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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,070 --> 00:00:04,969 ♪ My eyes are gettin' weary ♪ 2 00:00:05,039 --> 00:00:07,906 ♪ My back is gettin' tight ♪ 3 00:00:07,975 --> 00:00:09,815 ♪ I'm sitting here in traffic ♪ 4 00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:12,611 ♪ On the Queensboro Bridge tonight ♪ 5 00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:17,949 ♪ But I don't care, 'cause all I want to do ♪ 6 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:23,721 ♪ Is cash my check and drive right home to you ♪ 7 00:00:23,790 --> 00:00:26,091 ♪ 'Cause, baby, all my life ♪ 8 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,727 ♪ I will be drivin' home to you ♪ 9 00:00:34,301 --> 00:00:36,045 Marv Albert on TV: Good pressure defense, 10 00:00:36,069 --> 00:00:39,170 back out to the top of the key, yes! 11 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,974 How great is Marv Albert's "Yes!"? 12 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,743 Classic. 13 00:00:44,812 --> 00:00:46,289 You think he had that since he was a kid? 14 00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:49,948 You know, like, "Marvin, did you make in the potty?" 15 00:00:50,016 --> 00:00:52,384 "Yes! And it counts!" 16 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,454 So, where's Carrie tonight? 17 00:00:55,523 --> 00:00:57,167 Firm's having this big party 18 00:00:57,191 --> 00:00:58,368 because they won some case. 19 00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,992 Ooh, so she's working late with the boss man? 20 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:02,927 ♪ Bom boka chicka ba-kow ♪ 21 00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:04,429 ♪ Caboka yeow ow ♪ 22 00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:06,264 What is that? 23 00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:08,534 It's porno music. 24 00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:12,103 Oh. I thought it was the Starsky and Hutch theme. 25 00:01:12,172 --> 00:01:13,739 It's clearly porno music. 26 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,987 That's right. ♪ Bom... ♪ 27 00:01:17,011 --> 00:01:19,811 Aah! Getting nauseous! 28 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,013 Oh, I gotta run. 29 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,826 I gotta pick up the kids at Kelly's. 30 00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:24,895 Can't they wait 10 minutes? We got a tie game here. 31 00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:26,630 Nah. It takes me forever to find a place to park there. 32 00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:28,119 I got a damn ticket 33 00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:29,120 when I dropped them off this morning. 34 00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:31,289 Hey, Arthur. Have a good one. 35 00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:35,126 You may not want to rush out of here just yet. 36 00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:37,228 I have an enticing proposition for you 37 00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:40,265 vis-à-vis your parking ticket. 38 00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:42,601 What? 39 00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:44,402 I have a pal named Smitty. 40 00:01:44,471 --> 00:01:46,371 We were kosher slaughterers back in the fifties, 41 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,574 the heyday of kosher meats. 42 00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:49,653 Uh-huh. 43 00:01:49,677 --> 00:01:52,911 One day, Smitty got cute with an ax. 44 00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:56,882 Thanks to me, he still has his thumbs. 45 00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:59,150 No pinkies, though. 46 00:01:59,219 --> 00:02:03,555 Right. My kids are waiting for me, so... 47 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,924 Smitty works down at the Parking Bureau now. 48 00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:08,259 He'll fix any ticket for me. 49 00:02:08,328 --> 00:02:10,261 I appreciate the gesture, but no, thanks. 50 00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:11,763 Clean out your ears, fella! 51 00:02:11,832 --> 00:02:14,198 I can make this whole thing go away! 52 00:02:14,267 --> 00:02:15,745 All right. Knock yourself out. 53 00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:19,538 I wasn't gonna pay the thing anyway. 54 00:02:19,606 --> 00:02:21,907 Hello! 55 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,520 Oh, somebody's in a good mood. 56 00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:26,077 That's because somebody won a big, fat prize 57 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:27,545 at the party raffle. 58 00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:28,614 For the next month, 59 00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:32,917 we get 4 company seats to the Knicks. 60 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,587 Yeah! No way! Aah! 61 00:02:39,626 --> 00:02:41,759 Stop! Ohhhh! 62 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:42,828 Wa-hoo! 63 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:47,199 Look, this is awkward. I'm sorry, you guys, 64 00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:49,879 but Doug and I are going to be taking another couple. 65 00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:51,102 What? Who? 66 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,338 I don't know yet, but not them. 67 00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:56,742 Come on! We're delightful! 68 00:02:56,810 --> 00:03:00,278 Doug, I need a girl there, OK? 69 00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,325 While you and the other guy are talking about the game, 70 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,327 we could be talking about which gorgeous black man 71 00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,952 fills out his shorts better. 72 00:03:08,122 --> 00:03:10,588 Come on, Car! 73 00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:12,791 I don't want to go to the Knick game 74 00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:14,993 with a couple I've never met before. 75 00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:18,030 I hate people I don't know. 76 00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:20,365 Doug, these are my tickets and I decide. 77 00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:22,411 Now, keep bitchin', I may not even take you. 78 00:03:22,435 --> 00:03:26,838 You know, winning this raffle's really changed you. 79 00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:30,842 Oh, I know. I'll take Elly from spinning class and her husband. 80 00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:33,144 I don't know them, OK? 81 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:36,225 Elly's great, and she told me her husband's a sports nut. 82 00:03:36,249 --> 00:03:37,369 You'll love 'em. 83 00:03:40,287 --> 00:03:44,055 Ha! You might be right, but in his defense, 84 00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:45,924 those are very baggy shorts. 85 00:03:45,992 --> 00:03:48,070 Well, Number 28's shorts are baggy, 86 00:03:48,094 --> 00:03:49,272 and it ain't hurtin' him. 87 00:03:50,997 --> 00:03:55,166 Back in my day, they used a 2-handed set shot. 88 00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:58,169 Now, that was basketball. 89 00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,015 Did you ever see Stretch Maloney 90 00:04:00,039 --> 00:04:03,375 play for the old St. Louis Bombers? 91 00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:06,611 I don't believe I did, no. 92 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:09,147 How you doing, hon? 93 00:04:11,551 --> 00:04:14,419 We gonna grab some food after this? 94 00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:16,187 Uh, you know, we don't have to. 95 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,356 I'm sure you got an early day at work tomorrow, so... 96 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:19,703 No, I'm retired. 97 00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:22,360 Of course, you are. 98 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,269 OK, bye, you guys! We had a great time! 99 00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:25,857 See ya! Bye! 100 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:30,636 I didn't know, OK? 101 00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:32,804 In all the times you were spinning, 102 00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:34,851 she never once said, "Hey, great workout. 103 00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:37,976 By the way, my husband, a billion years old." 104 00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:41,780 I don't think it's a big deal. I really don't. 105 00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:43,326 Of course you don't. Because you're not the one 106 00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:47,118 who had to remind him where he was after he woke up from his nap! 107 00:04:47,186 --> 00:04:50,121 Doug, you are just rejecting him because he's old. 108 00:04:50,189 --> 00:04:52,690 That's called ageism, and it's illegal. 109 00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:55,527 I oughta punch you square in the mouth. 110 00:04:55,595 --> 00:04:58,496 I understand if you want to do the couple thing, 111 00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,410 but we got to find a couple that works for both of us, OK? 112 00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:03,635 And right now, Grandpa Munster ain't getting it done! 113 00:05:03,703 --> 00:05:06,771 OK, I'm open to suggestions, 114 00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,618 and don't say Danny and Spence. 115 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,975 Danny and Deacon. No. 116 00:05:11,044 --> 00:05:13,778 OK, then, hey, how about Eddie, you know, from work? 117 00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:14,779 He's got a girlfriend. 118 00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:15,848 OK. I like Eddie. 119 00:05:15,915 --> 00:05:17,694 What do we know about the girlfriend? 120 00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:20,285 I know she has all her own heart valves. 121 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,594 Hello. I'd like to see Smitty, please. 122 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:30,663 Smitty? 123 00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:34,465 Medium build, brown hair? 124 00:05:34,534 --> 00:05:36,501 No pinkies? 125 00:05:36,569 --> 00:05:38,636 Oh, Nubsy. 126 00:05:38,705 --> 00:05:41,039 He hasn't been here in, like, 5 years. 127 00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:42,285 Mmm, that's too bad. 128 00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:44,387 He used to handle my tickets for me. 129 00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:49,192 Oh, well. I suppose the baton shall pass to a new generation. 130 00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:53,852 Now, make like Houdini and get this ticket to disappear. 131 00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:55,187 I'm sorry. I can't. 132 00:05:55,255 --> 00:05:58,156 Look, I told my friend I would make this go away. 133 00:05:58,225 --> 00:06:02,060 Don't make me slink back to him with my tail between my legs. 134 00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:04,329 Sir, there's really nothing I can do. 135 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:10,568 Perhaps a visit 136 00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:16,174 from Mr. Abraham Lincoln would change your mind? 137 00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,244 I don't think so. 138 00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:24,615 What if Mr. Jackson came along for the ride? 139 00:06:24,684 --> 00:06:27,853 Sir, for 2 more dollars, you could just pay the ticket. 140 00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:33,191 How about if only one of the Washington twins showed up? 141 00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:35,526 I'm gonna need them both. 142 00:06:35,595 --> 00:06:38,129 Righto. 143 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,702 Come on! Play some defense! 144 00:06:44,771 --> 00:06:47,538 My cleaning lady could have blocked that shot! 145 00:06:51,544 --> 00:06:54,946 Nice steal, man. Hey, I think he heard you! 146 00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:58,416 See, you treat 'em like dirt and they do what you want. 147 00:06:58,485 --> 00:07:02,120 You know, you're gonna make a great dad someday. 148 00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:05,223 I mean, the doctor told me it was totally normal, 149 00:07:05,291 --> 00:07:10,228 but I don't know. Are your breasts lopsided? 150 00:07:10,296 --> 00:07:11,930 No. 151 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,838 Oh, Carrie, if you're free tomorrow afternoon, 152 00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:21,305 you want to maybe grab some coffee? 153 00:07:21,374 --> 00:07:23,219 Oh, I have a spinning class. Sorry. Yeah. 154 00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:25,576 Good for you. I should exercise more. 155 00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,045 Do some stretching. 156 00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:31,315 Maybe then sex wouldn't be so incredibly uncomfortable for me. 157 00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:34,385 I'm tiny down there. 158 00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:44,062 Let me freshen you up there. 159 00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:46,064 Oh, my, very generous. 160 00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:49,112 I hope you're not gonna try to take advantage of me later. 161 00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:51,970 Again, Arthur, no. 162 00:07:52,039 --> 00:07:53,338 Hey, Deac. 163 00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:56,341 Arthur! What brings you to our little watering hole? 164 00:07:56,409 --> 00:07:59,177 Fellas, say hello to the fixer. 165 00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:00,778 He's drinking on me tonight. 166 00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:02,292 What are you talking about? 167 00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:03,982 He fixed my parking ticket, like magic. 168 00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:06,084 He's like... He's like the Lucky Charms guy. 169 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,418 Tell him the story. 170 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:10,621 I merely gave it to my pal Smitty downtown. 171 00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:14,392 He ripped it up and threw it in the air like so much confetti. 172 00:08:14,461 --> 00:08:16,794 He's theatrical that way. 173 00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:17,896 Wow! 174 00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:19,008 Hey, you know, me and Spence get tickets 175 00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,643 in front of our building all the time. 176 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:21,766 Don't worry about it, man. 177 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,768 From now on, just give them to the fixer here. 178 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:24,769 Really? 179 00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:25,904 Could we? 180 00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:27,105 Ah... 181 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,318 Are you kidding? This guy's got the hookup. 182 00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:30,541 He just feeds them to Smitty, and they go away. 183 00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:31,610 Right, Arthur? 184 00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:38,183 Park with impunity! 185 00:08:50,897 --> 00:08:54,065 ♪ I got a feelin' ♪ 186 00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:57,736 ♪ Everything is gonna be all right ♪ 187 00:08:57,804 --> 00:09:02,273 ♪ Whoa, I got a feelin' ♪ 188 00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:05,643 ♪ Everything is gonna be all right ♪ 189 00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:10,114 ♪ Whoa, whoa, I got a feelin' ♪ 190 00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:13,751 ♪ Everything is gonna be all right ♪ 191 00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:17,722 ♪ Be all right, be all right ♪ 192 00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:21,059 ♪ Be all right ♪ 193 00:09:28,434 --> 00:09:30,512 Video Game Announcer: On the attack, bringing the ball up court. 194 00:09:30,536 --> 00:09:31,914 Houston brings it down... 195 00:09:31,938 --> 00:09:32,938 Yes! 196 00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:34,472 Ha ha ha! 197 00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:36,641 You know, we should actually go to the park 198 00:09:36,709 --> 00:09:38,943 and play hoops sometime. 199 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,713 I'm gonna level with you. I'm winded from this. 200 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,883 Ah, you know what? I gotta run. 201 00:09:45,952 --> 00:09:47,196 Just gotta make a pit stop first. 202 00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:49,321 Announcer: They have 90... 203 00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:51,643 Hey. Hey. 204 00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:53,491 Hey, Doug. Hey, Elly. 205 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:54,993 All right, I gotta get going. 206 00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:56,828 Car, can I just fill up my water bottle? 207 00:09:56,896 --> 00:09:59,296 Carrie: Yeah. Right in there. 208 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,100 Hmm. 209 00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:02,900 Elly's filling up her water bottle, 210 00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:04,769 and Eddie's peeing upstairs. 211 00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:07,272 It's the circle of life. 212 00:10:07,341 --> 00:10:08,985 Hey, I got Knick tickets for Friday. 213 00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:11,620 What do you say we give Elly and Stuart another shot, huh? 214 00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:13,078 Oldie? Not a chance. 215 00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,857 Hey, let's... let's ask Eddie and Simone. 216 00:10:14,881 --> 00:10:17,482 What? Do you think that couple worked for me? 217 00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:21,286 I'm not spending another 3 hours with... with Lopsidey. 218 00:10:22,889 --> 00:10:24,867 OK, that is a really dumb nickname. 219 00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:27,925 OK, would you prefer Tiny Giny? 220 00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:34,966 I think I would. 221 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:36,868 Well, I'm asking Elly. 222 00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:38,214 I'm... Well, I'm asking Eddie. 223 00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:39,370 Don't you dare. 224 00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:40,738 D-Don't you dare me. 225 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:43,152 Hey! Hey! You and Stuart wanna go to the Knicks on Friday? 226 00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:45,609 Oh, I would love to, but we can't. 227 00:10:45,678 --> 00:10:48,779 Stuart's away at his 50th high school reunion. 228 00:10:48,849 --> 00:10:49,981 Aww. 229 00:10:51,918 --> 00:10:53,963 Hey, Eddie, Eddie. You and Simone busy Friday night? 230 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,397 You wanna go to the Knick game? 231 00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:57,788 Oh, sorry, man. She's gonna be out of town for a work thing. 232 00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:59,623 Aww. 233 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,760 Hey. I'm Eddie. 234 00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:06,064 Hey. I'm Elly. Nice to meet you. 235 00:11:28,654 --> 00:11:30,855 There's no way I can pay all these tickets. 236 00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:32,523 The boys are gonna find out I'm a fraud. 237 00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:34,391 It's over. Over! 238 00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:37,928 Smitty's still gonna take care of my ticket, right? 239 00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:44,035 There is no Smitty, you crazy old man! 240 00:11:45,838 --> 00:11:49,907 I curse the day I ever met that 8-fingered freak. 241 00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:52,844 Wh-What if I called Smitty myself? 242 00:11:52,913 --> 00:11:56,014 Shut up! 243 00:11:57,850 --> 00:11:59,384 Great night. 244 00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:00,785 Fantastic. 245 00:12:00,853 --> 00:12:02,954 We finally find the perfect couple, 246 00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:05,034 and they're not even a couple. 247 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,225 I know. I mean, it was incredible. 248 00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:09,294 Me and him, you and her, me and her! 249 00:12:09,362 --> 00:12:10,494 You and him! 250 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:13,798 It was working from every angle! 251 00:12:13,866 --> 00:12:16,045 I mean, why can't Eddie and Elly just be a couple? 252 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,646 We could do everything with them. 253 00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:19,470 Movies, barbecues. 254 00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:22,551 Vermont. We've always wanted to go to Vermont. 255 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,543 They would be phenomenal in Vermont. 256 00:12:25,611 --> 00:12:28,657 I can't believe they're attached to other people. 257 00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:29,613 It sucks. 258 00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:32,383 Cupid really botched this one. 259 00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:35,920 Swing and a miss for the naked baby. 260 00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:37,955 How sweet would it be 261 00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:41,159 if Oldie and Tiny were out of the picture? 262 00:12:41,227 --> 00:12:44,106 Then we could just put Eddie and Elly together. 263 00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:46,297 Hey, maybe we can sit down with all of them 264 00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:50,267 and very politely ask them to switch partners. 265 00:12:50,336 --> 00:12:54,138 Or we can cut Oldie and Tiny's brakes, 266 00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:56,340 like they do in the movies. 267 00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:59,677 That's good, but I don't fit under cars anymore. 268 00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:01,257 All right, let's just stop this. 269 00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,614 We're just torturing ourselves. 270 00:13:03,683 --> 00:13:05,149 You're right, you're right. 271 00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:07,262 Eddie and Elly are not together, 272 00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:08,864 and they never will be. 273 00:13:08,888 --> 00:13:11,322 We just need to forget tonight ever happened. 274 00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,525 I can't. 275 00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:24,169 Thank you, Mr. Spooner. 276 00:13:24,237 --> 00:13:25,277 No, thank you. 277 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:26,449 Now, please make the check out 278 00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:29,274 to the Parking Violations Bureau. 279 00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:31,543 Oh, we don't pay people for their blood anymore. 280 00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:32,677 What? 281 00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:34,912 Only the less reputable places still pay cash. 282 00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:36,814 Uh-huh. 283 00:13:36,883 --> 00:13:38,861 I'd like my blood back, please. 284 00:13:38,885 --> 00:13:40,418 What? You heard me. 285 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:41,597 Pump it back in. 286 00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:43,366 I'm taking my business elsewhere. 287 00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:45,523 I can't pump your blood back in. 288 00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,537 You were gonna pump it into someone else, right? 289 00:13:47,561 --> 00:13:48,493 Yes. 290 00:13:48,562 --> 00:13:51,062 Well, meet someone else. 291 00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:52,130 Sorry. 292 00:14:10,716 --> 00:14:12,895 I had a great time the other night 293 00:14:12,919 --> 00:14:14,886 with you guys and Eddie. 294 00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:17,521 Oh, we did, too. Great time. 295 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:19,402 Actually, it was just what I needed. 296 00:14:19,426 --> 00:14:20,658 Huh? 297 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,406 Well, can I tell you something? 298 00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:25,196 Sure. 299 00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:28,705 Things aren't going that well between me and Stuart. 300 00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:31,202 Well... Well, what do you mean? 301 00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:33,315 Oh, don't get me wrong. He's great. 302 00:14:33,339 --> 00:14:35,773 Really. It's just a lot of stuff. 303 00:14:35,841 --> 00:14:39,177 I mean, the age difference and, uh... 304 00:14:39,245 --> 00:14:40,811 You know what? 305 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,040 I'm overreacting. 306 00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:43,259 Forget it. Everything's fine. 307 00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:46,217 No, no... Hey, slow down there, girly-girl. 308 00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:47,751 Let's talk. 309 00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:56,693 What... What's with you? 310 00:14:56,762 --> 00:14:58,162 I did it, Doug. 311 00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,497 Did what? 312 00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,176 I don't know how it started, 313 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,078 but... but... but she said something 314 00:15:03,102 --> 00:15:04,980 about things not going well with her and Stuart, 315 00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:06,548 you know, like, he's old and everything. 316 00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,639 And before I knew it, I said, yeah, 317 00:15:08,707 --> 00:15:10,185 and what if you guys do wanna have kids... 318 00:15:10,209 --> 00:15:12,254 I just thought of that one right there on the spot... 319 00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:14,412 And she said, yeah, 320 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,747 that it has been an issue, and then I said, well, 321 00:15:16,815 --> 00:15:18,560 hey, maybe you guys should think about takin' a break, 322 00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:19,950 and now... and she said, yeah, 323 00:15:20,019 --> 00:15:21,419 and now they're separating. Ha ha... 324 00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:25,923 What? I'm hungry, Doug! 325 00:15:25,992 --> 00:15:27,336 Come on, let's go get some steaks, baby. 326 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,293 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 327 00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:31,062 You broke up a marriage? 328 00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:32,475 It was headed there anyway. 329 00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:34,577 Now all you gotta do is break up Eddie and Tiny. 330 00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:35,900 What? 331 00:15:35,968 --> 00:15:38,514 What "what"? This is exactly what we talked about! 332 00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:39,715 We also talked about cutting their brakes. 333 00:15:39,739 --> 00:15:40,871 You wanna do that, too? 334 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,474 We don't have to do that now, ya doof. 335 00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:45,376 Hello? Ha ha ha! 336 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,046 Oh, my God, you are terrifying. 337 00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:51,249 Kids are gonna start wearing you as a Halloween mask! 338 00:15:51,317 --> 00:15:53,884 Doug! Doug, we're halfway there. 339 00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,431 I broke up a marriage. All you gotta do 340 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,199 is break up a boyfriend and a girlfriend. 341 00:15:57,223 --> 00:15:58,567 I could do that before breakfast. 342 00:15:58,591 --> 00:15:59,990 No, no! I'm... I'm not doin' it! 343 00:16:00,059 --> 00:16:01,259 Doug, Vermont! 344 00:16:01,327 --> 00:16:02,693 Think of Vermont. 345 00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:04,094 Skiing... 346 00:16:04,163 --> 00:16:06,797 just the 4 of us relaxing in the hot tub? 347 00:16:06,866 --> 00:16:09,186 I betcha they look pretty when they're wet. 348 00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:11,969 No, that is it! End of story, OK? 349 00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:16,974 Stop staring, devil woman! 350 00:16:22,214 --> 00:16:25,683 I... I'm sorry I didn't check in, Simone. 351 00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:28,486 Yeah, I just... I can't call you every 10 minutes! 352 00:16:28,554 --> 00:16:29,754 Yeah. 353 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:32,222 I'm havin' a beer with Doug. 354 00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:34,258 Oh, it's one beer, OK? 355 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:35,826 I'll see you at home. 356 00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:41,399 Man, Simone is all over me lately. 357 00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:43,701 You know what I'm all over? 358 00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:46,604 Purple M&Ms. 359 00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:48,417 I fought 'em for a while, but... 360 00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:50,574 they won. 361 00:16:51,644 --> 00:16:54,044 I mean, she's pretty, but... 362 00:16:54,113 --> 00:16:56,013 she's really needy! 363 00:16:56,081 --> 00:16:59,249 You know, she's always asking if I think her boobs look normal. 364 00:17:00,986 --> 00:17:03,954 "They look fine. Now, can you put them back in?" 365 00:17:06,992 --> 00:17:09,293 I just don't know. What should I do here, Doug? 366 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,006 It's done. 367 00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:45,062 Hey, it's the fixer! 368 00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:50,434 All, applauding: Hey, Fixie! Hey! 369 00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:53,304 Gentlemen, can I have a moment of your time? 370 00:17:53,372 --> 00:17:56,307 Sure. Make some space for the fixer, boys. 371 00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:58,120 There we go. Right there. 372 00:17:58,144 --> 00:17:59,209 Fellas, 373 00:17:59,278 --> 00:18:01,412 these, uh, past few weeks 374 00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:03,280 we've spent together, 375 00:18:03,349 --> 00:18:04,894 they've meant the world to me, 376 00:18:04,918 --> 00:18:08,085 but the truth is... 377 00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:15,125 The truth is... 378 00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:19,642 it's an honor to fix your tickets! 379 00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:21,799 Fixie! 380 00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:22,868 Fixie! 381 00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:30,441 Oh, Fixie, Fixie! 382 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,696 Great game, huh, honey? 383 00:19:27,266 --> 00:19:28,332 What's your problem? 384 00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:29,733 They're my problem. 385 00:19:31,237 --> 00:19:33,070 What? Well, look at them. They're perfect! 386 00:19:33,138 --> 00:19:34,705 We made a beautiful match. 387 00:19:34,773 --> 00:19:36,785 No, we took 4 innocent people into the lab 388 00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:38,753 and built ourselves a Franken-couple. 389 00:19:38,777 --> 00:19:40,010 Just stop it! 390 00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:43,914 Hey, uh, are you guys OK over there? 391 00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:46,428 Oh, yeah, yeah. It's all good over here. No problems. 392 00:19:46,452 --> 00:19:47,496 Yeah, it's all good. 393 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,164 We're fine. We... We got what we want, 394 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:52,348 and, clearly, that's all that really matters. 395 00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:54,637 Oh, just Diet Coke for me, baby. Thanks. 396 00:19:54,661 --> 00:19:56,027 Mm-wah. 397 00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,407 What is up with Doug? 398 00:19:58,431 --> 00:19:59,431 I don't know. 399 00:19:59,465 --> 00:20:01,933 He's been actin' like a real tool lately. 400 00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:04,179 I don't get it. What does Carrie see in him? 401 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,335 I don't know. 402 00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:09,840 Jeff! 403 00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:12,109 Oh, my God! Eddie! How ya doin'? 404 00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:15,112 Great! Wow, it's been a few years, huh? 405 00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:16,447 How'd you score these seats? 406 00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:18,683 Oh, uh, we got them from our friend Carrie. 407 00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:20,985 Ooh, she's cute. 408 00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:23,387 What's her situation? 409 00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:25,355 Well... 410 00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:30,696 she's with someone, 411 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:33,764 but they seem to fight a lot lately. 412 00:20:35,367 --> 00:20:37,201 Uh, Carrie? 413 00:20:37,269 --> 00:20:39,036 Meet Jeff. 414 00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:40,404 Hello. 415 00:20:52,351 --> 00:20:53,450 Hi. 416 00:20:53,519 --> 00:20:54,551 Hi. 417 00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:56,831 Oh, I'm sorry. I... I didn't mean to stare, 418 00:20:56,855 --> 00:21:00,090 but you just look so lovely in that sweater. 419 00:21:00,159 --> 00:21:01,592 Really? 420 00:21:01,661 --> 00:21:04,762 'Cause it... it's hard for me to shop. 421 00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:07,364 I'm a little uneven on top. 422 00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:10,333 Well, you look perfect to me. 30041

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