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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,303 --> 00:00:05,003 ♪ My eyes are gettin' weary ♪ 2 00:00:05,072 --> 00:00:07,906 ♪ My back is gettin' tight ♪ 3 00:00:07,975 --> 00:00:09,774 ♪ I'm sittin' here in traffic ♪ 4 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:12,878 ♪ On the Queensboro Bridge tonight ♪ 5 00:00:12,947 --> 00:00:18,283 ♪ But I don't care, 'cause all I wanna do ♪ 6 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:21,353 ♪ Is cash my check and drive right home to you ♪ 7 00:00:23,990 --> 00:00:25,435 ♪ 'Cause, baby, all my life ♪ 8 00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:28,861 ♪ I will be drivin' home to you ♪ 9 00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:40,271 Morning, chief. 10 00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:41,272 Hey, Artie. 11 00:00:41,341 --> 00:00:42,541 Whoa. Whatcha makin' there? 12 00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:45,844 A stack of flapjacks? Batter pies? Griddle hoppers? 13 00:00:45,913 --> 00:00:48,024 Yes, or as we like to call them on this planet... 14 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,048 Pancakes. 15 00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:50,983 You, uh, you want some? 16 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,986 No, thanks. Those things cork me up pretty good. 17 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,388 Hey. 18 00:00:57,424 --> 00:00:58,924 Pancakes?! 19 00:00:58,993 --> 00:01:01,159 Yeah. Sausage, too? 20 00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:02,594 What... what happened to your diet? 21 00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:04,173 Uh, not sure, really. 22 00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:05,976 I think it got lost in the shuffle 23 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,911 somewhere around Tuesday. 24 00:01:07,935 --> 00:01:10,969 Well, for God's sakes, eat a light lunch today, will you? 25 00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:12,516 What is the point of that? 26 00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:13,471 You can't resurrect a diet 27 00:01:13,541 --> 00:01:15,418 on a Friday afternoon. It's crazy. 28 00:01:15,442 --> 00:01:17,943 Just eat light, OK? 29 00:01:18,012 --> 00:01:20,145 The Finkels are taking us to a nice restaurant 30 00:01:20,213 --> 00:01:21,290 before the theater tonight. 31 00:01:21,314 --> 00:01:23,048 Finkels? The theater? 32 00:01:23,116 --> 00:01:24,750 What just happened here?! 33 00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:27,619 I told you about this last week. 34 00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:30,321 Sandy Finkel works for one of the senior partners, 35 00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:31,456 and she likes me, 36 00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:33,269 and it's good for me to have a friend upstairs. 37 00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:35,171 And for that I've got to sit through an entire play? 38 00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:36,294 What are we seeing anyway? 39 00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:37,729 The Iceman Cometh. 40 00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:38,730 What?! 41 00:01:38,799 --> 00:01:41,210 How do you even know you won't like it? 42 00:01:41,234 --> 00:01:44,436 Cometh, Carrie. Cometh! 43 00:01:49,075 --> 00:01:50,108 Hey, man. 44 00:01:50,176 --> 00:01:52,377 What have you got there, a salad? 45 00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:54,813 Yeah, I'm eating light. I got a dinner thing tonight. 46 00:01:54,882 --> 00:01:55,814 What's going on here? 47 00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:58,282 Egg-roll-eating contest. 48 00:02:02,188 --> 00:02:04,756 That's your seat, Mary. 49 00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:11,996 Actor: It's the best time of a man's life. 50 00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:13,676 Second actor: Great thing about you, Harry, 51 00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,166 how young you've stayed. 52 00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:16,735 Get my things from the laundry. 53 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,169 They must still have 'em. 54 00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:32,951 What the hell is going on in there? 55 00:02:33,019 --> 00:02:34,497 I'm sorry. My stomach's a little upset. 56 00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:35,587 A little?! 57 00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:39,091 You're making this place smell like a refinery. 58 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,526 The Finkels are staring. 59 00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:42,739 Look, I'm trying to burp towards you. 60 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,029 Gee, thanks so much. 61 00:02:44,098 --> 00:02:46,342 OK, look, I had some not-great egg rolls for lunch, OK? 62 00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:48,033 I told you to eat light. 63 00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:49,400 How many did you have? 64 00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:50,401 16. 65 00:02:50,470 --> 00:02:51,603 16? 66 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:53,105 It was a contest, OK? 67 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,217 And I won by a landslide, 68 00:02:54,241 --> 00:02:57,175 not that you even care, OK? 69 00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,448 OK, you know what? Stop doing that. 70 00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:05,016 I... I can't help it. 71 00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:06,525 Help it. I can't, Carrie! 72 00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:08,297 I ate 5 pounds of deep-fried cabbage. 73 00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:09,821 My pants are too tight. 74 00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:11,868 I'm sitting in a hot, enclosed space. 75 00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:13,424 It's The Perfect Storm. 76 00:03:16,063 --> 00:03:17,996 Then just go home. 77 00:03:18,064 --> 00:03:19,275 Really? Yes. 78 00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:21,311 I will make an excuse for you. Just take the subway, 79 00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:22,812 and I will see you later. OK, I love you. 80 00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:24,116 Get lost. OK. 81 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,340 Actor: Same applies to Harry himself 82 00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:30,508 and his 2 cronies at the bar. 83 00:03:30,577 --> 00:03:31,743 OK. 84 00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:41,086 Hello, darling. 85 00:03:41,155 --> 00:03:42,087 Hey, Daddy. 86 00:03:42,156 --> 00:03:43,766 Hey, sorry I had to bail tonight, 87 00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:46,023 but definitely the right move. 88 00:03:46,092 --> 00:03:51,229 Things got a lot worse on the subway. 89 00:03:51,298 --> 00:03:53,732 What is that? 90 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,433 This? A Yodel. 91 00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:56,768 A Yodel. 92 00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:58,369 Yeah, a Yodel. 93 00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:00,349 Not to be confused with the very similar 94 00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:03,241 but far less satisfying Ho-Ho. 95 00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:05,110 So let me get this straight. 96 00:04:05,179 --> 00:04:06,778 You had to walk out on me tonight 97 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:09,814 because you ate yourself into a burping stupor, 98 00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:14,285 and now you're stuffing your face full of chocolate-covered lard? 99 00:04:14,354 --> 00:04:16,199 It's not lard. It's cream, 100 00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:18,690 and it's gently coating my stomach. 101 00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,959 You think this is funny? 102 00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:24,262 No. It's ironic. 103 00:04:24,331 --> 00:04:27,432 I mean I can't even get mad at you anymore, Doug! 104 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:29,034 You're just too pathetic! 105 00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:31,803 Until you get yourself some help, don't even talk to me. 106 00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:33,883 Get myself some help? What does that even mean? 107 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:34,839 What does it mean? 108 00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:36,741 You need therapy, Doug. 109 00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,421 You need a trained professional 110 00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:40,556 to sit and talk with you and help you understand 111 00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:44,682 why you live your life like a raccoon in a Dumpster. 112 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,401 How can you eat that after what she just said?! 113 00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:53,425 She's just upset, OK? 114 00:04:53,493 --> 00:04:55,059 I'm going back on my diet tomorrow. 115 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,529 Oh, yes. "I'll fix everything tomorrow." 116 00:04:57,597 --> 00:05:00,698 The all too familiar refrain of the addict. 117 00:05:00,767 --> 00:05:02,512 Addict? Come on. No, I won't come on. 118 00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:04,213 You got a serious problem, young man, 119 00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:06,037 and you gotta face it. 120 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,109 OK, I wasn't gonna eat it that time. 121 00:05:12,178 --> 00:05:13,110 Listen to me, Douglas. 122 00:05:13,179 --> 00:05:14,857 I know from whence I speak. 123 00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:17,816 I've had the monkey on my back, too. 124 00:05:17,884 --> 00:05:21,986 That's right. Arthur Spooner was addicted. 125 00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:22,987 To what? 126 00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:24,255 Nasal spray. 127 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,324 All right. 128 00:05:25,358 --> 00:05:26,803 I tell you, with that sweet stuff in me, 129 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,828 I could breathe through my nose like I never dreamed possible! 130 00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:32,630 Fantastic feeling. 131 00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:36,468 And I chased that feeling through 8 jobs and 2 marriages. 132 00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:39,037 If it wasn't for methadone, 133 00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:41,907 I'd be on it to this day. 134 00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:47,946 So, basically, this process involves 135 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:51,116 taking a journey into your early childhood traumas 136 00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:53,117 to discover and hopefully modify 137 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:56,621 the unconscious desires that cause you to overeat. 138 00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:58,456 Right, right. 139 00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:01,860 And is this something that can be wrapped up today or... 140 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:04,562 You were 15 minutes late, 141 00:06:04,631 --> 00:06:06,398 So probably not. 142 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,400 Tha... Uh... 143 00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:10,902 I'm getting the impression 144 00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:13,449 that you... you don't have a lot of confidence in this process. 145 00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:15,785 It's just that, you know, I kind of think 146 00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:18,454 that if I ate less and hopped on a treadmill, 147 00:06:18,478 --> 00:06:20,290 it might help more than sitting here 148 00:06:20,314 --> 00:06:22,458 staring at a bowl full of Hershey Kisses. 149 00:06:22,482 --> 00:06:23,849 May I? 150 00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:25,750 Oh, I'm sorry. I meant to put those away. 151 00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:28,086 It's just my... my tax guy was here earlier, 152 00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:31,423 and, well, he... he likes to have something sweet. 153 00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:38,797 Uh, Doug, 154 00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:41,333 when you eat those, 155 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,368 can you tell me just... What are you feeling? 156 00:06:43,436 --> 00:06:44,635 To be honest, 157 00:06:44,704 --> 00:06:48,106 like they're a couple Halloweens past their prime. 158 00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:50,942 Um... 159 00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:54,112 but I was more wondering when... when you're... when you eat, 160 00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:57,015 how do you feel emotionally? 161 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:59,784 Uh, do you think that you seek out food 162 00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:03,721 when you're angry, depressed, elated? 163 00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:04,722 Yes, I do. 164 00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:06,158 Oh, which? 165 00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:08,104 Those, the ones you just said there. 166 00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:12,463 But I would add to the list scared and bored. 167 00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:14,199 Scared and bored. 168 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,733 And itchy. 169 00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:17,935 And itchy? 170 00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:39,423 No! 171 00:07:48,568 --> 00:07:50,312 So. Huh? Huh? Check it out. 172 00:07:50,336 --> 00:07:52,770 Another healthy breakfast? 173 00:07:52,839 --> 00:07:54,806 You're a madman. 174 00:07:54,874 --> 00:07:56,641 And watch this. 175 00:07:56,710 --> 00:08:00,144 I'm full, so now I'm gonna stop. 176 00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:05,861 You know, I've heard about people doing that, 177 00:08:05,885 --> 00:08:08,152 but I always thought it was just urban legend. 178 00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:09,988 Honey, I am really proud of you. 179 00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:11,756 So this therapy, it's working, huh? 180 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:12,902 Oh, yeah. In fact, 181 00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,704 Dr. Wagner's got me keeping a food journal. 182 00:08:14,728 --> 00:08:16,706 Helps me connect my emotions to my eating. 183 00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,329 Yeah? May I? 184 00:08:18,397 --> 00:08:20,209 All right, but don't laugh, 185 00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:22,900 'cause some of it's a little fruity. 186 00:08:22,969 --> 00:08:25,169 Let's see here. 187 00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:27,605 Uh, "Thursday, 9:30 A.M. 188 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,674 "Thinking of stopping for a cheesesteak. 189 00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:31,342 "Feeling depressed and humiliated 190 00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:34,512 because Supervisor O'Boyle called me a..." 191 00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:35,580 What's this? 192 00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:38,182 "Llama ass"? 193 00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:40,351 "Lame-ass." Ah! 194 00:08:40,419 --> 00:08:42,854 "A lame-ass in front of the other drivers, 195 00:08:42,922 --> 00:08:44,188 "but I'm not a lame-ass, 196 00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:46,390 and I don't need that cheesesteak." 197 00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:47,391 Good for you, baby. 198 00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:48,392 Thank you. 199 00:08:48,461 --> 00:08:50,695 "10:07 A.M.: Wanted a sausage calzone. 200 00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:52,563 Got one and ate it." 201 00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:57,135 That was just the first day. 202 00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,381 I didn't want to shock my system. 203 00:08:59,405 --> 00:09:00,516 I gotta tell you, honey. 204 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:01,851 I mean, I've seen you diet before, 205 00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,853 but you've got a different look in your eye this time. 206 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:06,188 Yeah. Yeah. This time it's the real deal. I can feel it. 207 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,357 Just don't let me lose too much weight, 'cause... 208 00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:10,815 I don't have a thin-guy head. 209 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,083 I'm on it. 210 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,606 This is it. 211 00:10:08,674 --> 00:10:10,874 This is where the magic happens. 212 00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:13,144 Oh, I am liking what I'm seeing. 213 00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:15,293 Actually, the magic happens in there. 214 00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:17,848 This is basically "the looney bull pen." 215 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:20,618 Oh, hi, Doug. 216 00:10:20,686 --> 00:10:22,098 Hey, Dr. Wagner. This is my wife Carrie. 217 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,054 Hi. Pleased to meet you. 218 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,222 Oh, same here. 219 00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,435 Hey, we just went out to dinner, and guess what? 220 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,059 She ate more than me. 221 00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:31,329 Yeah. I had a salad, half a sandwich, and an iced tea. 222 00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:32,875 Who is this guy? I don't know. 223 00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:33,831 I have no idea. 224 00:10:33,900 --> 00:10:35,378 So, you all set to... 225 00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:37,835 Yeah. I'm just gonna use the men's room. 226 00:10:37,904 --> 00:10:39,337 And then you go back to work on me. 227 00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:41,005 This guy, I'm telling you, he's amazing. 228 00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:43,052 I wish... I wish I had more problems for him to fix. 229 00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:44,076 I'll tell you that much. 230 00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:50,793 You've got a good man there. 231 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:52,417 Yeah, good man. Question. 232 00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,285 Uh, do you have a sec? 233 00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:56,554 I... I suppose so. 234 00:10:56,622 --> 00:10:58,289 Oh, OK. 235 00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:04,095 Uh, what if Doug did have other problems to fix? 236 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:06,831 Hypothetically, could you just kind of throw those in there 237 00:11:06,899 --> 00:11:08,444 while you're talking about the weight thing? 238 00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:10,067 Uh, sure, of course. 239 00:11:10,136 --> 00:11:11,814 I mean, my job is to steer the ship 240 00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:13,448 wherever the patient needs it to go. 241 00:11:13,472 --> 00:11:16,407 Yeah, you know where you might want to steer things: 242 00:11:16,475 --> 00:11:19,176 Doug's TV problem. 243 00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:22,480 He watches it a lot, kinda got a zombie thing goin' on there. 244 00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:24,482 Think you can spend some time with him on that? 245 00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:25,916 Uh, I... I... I could, 246 00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:28,130 but Doug would have to bring it up. 247 00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:30,722 Ah, yes, I would never want you to push it there. 248 00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:32,401 You know, obviously, you know what you're doing. 249 00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:33,436 You're a very talented man. 250 00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:34,692 Oh. 251 00:11:34,761 --> 00:11:35,904 Thank you. 252 00:11:35,928 --> 00:11:37,707 Yeah, I mean it. I mean, it's like, obviously, 253 00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:38,771 y-y-you have, like, a gift 254 00:11:38,831 --> 00:11:39,831 for this kind of work. 255 00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:41,444 I just kind of took to it in med school. 256 00:11:41,468 --> 00:11:42,400 Oh, yeah? Yeah, yeah. 257 00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:44,168 Yes. 258 00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:45,448 Which is good, 'cause I could never memorize the names 259 00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:46,404 of all those bones. 260 00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:47,405 Oh, yeah? 261 00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:49,585 The names, they're so similar. 262 00:11:49,609 --> 00:11:50,875 Yes, they are similar! 263 00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:52,777 Yes! 264 00:11:52,845 --> 00:11:54,812 Anyway, whatever you can do about the TV thing, 265 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,180 that would be great. 266 00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:59,517 Um, yeah, but you know, it's really up to Doug, though. 267 00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:02,052 Yeah, yeah, it's just that Doug might need a little... 268 00:12:02,121 --> 00:12:03,655 a little nudge, you know? 269 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,223 Like just a little bitty little nudge. 270 00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:09,260 Well, I... I just don't... 271 00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:10,561 Are your eyes brown or hazel? 272 00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:12,007 I can't... Steel blue. 273 00:12:12,031 --> 00:12:14,165 Steel blue. Fantastic. 274 00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:17,546 My mother would make dinner for me every night, 275 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:20,316 but after she got that job at the community center, 276 00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:23,141 she stopped. 277 00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:25,142 I was only 7 years old. 278 00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:27,044 You must have felt somewhat abandoned. 279 00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:30,682 Yeah, exactly, I felt completely abandoned. 280 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,462 I mean, she only worked every other Tuesday, 281 00:12:32,486 --> 00:12:35,019 but still, 282 00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:37,007 longest month of my life. 283 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:45,697 So, uh, what did you do on those, uh, nights until she got home? 284 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:48,199 I don't know. I watched TV or... 285 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:53,037 Oh, God, I used to rip the head off my G.I. Joe doll 286 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,250 and I'd stick it on top of a ketchup bottle 287 00:12:55,274 --> 00:12:57,634 and make him bleed through the ears. 288 00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,148 It was awesome. 289 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,787 Well, speaking of TV... 290 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:15,559 Hey. 291 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:16,961 Hey, baby. How was your session? 292 00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:18,507 Great. On my way home, 293 00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:19,541 I walked down Austin Street, 294 00:13:19,565 --> 00:13:22,044 or as I like to call it, doughnut alley, 295 00:13:22,068 --> 00:13:23,712 and I never broke stride. 296 00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:25,502 Oh, well, that's great! 297 00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:29,040 So you're probably really tired. 298 00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:32,810 You just want to relax and just watch some TV, huh? 299 00:13:37,884 --> 00:13:39,428 You know what? I don't think so. 300 00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:42,153 No TV? 301 00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:44,189 But you love TV, honey. 302 00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:46,168 Yeah, I love it too much. 303 00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:48,504 In fact, we talked about it in the last part of my session. 304 00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:51,028 About TV? Mm-hmm. 305 00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:52,697 How odd. 306 00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:55,633 You... you sure you don't want to watch TV? 307 00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:57,001 No. All right. 308 00:13:57,069 --> 00:13:59,937 You want to, uh, want to read a book? 309 00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:01,239 Whoa. 310 00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:04,876 Baby steps. 311 00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:11,182 Hello. 312 00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:12,683 I got some shampoo, 313 00:14:12,751 --> 00:14:17,688 2 packs of Juicy Fruit gum, uh, Playboy magazine, 314 00:14:17,756 --> 00:14:20,591 and a couple of these. 315 00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:29,811 Need a price check on Nostrin nasal decongestant, 316 00:14:29,835 --> 00:14:31,102 50 milliliters. 317 00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:33,438 That's all right. Just charge me whatever you want. 318 00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:36,218 Nostrin nasal spray. Can I get a price check, please? 319 00:14:36,242 --> 00:14:38,643 It's for a friend. 320 00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:46,851 All right, baby. Have a good time. 321 00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:47,852 OK, I'll see you at home. 322 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:49,721 OK. 323 00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:50,789 Psst! 324 00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:55,926 One sec. 325 00:15:00,166 --> 00:15:02,132 Uh, I-I-I'll be with you in just a moment. 326 00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:03,281 OK. 327 00:15:04,671 --> 00:15:07,037 Hi. I just wanted to say great job on the TV thing. 328 00:15:07,106 --> 00:15:09,607 You are like the Michael Jordan of psychotherapy. 329 00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:11,342 No, no, no. 330 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,944 Karl Malone, maybe. 331 00:15:14,013 --> 00:15:17,147 It's just that now that Doug's watching a lot less TV, 332 00:15:17,216 --> 00:15:19,484 we're having a lot more sexual time, 333 00:15:19,552 --> 00:15:20,718 which is good, 334 00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:22,720 but it could be better. 335 00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:26,257 That's where you come in. 336 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:48,412 Hey. 337 00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:50,414 Hey, Deac. 338 00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:51,593 What are you doing here? 339 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,551 I'm taking Doug to his therapy session. 340 00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,419 You are? Mm-hmm. 341 00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:56,731 But... but I always do that. 342 00:15:56,755 --> 00:15:58,733 Uh, yeah, but we're going to the driving range after. 343 00:15:58,757 --> 00:16:00,001 See, now that he's dropped a few pounds, 344 00:16:00,025 --> 00:16:02,493 he can actually see the ball on the tee. 345 00:16:02,562 --> 00:16:06,163 Damn, but I really need to talk to his therapist. 346 00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:08,944 I need you to do me a favor. 347 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,467 OK, uh, what's the favor? 348 00:16:10,537 --> 00:16:12,236 Give this to the guy, 349 00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:17,541 and whatever you do, do not let Doug see it. 350 00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:19,176 OK. What is it? 351 00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:20,978 It's a recipe. 352 00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:24,014 For clam chowder. 353 00:16:24,083 --> 00:16:26,161 You don't have to read it, sweetie. 354 00:16:26,185 --> 00:16:27,295 It's normal stuff, you know, 355 00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:29,387 clams, potatoes. 356 00:16:29,455 --> 00:16:32,289 "Doug needs to be more spontaneous." 357 00:16:32,358 --> 00:16:34,759 Uh, "Less pouty." 358 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,260 What is this? 359 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:38,440 All right, it's... 360 00:16:38,464 --> 00:16:39,396 it's a list for his therapist, 361 00:16:39,465 --> 00:16:40,843 things I want Doug to work on. 362 00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:42,144 I kinda do it to nudge his therapy 363 00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:43,245 in the right direction. 364 00:16:43,269 --> 00:16:44,401 And Doug doesn't know this? 365 00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:46,381 No! If he knew about it, he wouldn't go for it. 366 00:16:46,405 --> 00:16:49,085 I mean, he needs to think it's coming from the therapist. 367 00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:51,608 Why? Is that a horrible thing to do? 368 00:16:56,115 --> 00:16:57,615 Hand me the pen. 369 00:16:59,953 --> 00:17:03,955 So, in the dream, this weird red object kept appearing, 370 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,535 and I couldn't get away from it no matter what I did. 371 00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:09,293 What do you think it was? 372 00:17:14,266 --> 00:17:15,566 Dr. Wagner? 373 00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:17,067 Huh? Huh? What? 374 00:17:17,136 --> 00:17:19,537 The weird red thing in my dream, 375 00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:21,049 what do you think it was? 376 00:17:21,073 --> 00:17:24,642 Oh, that. Clearly, that represents, uh... 377 00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,177 pizza? 378 00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,281 But it was square. 379 00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:33,250 Chicago-style pizza in a pan. 380 00:17:33,319 --> 00:17:34,919 You know, Doug, 381 00:17:34,988 --> 00:17:37,388 we're... we're running a little low on time here. 382 00:17:37,456 --> 00:17:40,023 What do you say we shift the focus of the session 383 00:17:40,092 --> 00:17:42,693 to some other issues that you might want to deal with? 384 00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:45,128 Like maybe... 385 00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:46,730 a lack of spontaneity 386 00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:48,965 or poutiness. 387 00:17:49,034 --> 00:17:50,901 Are you pouty, Doug? 388 00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:54,605 I really want to talk about the dream some more. 389 00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:57,307 Uh-huh. I really don't think there's much there, Doug. 390 00:17:57,377 --> 00:18:00,611 Um, why don't we focus more 391 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,414 on paying your gambling debts 392 00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:07,885 or why you won't return your friend's Sting CD? 393 00:18:07,953 --> 00:18:11,689 Why... why do you keep looking at that paper for? 394 00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,957 Oh, this? Oh, this is nothing. 395 00:18:14,026 --> 00:18:15,571 I'm just... This is some notes I'm making 396 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:18,596 for a journal article that I'm... 397 00:18:20,033 --> 00:18:21,966 lying to you about, Doug. 398 00:18:22,035 --> 00:18:24,334 I can't do this. I'm sorry. I just can't do this. 399 00:18:24,403 --> 00:18:25,569 What? 400 00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:28,005 You know what? Just... Would you tell your wife 401 00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:29,584 that I did not go to medical school for 6 years 402 00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:32,376 to be giving therapy off the back of a Visa bill, all right? 403 00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:35,012 Damn it, Doug, I've won awards. 404 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:39,316 I think I need some time to myself. 405 00:18:41,688 --> 00:18:44,221 Hey, hey! So, am I getting my CD? 406 00:18:52,698 --> 00:18:54,765 I can't believe it was you. 407 00:18:54,833 --> 00:18:55,977 This whole time it was you 408 00:18:56,001 --> 00:18:57,078 who was trying to change me. 409 00:18:57,102 --> 00:18:59,170 I'm sorry. You weren't supposed to find out. 410 00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:00,582 Of course not. The puppet's not supposed to know 411 00:19:00,606 --> 00:19:03,774 there's a hand up his... puppet chute! 412 00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:05,009 All right, look. 413 00:19:05,078 --> 00:19:06,889 Maybe my methods were a little bit questionable, 414 00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:08,290 but I was only trying to help you. 415 00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:10,659 I just wanted to help you become a happier person. 416 00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:11,849 Really? Really? 417 00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:14,252 And how is not singing along with the car radio 418 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,353 going to make me happier? 419 00:19:16,422 --> 00:19:17,688 That's one of his. 420 00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:22,827 You never know the damn words, man. 421 00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:24,506 OK, you know what? You can leave now. 422 00:19:24,530 --> 00:19:25,963 As soon as I get my CD. 423 00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:27,998 It's by the stereo, OK? 424 00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:30,768 The case is kind of cracked. 425 00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:33,170 I can't believe you. I mean, why'd you even marry me 426 00:19:33,239 --> 00:19:34,316 if you hate everything about me? 427 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:35,472 I don't. 428 00:19:35,541 --> 00:19:37,507 Oh, please. 429 00:19:37,576 --> 00:19:39,421 You've been feeding this guy your complaints for a month. 430 00:19:39,445 --> 00:19:40,622 I should've just strapped 431 00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:41,724 a suggestion box to my ass, 432 00:19:41,748 --> 00:19:42,847 saved you the trip. 433 00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:46,128 Doug, when this whole thing started, 434 00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:49,220 my only agenda was that you stop overeating. 435 00:19:49,288 --> 00:19:50,921 I promise you. 436 00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:52,434 But then I thought, you know, 437 00:19:52,458 --> 00:19:55,225 as long as the car is in the shop... 438 00:19:55,294 --> 00:19:57,928 The car? The car? That's what I am to you? 439 00:19:57,997 --> 00:19:59,229 A car I love. 440 00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:02,144 The only car I ever want to drive. 441 00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:03,600 Look. 442 00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:04,880 Why'd you have to talk to the shrink? 443 00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:06,336 Why couldn't you just come to me? 444 00:20:06,405 --> 00:20:09,406 Because I don't know how to fix a car. 445 00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:10,819 You know? For your sake, 446 00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:13,883 I wanted to make sure that you were properly serviced. 447 00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:16,424 That's all? You just wanted to make sure 448 00:20:16,448 --> 00:20:19,416 I was properly... serviced? 449 00:20:19,485 --> 00:20:20,952 Exactly. 450 00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:23,888 OK, well, then I'll see you upstairs for a jiffy lube. 451 00:20:30,596 --> 00:20:33,364 Doug: And bring ice cream for after! 452 00:20:36,101 --> 00:20:37,946 Oh. Good night, darling. 453 00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:39,870 Good night, Dad. 454 00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:28,352 What have I become? 455 00:21:48,807 --> 00:21:51,575 Hey! What the devil do you think you're doing?! 456 00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:53,077 Buying nasal spray. 457 00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:55,079 Not if I have anything to say about it. 458 00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:57,081 But I have a cold. 459 00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:58,448 Liar! 460 00:22:00,619 --> 00:22:02,619 I just saved your life! 32366

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