All language subtitles for Only.Murders.in.the.Building.S03E01.720p.WEB.h264-ETHEL

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,878 CHARLES: Welcome to our killer reveal party, 2 00:00:02,878 --> 00:00:05,964 where we will reveal Bunny's killer. 3 00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:07,716 - We've been on to you since this afternoon. 4 00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:09,551 - I just wanted Cinda to notice me. 5 00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:10,552 [echoing click] 6 00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:13,597 CHARLES: With that, another mystery solved. Wow. 7 00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:15,766 Two murders back-to-back. - Yep. 8 00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:17,351 - You're actually renovating. 9 00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:20,229 MABEL: Well, it is about time. CHARLES: Hey, Joy. 10 00:00:20,229 --> 00:00:22,439 - Are you asking me out on a date? 11 00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:23,690 - Yes. 12 00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,108 ♪ 13 00:00:25,108 --> 00:00:26,109 OLIVER: Broadway? 14 00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:28,111 I think I-I would be perfect for that. 15 00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:29,655 And who's the star? 16 00:00:29,655 --> 00:00:31,740 [knocking] Ben? 17 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,617 Everyone gets opening night jitters! 18 00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:35,244 ♪ 19 00:00:35,244 --> 00:00:37,329 - I'm good! - Fasten your seat belts. 20 00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:39,248 [applause] 21 00:00:39,248 --> 00:00:43,001 - What turned me into a creature of the night? 22 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,837 [birds chirping] 23 00:00:44,837 --> 00:00:45,921 [thud] 24 00:00:45,921 --> 00:00:47,798 [audience gasping] OLIVER: Somebody! Anybody! 25 00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:49,174 CHARLES: He's not moving! 26 00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:51,051 [murmuring] WOMAN: Ben! Call 911! 27 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,679 - You've gotta be fucking kidding me. 28 00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:55,806 ♪ 29 00:00:56,849 --> 00:00:59,852 ♪ orchestral music playing ♪ 30 00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:02,855 [audience chatter] 31 00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:05,482 [curtains click, rattle] 32 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:07,985 CHARLES: All the world's a stage 33 00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:12,865 and all the blah, blah, blah. We all know how that one goes. 34 00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:15,492 But if you are a theatrical type, 35 00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:17,327 there's a good chance you became smitten 36 00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:19,079 at a very young age. 37 00:01:19,538 --> 00:01:24,877 - ♪ The sweetest sounds I'll ever hear ♪ 38 00:01:24,877 --> 00:01:28,839 ♪ Are still inside my head ♪ 39 00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:30,340 CHARLES: Seeing the wonders of a life 40 00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:33,427 you might be part of one day, 41 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,554 full of stories and experiences 42 00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:39,349 you can only dream about from the eighth row, 43 00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:41,894 behind two beehives in row seven. 44 00:01:41,894 --> 00:01:47,399 - ♪ The most entrancing sight of all ♪ 45 00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:52,905 ♪ Is yet for me to see ♪ 46 00:01:52,905 --> 00:01:55,824 ♪ And the dearest love ♪ 47 00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:59,536 ♪ In all the world ♪ 48 00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:03,498 ♪ Is waiting somewhere for me ♪ 49 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,919 ♪ Is waiting ♪ 50 00:02:06,919 --> 00:02:08,629 ♪ Somewhere ♪ 51 00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:12,591 ♪ Somewhere for me ♪ 52 00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:16,553 ♪ orchestral music continues ♪ 53 00:02:19,890 --> 00:02:21,892 CHARLES: Once smitten though, 54 00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:23,894 then comes the work. 55 00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,647 Of classes and training... 56 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,065 ♪ 57 00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:30,067 of speech and technique... 58 00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:32,778 honing your craft, 59 00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:35,906 as you pound the pavement in New York City, 60 00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:39,034 auditioning for anything and everything, 61 00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:41,995 all in pursuit of that moment in the spotlight 62 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:45,123 where you hope someone might see you, 63 00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:48,919 really see you, and say those magic words. 64 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:51,129 "Where have you been?" 65 00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:56,218 But what if those magic words never come? 66 00:02:56,218 --> 00:02:58,595 And it's only rejection, 67 00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:01,390 over and over again, 68 00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:03,350 year after year, 69 00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:06,061 and near miss after near miss, 70 00:03:06,061 --> 00:03:09,189 until you realize that near miss 71 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,191 has become your life. 72 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:16,446 How do you keep at it with any hope? 73 00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:18,615 ♪ 74 00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,160 CASTING DIRECTOR: Thank you, very nice. 75 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,204 So, someone's shown up 76 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,874 who's not on our list, maybe a walk-in. 77 00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:30,836 I do know her. She's capable, 78 00:03:30,836 --> 00:03:33,964 a little vanilla, but we've got about 10 minutes until lunch... 79 00:03:34,506 --> 00:03:36,049 - Yeah, sure. [sniffs] 80 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,801 CASTING DIRECTOR: Ready, Durkin, you still there? 81 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,970 LORETTA DURKIN: Yes! [script rustling] 82 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:42,139 Yes! Hi! 83 00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:44,600 Oh, hi. I-I'm so sorry, I thought... 84 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,603 My agent assured me that I was on the list... 85 00:03:47,603 --> 00:03:48,896 CASTING DIRECTOR: It's fine. 86 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,606 Do you have the pages for the role of the nanny? 87 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:54,276 - Y-- Uh, yes. Is it just the one scene? 88 00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:56,486 CASTING DIRECTOR: That's right. Whenever you're ready. 89 00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:57,487 [sighs] 90 00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:59,489 [script quietly crinkling] 91 00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:01,825 - [huffs] Enough! 92 00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:04,328 Enough of your questions, Detective. 93 00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:08,749 I'm happy to tell you who I am and what it is I do 94 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:11,919 without your insistent... probing. 95 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,799 I am a caretaker of children, 96 00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:20,010 to whom I'm given charge. 97 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:23,847 Am I a substitute for the child's true mother? 98 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,265 [inhales] 99 00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:29,603 Some would prefer I say no, but I believe... 100 00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:33,482 I am. I must be... 101 00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:37,236 their mother when it's only me with them. 102 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,905 Because 103 00:04:39,905 --> 00:04:42,658 a child needs to feel, at all times, 104 00:04:42,658 --> 00:04:43,909 safe. 105 00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:47,538 They need to feel protected with the kind of ferocity 106 00:04:47,538 --> 00:04:50,040 only a mother can summon. 107 00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,041 [inhales] 108 00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:56,213 It's no matter if they were born of my own... 109 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,215 flesh. 110 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:00,801 [inhales] 111 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:05,180 Would I kill 112 00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:08,183 to protect a child in my charge? 113 00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:11,311 That is the question you have for me, I assume, Detective? 114 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:14,314 ♪ 115 00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:18,151 To that, I would say 116 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:21,196 without so much as blinking, 117 00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:23,699 I would kill without compunction... 118 00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:29,872 for the sake and safety of any child in my care. 119 00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:35,711 So, 120 00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:39,173 now, you have your answer. 121 00:05:41,717 --> 00:05:43,427 - Where have you been? 122 00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:47,181 ♪ 123 00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,223 - Um... 124 00:05:48,599 --> 00:05:51,393 CHARLES: But when you finally do land your dream, 125 00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,812 your moment in that spotlight... 126 00:05:54,313 --> 00:05:56,565 - I said, where have you been? 127 00:05:58,650 --> 00:05:59,902 - Oh. 128 00:05:59,902 --> 00:06:03,030 CHARLES: ...how far would you go to hang onto it? 129 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:05,240 - Oh! [gasps] 130 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,950 Oh, thank you! 131 00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:10,495 Oh, thank you! [laughing] Oh, gosh! 132 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:13,498 ♪ lively theme song playing ♪ 133 00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:16,502 ♪ vocalizing ♪ 134 00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:59,545 [applause, audience cheering] 135 00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:02,005 ♪ eerie music playing ♪ 136 00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:02,965 - Help me... 137 00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:05,133 [thud] [audience gasping] 138 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,219 OLIVER: Somebody! Anybody! [shocked chatter] 139 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,388 - He's not moving! 140 00:07:09,388 --> 00:07:11,390 WOMAN: Ben! Call 911. 141 00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:14,184 MAN: I don't feel a pulse. [sirens wailing] 142 00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:15,811 [sirens blare] [street chatter] 143 00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:18,689 MAN: I'm trying to wrap my head around it myself. 144 00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:20,065 No, don't you under-- 145 00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:22,276 No, they already pronounced him! 146 00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:24,736 They pronounced him! 147 00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:28,240 - Was there any foam around his mouth? Foaming would indicate poisoning. 148 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:31,368 - I only saw blood. Mabel! What are you doing? 149 00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:34,079 Could be natural causes or one of those, uh, rupture things. 150 00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:35,873 - Charles, please! It's opening night, 151 00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:39,376 and a big star in the prime of his life drops dead on stage? 152 00:07:39,376 --> 00:07:41,753 OLIVER: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He's dead. 153 00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:44,173 He's dead. Ben's dead. My leading man is dead! 154 00:07:44,173 --> 00:07:46,717 - Hey, it's not your fault, Oliver. - No, that's right it's not my-- 155 00:07:46,717 --> 00:07:48,427 What? Of course, it's not my fault! 156 00:07:48,427 --> 00:07:49,761 Okay, Howard, 157 00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:52,639 you go and tell everyone that it's all gonna be fine. 158 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,725 Tell them, uh, that we'll gather back at my place 159 00:07:54,725 --> 00:07:56,977 for the opening night party I planned, 160 00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,729 where we'll just sort all of this out. 161 00:07:58,729 --> 00:08:00,731 - I really don't think people are in a party mood right now-- 162 00:08:00,731 --> 00:08:03,692 - Just do it, Howard! Do it! 163 00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:06,111 - Hey, Oliver. - You okay, buddy? 164 00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:09,031 - Oh, my God. Is this really happening? 165 00:08:09,031 --> 00:08:10,532 How did I get here? 166 00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:13,452 ♪ 167 00:08:13,452 --> 00:08:15,454 [door knocking] [door opening] 168 00:08:16,914 --> 00:08:19,625 Is this really happening? - Happy First Read-Through Day! 169 00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:21,543 - Am I really going back to Broadway? 170 00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,462 - I hope so. Why else would I be here? 171 00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:24,838 - To support, to give notes, 172 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:27,174 to translate what the young people say for Charles. 173 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:30,469 And because who gets to see you anymore? - True! It's nice to see you. 174 00:08:30,469 --> 00:08:33,597 - Well, you know, we're all just so busy-busy, 175 00:08:33,597 --> 00:08:36,183 and, you know, who are we without a homicide? 176 00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:38,352 - Oliver, I know you're nervous. 177 00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:40,604 I know your last Broadway show was a disaster. 178 00:08:40,604 --> 00:08:42,356 [elevator opens] Everyone knows it. The world knows it. 179 00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:45,859 - Fast forward, fast forward. - But you, sir, are a talented young man. 180 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:49,321 You have a gift for leadership. And when you asked me to join this production, I-- 181 00:08:49,321 --> 00:08:50,572 - Hold, please. 182 00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:51,615 [sloshing] 183 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:55,118 I asked you?! - Yes, you asked me! 184 00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:57,454 You know what? Forget it. - Oh, no, no, no. 185 00:08:57,454 --> 00:09:00,541 Please wax poetic about how I begged you to be in my play, 186 00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:03,544 even though you haven't been on stage since men had to play all the women. 187 00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:05,087 - You don't need to explain. 188 00:09:05,087 --> 00:09:06,880 - In Shakespeare times, men had to play the women. 189 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,465 - Ah. - Women weren't allowed. 190 00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:10,843 - It's a, a age joke. - It's also a career joke. 191 00:09:10,843 --> 00:09:12,886 - And I loved it, but can we talk about me now 192 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,346 and how I cannot believe 193 00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:17,266 I'm going to be in the same room as Ben Glenroy? 194 00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:19,768 Hair up or hair down? Do you think he likes ears? 195 00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,895 - Mabel, actors are just people. 196 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,856 Remember how nervous you were to meet me at first? 197 00:09:23,856 --> 00:09:26,567 - I don't maybe remember that? - Yeah, but now look at us. 198 00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:29,611 Hey, when we get there, how do you wanna handle the entrances? 199 00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:32,072 Maybe you introduce me and then I come in? - Introduce? 200 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:35,576 This is a table read, Charles. It's not The Donna Reed Show. 201 00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:36,952 Donna Reed was-- - It's not worth it. 202 00:09:36,952 --> 00:09:39,246 - Okay, now, please do not start this journey 203 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:40,956 by alienating all of your colleagues 204 00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:43,417 with some desperate attempt at peacocking. 205 00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:44,668 No peacocking! 206 00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:47,796 Oliver Putnam in da house! 207 00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:51,508 [applause, cheering] 208 00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,260 I have a question. 209 00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:55,762 Who wants to go to Broadway? 210 00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:58,807 [excited squeal] [cheering] 211 00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:01,101 [whistling] [scattered gasps] 212 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,936 - We thank you for your attention. 213 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,229 Brief anecdote. 214 00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:07,608 I remember when I auditioned for Mr. Oliver Putnam 215 00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:09,735 for this very play. - It's true. 216 00:10:09,735 --> 00:10:11,403 - Do you remember what you said to me, Oliver? 217 00:10:11,403 --> 00:10:13,739 - I sure do. I said, 218 00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:16,200 "How about you be my assistant, instead?" 219 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:17,951 - [giggles] That's right. - Yes. 220 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:18,952 - Word for word. 221 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,204 The floor is yours. 222 00:10:20,204 --> 00:10:22,164 - Thank you, Howard. [scattered applause] 223 00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:23,290 Ah-- [nervous laugh] 224 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:26,251 So our leading man is running a skitch late, 225 00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,295 but let's go ahead and get started. 226 00:10:28,754 --> 00:10:31,757 I welcome you all... to the world... 227 00:10:32,341 --> 00:10:33,717 of Death Rattle! 228 00:10:33,717 --> 00:10:36,053 [gasps, applause] 229 00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:37,721 - Oh, my God! OLIVER: Yeah. 230 00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:40,265 A story of death 231 00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:42,226 that happens in a lighthouse 232 00:10:42,226 --> 00:10:44,686 in foggy upper Nova Scotia, 233 00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:47,564 where the only person in the room, when the deaths occurred, 234 00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:50,067 is an infant child. 235 00:10:50,609 --> 00:10:53,779 Now, some may call this chestnut of a play 236 00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:55,572 a little dusty, 237 00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:57,741 uh, but of course, I've been called that myself 238 00:10:57,741 --> 00:11:00,077 a few times, frankly. [laughs] [all laughing] 239 00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:01,912 [blows, coughs] 240 00:11:01,912 --> 00:11:03,163 [laughter] 241 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,457 When our amazing producer, Donna Demeo, 242 00:11:05,457 --> 00:11:07,668 first called me about-- - With Clifford. 243 00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:09,795 [nervous laugh] My son, Cliff, 244 00:11:09,795 --> 00:11:13,507 who is making his first solo producing effort here. 245 00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:15,050 [sighs] But with me. 246 00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:17,052 [scattered applause] CLIFF: Thanks, Mom. Thank you, thanks. 247 00:11:17,052 --> 00:11:20,138 I am so super excited because, like your characters 248 00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:23,058 who are trapped in a hurricane in a deadly lighthouse, 249 00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:25,477 we're gonna take Broadway by storm! 250 00:11:26,270 --> 00:11:29,356 [gasps, surprised chatter] 251 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,525 - Wow! DONNA: How about that? 252 00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:33,819 I'm so proud of my boy. 253 00:11:33,819 --> 00:11:36,196 So, so, so, so, so... 254 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,406 [moans] 255 00:11:37,406 --> 00:11:38,782 proud. [giggles] 256 00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:41,326 He's gay, so I can kiss him like that. [quiet squeal] 257 00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:43,120 [awkward chuckle, sniff] 258 00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:46,290 - Alrighty, then. So, I think that-- 259 00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:48,500 [glass clinking] 260 00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:49,751 - What? 261 00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:51,253 Oh, I just like doing this. 262 00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:52,254 [laughter] 263 00:11:52,254 --> 00:11:54,298 No, no, if I may. Uh, 264 00:11:54,298 --> 00:11:57,092 we're in a very small room here, and I'd like to address 265 00:11:57,092 --> 00:11:59,970 the show business elephant inside it, 266 00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:03,682 and that show business elephant is me. 267 00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:05,309 - Oh, dear lord. CHARLES: Yes, 268 00:12:05,309 --> 00:12:06,768 I played Aristotle Brazzos 269 00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:09,313 in 224 episodes of dramatic television. 270 00:12:09,313 --> 00:12:10,856 - Aristotle? - I can't. 271 00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:13,775 - As well as a reboot, uh, which is currently on hiatus 272 00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:17,029 because the producer is up on harassment charges. 273 00:12:17,029 --> 00:12:19,907 I also starred in three made-for-TV movies, 274 00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:22,618 uh, and also a series of TV ads 275 00:12:22,618 --> 00:12:24,161 for the Dukakis campaign. 276 00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:25,913 All this is to say 277 00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:27,915 I'm just like you. 278 00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:29,208 I'm nobody special. 279 00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:31,585 I mean, I'm not any more special 280 00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,712 because, in a way, we're all... 281 00:12:33,712 --> 00:12:36,173 I think it was Gandhi who said, "Isn't everyone, though, just--" 282 00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:38,467 - Thank you so much, Charles. How inspiring. 283 00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:40,219 That was wonderful. - Did I stick the landing? 284 00:12:40,219 --> 00:12:43,472 - The plane is literally scattered across the runway. 285 00:12:43,472 --> 00:12:46,099 Alright then! As we await Ben, 286 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:48,018 why don't we now take a look 287 00:12:48,018 --> 00:12:50,771 at the model for our set? 288 00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:53,065 ♪ 289 00:12:53,065 --> 00:12:55,943 [gasps, excited chatter] [clapping] 290 00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:57,778 MABEL: Okay, secret? 291 00:12:57,778 --> 00:12:59,863 I think theater is kinda lame. 292 00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:02,699 People all dressed up in costumes 293 00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:05,118 no real person would ever wear, 294 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,204 acting like nobody's sitting out there 295 00:13:07,204 --> 00:13:09,873 watching them say things no real person would ever say. 296 00:13:12,084 --> 00:13:15,587 But at least this piece of theater is a murder mystery. 297 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:17,214 That, I can get my head around. 298 00:13:17,214 --> 00:13:21,009 And every murder mystery needs a victim. 299 00:13:21,009 --> 00:13:23,178 - It really is-- - Okay! 300 00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:24,680 Okay! [soft gasps] 301 00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:26,598 Who farted? 302 00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:29,017 [laughter] 303 00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:31,353 - Ben Glenroy, ladies and gentlemen! - No, stop, stop, stop, stop! 304 00:13:31,353 --> 00:13:34,231 [applause, excited chatter] 305 00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:38,193 Thank you. Oh, by the way, this is my manager, Dickie. 306 00:13:38,193 --> 00:13:40,946 He's not just my manager, he's also my brother. 307 00:13:40,946 --> 00:13:42,865 But please don't say nepotism 308 00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,825 because he gets very insecure about his abilities. 309 00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:45,826 - [laughs] Hi. 310 00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:47,578 BEN: He's also the reason we're late. 311 00:13:47,578 --> 00:13:49,705 Dickie had us a, a block over. 312 00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:51,540 No way! You guys! 313 00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:53,625 This is my cast? - Yes! 314 00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:56,962 Yes, and we are so thrilled! - Hi. I'm Ben. 315 00:13:56,962 --> 00:13:59,298 I'm also trained as an intimacy coordinator. 316 00:13:59,298 --> 00:14:00,507 - Hi, I'm Kimber, 317 00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,968 and I didn't realize we had any love scenes. 318 00:14:02,968 --> 00:14:04,928 - What? We're in the middle of one right now. 319 00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:06,972 - Oh. [laughs] - Timber for Kimber. 320 00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:09,183 [Kimber giggling] And you... 321 00:14:09,183 --> 00:14:12,936 are way too fuckin' handsome. Somebody fire him, now! 322 00:14:12,936 --> 00:14:14,521 [laughter] - I'm Ty. 323 00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:17,274 - Oh! If y'all would just please quick sign these NDAs, 324 00:14:17,274 --> 00:14:19,985 and the last page telling us you're okay with us filming. 325 00:14:19,985 --> 00:14:21,278 - I-I'm sorry, filming? 326 00:14:21,278 --> 00:14:23,447 - Yeah. Two, uh, shows for the price of one. 327 00:14:23,447 --> 00:14:27,034 My Broadway debut, and a documentary about my Broadway debut. 328 00:14:27,034 --> 00:14:30,787 This is my documentarian, Tobert. You heard that right. 329 00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:32,247 - It's Robert with a T. 330 00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:34,082 Hey, Broadway, I am just an observer. 331 00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:36,210 This is literally the last time you're gonna hear my voice. 332 00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:38,003 - Hello, Ben. I'm Charles-Haden Savage. 333 00:14:38,003 --> 00:14:39,755 - Fuck me! - Oh wow... 334 00:14:39,755 --> 00:14:42,549 - Oh, the energy coming from this corner! 335 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:44,801 Am I right? Do we all feel this? 336 00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,220 - Ben, this is our Nanny. 337 00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:48,055 - Loretta. - Yeah. 338 00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:49,598 - Oliver tells me you're one to look out for. 339 00:14:49,598 --> 00:14:52,226 - Oh, well, Oliver flatters. 340 00:14:52,226 --> 00:14:53,727 - Just don't upstage me. 341 00:14:54,645 --> 00:14:57,523 [laughs] I'm kidding. I'm kidding. 342 00:14:57,523 --> 00:14:59,858 No, I'm honored to work with you. LORETTA: Oh my. 343 00:14:59,858 --> 00:15:02,152 Well, my friends are just beside themselves 344 00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:04,112 that I'm gonna get to work with The CoBro. 345 00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:07,324 - Oh God, no, please. Just... Just CoBro. 346 00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:09,284 - Sorry? BEN: Yeah, no, 347 00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:11,411 the "the" makes me sound like an asshole. 348 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,163 - Oh. - Like the Rock. 349 00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:16,667 Or the Pope. I mean, come on, get over yourselves. Right? 350 00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:19,711 But, in the films, I'm just the friendly zoologist 351 00:15:19,711 --> 00:15:21,964 who morphs into a 20-foot cobra 352 00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:24,466 and helps the cops save the day. 353 00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:26,176 Hey, you. 354 00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:31,056 - Oh, hi. I loved you in Girl Cop. 355 00:15:31,056 --> 00:15:33,058 - Oh, that old thing? 356 00:15:34,643 --> 00:15:35,644 [blows] 357 00:15:35,644 --> 00:15:37,563 [Mabel giggling] [Ben chuckles] 358 00:15:37,563 --> 00:15:39,731 - Alright, well, this is exciting. 359 00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:41,942 Shall we take our seats and start the read? 360 00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:44,486 - Oh, yeah! Yeah, yeah! A read-through! [excited chatter] 361 00:15:44,486 --> 00:15:46,572 I wanna read! Oh, hey, by the way. 362 00:15:46,572 --> 00:15:48,907 Thanks for the tip on Amy Schumer's place. 363 00:15:48,907 --> 00:15:50,701 Just moved in. - Oh! 364 00:15:50,701 --> 00:15:53,203 - Tell her she left a bunch of cottage cheese in the fridge. 365 00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:56,373 Fuck... Fuck... Fuckerballs. Fuck. 366 00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:58,500 Dickie? There's cookies here. 367 00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:01,503 - Oh no. Ben can't have cookies. 368 00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:03,922 He's on a very strict diet for CoBro, 369 00:16:03,922 --> 00:16:07,217 and cookies are [laughs] a weakness. 370 00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:09,595 - Well, not a weakness. I just... 371 00:16:10,596 --> 00:16:12,639 Where are they from? - Schmackary's. 372 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:15,142 - Oh... God, even the name is sexy. 373 00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:18,061 - I'll take them. - No, it's fine, it's fine. Leave 'em. 374 00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:19,521 Leave 'em! Just... 375 00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:21,607 Let's read. OLIVER: Alright! 376 00:16:21,607 --> 00:16:23,609 So, this is kind of exciting. 377 00:16:23,609 --> 00:16:25,694 Shall we begin, KT? 378 00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:27,154 - From the top, everyone. 379 00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:28,363 Ladies and gentlemen, 380 00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:31,825 I give you... page one. 381 00:16:31,825 --> 00:16:32,868 [sloshing] 382 00:16:32,868 --> 00:16:34,870 - I wasn't ready. [clears throat] 383 00:16:36,246 --> 00:16:38,957 [dramatically] "It's a night in upper Nova Scotia." 384 00:16:38,957 --> 00:16:41,335 - Oh, hot damn! That is a hot Schmackary. 385 00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:45,839 Sorry. I just had a corner. 386 00:16:45,839 --> 00:16:48,342 No more. It's alright. 387 00:16:48,342 --> 00:16:50,552 Reading. [Howard clears throat] 388 00:16:50,552 --> 00:16:53,263 - "A detective makes his way toward the audience. 389 00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:54,640 He is our narrator." 390 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:57,893 - [deep voice] "What turned me into a creature of the night? 391 00:16:57,893 --> 00:16:59,436 "Let me tell you. 392 00:16:59,436 --> 00:17:02,231 "I just finished up a case in Halifax when I got a call 393 00:17:02,231 --> 00:17:06,193 "about some curious goings-on at the old Pickwick Lighthouse. 394 00:17:06,193 --> 00:17:08,362 I made my way to see for myself." 395 00:17:08,362 --> 00:17:11,823 - "A lighthouse appears, and a storm shelter door opens. 396 00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:14,826 A nanny emerges from the shelter." 397 00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,204 - [thick Scottish accent] "Storm's comin'. 398 00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:21,333 Don't think it's a night for roaming the rocks." 399 00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:29,174 - I-I'm sorry, I think I missed some of those words. 400 00:17:29,174 --> 00:17:32,886 - Oh, I was trying a Scottish dialect. OLIVER: Uh-huh. 401 00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:35,264 Because the nanny's... 402 00:17:35,264 --> 00:17:38,267 - The nanny refers to a childhood in Aberdeen. 403 00:17:39,935 --> 00:17:40,978 - Right. 404 00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:43,063 LORETTA: Um, or, or not. 405 00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:45,732 - No, no, no, no, no. I-It's okay to try things. 406 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,359 L-Let's just go again. 407 00:17:47,359 --> 00:17:50,362 - "A nanny emerges from the shelter." 408 00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:52,197 - [Québécois accent] "Storm's coming. 409 00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:56,243 Don't think it's a night for roaming on the rocks." 410 00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:00,414 French Canadian. 411 00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:04,543 Because it's up in the Maritimes there. 412 00:18:04,543 --> 00:18:07,504 So, a lot of French... I'm sorry. 413 00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:10,507 It's-- [laughs] This is my process. 414 00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:14,428 It's just how I... find the nanny's voice. 415 00:18:14,428 --> 00:18:15,429 OLIVER: You know what? 416 00:18:15,429 --> 00:18:18,432 Maybe we try it slightly more how you talk. 417 00:18:22,519 --> 00:18:24,438 - "A nanny emerges from the shelter." 418 00:18:24,980 --> 00:18:26,273 - Um... 419 00:18:26,273 --> 00:18:27,858 [flatly] "Storm's coming. 420 00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:32,696 [sighs] Don't think it's a night for roaming on the rocks." 421 00:18:32,696 --> 00:18:33,739 [inhales] 422 00:18:36,491 --> 00:18:37,701 - Um... 423 00:18:37,701 --> 00:18:39,328 "I don't go roaming anywhere." 424 00:18:55,010 --> 00:18:56,053 - [whispers] It's you. 425 00:18:59,932 --> 00:19:02,643 - [gasps] Oh, my God, it's me! [laughs] Oh, I'm so... 426 00:19:02,643 --> 00:19:03,644 [laughs] 427 00:19:03,644 --> 00:19:05,854 Oh, I'm sorry, it's me, isn't it? 428 00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:07,231 - I-It's your line, yes. 429 00:19:07,231 --> 00:19:09,274 - You know what? I didn't highlight that one. 430 00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:10,609 I'm gonna do that right now. 431 00:19:10,609 --> 00:19:13,529 - Good. Now, you'll always have it... 432 00:19:13,529 --> 00:19:14,821 there 'cause it's highlighted. 433 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:18,325 ♪ 434 00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:19,618 [quiet chatter] 435 00:19:19,618 --> 00:19:21,119 [Ben sighs] 436 00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:23,497 - [quietly] Our nanny is a stinkeroony. 437 00:19:23,497 --> 00:19:25,332 - [quietly] No, Ben, Ben, she'll be fine. 438 00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:27,167 She's just finding the voice. You heard her. 439 00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:29,169 - Do you hear me, Oliver? 440 00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:31,338 She's a stinkeroony! [sighs] 441 00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:33,423 I say give her the boo-tay before we... 442 00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:35,634 get too far down the road. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 443 00:19:35,634 --> 00:19:38,595 Tru-- Just-- Loretta is very special. 444 00:19:38,595 --> 00:19:40,597 Just let me talk to her, okay? 445 00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:41,849 Just... 446 00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:48,605 Hello. - Oh gosh, I'm so sorry. I'm... 447 00:19:49,273 --> 00:19:50,315 I get nervous 448 00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:52,818 and I'm not good at table reads. 449 00:19:53,443 --> 00:19:55,988 But, please, please don't give up on me. 450 00:19:56,488 --> 00:19:58,407 - Listen to me. Um... 451 00:19:58,407 --> 00:20:00,576 My first table read, 452 00:20:00,576 --> 00:20:02,995 there was a young actor, 453 00:20:02,995 --> 00:20:04,621 and he got very nervous, 454 00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:06,540 and he was missing lines, 455 00:20:06,540 --> 00:20:08,876 inaudible dialogue. It was painful. 456 00:20:08,876 --> 00:20:10,502 - [sighs] Yeah. 457 00:20:10,502 --> 00:20:12,504 - Everyone tells me to fire him 458 00:20:12,963 --> 00:20:14,464 but I refused. 459 00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:17,092 And you know who that young actor was? 460 00:20:17,718 --> 00:20:19,386 - No. No! 461 00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:21,847 - No one you'd know. Everyone was right. 462 00:20:21,847 --> 00:20:24,224 He was a train wreck. I fired him three weeks later. 463 00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:26,894 But you are not that. 464 00:20:26,894 --> 00:20:29,021 You are the opposite of that. 465 00:20:30,147 --> 00:20:32,482 And anyone who has not seen that yet 466 00:20:33,108 --> 00:20:36,195 is either dumb, blind, or a combination of the two. 467 00:20:36,195 --> 00:20:38,197 [giggles] You go, 468 00:20:38,989 --> 00:20:40,115 I go. 469 00:20:40,115 --> 00:20:41,658 - Oh, Oliver, gosh... 470 00:20:41,658 --> 00:20:43,160 - You go, 471 00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:45,495 I go. 472 00:20:46,747 --> 00:20:48,290 Okay? [sighs] 473 00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:49,958 ♪ 474 00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:52,044 - Thank you. Thank you. 475 00:20:52,044 --> 00:20:54,213 - Okay. Alright. [sniffles] 476 00:20:54,963 --> 00:20:57,257 Oh, my God, Loretta. Where is Loretta? 477 00:20:57,257 --> 00:20:59,551 - Loretta is in her dressing room. She is pretty upset, 478 00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:01,845 but she said she'll try to make the... party. 479 00:21:01,845 --> 00:21:04,765 - Okay. - Are you sure a party is a... 480 00:21:04,765 --> 00:21:06,517 you know... - What? 481 00:21:06,517 --> 00:21:08,936 No, no, no, no. Spit it out, Charles. 482 00:21:08,936 --> 00:21:12,648 Heap some more suffering onto my already full plate! 483 00:21:13,232 --> 00:21:16,235 There might be a little room next to the despair! 484 00:21:16,235 --> 00:21:18,695 ♪ 485 00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:21,406 - Party sounds nice. [panting, growls] 486 00:21:25,744 --> 00:21:26,995 Party... 487 00:21:26,995 --> 00:21:29,831 ♪ 488 00:21:31,667 --> 00:21:33,752 LESTER: Shouldn't be too much longer, people! 489 00:21:33,752 --> 00:21:35,671 Patience, people, patience! 490 00:21:35,671 --> 00:21:37,548 UMA: Ugh. This is ridiculous. 491 00:21:37,548 --> 00:21:40,634 - Safety first. Don't worry. It's all good. We'll get there. 492 00:21:40,634 --> 00:21:44,012 Uma, I promise you, I'll get you in. I promise. 493 00:21:44,012 --> 00:21:46,473 - What's going on? LESTER: We'll get there, don't worry. 494 00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:47,766 - The elevator's out. - Ugh! 495 00:21:47,766 --> 00:21:49,935 - Got them working overtime on it. Should be up and running soon. 496 00:21:49,935 --> 00:21:53,605 - Okay, listen, guys-- - The press is already up my ass. 497 00:21:53,605 --> 00:21:56,859 We need to get a statement out. - "Ben Glenroy" is trending on Twitter. 498 00:21:56,859 --> 00:21:59,736 So is "RIP Ben Glenroy." So is "Ben Dead." 499 00:21:59,736 --> 00:22:02,823 So is... "Real Housewives"? Oh, my God, was tonight the reunion? 500 00:22:02,823 --> 00:22:03,824 - Yeah, listen. 501 00:22:03,824 --> 00:22:06,785 This is the moment where producers really matter. 502 00:22:06,785 --> 00:22:09,955 Just because Ben is dead, doesn't mean the show has to die, too. 503 00:22:09,955 --> 00:22:11,582 - Oliver, you're in shock. 504 00:22:11,582 --> 00:22:13,667 The fact this happened in the Goosebury, 505 00:22:13,667 --> 00:22:16,461 the same theater as your Splash... 506 00:22:16,461 --> 00:22:19,256 [growls] I'm not saying you're cursed, 507 00:22:19,256 --> 00:22:21,049 but it wouldn't surprise me if you pissed off 508 00:22:21,049 --> 00:22:23,677 a witch or two in a previous life. [growls] 509 00:22:23,677 --> 00:22:25,971 - Only seven at a time allowed in the one that's working. 510 00:22:25,971 --> 00:22:28,473 - And tenants have priority status! 511 00:22:28,473 --> 00:22:31,268 - Along with the hosts of the saddest opening night party in history! 512 00:22:31,268 --> 00:22:32,978 ♪ 513 00:22:32,978 --> 00:22:34,813 LESTER: That's it! That's it. 514 00:22:35,564 --> 00:22:37,149 DONNA: 10? OLIVER: Yes. 515 00:22:37,149 --> 00:22:38,775 - At least you had the consideration 516 00:22:38,775 --> 00:22:41,195 to keep the body out of the building this time. 517 00:22:41,195 --> 00:22:43,447 - You always know just what to say, Uma. 518 00:22:43,447 --> 00:22:45,449 - It's a goddamn gift. 519 00:22:46,325 --> 00:22:49,328 [quiet party chatter] [plates, glasses clinking] 520 00:22:49,328 --> 00:22:52,331 ♪ soft music playing ♪ 521 00:22:53,540 --> 00:22:54,541 [KT gasps] 522 00:22:57,044 --> 00:22:58,545 JONATHAN: Oh, man. 523 00:22:59,505 --> 00:23:02,174 Oh, you're using Ben's opening night gift. 524 00:23:02,174 --> 00:23:03,800 - Yeah, didn't think I'd need it so soon. 525 00:23:05,886 --> 00:23:07,221 - It really is a beautiful gift. 526 00:23:08,138 --> 00:23:10,641 - I didn't realize assistants got one, too. 527 00:23:11,141 --> 00:23:12,976 How very generous of Ben. 528 00:23:12,976 --> 00:23:15,562 - And I didn't realize stage managers wiped their nose 529 00:23:15,562 --> 00:23:17,648 with anything other than the bottom of their palm. 530 00:23:17,648 --> 00:23:19,316 - You've got crumbs in your beard. 531 00:23:19,316 --> 00:23:22,152 - ♪ And let's reach for stars... ♪ 532 00:23:25,113 --> 00:23:28,116 OLIVER: Oh, great. Let's just leave all the cellophane on the food. 533 00:23:29,201 --> 00:23:31,245 - Hey, Oliver. How you holding up? 534 00:23:31,703 --> 00:23:33,413 - I just ate a dinner roll. 535 00:23:33,413 --> 00:23:34,957 - Wow, that bad? 536 00:23:34,957 --> 00:23:38,168 - The lead of my play left my stage without a pulse, 537 00:23:38,168 --> 00:23:40,170 and all I can think about is my career. 538 00:23:41,797 --> 00:23:43,632 I don't know, Mabel. 539 00:23:43,632 --> 00:23:46,343 Narcissism should really be more fun than this. 540 00:23:47,344 --> 00:23:50,722 Maybe I am cursed. - Well, shit, Oliver. 541 00:23:50,722 --> 00:23:51,723 [sighs] 542 00:23:52,349 --> 00:23:55,185 My first thought when he went down? 543 00:23:55,185 --> 00:23:56,687 Maybe he was poisoned. 544 00:23:57,479 --> 00:24:01,483 And a podcast about the poisoning of a big movie star? 545 00:24:01,483 --> 00:24:03,694 That could be big. 546 00:24:03,694 --> 00:24:06,780 And maybe with their play shut down, 547 00:24:06,780 --> 00:24:08,991 and a new podcast in motion, 548 00:24:08,991 --> 00:24:12,202 maybe I could spend more time with my guys again. 549 00:24:14,705 --> 00:24:16,164 - Me more than him, right? 550 00:24:16,164 --> 00:24:18,458 - I don't pick favorite olds. 551 00:24:20,043 --> 00:24:21,336 - Better to leave it unsaid. 552 00:24:22,045 --> 00:24:23,046 [knowing growl] 553 00:24:23,046 --> 00:24:24,882 [knocking on door] 554 00:24:27,384 --> 00:24:29,386 [sighs] - How you doing, Charlie? 555 00:24:29,386 --> 00:24:32,306 Aw... - Oh. Traumatized, uh, perplexed. 556 00:24:32,306 --> 00:24:34,391 [quietly] Am I allowed to say relieved? 557 00:24:34,391 --> 00:24:36,810 I mean, my nerves couldn't take eight shows a week. 558 00:24:36,810 --> 00:24:38,228 But don't tell Oliver I said that. 559 00:24:38,228 --> 00:24:41,231 - Oh, I'm a steel trap... Oh, Charlie. [sighs] 560 00:24:41,231 --> 00:24:44,234 It's okay to be relieved that the show is over. 561 00:24:44,985 --> 00:24:46,904 Means more time for us. 562 00:24:46,904 --> 00:24:49,990 - It does. Hey, did you get Lucy home alright? 563 00:24:49,990 --> 00:24:51,992 - Yeah. That girl's a lot. 564 00:24:51,992 --> 00:24:53,911 I'm ready to get trashed. 565 00:24:53,911 --> 00:24:57,331 ♪ soft piano music playing ♪ 566 00:24:57,331 --> 00:24:59,499 [quiet party chatter] 567 00:24:59,499 --> 00:25:02,878 ♪ 568 00:25:05,130 --> 00:25:06,715 - I didn't know you tinkered. 569 00:25:06,715 --> 00:25:08,842 - Oh, I tinker. 570 00:25:08,842 --> 00:25:10,219 [Oliver chuckles] 571 00:25:10,219 --> 00:25:12,054 - Keep tinkering. 572 00:25:12,054 --> 00:25:15,390 - ♪ And the dearest love ♪ 573 00:25:15,390 --> 00:25:18,268 ♪ In all the world ♪ 574 00:25:18,644 --> 00:25:21,813 ♪ Is waiting somewhere ♪ 575 00:25:21,813 --> 00:25:24,107 ♪ For me ♪ 576 00:25:24,107 --> 00:25:26,652 BOTH: ♪ Is waiting ♪ 577 00:25:26,652 --> 00:25:29,238 ♪ Somewhere ♪ 578 00:25:29,238 --> 00:25:32,741 ♪ Somewhere for ♪ 579 00:25:32,741 --> 00:25:36,703 ♪ Me... ♪ 580 00:25:37,371 --> 00:25:38,539 ♪ stops playing ♪ 581 00:25:38,539 --> 00:25:40,165 [both giggle] 582 00:25:40,165 --> 00:25:43,210 - I feel better now. How about you? 583 00:25:43,210 --> 00:25:45,671 - Good as new. [laughs] 584 00:25:45,671 --> 00:25:48,674 Hey. Can you look at the [sighs] 585 00:25:48,674 --> 00:25:52,010 back of my earring? Is the thing snapped into the thing? 586 00:25:52,010 --> 00:25:53,846 - Are these technical terms? - No. [sighs] 587 00:25:53,846 --> 00:25:57,140 I just had to get outta my costume so fast, 588 00:25:57,140 --> 00:25:58,684 I'm not sure I hooked it in right. 589 00:25:58,684 --> 00:26:01,562 - Wouldn't you know it? The thing is in the thing. 590 00:26:01,562 --> 00:26:03,605 - Good. [Oliver sighs] 591 00:26:03,605 --> 00:26:05,941 - Thank you for making me feel lighter. 592 00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:08,318 If only for a minute. 593 00:26:08,861 --> 00:26:10,571 Oh God. [sighs] 594 00:26:11,405 --> 00:26:13,407 I wanted tonight to happen. 595 00:26:14,741 --> 00:26:16,243 For both of us, most of all. 596 00:26:17,327 --> 00:26:18,328 [sighs] 597 00:26:19,037 --> 00:26:21,123 - Well [inhales, exhales] 598 00:26:21,123 --> 00:26:23,000 the show may be over 599 00:26:24,168 --> 00:26:26,503 but doesn't that mean 600 00:26:26,503 --> 00:26:29,840 we're not obliged to live by your show rule anymore? 601 00:26:31,175 --> 00:26:32,176 ♪ 602 00:26:32,176 --> 00:26:34,178 The one that keeps things... 603 00:26:34,761 --> 00:26:36,263 professional... 604 00:26:36,722 --> 00:26:39,850 [laughs] and platonic? 605 00:26:39,850 --> 00:26:41,268 ♪ 606 00:26:41,268 --> 00:26:42,436 [door opening] 607 00:26:42,436 --> 00:26:45,147 BEN: Okay! Okay! [crowd gasping, screaming] 608 00:26:45,147 --> 00:26:46,398 Who farted?! 609 00:26:46,398 --> 00:26:48,358 [crowd gasping] 610 00:26:48,358 --> 00:26:50,569 Mama's back, bitches! 611 00:26:50,569 --> 00:26:53,071 That's right. I'm alive! 612 00:26:53,071 --> 00:26:55,449 CHARLES: H-How could you-- What? MABEL: What the fuck? 613 00:26:55,449 --> 00:26:57,201 [Ben sighs, pants] 614 00:26:57,201 --> 00:26:58,785 - I was dead, dude. 615 00:26:58,785 --> 00:27:02,581 For, like, an hour. They said it was like a record in their hospital. 616 00:27:02,581 --> 00:27:05,000 Right, Dickie? - Oh, they didn't say anything like that. 617 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,586 - They pumped my stomach. I barfed up a ton. 618 00:27:07,586 --> 00:27:09,755 I don't know. They said maybe it was something I ate? 619 00:27:09,755 --> 00:27:11,840 - But y-you had blood in your mouth! 620 00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:15,260 - Yeah. Well, I bit the fuck outta my tongue when I fell. 621 00:27:15,260 --> 00:27:16,512 I don't feel it now, though. 622 00:27:17,596 --> 00:27:18,597 [heaves] 623 00:27:18,597 --> 00:27:20,057 [crowd murmuring] 624 00:27:20,057 --> 00:27:21,725 [heaves] 625 00:27:21,725 --> 00:27:23,143 [gags] Oh, sorry. 626 00:27:23,143 --> 00:27:26,021 The nurses-- oh, my God. They were so freaked out. 627 00:27:26,021 --> 00:27:27,648 The doctors were like, "Do not go anywhere!" 628 00:27:27,648 --> 00:27:29,816 But I had to get back to see you guys! 629 00:27:29,816 --> 00:27:31,318 My cast. My... 630 00:27:32,402 --> 00:27:33,445 [phone recording] I just... 631 00:27:37,950 --> 00:27:39,576 Oh, wow! 632 00:27:39,576 --> 00:27:40,994 Sorry! [sniffles] 633 00:27:40,994 --> 00:27:43,789 Shit! I did not expect to get emotional! 634 00:27:43,789 --> 00:27:45,707 But, when I was dead, guys? 635 00:27:46,959 --> 00:27:48,460 I saw the light. 636 00:27:48,460 --> 00:27:51,046 That light, yes. The dead person light. 637 00:27:51,588 --> 00:27:52,840 I saw it. 638 00:27:54,341 --> 00:27:57,386 And I saw all the shit that I pulled with all of you 639 00:27:57,386 --> 00:27:58,929 over these last few months. 640 00:27:58,929 --> 00:28:00,931 And I thought, I can't die like this. 641 00:28:02,599 --> 00:28:06,019 And so, I'm back, and I'm gonna be so much better. 642 00:28:06,019 --> 00:28:09,106 And we are going to kick ass with this show. 643 00:28:09,106 --> 00:28:11,608 You hear me, Oliver? - Oh, my God. 644 00:28:12,568 --> 00:28:14,611 You're really alive... 645 00:28:16,113 --> 00:28:17,614 and so soft. 646 00:28:18,407 --> 00:28:19,449 [both sigh] 647 00:28:20,075 --> 00:28:21,118 [snorts] 648 00:28:21,910 --> 00:28:23,579 - Kimber... 649 00:28:23,579 --> 00:28:25,289 [heavy breathing] 650 00:28:25,289 --> 00:28:28,292 I'm so sorry I made everything messy between us. 651 00:28:29,168 --> 00:28:30,502 I fucked up. 652 00:28:31,420 --> 00:28:32,921 But I'm gonna make it right. 653 00:28:32,921 --> 00:28:34,882 ♪ 654 00:28:34,882 --> 00:28:37,593 Ty. Forgive me, please, for... 655 00:28:38,510 --> 00:28:40,929 getting so mad at you for wanting to use my trainer. 656 00:28:40,929 --> 00:28:43,140 It's just, Hutch is my secret weapon. 657 00:28:43,140 --> 00:28:45,225 And, you know, there's no shot you can afford him, 658 00:28:45,225 --> 00:28:47,728 but I-I suppose I could give you his digits. 659 00:28:49,104 --> 00:28:50,355 Jonathan. 660 00:28:51,523 --> 00:28:52,774 Jonathan! 661 00:28:54,151 --> 00:28:55,527 My understudy. 662 00:28:55,527 --> 00:28:57,404 [laughs] When this started, 663 00:28:57,404 --> 00:28:59,823 I was never gonna let you ever step foot on that stage, 664 00:28:59,823 --> 00:29:01,658 but, moving forward, 665 00:29:02,326 --> 00:29:03,702 I'm gonna consider it. 666 00:29:03,702 --> 00:29:05,370 Maybe a Wednesday matinee! 667 00:29:05,370 --> 00:29:08,665 - Let's not over-promise here. BEN: Ha, Donna! 668 00:29:08,665 --> 00:29:10,667 My beloved producer! 669 00:29:11,126 --> 00:29:12,628 You and your... 670 00:29:14,254 --> 00:29:16,256 boy. - It's Cliff. 671 00:29:16,256 --> 00:29:19,760 - I know. That's what I said. Look, um... [sighs] 672 00:29:20,594 --> 00:29:22,596 I know I haven't been easy to deal with, 673 00:29:22,596 --> 00:29:24,056 with all my complaints about... 674 00:29:24,515 --> 00:29:26,266 the... size of my dressing room, 675 00:29:26,266 --> 00:29:28,352 and the... shape of my dressing room, 676 00:29:28,352 --> 00:29:30,145 and the color palette of my dressing room. 677 00:29:30,145 --> 00:29:32,981 Basically, everything I've ever said about my... 678 00:29:32,981 --> 00:29:34,775 unnecessarily shitty dressing room. 679 00:29:34,775 --> 00:29:36,235 I take it all back. 680 00:29:36,235 --> 00:29:37,778 Uh-- [sighs] 681 00:29:37,778 --> 00:29:39,613 I'm really so sorry, Donna. 682 00:29:39,613 --> 00:29:40,948 And I'm so sorry, boy. 683 00:29:40,948 --> 00:29:43,200 - Cliff. - Right. [sighs] 684 00:29:43,951 --> 00:29:46,370 Would be great if we could fix up my dressing room, by the way. 685 00:29:46,370 --> 00:29:49,081 It's the last time I'm gonna mention anything, alright? 686 00:29:49,081 --> 00:29:50,874 Pinky swear. Bobo! 687 00:29:50,874 --> 00:29:53,418 Look at-- Bobo. You know what? You're s-- [sighs] 688 00:29:53,418 --> 00:29:55,128 You're such a funny guy 689 00:29:55,128 --> 00:29:58,298 and a-all I ever do is say no to you. 690 00:29:58,298 --> 00:29:59,550 But I promise you. 691 00:30:00,509 --> 00:30:02,135 No more no-nos for Bobo. 692 00:30:02,135 --> 00:30:03,887 ♪ 693 00:30:03,887 --> 00:30:05,556 KT, my bad 694 00:30:05,556 --> 00:30:08,100 for accusing you of stealing my mangoes. 695 00:30:08,100 --> 00:30:10,811 Ataulfo season is really short, and it's pretty much the only fruit 696 00:30:10,811 --> 00:30:12,437 I can eat on the CoBro Diet. 697 00:30:12,437 --> 00:30:15,023 - I know it was coming from a place of love. 698 00:30:15,023 --> 00:30:17,025 - It wasn't, but thank you. 699 00:30:19,820 --> 00:30:21,238 Oh. 700 00:30:21,238 --> 00:30:23,866 And Loretta. [weak laugh] 701 00:30:24,283 --> 00:30:25,993 The consummate professional! 702 00:30:25,993 --> 00:30:28,745 ♪ 703 00:30:28,745 --> 00:30:30,163 But... 704 00:30:31,331 --> 00:30:33,625 CoBro knows a fellow snake when he sees one. 705 00:30:34,918 --> 00:30:38,297 [long hiss] 706 00:30:40,090 --> 00:30:40,966 [short hiss] 707 00:30:43,093 --> 00:30:45,012 And Charles! - Oh, don't worry about me! 708 00:30:45,012 --> 00:30:48,599 You can skip me! I get it! You're a new man, which is exciting. 709 00:30:49,892 --> 00:30:52,060 - You and I never got off on the right foot. 710 00:30:52,060 --> 00:30:53,854 CHARLES: Nope. - And if anyone here was happy 711 00:30:53,854 --> 00:30:57,566 that I was maybe dead, I bet it was you. 712 00:30:58,192 --> 00:30:59,651 - Yeah. - I know you don't have 713 00:30:59,651 --> 00:31:02,613 many more years left to hone your craft. 714 00:31:02,613 --> 00:31:05,073 And I get that every day counts. 715 00:31:05,073 --> 00:31:07,826 And after this experience, I really get it now. 716 00:31:07,826 --> 00:31:09,077 So, 717 00:31:09,828 --> 00:31:11,246 to starting over? 718 00:31:12,956 --> 00:31:14,458 - To starting over. 719 00:31:15,959 --> 00:31:18,879 [phone ringing] DICKIE: Ben, you gotta take this. 720 00:31:18,879 --> 00:31:21,840 - What? Oh. Ben's gotta take this. [scoffs] 721 00:31:22,841 --> 00:31:24,551 Oh. Um... [silences phone] 722 00:31:24,551 --> 00:31:26,553 Yeah, I'll go somewhere quieter. 723 00:31:27,513 --> 00:31:30,974 Guys! I'm gonna go up to my apartment and crash, 724 00:31:30,974 --> 00:31:33,227 shower up, maybe shake off the cobwebs, 725 00:31:33,227 --> 00:31:35,020 but I'll see you this week, alright? 726 00:31:35,020 --> 00:31:36,522 Death Rattle lives! 727 00:31:36,522 --> 00:31:39,024 [confused murmuring] 728 00:31:39,024 --> 00:31:40,234 CLIFF: Wow. 729 00:31:40,234 --> 00:31:41,735 Word is out. Ben is back. 730 00:31:41,735 --> 00:31:43,612 [door opens, shuts] 731 00:31:43,612 --> 00:31:46,740 - It's a hell of a story to reopen a play with, people. 732 00:31:46,740 --> 00:31:48,116 [quiet murmuring] 733 00:31:48,116 --> 00:31:49,910 - So we're back. 734 00:31:49,910 --> 00:31:51,912 We're all back on Broadway! 735 00:31:51,912 --> 00:31:54,581 ♪ 736 00:31:54,581 --> 00:31:57,167 [hesitant chatter] [scattered applause] 737 00:31:57,167 --> 00:32:00,295 - Congrats. You must be thrilled. - Mm. 738 00:32:00,295 --> 00:32:02,756 - I said you must be thrilled. 739 00:32:02,756 --> 00:32:04,758 - Ben may be back, 740 00:32:04,758 --> 00:32:06,343 but it doesn't change the fact 741 00:32:06,343 --> 00:32:09,137 that he is a fucking asshole. 742 00:32:12,516 --> 00:32:14,560 ♪ 743 00:32:16,937 --> 00:32:19,022 [keys jingling, lock clicking] 744 00:32:19,022 --> 00:32:20,023 [door unlocking] 745 00:32:21,567 --> 00:32:23,068 [light switch clicks] 746 00:32:23,068 --> 00:32:25,195 [sighs] 747 00:32:25,195 --> 00:32:28,198 ♪ 748 00:32:53,182 --> 00:32:56,185 [quiet street noise outside] 749 00:33:00,647 --> 00:33:03,650 [texting] 750 00:33:08,113 --> 00:33:09,156 [sends text] 751 00:33:10,407 --> 00:33:11,992 CHARLES: I don't know what to make of any of it. 752 00:33:11,992 --> 00:33:14,453 Dead, not dead. Show, no show. [Oliver sighs, sniffs] 753 00:33:14,453 --> 00:33:17,122 - Wait, so you're just gonna reopen the show as if nothing happened? 754 00:33:17,122 --> 00:33:18,749 - Oh, please. Are you kidding? 755 00:33:18,749 --> 00:33:21,502 Donna and Cliff are gonna make a meal out of what happened. 756 00:33:21,502 --> 00:33:23,712 Are you excited, friend? [laughs] - Yeah! 757 00:33:23,712 --> 00:33:26,673 Eight shows a week! Trouper! [sighs] 758 00:33:26,673 --> 00:33:30,052 OLIVER: Oh, I forgot to ask you. Whatever happened to Joy's crazy aunt? 759 00:33:30,052 --> 00:33:32,054 - Oh, she broke up with the hair transplant guy. 760 00:33:32,054 --> 00:33:33,430 - Oh, that's a shock. 761 00:33:33,430 --> 00:33:36,433 Oh, and did her brother ever find out who sent the vulgar placemats? 762 00:33:36,433 --> 00:33:38,685 - Yeah, Ron. - Ron, the guy with the chin? 763 00:33:38,685 --> 00:33:42,189 - Guys, this is not fair! You hang out all the time. 764 00:33:42,189 --> 00:33:45,734 I wanna know about Joy's crazy aunt and... Ron. 765 00:33:45,734 --> 00:33:46,860 - No, no, no. - Oh, Ron's insane. 766 00:33:46,860 --> 00:33:47,903 You don't wanna know about him. 767 00:33:47,903 --> 00:33:50,864 - Well, let me know if he makes more placemats. 768 00:33:50,864 --> 00:33:52,616 Just don't forget about me. 769 00:33:53,158 --> 00:33:55,077 CHARLES: Huh? - What does that mean? 770 00:33:55,077 --> 00:33:57,704 - You know, I can't get over what you've done with this place. 771 00:33:57,704 --> 00:33:59,081 MABEL: Yeah, I know. 772 00:33:59,081 --> 00:34:01,083 That's what the people who bought it said, too. 773 00:34:02,876 --> 00:34:04,378 OLIVER: What? 774 00:34:04,378 --> 00:34:06,547 Your aunt sold the apartment? [shuts door] 775 00:34:06,547 --> 00:34:08,257 - I have to be out in four weeks. 776 00:34:08,257 --> 00:34:09,800 - Seriously? - You're leaving the Arconia? 777 00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:12,219 - I know, I know, but it's... [Oliver sighs] 778 00:34:12,219 --> 00:34:15,222 it's time. I mean, I need to get my own life. 779 00:34:16,265 --> 00:34:18,725 And you can come visit me in Brooklyn. 780 00:34:18,725 --> 00:34:20,727 Or maybe Queens? 781 00:34:22,062 --> 00:34:23,689 I'll come to you. 782 00:34:24,940 --> 00:34:27,943 OLIVER: The most important part of chasing a dream 783 00:34:27,943 --> 00:34:30,362 is the people who chase alongside with you. 784 00:34:30,362 --> 00:34:32,197 - So I was checking our message boards 785 00:34:32,197 --> 00:34:34,700 on our podcast site the other day, 786 00:34:34,700 --> 00:34:37,327 and people were wondering where we'd been. 787 00:34:37,327 --> 00:34:39,079 It's kinda nice to be missed. 788 00:34:39,079 --> 00:34:41,373 - Yeah, it is nice. - Yeah, it is. It is nice. 789 00:34:41,373 --> 00:34:43,584 Those who look beyond the doubters 790 00:34:43,584 --> 00:34:46,003 and choose to believe your dream will happen... 791 00:34:46,003 --> 00:34:48,005 [elevator dings] ...all in good time. 792 00:34:48,005 --> 00:34:51,008 ♪ 793 00:34:51,925 --> 00:34:55,095 - I guess they fixed the elevator? OLIVER: Hm. 794 00:34:55,095 --> 00:34:57,097 - [clears throat] Should we take it? 795 00:34:58,348 --> 00:34:59,766 I'm sort of nervous to take it. 796 00:34:59,766 --> 00:35:02,644 It's been just a gaping hole for how many hours now? 797 00:35:03,812 --> 00:35:05,564 - Hey. If there's one thing I know, 798 00:35:07,441 --> 00:35:09,443 it's that we're good at living on the edge. 799 00:35:13,864 --> 00:35:15,657 OLIVER: Those who will go with you 800 00:35:15,657 --> 00:35:18,202 to help make that moment when you finally arrive 801 00:35:18,202 --> 00:35:20,787 in your own big spotlight... 802 00:35:20,787 --> 00:35:23,415 [elevator creaking loudly] 803 00:35:23,415 --> 00:35:25,834 [metal grinding] 804 00:35:25,834 --> 00:35:28,504 [grinding fades, buzzing] 805 00:35:28,504 --> 00:35:30,589 ...they're the only ones who matter. 806 00:35:31,548 --> 00:35:34,176 - You know, Mabel, w-we couldn't have done the podcast anyway 807 00:35:34,176 --> 00:35:36,261 because Ben didn't die in the building. 808 00:35:40,182 --> 00:35:42,017 [liquid dripping] 809 00:35:42,017 --> 00:35:45,020 ♪ suspenseful music playing ♪ 810 00:35:45,020 --> 00:35:46,980 [dripping continues] 811 00:35:46,980 --> 00:35:48,941 - Wait. What's that? 812 00:35:48,941 --> 00:35:50,651 - Hm? 813 00:35:54,071 --> 00:35:57,032 [dripping increases] 814 00:35:57,032 --> 00:36:00,035 ♪ 815 00:36:00,035 --> 00:36:03,872 [metal creaking] 816 00:36:03,872 --> 00:36:06,083 [glass cracking] 817 00:36:06,083 --> 00:36:07,084 [elevator dings] 818 00:36:09,211 --> 00:36:11,547 [crash] [Uma screams] 819 00:36:15,926 --> 00:36:18,470 - You gotta be fuckin' kidding me. 820 00:36:20,973 --> 00:36:22,432 ♪ music swells ♪ 821 00:36:22,432 --> 00:36:23,517 [Oliver growls] 822 00:36:24,059 --> 00:36:27,062 ♪ 59411

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.