Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:12,534 --> 00:00:16,142
- Decoy? Decoy?
- I did warn you.
2
00:00:16,175 --> 00:00:17,846
After you threw me off the bike.
3
00:00:17,879 --> 00:00:20,250
So less a warning
than an assignment.
4
00:00:20,283 --> 00:00:22,421
God, I've always wanted to
throw him off something.
5
00:00:22,454 --> 00:00:24,291
- What's it like?
- Surprisingly easy.
6
00:00:24,324 --> 00:00:26,630
You're easy! Wait, no.
7
00:00:26,663 --> 00:00:28,868
You're whatever's
sexually undesirable
8
00:00:28,901 --> 00:00:30,638
due to untrustworthiness.
9
00:00:30,671 --> 00:00:32,909
Like my tennis coach who,
turns out, is married.
10
00:00:32,942 --> 00:00:34,178
I don't see the problem.
11
00:00:34,211 --> 00:00:35,782
You still got away
from the police.
12
00:00:35,815 --> 00:00:38,219
And then got tranqed by the
international jewel thieves
13
00:00:38,252 --> 00:00:39,790
we're supposed to
be taking down.
14
00:00:39,823 --> 00:00:42,194
Yeah, and they didn't use
the good stuff either.
15
00:00:42,227 --> 00:00:45,200
My point is, this is
all part of the plan.
16
00:00:46,502 --> 00:00:49,275
Yeah, and, um, what
part of the plan comes
17
00:00:49,308 --> 00:00:51,708
after being chained by our feet
to the ceiling of a sea cave?
18
00:00:53,416 --> 00:00:54,518
The fun part.
19
00:01:37,003 --> 00:01:38,607
Easy, Lillian Leitzel.
20
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,312
Excuse me for not
wanting to die dangling.
21
00:01:41,345 --> 00:01:42,882
Oh, yeah, much better to die
22
00:01:42,915 --> 00:01:45,722
swinging back and forth
like a rummy old piñata.
23
00:01:45,755 --> 00:01:48,460
No one's going to die!
24
00:01:48,493 --> 00:01:50,932
But we will drown if we're
not free in a few minutes.
25
00:01:50,965 --> 00:01:53,838
So, Zara, what
exactly is your plan?
26
00:01:53,871 --> 00:01:55,908
Because so far,
it's...
27
00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:57,946
Rob a probably innocent man,
28
00:01:57,979 --> 00:02:00,250
then rob a definitely
innocent museum...
29
00:02:00,283 --> 00:02:01,787
Get tranquilized,
30
00:02:01,820 --> 00:02:04,425
then hang upside down in a cave.
31
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:05,637
The plan's actually too intense
32
00:02:05,661 --> 00:02:07,006
for your aging
brain to understand,
33
00:02:07,030 --> 00:02:08,768
but we're waiting
on step 3 of 12.
34
00:02:08,801 --> 00:02:10,571
14, if they have guard dogs.
35
00:02:10,604 --> 00:02:11,807
Seriously?
36
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,476
- Seriously?
- Problem?
37
00:02:13,509 --> 00:02:15,615
"I have a plan, but
I can't share it,"
38
00:02:15,648 --> 00:02:18,253
is exactly what people say
when they don't have a plan
39
00:02:18,286 --> 00:02:19,488
and hope it all works out.
40
00:02:19,521 --> 00:02:20,558
Wonder why you know that.
41
00:02:20,591 --> 00:02:22,227
We all know why I know that!
42
00:02:22,260 --> 00:02:24,498
The difference is, I
actually have a plan.
43
00:02:24,531 --> 00:02:26,002
- Trust me.
- I don't.
44
00:02:26,035 --> 00:02:27,504
You're a loose cannon.
45
00:02:27,537 --> 00:02:29,709
You're kind of also
a loose cannon, bud.
46
00:02:29,742 --> 00:02:32,448
Exactly, and you can't have
two loose cannons on one ship.
47
00:02:32,481 --> 00:02:33,651
They'd smash everything.
48
00:02:33,684 --> 00:02:35,387
Yeah, as opposed to
one loose cannon.
49
00:02:35,420 --> 00:02:38,661
I feel like "loose cannon"
is never used as a positive.
50
00:02:38,694 --> 00:02:40,473
Really? Because people
call me one all the time.
51
00:02:40,497 --> 00:02:42,000
And you think
that's a compliment.
52
00:02:42,033 --> 00:02:43,536
Obviously.
53
00:02:43,570 --> 00:02:45,373
And now we know you're
not the subtext cannon.
54
00:02:45,406 --> 00:02:46,944
Said the stupid cannon.
55
00:02:46,977 --> 00:02:49,515
New plan, and I can share it.
56
00:02:49,549 --> 00:02:50,751
I'm saving the day.
57
00:02:52,420 --> 00:02:54,759
"And why does that require
you to be barefoot?"
58
00:02:54,792 --> 00:02:56,529
she asked, barely caring.
59
00:02:56,563 --> 00:02:58,801
It's not my feet.
It's my shoe.
60
00:02:58,834 --> 00:03:01,372
I made Krieger install
an emergency phone
61
00:03:01,405 --> 00:03:03,644
- the week I joined the agency.
- Ugh. Why?
62
00:03:03,677 --> 00:03:05,681
Because it felt like
something a spy would have!
63
00:03:05,714 --> 00:03:08,319
And
guess what. It is.
64
00:03:08,352 --> 00:03:09,856
Because I have it.
65
00:03:12,562 --> 00:03:14,532
Well, you're finally
using the shoe phone.
66
00:03:14,566 --> 00:03:16,737
It's about time. Does it stink?
67
00:03:16,770 --> 00:03:18,641
Shut up, Krieger.
Listen, trace my call.
68
00:03:18,674 --> 00:03:21,312
The moron Interpol
agent got us captured.
69
00:03:21,345 --> 00:03:24,653
Well, according to your shoe,
you're on an island in Greece.
70
00:03:24,686 --> 00:03:26,455
Ooh, also according
to your shoe,
71
00:03:26,488 --> 00:03:27,725
you're pigeon-toed.
72
00:03:27,758 --> 00:03:29,596
- We're in Greece?
- Jelly.
73
00:03:29,629 --> 00:03:30,765
So anything else?
74
00:03:30,798 --> 00:03:32,401
Organize a rescue, God damn it!
75
00:03:32,434 --> 00:03:33,637
Oh, shit.
76
00:03:33,670 --> 00:03:36,810
Congratulations on
your daring robberies.
77
00:03:36,843 --> 00:03:39,348
You have the attention
of the Vanguard.
78
00:03:39,381 --> 00:03:41,553
But we only need one new member,
79
00:03:41,586 --> 00:03:44,826
so we will let the tide decide.
80
00:03:44,859 --> 00:03:47,030
I'll be back in an hour.
81
00:03:47,063 --> 00:03:48,868
You forgot to say,
"Any questions?"
82
00:03:48,901 --> 00:03:50,503
To which I would say, "Lots."
83
00:03:50,536 --> 00:03:52,709
Like, do you wash these
chains between guests?
84
00:03:52,742 --> 00:03:55,948
Because salt water isn't
enough to get them clean.
85
00:03:55,981 --> 00:03:59,388
Oh, please, salt water
works fine on blood.
86
00:03:59,421 --> 00:04:01,560
It's rust you gotta worry about.
87
00:04:04,632 --> 00:04:06,703
- Ahh.
- Damn.
88
00:04:06,736 --> 00:04:08,106
Way to go, Zara.
89
00:04:08,139 --> 00:04:09,609
Ah!
90
00:04:09,642 --> 00:04:11,021
You couldn't have
done that earlier?
91
00:04:11,045 --> 00:04:12,882
Like before I got this
inversion erection?
92
00:04:12,915 --> 00:04:14,060
I don't think that's a thing.
93
00:04:14,084 --> 00:04:16,122
Then explain why I have one!
94
00:04:16,155 --> 00:04:18,393
Step three was waiting
for them to leave us alone
95
00:04:18,426 --> 00:04:20,598
so we'd have more time to
infiltrate the facility.
96
00:04:20,631 --> 00:04:22,635
There
was a step three!
97
00:04:22,668 --> 00:04:24,038
No, there wasn't!
98
00:04:24,071 --> 00:04:26,375
She's just doing things
and calling them steps.
99
00:04:26,408 --> 00:04:28,012
- Says the guy doing nothing.
- Am I?
100
00:04:28,045 --> 00:04:30,116
Or am I on step one
of kicking your ass?
101
00:04:30,149 --> 00:04:31,787
Eh, still looks like nothing.
102
00:04:31,820 --> 00:04:32,931
Do you want me to get you down?
103
00:04:32,955 --> 00:04:34,391
No. Like my erection,
104
00:04:34,424 --> 00:04:35,895
I will handle this myself.
105
00:04:35,928 --> 00:04:38,032
Look, our goal is to take
down the Vanguard leader,
106
00:04:38,065 --> 00:04:40,771
but he never leaves Vanguard's
secret island headquarters,
107
00:04:40,804 --> 00:04:43,142
and the only way to get
here was to be recruited.
108
00:04:43,175 --> 00:04:45,146
But now we're locked in
a quickly flooding cave.
109
00:04:45,179 --> 00:04:47,150
Are we?
110
00:04:47,183 --> 00:04:48,486
Was that...
111
00:04:48,519 --> 00:04:50,725
- Step four, baby.
- Not a step.
112
00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:52,169
See you after we
accomplish the mission!
113
00:04:52,193 --> 00:04:53,797
Not if I see you first
114
00:04:53,830 --> 00:04:56,937
but after I accomplish
the mission with my plan.
115
00:04:56,970 --> 00:04:57,981
Yeah, good
luck with that.
116
00:04:58,005 --> 00:05:01,045
She said with obvious jealousy.
117
00:05:01,078 --> 00:05:03,016
Okay, my plan.
118
00:05:03,049 --> 00:05:05,086
My plan,
119
00:05:05,119 --> 00:05:09,829
of which step one is...
120
00:05:09,862 --> 00:05:12,869
Utilize
a friendly turtle!
121
00:05:12,902 --> 00:05:15,507
Which takes us to step two.
122
00:05:15,540 --> 00:05:17,177
Thoughts?
123
00:05:17,210 --> 00:05:18,914
I've got good news
and bad news, people.
124
00:05:18,947 --> 00:05:21,185
What
about spooky news?
125
00:05:21,218 --> 00:05:23,657
Ooh, you never hear
about spooky news.
126
00:05:23,690 --> 00:05:25,962
- Right?
- Ugh, tell me the bad news.
127
00:05:25,995 --> 00:05:28,166
Well, the good news is, the
shoe phone worked great.
128
00:05:28,199 --> 00:05:30,136
And it gives me hope
for my next invention,
129
00:05:30,169 --> 00:05:31,907
the brain parasite phone.
130
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:33,610
Krieger, the bad news.
131
00:05:33,643 --> 00:05:35,080
- The team was captured.
- What?
132
00:05:35,113 --> 00:05:36,850
Oh, wait, there's
more good news.
133
00:05:36,883 --> 00:05:38,086
They're in Greece.
134
00:05:38,119 --> 00:05:39,756
How is that good news?
135
00:05:39,789 --> 00:05:41,593
Duh. It's olive season.
136
00:05:41,626 --> 00:05:42,829
Okay, we have to rescue them.
137
00:05:42,862 --> 00:05:44,007
You're all back on field duty.
138
00:05:44,031 --> 00:05:45,801
Aww. Okay.
139
00:05:45,834 --> 00:05:47,839
Ugh, I guess I'll get my knives.
140
00:05:47,872 --> 00:05:50,010
Wait, how are we gonna get
there on such short notice?
141
00:05:50,043 --> 00:05:51,880
You gave away the private plane.
142
00:05:51,913 --> 00:05:54,184
I gave away Robert's plane
because we don't need it
143
00:05:54,217 --> 00:05:56,188
or him or his stupid money.
144
00:05:56,221 --> 00:05:58,159
There are other ways to travel.
145
00:05:58,192 --> 00:06:00,497
Four to Athens, please.
146
00:06:00,530 --> 00:06:02,034
No, I don't wanna
check my knives.
147
00:06:02,067 --> 00:06:05,206
I wanna carry them on the
plane like a normal person!
148
00:06:05,239 --> 00:06:07,645
Hey, Cyril, they still allow
149
00:06:07,678 --> 00:06:09,949
biological weapons
on planes, right?
150
00:06:09,982 --> 00:06:11,653
What? No!
151
00:06:11,686 --> 00:06:13,189
Oh, really?
152
00:06:13,222 --> 00:06:14,693
Well, I'll be right back.
153
00:06:17,932 --> 00:06:19,168
I gotta say, Shelly,
154
00:06:19,201 --> 00:06:20,971
for a slow,
inevitable death jail,
155
00:06:21,004 --> 00:06:22,775
this sea cave is
pretty peaceful.
156
00:06:24,077 --> 00:06:25,648
But a way out would be nice.
157
00:06:25,681 --> 00:06:26,950
Where are the others?
158
00:06:26,983 --> 00:06:28,119
Sharks?
159
00:06:28,152 --> 00:06:29,956
There are no sharks in Greece.
160
00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:31,593
There's sharks in the ocean.
161
00:06:31,626 --> 00:06:33,062
All the oceans are connected.
162
00:06:33,095 --> 00:06:34,775
You're telling me a shark
couldn't get to Greece?
163
00:06:34,799 --> 00:06:37,972
And get into this
particular sea cave?
164
00:06:38,005 --> 00:06:39,676
Yeah, you've got a point there.
165
00:06:44,017 --> 00:06:45,654
Relax. I'm just trying
to get your keys.
166
00:06:45,687 --> 00:06:47,558
But if you keep struggling...
167
00:06:49,762 --> 00:06:51,767
Hang on. Did you
already drown?
168
00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:53,036
It's been, like, ten seconds.
169
00:06:53,069 --> 00:06:54,873
Uh, note to Vanguard:
170
00:06:54,906 --> 00:06:56,652
the guy guarding the water
jail should probably have
171
00:06:56,676 --> 00:06:57,756
bigger lungs than a canary.
172
00:06:59,047 --> 00:07:00,651
Take care, Shelly.
173
00:07:00,684 --> 00:07:03,757
And sorry for killing
that guy in your cave.
174
00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:08,199
Vanguard leader,
come out to play!
175
00:07:08,232 --> 00:07:09,602
Move, asshole.
176
00:07:09,635 --> 00:07:11,238
Oh, hey! You didn't drown.
177
00:07:11,271 --> 00:07:13,076
And I drowned someone else.
178
00:07:13,109 --> 00:07:15,815
It's called going
above and beyond, Zara.
179
00:07:15,848 --> 00:07:17,618
Well, we're on step eight.
180
00:07:17,651 --> 00:07:19,589
See this guy's
face? Step seven.
181
00:07:19,622 --> 00:07:21,660
Well, call me Saul of Tarsus.
182
00:07:21,693 --> 00:07:23,697
Why, are you blinding
magicians now?
183
00:07:23,730 --> 00:07:25,768
No, you I'm a convert!
184
00:07:25,801 --> 00:07:27,070
This woman has a plan.
185
00:07:27,103 --> 00:07:28,874
She's like you, Archer,
186
00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:31,880
if all the chaos and explosions
and deaths were intentional.
187
00:07:31,913 --> 00:07:33,550
Everything I do is intentional.
188
00:07:33,583 --> 00:07:34,862
Remember when I
crashed a space shuttle
189
00:07:34,886 --> 00:07:36,021
and Ray was paralyzed?
190
00:07:36,054 --> 00:07:37,792
- Vaguely.
- Exactly.
191
00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:39,027
"Exactly" what?
192
00:07:39,060 --> 00:07:41,098
- He's even better now.
- Says who?
193
00:07:41,131 --> 00:07:42,944
Well, if you're not, you
should've said something.
194
00:07:42,968 --> 00:07:45,674
I complain literally
all the time!
195
00:07:45,707 --> 00:07:47,879
Anyway, I'm gonna keep
going on with the mission.
196
00:07:47,912 --> 00:07:49,047
Ha!
197
00:07:50,851 --> 00:07:52,254
Tell me where your boss is,
198
00:07:52,287 --> 00:07:54,826
or I will give
you a bright idea.
199
00:07:54,859 --> 00:07:56,730
Because of the light
bulb in his brain.
200
00:07:56,763 --> 00:07:58,934
- Nice.
- What boss?
201
00:07:58,967 --> 00:08:01,105
Your boss. The leader.
202
00:08:01,138 --> 00:08:02,909
Of the Vanguard.
203
00:08:02,942 --> 00:08:04,879
The Vanguard has no leader.
204
00:08:04,912 --> 00:08:06,650
What step is learning
205
00:08:06,683 --> 00:08:07,818
your plan doesn't work?
206
00:08:09,287 --> 00:08:11,291
But obviously, this is
bad for the mission.
207
00:08:15,801 --> 00:08:17,170
Uh, getting dark in here.
208
00:08:17,203 --> 00:08:19,642
Yeah, two ways.
209
00:08:19,675 --> 00:08:21,613
What do you mean the
Vanguard has no leader?
210
00:08:21,646 --> 00:08:23,617
We're nonhierarchical.
211
00:08:23,650 --> 00:08:24,886
Everyone is the leader.
212
00:08:24,919 --> 00:08:26,255
To wipe out the Vanguard,
213
00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:28,760
you have to kill all 61 members.
214
00:08:28,793 --> 00:08:31,298
Technically 60. I
accidentally drowned a guy.
215
00:08:31,331 --> 00:08:33,770
Maybe you know him? Bald?
Lungs like a baby bird?
216
00:08:36,776 --> 00:08:39,148
Damn! And damn.
217
00:08:39,181 --> 00:08:41,786
- 59. So we're tied.
- Not for long.
218
00:08:41,819 --> 00:08:43,991
- It's not a contest!
- But it could be.
219
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,928
We've got a lot of
Vanguard to take out.
220
00:08:45,961 --> 00:08:48,399
And an odd number. You
know, to avoid ties.
221
00:08:48,432 --> 00:08:50,203
Yeah, 'cause that's the
most important thing
222
00:08:50,236 --> 00:08:51,673
in a murder contest.
223
00:08:51,706 --> 00:08:53,677
The murders were accidents, Ray.
224
00:08:53,710 --> 00:08:56,182
- This will be more like...
- A concussion contest.
225
00:08:56,215 --> 00:08:58,319
Exactly, but never
finish my sentence again.
226
00:08:58,352 --> 00:08:59,756
It's on.
227
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,067
Whoever knocks out
the most guards
228
00:09:01,091 --> 00:09:02,762
is officially the
loosest cannon.
229
00:09:02,795 --> 00:09:04,766
- Loser is...
- A normal lady cannon?
230
00:09:04,799 --> 00:09:06,335
If that's the label you prefer.
231
00:09:08,439 --> 00:09:09,909
Wait, you're okay?
232
00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,084
Nope. So that's two me, and...
233
00:09:14,117 --> 00:09:15,688
All the rest me!
234
00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:18,092
Oh, good, another
mission based on spite.
235
00:09:18,125 --> 00:09:19,896
I know!
236
00:09:19,929 --> 00:09:21,432
Wait, was that sarcasm?
237
00:09:21,465 --> 00:09:22,835
I'm thrilled.
238
00:09:22,868 --> 00:09:24,839
A rescue mission on
a commercial plane
239
00:09:24,872 --> 00:09:26,108
with checked guns
240
00:09:26,141 --> 00:09:27,678
to save agents who
failed to accomplish
241
00:09:27,711 --> 00:09:29,214
our first mission for Interpol,
242
00:09:29,247 --> 00:09:31,887
thus putting the entire future
of this agency in jeopardy.
243
00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:33,422
Also, the moron in front of me
244
00:09:33,455 --> 00:09:35,326
leaned his seat
all the way back!
245
00:09:35,359 --> 00:09:38,165
Hey, I'm just exercising
my right to recline.
246
00:09:38,198 --> 00:09:40,069
And your right to suck.
247
00:09:40,102 --> 00:09:41,773
I am calling the
flight attendant.
248
00:09:41,806 --> 00:09:44,378
Fine, go crying to your sky mom.
249
00:09:44,411 --> 00:09:46,124
I just wanted to do things
differently, you know,
250
00:09:46,148 --> 00:09:47,393
be the steady hand
in the office,
251
00:09:47,417 --> 00:09:48,820
but instead, here I am,
252
00:09:48,853 --> 00:09:50,198
first mission in charge,
back in the field.
253
00:09:50,222 --> 00:09:51,458
Maybe I can't leave.
254
00:09:51,491 --> 00:09:53,204
I mean, Archer doesn't
work well on his own.
255
00:09:53,228 --> 00:09:54,966
- Are you okay?
- No.
256
00:09:54,999 --> 00:09:57,137
My submarine has
bigger seats than this!
257
00:09:57,170 --> 00:09:59,976
I asked you to charter
us a private plane.
258
00:10:00,009 --> 00:10:02,214
And I thought flying
commercial would be funny!
259
00:10:02,247 --> 00:10:04,218
They actually give you peanuts.
260
00:10:04,251 --> 00:10:06,255
I thought that was some
kind of weird joke.
261
00:10:06,288 --> 00:10:08,392
Five perfectly good bioweapons
262
00:10:08,425 --> 00:10:10,129
thrown in a public trash can.
263
00:10:10,162 --> 00:10:12,735
They should be in a
terrorist's trash can!
264
00:10:12,768 --> 00:10:15,340
Stop saying those
words on a plane.
265
00:10:15,373 --> 00:10:17,077
Sir, I'm gonna need you
266
00:10:17,110 --> 00:10:19,014
to come with me to
the back of the plane.
267
00:10:19,047 --> 00:10:20,951
Ooh, upgrade.
268
00:10:23,155 --> 00:10:25,894
I'll save your
peanuts for later.
269
00:10:29,067 --> 00:10:31,038
Oh, I'm sorry. Were you
gonna knock him out?
270
00:10:31,071 --> 00:10:32,440
No.
271
00:10:32,473 --> 00:10:34,511
I was going to knock him out.
272
00:10:34,545 --> 00:10:36,215
So you won't mind
if I go after...
273
00:10:39,054 --> 00:10:41,225
The slowest, sickest guard
on some future mission?
274
00:10:41,258 --> 00:10:43,897
Not at all.
275
00:10:43,930 --> 00:10:46,302
You know, in a weird,
accidental way,
276
00:10:46,335 --> 00:10:47,872
they're kind of a good team.
277
00:11:00,363 --> 00:11:03,336
Yeah, they're a regular
Farrell and Balanchine.
278
00:11:03,369 --> 00:11:05,473
Yeah, including the
awkward age gap.
279
00:11:06,976 --> 00:11:09,181
Call it a tie?
280
00:11:09,214 --> 00:11:11,018
Hey, he was already unconscious!
281
00:11:11,051 --> 00:11:12,922
And excessive force
is the tiebreaker.
282
00:11:12,955 --> 00:11:15,460
Point Archer, which means...
283
00:11:15,493 --> 00:11:18,767
I'm winning.
284
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:22,140
Damn, you guys have a cafeteria?
285
00:11:22,173 --> 00:11:24,946
We have to
pay for our meals.
286
00:11:24,979 --> 00:11:27,083
I'm just saying, if
the choice was between
287
00:11:27,116 --> 00:11:29,555
eating this meal and
the plane crashing,
288
00:11:29,588 --> 00:11:31,826
I would choose the plane crash.
289
00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:35,500
The chicken is very good.
My compliments to the chef.
290
00:11:35,533 --> 00:11:37,972
Any chance the captain
could speed this flight up?
291
00:11:38,005 --> 00:11:39,307
We're in a bit of a rush.
292
00:11:41,144 --> 00:11:43,449
Maybe stepping up to run the
agency was the wrong move.
293
00:11:43,482 --> 00:11:45,062
I mean, I thought being
in the office would be
294
00:11:45,086 --> 00:11:46,556
better for AJ, but
not if I end up
295
00:11:46,589 --> 00:11:49,094
in the field every mission,
and Cheryl, I need you to stop.
296
00:11:49,127 --> 00:11:51,165
I need more room!
297
00:11:51,198 --> 00:11:52,935
This is like a plane for bugs!
298
00:11:52,968 --> 00:11:54,839
Ma'am, just a reminder
299
00:11:54,872 --> 00:11:57,177
that the captain has turned
on the fasten seat belt sign.
300
00:11:57,210 --> 00:11:59,381
Just a reminder
that I don't care.
301
00:11:59,414 --> 00:12:01,586
Ma'am, I need you to calm down.
302
00:12:01,619 --> 00:12:03,990
You are alarming the
other passengers.
303
00:12:04,023 --> 00:12:05,193
Well, they should be alarmed,
304
00:12:05,226 --> 00:12:06,204
because I'm gonna buy this plane
305
00:12:06,228 --> 00:12:07,339
and crash it into the ground
306
00:12:07,363 --> 00:12:09,101
where all the other
poor people live.
307
00:12:09,134 --> 00:12:12,006
The sky is for the
rich, you fucking bugs!
308
00:12:24,264 --> 00:12:26,068
25.
309
00:12:26,101 --> 00:12:27,270
21.
310
00:12:27,303 --> 00:12:29,341
26 and 27.
311
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,345
Ugh, 21 again.
312
00:12:31,378 --> 00:12:34,017
Get your own.
313
00:12:34,050 --> 00:12:36,890
I'm not the one who needs
to lay off the carbs.
314
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:39,027
Ha! Oh, now we're
body-shaming?
315
00:12:39,060 --> 00:12:42,033
Call it body-constructive
criticism.
316
00:12:42,066 --> 00:12:44,504
Same side, assholes!
317
00:12:46,341 --> 00:12:47,845
- Pam, stop.
- What?
318
00:12:47,878 --> 00:12:49,090
We need an odd number of guards.
319
00:12:49,114 --> 00:12:51,251
If you knock one out,
Zara and I might tie.
320
00:12:51,284 --> 00:12:53,857
Come on. Seriously?
321
00:12:56,061 --> 00:12:58,900
Hey, uh, before we do
this, one question.
322
00:12:58,933 --> 00:13:00,536
Is anyone out sick today?
323
00:13:04,678 --> 00:13:07,383
What is happening? We
landed an hour ago.
324
00:13:07,416 --> 00:13:08,519
Excuse me.
325
00:13:08,553 --> 00:13:10,289
Lana, we're not supposed
326
00:13:10,322 --> 00:13:12,460
to take off our seat belts
until we're at the gate.
327
00:13:12,493 --> 00:13:13,930
And the gate is right there.
328
00:13:13,963 --> 00:13:15,543
Do they not know this
is a rescue mission?
329
00:13:15,567 --> 00:13:18,339
On a commercial flight?
Huh. How would they not?
330
00:13:18,372 --> 00:13:19,609
Are they leaving?
331
00:13:19,642 --> 00:13:21,478
Hey! Hey!
332
00:13:21,511 --> 00:13:23,583
You have a plane
full of people here!
333
00:13:23,616 --> 00:13:26,121
Ma'am, it's not
yet safe to stand.
334
00:13:26,154 --> 00:13:28,192
Oh, not safe? Why?
335
00:13:28,225 --> 00:13:30,931
Are we in danger of running
into one of the zero employees
336
00:13:30,964 --> 00:13:32,167
currently helping out there?
337
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:34,672
- Ma'am...
- Oh, do not "ma'am" me.
338
00:13:34,705 --> 00:13:36,943
I have jumped out of
planes over war zones
339
00:13:36,976 --> 00:13:38,914
with a parachute
made from a negligee.
340
00:13:38,947 --> 00:13:40,459
I think I'll be fine
crossing the tarmac
341
00:13:40,483 --> 00:13:42,420
at Baklava
International Airport.
342
00:13:42,453 --> 00:13:43,966
Don't you dare come
at me with that ta...
343
00:13:50,002 --> 00:13:52,708
Ah, will you look at
that? An eye massager.
344
00:13:52,741 --> 00:13:55,547
What'll they think of next?
345
00:14:04,130 --> 00:14:05,166
How many is that?
346
00:14:05,199 --> 00:14:07,237
Uh, little busy avoiding death
347
00:14:07,270 --> 00:14:08,607
and not being able
to fight back.
348
00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:11,579
Well, I count 30!
349
00:14:11,612 --> 00:14:12,948
Same.
350
00:14:14,417 --> 00:14:15,988
Ah! Damn it!
351
00:14:17,658 --> 00:14:20,196
- Seriously?
- That face belongs to my fist!
352
00:14:20,229 --> 00:14:21,465
I could also just leave.
353
00:14:21,498 --> 00:14:22,500
No!
354
00:14:27,276 --> 00:14:30,316
50 on Archer, but 20 on Zara
to break one of his arms.
355
00:14:30,349 --> 00:14:32,621
Ugh, who puts olives in lasagna?
356
00:14:32,654 --> 00:14:33,657
They are in season.
357
00:14:37,698 --> 00:14:39,367
Enough.
358
00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:41,071
Uh, can whatever this is wait
359
00:14:41,104 --> 00:14:43,008
until I knock out
this terrified man?
360
00:14:43,041 --> 00:14:44,545
I'm afraid not.
361
00:14:44,578 --> 00:14:47,383
I'm the Warden, leader
of the Vanguard.
362
00:14:47,416 --> 00:14:49,154
- Wha...
- Ugh!
363
00:14:49,187 --> 00:14:51,158
Sorry, it's not you.
364
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:53,596
It's just, now there
is an even number.
365
00:14:58,338 --> 00:15:01,411
Look at us. Tied
with our own zips.
366
00:15:01,444 --> 00:15:03,583
Ugh, don't remind
me... of the tie.
367
00:15:03,616 --> 00:15:05,286
It's 30 to 30.
368
00:15:05,319 --> 00:15:07,432
Is that seriously what you're
thinking about right now?
369
00:15:07,456 --> 00:15:09,327
I mean... yes?
370
00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:11,198
You know, I'm beginning to think
371
00:15:11,231 --> 00:15:14,037
you're not aspiring
new recruits.
372
00:15:14,070 --> 00:15:16,141
We are, but she's a spy.
373
00:15:16,174 --> 00:15:18,078
Ugh, we're all spies.
374
00:15:18,111 --> 00:15:19,414
Is this still part of your plan?
375
00:15:19,447 --> 00:15:21,553
"Plan" in massive air quotes.
376
00:15:21,586 --> 00:15:24,291
Pretty sure y'all's little
competition derailed the plan.
377
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:26,028
- Or did it?
- It did.
378
00:15:26,061 --> 00:15:27,463
- I derailed you.
- Ha!
379
00:15:27,496 --> 00:15:29,467
So you admit there
was a plan to derail.
380
00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:31,238
No! Uh, shit. Hang on, I...
381
00:15:33,075 --> 00:15:34,511
Do I have your attention?
382
00:15:34,545 --> 00:15:35,581
Not really, no.
383
00:15:37,049 --> 00:15:38,194
Have you ever heard
that you catch
384
00:15:38,218 --> 00:15:39,555
more flies with honey?
385
00:15:39,588 --> 00:15:41,593
Oh, right in the same hole!
386
00:15:41,626 --> 00:15:43,329
Probably just luck.
387
00:15:43,362 --> 00:15:44,431
Oh!
388
00:15:44,464 --> 00:15:46,201
It's not luck.
389
00:15:46,234 --> 00:15:48,472
Same hole again.
This guy's good.
390
00:15:48,505 --> 00:15:50,509
Okay. You have his attention.
391
00:15:50,542 --> 00:15:53,115
Still can't believe you're
not nonhierarchical.
392
00:15:53,148 --> 00:15:55,186
A lie for my protection.
393
00:15:55,219 --> 00:15:57,323
If no one believes
there's a leader,
394
00:15:57,356 --> 00:15:59,494
there's no leader to find.
395
00:15:59,527 --> 00:16:01,365
But, you know, someone
has to write the checks
396
00:16:01,398 --> 00:16:03,135
and decide which
holidays to take off.
397
00:16:03,168 --> 00:16:04,672
Oh, we've got someone like that.
398
00:16:04,705 --> 00:16:06,375
She's, uh, new at the job,
399
00:16:06,408 --> 00:16:08,479
but feel confident
saying she's bad at it.
400
00:16:08,512 --> 00:16:10,584
It's certainly not going to help
401
00:16:10,617 --> 00:16:13,355
that she's lost an entire team.
402
00:16:13,388 --> 00:16:15,661
What?
What? What? What?
403
00:16:15,694 --> 00:16:18,365
Why tie us up if you're just
gonna shoot us right way?
404
00:16:18,398 --> 00:16:20,771
Why give 60 men concussions?
405
00:16:20,804 --> 00:16:23,810
You have your process,
and I have mine.
406
00:16:23,843 --> 00:16:26,348
Wait! Are you really the
leader of the Vanguard?
407
00:16:26,381 --> 00:16:27,685
- Yes.
- But really?
408
00:16:27,718 --> 00:16:28,820
Really, really?
409
00:16:28,853 --> 00:16:30,657
- Yes.
- Great.
410
00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:33,563
What the hell just happened?
411
00:16:33,596 --> 00:16:35,533
- Is that...
- Step 12.
412
00:16:35,567 --> 00:16:36,836
Archer has a shoe phone.
413
00:16:36,869 --> 00:16:38,305
I have a shoe gun.
414
00:16:38,338 --> 00:16:39,642
Seems more useful.
415
00:16:39,675 --> 00:16:43,382
Oh, also, that's
31 to 30, so I win.
416
00:16:43,415 --> 00:16:44,785
Step 12?
417
00:16:44,818 --> 00:16:47,791
I thought we were
still on step nine!
418
00:16:47,824 --> 00:16:50,831
Zara, I'm gonna tell you
what I told the dry cleaner
419
00:16:50,864 --> 00:16:53,168
who got yuzu off my yukata:
420
00:16:53,201 --> 00:16:54,404
you might be a genius.
421
00:16:54,437 --> 00:16:55,807
Yeah, you might...
422
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,319
Warden down.
423
00:16:57,343 --> 00:17:00,817
Vanguard base to
self-destruct in five minutes.
424
00:17:00,850 --> 00:17:03,857
The base explodes
if the Warden dies?
425
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:07,196
Does the new leader have to
build a completely new base?
426
00:17:07,229 --> 00:17:08,600
I'm a little more concerned
427
00:17:08,633 --> 00:17:10,436
about how we're
all tied to chairs
428
00:17:10,469 --> 00:17:12,574
in a building that's
about to explode.
429
00:17:12,607 --> 00:17:14,812
So, genius, what part
of the plan is this?
430
00:17:14,845 --> 00:17:16,281
Technically, the
plan only went up
431
00:17:16,314 --> 00:17:17,818
to killing the leader
of the Vanguard,
432
00:17:17,851 --> 00:17:21,291
so I guess the plan is to
blow up in five minutes.
433
00:17:21,324 --> 00:17:22,561
New plan.
434
00:17:22,594 --> 00:17:24,665
Hope that the shoe
phones are waterproof.
435
00:17:27,436 --> 00:17:28,873
- Archer.
- You'll have to speak up.
436
00:17:28,906 --> 00:17:31,311
I'm calling on a
long-distance shoe.
437
00:17:31,344 --> 00:17:32,590
We'll be there
in five minutes.
438
00:17:32,614 --> 00:17:33,859
Although,
full disclosure,
439
00:17:33,883 --> 00:17:35,453
the airline lost our bags,
440
00:17:35,486 --> 00:17:37,891
so we don't have any
weapons or beach clothes.
441
00:17:37,924 --> 00:17:39,762
Uh, additional full disclosure,
442
00:17:39,795 --> 00:17:41,465
we're blowing up
in four minutes.
443
00:17:41,498 --> 00:17:42,500
- What?
- Okay, tell them
444
00:17:42,533 --> 00:17:43,737
we have one knife.
445
00:17:43,770 --> 00:17:45,306
Oh, where did you get that?
446
00:17:45,339 --> 00:17:47,377
- Uh, I brought it?
- On the plane?
447
00:17:47,410 --> 00:17:48,580
It's ceramic.
448
00:17:48,613 --> 00:17:50,349
Lana, in
case we explode,
449
00:17:50,382 --> 00:17:52,721
I want you to know,
I've never respected...
450
00:17:52,754 --> 00:17:54,324
Archer? Archer.
451
00:17:54,357 --> 00:17:55,727
The battery must be dead.
452
00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:57,865
I told him I could've
fit more batteries
453
00:17:57,898 --> 00:17:59,568
in a kitten heel.
454
00:18:00,336 --> 00:18:02,574
On the bright side, now
that we're tied to chairs
455
00:18:02,607 --> 00:18:04,177
instead of a cave ceiling,
456
00:18:04,210 --> 00:18:06,883
I can move close
enough to do this.
457
00:18:06,916 --> 00:18:09,487
Do what?
Kick the air near me?
458
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:10,857
You know that wasn't my intent!
459
00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:12,360
Fight toward an exit.
460
00:18:12,393 --> 00:18:14,197
We've got three minutes.
461
00:18:15,499 --> 00:18:17,236
All you'd have to
do is sit here,
462
00:18:17,269 --> 00:18:20,644
and you'd never have to deal
with any of them ever again.
463
00:18:22,379 --> 00:18:24,451
And miss all that good TV?
464
00:18:24,484 --> 00:18:25,921
No.
465
00:18:29,427 --> 00:18:31,264
Whoa!
466
00:18:49,735 --> 00:18:51,238
Just let me go first!
467
00:18:51,271 --> 00:18:52,708
I'd rather die.
468
00:18:52,741 --> 00:18:53,910
You're about to.
469
00:18:53,943 --> 00:18:55,814
You don't know my
explosion tolerance!
470
00:18:55,847 --> 00:18:57,617
Grudge later, you dicks.
471
00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:02,694
Oh, thank God. I'm
so glad to see you.
472
00:19:04,832 --> 00:19:07,503
31! We tied.
473
00:19:09,675 --> 00:19:11,813
Oh, thank God.
We're not too late.
474
00:19:13,850 --> 00:19:16,589
Not too late for what, s'mores?
475
00:19:16,622 --> 00:19:18,459
Oh, my God.
476
00:19:18,492 --> 00:19:20,429
They're... they're gone.
477
00:19:20,462 --> 00:19:22,300
They're... they're really gone.
478
00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:24,437
If we can find even
a shred of DNA,
479
00:19:24,470 --> 00:19:26,408
I can bring them back.
480
00:19:26,441 --> 00:19:27,878
In the bodies of dogs.
481
00:19:27,911 --> 00:19:29,514
Any dog you want.
482
00:19:29,548 --> 00:19:31,686
Collies, Labradors, pugs.
483
00:19:31,719 --> 00:19:32,855
Look!
484
00:19:43,576 --> 00:19:45,412
How do I keep forgetting
I can do that?
485
00:19:45,445 --> 00:19:46,625
Because you don't want
to admit to yourself
486
00:19:46,649 --> 00:19:47,885
that you're an abomination?
487
00:19:47,918 --> 00:19:49,955
Oh, there it is.
488
00:19:49,988 --> 00:19:51,959
- Lana Kane.
- Zara Kahn.
489
00:19:51,992 --> 00:19:53,830
So the leader of the
Vanguard is dead.
490
00:19:53,863 --> 00:19:55,466
Their facility is destroyed.
491
00:19:55,499 --> 00:19:56,778
I believe Interpol
would consider that
492
00:19:56,802 --> 00:19:57,905
a mission accomplished.
493
00:19:57,938 --> 00:19:59,575
Congratulations.
494
00:19:59,608 --> 00:20:02,548
And better luck next
time, lady cannon.
495
00:20:02,581 --> 00:20:04,819
Uh, more like same
luck this time.
496
00:20:04,852 --> 00:20:05,996
I got the final
guard on the way out,
497
00:20:06,020 --> 00:20:07,991
which means we tied.
What do you say to that?
498
00:20:08,024 --> 00:20:10,564
Step 5B: provide a
metaphorical fig leaf
499
00:20:10,597 --> 00:20:12,568
for your limp, wilting ego.
500
00:20:12,601 --> 00:20:15,306
There were sub-steps?
501
00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:17,376
There were sub-steps.
502
00:20:17,409 --> 00:20:19,480
Uh, what's happening
on this mission?
503
00:20:19,513 --> 00:20:22,019
A commercial airline
made a powerful enemy.
504
00:20:22,052 --> 00:20:23,756
Your attitude was
tanking the mission,
505
00:20:23,789 --> 00:20:25,459
so I gave you a goal
to get you in line.
506
00:20:25,492 --> 00:20:26,929
It's not a contest!
507
00:20:26,962 --> 00:20:28,766
But it could be.
508
00:20:28,799 --> 00:20:30,879
You thought you were proving
you were a loose cannon.
509
00:20:30,904 --> 00:20:33,776
I had you tied down
the whole time.
510
00:20:33,809 --> 00:20:36,481
No, that's... I... this doesn't
make you the loose cannon!
511
00:20:36,514 --> 00:20:37,985
Oh, I'm not a loose cannon.
512
00:20:38,018 --> 00:20:41,057
I'm more a shotgun
filled with scalpels.
513
00:20:41,090 --> 00:20:42,460
Ooh, I'm getting one of those.
514
00:20:42,493 --> 00:20:44,899
How have I not
made one of those?
515
00:20:44,932 --> 00:20:48,472
Hmm, maybe I don't need to go
back in the field after all.
516
00:20:48,505 --> 00:20:49,651
How would you like a new job?
517
00:20:49,675 --> 00:20:50,877
Would I have to relocate?
518
00:20:50,910 --> 00:20:52,781
- I'm based in Europe.
- Oh. Uh...
519
00:20:52,814 --> 00:20:54,952
And if I do relocate, is
there a moving stipend?
520
00:20:54,985 --> 00:20:56,756
Also, am I under
a fixed contract?
521
00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:58,492
Who deals with my
migration status?
522
00:20:58,525 --> 00:21:00,362
And if I quit, do I get
to keep the stipend?
523
00:21:00,395 --> 00:21:01,899
Uh, sure that we can do, um...
524
00:21:01,932 --> 00:21:04,370
No! I'm fucking with you.
525
00:21:04,403 --> 00:21:05,907
I've been looking
for a new challenge,
526
00:21:05,940 --> 00:21:08,120
and you seem like a better boss
than those Interpol pricks.
527
00:21:08,144 --> 00:21:10,684
But I want what
Archer makes, plus $1.
528
00:21:10,717 --> 00:21:12,520
Wha... on what basis?
529
00:21:12,554 --> 00:21:14,524
On the basis that I was
the best at Interpol.
530
00:21:14,558 --> 00:21:16,829
I'll be the best at
whatever you guys are.
531
00:21:16,862 --> 00:21:19,802
- Deal. You are hired.
- What?
532
00:21:19,835 --> 00:21:21,706
You know, I sort of
liked flying commercial.
533
00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:23,576
There was more bondage
than I expected.
534
00:21:23,609 --> 00:21:24,912
What just happened?
535
00:21:24,945 --> 00:21:26,949
I think you just
got a new partner
536
00:21:26,982 --> 00:21:29,387
who technically
makes more than you.
537
00:21:29,420 --> 00:21:30,690
Like I care.
538
00:21:30,723 --> 00:21:32,102
Cyril, do you think
she knows I don't care?
539
00:21:32,126 --> 00:21:33,095
I don't know.
540
00:21:33,128 --> 00:21:34,097
Well, she needs to,
541
00:21:34,130 --> 00:21:36,569
because I don't.
542
00:21:36,602 --> 00:21:38,105
Zara?
543
00:21:38,138 --> 00:21:39,808
Zara?
544
00:21:39,841 --> 00:21:41,812
Zara!
545
00:22:03,622 --> 00:22:06,527
Made in Georgia.
38812
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof