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1
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:05,203
♪ My eyes are gettin' weary ♪
2
00:00:05,272 --> 00:00:07,906
♪ My back is gettin' tight ♪
3
00:00:07,975 --> 00:00:09,819
♪ I'm sittin' here in traffic ♪
4
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:12,610
♪ On the Queensboro
Bridge tonight ♪
5
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:17,949
♪ But I don't care,
'cause all I want to do ♪
6
00:00:18,019 --> 00:00:21,886
♪ Is cash my check and
drive right home to you ♪
7
00:00:23,990 --> 00:00:26,224
♪ 'Cause, baby, all my life ♪
8
00:00:26,293 --> 00:00:28,927
♪ I will be drivin'
home to you ♪
9
00:00:36,103 --> 00:00:40,172
Doug: Follow the
break. Follow the break.
10
00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:43,876
Oh, good Lord, I am gifted.
11
00:00:45,345 --> 00:00:46,278
Hey, hey, hey, come
here. Come here.
12
00:00:46,346 --> 00:00:47,279
What? Come here, quick.
13
00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:48,280
Come here. Come over here. What?
14
00:00:48,348 --> 00:00:49,714
Look.
15
00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:52,984
It's me bowling.
16
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:57,355
OK. Glad I swallowed
my gum for that.
17
00:00:57,424 --> 00:01:00,025
I had Deke videotape
my stroke, you know,
18
00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:02,493
to help me get ready for
the tournament this weekend.
19
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:04,073
You want to watch it
with frame advance?
20
00:01:04,097 --> 00:01:06,497
Do I!
21
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:08,133
OK, ball back...
22
00:01:08,202 --> 00:01:09,567
plant...
23
00:01:09,636 --> 00:01:10,869
release...
24
00:01:10,938 --> 00:01:11,938
follow through.
25
00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:13,005
Whoa!
26
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:14,339
What? What?
27
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:17,575
Looks like somebody needs
to wear a belt when they bowl.
28
00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:20,411
Oh, you're right.
29
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:23,014
Little too much alley
on display right there.
30
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,351
It's weird. I've never really...
31
00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:29,054
seen myself from
that angle before.
32
00:01:29,122 --> 00:01:32,390
Well, I have had
the pleasure, so offy.
33
00:01:33,961 --> 00:01:35,460
So what's in the bag?
34
00:01:35,528 --> 00:01:38,196
What's in the bag?
Oh, just our future.
35
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:40,398
Does our future include
any sort of chicken?
36
00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:42,533
'Cause I'm very, very hungry.
37
00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:45,437
Sorry. But get this.
Mr. Kaplan, as in,
38
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:48,185
king of the whole friggin'
law firm Mr. Kaplan,
39
00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:51,543
is getting ready to make
me his new secretary.
40
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,812
Oh, come on. That guy's
been dangling that job
41
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:55,547
in front of you for 2 years.
42
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,617
But he hasn't seen these.
43
00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:04,556
Toy Dog: Please rub my tummy!
44
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:09,260
I think you would have had
a better shot with a hooker.
45
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:14,710
These are for his son.
46
00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:16,546
He has a 4-year-old
from his second marriage.
47
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:17,580
His wife is out of town,
48
00:02:17,604 --> 00:02:19,015
so he asked me if I
would watch his son
49
00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:20,150
in the office for a couple days,
50
00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:22,307
and I said I would be delighted.
51
00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:23,942
But you hate kids.
52
00:02:24,011 --> 00:02:24,942
Not this one.
53
00:02:25,011 --> 00:02:26,222
I'm going to ride
this little putz
54
00:02:26,246 --> 00:02:27,946
all the way to the top.
55
00:02:28,014 --> 00:02:30,382
All right, well, have fun.
I'm going to meet the guys
56
00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:31,928
down at the bowling
alley to practice.
57
00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:32,884
Bup, bup, bup, bup. What?
58
00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:34,886
Belt. Right-o.
59
00:02:42,229 --> 00:02:44,040
Hey, you guys catch the
Knick game last night?
60
00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:45,430
No. Who won?
61
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:47,177
Jeez, you believe they
let the freakin' Grizzlies
62
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:48,133
take them to overtime?
63
00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:50,001
Danny: Hello? Who won?
64
00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:52,048
The Knicks. Why
didn't you watch?
65
00:02:52,072 --> 00:02:53,872
Ah, I couldn't watch
anything last night.
66
00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:56,141
Spence was hooking
up his new TiVo.
67
00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:57,476
What's that?
68
00:02:57,545 --> 00:02:59,844
Ah, it's some new
fancy digital thing
69
00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:01,846
that records television
shows for you.
70
00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:03,715
Except I'm not
allowed to touch it.
71
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:05,016
But I'll tell you something.
72
00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:08,253
If he thinks he's getting near
my rice maker ever again,
73
00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:10,589
he's in for a rude surprise.
74
00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:13,024
Mark my words!
75
00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:15,293
All right.
76
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,862
Hey, guys.
77
00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:19,275
All: Hey! Hey, Tanya!
What's going on?
78
00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:21,144
Listen, I just wanted to
come over to say good-bye.
79
00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:23,601
Today was my last day
at the shoe rental counter.
80
00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:24,703
[All Groan]
81
00:03:24,772 --> 00:03:25,849
Where you off to from here?
82
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:27,939
Well, I got a job at
Payless in Elmhurst.
83
00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:29,248
It's going to be so nice
84
00:03:29,309 --> 00:03:31,020
to work with new
shoes for a change.
85
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,311
I hear that.
86
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:33,311
But don't worry,
87
00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:34,424
you're going to
love the new girl.
88
00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:36,181
Her name's Denise.
She's very sweet.
89
00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:43,322
All: Yeah. All right. Great.
90
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:44,700
Well, good luck
in the tournament.
91
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:45,657
I'll see you guys.
92
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,766
All: Take care. See
you. Bye-bye, T.
93
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:50,995
Wow.
94
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,308
It's like we just went
from a Rolls-Royce
95
00:03:52,332 --> 00:03:54,499
to a Ford Fiesta.
96
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:55,568
From now on,
97
00:03:55,602 --> 00:03:57,480
I'll be renting my
shoes over the phone.
98
00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:59,004
[All Laugh]
99
00:03:59,073 --> 00:04:00,973
That snack-bar waitress
with the glass eye
100
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,440
just moved up the charts.
101
00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:03,842
Yeah,
102
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:04,842
so did the alley boy.
103
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:05,843
[Laughs] [Laughs]
104
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,523
You guys are being idiots, man.
105
00:04:07,547 --> 00:04:09,347
Just give her a break.
106
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:10,460
Not until she gives me a break
107
00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:12,595
and starts wearing a paper bag.
108
00:04:12,619 --> 00:04:14,864
[Laughs] [Laughs] [Laughs]
109
00:04:14,888 --> 00:04:16,866
Hey, where are you going?
110
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:18,101
I'm going over there
to talk to her, man.
111
00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:19,490
Think how she feels.
112
00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:22,193
Usually there are guys lined
up like 3 deep to hit on Tanya.
113
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,763
But now look... nothing, right?
114
00:04:24,832 --> 00:04:25,909
You know what I'm going to do?
115
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,653
I'm going to go over
there and make her day.
116
00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:32,771
Oh, hi. Can I help you?
117
00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:38,142
So you must be this
Denise I keep hearing about.
118
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:40,745
Yeah.
119
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:42,792
Well, Denise, I'm
Doug, and on behalf
120
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:47,419
of the entire Bowl-a-Rama
family of bowlers... welcome.
121
00:04:47,488 --> 00:04:48,420
Um...
122
00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:49,888
[Laughs] Thanks.
123
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,856
Wow. Your eyes are killer.
124
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:54,325
They're like the exact
same color as my ball.
125
00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:07,638
Hey, shoe question for you.
126
00:05:08,908 --> 00:05:10,586
Why do they make the half sizes
127
00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:12,555
with the line under
the number, you know?
128
00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:15,124
Why not use just the old,
like, half symbol, you know?
129
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,326
What's the deal with that?
130
00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:18,850
Um, I... I really don't know.
131
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:20,062
It's crazy though, isn't it?
132
00:05:20,086 --> 00:05:23,855
Do you want to
rent shoes or not?
133
00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:26,624
No, I, uh, I have my own.
134
00:05:26,693 --> 00:05:29,694
Um, OK, well, I'll see you.
135
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:33,064
Wow. She lit up
like a Christmas tree.
136
00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:35,066
Shutty.
137
00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:44,843
Hello, Carrie.
138
00:05:44,912 --> 00:05:48,179
Oh, hi, Mr. Kaplan.
And who is this?
139
00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:50,682
Is this the new lawyer
I've been hearing about?
140
00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:54,152
[Laughs] No, no, he's a
few years away from that.
141
00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:55,740
Jordan, this is Carrie.
142
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:57,567
She's going to be your
friend for the next few days.
143
00:05:57,591 --> 00:05:59,724
Hi. Hi, Jordan.
144
00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:01,426
We're going to
have a lot of fun.
145
00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:02,505
Oh, if we only had some toys.
146
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:05,263
Uh-oh, you found
them. Good work, buddy.
147
00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:07,610
All these toys you
bought. My goodness.
148
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:09,134
Oh, I'm happy to do it.
149
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:10,813
Is this the kind of
stuff he usually likes?
150
00:06:10,837 --> 00:06:12,515
To tell you the
truth, I have no idea.
151
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:15,473
His mother handles
the day-to-day stuff.
152
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:17,509
Anyway, Carrie, thanks a lot.
153
00:06:17,577 --> 00:06:18,976
You're a lifesaver.
154
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:21,646
My own secretary
wanted no part of this.
155
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:25,249
Just one more reason for me
to give old Marge the heave-ho.
156
00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:27,051
Well, that's none of my affair.
157
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,820
All I know is I love kids,
158
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:31,255
and I could have that desk
packed up in 5 minutes.
159
00:06:31,324 --> 00:06:32,357
[Laughs]
160
00:06:32,426 --> 00:06:33,836
Well, Jordan, just have fun.
161
00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:36,161
Daddy will come
get you at lunchtime.
162
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:38,963
Do you like Indian food?
163
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:40,532
We'll figure it out.
164
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:41,533
See ya.
165
00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:44,035
OK. Bye-bye.
166
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:48,773
Hey, what you got there?
167
00:06:48,841 --> 00:06:52,510
A train? Choo choo!
168
00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:53,611
Choo...
169
00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:56,881
Oh, I...
170
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:59,451
I didn't mean for
you to stop, I...
171
00:06:59,519 --> 00:07:00,651
No, come on,
172
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,331
you got to get the train
going to the next station,
173
00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:04,322
or it's going to... whoa. OK.
174
00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:06,924
[Laughs] I don't think that's
the next station, buddy.
175
00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:09,961
Ha ha. No, it's right
here by Mr. Teddy Bear.
176
00:07:10,029 --> 00:07:11,963
Choo... whoa. All right.
177
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:13,931
Um...
178
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,000
Jordan, honey,
179
00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:16,968
you see all these
things on the floor here?
180
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:19,003
Those are your toys. Yeah.
181
00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:20,838
And these 2 things on my body?
182
00:07:20,907 --> 00:07:22,507
Those are not your toys.
183
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:24,809
No, no, no, no. Ha ha.
184
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:27,278
Hey, since you like
squeezing things,
185
00:07:27,347 --> 00:07:29,080
why don't we play
with this stuff, huh?
186
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:30,381
This is good.
187
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:33,084
It's fun. You can
make it into a ball,
188
00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:34,552
or a snake...
189
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:35,987
OK.
190
00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:41,893
[Knock On Door]
191
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:43,260
Coming.
192
00:07:46,165 --> 00:07:47,532
Oh, hey, Holly.
193
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:48,601
Hey, Spence.
194
00:07:48,668 --> 00:07:50,112
Is my little guy
ready for his walk?
195
00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:51,369
Oh, more than ready.
196
00:07:51,437 --> 00:07:53,038
He had some Snausages last night
197
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:54,739
that did not agree with him.
198
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:58,309
Been there, done that.
199
00:07:58,378 --> 00:08:00,978
Hey, um, do you want
to see my new purchase?
200
00:08:01,047 --> 00:08:02,525
Oh, your Spider-Man suit?
201
00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:03,793
You modeled it for me last week.
202
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,216
No, no, no, no, no.
203
00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:06,285
It's... it's my TiVo.
204
00:08:06,353 --> 00:08:09,287
See, it's this thing
that records TV shows,
205
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:10,888
but the cool part is,
206
00:08:10,957 --> 00:08:12,390
it's intuitive.
207
00:08:12,459 --> 00:08:14,592
See, once you program
in some shows you like,
208
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,894
it gets to know your taste,
and then automatically
209
00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:18,829
picks out and
records shows for you.
210
00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:21,165
Wow. See ya.
211
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:22,400
No, no, no, no. Come here.
212
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:24,469
Just come sit.
213
00:08:24,537 --> 00:08:26,437
Now, the other day,
214
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:30,575
I programmed in Sex in
the City, Six Feet Under,
215
00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:31,576
a few other favorites.
216
00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:34,145
And now... presto.
217
00:08:34,213 --> 00:08:37,081
A whole list of shows
TiVo recorded just for me.
218
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:39,027
Oh. Priscilla,
Queen of the Desert.
219
00:08:39,051 --> 00:08:42,887
Never heard of it,
but TiVo knows I like it.
220
00:08:42,955 --> 00:08:45,390
Judy Garland: Live
at Carnegie Hall.
221
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:47,024
Uh, OK, I...
222
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:48,993
Decorating with Style.
223
00:08:49,061 --> 00:08:50,361
I... I... don't know why...
224
00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:52,697
Queer as Folk.
225
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:57,202
Oh, my God! TiVo thinks I'm gay!
226
00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:05,955
All right, boys, it's
time to get serious here.
227
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:08,057
This is our last practice
before the big dance.
228
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:09,558
Tomorrow the world learns
229
00:09:09,582 --> 00:09:11,060
what the men of IPS are made of.
230
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:12,183
[Laughs] Yeah, let's do it!
231
00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:13,363
Hey, who's our
first match against?
232
00:09:13,387 --> 00:09:14,319
Uh...
233
00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:15,987
Mail Boxes Etc.
234
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,989
Damn post office wannabes!
235
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:20,759
Ah, crap.
236
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:22,171
Anybody got an extra lace?
237
00:09:22,195 --> 00:09:24,695
Uh, no, I don't
have one, but, um,
238
00:09:24,765 --> 00:09:27,205
why don't you go get
one from your girlfriend?
239
00:09:28,134 --> 00:09:30,234
Yeah, go ahead, make
her night. [Laughs]
240
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:31,636
"Make her night."
241
00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:34,739
That is so great! [Laughing]
242
00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:37,241
Oh, man, you're good! Oh!
243
00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:39,721
Come on, man, look, she
did dust you off pretty good.
244
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:41,690
All right, look, she's
new around here, OK?
245
00:09:41,714 --> 00:09:43,159
Maybe she's just nervous
in front of the customers.
246
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:44,915
Sure, that's it.
247
00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:46,250
[Laughs]
248
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:53,792
Hi.
249
00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:54,860
Can I help you?
250
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:57,595
Yeah, I need a pack
of laces. How much?
251
00:09:57,664 --> 00:09:59,164
Um, I'm not sure.
252
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:00,965
Let me ask my boyfriend.
253
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,168
Trevor!
254
00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:05,403
Yeah?
255
00:10:05,472 --> 00:10:07,171
Um, sorry to
bother you, sweetie,
256
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,808
but, um, this guy
says he broke a lace.
257
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,413
Broke a shoelace?
258
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:19,390
Yeah, they break.
They're not made of steel.
259
00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:22,486
That's a buck.
260
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:24,822
Thank you.
261
00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:28,137
Babe, you look hot tonight.
262
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:29,627
[Chuckles] Come on, stop.
263
00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:30,928
We're at work.
264
00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:37,501
Anything else?
265
00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,470
No, that's all. Thanks.
266
00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:49,147
Unbelievable.
267
00:10:49,215 --> 00:10:50,548
What happened?
268
00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:51,961
She must've thought I
was hittin' on her last night,
269
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,462
'cause she made a big show
of trotting out her boyfriend
270
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:56,087
in front of me. "Hey,
sweetie, I love you!
271
00:10:56,156 --> 00:11:00,324
Please help me sell this
sweaty, horrible man a shoelace."
272
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:01,826
Well, who's her boyfriend?
273
00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:03,039
That guy right there.
274
00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:04,662
That guy?
275
00:11:04,731 --> 00:11:07,165
That's her brother!
276
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:09,167
[All Laughing]
277
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:12,403
Her brother?
278
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:14,416
She had to get her brother
to pretend to be her boyfriend?
279
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:15,918
I'm that much of a sleazeball?
280
00:11:15,942 --> 00:11:17,775
[All Laughing]
281
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:19,055
I guess so!
282
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:20,622
Hey, I was doing her a favor!
283
00:11:20,646 --> 00:11:21,946
It was a mercy flirt!
284
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:23,982
[All Laughing]
285
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,566
Carrie: See, Jordan, those
are Chinese handcuffs.
286
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:33,191
Uh-oh! Now your hands are stuck.
287
00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:35,526
It's fun being stuck, isn't it?
288
00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:38,196
Let's be stuck all day.
289
00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:39,909
But I will read
you a little book,
290
00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:41,866
OK, while you are... ohh!
291
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:42,867
No! No!
292
00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:44,802
What a pair! What?!
293
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,704
The two of you. You
look great together.
294
00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:48,084
Oh! How's it going?
295
00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:51,176
Um, well, actually, uh...
296
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,057
It's going great. It really is.
297
00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:56,292
Fantastic. Yeah...
298
00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:58,283
You really are a lifesaver.
299
00:11:58,351 --> 00:11:59,417
You have fun, kiddo.
300
00:11:59,485 --> 00:12:00,651
[Chuckles]
301
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,504
Hey, sweetie, you
wanna grab some dinner?
302
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:21,717
Anything but Chinese, though,
303
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:24,008
'cause I had Chinese for lunch.
304
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:26,237
Unless you really want Chinese.
305
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:31,015
Let's get Chinese!
306
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,550
Anybody home?
307
00:12:32,618 --> 00:12:34,118
Uh, I'm not hungry.
308
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:36,988
What? What's wrong?
309
00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:39,457
Oh, it's this thing
with Kaplan's kid.
310
00:12:39,525 --> 00:12:40,791
What's the matter?
311
00:12:40,860 --> 00:12:42,871
You got a little Dennis the
Menace on your hands, huh?
312
00:12:42,895 --> 00:12:44,407
What, he put a
frog in your desk?
313
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:46,209
Give you a little hot foot?
314
00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:49,233
He feels me up constantly.
315
00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:51,936
Huh? Yeah.
316
00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:55,639
He grabs my breasts
every chance he gets.
317
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:57,976
Come on, he's a kid!
That's what kids do.
318
00:12:58,044 --> 00:13:00,022
And besides, I remember
you laughin' pretty hard
319
00:13:00,046 --> 00:13:03,225
when Deacon's baby used
my dealie as a speed bag.
320
00:13:03,249 --> 00:13:05,349
Doug, this is totally different!
321
00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:07,051
I mean, this kid...
He... he's old enough
322
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,253
to know exactly what he's doing!
323
00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:11,455
I'm being sexually harassed!
324
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:12,623
You are not.
325
00:13:12,692 --> 00:13:15,026
I am! Think about it. OK?
326
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:16,227
The kid gropes me,
327
00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:17,494
I can't complain about it,
328
00:13:17,563 --> 00:13:18,763
or I won't get my promotion.
329
00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:21,599
That's Sexual Harassment 101.
330
00:13:21,667 --> 00:13:23,601
He's no better than
any other sleazeball
331
00:13:23,669 --> 00:13:25,402
who thinks all
women are fair game.
332
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:31,075
Oh, so you just assume
he's a sleazeball.
333
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,376
Yeah, I do.
334
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:33,889
Really? Did you ever
stop to think that maybe
335
00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:35,958
he's just throwing
you a mercy flirt?
336
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:38,850
Huh? Yeah.
337
00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:42,231
Yeah, maybe that
he's just feeling you up
338
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:44,822
as a favor to you? Huh? Yeah.
339
00:13:44,891 --> 00:13:46,891
What?!
340
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,904
Yeah, you women
are all the same,
341
00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:49,938
you know that?
342
00:13:49,962 --> 00:13:51,207
You think that
every guy's after you
343
00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:54,532
'cause you're so irresistible!
344
00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:56,011
Hey, here's an idea... why
don't you get your brother
345
00:13:56,035 --> 00:13:57,046
to pretend to be your boyfriend?
346
00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:58,669
That'll show him!
347
00:13:58,738 --> 00:13:59,915
What are you
talking... I don't even...
348
00:13:59,939 --> 00:14:01,038
I don't have a brother!
349
00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:03,006
Oh, please!
350
00:14:03,075 --> 00:14:05,443
Doug, what are you
sticking up for him for?
351
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:06,889
I mean, you should be
going down to my office
352
00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:08,724
and beatin' the
crap out of him! OK...
353
00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:10,659
first of all, I haven't
beaten the crap
354
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:13,584
out of a 4-year-old
since I was 8.
355
00:14:15,087 --> 00:14:16,921
And second of all,
356
00:14:16,989 --> 00:14:18,434
I'm with the boy on this one.
357
00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:20,336
Sorry if that's a kick
in the cornflakes,
358
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,559
but that's the
way it is, sister!
359
00:14:22,628 --> 00:14:23,561
You're crazy!
360
00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:25,574
Oh, here we go,
all men are crazy!
361
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:27,464
No, not all men, just you.
362
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:28,678
Oh, really? I'm crazy?
Well, you know what?
363
00:14:28,702 --> 00:14:30,267
Crazy man go bye-bye.
364
00:14:30,336 --> 00:14:32,136
Bye-bye! Bye-bye! Yeah!
365
00:14:33,639 --> 00:14:35,759
What do you want from Chinese?
366
00:14:41,681 --> 00:14:43,648
[Imitating Rock Guitar]
367
00:14:43,717 --> 00:14:44,649
Mmm!
368
00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:45,718
Yeah!
369
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,220
Oh, hey, Spence, you're home.
370
00:14:50,289 --> 00:14:51,622
Just now. Um...
371
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:52,790
do you have a second?
372
00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:54,270
Oh, actually, one of my clients
373
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:56,105
is getting neutered,
and I should be there.
374
00:14:56,129 --> 00:14:57,539
Well, just... just for a second.
375
00:14:57,563 --> 00:14:58,829
Just sit. For a second.
376
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,831
OK... OK.
377
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:01,933
Um...
378
00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:03,968
remember, for some reason,
379
00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:05,381
TiVo thought I was gay?
380
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,250
I mean, how crazy was that?
381
00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:08,373
Phew...
382
00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:09,441
it was crazy.
383
00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:11,387
[Chuckles] Yeah, well...
384
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:12,610
I have a feeling
385
00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:15,112
TiVo won't be making
any more dumb mistakes.
386
00:15:15,181 --> 00:15:16,191
See, I let it know
387
00:15:16,215 --> 00:15:17,760
what a big sports fan I am.
388
00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:19,961
Oh... Yeah! Had it
record my football,
389
00:15:19,985 --> 00:15:21,051
my hoops,
390
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:22,764
that Nascar race I've
been wantin' to see.
391
00:15:22,788 --> 00:15:24,088
So...
392
00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:26,524
let's see what
shows TiVo recorded
393
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:29,227
now that it knows
I'm a sports junkie.
394
00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:33,531
Men's Ice Dancing.
395
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:35,666
OK... What... what the...
396
00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:38,202
Breaking the Surface:
The Greg Louganis Story.
397
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:39,481
Oh... This is wrong!
398
00:15:39,505 --> 00:15:41,172
No, you said TiVo
was intuitive...
399
00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:43,508
No, no! I... I...
I'm not gay, OK?
400
00:15:43,576 --> 00:15:45,488
I love women. I've stalked them!
401
00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:48,156
I'll... I'll have sex with
you right now if you want!
402
00:15:48,180 --> 00:15:49,880
Um...
403
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,382
I'm good. Listen...
404
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:52,995
uh, I should go. Hey, um,
405
00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:54,497
good luck with that whole...
406
00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:56,165
not gay thing.
I... I... [Stuttering]
407
00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:58,589
TiVo's wrong! This is wrong!
408
00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,624
Ohh, how dare you label me?!
409
00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:02,893
"Oh, I record shows digitally!"
410
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,862
You're gay!
411
00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:12,203
[Bowling Pins Clatter]
412
00:16:12,271 --> 00:16:13,705
Yes!
413
00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:15,172
Whoo!
414
00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:17,241
So, how's it goin'?
415
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:18,587
Not so good.
416
00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:20,077
What's the matter?
417
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,380
I'm being sexually harassed.
418
00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:23,381
Really?
419
00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:25,383
Me, too! Who's harassing you?
420
00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:27,618
A 4-year-old.
421
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:29,354
You?
422
00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:31,622
TiVo.
423
00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:32,968
P.A.: Attention,
tournament bowlers,
424
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,869
please make sure your
lineup cards are filled out.
425
00:16:34,893 --> 00:16:36,293
Denise will be coming around
426
00:16:36,362 --> 00:16:37,606
in a few minutes
to collect them.
427
00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:39,508
Will you forget about
that girl and focus here?
428
00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:40,532
Yeah, yeah.
429
00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:44,434
[Pins Clatter]
430
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:45,869
Yeah!
431
00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:05,701
Got your lineup card?
432
00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:06,969
Oh, yeah, right here.
433
00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:08,136
Mmm. Good luck!
434
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:09,160
Thanks.
435
00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:12,930
What the hell was that?
436
00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:15,177
Nothing. She was
getting our lineup card.
437
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,445
Did you see her
trying to avoid me?
438
00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:18,246
I'm surprised she didn't
burrow under the alley
439
00:17:18,270 --> 00:17:20,304
like a ferret.
440
00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:22,240
OK, listen to me.
441
00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:23,753
Last year in this tournament,
442
00:17:23,777 --> 00:17:25,657
we lost to Pottery Barn.
443
00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:26,756
We got our asses kicked
444
00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:29,413
by people who sell
decorative candles.
445
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:30,559
Now, I need you
to play your game
446
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,903
and stop worrying
about the damn shoe girl.
447
00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:35,453
You're right. She's
just a shoe girl.
448
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:36,732
I mean, who the hell
does she think she is,
449
00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:37,955
copping an attitude with me?!
450
00:17:38,024 --> 00:17:39,490
I mean, if I was
goin' after a girl,
451
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,036
I could get somebody
much better than her,
452
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,426
much better!
453
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:46,464
Wait a second, I did.
454
00:17:46,533 --> 00:17:48,366
And she's here right now.
455
00:17:48,434 --> 00:17:50,474
You know what, I'm gonna
go show Denise what's what.
456
00:17:52,438 --> 00:17:54,705
Hey! Hey.
457
00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:56,619
How about a kiss
from my lucky charm?
458
00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:57,575
Hmm? All right.
459
00:17:57,644 --> 00:17:59,644
There you go. Good luck.
460
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:01,712
Come on, now, you
can do better than that.
461
00:18:01,780 --> 00:18:02,713
Lay one on me. Just give me
462
00:18:02,781 --> 00:18:03,859
a nice little kiss here, huh?
463
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:05,182
I don't feel like it, OK?
464
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,084
I've been clawed
at by that kid all day.
465
00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:08,730
All right, well, just
give me a little sugar.
466
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:10,120
I'm really not in the mood.
467
00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:11,655
Can you just
let... Get off of me!
468
00:18:11,724 --> 00:18:14,303
What is wro... Give
me one little kiss!
469
00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:15,592
Will you please stop?
470
00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:21,465
Stop it!
471
00:18:25,237 --> 00:18:26,737
I'm telling you, this thing
472
00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:29,006
with Jordan is driving me crazy!
473
00:18:29,074 --> 00:18:31,314
Carrie, I know
you feel violated,
474
00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:32,387
but hang in there.
475
00:18:32,411 --> 00:18:34,623
In 2 days, he'll be
back in preschool.
476
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:36,046
I can't take
477
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,748
another 2 days
of this, all right?
478
00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:39,250
Every time I blink I see a pair
479
00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:42,253
of grubby little hands
and a Garanimals shirt.
480
00:18:44,023 --> 00:18:45,023
[Sighs]
481
00:18:45,091 --> 00:18:46,524
You know what?
482
00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:47,525
I'm just gonna tell Kaplan
483
00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:48,993
that I can't do it anymore.
484
00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:50,181
[Elevator Dings]
485
00:18:57,837 --> 00:18:59,003
Hi, Mr. Kaplan.
486
00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:00,516
Oh, good morning, Carrie. Uh...
487
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:01,584
can I talk to you for a second
488
00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:02,851
about my watching Jordan?
489
00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:05,409
Well, actually, I'm glad
you brought that up.
490
00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:08,512
Seems the young fellow
wants to make a change.
491
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:10,447
What kind of change?
492
00:19:10,516 --> 00:19:11,749
Well...
493
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,817
to be honest with you,
494
00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:16,420
he's kind of taken
a shine to Amanda.
495
00:19:25,064 --> 00:19:25,996
OK.
496
00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:27,345
Thanks for all
your help, Carrie.
497
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:28,400
Sure!
498
00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:39,009
Hey, Jordan.
499
00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:41,212
I heard about your decision.
500
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:43,947
I guess I understand.
501
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,294
I just hope you tell your father
502
00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:47,384
that I treated you well.
503
00:19:47,453 --> 00:19:49,686
Although I clearly couldn't be
504
00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:51,621
all that you wanted me to be.
505
00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:57,039
Just so you know,
506
00:19:57,063 --> 00:19:58,428
those are fake.
507
00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:09,707
[Sighs]
508
00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:11,742
Sorry, man. I, uh...
509
00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:13,744
I really let the team down.
510
00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:15,813
Yeah.
511
00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:17,321
OK, you didn't have
to agree with me.
512
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:19,295
Well, what the hell
am I supposed to say?
513
00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:21,519
You bowled a 94.
514
00:20:24,089 --> 00:20:25,723
It's all her fault.
515
00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:28,325
Hey, you know what?
516
00:20:28,393 --> 00:20:29,727
I should end this right now!
517
00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:31,272
Just tell her once and
for all that I'm not into her,
518
00:20:31,296 --> 00:20:33,597
I was just being nice.
What do you think?
519
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:36,800
Do you understand we
got beat by Lamps Plus?
520
00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:38,002
Hey!
521
00:20:41,207 --> 00:20:42,207
Hey!
522
00:20:45,477 --> 00:20:46,911
Hold up a sec!
523
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:52,316
Hey!
524
00:20:56,289 --> 00:20:57,521
Wait up!
525
00:21:02,728 --> 00:21:06,697
Aah!
526
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:11,268
Oh, God! [Tires Screech]
527
00:21:11,337 --> 00:21:13,704
Aah!
528
00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:16,474
It was a mercy flirt!
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