All language subtitles for Ally.McBeal.S02E17.1998.Disney+.WEB-DL.1080p.H264.AAC-HDCTV_track6_[eng]

You kissed Ally.

That's not to leave this room.

Oh, come on.
Why'd you tell me then?

-Testing.
-[Bullhorn Chirps]

Because you put your hand
on my shoulder...

and somehow convinced me you care about
what's been bothering me.

That's isn't fair. I do care.

But first, I have to be honest.

What you did with Ally--

unconscionable for you to tell Georgia.

You should never, never, ever tell...

unless it's clear you're
gonna get caught anyway.

Am I right, John? Before we get into that,
let's talk about the kiss itself.

-She has a wide tongue, doesn't she?
-Excuse me?

Ally. I hate it when women have those
thin, dry-like lizard lappers.

Ally's looks plump.
Wet too.

She has one of those fat, wet, juicy
tongues, doesn't she?

John, you kissed her once.
Fat and wet?

I'm not sure it really
qualified as a kiss.

I sucked it to ameliorate
my own secretion problems.

I gave her a canker.

Hmm. Ouch.
[Chuckles]

I, uh, broke skin once. College.
A little nipple action.

Got carried away with a love bite.

After that she switched from Chanel to
Bitter Apple. Hey, this is fun. Sharing.

Billy, your turn.

Oh, I think I've shared too much
already.

My junior prom in high school,

I inadvertently licked out
my date's hearing aid.

It was one of those tiny ones.
I never even saw it.

How could you not feel it?

Well, I didn't know much then.

I guess I thought, well,
maybe the ear experiences...

increased blood flow
and becomes hard.

Well, what did she say
when you, uh, licked it out?

Well, she wasn't happy.

I tried to explain myself,
but she couldn't hear me.

[Door Closes]

I think I shorted it.

Look at that.

We're here for him, his time of need.
He-He walks out.

[Sighs]

Gratitude.
You and me, John.

♪ I've been down this road ♪

♪ Walkin' the line
that's painted by pride ♪

♪ And I have made mistakes
in my life ♪

♪ That I just can't hide ♪

♪ Oh, I believe I am ready ♪

♪ For what love has to bring
Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I got myself together ♪

♪ Now I'm ready to sing ♪

♪ I've been searching
my soul tonight ♪

♪ I know there's
so much more to life ♪

♪ Now I know
I can shine a light ♪

♪ To find my way back home ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Baby, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪♪

Okay, first up--
the Sweat Man is due in.

He's in some trouble with the I.R.S.
Nelle, you're the most versed in tax law.

-Who's the Sweat Man?
-George Chisholm. Big client.

Probably a gland thing. He was audited.
Meet with him, see what the problem is.

Wait a second.
I have a thing about sweat.

I don't sweat personally.
I-I never have.

-And I don't like it when others do.
-[Ling] And I'm the same.

So don't even look my way.
Is he obese?

Nelle, he won't sweat on you.
And we need your tax expertise.

Uh, next up. Ally,
what's with the big kiss?

-Case? Bygones.
-She refuses to settle. We're still on.

-I could use some backup.
-[Richard] Uh, Billy, second chair.

-No.
-[Richard] Or not.

-John?
-Two witnesses. It should go quickly.

Well--

Richard, Harry Wah is here.
He says it's urgent.

Uh-oh.

My attorney assured me it would
settle on the courthouse steps.

-Now he says the plaintiff won't budge.
-Your attorney?

-I thought I was your attorney.
-You are.

I threw a bone to my nephew
since I thought the case was so silly.

But now it's not silly.

It's actually going to trial with my own
son on the line.

Now, I need you to take over.

Absolutely.
I'll pull everybody in.

Let's go to the conference room.
You fill me in.

It's beyond absurd.

My son had relations
with this woman.

Now she's claiming
he seduced her with fraud,

-and she's filed a civil date rape claim.
-[Chuckles]

You think it's funny?

Well, what's funny is, uh,
we represent that woman.

-Excuse me?
-Paula Hunt.

-You're representing her?
-Well, Ally is.

-Oh, Ally. Hi.
-Hmm.

-Uh, dump your client.
-Excuse me?

Uh, this is Harry Wah,
longtime meal ticket.

His son is the defendant
in your date rape case.

I was just telling him how happy
you'd be to, uh, ditch Paula.

-[Laughs] Richard.
-[Laughs] Conflict of interest.

Uh, you're suing
one of our own clients.

You have to withdraw.
At a minimum, throw the trial.

The judge is not gonna let me withdraw
at this point.

And as for whether he'll okay me
throwing the trial,

-gee, I'll just have to check.
-[Clears Throat]

I've brought my business here
for a long time, Richard.

Harry, trust me.
She's not very good.

I want this firm defending my son.

-Right.
-We can't be on both sides.

Why not?

-Are you crazy?
-Why not?

It can be done as long as the clients
are aware of the conflict.

-You plan to defend against Ally?
-It's Harry Wah.

Richard, no judge is gonna let a law firm
be at both tables.

Untrue, Georgia. As long as both clients
sign off on it, it's--

Harry Wah says he's okay with us
representing the plaintiff?

Thrilled. I told him Ally stinks.
Bygones.

And what if I win?

[Laughs] Right. Seriously,
let's run it by the judge.

I'll need to take a second chair. Georgia,
how about it? Great. This'll be fun.

You and me against Ally and John.
Fees on both side.

That's music. Off we go.
Good lawyers, one and all.

Nelle, I have George Chisholm.

-This is Nelle Porter.
-It's a pleasure.

Hi.

[Squishes]

And this is Ling.

-Ling.
-Yucky do.

That's Chinese for "hello."

Ick. Caca.

Let's go to my office.

Basically, I donated to a charity
and took the deduction.

The charity then invested the money in a
cash-value life insurance policy for me,

which is okay, you know, since life
insurance premiums

are not considered income.

The problem is that the I.R.S. is saying
that maybe now it is income,

and instead of paying the taxes on it,
I've been taking deductions.

What do you think?

Well, Mr. Chisholm,
can I be blunt?

-Of course.
-[Clears Throat]

I am happy to meet
with the I.R.S. agent,

but he's probably going
to want to talk to you.

-I'm willing to do that.
-Yes.

But when he sees you
sweating so... profusely--

It's always
been a problem.

You don't wanna even see what's going on
under the jacket.

-Oh, you're right about that.
-I try to control it.

I've even seen a doctor.

I mean, should I be prosecuted
for perspiration?

Tell you what. I will meet with the I.R.S.
agent alone, and I'll see what I can do.

-Thank you.
-I think not.

I'll call.

-One firm at both tables?
-The clients are okay with it.

As officers of the court,
we'll represent each zealously.

Just the same--

I would ask for a brief continuance
since I just got the case.

I oppose that.

The defendant can't be rewarded
for replacing counsel last second.

-I'm not looking for a lot of time--
-He shouldn't get any.

-Move for costs, Judge. She's moody--
-You knew the case went today.

-Either you go or not.
-All right. I'm at least satisfied...

that counsel will be
dealing at arm's length.

I'll let this go forward
with you people on both sides.

But defendant's motion for
continuance denied. We start after lunch.

Hmm.

I don't understand. You're going up
against your senior partner?

I have my other senior partner on our
side, and we are much, much better.

But, Paula, the defendant, he's
gorgeous.

So?

So I asked you if he was good-looking,
and you said "sorta."

That's not "sorta."
He's great-looking.

And I think the jury might think you
wanted to sleep with him.

I didn't.

-He lied his way into my bed.
-I say we're back to settling.

No.

-This claim is--
-Ally, listen. He's rich.

Settling for money means no consequences
for him. He's got tons of money.

I want the trial
and the public condemnation.

For you to be this angry, maybe you really
do love him, Paula.

-I want the trial.
-Okay.

We'll see you back here
after lunch.

You're gonna play this
to win, right?

I know that Harry Wah is a bigger client,
but you're gonna play to win here, right?

-Ally, I always play to win.
-Because I'm not--I--

-[Cell Phone Rings]
-[Gasps]

-[Beeps]
-Hello.

Oh. Um--No, no. No.
Tell her I'll return.

So I figure I'll take Paula's direct,
and you can cross Kevin.

-Who wasn't it?
-Excuse me?

-Who was that just there not calling?
-What are you talking about?

It's Greg. I haven't
spoken to him for a week.

Is this related to your kissing Billy?

You know?

Yes.

-Does... everybody know?
-Yes.

-Oh, God.
-Internally.

That doesn't mean Greg knows.

-Oh, he knows. I told him.
-You told him?

-Uh, yes.
-[Bird Cuckooing]

I shouldn't have?

Ally, a relationship is rarely
more passionate

than it is during the beginning.

If you're kissing somebody else
during the beginning,

Greg would be a fool
not to run.

But-But that--It-It-It-It--
Well, why can't he at least talk about it?

Ah, men and women
have different rules.

But I'll tell you.
Here's an easy one for men.

When your girl kisses somebody else,
nothing left to talk about.

-That's a man rule, and men live by it?
-Wisely.

[Bird Cuckoos]

You know
that kind of look...

that, you know, at first glance,
you just wanna bite him?

That's what the defendant looks like.

I'm never gonna win this case.
Any messages?

No. Greg still hasn't called.

I didn't ask that.

So why won't he call?

-You could call him, Ally.
-I did. Twice.

The third time I'm a tramp.

And he's a doctor. He's busy,
and you kissed Billy.

I explained it.

You know, why is it that a guy can cheat
with his penis and expect forgiveness,

but I can't get any slack
with a lip?

Because he knows you. And he knows that
with you, a kiss is not just a kiss.

Like you say,
it has more meaning.

So maybe I should just kiss a few more
guys to trivialize it.

-I could start with the defendant.
-Is this guy really that cute?

-Spankee-toy.
-[Rings]

[Gasps]
Hello.

Oh. Yes. Thank you, Elaine.

Call him, Ally.

Look, I'm not saying it was criminal.
I'm saying it--

You're talking about imposing penalties.
That's punitive. How else can--

I do have a hard time
with his naïveté.

[Sighs]
The tax code is confusing.

Oh, please. You know how many times
I hear that one?

Gee, could you possibly hear it a lot
because it's the truth?

Don't get snide, Ms. Porter.
I have a short button with snide.

Ooh. You have a short button.
Love to see it.

I wanna meet
with your client.

-Why?
-Because I do.

Before I sign off on this as an innocent
mistake, I wanna talk to him.

Otherwise, you won't
like the results here.

Fine. I'll warn him
about your... little button.

[Door Opens, Closes]

I was at a party and we met,

and we just--
well, we just hit it off.

-You-You and, uh, the defendant?
-Yes.

I'm not very good at meeting people.
I'm kind of shy.

But he--We--We just had
so much in common.

We were talking
and talking,

and I'm suddenly thinking to myself that
this is the man I will probably marry.

You were thinking this
the very night you met him?

My mother always said
when it happens, you'll know.

And I--
This is so embarrassing.

But I've always believed
that when I met the right man...

that our souls
would connect...

even before a single word
could be spoken.

Oh, objection. That kind of sentimentality
shouldn't go unpunished, Judge.

-Move for costs.
-I think I'll overrule that.

Did your mother tell you that,
about the souls connecting?

No. But he did.

-The defendant?
-It was like he was speaking my life.

For two nights, we stayed up until dawn
talking about everything.

And the third night,

we made love.

And then what?

Then--Well, a couple of days
later, he revealed the truth.

Which is?

Everything we connected on, he
learned from my chat room on-line.

I'm in a circle group--women. And he
evidently was in it,

pretending to be a woman.

So all the stuff about souls connecting
first, I'd said that in the chat room.

He used it.

-He never forced himself on you, did he?
-No.

And in fact,
right before you made love,

didn't he ask you, "Are you sure you
really wanna do this?"

Every man asks that. It's in some book,
questions that turn women on.

-Did it turn you on?
-The point I'm making...

is I thought he was somebody
other than he really was.

And the idea that he might have been

physically attracted
just never occurred to you?

I knew he was physically
attracted to me.

-Find him funny?
-Did I find him funny?

His sense of humor.
Was he funny?

Well, not especially.

-Ever laugh at his jokes?
-I'm sure I did.

Possible you--you laughed sometimes even
though you didn't think he was funny?

-You know, to be polite?
-Maybe.

-You like football, Paula?
-Football?

Yes. That game where the

big, fat guys block while the thinner one
runs with the ball?

-You ever heard of it?
-I've heard of football.

-Who does Terrell Davis play for?
-I'm not too big a fan.

Well, did you not talk about football
for a long time one night?

You were so happy John Elway was winning
the Super Bowl.

You used to live in Denver.

-Didn't you talk football?
-Because he's a football fan.

Oh, I see. So you pretended to like
football more than you did to impress him.

Objection.
This is ridiculous.

I am just trying to show that everybody
does a little pretending.

Some women even lie and still think
they're blameless in life.

-Some even cheat.
-Objection! Move to strike!

-[Hisses]
-[Yowls]

Let's just keep going.

[Growling]

-You wear perfume on your dates, Paula?
-Yes.

So?

So maybe you smelled
a little better than usual.

Looked a little better. Pretended to think
things were funnier than they were.

Feigned interest in things
that he found interesting.

Are you sure that he went
to bed with the real you?

[John] Uh, Your Honor,
I must apologize.

Ms. Thomas has recently undergone a little
strife in her marriage.

I think it explains the inappropriate and
cruel line of questioning.

Objection!

She's usually
very docile and likable.

-Objection!
-All right. Knock it off.

I can't believe you could
say something like that.

John, that was over the line.

-Oh, and you weren't?
-Would you shut up!

-What did you say?
-I said shut up.

You've done nothing but yap
since we left the courthouse.

And I will yap all I want.

-I'm a yapper, yapper, yapper.
-What's going on?

[Talking At Once]

-Are we all fighting?
-[All] Quiet!

You just wait till your client
gets up there.

What are you gonna do,
kiss him?

Low blow. Excellent. Let's go prepare,
Georgia. Off we go.

It's ugly.

John, you were
a little out of line.

Richard, it was your idea
to face me in court.

-Now, there's a consequence for that.
-Which is?

You have
to face me in court.

I'm not comfortable naked.

Do you think I'm at ease?
We need to do this.

-What is it?
-Liniment. To keep you from sweating.

Is this really
necessary?

Perspiration plays
like guilt, George.

If you sweat in that meeting, it could
cost you. We need you poised and dry.

And Ling swears
by this stuff.

Hmm. I need more.
He's fat. Caca.

This is
really humiliating.

I'm sorry,
but we need you dry.

Listen. I know that you and I
still have some differences.

-As well as some things in common.
-Okay.

I just hope that we can deal with it
one-on-one and not air it out in court.

Like John was doing?

He was stunting. I-I-I-I will talk to him.
It won't happen again.

-[Sighs]
-Georgia?

I'm sorry.

It's not easy to--

[Groans, Chuckles]

The truth is I-I-I do
consider us friends, Ally.

And in court, it's
probably not a good thing...

to think of opposing counsel
as your friend.

So in-in a way, it's-it's probably
just easier for me...

to look at you as--[Laughs]
I don't know,

a conniving backstabber
who kissed my husband.

-Oh.
-Hmm.

-I see.
-Mm-hmm.

[Laughs]

[Growls]

Richard.

When is the last time I truly offered
you advice?

Never.

Check that. I'm thinking of the last
time I truly took it.

What's up?

You and I are friends, albeit we typically
zig and zag in different directions.

I'm concerned that, um, this trial,
well--

What?

I'm worried about the fallout. Like you
said, Harry Wah is an enormous client.

-And, uh--How do I put this?
-Just say it, John.

I'm better than you, and I fear this trial
will cost us not only a major client...

but could, uh,
jeopardize our friendship.

-Because you're better than me.
-Yes.

-And you think you'll beat me.
-Yes.

-Let me tell you something, John.
-[Book Hits Desk]

You can't possibly overestimate how much
you underestimate me.

If you're under the impression you'll
overwhelm me with your little stunts,

understand this.

I'll be all over you
the minute you try.

I'm not your underling in there.
You have nothing over me.

And under the heading of--

There are just far too many
over and unders going on here.

My point is this. No one beats me in
court. You won't beat me in court.

Hey, John.

-May the best man win.
-So you agree.

You're really an arrogant
little guy, aren't you?

I object to the term "little." And my
arrogance is simply anticipatory.

It coincides with the prospect
of certain victory.

[Inhales]
I promise whatever happens,

I won't let it affect
our friendship.

-Fine.
-Fine.

It's amazing.
I didn't sweat all night.

Usually, you know, I completely soak
the sheets.

It's one thing not to sweat. It's another
not to do it under pressure.

Ling and I are gonna ask you
some tough questions.

I want you to hold your ground
and try to stay relaxed. Okay?

Shoot.

Ling, tough question.

Hmm. Is it hard going through life
as a soggy hog?

Tax question.

Oh.

What's the deal, getting a
charity to pony up your life insurance?

-Who are you trying to kid?
-My accountant assured me--

Is this some kind of end-around,
looking for fleet rates?

Because your premium
is through the roof...

since you walk around looking like a heart
attack waiting to happen.

Ling.

If he survives me, Nelle,
we'll know he's ready.

How are your pores?

It's really kind of the key
for getting--

-You know.
-Lucky?

Noticed. The best way
to make an impression...

is to make the girl feel she's the most
interesting person in the world.

To do that, you kind of have
to find out her interests.

That's why you went
into her, uh, chat room.

Yes.

I think what everyone here, uh, really
wants to know, Kevin, why own up to it?

It's not like she was ever gonna find out.

Why this overriding compulsion to be
honest?

Your Honor, I believe counsel has confused
honesty with a sleazy, dirty trick.

-Ob-Objection.
-Mr. Cage.

I apologize.

So, Kevin, come on.

Objection.
I'm sorry, Your Honor.

I was anticipating a leading question,
and I jumped the gun.

He often asks leading questions when he
can't trust his witness

to volunteer truthful answers.

It made me gun jump.
I apologize.

Mr. Cage,
can we get through this?

[Chuckles]
You did mislead her.

I didn't tell her how I learned about
her at first,

but I did believe the things I
said.

That sappy stuff about soul mates?
You believe it?

-Yes.
-Hmm.

And, uh,
the-the sex you had.

-Was it good sex?
-Objection.

Mr. Fish. According to my client, she
appeared to have an orgasm.

The point being?

Well, if she faked it,
that would make her the liar.

If it was real, winner. Either way,
she shouldn't be suing.

Oh. The objection
is sustained.

Yeah. Uh, seriously,
Kevin, why?

I had seen Paula at a few parties. I
wanted to meet her, but I'm shy.

I just thought if I could learn some
stuff, it would help me get a head start.

And that's all it was.

It really was the real me talking, Paula,
and it's the real me now.

Objection, Your Honor.
I really must object.

-Polygraphs are inadmissible.
-What?

-This witness never took a lie detector.
-What am I missing?

The fact he is shielded from taking a lie
detector doesn't mean...

he should say things he wouldn't dare
offer

if he had to back it up with a
polygraph.

It's one thing to lie to a woman. Quite
another to lie about it after.

Still yet another
to lie about it under oath.

I'd simply like the court to remind the
witness he is in fact under oath.

Though admittedly, given his character,
the warning may have little effect.

In fact, I'm sure none. Permit me to
withdraw my objection. Please continue.

-You're not funny, John.
-I don't mean to be funny.

My intent is simply to
beat you, which we're doing.

You're not beating us.

-Oh, are you still here?
-What does that supposed to mean?

Your presence has gone from this trial,
Georgia, leaving the jury with him.

He exudes chauvinism. You don't want to be
leading with chauvinism in this trial.

-I say we end this for $250,000.
-Are you crazy?

I haven't even cross-examined your
little boy.

We're not going to pay you.

-Oh. Excuse me.
-What?

-Don't bump me like that.
-Like what?

-You just bumped me, Georgia.
-Oh, I didn't mean to.

Richard, I strongly urge you to settle
this case.

We're not settling.

-Fine.
-Fine.

[Man] I'm questioning
your donation because--

-How's it going?
-They've been in there a half hour.

I guess we'll know soon.

It doesn't make sense for me
to do this as a shelter.

Deductions aside,
I still net out less.

-I give away far more than I gain.
-That isn't quite true.

You take a deduction
for the full gift.

Then you get your policy paid.
In your bracket, that's--

Well, my understanding is that this is an
incentive to promote charitable giving.

And this is pretty widespread.
It's not some novel--

So you consider yourself to
be coming from charity here.

I really do.

Tell me about this
offshore trust you have.

-That? That's legal.
-I understand it's legal.

I'm curious as to why you move money
out of the country.

-You worried about our banks collapsing?
-No.

Why then?

I was advised to put my assets
there to--

To what?

In the event I'm ever liable in a lawsuit
for anything, that money can't be touched.

It's a means of making
yourself judgment proof.

Yes.

-You're divorced.
-Yes.

And I see that you paid alimony from 1992
to 1996, along with child support.

I still do.
I haven't missed a payment.

I see that. Actually, you don't pay child
support anymore, do you? Just the alimony.

Uh, right.

Child support was eliminated.
Alimony was doubled.

Was that per a new agreement
with you and your ex-wife?

Yes.

Would it have anything to do with alimony
being deductible

while child support isn't?

Well, by taking the deductions,

we figured it would allow us
to give more.

-I see. Movies. Like movies?
-Yes.

Why do you deduct the amount
you pay for tickets?

Well, I'm in
the advertising business.

I have to keep abreast of cinematic
innovation, technology.

I see.

-You don't deny you deceived this woman.
-At first.

-You sleep with a lot of girls, Mr. Wah?
-Objection. Relevance.

-Costs. Sanctions. Badgered.
-Goes to a state of mind.

If he's a believer in free sex--

I don't just go around
bed-hopping, Mr. Cage.

Well, was it your impression
that Ms. Hunt does? Of course not.

You knew her to be pretty
conservative, did you not?

I knew her to be discerning.

-Is that why you resorted to fraud?
-[Together] Objection!

-Overruled.
-Ever use that date rape drug, Mr. Wah?

-Of course not.
-Well, why not?

That drug only works to loosen inhibition.

-Didn't you accomplish that with lies?
-[Together] Objection!

Your Honor, I take offense
at the double objections.

-Two wrongs can hardly make a right here.
-I am getting tired of this.

Mr. Wah, I'm reminded of the story
of two brothers.

One became romantically
involved with a pen pal.

After two years of writing his love,
he told her he was coming to her city...

to at long last
see her in person.

Now, this other brother, aware of the
scheduled liaison, went first.

She met him at the door. They kissed,
retreated to the bedroom.

It wasn't until the next day she
discovered

she'd made love to the wrong brother.

-All fair?
-No. But that's different.

Could you lean
a little forward, Mr. Wah?

-It's not different!
-[Together] Objection!

She made love to you thinking
you were someone you weren't.

Your Honor!

-Which was the plan.
-Mr. Cage.

You took information
from that chat room.

You used it to move in like a Trojan horse
and out popped the Trojan condom.

-Objection!
-Mr. Cage, dial it back now.

Here's a question,
Mr. Wah.

Are you sorry for what you did
to Ms. Hunt or not?

-I'm sorry, but--
-Thank you.

I have nothing further
for the sorry witness.

-He's better than you.
-He's not better.

He grilled my son up there. Neither of you
did a damn thing to help.

Harry.

If you don't win this case,
you're fired, Richard.

Do you hear me?
Now, what does that tell you?

If we lose, I hope it's big.

The contingent fee will offset your lost
business. Bygones.

-I need to prepare my closing.
-More fighting?

[Together]
Quiet.

-It isn't over, but--
-He didn't look convinced.

You were sopping.

All those deductions were
permitted under the law.

But this one
is a little dicey.

Are you saying that I could
be prosecuted here?

I have one
last meeting with him.

I'll see if I can
make it go away.

I was terrible
in that meeting, wasn't I?

Let Ling and I talk it over.
We'll see what we can come up with.

-Okay. Uh--Uh, you'll call?
-We will.

It was a disaster.

Marsh likes you.
You know this.

-[Scoffs]
-He does.

Let your hair down tomorrow.

I'm not gonna win just by letting
my hair down.

But you might.

I don't want to win
that way, Ling.

-[Sighs] The only thing worse is--
-Losing.

Why is he
doing this here?

Because our office feels
like enemy territory.

He and Richard, they really wanna
beat each other.

Richard and him.

You and Georgia.

Your office is becoming a hot little place
to work.

-[Rings]
-[Gasps]

-I don't think this case--
-[Rings]

[Rings]

Let it ring
three times.

[Rings]

Hello.

Hello. This is Shirley Joseph
from I.T. and T.,

and I have a couple questions concerning
your long-distance phone service.

Now is not a good time,
Shirley.

Uh-huh. Is there another
time that would be better?

How about never?
Is never good for you?

Or how about you give me your home number,
Shirley, and I'll call you?

Would that be all right?
You annoying little bitch.

♪♪ [Humming]

Ally, um, call Greg.

No.

I don't even wanna talk to him.

I just want him to call me
so I can hang up.

There's a lot of office tension.

Yeah.

Values. We keep talking about values.

Honesty's a value.

So is integrity.

And for Paula Hunt, the decision to love
somebody, to make love to somebody,

she put a value on that...

as she put one on trust and the sanctity
of sexual intercourse.

Now, this man, he lied to get it.

I suppose we could say,
"Big deal."

Premarital sex these days.
It's the '90s. It's free and easy.

And no doubt when he tells this story to
his buddies, he gets the big high five.

Got into her chat room.
Got into her pants. Ingenious.

But Paula Hunt
doesn't see it that way.

She's not ashamed to say that sex should
be accompanied by love and truth.

And if that makes her
a prude, fine.

She'll wear the label.
It's her right.

But it was not
his right...

to use lies and deception to get laid
at this woman's expense.

That's what he did.
It's as simple as that.

As a result, she not only lost the ability
to trust him.

It's hard for her now to trust
herself to trust anybody.

So values. We need you to attach
a value to what he did.

And I want you to put
a big value on it, folks,

because there's plenty
of other guys out there...

who think what he did
was ingenious.

And some of them may be surfing
the Internet as we speak,

looking for your
daughter's chat room.

Attach a value
to what he did.

Venus. Mars.

Name a planet. Opposing counsel's
probably been on it.

But when we talk about men
and women as Mars and Venus,

it's because on some issues, the two
genders really are from different worlds.

And when it comes to sex--
Please.

Basic anthropology tells you...

the female species instinctively looks
for one mate...

while the male innately looks to spread
his seed with as many mates as possible...

to propagate the long-term
survival of the species itself.

Even a gay anthropologist
will tell you so.

Men are guided, sometimes misguided,
by a different missile.

I won't lie.

I saw this beautiful woman once
at a van Gogh exhibit.

I put a bandage over my ear,

told her I nicked it
in a prior life.

Whatever gets you there.
Am I proud of it? No.

Does it work sometimes? Yes.

And women expect men
to make moves.

They expect us to launch
that first offensive.

It's why God gave us
the missile to begin with.

Having said that, both sexes pretend at
the beginning. Men and women.

We all pretend to be
what the other wants to see.

It's part of the mating dance.

Did Kevin Wah go too far,
infiltrating her chat room?

Maybe. But he believed the thoughts
he shared with her just the same.

He was genuine
in how he felt they connected.

And remember this.

Remember this.

Remember this.

-He's forgotten.
-I have not!

Mr. Cage.

Kevin Wah really fell for her.

When they went to bed,
he was falling in love with her.

And he didn't leave
the next day, did he?

She broke it off.

Kevin Wah
was in this for real.

With a lot of guys,
it's only about sex.

Kevin Wah was in this for real.

Sorry.

My client is convinced you think he's a
criminal because of,

you know, Riverdance.

Well, he certainly
didn't help sell it.

And I don't know how I can.

Except to say that I know he truly
believed he was complying with the code.

And it is subject
to interpretation.

Otherwise, you wouldn't
even be taking these meetings,

unless you had
some secret crush on me.

-I'm sorry. That was inappropriate.
-Ms. Porter--

Call me Nelle. I'm better taking bad news
on a first-name basis.

-I haven't given you any bad news.
-Really?

-I had a feeling about you--
-Yet.

Oh.

Oh.

[Sighs] I know I can't
change your mind.

I just really wish
you could know George.

He's a good man.

If he agrees to pay the tax,
I won't ask for a penalty.

It's the interest
that's the killer.

No penalty. No interest.

-Really?
-What?

-A hundred and 20 days to pay.
-Oh, my God. Thank you.

-Thank you so much.
-[Gasps]

-Thank you. And you too.
-Don't you dare hug me.

This--This--Oh, I got to tell my wife.
Thank you. Thank you.

-What'd you do?
-Well, just what you said.

I let my hair down,
played a little victim...

and sent the slightest of signals
that underneath it all,

I might
be attracted to him.

Between that and the hug,
I should shower.

-Hi.
-What's the matter?

Oh, just a little sweat.
I'm allergic.

-Your case over?
-Jury's out.

Ally. Seriously, do you really
equate that with date rape?

Yes. The guy lied.

Yes, and it's the first
thing a girl learns.

Guys lie
to get them in bed.

And we're supposed to just accept that,
Nelle? "Hey, guys lie. Get over it"?

Excuse me, Georgia. Could you please
stop doing that?

-Doing what?
-Looking at me like that.

Now, I am happy to go someplace and talk.
But the looks and the attitude,

it's, uh--
well, it's getting old.

[Laughs] It's getting old.
A week?

See, that's what you do. You just throw
out these hanging questions.

-Say what you want.
-This is what's getting old.

-Stop bumping me.
-[Gasps]

Don't you push me.

Don't you push me.

[Grunts]
Ooh. Okay.

Okay. Uh--

I-I guess I should
just say "okay."

[Chuckles]

[Both Screaming]

-Hey!
-[Georgia Grunting]

-Hey!
-[Grunting]

Nelle. Nelle, get off her.
Get off her!

[Screaming]

[Screaming]

Get off me!

Oh!

She's got my hair!

[All Screaming]

Hey. Ling.

-What the hell?
-Nelle started it.

What?

Georgia and I were
fighting by ourselves,

and you turned it
into a brawl.

-[Georgia] Ally.
-What?

Oh. Great.

-Did you get blood on me?
-[Nelle Moans]

[Moans]

It isn't too deep.

I'm not even sure you need a stitch, but
let a doctor look at it.

-Did we get your insurance?
-Yes. You made 1,100 copies.

Are you all right?

Hey. Hey. Yeah, yeah. I'm okay.
Did the jury come back?

-We settled. My side won.
-You didn't win.

We settled for nothing,
which is as good as a win.

You didn't win.

-You settled for nothing? What happened?
-My closing.

That part about Kevin being in it for
real.

[Paula] It convinced me.

-It got Kevin and me talking, and--
-And you're back together.

-I'm sorry.
-No. No, no. No. It's good.

I guess.

The problem is we can't
take a contingency on bliss.

We have to work something out.

My father will pay the fees
for both sides.

-Splendid. Love wins out then.
-Hmm.

I'm sorry for not listening to you.
You were right.

Okay, folks,
time to clear out.

-Greg.
-Ally.

It's no trick.
She-She's really hurt.

Everybody out, please.

[Parrot Squeaks]

-I've been beeping you.
-Yeah. I know.

-What happened?
-Oh. Um,

Georgia and I just got into a fight
over my... stuff.

-You and Georgia aren't best friends?
-We hit a bad patch.

Good news is
I can butterfly this.

Greg, I-I am sorry.

-I-I-I really--I just--I--
-Hold still, please.

Mm-hmm.
[Groans]

There.

You know, Greg, I just represented these
two people who loved each other...

-and then sued each other.
-Mm-hmm.

And while the jury was deliberating,
they reconciled,

and now they're back together.

People--

Well, me getting cut in a fight with the
wife of my old boyfriend who I kissed,

putting me
in the hospital to-to--

Well, people get back together
in the strangest of ways.

-Ally--
-Oh, God.

Don't tell me I'm a great lady.

That's what you said
when you went to Chicago.

I don't know what your kissing Billy
says about you and Billy,

but it does say something
about you and me.

And I don't really need
to tell you that, do I?

-We're done.
-Not quite. You need a tetanus.

Is that all I'm gonna get out of this
relationship? A tetanus shot?

Roll onto
your side, please.

-You'll feel a pinch.
-No doubt.

Ow.

[Vonda]
♪ Every time ♪

♪ The telephone rings ♪

♪ I hold my breath ♪

♪ Hoping that it's you ♪

♪ I'm scared to death ♪

♪ Phone went "ring" ♪

♪ My crippled heart cried ♪

♪ Let it be you ♪

♪ On the line ♪

♪ Then a voice said hello ♪

♪ Can I speak to Joe ♪

♪ Wrong number ♪

♪ I'm sorry, good-bye ♪

♪ Pity the fool ♪

♪ Who loves you so ♪

♪ The phone rang once again ♪

♪ My heart skipped a beat ♪

♪ Must be you ♪

♪ This is my belief ♪

♪ Then a voice
on the other end said ♪

♪ Can I speak to Ben ♪

♪ Wrong number ♪

♪ I'm sorry, good-bye ♪♪

[Woman]
You stinker!