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♪ My eyes are
gettin' weary ♪
2
00:00:03,966 --> 00:00:06,200
♪ My back is gettin' tight
3
00:00:06,267 --> 00:00:08,034
♪ I'm sittin' here
in traffic ♪
4
00:00:08,102 --> 00:00:11,503
♪ On the Queensboro Bridge
tonight ♪
5
00:00:11,571 --> 00:00:16,574
♪ But I don't care,
'cause all I wanna do ♪
6
00:00:16,642 --> 00:00:21,112
♪ Is cash my check and drive
right home to you ♪
7
00:00:22,279 --> 00:00:24,114
♪ 'Cause, baby,
all my life ♪
8
00:00:24,181 --> 00:00:28,349
♪ I will be drivin' home
to you ♪
9
00:00:32,554 --> 00:00:34,288
[Russian Accent] So for
first few days of job,
10
00:00:34,355 --> 00:00:36,556
we open up the walls,
and we spray the fungicide
11
00:00:36,624 --> 00:00:37,657
to get rid of mold.
12
00:00:37,725 --> 00:00:38,758
Uh-huh.
13
00:00:38,826 --> 00:00:39,825
Then we put back the wall
14
00:00:39,893 --> 00:00:41,794
and apply
the anti-microbial coating.
15
00:00:41,861 --> 00:00:43,193
I'll tell ya, I wish I
had some of that coating
16
00:00:43,261 --> 00:00:45,496
after this one's
cooking. [Laughs]
17
00:00:45,564 --> 00:00:47,664
Fire in the hole! You
know what I'm sayin'?
18
00:00:51,135 --> 00:00:52,802
He's just excited
to meet you.
19
00:00:52,869 --> 00:00:54,203
Yeah, yeah,
we're real happy
20
00:00:54,270 --> 00:00:55,304
you're doin' all this
work for us, Steve.
21
00:00:55,371 --> 00:00:56,604
We--We hear
you're the best.
22
00:00:56,672 --> 00:00:57,839
I did win an award
23
00:00:57,907 --> 00:01:00,273
from Long Island Mold
Contractors' Association.
24
00:01:00,341 --> 00:01:01,709
What do they call
that, "The Moldy"?
25
00:01:01,776 --> 00:01:03,777
[Laughing]
26
00:01:03,845 --> 00:01:06,946
It's a very
beautiful award.
27
00:01:07,014 --> 00:01:08,814
So we're
all set then, huh?
28
00:01:08,881 --> 00:01:11,116
Yes, we are all set,
ready to rock 'n' roll.
29
00:01:11,183 --> 00:01:13,184
See you in September.
30
00:01:13,251 --> 00:01:14,251
Wha--
31
00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:15,753
But that's
6 months from now.
32
00:01:15,821 --> 00:01:16,854
Yeah, we can't
wait that long!
33
00:01:16,922 --> 00:01:18,021
I mean, the mold's
under the house,
34
00:01:18,089 --> 00:01:19,122
it--it's in our walls--
35
00:01:19,190 --> 00:01:21,224
What do you want me
to do, wave magic wand?
36
00:01:21,291 --> 00:01:22,825
I have many
big projects going.
37
00:01:22,892 --> 00:01:24,827
But can't we just
work something out?
38
00:01:24,894 --> 00:01:26,493
I don't see how.
39
00:01:26,561 --> 00:01:28,930
Darling, remember that library
book you took out for me
40
00:01:28,997 --> 00:01:30,630
and accused me
of not returning?
41
00:01:30,698 --> 00:01:31,965
Yeah?
42
00:01:32,033 --> 00:01:34,000
Well, here it is.
It's quite overdue,
43
00:01:34,068 --> 00:01:37,469
and I ripped out several
pages in anger.
44
00:01:37,537 --> 00:01:38,703
Thank you.
45
00:01:38,771 --> 00:01:40,338
We're kind of in the middle
of something here, Dad.
46
00:01:40,405 --> 00:01:42,740
Dad? This man
is your father?
47
00:01:42,807 --> 00:01:45,042
Yeah, he lives with us.
48
00:01:45,110 --> 00:01:47,309
In Russia, we respect
our old people, too.
49
00:01:47,377 --> 00:01:48,911
In this country,
they just dump
50
00:01:48,979 --> 00:01:51,312
in Dumpster
like trash.
51
00:01:51,380 --> 00:01:53,949
It's good to see you
people are different.
52
00:01:54,016 --> 00:01:56,650
Yeah, well,
what can you do?
53
00:01:56,718 --> 00:01:59,586
We just love him.
54
00:01:59,654 --> 00:02:02,188
We do. We, uh...
55
00:02:02,256 --> 00:02:06,158
we cherish him.
He's my Yoda.
56
00:02:06,226 --> 00:02:08,860
You know what? Let me see if I
can move some things around,
57
00:02:08,927 --> 00:02:10,128
but I'm not sure.
58
00:02:10,195 --> 00:02:11,729
Oh, my God, anything
you can do would be great!
59
00:02:11,797 --> 00:02:12,796
Yeah.
60
00:02:12,864 --> 00:02:14,765
So, Father, eh,
61
00:02:14,832 --> 00:02:16,466
do they take
good care of you?
62
00:02:16,533 --> 00:02:18,868
Why, yes.
In fact, uh,
63
00:02:18,935 --> 00:02:23,805
they give me a very generous
allowance of $20 a week.
64
00:02:23,873 --> 00:02:25,973
By the way, Douglas,
65
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,775
it's Friday.
Yeah.
66
00:02:27,842 --> 00:02:29,076
All right.
67
00:02:31,145 --> 00:02:34,179
And I believe
you forgot last week.
68
00:02:34,247 --> 00:02:35,814
[Chuckles]
Oh, I did? OK.
69
00:02:37,116 --> 00:02:38,482
Tell you what I can do.
70
00:02:38,550 --> 00:02:40,151
How does Monday sound?
71
00:02:40,218 --> 00:02:41,451
You put key under mat,
72
00:02:41,519 --> 00:02:42,551
we come first thing
in morning.
73
00:02:42,619 --> 00:02:44,587
Oh, my God, that's great!
Thank you!
74
00:02:44,655 --> 00:02:45,655
So be it.
75
00:02:45,722 --> 00:02:48,190
Let me grab paperwork. OK.
76
00:02:48,258 --> 00:02:49,724
Feelin' pretty good,
aren't you?
77
00:02:49,793 --> 00:02:51,425
Oh, yeah. Now take me
to the boat show,
78
00:02:51,493 --> 00:02:53,727
or I blow this thing
wide open.
79
00:03:06,071 --> 00:03:10,006
[Both Speaking Russian]
80
00:03:13,177 --> 00:03:15,845
[Speaking In Russian]
81
00:03:20,516 --> 00:03:21,949
[Sniffs] Mmm.
82
00:03:25,419 --> 00:03:26,919
Uh...
83
00:03:26,987 --> 00:03:28,220
hi?
84
00:03:29,422 --> 00:03:30,555
[Russian Accent]
Don't worry.
85
00:03:30,623 --> 00:03:32,724
We are
with mold company.
86
00:03:34,159 --> 00:03:38,261
Um, I'm not wearing
underpants.
87
00:03:38,329 --> 00:03:39,796
No.
88
00:03:39,863 --> 00:03:43,065
No, we look
for 3-prong outlet,
89
00:03:43,133 --> 00:03:45,234
then we go.
90
00:03:45,302 --> 00:03:47,335
I think there's one
over there, but, shh!
91
00:03:47,402 --> 00:03:48,669
[Whispers] Oh.
92
00:03:48,737 --> 00:03:49,804
Shh!
93
00:03:57,410 --> 00:03:58,911
Oh, boy!
It's all right.
94
00:03:58,979 --> 00:04:00,712
Don't worry.
95
00:04:00,779 --> 00:04:03,248
We are
with mold company.
96
00:04:03,282 --> 00:04:04,281
Ahem.
97
00:04:04,349 --> 00:04:06,050
Doug...
98
00:04:06,118 --> 00:04:08,385
[Whispers]
Get them outta here!
99
00:04:08,452 --> 00:04:09,819
[Whispers]
OK, but...
100
00:04:09,887 --> 00:04:12,254
I'm not wearing
underpants.
101
00:04:37,540 --> 00:04:40,743
This feels
a little awkward.
102
00:04:40,811 --> 00:04:42,144
What do we do?
103
00:04:42,211 --> 00:04:45,414
Just ignore them?
Do we offer them cereal?
104
00:04:45,481 --> 00:04:47,014
No, you don't
offer them cereal,
105
00:04:47,082 --> 00:04:49,317
you just act
like a normal person.
106
00:04:49,384 --> 00:04:51,184
Hi, guys.
107
00:04:54,754 --> 00:04:55,921
What?
108
00:04:55,989 --> 00:04:58,623
Oh, nothing, I was
just saying hi.
109
00:05:00,059 --> 00:05:03,160
We are
with mold company.
110
00:05:03,227 --> 00:05:04,761
We have to be here.
111
00:05:04,828 --> 00:05:05,829
Yeah. No, no, no,
it's fine.
112
00:05:05,897 --> 00:05:07,496
Yeah.
113
00:05:09,933 --> 00:05:11,899
You want cereal?
114
00:05:12,868 --> 00:05:15,403
No, I had bagel.
115
00:05:15,471 --> 00:05:16,470
Arthur: Help!
116
00:05:16,537 --> 00:05:17,972
Dad?
117
00:05:18,039 --> 00:05:22,308
Arthur: I'm looking for
Douglas and Carrie Heffernan!
118
00:05:22,376 --> 00:05:23,909
Don't answer!
119
00:05:23,977 --> 00:05:26,144
This is our chance
for a fresh start.
120
00:05:26,212 --> 00:05:28,247
We're in here.
Just follow my voice!
121
00:05:28,314 --> 00:05:29,347
[Piano Notes Play]
122
00:05:29,414 --> 00:05:31,215
Keep comin',
you're gettin' warmer.
123
00:05:31,283 --> 00:05:32,516
Keep comin'.
124
00:05:32,584 --> 00:05:33,583
[Door Slams]
125
00:05:33,651 --> 00:05:35,552
And he's outside. OK.
126
00:05:37,053 --> 00:05:38,420
Doug, come here a sec.
127
00:05:38,488 --> 00:05:39,955
I got something
I need to show you.
128
00:05:41,256 --> 00:05:45,493
Steve: You see how the seams
in there are failing?
129
00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:47,627
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
130
00:05:47,694 --> 00:05:49,995
I think we need to use
the H.E.P.A. vacuum
131
00:05:50,063 --> 00:05:52,197
and then install sill
flashings and a kickout.
132
00:05:52,265 --> 00:05:54,799
Now, it's going to cost
you about $300 extra,
133
00:05:54,867 --> 00:05:55,900
but I think
in the long run
134
00:05:55,968 --> 00:05:56,968
it'll save you money.
135
00:05:57,036 --> 00:05:58,468
What do you think?
136
00:05:58,536 --> 00:06:00,370
I think
that sounds great.
137
00:06:00,437 --> 00:06:02,005
You, uh-- you got your own H.E.P.A.
vacuum,
138
00:06:02,073 --> 00:06:04,006
or you wanna use mine?
139
00:06:05,109 --> 00:06:07,609
I have one.
140
00:06:08,845 --> 00:06:11,178
Good. Uh, th-that's good
that you have one. OK.
141
00:06:13,381 --> 00:06:14,849
What was that about?
142
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:17,050
Oh, Steve thinks we need to H.E.P.A.
the whole thing out in there,
143
00:06:17,117 --> 00:06:19,718
and install some sill
flashings and a kickout.
144
00:06:19,785 --> 00:06:21,486
I agree.
145
00:06:21,554 --> 00:06:24,722
And do you know
what any of that means?
146
00:06:24,789 --> 00:06:27,558
Why do you always need to
know what things mean?
147
00:06:27,625 --> 00:06:29,159
It's not
an attractive quality.
148
00:06:29,227 --> 00:06:30,693
Well, is it gonna
cost any more?
149
00:06:30,761 --> 00:06:32,627
300, but it's gonna save
us money in the long run.
150
00:06:32,695 --> 00:06:34,997
Doug, the guy
gave us an estimate.
151
00:06:35,065 --> 00:06:37,899
Why didn't he see it the first
time when he came here?
152
00:06:37,966 --> 00:06:38,933
I don't know!
153
00:06:39,001 --> 00:06:40,368
Well, don't you think
you should ask him?
154
00:06:40,435 --> 00:06:41,634
[Sighs]
155
00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:43,270
Fine.
156
00:06:43,338 --> 00:06:44,571
It never ends.
157
00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:47,039
What? I sa--I said
you're beautiful.
158
00:06:48,775 --> 00:06:50,308
Hey, Steve.
159
00:06:50,376 --> 00:06:52,510
What's up?
Uh, question for ya.
160
00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:54,711
Uh, how come the stuff you
were just telling me about
161
00:06:54,779 --> 00:06:58,081
wasn't included
in the original estimate?
162
00:06:59,850 --> 00:07:01,350
I'm just curious.
163
00:07:01,418 --> 00:07:02,751
You are curious?
164
00:07:02,819 --> 00:07:05,553
Like the Monkey George?
165
00:07:05,621 --> 00:07:07,888
Yeah, I--I guess.
166
00:07:07,956 --> 00:07:09,256
Well, I didn't
put in estimate,
167
00:07:09,325 --> 00:07:10,491
'cause I didn't see it.
168
00:07:10,559 --> 00:07:12,492
I didn't see it because
it was behind the wall,
169
00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:14,227
and I cannot see
through the wall.
170
00:07:14,295 --> 00:07:15,795
You want somebody who can
see through the wall,
171
00:07:15,862 --> 00:07:18,831
maybe you should call Captain
Superman to help you out!
172
00:07:18,898 --> 00:07:21,299
No, no, no, you don't need
to call Captain Superman.
173
00:07:21,367 --> 00:07:22,933
I was just wonderin',
you know.
174
00:07:23,001 --> 00:07:24,535
Tryin' to learn
about mold.
175
00:07:24,602 --> 00:07:26,069
[Chuckling]
You know?
176
00:07:26,137 --> 00:07:28,404
Uh, and you guys are doin'
a great job, by the way.
177
00:07:28,472 --> 00:07:29,505
Really,
and you know what,
178
00:07:29,573 --> 00:07:31,274
you guys make
the coveralls work, too.
179
00:07:31,341 --> 00:07:32,374
You really do.
180
00:07:32,441 --> 00:07:33,441
You stick me in them,
181
00:07:33,509 --> 00:07:35,477
and I'd look
like a Peanut M & M.
182
00:07:38,513 --> 00:07:40,181
I'll see ya tomorrow.
183
00:07:45,385 --> 00:07:47,486
Hello?
184
00:07:47,553 --> 00:07:49,153
Anybody here?
185
00:07:49,221 --> 00:07:50,921
Their tools are gone.
186
00:07:50,989 --> 00:07:53,389
Where are they?
187
00:07:53,457 --> 00:07:55,758
I don't know. Maybe
they're late. Maybe--
188
00:07:55,826 --> 00:07:58,026
Maybe today they didn't
feel like "rushin'."
189
00:07:58,094 --> 00:07:59,595
[Laughing]
190
00:08:03,465 --> 00:08:06,600
Am I gonna hear a Russian
joke every morning?
191
00:08:06,668 --> 00:08:08,735
Not with
that attitude.
192
00:08:18,544 --> 00:08:19,576
Doug,
193
00:08:19,644 --> 00:08:22,312
it's been 4 days
since they've been here.
194
00:08:22,380 --> 00:08:23,780
I can't live like this.
195
00:08:23,881 --> 00:08:25,148
Did you call them again?
196
00:08:25,215 --> 00:08:28,817
Yes. I left message 17
an hour ago.
197
00:08:28,885 --> 00:08:30,652
Did you leave him
our number?
198
00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:33,454
[Sarcastically] Oh, gee,
no, I forgot to do that.
199
00:08:33,522 --> 00:08:34,922
Actually, you know what,
I may have forgot.
200
00:08:36,791 --> 00:08:38,424
Arthur: Hello?
201
00:08:38,492 --> 00:08:39,959
Dad, we're in here.
202
00:08:40,027 --> 00:08:41,894
Just follow the tape
we put down.
203
00:08:41,961 --> 00:08:43,728
Arthur: It's taking
me in circles!
204
00:08:43,764 --> 00:08:46,030
It's not taking
you in circles.
205
00:08:46,098 --> 00:08:47,064
Actually, it is.
206
00:08:47,133 --> 00:08:48,932
Uh, payback
for the allowance thing.
207
00:08:51,869 --> 00:08:53,569
Carrie: Come on.
208
00:08:53,637 --> 00:08:54,737
Thank you, darling.
209
00:08:54,804 --> 00:08:57,039
I was spinning like
a dreidel out there.
210
00:08:57,107 --> 00:08:59,907
Shh. It's ringing.
It's ringing.
211
00:08:59,975 --> 00:09:01,309
Uh, hey, Steve, uh--
212
00:09:01,377 --> 00:09:02,809
Uh, Doug Heffernan here.
213
00:09:02,877 --> 00:09:05,012
Oh, hello, Doug,
how are you doing?
214
00:09:05,079 --> 00:09:06,979
Oh, I'm doin' good.
How 'bout you?
215
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,814
Uh-huh.
216
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,415
Yeah, yeah,
it is cold, isn't it?
217
00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:12,116
Ooh, it's very cold, I--
218
00:09:12,184 --> 00:09:13,485
All right!
219
00:09:13,552 --> 00:09:15,652
Uh, question for ya.
220
00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:17,254
Uh, we've kind
of been wondering
221
00:09:17,322 --> 00:09:19,155
where you guys have been?
222
00:09:19,223 --> 00:09:22,124
Steve: Like I told you, we
have many big projects going.
223
00:09:22,192 --> 00:09:23,926
Yeah, but you said
you'd squeeze us in,
224
00:09:23,993 --> 00:09:25,394
and now our house is--
it's kind of--
225
00:09:25,462 --> 00:09:26,629
it's kind of
ripped apart.
226
00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:29,531
OK, OK.
227
00:09:29,598 --> 00:09:31,931
How does a week
from Friday sound?
228
00:09:31,999 --> 00:09:34,167
That--That--That's
2 weeks from now.
229
00:09:34,235 --> 00:09:35,868
Well, if that doesn't
make you happy,
230
00:09:35,935 --> 00:09:38,671
maybe you wanna call
Captain Superman.
231
00:09:38,738 --> 00:09:40,772
No, no, no, no,
th-that'll be fine.
232
00:09:40,839 --> 00:09:42,174
What, what, what?
233
00:09:42,241 --> 00:09:43,608
He's gonna come
a week from Friday.
234
00:09:43,676 --> 00:09:45,809
No, that's
unacceptable!
235
00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:46,943
Look, is there any way,
uh, you could--
236
00:09:47,012 --> 00:09:48,611
Doug,
it's unacceptable.
237
00:09:48,678 --> 00:09:51,080
Use the word!
Uh...
238
00:09:51,148 --> 00:09:55,183
uh, Steve, what you're
doing is very un...
239
00:09:55,251 --> 00:09:57,118
nice of you. All right, all right!
Gimme this.
240
00:09:57,185 --> 00:10:00,021
Hello, this
is Carrie Heffernan--
241
00:10:00,088 --> 00:10:01,888
Yes--Mrs. Doug.
242
00:10:01,955 --> 00:10:04,624
Um, your behavior
is unacceptable.
243
00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:05,957
Now, there may be
other people
244
00:10:06,026 --> 00:10:07,459
who fall for
this kind of crap,
245
00:10:07,527 --> 00:10:08,793
but not us,
buddy boy, OK?
246
00:10:08,861 --> 00:10:10,628
I happen to work
for a law firm
247
00:10:10,695 --> 00:10:13,197
that specializes
in civil litigation.
248
00:10:13,265 --> 00:10:15,465
So if I don't see
you guys tomorrow,
249
00:10:15,533 --> 00:10:17,133
here, at 8:00 am,
250
00:10:17,201 --> 00:10:19,468
I will be introducing
my foot-ski
251
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:22,171
to your ass-ski!
252
00:10:23,772 --> 00:10:26,074
I think he got
the message.
253
00:10:28,609 --> 00:10:31,110
So they left our home
completely ripped apart,
254
00:10:31,178 --> 00:10:32,611
we haven't seen
them for 6 days.
255
00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:35,114
I mean, they think that they
can take advantage of us,
256
00:10:35,181 --> 00:10:37,115
but they don't know
that I work for the--
257
00:10:37,182 --> 00:10:38,316
Well, I'll just say it--
258
00:10:38,384 --> 00:10:40,250
the toughest litigator
in New York City.
259
00:10:40,318 --> 00:10:43,387
That's very kind
of you, Carrie.
260
00:10:43,455 --> 00:10:45,422
So what do we do? We just start
with a threatening letter,
261
00:10:45,489 --> 00:10:47,023
or we just go
right for the lawsuit?
262
00:10:47,091 --> 00:10:48,890
Well, here's the thing.
What?
263
00:10:48,958 --> 00:10:50,625
You're screwed.
264
00:10:50,693 --> 00:10:52,459
What do you mean
we're screwed?
265
00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:54,262
We--We--We have
a contract!
266
00:10:54,329 --> 00:10:57,197
Yes, a very nice one.
267
00:10:57,265 --> 00:10:58,631
Now, let me tell you
a little story
268
00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:01,066
about a brick pizza oven.
269
00:11:01,134 --> 00:11:03,703
My wife had to have one
installed in our house.
270
00:11:03,770 --> 00:11:08,072
Apparently, it was critical
to our social standing.
271
00:11:08,140 --> 00:11:09,840
So I hired a contractor.
272
00:11:09,907 --> 00:11:11,508
The guy ripped
a hole in our wall,
273
00:11:11,576 --> 00:11:13,276
then decided
he'd only show up
274
00:11:13,345 --> 00:11:14,544
when it was convenient.
275
00:11:14,611 --> 00:11:16,679
So I sued the bastard.
276
00:11:16,747 --> 00:11:21,549
2 years and $78,000 later,
277
00:11:21,617 --> 00:11:23,484
I got my pizza oven.
278
00:11:23,552 --> 00:11:27,820
By then Tiffany
was on a no-carb diet.
279
00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:31,590
We keep books
in there now.
280
00:11:31,658 --> 00:11:34,093
So, you're sayin'
281
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,928
I could have a pizza oven
in my house?
282
00:11:36,996 --> 00:11:39,463
Doug!
283
00:11:39,530 --> 00:11:40,931
Sorry.
284
00:11:40,999 --> 00:11:43,066
I'm just tryin'
to find the good here.
285
00:11:43,133 --> 00:11:44,266
All right,
so we can't sue them,
286
00:11:44,334 --> 00:11:45,534
but, I mean,
come on, please,
287
00:11:45,602 --> 00:11:47,602
there's gotta be
something we can do.
288
00:11:47,670 --> 00:11:49,036
My professional advice?
289
00:11:49,105 --> 00:11:52,306
Start kissing some keister.
290
00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:57,309
[Knock On Door]
291
00:11:59,012 --> 00:12:01,679
I've got vodka!
292
00:12:06,818 --> 00:12:09,819
[Power Drill Buzzing]
293
00:12:12,189 --> 00:12:13,555
Look at you.
294
00:12:13,623 --> 00:12:15,457
What happened
last night?
295
00:12:15,525 --> 00:12:16,992
I went to drop off
the vodka,
296
00:12:17,059 --> 00:12:19,093
and he made me stay
and drink with him.
297
00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:21,161
I don't remember
much after that...
298
00:12:21,229 --> 00:12:26,231
except at some point
I was dancing with men.
299
00:12:26,299 --> 00:12:28,600
Oh, and I may have
played Russian roulette.
300
00:12:28,668 --> 00:12:30,801
You know you can't
drink hard liquor.
301
00:12:30,869 --> 00:12:32,437
Yeah, I know. I did
what I had to do.
302
00:12:32,504 --> 00:12:34,339
Look, they're back here.
You should be happy.
303
00:12:34,406 --> 00:12:35,805
Oh, yeah, they
showed up for work.
304
00:12:35,873 --> 00:12:37,240
Let's throw them
a parade.
305
00:12:37,308 --> 00:12:38,509
Shh! You keep up
that attitude,
306
00:12:38,576 --> 00:12:39,842
they're gonna walk
outta here again!
307
00:12:39,910 --> 00:12:41,978
What do you want me to do,
smile all day like an idiot?
308
00:12:42,045 --> 00:12:43,278
You know what, if you
really want to help,
309
00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:44,479
you should throw
on a pair of Daisy Dukes,
310
00:12:44,546 --> 00:12:47,681
go out, and wash the car
during their lunch break.
311
00:12:47,748 --> 00:12:50,518
Hey, Doug, my friend!
Hey, bud!
312
00:12:50,585 --> 00:12:52,718
How's it goin'?
Ohh!
313
00:12:52,786 --> 00:12:55,155
This guy
likes his vodka!
314
00:12:55,222 --> 00:12:57,523
He also does
a great robot dance.
315
00:12:58,691 --> 00:13:01,192
OK, so here's
where we're at.
316
00:13:01,260 --> 00:13:03,827
Basement is finished,
no mold.
317
00:13:03,895 --> 00:13:04,894
And the living room,
318
00:13:04,962 --> 00:13:06,896
2 walls finished,
2 to go.
319
00:13:06,964 --> 00:13:08,697
That's great,
that sounds great!
320
00:13:08,765 --> 00:13:09,898
Do you mind?
321
00:13:09,966 --> 00:13:12,168
Uh, no, no, no.
Go ahead, go ahead.
322
00:13:12,235 --> 00:13:13,401
Please.
323
00:13:13,469 --> 00:13:14,502
[Speaks Russian]
324
00:13:14,570 --> 00:13:16,871
[Both Speak Russian]
325
00:13:20,542 --> 00:13:21,907
[Gags]
326
00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:23,676
Uh, you know, we're gonna take
our coffee in the other room.
327
00:13:23,744 --> 00:13:25,177
OK, Doug.
All right.
328
00:13:27,079 --> 00:13:28,413
Oh, hello.
329
00:13:28,481 --> 00:13:30,348
Hey, Father,
how are you?
330
00:13:30,415 --> 00:13:33,050
Or, as we say in Russia--
[Speaks Russian]
331
00:13:33,117 --> 00:13:35,318
Hey, yeah!
Marvelous, yeah!
332
00:13:38,621 --> 00:13:39,921
So, uh,
333
00:13:39,989 --> 00:13:41,657
what part
of the U.S.S.R.
334
00:13:41,724 --> 00:13:43,691
Do you hail from,
son?
335
00:13:43,758 --> 00:13:45,159
I am from Kiev,
336
00:13:45,227 --> 00:13:47,661
but it's no longer called
U.S.S.R., thank God.
337
00:13:47,728 --> 00:13:49,128
"Thank God"? What are
you talkin' about?
338
00:13:49,197 --> 00:13:50,564
It's a mess there now!
339
00:13:50,631 --> 00:13:51,763
Oh, it's much better now
340
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:54,233
without the stinking
Communists running things.
341
00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:57,669
Oh, please! You people had a
workers' paradise and you blew it!
342
00:13:57,736 --> 00:13:59,337
A paradise?!
343
00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:01,905
The K.G.B., they throw
my mother in the Gulag!
344
00:14:01,972 --> 00:14:05,241
Well, I'm sure they had
a very good reason.
345
00:14:05,308 --> 00:14:07,844
Just imagine,
2 weeks from now,
346
00:14:07,911 --> 00:14:09,678
all this is
gonna be done,
347
00:14:09,746 --> 00:14:12,046
and the only mold
in this house will...
348
00:14:12,114 --> 00:14:13,747
be on the whole wheat
bread you keep buying
349
00:14:13,815 --> 00:14:15,282
and that I never eat.
350
00:14:16,517 --> 00:14:17,417
Steve: You don't
know anything
351
00:14:17,485 --> 00:14:19,386
about what you're
talking about!
352
00:14:19,453 --> 00:14:20,754
The collectivization
of the farms
353
00:14:20,821 --> 00:14:21,920
was a stroke of genius!
354
00:14:21,988 --> 00:14:24,056
We lost our home!
355
00:14:24,123 --> 00:14:26,723
It's all about you,
isn't it?
356
00:14:26,791 --> 00:14:28,259
Dad, what's going on?
357
00:14:28,326 --> 00:14:29,160
We can't stay
here anymore.
358
00:14:29,261 --> 00:14:30,694
[Speaks Russian]
359
00:14:30,761 --> 00:14:32,195
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
360
00:14:32,263 --> 00:14:33,463
What happened here?
361
00:14:33,531 --> 00:14:34,864
This man knows nothing
about Communism!
362
00:14:34,931 --> 00:14:37,032
What did he say?
Hey, we love Communism!
363
00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:39,100
You love Communism?!
364
00:14:39,167 --> 00:14:41,068
Let me finish!
365
00:14:41,136 --> 00:14:43,103
We love that you
got rid of it!
366
00:14:43,170 --> 00:14:45,038
Ohh, this man
is an old fool!
367
00:14:45,106 --> 00:14:47,973
Well, look, you don't
like him, he's gone!
368
00:14:48,041 --> 00:14:51,042
You'll never
see him again!
369
00:14:51,110 --> 00:14:53,778
[Music And Laughter]
370
00:14:53,813 --> 00:14:57,314
[Song Sung In Russian]
371
00:15:22,668 --> 00:15:25,969
[Song Continues]
372
00:15:31,708 --> 00:15:32,808
Man: Bashnicki!
373
00:15:32,875 --> 00:15:35,276
[Men Shouting In Russian]
374
00:15:36,645 --> 00:15:39,413
Arthur: All right.
All right, boys.
375
00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:41,615
Papa needs
a new fur hat!
376
00:15:41,682 --> 00:15:43,249
[Spits Twice]
377
00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:45,218
Hey!
378
00:15:45,285 --> 00:15:46,318
Whatcha doin'?
379
00:15:46,385 --> 00:15:47,920
Playing bashnicki.It's a Russian game
380
00:15:47,987 --> 00:15:49,922
involving cards,
dice, and dominoes,
381
00:15:49,989 --> 00:15:52,323
and it's positively
addicting!
382
00:15:52,390 --> 00:15:55,291
[Chuckles] Well, I'm glad
to see you guys made up,
383
00:15:55,359 --> 00:15:57,327
but I'm just, uh,
trying to work in there.
384
00:15:57,394 --> 00:15:59,662
So, if you guys
could just keep it down?
385
00:15:59,729 --> 00:16:02,631
Absolutely.
All: Sure, sure.
386
00:16:13,507 --> 00:16:16,107
Arthur: Bashnicki!
387
00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:20,410
Sorry, darling, but I just won
back the dining room table!
388
00:16:20,478 --> 00:16:22,279
[All Muttering]
389
00:16:22,346 --> 00:16:24,681
Arthur: Hey, come on,
one more game! Come on!
390
00:16:27,918 --> 00:16:29,017
Oh, Steve.
391
00:16:29,085 --> 00:16:31,119
Yes?
392
00:16:31,187 --> 00:16:33,220
Oh, um...
393
00:16:33,288 --> 00:16:34,789
everything looks
great downstairs.
394
00:16:34,857 --> 00:16:36,691
Yeah, it's just
that I--I--
395
00:16:36,758 --> 00:16:38,658
I thought you guys
were done up here.
396
00:16:38,726 --> 00:16:39,960
Yes, done
with fungicide,
397
00:16:40,027 --> 00:16:41,461
but now comes
the fun part.
398
00:16:41,528 --> 00:16:45,330
The ventilation of
microbial contaminants.
399
00:16:45,398 --> 00:16:48,165
OK, plug in yellow
extension cord!
400
00:16:48,233 --> 00:16:49,400
Man: OK!
401
00:16:49,468 --> 00:16:52,068
It--It's just that I have
this report due tomorrow,
402
00:16:52,136 --> 00:16:54,070
and it's kind of hard
to work downstairs
403
00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:56,539
with the screaming
and the gambling.
404
00:16:56,607 --> 00:16:59,407
And, oh, I think
they're roasting something.
405
00:16:59,475 --> 00:17:02,343
I bring you
your laptop.
406
00:17:02,411 --> 00:17:04,378
Did you unplug that?
407
00:17:04,445 --> 00:17:08,247
Yes, I needed the--
the 3-prong outlet.
408
00:17:09,383 --> 00:17:11,716
But I didn't save
my report yet!
409
00:17:11,784 --> 00:17:15,153
Ohh, you should always
back up your work.
410
00:17:16,721 --> 00:17:18,589
You're right.
411
00:17:18,657 --> 00:17:20,223
My bad.
412
00:17:25,528 --> 00:17:26,928
Hey, hon.
Hi.
413
00:17:26,996 --> 00:17:28,329
Oh, traffic
was killer today.
414
00:17:28,397 --> 00:17:30,598
They shut down 2 lanes
on the Grand Central.
415
00:17:30,666 --> 00:17:34,133
It was brutal.
Ohh...
416
00:17:34,201 --> 00:17:35,202
What is that?
417
00:17:37,037 --> 00:17:38,770
My belt.
418
00:17:38,839 --> 00:17:39,806
What have I told you
419
00:17:39,873 --> 00:17:41,339
about throwing
your belt on the bed?
420
00:17:41,407 --> 00:17:42,774
When you take
your belt off,
421
00:17:42,842 --> 00:17:45,210
hang it up, you animal!
422
00:17:50,447 --> 00:17:52,915
Wow.
423
00:17:52,982 --> 00:17:54,449
Either you're mad
at something else,
424
00:17:54,517 --> 00:17:58,185
or I think
I want a divorce.
425
00:17:58,253 --> 00:17:59,419
It's these mold guys.
426
00:17:59,487 --> 00:18:01,121
They're driving me crazy
427
00:18:01,189 --> 00:18:03,756
with the bashnicki and the
smoking and my computer.
428
00:18:03,824 --> 00:18:05,859
Doug, let me kill them.
Please let me kill 'em?
429
00:18:05,926 --> 00:18:07,025
Look, you're not
killing anyone.
430
00:18:07,093 --> 00:18:08,927
Just one--
you can pick 'im!
431
00:18:08,995 --> 00:18:10,596
Calm down.
432
00:18:10,663 --> 00:18:12,162
No. You know what?
I'm gonna go downstairs
433
00:18:12,230 --> 00:18:14,866
and at least tell them that they
can't treat human beings like this.
434
00:18:14,933 --> 00:18:16,032
No! No, Carrie,
you can't!
435
00:18:16,100 --> 00:18:17,433
Doug, get out
of my way!
436
00:18:17,502 --> 00:18:18,502
Listen to me!
437
00:18:18,569 --> 00:18:20,936
I can't drink
any more vodka.
438
00:18:21,004 --> 00:18:22,838
Today, I delivered a package
to a nursery school,
439
00:18:22,906 --> 00:18:25,640
and I threw up in
a little water fountain.
440
00:18:25,707 --> 00:18:27,041
Come on, they have
one wall to go,
441
00:18:27,109 --> 00:18:28,609
and then
they're done. One wall!
442
00:18:28,676 --> 00:18:30,744
I don't care! If I don't
unload on somebody,
443
00:18:30,812 --> 00:18:31,978
I'm gonna explode!
444
00:18:32,046 --> 00:18:33,045
So?
445
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:34,714
Take it out on me.
446
00:18:34,782 --> 00:18:36,382
Twist my nipples.
447
00:18:38,985 --> 00:18:40,852
What?
Twist 'em.
448
00:18:40,919 --> 00:18:43,320
You always wanna twist them when
you're angry with me, right?
449
00:18:43,388 --> 00:18:44,688
Yeah.
450
00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:46,289
And don't you always
feel happy after?
451
00:18:46,356 --> 00:18:48,058
Sure.
So...
452
00:18:48,125 --> 00:18:50,959
twist the dials!
Come in, Tokyo!
453
00:18:54,863 --> 00:18:56,864
Oh, for God sakes, if you're
gonna do it, do it now.
454
00:18:58,132 --> 00:19:00,500
Aah-aah-aah! Yaz-bah!
455
00:19:01,669 --> 00:19:02,735
Oh, God!
456
00:19:02,802 --> 00:19:04,470
You feel better
at least?
457
00:19:04,537 --> 00:19:06,571
Not really. My hand
slipped off the left one.
458
00:19:06,638 --> 00:19:07,739
Let me do it again.
No!
459
00:19:07,807 --> 00:19:08,807
Stop!
460
00:19:08,874 --> 00:19:10,941
Douglas,
is Steve in here?
461
00:19:11,009 --> 00:19:12,976
I got a bone to pick
with him about his men.
462
00:19:13,044 --> 00:19:14,144
What's the problem?
463
00:19:14,212 --> 00:19:15,745
They're cheats.
464
00:19:15,813 --> 00:19:17,379
I drew 2 jacks,
465
00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:18,614
I rolled snake eyes,
466
00:19:18,682 --> 00:19:19,981
and I matched 2 dominoes.
467
00:19:20,049 --> 00:19:22,650
That's a kalishnikovwhere I come from.
468
00:19:22,719 --> 00:19:25,119
Arthur,
you listen to me.
469
00:19:25,187 --> 00:19:26,854
You say one word
to Steve
470
00:19:26,922 --> 00:19:30,356
and your dream of owning
a hamster is dead.
471
00:19:30,424 --> 00:19:31,791
Checkmate.
472
00:19:31,858 --> 00:19:33,358
You'll get no more
trouble from me.
473
00:19:35,428 --> 00:19:36,493
You may want
to wear these
474
00:19:36,561 --> 00:19:39,597
so you don't inhale
the toxic fume.
475
00:19:41,165 --> 00:19:42,232
Do you mind?
476
00:19:51,406 --> 00:19:53,041
Carrie!
477
00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:54,374
Your time will come.
478
00:19:54,442 --> 00:19:57,476
Your time will come.
479
00:19:59,112 --> 00:20:01,680
Hey, Doug!
We are finished.
480
00:20:01,747 --> 00:20:03,481
Come, one last drink
together.
481
00:20:05,585 --> 00:20:06,817
Uh...
482
00:20:06,885 --> 00:20:08,752
I--I really shouldn't.
483
00:20:16,926 --> 00:20:18,393
Ahh.
484
00:20:18,461 --> 00:20:20,695
Perhaps now is
good time to tell you.
485
00:20:20,762 --> 00:20:22,697
Pavel broke your toilet.
486
00:20:26,833 --> 00:20:28,233
That's OK.
487
00:20:28,301 --> 00:20:31,003
Good. Then we go now.
488
00:20:31,071 --> 00:20:32,137
That's it?
You--You're sure?
489
00:20:32,204 --> 00:20:33,471
You're--
We're mold-free?
490
00:20:33,539 --> 00:20:36,140
100%. Our work
here is done.
491
00:20:36,207 --> 00:20:38,876
Hold on a second. I think Carrie
wanted to say good-bye to you.
492
00:20:38,943 --> 00:20:40,710
Honey?
493
00:20:40,777 --> 00:20:42,645
Go get 'em.
494
00:20:42,713 --> 00:20:44,379
Oh. Hey!
495
00:20:44,447 --> 00:20:46,013
Pavel broke
our toilet.
496
00:20:48,183 --> 00:20:52,252
Who the hell do you people
think you are?
497
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:53,953
I want you all to know
498
00:20:54,021 --> 00:20:56,656
that if I see any of you
walking down the street
499
00:20:56,724 --> 00:20:58,157
and I am in my car,
500
00:20:58,224 --> 00:20:59,725
I will run you down!
501
00:20:59,793 --> 00:21:01,625
OK? And just when
you think it's over,
502
00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:04,762
I'm gonna put it in reverse,
I'm gonna back over you!
503
00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:07,497
OK? Then I'm gonna
get out of the car,
504
00:21:07,565 --> 00:21:11,500
and that's where
the real whup-ass begins.
505
00:21:14,036 --> 00:21:17,338
And the moldy goes to...
506
00:21:17,405 --> 00:21:19,840
Aah! [Laughs]
I love my life!
507
00:21:19,907 --> 00:21:21,341
Steve Basaravich!
[Laughing]
508
00:21:22,876 --> 00:21:25,845
Announcer: This is Steve
Basaravich's second Moldy.
509
00:21:25,912 --> 00:21:28,747
[Applause]
Thank you!
510
00:21:28,814 --> 00:21:32,950
Oh! This is what
it's all about!
511
00:21:33,018 --> 00:21:34,785
Whoo!35100
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