All language subtitles for Ally.McBeal.S02E12.1998.Disney+.WEB-DL.1080p.H264.AAC-HDCTV_track6_[eng]

[Vonda]
♪ We ♪

♪ Can never know ♪

♪ About the days to come ♪

♪ But we think ♪

♪ About them anyway ♪

So, you didn't date
anybody in Chicago?

Not really. The women there are saving
themselves for Sammy Sosa.

-What about you?
-George Clooney.

No. I meant, have you been
dating since I left?

Oh. Oh, well, I'm--
I'm sure I must have.

I just can't remember
anybody right now.

I see.

Well, uh,

I'd invite you in, but Renee's there and
I'm afraid you two would sing a duet.

I see.

Is that all you say--
"I see"?

Let me begin
this second go-around...

by just walking you to your door
like a perfect gentleman.

I like that word--
"begin."

♪ Anticipation ♪

♪ Anticipation ♪

♪ It's making me late ♪♪

Call me?

I'll think about it.

[Chuckles]

♪ I've been down this road ♪

♪ Walkin' the line
that's painted by pride ♪

♪ And I have made mistakes
in my life ♪

♪ That I just can't hide ♪

♪ Oh, I believe I am ready ♪

♪ For what love has to bring
Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ I got myself together ♪

♪ Now I'm ready to sing ♪

♪ I've been searching
my soul tonight ♪

♪ I know there's
so much more to life ♪

♪ Now I know
I can shine a light ♪

♪ To find my way back home ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Baby, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪♪

-Did you kiss?
-Not really.

Just a short, soft--

I'm going to take it real slow.

And what's even better,
he wants to take it slow.

And when a guy
wants to take it slow--

[Birds Twittering]

Oh, I better get to work.

Yeah, you'd better.

[Bell Dings]

-Hey!
-Hey. How's it going?

-You look--
-What?

Ally, Billy, need you both.
Just got a last minute hand-off.

New client. Conference room.
Ten minutes.

-Hello.
-[Gasps]

[Crash]

Ling, why are you always here?

[Growling]

She's suing the environment.

How is that possible?

Well, without defending her,
let me defend her.

Activist organizations have
brought lawsuits

claiming trees have rights.

If a tree can sue you,
why can't you sue the tree?

-Nelle--
-Yes, Georgia?

It's one thing to say that
you can sue the environment.

But why do we have to
be the lawyers doing it?

Actually, I'm just trying to tie you up in
court while I tie up Billy.

Kidding.

-You think that's funny?
-[Chuckles]

[Richard] All right, I agreed to take
the case, not Nelle--bygones.

We've got bigger fish to fry.

Kimberly Goodman.
Husband wants to annul the marriage.

Ally, I thought you and I would take it.
I'll first chair since I'm on a roll.

On what grounds does he want
to annul the marriage?

Incompetence. He's a sexaholic.

Says he was under the influence
of the dumb stick

when he went through with the ceremony.

[Laughs]

Surely, you're--
you're making that up?

Off we go.

Good lawyers, everyone.
Ally, she's in my office.

[Cowbell Clanking]

Ally, it's none of my business,

but are you and Greg Butters
dating again?

-Elaine!
-I only ask because I care.

And I wouldn't want to see you get
squished like the last time.

That's why you ask? You're
afraid of me getting squished?

That, and he's here.

Hi.

I-I-I did not get squished.

I thought instead of calling I'd stop by
in person, put you on the spot.

-How about tonight?
-[Birds Twittering]

Uh--T-Tonight?

Um--Well, I--I have to,
uh, check my schedule.

You're free, like every night.

Thank you, Elaine.

Tonight will be fine.

Great.
Pick you up here?

No. Um--

Pick me up at home,
like a perfect gentleman. 7:00?

I'll wear a tie.

Mmm.

There must be someone to tell.

[Sighs]

Everything all right?

Fine.

Why are you standing there
like that?

I think I need mental help.

Why?

I feel happy.

I'm just not equipped.
[Sighs]

I have an appointment with Tracy
at lunchtime. Do you want to take it?

-No, that's--
-Oh, take it.

I'm just going over
a little Nelle anxiety.

Nothing so earth-shattering as "happy."

-Well--
-I bet she'd take us together.

Ah.

[Sighs]

Nine years we were married.

I didn't think it was remotely possible
he could really get an annulment.

Then my lawyer yesterday suddenly told me
it could happen.

His niche is trademark law.

That's why I--

Well, I thought I'd better
have an expert on divorce law.

-Which you are, right?
-Yes. It's our specialty.

Richard, no. It's not our specialty,
Mrs. Goodman.

But I took a class in it
in--in law school.

-We can do it.
-[Cowbell Clanking]

This isn't just
about money to me.

[Chuckling] Oh, no.

Though there is a lot involved.

I've been a housewife for the last nine
years. I've been raising children.

The idea that a court
could nullify everything--

This is a legal proceeding, Mrs. Goodman.
That court can't nullify you or your life.

My children are seven and nine,
and it's important to me that--

I don't want a judge to rule that their
father married their mother...

in some act of insanity.

We're not going to let that happen.

I promise you.

[Sighs]

-You shouldn't make promises.
-Imagine!

He's trying to wipe out the whole marriage
as if it never existed.

More and more divorce lawyers
are trying it.

Just when I started to believe in love
again, something comes along to--

I am so glad I have a career.

Nobody's going to be able to pull the rug
out from under my life...

and suddenly make it meaningless.

You can say whatever you want about me,
but at least I am in control of my world.

Yeah. You're in here seeking
treatment for happiness.

[Crash]

Who cares? Tell her anything!
Tell her I'm dead!

Why are there
two people here?

-Who are you?
-Dr. Nickle.

I'm filling in for Dr. Tracy,
who is in California pitching tofu,

and possibly a pilot.

-Who's the sick one?
-Him. Her.

You must be John.

So, you're in therapy and what,
you decided to bring a date?

-Where's your popcorn?
-[Stammering] This is Ally McBeal.

We're both pa-pa-pa-patients
of, uh, Tracy's.

And since our symptoms both go
to fear of relationships--

You've decided to team up?
Fine!

Theme song.
You first.

I-I'm not singing
my theme song to a stranger.

-Mm-mmm.
-Hey! Spanky!

-You go.
-[Stammers]

-No.
-No?

Look, I'd like to help,

but two wacky little people who come in
tandem

and refuse to sing
their theme songs--

Do I look like
a miracle worker?

-Is this the way to--
-Shut up!

-[Gasps]
-I'm speaking now.

When you go to the movies,
do you talk back to the screen as well?

No. But sometimes
I just walk out.

Ah, great.

Just gonna need you
to sign this release form.

A release?

Basically, it says if you jump out of a
window we won't be held liable.

Just initial the bottom.

So, back to you,
stuttering John.

How's everything
in Po-Po-Poughkeepsie?

Po-Po-Poughkeep--

P-P--Poop.

Poop?

Now, that's progress.
Tracy'll be real pleased.

The people here
don't take me seriously.

Ling, you're suing a tree.

-I am counter-claiming.
-Ling--

-[Growling]
-Oh, the glare.

I'm beginning to think
you don't take me seriously.

[Scoffs] You know,
I'm trying, Ling.

But what am I? Are we serious?
We haven't even had sex.

We've kissed.

I let you brush up against my breasts
in the elevator.

Yeah, only
when it's crowded.

No, all kidding aside.

Ling,

do you not like sex?

It's messy.

Well, I'm very good
at cleaning up after myself.

Do you--Do you think
maybe, uh, counseling?

Why is it
so important to a man?

-What, uh, sex?
-Yes.

Whatever happened to simple intimacy?
Emotion? Tenderness?

We have been dating
for four months.

Nelle hasn't had sex
with the funny little man.

I don't know what's going on there.
I'm concerned more about us.

If we are an "us."
I--[Sighs]

I like foreplay.

So do I.
I'd be happy with three-play.

There are other things besides intercourse
and a wattle.

I just--
[Sighs]

I need to know
if we're going anywhere.

-Stick out your index finger.
-Excuse me?

Let me have it.

Most people don't even know
the finger is erogenous.

Ever tried this before?

Ever tried that before?

Only after eating chicken,
but it's not the same.

No.
It's not the same.

-Do you really like that?
-Yes.

See? There are so many other things
besides intercourse.

But men just can't see
beyond their dumb sticks.

[Door Opens, Closes]

-Ready?
-Let's go.

Ally, I was thinking,
maybe we don't need Tracy.

Maybe we could just bounce our respective
problems off each other.

You think?

Well, I'm comfortable
talking with you.

I think that
you are with me.

Uh, well, um, o-okay.

John!

-Uh, Nelle, hi.
-Hi.

Late for court?

Dinner tomorrow night?

Oh.

That's--Sure, that--

Don't start playing
hard to get again, John.

I might just give up
and start going after Billy.

Kidding.

[Sarcastic Chuckle]

Just, you know,
for my own education,

what exactly
do you see in her?

I'm afraid I married her
because she's beautiful.

Mr. Goodman, a lot of men
marry for looks.

What I mean to say is,
I wasn't acting out of free will.

I suffer from sexual obsessive compulsive
behavior

and this affected my mental
competence.

-Your mental competence?
-Basically, I was crazy.

Move to strike, Your Honor.
Any man's crazy to get married.

-[Cowbell Clanking]
-Uh, withdrawn.

You're saying you married this
woman

out of a mental infirmity
caused by a raging libido.

I have a sexual compulsion.

I married her to make love
regularly and in perpetuity,

thinking that if anything could cure me
from lusting after other women--

Unfortunately,
that didn't happen.

-You still want to make love to her?
-Yes. But I also want others.

-So why not just cheat? You're married.
-She wants to divorce me.

Oh, that's right,
and you being a wealthy man,

my client would realize a substantial
amount of money in a divorce settlement.

-Right, Mr. Goodman?
-I suppose.

You suppose.

But if the marriage
were somehow nullified,

gee, she wouldn't
get anything.

Yeah. This sickness not only gets you off,
it gets you off cheap.

-[Counselor] Objection.
-Withdrawal.

You took a vow,
Mr. Goodman,

a vow
till death do you part.

I don't see any dead people here, do
you?

Objection!

Withdrawal. Why not just get
a divorce, Mr. Goodman?

Why is it so important
to get an annulment?

I was not of sound mind when
I made the decision to marry.

I was not of sound mind when I committed
the act of marriage in the ceremony.

There can, therefore, be no competent
meeting of the minds...

which is necessary
for any contract to be valid.

-Those are good legal buzzwords.
-He's badgering the witness.

Nine years, two children.
You walk into a court and say,

"Strike that from the
record."

I'm not a well man, Mr. Fish.
You think I'm proud of all of this?

Will you feel proud if you avoid
alimony?

Objection!

Ah--

Kimberly, I'm sorry
to hurt you this way.

She's not the victim here,
Mr. Goodman. You are.

Remember?
You're the victim.

Do you really want to sleep
with John Cage?

Ling, I like him.

What's so impossible
to understand?

I'm not questioning
you liking him. It's just--

Am I strange
not to be wanting...

it?

You can't even say "it,"
can you?

I can say "it."
I just don't.

Because,
for whatever reason,

whenever I say the word
it drives men crazy.

Even some women.

When you say the word
"sex"?

Yes.

The way you say the word
drives men crazy?

Yes.

What's so special
about the way you say "sex"?

If I knew, I'd correct it.
Believe me.

-Say it.
-Not a chance.

Ling, it's just you and me.
Say it.

[Sighs]

Sex.

One more time.

Sex.

Hmm.

[Exhales]

Ally!
Ally McBeal.

-Hi.
-Yeah, hi.

I'm Laura Dipson.
Pleasure.

I'm the executive vice president for Women
for Progress. A pleasure.

I have some splendid news.

You have been nominated for this year's
1999 Role Model

in the category of professionals.

-I beg your pardon?
-Working Women. You're a role model.

We're going to plan to publish this
in next month's magazine.

-I-I-I don't want to be a role model.
-Well, that's very sweet.

But you have no choice. Anyway,
it'll be wonderful. You'll love it.

We are going to have to make a few
adjustments in the way that you dress.

And I'd like to fatten you up.

We do not want young girls glamorizing
that thin thing.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Wait a second! Who are you?

I told you.
Laura Dipson. A pleasure.

Now, my sources tell me that you feel an
emotional void without a man.

You're really going to have to lose that
if women are going to look up to you.

I don't want them
looking at me at all.

Don't be pissy. You're a role model,
and you'll do what we tell you to do.

You can start by dropping that skinny,
whiny, emotional slut thing...

and be exactly who we want you to be--
nothing more, nothing less.

-Can you do that, pinhead?
-[Snarling]

[Screaming]

-You bit off her nose?
-Yes.

And I got blood
on my outfit.

Okay.

But what does this dream
have to do with Greg?

I-I think that it's my idea of a
relationship or--or something.

Which is?

I want somebody
I can be totally weak with,

somebody who will hold me...

and make me feel...

held.

But can't you have that without
biting off some woman's nose?

Don't you get it, John? I think I crave
some kind of dependency.

And that makes me feel
like a failure as a woman!

You know, I had a dream that they put my
face on the cover of Time magazine...

as the face of feminism.

Hmm.

You took a moment. I saw that.

Ally, you're really afraid
of becoming dependent?

I--I don't know. I mean, I look at this
client we have, Kimberly Goodman.

She basically put her whole life into
this marriage and--and--

But you don't have to stop your life or
your work to love somebody.

Well, you have to take some
kind of emotional free-fall to--

[Giggles]
Listen to me.

I sound just like you.
Fear of splat.

Yeah.

-Splat?
-Yeah.

Here I am lecturing John about not taking
chances, all the while--

I'm just telling you
this in case--

Should I turn all rigid like a potato
chip, don't give up on me.

You really got hurt,
didn't you?

With Billy?

Oh, um--

Well, just a--a--

a little.

Have you loved anybody
since?

Um--Well, um--

um... no.

Are you afraid of
loving somebody again?

Oh, don't be ridic--
Well, yeah.

[Laughs]
But I'm working on it.

I picked out
a new theme song today.

It used to be "Tell Him."
And now it's "Ooh, Ooh, Child."

-"Ooh, Ooh, Child."
-[Chuckles]

♪ Ooh, ooh, child ♪

♪ Things are gonna get easier ♪

-I know that song.
-You do?

♪ Ooh, ooh, child
Things will get brighter ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, child ♪

-♪ Things are gonna ♪
-Renee.

[Giggles] Kidding.
Just playing through.

Believe it or not, I have a date too.

[Laughing]

[Door Opens]

So, where were we?

[Door Closes]

♪ Ooh, ooh, child ♪

♪ Things are gonna get easier ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, child
things will get brighter ♪

[Vonda]
♪ Ooh, ooh, child ♪

♪ Things are gonna get easier ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, child
things will get brighter ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

Looks like
somebody's making progress.

How are you and Nelle doing?

Well, I'm sensing
an impending breakthrough.

I switched colognes.
How about you and Ling?

I don't know. I'm beginning to wonder
if she really likes me.

Of course she likes you.
I saw her smile once.

I think she's attracted to me
because I seem emotionally void.

There's safety in void.

-You're falling for her.
-Maybe.

Maybe you should try a little Barry White
with me.

It loosens
the romantic muscles.

I don't know.

Mmm.
Somebody's in love.

♪♪ [Continues]

♪ Ooh, ooh, child
things are gonna get easier ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, child
things will get brighter ♪♪

It's basically an addiction.

Sex becomes the absolute center
of their lives.

And you qualify this as a disability?

I qualify it as a compulsive disorder
that overcomes free will.

I absolutely do.

Dr. Hubbell, that sounds
a bit convenient.

What's to stop any man,
when he gets caught with his pants down,

from saying, "I'm an addict"?

We can't stop men from saying it,

but establishing it
is altogether different.

Tell me what establishes it.

In simplest terms, it's when people use
sex as a mood-altering device.

It's just like drugs when used to cope
with relational pain.

-You compare it to drugs?
-Yes. People use sex to get a high.

And just like drugs,

they begin to need bigger and bigger doses
to get that high.

-You diagnosed Mr. Goodman--
-Yes. He suffered abuse in his childhood.

He experiences strong bouts
of powerlessness,

a feeling of being out of control
not just sexually, but in life.

Could this powerlessness
extend to a decision to marry?

Without question.

-Don't a lot of men marry out of lust?
-Absolutely.

Should we nullify all of those
marriages?

No.

There's a difference between
being influenced by lust...

and becoming powerless
because of it.

You're not saying
that he failed to understand

what he was doing when he
married my client?

I'm not saying that.

You're not saying he didn't know marriage

was legally binding
when he entered into it?

-I'm not saying that.
-So, this mental competency thing--

Mr. Goodman knew
the nature and the quality

of his act when he married
Kimberly Goodman?

Yes, as does an alcoholic when he takes a
drink. It doesn't mean he has control.

He had no control
when he married Kimberly?

Addicts can't control their behavior,
Ms. McBeal.

That's the very symptom of addiction.

♪♪ [Disco]

[Barry White] We got it together,
didn't we?

We've definitely got our thing
together, don't we, baby?

Nobody but you...

and me.

We got it together, baby.

♪♪ [Continues]

♪ Ah, my first ♪

♪ My last, my everything ♪

♪ And the answer to ♪

♪ All my dreams ♪

-[Toilet Flushes]
-♪ You're my sun, my moon ♪

♪ Oooh-oooh-ooh ♪

♪ My guiding star ♪

♪ My kind of wonderful ♪

♪ That's what you are ♪

♪ I know there's only ♪

♪ Only one like you ♪

♪ There's no way ♪

♪ They could have made two ♪

-♪ Girl, you're all I'm liv--♪♪
-[Record Scratches]

-[Bowling Pins Falling]
-[Grunting, Groaning]

I-I'm hurt.

I began to realize
all he wanted was just physical.

Did you know
about his affairs?

Not until
a year and a half ago.

-It hit me like a bomb.
-But you didn't leave him?

No. We have two children.
I tried to work things out.

Did you two
ever seek counseling?

Oh, yes. Yes.

We saw this woman who came highly
recommended,

and he tried to sleep with her.

-[Ally] The counselor?
-It wasn't just that he was unfaithful.

I began to see he really was pathological.
He was a sex addict.

-Things were not going to change.
-So you filed for divorce?

Yes.

Was it after he met his lawyer that he
decided that he was mentally incompetent?

-Objection.
-Rephrase.

When did he first decide to try
to nullify the marriage...

as a means of circumventing no-fault and
getting out of paying alimony...

as the law, morality and decency
would require him to do?

-Objection!
-Overruled!

-[Judge] Mr. Fish.
-[Cowbells Clanking]

Kimberly, if you could say anything to
your husband right now, what would it be?

I suppose I'd tell him that
no matter what his problems are,

they shouldn't nullify the fact that we
have been married for nine years.

He may not want to call it real,
but it was very real to me.

The problem is, she basically stipulated
to the addiction, if not the insanity.

But even if he's insane, couldn't we make
the argument that, you know--

That every man is insane to marry?

I don't think you scored with that
when you raised it.

Are we going out? It's that time
of the month for me. I feel like fun.

And you look like it,
Ling.

[Growling]

Shouldn't you be
out somewhere in love?

-[Growling]
-Come on. Down to the bar.

Let's go.

-[Elevator Bell Dings]
-Uh, ex-excuse me.

Um--John, what are you doing?
I thought you and Nelle were going out.

I canceled.

-What?
-Not to worry. I have a plan.

-What sort of plan?
-I think she has a spontaneity fetish.

I told her
I have to work late.

If she wanted to hang around,
we could go and have a drink.

Then, when everybody is gone
I will go to her and--

♪♪ [Disco]

Well, what-what does...
that... mean?

I'm going to Don Juan her.

-Oh.
-I'm excited.

Nelle.
Hello.

Hello.
I'll get myself ready.

And now there's pressure.

I thought you guys were going out
tonight.

We switched it to lunch.

If I don't nail
this closing, I--

[Sighs]

Renee, do you think that it is significant
that just as I begin to date somebody,

somebody that maybe I--

I get this case that says, don't trust
passion, don't even trust trust,

because even when you think you've found
love it's only temporary,

even after nine years,

because the statute of limitations never
runs out on his right...

to rip you into shreds the size
of your small intestines.

I mean, d-do you think?

You know, Ally, that's exactly
what I've been stuck on.

This woman thought she had it.
She's a smart woman.

I thought I had it with Billy,
but it turns out--

Oh, no. You had it.

Not as much as I thought I did.
He met somebody else.

Ally, you had it.

[Sighs]

Um...

maybe that's what
scares me the most.

As soon
as you've found love,

you've had it.

♪♪ [Disco: Slow]

[Barry White]
Take it off.

Baby, take it all off.

I want you the way
you came into the world.

I don't wanna
feel no clothes.

♪♪ [Continues]

I don't wanna
see no panties.

And take off that brassiere,
my dear.

Everybody's gone.

We'll take the receiver
off the phone.

-Because, baby, you and me--
-♪♪ [Music Winds Down]

I-I can't.

Oh, John.

[Panting, Gasping]

Calm down!

Never tell a person to calm
down when he is agitated, Ally.

Yeah.

So you got scared. Do you think you're the
first person to panic over--

-Was it performance anxiety?
-Renee!

-Because that's big with lawyers.
-Renee, go!

It wasn't performance.
Everything was working physically.

Well, then, what was it?

[Door Closes]

it just felt wrong.

Well, then you did
absolutely the right thing.

I mean, you might have discussed it
with Nelle before sprinting for the exit,

but you did the noble thing by not
going through with it.

I admire you for not
going through with it.

Oh, but, John, you have
got to talk to Nelle.

-He got her clothes off?
-Richard.

No, I'm just being--I'm being concerned.
Naked?

Stop it. I shouldn't even be telling you
this. It's just he seemed really--

-Did he say why he ran away?
-Just that it felt wrong.

Sex for men, when it's right, it's right.

When it's wrong, it's still right.
Fishism.

-Where is he now?
-I told him to talk to--to Nelle.

-Hey.
-Hi. Are we ready?

All set.
Ally's gonna close.

-You are ready?
-I-I think so.

Just keep it simple.
Common sense is on our side.

I got it.

There was a defect in the inception
of the marriage.

My client suffered from an addiction that
caused a mental incapacity.

That is classic grounds
for an annulment.

And he's not alone
in claiming this mental defect.

Mrs. Goodman acknowledged it

when she filed for divorce
and it lasted the duration.

There was never a decision
to ever live together...

that can be established
to be of sound mind.

Textbook annulment.

-That's just dumb.
-Would "dumb" be the legal definition?

Your Honor, if you look at alimony and
palimony, it comes down to fairness.

And whatever his problems, which couldn't
be kept in check, much less his pants,

she endured it
for nine years.

She's taken care
of the children. She's--

The problem, counsel, is that the fairness
issue presupposes a valid union.

Here, technically,
it might have been invalid.

And that's dumb.

We're back to
legal definitions.

If we're really going
to go down that road...

and hold up marriage ceremonies to
standards of sanity, watch out.

People run off to Las Vegas on their first
dates. Some listen to their astrologers.

So many people make terrible, horrendous
decisions out of passion,

and we still enforce
those marriage contracts.

There is a difference between
recklessness and insanity.

Oh, he wasn't insane.

He knew what he was doing, even if he was
being led by little Mr. Helmet Head.

Mr. Helmet Head?

Love, by definition,
is crazy!

"I'm crazy about him! He's mad about her!"
People get blinded by love.

They fall ass
over teakettle.

What does that expression even mean,
"Ass over teakettle?" It's nonsensical!

But we excuse it because if it's about
love, fine. Love doesn't make sense.

People fall in love for all sorts of
insanities,

and we don't legislate the reasons.

But once they take vows,

once they get that legal piece of paper,
and once they start having kids,

we take that seriously.

We call it an institution.

And for this man to be running around

vaccinating any woman he can convince to
play doctor,

for this man to indulge his little
affliction

at the expense of his wife
and his children,

for this man to skirt financial and moral
responsibility

because he found a scuzzy
lawyer...

and a scuzzier shrink
to pronounce him disabled,

for this man to waltz into a court and get
an order saying

this woman was never married...

when she led
an exemplary married life,

for this man to say that
he's addicted to love, to sex,

addicted to infidelity,
lying and cheating,

for this man to come in here
parading his penis...

like he should qualify
for handicapped parking--

How dare you subject this woman
to this embarrassment.

How dare you subject
your kids to it.

How dare you live,

you giant ass.

[Chattering]

I don't know if I could
convey how sorry I am,

nor do I know if it would
even make any difference.

Um, I have been
holding back,

I thought because I was afraid
of falling in love with you,

and then I'd get hurt.

But I--I think...

that my real fear--

it's not that I would fall
in love with you, Nelle.

It's that I never would.

You represent the girl that I could never
get in high school.

I was a kid who stood in the corners
at the dances and just--

I only dreamt about--

And when I'm with you it's like
I'm living my fantasy,

and that's exactly
what I'm doing.

And it's all I'm doing.

You--You don't--You don't
really get me, Nelle,

and I--
I don't really get you.

I think what
I'm trying to say--

-You've met somebody.
-No, no, no, I haven't.

Yes, you have.

You say I don't get you, I can't connect
with your inner worlds.

You know anybody who does, John?

Anybody you instinctively run to
when you need to talk?

Know anybody who connects
with your dream world?

There is somebody, John.

But judging by the look I see
on her face lately,

you may have waited too long.

Excuse me.

[Door Opens]

[Door Closes]

[Exhales]

Hey.

Billy, hey.

How's Georgette?

Georgia.

Whatever.
[Chuckles]

Everything okay?

Uh, sure.
I just, uh--

Patriots. Hartford.

Everything's fine.

I give the petitioner points
and the petitioner's counsel points...

for making viable a case for annulment
that flies in the face of common sense.

And I'm horrified to admit,
it's a winning argument.

My only solace is that the law
can go either way on this,

and you got one
of my favorite judges--me.

I share Ms. McBeal's disgust,

and to spice it
with a little of my own,

I'm ordering the petitioner to
pay Mrs. Goodman's legal fees.

Petition for annulment
denied.

Our rates just shot up!

-[Murmuring, Laughing]
-♪♪ [Pop: Upbeat]

[Vonda]
♪ Apples, peaches, pumpkin pie ♪

♪ Who's afraid to holler "I" ♪

♪ That's a game
we used to play ♪

♪ Hide-and-seek
was its name ♪

♪ Oh, ready or not
here I come ♪

♪ Gee, that used to be
so fun ♪♪

♪♪ [Continues, Fades]

Are all your closings
that passionate?

Some a little more
than others.

You take that marriage institution thing
kind of seriously, I see.

Don't you?

I like marriage,
but I only plan to do it once.

I had this favorite song
in high school.

I never told anybody
because it was Anne Murray,

and my friends wouldn't
let me think it was cool.

It was called
"Can I Have this Dance?"

It was about,

oh, I don't know, um,
happily ever after or something.

How did it go?

You are not going to
trick me into singing.

No. I don't know the song.
How did it go?

Well, um--

Come on.

♪ I'll always remember ♪

♪ The song that was playing ♪

♪ The first time we danced ♪

♪ And I knew ♪

[Vonda]
♪ As we swayed to the music ♪

♪ And held to each other ♪

♪ I fell in love with you ♪

♪ Could I have this dance ♪

♪ For the rest of my life ♪

♪ Would you be my partner ♪

♪ Every night ♪

♪ When we're together ♪

♪ It feels so right ♪

♪ Could I have this dance ♪

♪ For the rest of my life ♪

♪ I'll always remember ♪

♪ That magic moment ♪

♪ When I held you
close to me ♪

♪ As we moved together ♪

♪ You're all I'll ever need ♪

♪ Could I have this dance ♪

♪ For the rest of my life ♪

♪ Would you be my partner ♪

♪ Every night ♪

♪ When we're together ♪

♪ It feels so right ♪

♪ Could I have this dance ♪

♪ For the rest of my life ♪♪

[Woman]
You stinker!