you ever have to finally decide ♪ -♪ Decide ♪ 561 00:32:49,175 --> 00:32:52,303 ♪ Say yes to one and let the other one ride ♪ 562 00:32:52,387 --> 00:32:56,766 ♪ Did you ever have to finally decide ♪♪ 563 00:32:56,849 --> 00:32:58,768 [Door Opens] 564 00:32:58,851 --> 00:33:01,813 Are we gonna talk or slam doors? 565 00:33:01,896 --> 00:33:05,441 It was a bathroom door. Forgive me for wanting some privacy. 566 00:33:05,525 --> 00:33:08,444 -What is going on? -I don't like your friendship with Ally. 567 00:33:08,528 --> 00:33:09,821 And? 568 00:33:09,904 --> 00:33:11,155 And the next time she comes into your office... 569 00:33:11,239 --> 00:33:14,367 looking for emotional support, I would like you to ask her to leave-- 570 00:33:14,450 --> 00:33:16,369 through the window! 571 00:33:16,452 --> 00:33:19,122 Well, that remark tells me you don't like her. I don't-- 572 00:33:19,205 --> 00:33:21,624 which makes your friendship with her a bigger problem. 573 00:33:21,708 --> 00:33:24,168 Worst of all, I don't like her influence on you. 574 00:33:24,252 --> 00:33:26,045 Her influence being-- 575 00:33:26,129 --> 00:33:28,006 That it's okay to live in-in fantasyland. 576 00:33:28,089 --> 00:33:31,134 That it's romantic to hold out for Prince Charming. 577 00:33:31,217 --> 00:33:33,302 That there's a soul mate out there for everybody. 578 00:33:33,386 --> 00:33:36,014 Because you don't believe in any of that? 579 00:33:36,097 --> 00:33:39,976 I did once, and then I turned nine. 580 00:33:40,059 --> 00:33:43,604 Look, if she wants to retreat inside her childhood whimsy, fine. 581 00:33:43,688 --> 00:33:45,523 But, John, you have tendencies to do that too, 582 00:33:45,606 --> 00:33:49,068 and-and that's why I don't like her influence. 583 00:33:49,152 --> 00:33:53,823 And if that makes me some-some subzero ice queen, fine. Maybe I'm not your type. 584 00:33:53,906 --> 00:33:54,907 You're jealous of her. 585 00:33:54,991 --> 00:33:57,326 Gee. Where did you get that idea? 586 00:33:57,410 --> 00:33:59,704 Well, this anger is not an attractive quality. 587 00:33:59,787 --> 00:34:01,664 Too bad. 588 00:34:01,748 --> 00:34:04,042 [Imitates John's Stammer] Poop. 589 00:34:05,501 --> 00:34:07,628 Get out! 590 00:34:11,799 --> 00:34:14,343 And that smile therapy thing-- 591 00:34:15,470 --> 00:34:17,221 Hate that. 592 00:34:19,682 --> 00:34:21,642 [Door Slams] 593 00:34:34,530 --> 00:34:36,866 -You rejected all of them? -Well-- 594 00:34:36,949 --> 00:34:37,575 What "well"? 595 00:34:37,658 --> 00:34:39,327 They were beautiful, but do I really want to be with a guy... 596 00:34:39,410 --> 00:34:41,496 who you can just round up off of a street corner? 597 00:34:41,579 --> 00:34:44,040 -I mean, what kind of a guy-- -So it was a mass rejection? 598 00:34:44,123 --> 00:34:48,628 The guy that I want to meet is not gonna respond to a cattle call. 599 00:34:48,711 --> 00:34:51,881 Ally, I told them you were beautiful. Assuming the man you want to meet... 600 00:34:51,964 --> 00:34:54,467 is single and equipped with a dumb stick, he would have responded. 601 00:34:54,550 --> 00:34:57,428 You think you're just gonna bump into him at a book store both reaching for Balzac? 602 00:34:57,512 --> 00:34:58,554 It doesn't work that way. 603 00:34:58,638 --> 00:35:00,890 While you're looking for a mate, he's looking to mate, period. 604 00:35:00,973 --> 00:35:03,643 You know, Ling, I feel really sorry for you. 605 00:35:03,726 --> 00:35:05,144 Why? Because it's hard being perfect? 606 00:35:05,228 --> 00:35:05,728 Hmm. 607 00:35:05,812 --> 00:35:08,689 If you have such a low opinion of men, 608 00:35:08,773 --> 00:35:10,775 that they're only ruled by their dumb stick, 609 00:35:10,858 --> 00:35:13,277 and you have such little faith in relationships, 610 00:35:13,361 --> 00:35:15,154 what kind of a guy are you gonna end up with? 611 00:35:15,238 --> 00:35:16,739 Crouton. Artichoke. 612 00:35:16,823 --> 00:35:18,074 Your problem is you don't really want to meet anybody. 613 00:35:18,157 --> 00:35:21,244 Since nobody can measure up to this mythic dreamboat you've concocted for yourself, 614 00:35:21,327 --> 00:35:24,122 it's easier to be alone and just pretend you haven't met him yet. 615 00:35:24,205 --> 00:35:26,791 I'll meet him, Ling. 616 00:35:26,874 --> 00:35:30,419 -Why do you have to? -Oh, you should talk, Margaret! 617 00:35:31,504 --> 00:35:33,256 Why can't I talk? 618 00:35:33,339 --> 00:35:35,007 -[Door Slams] -Uh, John, excellent. 619 00:35:35,091 --> 00:35:36,759 -No! -Well, you haven't even heard what I-- 620 00:35:36,843 --> 00:35:38,845 I don't care. The answer is no. 621 00:35:38,928 --> 00:35:40,638 Well, what's wrong? We can share. 622 00:35:40,721 --> 00:35:42,140 I don't feel like sharing, okay? 623 00:35:42,223 --> 00:35:45,017 Would you--[Stammering] Pecker! 624 00:35:45,101 --> 00:35:48,646 -Yeah--[Stammers] Make fun of that! -Wow. 625 00:35:50,231 --> 00:35:52,650 I got it. 626 00:35:52,733 --> 00:35:54,861 [Stammering] Pecker! 627 00:35:55,903 --> 00:35:58,614 Well, it's action packed here. 628 00:35:58,698 --> 00:36:00,700 It feeds us. 629 00:36:02,702 --> 00:36:04,620 -[Knocking] -[Grunting] 630 00:36:04,704 --> 00:36:07,123 [Pants] 631 00:36:07,206 --> 00:36:09,167 Why don't I get to talk? 632 00:36:09,250 --> 00:36:11,878 Because you're a fraud, Margaret. 633 00:36:14,172 --> 00:36:15,965 I'm a fraud? 634 00:36:16,048 --> 00:36:17,925 Suing an insurance company? 635 00:36:18,009 --> 00:36:20,887 You're saying that infertility makes a woman disabled? 636 00:36:20,970 --> 00:36:23,723 You can't have a baby, therefore you're disabled? 637 00:36:23,806 --> 00:36:26,601 Don't pass yourself off as a feminist. You're-You're-- 638 00:36:26,684 --> 00:36:30,438 Why-Why do you even want a baby, Margaret? 639 00:36:30,521 --> 00:36:32,857 It feels like a trick question. 640 00:36:32,940 --> 00:36:36,861 I'll tell you why. Because at the end of the day, you don't feel whole alone. 641 00:36:36,944 --> 00:36:39,530 You need to love another person. Well, so do I! 642 00:36:39,614 --> 00:36:42,158 I don't condemn you for wanting somebody to love. 643 00:36:42,241 --> 00:36:44,744 I guess I just reject the notion... 644 00:36:44,827 --> 00:36:47,330 that your life is empty if you don't have a man. 645 00:36:47,413 --> 00:36:51,209 It's only half empty. 646 00:36:51,292 --> 00:36:53,294 I had the same dreams you did. 647 00:36:53,377 --> 00:36:56,339 [Sighs] Thought I'd meet a man, get married. 648 00:36:56,422 --> 00:37:01,177 Talk about your illusions. I went to see The Wizard of Oz. 649 00:37:01,260 --> 00:37:03,429 Came out with a crush on Dorothy. 650 00:37:03,512 --> 00:37:06,682 [Giggles] 651 00:37:06,766 --> 00:37:08,601 Well, it's--Hmm. 652 00:37:08,684 --> 00:37:11,103 You know that case last week? 653 00:37:11,187 --> 00:37:15,107 The-The woman with the made-up lover? 654 00:37:15,191 --> 00:37:19,862 -Yes. -I-I looked at her as-as kind of... 655 00:37:22,281 --> 00:37:24,617 pathetic. 656 00:37:24,700 --> 00:37:26,619 And I-I-- 657 00:37:26,702 --> 00:37:30,498 I real-realized that it's-- 658 00:37:30,581 --> 00:37:31,749 Ally? 659 00:37:31,832 --> 00:37:34,126 ♪ How ♪ 660 00:37:34,210 --> 00:37:36,212 ♪ Can you mend ♪ 661 00:37:37,713 --> 00:37:41,384 ♪ A broken heart ♪♪ 662 00:37:41,467 --> 00:37:42,802 Are you okay? 663 00:37:44,011 --> 00:37:47,431 I think I need to go home, probably to my bedroom. I-I-- 664 00:37:47,515 --> 00:37:50,559 -I have a baseball game. -A baseball game? 665 00:37:50,643 --> 00:37:53,229 -No-hitter. I need to pitch. -Ally-- 666 00:37:53,312 --> 00:37:55,106 -Can't I even play baseball? -[Clattering] 667 00:37:55,189 --> 00:37:57,441 I thought that you would like that! 668 00:38:00,569 --> 00:38:03,114 I'm... sorry. 669 00:38:03,197 --> 00:38:06,075 You seem a little mentally off. 670 00:38:06,158 --> 00:38:08,119 [Sniffs] Mmm. 671 00:38:08,202 --> 00:38:13,374 No, I-I--I'm-I'm just distracted. I have a-a date tonight. 672 00:38:19,213 --> 00:38:22,091 -Richard, we have a problem with John. -Now what? 673 00:38:22,174 --> 00:38:25,886 He's in the unisex, and he just keeps dismounting. He won't stop. 674 00:38:25,970 --> 00:38:28,472 Nobody else can get near a stall with him whipping about. 675 00:38:28,556 --> 00:38:30,016 [Sighs] 676 00:38:33,477 --> 00:38:35,688 I'm trapped. I can't get out. 677 00:38:35,771 --> 00:38:37,606 John, come down! John! 678 00:38:37,690 --> 00:38:40,860 -When I'm ready! -You're obstructing a public way. 679 00:38:40,943 --> 00:38:43,154 John, get down now. 680 00:38:45,406 --> 00:38:47,199 -[Grunts] -[Flushing] 681 00:38:51,412 --> 00:38:54,498 -I was errant. -[Nelle] Everybody out. 682 00:38:54,582 --> 00:38:57,043 Go, go, go! 683 00:38:58,544 --> 00:39:01,797 [Door Opens, Closes] 684 00:39:01,881 --> 00:39:04,425 Unless you'd like me to do the other shin. 685 00:39:06,677 --> 00:39:08,679 Itch-bay. 686 00:39:10,056 --> 00:39:13,434 Well, anger may not be any more attractive on you, John, 687 00:39:13,517 --> 00:39:16,729 but, uh, it's certainly more exciting. 688 00:39:16,812 --> 00:39:22,234 You made fun of my stuttering and my smile therapy. You are a mean woman. 689 00:39:22,318 --> 00:39:23,361 No, no. 690 00:39:23,444 --> 00:39:26,530 I was an angry woman and a threatened one. 691 00:39:26,614 --> 00:39:27,698 Why? 692 00:39:27,782 --> 00:39:30,034 You and Ally connect on a very odd but fundamental level. 693 00:39:30,117 --> 00:39:35,498 And she also--This-This notion of waiting for the one person who is all things-- 694 00:39:35,581 --> 00:39:40,252 I--I think I'm afraid if you do that, I'm not that person. 695 00:39:40,336 --> 00:39:44,340 I mean, I don't want children. You do. 696 00:39:44,423 --> 00:39:49,678 This inner world thing? Uh, I don't share that. And, uh, Barry White? 697 00:39:53,015 --> 00:39:57,645 [Sighs] I don't believe in two people interlocking in every way. 698 00:39:57,728 --> 00:40:01,440 And this "Ally McBeal/it takes two to make one" mind-set-- 699 00:40:01,524 --> 00:40:02,858 It just makes me want to vomit! 700 00:40:02,942 --> 00:40:06,195 So why are we even bothering with each other if we're so different? 701 00:40:06,278 --> 00:40:09,657 I want to be with someone different from me. 702 00:40:09,740 --> 00:40:11,700 Well, differences can be fatal, Nelle. 703 00:40:11,784 --> 00:40:16,288 Yeah, but why can't two people grow together? 704 00:40:16,372 --> 00:40:18,332 Meet somewhere in the middle? 705 00:40:18,416 --> 00:40:20,960 I can learn to appreciate some of your likes and vice versa. 706 00:40:21,043 --> 00:40:24,964 I could get you interested in museums maybe. 707 00:40:25,047 --> 00:40:28,008 I mean--I mean, name something you want me to do. 708 00:40:28,092 --> 00:40:31,679 Pick one thing, right now. I-I'll work on it. 709 00:40:35,307 --> 00:40:36,851 ♪♪ [Disco] 710 00:40:36,934 --> 00:40:38,144 [Barry White] We got it together, didn't we? 711 00:40:38,227 --> 00:40:41,272 -Oh, God. -That one's nonnegotiable. 712 00:40:41,355 --> 00:40:43,899 -Oh, I like him. -I need you to love him. 713 00:40:43,983 --> 00:40:47,111 I'm beginning to love you! 714 00:40:47,194 --> 00:40:48,362 Don't you get that? 715 00:40:50,865 --> 00:40:54,452 And every time she comes running to you, I-- 716 00:40:54,535 --> 00:40:58,873 It-It just makes me insecure that-- that you'll run to her. 717 00:41:02,251 --> 00:41:03,669 I'm not running anywhere, Nelle. 718 00:41:05,421 --> 00:41:07,465 You gave me a frog. 719 00:41:07,548 --> 00:41:10,342 You gave me Barry White. 720 00:41:10,426 --> 00:41:12,386 -You gave me oral. -Oh, right. 721 00:41:12,470 --> 00:41:15,139 All in the same year. 722 00:41:15,222 --> 00:41:16,849 I'm not going anywhere. 723 00:41:19,518 --> 00:41:22,146 And I--I-I'm beginning to love you too. 724 00:41:28,694 --> 00:41:33,032 [Vonda] ♪ There's a secret path I follow ♪ 725 00:41:33,115 --> 00:41:37,620 ♪ To a place no one can find ♪ 726 00:41:37,703 --> 00:41:43,167 ♪ Where I meet my perfect someone ♪ 727 00:41:43,250 --> 00:41:47,630 ♪ I've kept hidden in my mind ♪ 728 00:41:47,713 --> 00:41:52,426 ♪ Where my heart makes my decisions ♪ 729 00:41:52,510 --> 00:41:57,598 ♪ Till my dream becomes a vision ♪ 730 00:41:57,681 --> 00:42:00,643 ♪ And the love I feel ♪ 731 00:42:00,726 --> 00:42:06,232 ♪ Makes him real someday ♪ 732 00:42:07,691 --> 00:42:13,072 ♪ 'Cause I know he's out there somewhere ♪ 733 00:42:13,155 --> 00:42:17,284 ♪ Just beyond my reach ♪ 734 00:42:17,368 --> 00:42:22,331 ♪ Though I've never really touched him ♪ 735 00:42:22,414 --> 00:42:27,044 ♪ Or ever heard him speak ♪ 736 00:42:27,127 --> 00:42:32,132 ♪ Though we've never been together ♪ 737 00:42:32,216 --> 00:42:36,762 ♪ We've never been apart ♪ 738 00:42:36,845 --> 00:42:42,476 ♪ No, we've never met Haven't found him yet ♪ 739 00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:47,106 ♪ But I know him by heart ♪ 740 00:42:47,189 --> 00:42:52,945 ♪ No, we've never met Haven't found him yet ♪ 741 00:42:53,028 --> 00:42:56,031 ♪ But I know him ♪ 742 00:42:56,115 --> 00:42:59,785 ♪ By heart ♪♪ 743 00:43:36,905 --> 00:43:37,865 {\an8}[Woman] You stinker! 59249

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