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1
00:00:32,410 --> 00:00:34,310
Demonic voice:
I am Satan,
2
00:00:34,330 --> 00:00:36,379
King of all
that is evil.
3
00:00:36,409 --> 00:00:38,267
Man: In the name
of God almighty,
4
00:00:38,297 --> 00:00:40,317
I cast ye
back to hell!
5
00:00:40,337 --> 00:00:42,688
I command
thy putrid spirit
6
00:00:42,708 --> 00:00:45,275
Be banished from
this child's soul.
7
00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:47,195
Never!
The girl is mine!
8
00:00:47,225 --> 00:00:48,865
Mine, mine, mine,
mine, mine, mine...
9
00:00:48,885 --> 00:00:51,355
Don't you stick your
tongue out at me!
10
00:00:51,375 --> 00:00:53,723
Aw, I'll do what
I damn well please.
11
00:00:53,743 --> 00:00:55,162
Stop your cursing!
12
00:00:55,182 --> 00:00:57,083
Make me, slime ball.
13
00:00:57,103 --> 00:00:58,843
I am a priest!
14
00:00:58,862 --> 00:01:00,312
Oh, pardon me...
15
00:01:00,342 --> 00:01:02,561
Your reverend
and holy slime ball.
16
00:01:02,581 --> 00:01:04,600
How about these, pops?
17
00:01:04,630 --> 00:01:07,160
I command you,
close your blouse!
18
00:01:07,190 --> 00:01:08,957
Watch this, bud.
19
00:01:08,977 --> 00:01:11,827
Put down
that crucifix!
20
00:01:11,857 --> 00:01:15,008
Ohh, I love it!
21
00:01:15,028 --> 00:01:18,046
Stop it!
I command you!
22
00:01:18,066 --> 00:01:19,675
Be gone, Satan!
23
00:01:19,695 --> 00:01:22,845
Be gone, demon!
24
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:26,402
Satan: No!
25
00:01:26,412 --> 00:01:30,683
Child, crying:
Mother! Mother!
26
00:01:30,703 --> 00:01:32,960
Mother!
27
00:01:32,980 --> 00:01:35,380
Father, is it
all over?
28
00:01:35,410 --> 00:01:37,270
Is Nancy
all right?
29
00:01:40,658 --> 00:01:42,038
Bless you.
30
00:01:42,068 --> 00:01:43,957
Father, how can I
possibly thank you?
31
00:01:53,585 --> 00:01:54,905
Satan: Mayii?
32
00:01:55,105 --> 00:01:56,115
Aah!
33
00:01:57,542 --> 00:01:58,482
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
34
00:01:58,512 --> 00:02:00,853
Aah! Ha ha ha!
35
00:02:00,873 --> 00:02:02,332
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
36
00:02:02,352 --> 00:02:04,951
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
37
00:02:04,981 --> 00:02:06,490
Ew! Ooh!
38
00:02:06,510 --> 00:02:07,890
Ooh, ooh!
Aah!
39
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:08,890
Aah!
40
00:02:14,698 --> 00:02:16,407
Ooh.
41
00:02:20,018 --> 00:02:22,875
Satan:
I'll be back!
42
00:02:22,895 --> 00:02:24,915
Ooh!
43
00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:26,845
Oh, shit.
44
00:02:30,063 --> 00:02:32,052
Ooh.
45
00:02:41,740 --> 00:02:44,627
I was minding my business
46
00:02:44,647 --> 00:02:45,907
when the devil
walked in on me
47
00:02:45,937 --> 00:02:47,347
oh, no
48
00:02:47,377 --> 00:02:48,437
waving his hands said
49
00:02:48,457 --> 00:02:50,237
"come on, just follow me"
50
00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:52,148
so I, I looked him
in the eye
51
00:02:52,168 --> 00:02:53,526
and I showed him
to the door
52
00:02:53,556 --> 00:02:54,715
oh, no
53
00:02:54,735 --> 00:02:56,145
and I told him
to get lost
54
00:02:56,165 --> 00:02:57,755
'cause I've been there
once before
55
00:02:57,775 --> 00:03:00,652
don't want to be
re-re-re-repossessed
56
00:03:02,482 --> 00:03:04,753
re-re-re-repossessed
57
00:03:06,313 --> 00:03:08,573
re-re-re-repossessed
58
00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:11,930
re-re-re-repossessed
59
00:03:18,248 --> 00:03:20,948
now I've... I've been invited
60
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:23,347
to the neverland
called hell
61
00:03:23,377 --> 00:03:24,785
it's much too warm for me
62
00:03:24,815 --> 00:03:26,706
don't like the heat
that well
63
00:03:26,736 --> 00:03:28,495
and I looked fear
in the face
64
00:03:28,525 --> 00:03:31,225
so many times before
65
00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:34,232
and that's why I'm so fast
to show him to the door
66
00:03:34,252 --> 00:03:36,793
don't want to be
re-re-re-repossessed
67
00:03:36,813 --> 00:03:39,193
get on out...
Get on out of the door
68
00:03:39,213 --> 00:03:40,941
re-re-re-repossessed
69
00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:42,550
get on out...
Get on out of the door
70
00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:45,560
re-re-re-repossessed
71
00:03:45,580 --> 00:03:47,000
oh, no
72
00:03:47,020 --> 00:03:48,559
uh-oh
73
00:03:51,688 --> 00:03:54,548
get on out...
Get on out of the door
74
00:03:54,578 --> 00:03:56,598
re-re-re-repossessed
75
00:04:21,927 --> 00:04:23,767
Priest, German accent:
Uh, Adams?
76
00:04:23,787 --> 00:04:24,747
Here.
77
00:04:24,777 --> 00:04:25,897
Blaine?
78
00:04:25,927 --> 00:04:26,808
Yes, father.
79
00:04:26,828 --> 00:04:27,788
Grigsby?
80
00:04:27,808 --> 00:04:29,006
Here, father.
81
00:04:29,026 --> 00:04:32,695
The mormon
tabernacle choir?
82
00:04:32,715 --> 00:04:34,325
here
83
00:04:37,282 --> 00:04:40,082
Good day to you.
I am father mayii.
84
00:04:40,102 --> 00:04:43,573
And I would like to welcome
you to the seminar.
85
00:04:43,593 --> 00:04:45,580
I am here to discuss
an incident in my life
86
00:04:45,610 --> 00:04:47,490
That first destroyed,
87
00:04:47,690 --> 00:04:47,700
And then renewed my belief in divine
intervention. That first destroyed,
88
00:04:47,900 --> 00:04:53,928
And then renewed my belief
in divine intervention.
89
00:04:53,958 --> 00:04:58,738
17 years ago, a young girl
was a victim of an episode
90
00:04:58,758 --> 00:05:01,585
Of demonic possession,
91
00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:04,395
And I was called in
to rescue her soul.
92
00:05:04,425 --> 00:05:08,435
Now, that battle left me
broken physically,
93
00:05:08,455 --> 00:05:09,492
And mentally...
94
00:05:11,492 --> 00:05:13,033
But recently,
95
00:05:13,053 --> 00:05:14,993
My faith has been renewed.
96
00:05:15,013 --> 00:05:18,800
And I believe that even the
most cynical among you here
97
00:05:18,820 --> 00:05:21,580
Will... Find...
98
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,569
This story...
99
00:05:23,589 --> 00:05:25,387
Inspiring.
100
00:05:27,628 --> 00:05:30,028
Young lady, would you
pull down your dress?
101
00:05:30,048 --> 00:05:31,278
Sure.
102
00:05:33,255 --> 00:05:34,345
Up!
103
00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:36,045
Ooh.
104
00:05:42,882 --> 00:05:44,752
Mayii: I had long since
lost track
105
00:05:44,772 --> 00:05:46,643
Of the child Nancy.
106
00:05:46,663 --> 00:05:49,580
She had grown to womanhood
and got married,
107
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,461
And had settled down
with her husband
108
00:05:51,491 --> 00:05:53,540
And 2 lovely children,
109
00:05:53,570 --> 00:05:55,660
In a picturesque
neighborhood
110
00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:58,347
With playful children
and picket fences,
111
00:05:58,367 --> 00:05:59,947
And lots of caucasians.
112
00:05:59,967 --> 00:06:01,038
Ah-choo!
113
00:06:02,697 --> 00:06:03,828
TV announcer: So,
for the fifth time,
114
00:06:03,848 --> 00:06:04,878
This charity match
115
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:06,925
Between the pro hockey
all-stars,
116
00:06:06,955 --> 00:06:08,115
And Peggy hamill's
pals on ice
117
00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:09,705
Has turned ugly, Dan.
118
00:06:09,735 --> 00:06:11,345
Dan: Yeah, and it was
rusty the rooster
119
00:06:11,364 --> 00:06:12,714
Who started it all
with his...
120
00:06:12,734 --> 00:06:13,862
For another episode
121
00:06:13,892 --> 00:06:15,463
Of bride's head
revisited...
122
00:06:15,483 --> 00:06:16,622
At last...
123
00:06:16,642 --> 00:06:19,463
My dear, sweet,
loving bride!
124
00:06:19,483 --> 00:06:21,480
Oh, my darling!
125
00:06:21,510 --> 00:06:23,010
Ok, kids, dinner's
almost ready!
126
00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:24,140
Turn off the TV!
127
00:06:24,170 --> 00:06:25,779
What are we having?
128
00:06:25,799 --> 00:06:27,940
Oh, your favorite...
Prime ribs, sweet potatoes,
129
00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:31,147
Green beans...
And split pea soup.
130
00:06:35,587 --> 00:06:36,907
Not again!
Oh, mom!
131
00:06:36,927 --> 00:06:38,375
Both: I hate
split pea soup!
132
00:06:38,395 --> 00:06:39,436
You know
we hate it.
133
00:06:39,456 --> 00:06:41,105
Mom, we hate it!
134
00:06:41,125 --> 00:06:42,685
I said they were
lovely children.
135
00:06:42,885 --> 00:06:42,895
At this point, they had not taken acting
lessons. I said they were lovely children.
136
00:06:43,095 --> 00:06:46,342
At this point, they had
not taken acting lessons.
137
00:06:46,362 --> 00:06:48,932
Really, mom, I want
to change my name.
138
00:06:48,962 --> 00:06:51,183
All my girlfriends
think it's dorky.
139
00:06:51,203 --> 00:06:53,221
Oh, honey, but frieda
is such a nice name.
140
00:06:53,251 --> 00:06:56,880
Not my first name.
My last name... aglet.
141
00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:59,979
Come on! What's it mean,
anyway?
142
00:06:59,999 --> 00:07:02,247
Well, frieda,
in the old days,
143
00:07:02,277 --> 00:07:04,587
Aglet meant he who puts
those tiny plastic things
144
00:07:04,607 --> 00:07:06,218
On the end of shoelaces.
145
00:07:06,238 --> 00:07:09,445
See, back then, a man's name
was the same as his occupation.
146
00:07:09,465 --> 00:07:11,145
Oh, like a man named
Fred carpenter
147
00:07:11,165 --> 00:07:12,105
Would build houses?
148
00:07:12,125 --> 00:07:13,255
Mm-hmm.
149
00:07:13,275 --> 00:07:14,694
Or a Thomas Baker
made bread?
150
00:07:14,724 --> 00:07:15,745
Exactly.
151
00:07:15,775 --> 00:07:17,183
So, what did
John hancock do?
152
00:07:18,822 --> 00:07:21,483
Well, there were
some exceptions.
153
00:07:21,503 --> 00:07:22,853
clap on
154
00:07:22,873 --> 00:07:24,772
clap off
155
00:07:24,802 --> 00:07:26,540
clap on,
clap off
156
00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:27,781
the clapper
157
00:07:30,650 --> 00:07:34,437
Announcer: Here's Ernest
and Fanny rae weller.
158
00:07:42,686 --> 00:07:44,875
Hey, bless you!
159
00:07:44,895 --> 00:07:48,644
God bless you!
160
00:07:48,674 --> 00:07:52,742
Welcome to Ernest and
Fanny's miracle hour.
161
00:07:52,762 --> 00:07:54,343
I am Ernest...
162
00:07:54,373 --> 00:07:55,973
And I'm Fanny.
163
00:07:56,003 --> 00:07:58,120
Oh, and you all know
little foo-foo.
164
00:07:58,140 --> 00:08:00,360
All: Hi, foo-foo!
165
00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:03,810
Oh, foo-foo says,
"God bless you, everyone."
166
00:08:03,830 --> 00:08:04,770
Ha ha ha ha.
167
00:08:06,558 --> 00:08:08,907
We have a terrific
line-up of inspiration
168
00:08:08,927 --> 00:08:11,018
For you
on this program.
169
00:08:11,038 --> 00:08:13,575
As usual, we'll be
reading some passages
170
00:08:13,595 --> 00:08:14,725
From the good book.
171
00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:16,745
And just possibly,
we will heal
172
00:08:16,765 --> 00:08:18,985
Some of our sickly,
and/or...
173
00:08:19,005 --> 00:08:20,425
Crippled followers.
174
00:08:20,445 --> 00:08:22,432
And you know, Ernest,
175
00:08:22,452 --> 00:08:25,253
Foo-foo just loves
when you heal people.
176
00:08:25,273 --> 00:08:27,082
Foo-foo is
a good dog.
177
00:08:27,102 --> 00:08:29,003
Arf!
Why, you little shit!
178
00:08:29,023 --> 00:08:32,010
Zu. Shih-tzu.
179
00:08:32,030 --> 00:08:33,310
All: Ahh.
180
00:08:33,340 --> 00:08:34,440
Boy: I don't want
to watch this!
181
00:08:34,460 --> 00:08:35,749
No, way!
182
00:08:35,769 --> 00:08:37,857
Hey, hey, hey, hey...
Come on, now.
183
00:08:37,877 --> 00:08:39,588
Ok, ok.
I'll change it.
184
00:08:39,618 --> 00:08:41,478
Ernest: Why,
you little foo-foo.
185
00:08:42,518 --> 00:08:44,418
That's strange.
186
00:08:44,448 --> 00:08:45,375
I don't know...
187
00:08:45,405 --> 00:08:47,165
Maybe the batteries
are dead.
188
00:08:47,195 --> 00:08:50,014
I'll change it
myself.
189
00:08:50,044 --> 00:08:52,225
Ernest: We're going to defeat
the mightiest evil of all...
190
00:08:52,255 --> 00:08:54,493
The devil himself!
191
00:08:54,523 --> 00:08:58,853
Never forget that Satan
constantly surrounds us,
192
00:08:58,873 --> 00:09:00,772
With but one goal
in mind...
193
00:09:00,802 --> 00:09:03,591
To steal your soul!
194
00:09:24,954 --> 00:09:27,453
Nancy: Silence!
195
00:09:27,473 --> 00:09:29,092
One more word
196
00:09:29,112 --> 00:09:31,233
Out of you little
sacks of shit,
197
00:09:31,253 --> 00:09:34,020
And there'll be no more
TV for you tonight!
198
00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:37,730
Ha ha ha ha!
199
00:09:39,770 --> 00:09:40,960
Ahh...
200
00:09:43,157 --> 00:09:45,828
Oh! Uhh! Uhh...
201
00:09:45,848 --> 00:09:49,535
Oh! Oh, kids,
I'm so sorry!
202
00:09:49,565 --> 00:09:51,235
I don't know what
came over me!
203
00:09:51,255 --> 00:09:52,136
Oh!
204
00:09:53,655 --> 00:09:55,265
20 bucks says
it's p.M.S.
205
00:09:57,115 --> 00:09:59,032
Make it stop!
Make it stop!
206
00:09:59,062 --> 00:10:02,782
Aah! Make it stop!
207
00:10:12,919 --> 00:10:15,097
I hate that control.
208
00:10:17,267 --> 00:10:19,008
Oh, honey,
I'm so sorry.
209
00:10:19,038 --> 00:10:20,838
Hey, don't be
so hard on yourself.
210
00:10:20,858 --> 00:10:22,305
I should've ducked.
211
00:10:24,215 --> 00:10:25,215
You have this thing
checked out
212
00:10:25,235 --> 00:10:26,944
By Dr. hackett
tomorrow, ok?
213
00:10:34,773 --> 00:10:38,240
Yep. Definitely p.M.S.
214
00:10:38,260 --> 00:10:43,170
I had no idea that Satan
had entered Nancy's body.
215
00:10:43,190 --> 00:10:46,527
And seized her soul
once again.
216
00:10:46,547 --> 00:10:47,967
As a matter of fact,
at that time,
217
00:10:47,987 --> 00:10:51,167
I was so burned-out...
As they say in California...
218
00:10:51,187 --> 00:10:54,906
I couldn't find my butt
with both my hands.
219
00:10:54,936 --> 00:10:57,085
I took a sabbatical,
and I traveled.
220
00:10:57,105 --> 00:10:59,425
But no matter
where I went,
221
00:10:59,445 --> 00:11:01,532
The memory
of that awful night
222
00:11:01,552 --> 00:11:02,752
Kept haunting me.
223
00:11:10,390 --> 00:11:11,930
Oh, honey, I forgot
to grab my purse.
224
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,050
Let's go back.
225
00:11:13,070 --> 00:11:13,980
All right.
226
00:11:39,893 --> 00:11:42,811
Ha ha. Here? Now?
227
00:11:48,659 --> 00:11:51,578
Oh, excuse me.
Are you getting off?
228
00:11:54,648 --> 00:11:57,885
Dr. fingers, please
report to proctology.
229
00:11:57,905 --> 00:11:59,165
Dr. fingers...
230
00:11:59,185 --> 00:12:00,185
Oh, doctor...
Dr. hackett?
231
00:12:00,205 --> 00:12:02,844
Uh, no.
I'm not a doctor.
232
00:12:02,864 --> 00:12:04,565
But I do play one
on television.
233
00:12:04,585 --> 00:12:07,542
That's why I recommend
new buffer caps
234
00:12:07,572 --> 00:12:09,072
For fast-acting,
long relief.
235
00:12:09,102 --> 00:12:12,322
You're lucky, Rick.
Not many amputees
236
00:12:12,342 --> 00:12:14,680
Are fortunate enough
to receive a transplanted arm.
237
00:12:14,710 --> 00:12:16,441
I know, but it's too
bad that wrestler
238
00:12:16,461 --> 00:12:17,690
Had to die
for me to get it.
239
00:12:17,710 --> 00:12:19,610
Man, Chinese accent:
Call for Dr. hackett!
240
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:20,990
Uh-oh. Got to go.
241
00:12:21,010 --> 00:12:22,037
See you in rehab.
242
00:12:22,057 --> 00:12:23,447
Sure doc.
Uhh!
243
00:12:30,196 --> 00:12:31,645
Oh, hello,
Dr. hackett.
244
00:12:31,665 --> 00:12:33,845
Hello, Nancy.
Long time, no see.
245
00:12:33,865 --> 00:12:36,404
So, uh, what seems
to be your problem?
246
00:12:36,424 --> 00:12:39,252
Something came over me
last night.
247
00:12:39,272 --> 00:12:43,193
I just felt such...
Incredible anger.
248
00:12:43,223 --> 00:12:44,953
Then, suddenly,
I vomited on my family.
249
00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:47,450
Hmm.
250
00:12:47,470 --> 00:12:48,830
Smooth or chunky?
251
00:12:48,850 --> 00:12:50,579
Uh, smooth.
252
00:12:50,609 --> 00:12:52,540
Oh, doctor,
what could it be?
253
00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:54,678
Possibly the flu.
I just had
254
00:12:54,708 --> 00:12:56,607
A couple of cases
of it come in today.
255
00:12:56,627 --> 00:12:58,008
I must admit
that hospitals
256
00:12:58,038 --> 00:12:59,638
Have always
frightened me.
257
00:12:59,668 --> 00:13:02,615
Nancy, relax. Relax.
258
00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:08,085
Hmm...
259
00:13:10,992 --> 00:13:12,272
Hmm...
260
00:13:14,343 --> 00:13:16,183
Hmm...
261
00:13:16,213 --> 00:13:18,201
So, what's wrong
with me?
262
00:13:18,221 --> 00:13:21,560
Well, in a nutshell,
I took a survey
263
00:13:21,580 --> 00:13:23,000
Of all the doctors
gathered here.
264
00:13:23,020 --> 00:13:24,599
When I tallied
their opinions,
265
00:13:24,619 --> 00:13:25,867
The survey said...
266
00:13:26,067 --> 00:13:26,077
All, applauding: Good answer!
The survey said...
267
00:13:26,277 --> 00:13:27,347
All, applauding:
Good answer!
268
00:13:27,367 --> 00:13:31,188
Good answer!
269
00:13:31,218 --> 00:13:34,515
Oh, dear lord, why?
270
00:13:34,545 --> 00:13:38,195
I mean, after my exorcism,
I-I've strived to lead
271
00:13:38,215 --> 00:13:41,235
A good, clean,
decent life.
272
00:13:41,255 --> 00:13:44,112
I haven't done anything
morally wrong.
273
00:13:44,142 --> 00:13:47,833
Oh, except watch
that rob lowe video.
274
00:13:47,853 --> 00:13:49,372
Just give me a sign.
275
00:14:00,997 --> 00:14:02,837
hallelujah
276
00:14:02,867 --> 00:14:05,488
Oh, that's it!
277
00:14:05,518 --> 00:14:07,795
hallelujah
278
00:14:07,815 --> 00:14:11,475
Mayii: Nancy reached out
for the guidance of God.
279
00:14:11,505 --> 00:14:13,714
She discovered that
she was not the only one
280
00:14:13,732 --> 00:14:15,442
Walking the streets
in search of the path
281
00:14:15,462 --> 00:14:17,402
Of penitence and truth.
282
00:14:17,422 --> 00:14:20,273
God comforts even
the lowliest of them,
283
00:14:20,303 --> 00:14:23,380
Even though they lack
any shred of intelligence.
284
00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,040
The name's north, ma'am.
285
00:14:25,060 --> 00:14:26,809
I have a reservation.
286
00:14:26,829 --> 00:14:29,040
Let's see...
Uh, yes. Mr. north.
287
00:14:29,060 --> 00:14:30,518
How long has it been
288
00:14:30,538 --> 00:14:31,437
Since your last
confession?
289
00:14:34,538 --> 00:14:36,627
I don't recall,
counsel.
290
00:14:36,647 --> 00:14:37,775
Ok, uh, please
follow me.
291
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:42,325
It was here she met
father Luke brophy...
292
00:14:42,345 --> 00:14:44,505
A dedicated young priest.
293
00:14:44,525 --> 00:14:46,992
He who gives of himself
294
00:14:47,012 --> 00:14:49,722
To someone
other than himself
295
00:14:49,732 --> 00:14:52,623
Will find that
he shall receive
296
00:14:52,653 --> 00:14:54,901
From that someone...
297
00:14:54,931 --> 00:14:57,550
Something
that... that...
298
00:14:57,570 --> 00:15:01,169
Someone
other than he...
299
00:15:01,199 --> 00:15:02,477
Uh... Wait, um...
300
00:15:02,497 --> 00:15:04,728
Ok, he...
301
00:15:04,748 --> 00:15:08,308
Shall receive
that which he gave.
302
00:15:08,338 --> 00:15:10,835
Of himself, which,
303
00:15:10,855 --> 00:15:12,345
Uh...
304
00:15:13,745 --> 00:15:15,284
I said he was dedicated.
305
00:15:15,304 --> 00:15:18,033
I did not say
he was articulate.
306
00:15:18,053 --> 00:15:19,722
Look, just be good
to each other.
307
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,062
All: Ohh!
308
00:15:21,262 --> 00:15:21,272
With that in mind,
All: Ohh!
309
00:15:21,472 --> 00:15:22,763
With that in mind,
310
00:15:22,793 --> 00:15:24,562
I will now ask
our ushers
311
00:15:24,592 --> 00:15:26,480
To please pass around
the donation basket.
312
00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:27,690
Our church thanks you.
313
00:15:27,710 --> 00:15:31,310
Mayii: Father brophy
was a man of integrity.
314
00:15:31,340 --> 00:15:33,550
A man dedicated
to his beliefs.
315
00:15:33,570 --> 00:15:37,197
A man about 5' 10"
in his stocking feet.
316
00:15:37,217 --> 00:15:38,867
It was father Luke
317
00:15:38,887 --> 00:15:40,758
Who would make me
once again come face-to-face
318
00:15:40,778 --> 00:15:44,425
With my nightmares,
and would introduce me
319
00:15:44,455 --> 00:15:47,915
To some very interesting
Armenian food.
320
00:15:47,935 --> 00:15:49,394
As a matter of fact,
it was at the dinner table
321
00:15:49,414 --> 00:15:52,623
That he heard his brother
say, "Luke..."
322
00:15:52,643 --> 00:15:53,973
Always wipe the rim."
323
00:16:09,407 --> 00:16:10,478
Sister brothers...
324
00:16:10,508 --> 00:16:11,928
Excuse me, father.
325
00:16:11,948 --> 00:16:13,677
While tallying
the donations,
326
00:16:13,697 --> 00:16:15,155
I came upon this note
327
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:16,556
With your name
written on it.
328
00:16:16,586 --> 00:16:17,605
Thank you.
329
00:16:21,095 --> 00:16:22,292
Student:
Father mayii?
330
00:16:22,312 --> 00:16:23,242
Yes, yes?
331
00:16:23,262 --> 00:16:24,902
Is it true that
priests and nuns
332
00:16:24,932 --> 00:16:26,573
Have orgies
in the Vatican?
333
00:16:26,593 --> 00:16:27,252
What?
334
00:16:29,473 --> 00:16:32,880
Father Luke suffered from
the burden of self-doubt,
335
00:16:32,900 --> 00:16:35,310
Always questioning himself.
336
00:16:35,330 --> 00:16:38,287
Was he good enough
to be a priest?
337
00:16:38,307 --> 00:16:39,747
Should he have been
a rabbi instead?
338
00:16:39,777 --> 00:16:42,188
After all, they do
have Sundays off.
339
00:16:42,208 --> 00:16:44,528
And the question that
nagged him the most...
340
00:16:44,548 --> 00:16:48,005
Why weren't there any
Japanese players in the nba?
341
00:16:48,035 --> 00:16:50,025
Was it the hand
of the almighty
342
00:16:50,055 --> 00:16:51,914
That drew Luke
to the phone that night?
343
00:16:53,865 --> 00:16:55,473
Or had he just forgotten
344
00:16:55,493 --> 00:16:57,362
To leave his answering
machine on again?
345
00:16:57,382 --> 00:16:58,663
Hello?
346
00:16:58,693 --> 00:17:01,392
Father brophy?
Hi. This is Nancy aglet.
347
00:17:01,412 --> 00:17:02,800
I'm the one that
left you that note today.
348
00:17:02,820 --> 00:17:04,591
That's so strange.
349
00:17:04,611 --> 00:17:06,030
I was just about
to phone you.
350
00:17:06,050 --> 00:17:07,300
I hope I'm not
disturbing you.
351
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:09,220
I looked your name up
in the phone book.
352
00:17:09,250 --> 00:17:10,317
That's ok.
Now, what's this
353
00:17:10,337 --> 00:17:11,917
About your having
a religious problem?
354
00:17:13,057 --> 00:17:14,318
Honey...
355
00:17:14,338 --> 00:17:16,238
Oh, sorry. Have you seen
my nose hair clippers?
356
00:17:16,258 --> 00:17:18,096
Um, they're
in the, uh, cabinet.
357
00:17:21,445 --> 00:17:22,955
Listen, I really can't
talk about this over the phone.
358
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:24,874
Is it possible you could
come over tonight,
359
00:17:24,894 --> 00:17:26,402
So we could
speak privately?
360
00:17:26,432 --> 00:17:28,973
Uh, well, you see,
it's my, uh...
361
00:17:28,993 --> 00:17:31,403
Please, father.
It's very, very serious.
362
00:17:31,423 --> 00:17:33,203
Sure. Where
do you live?
363
00:17:33,223 --> 00:17:37,200
I live at 733 sex drive.
364
00:17:37,220 --> 00:17:39,619
Thank you.
Good-bye.
365
00:17:39,649 --> 00:17:40,520
Good-bye.
366
00:17:48,418 --> 00:17:49,357
Hey, let's play
367
00:17:49,377 --> 00:17:51,335
With the mystic
spirit board, ok?
368
00:17:52,776 --> 00:17:53,955
Enter, please.
369
00:17:57,955 --> 00:18:00,072
Well, welcome,
father.
370
00:18:00,092 --> 00:18:00,872
I'm Braydon aglet.
371
00:18:00,892 --> 00:18:02,193
Hello.
372
00:18:02,203 --> 00:18:03,622
And these are my
children ned and frieda.
373
00:18:03,642 --> 00:18:04,843
Hi.
Ned: Hi.
374
00:18:04,863 --> 00:18:06,191
Come on, dad,
let's play!
375
00:18:06,201 --> 00:18:08,420
Come on, dad,
please, let's play.
376
00:18:08,450 --> 00:18:09,860
In a second.
377
00:18:09,890 --> 00:18:11,310
Nancy said you'd
be dropping by.
378
00:18:11,330 --> 00:18:12,559
Something about her
doing some work
379
00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:13,729
With the church?
380
00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:16,168
Uh, something
like that, yes.
381
00:18:16,188 --> 00:18:17,537
What should we
ask it first, dad?
382
00:18:17,567 --> 00:18:19,948
Oh, well, uh... Well,
there's something
383
00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:21,868
I've always wanted
to ask.
384
00:18:21,888 --> 00:18:23,425
Will Ted Kennedy
ever become president?
385
00:18:33,982 --> 00:18:36,782
Ho ho ho! I guess
not, eh, kids?
386
00:18:36,802 --> 00:18:38,500
Braydon,
I thought we'd spoken
387
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:40,201
About using that thing
in this house.
388
00:18:40,221 --> 00:18:42,950
I never want to see that
thing in this house again!
389
00:18:46,327 --> 00:18:49,607
Ohh! Oh, I'm so sorry!
390
00:18:49,627 --> 00:18:50,718
Ohh...
391
00:18:50,748 --> 00:18:53,858
Father, maybe we could...
392
00:18:53,888 --> 00:18:55,935
Go in the other room
and speak privately?
393
00:18:55,965 --> 00:18:56,965
Sure.
394
00:18:59,645 --> 00:19:00,804
It was... it was very
nice meeting you.
395
00:19:08,283 --> 00:19:10,023
I-I assume you don't
want your family
396
00:19:10,043 --> 00:19:10,980
Knowing about this.
397
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:11,450
No, I don't.
398
00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:11,660
No one knows what happened to
me in my past. No, I don't.
399
00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:15,139
No one knows what
happened to me in my past.
400
00:19:15,169 --> 00:19:17,480
And what I believe is
happening to me now.
401
00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:19,078
Ok, and what exactly
is that?
402
00:19:21,087 --> 00:19:23,688
I believe I'm being
possessed by the devil.
403
00:19:23,718 --> 00:19:25,577
The devil?
404
00:19:27,765 --> 00:19:30,025
Mrs. aglet, are you
under any kind
405
00:19:30,045 --> 00:19:32,195
Of psychiatric care
at all?
406
00:19:32,215 --> 00:19:34,812
I once gave my word
never to show anyone
407
00:19:34,842 --> 00:19:36,192
What you are
about to see.
408
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:48,799
High school
debating champion?
409
00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:58,305
Papal seal
of possession?
410
00:20:01,045 --> 00:20:02,595
Signed by the pope.
411
00:20:04,244 --> 00:20:05,125
Mrs...
412
00:20:07,483 --> 00:20:08,902
Mrs. aglet,
I apologize,
413
00:20:08,922 --> 00:20:10,753
But I guess
I've always felt
414
00:20:10,783 --> 00:20:12,872
That these stories
of demonic possession
415
00:20:12,892 --> 00:20:15,070
Were nothing more
than religious folklore.
416
00:20:17,081 --> 00:20:19,140
Why did you call me?
Why didn't you contact
417
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,220
The exorcist... father magi?
418
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:22,367
Mayii. Father
Jedediah mayii.
419
00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:26,948
Well, they say he
retired from the church
420
00:20:26,968 --> 00:20:28,988
Right after
my exorcism.
421
00:20:29,018 --> 00:20:31,746
What makes you think that
you're being possessed again?
422
00:20:33,885 --> 00:20:36,705
Satan's spirit flew
right out of my TV set
423
00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:38,652
And into my soul.
424
00:20:40,252 --> 00:20:41,692
Ok...
425
00:20:41,712 --> 00:20:43,423
Oh, no, I know it
sounds crazy,
426
00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:46,153
But it must be true.
427
00:20:46,173 --> 00:20:48,160
Father,
please help me.
428
00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:50,650
Please!
429
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,570
I'll do
whatever I can.
430
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:54,458
Here...
431
00:20:54,488 --> 00:20:55,748
Take this.
432
00:20:55,768 --> 00:20:57,307
It might help.
433
00:21:08,145 --> 00:21:10,972
Uh, I, uh...
434
00:21:10,992 --> 00:21:13,662
I got to go now, ok?
435
00:21:13,692 --> 00:21:16,062
You're not going
anywhere, scuzzball!
436
00:21:17,973 --> 00:21:20,350
Ah ha ha ha ha!
437
00:21:25,559 --> 00:21:26,777
Ha ha ha ha!
438
00:21:28,568 --> 00:21:30,107
This blood is mine!
439
00:21:30,137 --> 00:21:32,258
Do you understand?
The blood is mine!
440
00:21:32,278 --> 00:21:35,135
Dad! Mom's humping
the priest!
441
00:21:35,165 --> 00:21:36,155
Die! Die!
442
00:21:36,175 --> 00:21:38,075
Holy...
443
00:21:38,105 --> 00:21:39,105
Honey...
444
00:21:39,125 --> 00:21:41,565
Die, you slug!
445
00:21:41,585 --> 00:21:42,913
Die!
446
00:21:44,762 --> 00:21:45,662
Here's the, uh, camera,
447
00:21:45,682 --> 00:21:48,383
And the cassette recorder
that you asked for.
448
00:21:48,403 --> 00:21:49,532
Thank you.
449
00:21:49,552 --> 00:21:51,140
Father, what's
going on here?
450
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:53,690
I mean, we just had to tie
my wife down to the bed.
451
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:56,290
I've never done anything
like that before in my life.
452
00:21:56,310 --> 00:21:57,850
Well, except
that one time
453
00:21:57,880 --> 00:21:59,257
When the kids
were away at camp.
454
00:21:59,277 --> 00:22:00,697
Mr. aglet...
455
00:22:00,727 --> 00:22:02,177
I don't know what's
wrong with your wife,
456
00:22:02,197 --> 00:22:03,168
But I'll certainly
do all I can
457
00:22:03,188 --> 00:22:04,447
To find out.
458
00:22:37,357 --> 00:22:38,527
Hello, Nancy.
459
00:22:43,955 --> 00:22:45,505
I must say, you
certainly don't look
460
00:22:45,525 --> 00:22:47,452
Anything like you did
a few minutes ago.
461
00:22:47,472 --> 00:22:49,082
I am the devil!
462
00:22:50,643 --> 00:22:52,893
Well...
463
00:22:52,913 --> 00:22:54,801
I guess that means
that you and I have gone
464
00:22:54,831 --> 00:22:56,860
From being friends
to being enemies.
465
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,830
I am far more powerful
than you can ever imagine.
466
00:22:59,860 --> 00:23:01,759
Maybe...
467
00:23:05,078 --> 00:23:07,938
However, you are
but one being.
468
00:23:07,958 --> 00:23:12,125
I represent the belief
of far more people.
469
00:23:12,145 --> 00:23:13,855
Did you know that
the Christian religion
470
00:23:13,875 --> 00:23:15,864
Has over
a billion followers?
471
00:23:15,884 --> 00:23:18,933
Big deal. So does
the wheel of fortune.
472
00:23:18,963 --> 00:23:22,613
So, don't try to impress me
with numbers.
473
00:23:22,633 --> 00:23:25,532
I hate all forms
of religion.
474
00:23:25,552 --> 00:23:28,570
And I hate all who
do not bow in my presence,
475
00:23:28,590 --> 00:23:30,650
No matter if they call
themselves a baptist,
476
00:23:30,670 --> 00:23:32,190
A protestant, a catholic,
or a Jew!
477
00:23:32,210 --> 00:23:33,980
Oh, God bless you.
478
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:35,067
Silence!
479
00:23:35,077 --> 00:23:37,717
Watch yourself, boy.
480
00:23:37,737 --> 00:23:40,087
The last collar jockey
who screwed with me
481
00:23:40,107 --> 00:23:42,488
Ended up with
a dislocated shoulder.
482
00:23:42,518 --> 00:23:44,345
You can't frighten me.
483
00:23:46,805 --> 00:23:48,345
They found it
in Baltimore.
484
00:23:50,224 --> 00:23:51,542
By the way...
485
00:23:51,562 --> 00:23:53,373
How would you like
a little souvenir
486
00:23:53,393 --> 00:23:55,223
From my last conquest?
487
00:23:57,203 --> 00:23:59,430
Father brophy,
488
00:23:59,630 --> 00:23:59,640
Meet father mayii.
Father brophy,
489
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:01,300
Meet father mayii.
490
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:03,599
I never thought that
looked like me. I-i...
491
00:24:03,629 --> 00:24:05,040
Does that look like me?
492
00:24:05,070 --> 00:24:07,568
I think it looks more
like Phil donahue.
493
00:24:07,588 --> 00:24:09,687
You silly,
weak fool!
494
00:24:09,707 --> 00:24:11,448
Putting so much faith
495
00:24:11,468 --> 00:24:13,657
In a God you've
never even seen before.
496
00:24:13,677 --> 00:24:14,805
I don't need
to see him,
497
00:24:14,825 --> 00:24:16,696
For the Bible says
that God created man
498
00:24:16,716 --> 00:24:17,945
In his own image.
499
00:24:17,965 --> 00:24:19,575
Oh, yeah.
500
00:24:19,605 --> 00:24:22,175
Then how do you explain
pee-wee Herman?
501
00:24:22,195 --> 00:24:23,852
All right...
502
00:24:26,022 --> 00:24:28,062
If you really
are the devil,
503
00:24:28,082 --> 00:24:30,103
Then why don't
you prove it?
504
00:24:31,951 --> 00:24:34,740
How about you do
something supernatural?
505
00:24:37,449 --> 00:24:40,247
Not impressed, huh?
506
00:24:40,267 --> 00:24:42,617
Well, how about
if I...
507
00:24:42,637 --> 00:24:44,818
Make the film break?
508
00:24:49,765 --> 00:24:52,054
Oh. Of... of course
I love you. Yeah.
509
00:24:52,074 --> 00:24:54,135
This evening, 8:30.
510
00:24:54,155 --> 00:24:55,603
Tonight? No, no.
511
00:24:55,633 --> 00:24:57,242
No feathers. We'll use
the whole chicken.
512
00:25:01,712 --> 00:25:03,090
Ahem.
513
00:25:03,120 --> 00:25:06,130
Father brophy
was very disturbed.
514
00:25:13,127 --> 00:25:14,647
So, father,
what happened?
515
00:25:15,947 --> 00:25:17,428
It may sound
unbelievable,
516
00:25:17,448 --> 00:25:18,996
But my guess
is that Nancy is...
517
00:25:24,875 --> 00:25:26,424
Possessed
by the devil.
518
00:25:26,444 --> 00:25:27,632
Yeah, I knew it!
519
00:25:27,662 --> 00:25:28,602
He said
it's only a guess!
520
00:25:28,622 --> 00:25:30,542
I still say
it's p.M.S.
521
00:25:30,562 --> 00:25:33,783
Mayii: As father brophy drove
from the aglet home,
522
00:25:33,803 --> 00:25:36,170
A great fear welled up
within him
523
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:37,940
Like a big sneeze.
524
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:39,090
You feel it build,
525
00:25:39,110 --> 00:25:40,529
But you know you can't stop it
526
00:25:40,549 --> 00:25:42,390
Without making your ears plug up
527
00:25:42,410 --> 00:25:44,527
And a bubble come out
of your nose.
528
00:25:44,547 --> 00:25:45,937
How could he,
529
00:25:45,957 --> 00:25:48,208
A young, inexperienced priest,
530
00:25:48,228 --> 00:25:51,185
Do battle alone
with the dark lord himself?
531
00:25:51,205 --> 00:25:53,196
Then, it came to him
532
00:25:53,226 --> 00:25:54,625
Like a sign from heaven.
533
00:25:54,825 --> 00:25:54,835
Like a sign from heaven.
534
00:25:56,365 --> 00:25:57,815
Man: Hey, hey!
535
00:25:57,835 --> 00:25:59,372
I can't see nothing!
What are you doing up there?
536
00:25:59,402 --> 00:26:00,332
Second man:
What's going on?
537
00:26:00,362 --> 00:26:02,222
Is that you?
Hey, get up!
538
00:26:04,482 --> 00:26:06,003
Mayii: The young priest
had read about
539
00:26:06,023 --> 00:26:09,330
The exorcism I had performed
in 1973
540
00:26:09,350 --> 00:26:12,780
As well as my 17-year
decline into oblivion.
541
00:26:12,810 --> 00:26:14,479
But he tried to call me anyway.
542
00:26:20,068 --> 00:26:23,085
Mayii: Strangely, my number
kept ringing busy.
543
00:26:23,105 --> 00:26:25,965
Was it Satan's trickery at work?
544
00:26:25,985 --> 00:26:28,744
Or was it just my party line?
545
00:26:32,363 --> 00:26:34,322
If he had reached me,
546
00:26:34,342 --> 00:26:36,213
I would have told him
not to come.
547
00:26:36,233 --> 00:26:38,512
I was weak and tired,
548
00:26:38,532 --> 00:26:41,071
Listless, out of sorts, and...
549
00:26:41,091 --> 00:26:43,540
My stools were a little loose.
550
00:26:49,277 --> 00:26:50,257
Sister, I'm looking
for the room...
551
00:26:50,277 --> 00:26:51,917
Hold out your hands.
552
00:26:51,947 --> 00:26:53,548
Excuse me?
553
00:26:53,578 --> 00:26:55,056
Hold out your hands.
554
00:26:58,435 --> 00:26:59,915
Ow!
555
00:26:59,945 --> 00:27:01,674
Don't run
in the hallways!
556
00:27:04,012 --> 00:27:05,933
Now, what do you need?
557
00:27:05,953 --> 00:27:08,843
Which room is father
Jedediah mayii in?
558
00:27:08,873 --> 00:27:10,153
Upstairs on the left.
559
00:27:10,173 --> 00:27:11,370
Thank you.
560
00:27:13,190 --> 00:27:14,100
Ah-ah-ah!
561
00:27:19,458 --> 00:27:20,847
Ow!
562
00:27:22,757 --> 00:27:24,498
A fierce tornado smashed its way
563
00:27:24,518 --> 00:27:25,427
Through an unpopulated,
564
00:27:25,447 --> 00:27:27,085
Uninhabited stretch
of barren desert today...
565
00:27:28,295 --> 00:27:29,256
Causing no noticeable damage
566
00:27:29,276 --> 00:27:30,215
To an unspecified...
567
00:27:35,842 --> 00:27:36,752
Yes?
568
00:27:36,772 --> 00:27:37,832
Who is it?
569
00:27:38,972 --> 00:27:40,232
Father mayii?
570
00:27:40,262 --> 00:27:42,543
Yes, you may.
571
00:27:42,563 --> 00:27:44,581
Father,
I'm father Luke brophy
572
00:27:44,611 --> 00:27:46,280
From our lady
of the evening.
573
00:27:46,310 --> 00:27:48,300
I'm terribly sorry
for coming by so late,
574
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:49,819
But there's someone who
desperately needs you,
575
00:27:50,019 --> 00:27:50,029
Someone you helped a long time ago. But
there's someone who desperately needs you,
576
00:27:50,229 --> 00:27:52,197
Someone you helped
a long time ago.
577
00:27:52,227 --> 00:27:53,938
Someone I helped
a long time ago?
578
00:27:53,958 --> 00:27:55,088
Who?
579
00:27:55,108 --> 00:27:56,108
Nancy aglet.
580
00:27:56,128 --> 00:27:57,388
I don't, uh...
581
00:27:57,408 --> 00:27:58,798
Recall the name.
582
00:27:58,818 --> 00:28:00,325
Well, then maybe you'll
recall her exorcism.
583
00:28:01,665 --> 00:28:02,915
Oh, good lord.
584
00:28:02,945 --> 00:28:04,874
Oh!
585
00:28:04,894 --> 00:28:08,423
Little Nancy velsmo.
586
00:28:08,443 --> 00:28:11,273
Oh, that poor child.
587
00:28:11,303 --> 00:28:12,393
That poor child.
588
00:28:12,413 --> 00:28:14,722
She barely survived
the exorcism,
589
00:28:14,752 --> 00:28:16,130
As did I.
590
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:19,240
And you say that
she needs my help?
591
00:28:19,260 --> 00:28:21,090
I think Nancy has been...
592
00:28:25,887 --> 00:28:26,727
Repossessed.
593
00:28:27,878 --> 00:28:29,608
Repossessed?
594
00:28:36,415 --> 00:28:37,415
Repossessed?
595
00:28:37,435 --> 00:28:39,212
How can you be sure?
596
00:28:39,222 --> 00:28:41,383
She's displaying
all the main traits...
597
00:28:41,403 --> 00:28:43,463
An ungodly voice,
598
00:28:43,483 --> 00:28:45,033
Maniacal
facial expressions,
599
00:28:45,063 --> 00:28:46,183
Violent spasms...
600
00:28:46,213 --> 00:28:47,420
But that doesn't
prove a thing.
601
00:28:47,620 --> 00:28:47,630
She could be related to Joe cocker.
But that doesn't prove a thing.
602
00:28:47,830 --> 00:28:50,090
She could be
related to Joe cocker.
603
00:28:50,110 --> 00:28:51,880
No.
604
00:28:51,910 --> 00:28:53,900
Could it be
she has p.M.S.?
605
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:55,528
Father, I've seen her!
606
00:28:55,548 --> 00:28:56,488
She's suffering
607
00:28:56,508 --> 00:28:57,897
From something unholy.
608
00:28:57,917 --> 00:28:59,598
Satan has taken
her soul again!
609
00:28:59,618 --> 00:29:00,648
You have to help her!
610
00:29:00,668 --> 00:29:01,827
I can't.
611
00:29:01,847 --> 00:29:02,787
But you must!
612
00:29:02,807 --> 00:29:04,555
I can't!
613
00:29:04,575 --> 00:29:06,635
I said it, damn you.
614
00:29:07,965 --> 00:29:08,905
Father,
are you all right?
615
00:29:08,925 --> 00:29:10,285
It's my heart.
616
00:29:10,305 --> 00:29:13,322
It began at Nancy's exorcism.
617
00:29:13,342 --> 00:29:15,263
That's why
I can't help you.
618
00:29:15,293 --> 00:29:17,633
If Satan should find me
in this weakened condition,
619
00:29:17,663 --> 00:29:19,043
He could take
possession of my soul
620
00:29:19,073 --> 00:29:20,741
And become even stronger.
621
00:29:20,761 --> 00:29:22,560
But if you can't
help her, who can?
622
00:29:22,580 --> 00:29:23,620
I don't know.
623
00:29:23,650 --> 00:29:27,427
I don't.
624
00:29:27,457 --> 00:29:30,467
But... good lord, yes!
625
00:29:30,497 --> 00:29:32,548
You could do it.
626
00:29:32,568 --> 00:29:34,858
You're young.
You're strong.
627
00:29:36,315 --> 00:29:37,885
Luke...
628
00:29:37,915 --> 00:29:39,655
It is your destiny.
629
00:29:39,675 --> 00:29:40,904
There's no way.
630
00:29:40,924 --> 00:29:44,463
You see, there's something
that I haven't told you.
631
00:29:44,473 --> 00:29:45,012
I think I've
lost my faith.
632
00:29:45,212 --> 00:29:45,222
Luke!
I think I've lost my faith.
633
00:29:45,422 --> 00:29:47,212
Luke!
634
00:29:47,233 --> 00:29:49,662
I never want to hear you
635
00:29:49,692 --> 00:29:51,590
Say anything
like that again.
636
00:29:54,041 --> 00:29:55,940
Now, why...
637
00:29:55,970 --> 00:29:58,310
Why don't you...
638
00:29:58,340 --> 00:30:01,827
Look at it like this.
639
00:30:01,857 --> 00:30:04,957
Maybe this is God's way
of reaffirming your faith.
640
00:30:04,987 --> 00:30:06,988
While you're
saving Nancy's soul,
641
00:30:07,008 --> 00:30:09,695
You're also saving your own
soul at the same time.
642
00:30:09,715 --> 00:30:11,845
After all, God does work
in strange ways, doesn't he?
643
00:30:11,865 --> 00:30:14,054
Yes. Yes, he does.
644
00:30:14,074 --> 00:30:15,972
Good.
645
00:30:19,383 --> 00:30:21,093
You've given me a lot
to think about, father.
646
00:30:21,113 --> 00:30:22,943
Good night, and, uh...
647
00:30:22,973 --> 00:30:24,100
God bless you.
648
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:25,310
God bless you, son.
649
00:30:27,070 --> 00:30:28,869
Now, you have a great
deal of work to do.
650
00:30:30,650 --> 00:30:31,868
And Luke...
651
00:30:31,898 --> 00:30:33,857
May the faith be with you.
652
00:30:41,366 --> 00:30:42,615
Man, on TV: This just in.
653
00:30:42,815 --> 00:30:42,825
Father mayii has once again
Man, on TV: This just in.
654
00:30:43,025 --> 00:30:45,445
Father mayii has once again
655
00:30:45,465 --> 00:30:48,612
Wormed his way out of
yet another exorcism.
656
00:30:51,002 --> 00:30:53,573
Father mayii.
657
00:30:53,593 --> 00:30:54,913
Yes?
658
00:30:54,933 --> 00:30:57,730
Wasn't it hard to...
To live with yourself
659
00:30:57,750 --> 00:30:59,680
After completely
wimping out
660
00:30:59,700 --> 00:31:01,700
And allowing a wuss
like father Luke
661
00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:04,007
To go up against Satan
all by himself?
662
00:31:04,027 --> 00:31:05,498
I mean, didn't
you feel like
663
00:31:05,528 --> 00:31:07,518
A complete piece
of gutless, spineless,
664
00:31:07,548 --> 00:31:09,158
Primordial slime?
665
00:31:12,245 --> 00:31:13,795
Next question.
666
00:31:13,815 --> 00:31:17,475
Mayii: Luke knew little
about the ritual of exorcism,
667
00:31:17,505 --> 00:31:18,975
So he arranged for a meeting
668
00:31:18,995 --> 00:31:21,562
With the supreme council
for exorcism grantings.
669
00:31:25,313 --> 00:31:27,490
You looking for father Luke?
670
00:31:29,951 --> 00:31:31,200
Wrong window.
671
00:31:31,220 --> 00:31:33,340
He's 4 windows
to your right.
672
00:31:38,007 --> 00:31:40,207
Mayii: His stomach was acting
up like a schnauzer in heat.
673
00:31:40,407 --> 00:31:40,417
Would they believe him? Mayii: His stomach
was acting up like a schnauzer in heat.
674
00:31:40,617 --> 00:31:42,968
Would they believe him?
675
00:31:42,998 --> 00:31:44,606
Would they mock him?
676
00:31:44,636 --> 00:31:46,745
Would they validate his parking?
677
00:31:48,275 --> 00:31:50,504
He turned to the good book
for comfort.
678
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:02,690
Father brophy?
679
00:32:02,710 --> 00:32:03,770
Please come in.
680
00:32:05,169 --> 00:32:07,738
Father brophy,
I am father Crosby.
681
00:32:07,758 --> 00:32:09,887
Father stills...
682
00:32:09,907 --> 00:32:11,618
Father Nash...
683
00:32:11,638 --> 00:32:12,838
And father young.
684
00:32:18,606 --> 00:32:20,065
Brophy, rapping:
I'm gonna tell you all
685
00:32:20,085 --> 00:32:21,855
about a mother who's fly
686
00:32:21,875 --> 00:32:23,135
I'm talkin' 'bout
my home boy
687
00:32:23,155 --> 00:32:24,162
father mayii
688
00:32:24,182 --> 00:32:25,592
he cast out the devil
689
00:32:25,622 --> 00:32:26,912
and he didn't even yell
690
00:32:26,932 --> 00:32:27,973
and now the fool is coolin'
691
00:32:27,983 --> 00:32:29,122
in a place called hell
692
00:32:29,132 --> 00:32:30,593
all the catholics
in the house
693
00:32:30,613 --> 00:32:31,463
say ho-o
694
00:32:31,481 --> 00:32:32,891
All: Ho-o!
695
00:32:38,009 --> 00:32:39,489
Crosby:
Does anyone know where...
696
00:32:39,507 --> 00:32:41,207
Oh, there you are, Ernest.
697
00:32:41,237 --> 00:32:45,148
I'm sure you know Ernest
and Fanny rae weller.
698
00:32:45,168 --> 00:32:46,818
Hello.
Hello!
699
00:32:47,795 --> 00:32:50,235
Oh, foo-foo
says hello, too!
700
00:32:50,255 --> 00:32:52,694
All: Hi, foo-foo!
701
00:32:53,815 --> 00:32:55,455
Sit, sit,
sit, sit, sit.
702
00:32:55,475 --> 00:32:57,272
With all due
respect, father,
703
00:32:57,302 --> 00:32:58,652
What are they doing here?
704
00:32:58,672 --> 00:33:00,573
The wellers are our guests.
705
00:33:00,593 --> 00:33:03,202
It's all part of the
interfaith exchange program
706
00:33:03,222 --> 00:33:04,540
The church has adopted.
707
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:05,981
I see.
708
00:33:06,001 --> 00:33:07,800
We understand that you are
presenting evidence
709
00:33:07,820 --> 00:33:10,940
Regarding possible
demonic possession.
710
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:11,797
Please begin.
711
00:33:22,355 --> 00:33:24,605
I was minding my business
712
00:33:24,625 --> 00:33:27,074
when the devil
walked in on me
713
00:33:27,094 --> 00:33:28,372
waving his hands, said
714
00:33:28,402 --> 00:33:30,303
come on, just follow me
715
00:33:30,323 --> 00:33:32,443
so i... i looked him
in the eyes
716
00:33:32,463 --> 00:33:34,713
and I showed him to the door
717
00:33:34,743 --> 00:33:35,403
and I told him to get lost
718
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:35,610
'cause I've been there once
before and I told him to get lost
719
00:33:35,810 --> 00:33:37,630
'cause I've been there
once before
720
00:33:37,650 --> 00:33:38,590
don't wanna be
721
00:33:38,610 --> 00:33:39,830
re-re-re
722
00:33:39,850 --> 00:33:42,110
repossessed
723
00:33:42,130 --> 00:33:43,668
re-re-re
724
00:33:43,698 --> 00:33:44,638
repossessed
725
00:33:44,658 --> 00:33:46,367
Brophy:
And for these reasons...
726
00:33:46,387 --> 00:33:48,668
I feel an exorcism
is warranted.
727
00:33:48,688 --> 00:33:50,517
Do you have
any further information
728
00:33:50,547 --> 00:33:52,665
That we might
want to consider?
729
00:33:52,685 --> 00:33:55,125
Did I mention that
Mrs. aglet also...
730
00:33:55,145 --> 00:33:56,085
Gave me a little head?
731
00:34:03,052 --> 00:34:05,562
I pray you grant
this exorcism.
732
00:34:05,582 --> 00:34:06,653
If I may...
733
00:34:09,270 --> 00:34:12,250
It is my opinion that
he has indeed proved
734
00:34:12,270 --> 00:34:15,289
That an exorcism
is necessary.
735
00:34:15,309 --> 00:34:17,107
Furthermore...
736
00:34:17,137 --> 00:34:19,928
Why don't we televise
this exorcism?
737
00:34:19,948 --> 00:34:21,148
Both: Hmm.
738
00:34:28,465 --> 00:34:29,404
Come on.
739
00:34:35,192 --> 00:34:37,113
Well, Mr. financial
advisor.
740
00:34:37,133 --> 00:34:38,702
What do you think
of my plan?
741
00:34:38,732 --> 00:34:40,660
Ever since your little
midnight liaisons
742
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:43,130
With that boy's choir
went public,
743
00:34:43,150 --> 00:34:45,810
The ministry's contributions
have gone down dramatically.
744
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:49,107
Your plan better net
$6 million in 2 weeks,
745
00:34:49,127 --> 00:34:50,097
Because if it doesn't,
746
00:34:50,127 --> 00:34:52,757
The word on the street is...
747
00:34:52,787 --> 00:34:55,766
Your ministry is history.
748
00:34:55,786 --> 00:34:57,395
Aaron, why don't
you just...
749
00:34:57,415 --> 00:34:58,645
Lighten up.
750
00:35:00,335 --> 00:35:01,335
Fanny rae:
Come on, now,
751
00:35:01,355 --> 00:35:03,024
Go get the ball
from daddy.
752
00:35:03,054 --> 00:35:04,312
Come on!
Ha ha!
753
00:35:05,482 --> 00:35:07,472
Oh, no... Oh...
Oh, Ernest!
754
00:35:07,492 --> 00:35:10,683
Look what I did
to my new dress!
755
00:35:10,703 --> 00:35:14,520
And do you know how much
this cost our followers?
756
00:35:14,540 --> 00:35:16,819
Oh, no, just
look at this mess.
757
00:35:16,849 --> 00:35:17,579
What am I gonna do?
758
00:35:21,547 --> 00:35:22,897
Foo-foo?
759
00:35:22,927 --> 00:35:24,568
Foo-foo!
760
00:35:24,588 --> 00:35:27,477
Ernie, where's foo-foo?
761
00:35:30,216 --> 00:35:32,975
Audience: Bye, foo-foo!
762
00:35:33,005 --> 00:35:34,765
So, Mr. weller.
763
00:35:34,805 --> 00:35:37,012
They say you have a great
idea for my network.
764
00:35:37,032 --> 00:35:38,292
Well, Mr. tartastein,
765
00:35:38,322 --> 00:35:40,563
This special
is called...
766
00:35:40,592 --> 00:35:42,963
Ernest and Fanny's
exorcism tonight.
767
00:35:42,993 --> 00:35:44,791
It will be
broadcast live
768
00:35:44,811 --> 00:35:47,350
Throughout the entire
world via satellite.
769
00:35:47,370 --> 00:35:49,620
It will air continuously
until the final outcome.
770
00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:51,539
All the
commercial proceeds
771
00:35:51,559 --> 00:35:53,077
Go to your network.
772
00:35:53,097 --> 00:35:54,968
And all
the phone donations
773
00:35:54,988 --> 00:35:56,148
Come to my ministry.
774
00:35:57,838 --> 00:35:59,128
You don't mind
doing business
775
00:35:59,148 --> 00:36:00,715
With the devil, do you,
Mr. tartastein?
776
00:36:00,745 --> 00:36:02,005
Ha. Are you kidding?
777
00:36:02,025 --> 00:36:03,825
How do you think love boat
got on the air?
778
00:36:04,844 --> 00:36:06,865
So, do we have a deal?
779
00:36:06,885 --> 00:36:08,563
We have a deal.
780
00:36:08,583 --> 00:36:10,642
May Ernest and Fanny's
exorcism tonight
781
00:36:10,662 --> 00:36:13,713
Be this network's
biggest ratings bonanza!
782
00:36:20,290 --> 00:36:21,230
Father mayii?
783
00:36:21,260 --> 00:36:22,420
Yes?
784
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:23,887
Have you adhered
strictly
785
00:36:23,907 --> 00:36:25,657
To your vow of celibacy?
786
00:36:25,667 --> 00:36:26,767
Yes, I have.
787
00:36:26,797 --> 00:36:28,198
Me, too.
788
00:36:28,398 --> 00:36:28,408
I'm not surprised.
Me, too.
789
00:36:28,608 --> 00:36:29,968
I'm not surprised.
790
00:36:29,988 --> 00:36:32,336
Mine was by choice.
791
00:36:35,175 --> 00:36:36,145
Mrs. aglet?
792
00:36:38,624 --> 00:36:40,402
Heh heh.
793
00:36:40,422 --> 00:36:42,253
Hear my words,
demon.
794
00:36:42,283 --> 00:36:44,983
I will cast thee from
this poor woman's soul,
795
00:36:44,993 --> 00:36:47,063
Because thou art
the prince of darkness,
796
00:36:47,083 --> 00:36:48,980
The epitome
of all evil.
797
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:51,700
Eat shit and die.
798
00:36:52,999 --> 00:36:55,850
Let's see
Geraldo Rivera top this.
799
00:36:57,707 --> 00:37:00,758
Wait till they
get a load of me.
800
00:37:03,467 --> 00:37:05,946
I had no way of knowing
801
00:37:05,956 --> 00:37:09,205
The forces of evil were
growing ever more powerful.
802
00:37:09,225 --> 00:37:11,665
But somehow I sensed...
803
00:37:11,685 --> 00:37:14,162
It was not Nancy aglet
the devil wanted.
804
00:37:14,182 --> 00:37:15,953
He wanted me,
805
00:37:15,973 --> 00:37:18,093
And, by God,
I had to be ready.
806
00:37:18,123 --> 00:37:21,900
So I decided to not only
revitalize my faith
807
00:37:21,930 --> 00:37:25,100
But to restore my physical
strength as well.
808
00:37:25,130 --> 00:37:28,047
As they say
in greenwich village...
809
00:37:28,067 --> 00:37:30,868
To tighten and tone my buns.
810
00:37:30,888 --> 00:37:32,848
Excuse me. Uh,
I'm father mayii.
811
00:37:32,868 --> 00:37:33,908
I called...
812
00:37:33,928 --> 00:37:34,868
Hey, padre!
813
00:37:34,888 --> 00:37:36,015
How you doin'?
814
00:37:36,035 --> 00:37:36,975
I've been
expecting you.
815
00:37:36,995 --> 00:37:38,545
Are you ready for
the workout now?
816
00:37:38,565 --> 00:37:39,755
What are we gonna
work on today?
817
00:37:39,785 --> 00:37:40,715
Pecmans?
818
00:37:40,745 --> 00:37:41,934
Buttissimo?
819
00:37:41,954 --> 00:37:43,055
Ah, the old
abba dabbas
820
00:37:43,075 --> 00:37:44,683
Look a little
soft, huh?
821
00:37:44,713 --> 00:37:45,642
I beg your pardon...
822
00:37:45,672 --> 00:37:46,692
First things first.
823
00:37:46,722 --> 00:37:47,822
Let's put this
on your wrist.
824
00:37:47,842 --> 00:37:48,843
What is that?
825
00:37:48,863 --> 00:37:50,642
Ok, this is a digital
heart monitor.
826
00:37:50,662 --> 00:37:51,722
When your heart rate
827
00:37:51,742 --> 00:37:53,230
Reaches a certain
stress level,
828
00:37:53,250 --> 00:37:54,221
It beeps.
829
00:37:54,251 --> 00:37:55,181
The harder you pump,
830
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:56,790
The faster it beeps.
831
00:37:56,810 --> 00:37:57,940
Oh.
832
00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:58,930
Hi there, sailor.
833
00:38:01,217 --> 00:38:03,087
Heh. Heh. Sailor.
834
00:38:03,107 --> 00:38:04,528
You know...
835
00:38:04,548 --> 00:38:06,578
He must think this
is a naval uniform.
836
00:38:17,092 --> 00:38:18,223
Oh...
837
00:38:21,183 --> 00:38:22,193
Hey, your holiness.
838
00:38:22,213 --> 00:38:23,223
You ok?
839
00:38:24,770 --> 00:38:26,740
Well, let's rock
and roll! Come on!
840
00:38:26,750 --> 00:38:28,999
No, no, I don't want to go
to the women's gymnasium.
841
00:38:29,029 --> 00:38:31,440
Ah, your h-ness,
this is the 90s.
842
00:38:31,460 --> 00:38:32,938
Everybody's doing it
together. Come on.
843
00:38:32,958 --> 00:38:34,567
Oh, i... i just
remembered.
844
00:38:34,587 --> 00:38:35,527
I have another
appointment.
845
00:38:35,557 --> 00:38:36,588
Padre, listen to me.
First of all,
846
00:38:36,618 --> 00:38:37,708
You can't work out in this.
847
00:38:37,728 --> 00:38:39,187
Let's go put some real
workout clothes on.
848
00:38:39,207 --> 00:38:40,365
How you doing?
849
00:38:40,385 --> 00:38:41,515
Mind keeping that
door closed, please?
850
00:38:41,535 --> 00:38:43,405
What do you say
we start sweating...
851
00:38:43,425 --> 00:38:45,035
For the lord.
But I really...
852
00:38:45,065 --> 00:38:45,835
Come on. Here we go.
853
00:38:48,802 --> 00:38:49,862
Excuse me.
854
00:38:49,882 --> 00:38:51,112
Hi, father.
855
00:38:51,132 --> 00:38:52,902
Is there a convention
in town?
856
00:38:54,853 --> 00:38:56,301
pump up the jam
857
00:38:56,321 --> 00:38:57,291
pump it up
858
00:38:57,311 --> 00:38:58,730
while your feet are thumpin'
859
00:38:58,760 --> 00:39:00,710
and the jam is pumpin'
860
00:39:00,730 --> 00:39:02,310
look at here
the crowd is jumpin'
861
00:39:02,330 --> 00:39:03,269
pump it up
862
00:39:03,289 --> 00:39:04,487
a little more
863
00:39:04,507 --> 00:39:06,538
get the party going
on the dance floor
864
00:39:06,568 --> 00:39:07,887
see, 'cause that's
where the party's at
865
00:39:07,907 --> 00:39:10,218
and you'll find out
if you do that
866
00:39:10,238 --> 00:39:11,178
I don't want
867
00:39:11,208 --> 00:39:12,325
All right, father.
868
00:39:12,355 --> 00:39:13,255
You wanna concentrate now.
869
00:39:13,275 --> 00:39:15,555
Back straight, stomach in
nice and tight, ok?
870
00:39:15,585 --> 00:39:17,444
This is a great exercise
for the inner thigh.
871
00:39:17,474 --> 00:39:18,595
When I count to 3,
872
00:39:18,625 --> 00:39:19,725
Breathe normally,
873
00:39:19,745 --> 00:39:20,983
And ease out slowly.
874
00:39:21,183 --> 00:39:21,193
Ready? Come on, now.
And ease out slowly.
875
00:39:21,393 --> 00:39:22,372
Ready? Come on, now.
876
00:39:22,392 --> 00:39:23,362
One...
877
00:39:23,392 --> 00:39:25,353
2...
Ah!
878
00:39:25,383 --> 00:39:27,082
make my day
879
00:39:27,102 --> 00:39:28,042
make my
880
00:39:28,062 --> 00:39:29,190
Well...
881
00:39:29,210 --> 00:39:30,501
Hello there.
882
00:39:30,531 --> 00:39:32,100
How you doing?
883
00:39:32,130 --> 00:39:34,440
I always wanted to have
a personal trainer.
884
00:39:34,460 --> 00:39:36,040
Excuse me,
I'm looking for a man.
885
00:39:36,060 --> 00:39:37,157
Oh, no, you go find
one of your own.
886
00:39:37,187 --> 00:39:39,207
This one's
already taken.
887
00:39:39,227 --> 00:39:41,097
Check, please.
888
00:39:41,117 --> 00:39:42,828
while your feet
are thumpin'
889
00:39:42,858 --> 00:39:44,616
and the jam is pumpin'
890
00:39:44,636 --> 00:39:46,605
look at here
the crowd is jumpin'
891
00:39:46,615 --> 00:39:48,735
pump it up a little more
892
00:39:48,765 --> 00:39:50,285
get the party goin'
on the dance floor
893
00:39:50,305 --> 00:39:51,464
see, 'cause that's where
the party's at
894
00:39:51,484 --> 00:39:52,552
Slowly.
895
00:39:52,572 --> 00:39:54,503
There you go.
896
00:39:56,353 --> 00:39:58,403
Let's go for 10, ok?
897
00:39:58,423 --> 00:40:00,610
Father mayii,
I'm so glad I found you.
898
00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:02,160
I went to visit you
at the home, but...
899
00:40:02,180 --> 00:40:04,200
The sister at the front
desk said you were here.
900
00:40:04,220 --> 00:40:05,639
Luke, you look
troubled.
901
00:40:05,659 --> 00:40:07,690
But then, you've always
looked troubled.
902
00:40:07,710 --> 00:40:10,497
The supreme council
has granted the exorcism.
903
00:40:10,527 --> 00:40:12,328
Well, thank God.
904
00:40:12,348 --> 00:40:13,388
There's a catch,
I'm afraid.
905
00:40:13,408 --> 00:40:15,107
Have you heard of
Ernest weller?
906
00:40:15,127 --> 00:40:18,085
The evangelist with the
wife and matching dog?
907
00:40:18,105 --> 00:40:21,795
Weller has convinced them
to televise the exorcism.
908
00:40:21,825 --> 00:40:23,135
What?
909
00:40:23,165 --> 00:40:24,802
My God!
910
00:40:24,822 --> 00:40:26,882
That charlatan!
911
00:40:26,912 --> 00:40:28,423
That hypocrite!
912
00:40:28,443 --> 00:40:30,663
Ah!
913
00:40:30,683 --> 00:40:32,013
There. You see?
914
00:40:32,033 --> 00:40:33,791
Someone else who knows
that it's wrong.
915
00:40:33,821 --> 00:40:35,720
You're a good man,
Larry.
916
00:40:35,740 --> 00:40:37,280
It's a sacrilege.
917
00:40:37,310 --> 00:40:38,440
It's a travesty.
918
00:40:38,470 --> 00:40:40,937
Televised exorcism?
919
00:40:40,957 --> 00:40:43,238
I can't believe that
they'd do such a thing!
920
00:40:43,258 --> 00:40:45,158
Well, they claim that it
will convert millions.
921
00:40:45,178 --> 00:40:47,048
Millions!
In weller's pocket!
922
00:40:47,068 --> 00:40:48,645
The man is a thief!
923
00:40:48,665 --> 00:40:50,085
He's a swindler!
924
00:40:50,105 --> 00:40:52,775
He's a crook posing
as a man of God!
925
00:40:52,795 --> 00:40:53,754
That's the spirit,
father!
926
00:40:53,784 --> 00:40:55,335
Together, we can do it!
927
00:40:55,355 --> 00:40:56,383
No, Luke.
928
00:40:56,413 --> 00:40:57,343
Ah!
929
00:40:59,442 --> 00:41:01,313
Think of Nancy, father.
930
00:41:01,333 --> 00:41:03,042
You're the only one
with the experience.
931
00:41:03,072 --> 00:41:05,380
No, Luke, I do not
have the strength.
932
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:06,821
You must do it.
933
00:41:06,841 --> 00:41:08,900
Raise up your faith, Luke.
934
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:11,400
Make it a giant
sword against Satan.
935
00:41:11,420 --> 00:41:12,357
Remember...
936
00:41:12,377 --> 00:41:14,657
Faith can move mountains.
937
00:41:14,687 --> 00:41:16,037
Yeah!
938
00:41:18,748 --> 00:41:19,678
pump up the jam
939
00:41:19,708 --> 00:41:20,736
pump it up
940
00:41:20,766 --> 00:41:22,335
while your feet
are thumpin'
941
00:41:22,355 --> 00:41:23,875
and the jam is pumpin'
942
00:41:23,905 --> 00:41:25,635
look at here
the crowd is jumpin'
943
00:41:25,655 --> 00:41:26,595
pump it up
944
00:41:26,615 --> 00:41:28,034
a little more
945
00:41:28,054 --> 00:41:29,602
get your party goin'
on the dance floor
946
00:41:29,622 --> 00:41:31,233
see, 'cause that's
where the party's at
947
00:41:31,253 --> 00:41:33,123
and you'll find out
if you do that
948
00:41:33,143 --> 00:41:35,043
I don't want
949
00:41:35,063 --> 00:41:36,990
a place to stay
950
00:41:37,020 --> 00:41:39,550
get your Booty
on the floor tonight
951
00:41:39,580 --> 00:41:40,870
make my day
952
00:41:40,890 --> 00:41:42,470
I don't want
953
00:41:42,490 --> 00:41:44,330
a place to stay
954
00:41:44,350 --> 00:41:46,627
get your Booty
on the floor tonight
955
00:41:46,647 --> 00:41:47,587
make my day
956
00:41:47,607 --> 00:41:49,508
6...7...
957
00:41:49,528 --> 00:41:50,588
Good, let's switch!
958
00:41:50,618 --> 00:41:52,257
One... 2...
959
00:41:52,277 --> 00:41:54,075
3...4...
960
00:41:54,095 --> 00:41:56,135
5...6...
961
00:41:56,155 --> 00:41:57,985
7...
And reach to the side.
962
00:41:58,015 --> 00:41:58,945
And one! Come on!
963
00:41:58,975 --> 00:42:01,572
Bend! 3 and 4!
964
00:42:01,592 --> 00:42:03,172
5, 6, 7.
965
00:42:03,192 --> 00:42:04,923
Twist again.
966
00:42:04,953 --> 00:42:06,473
Feel it,
come on, work it!
967
00:42:06,493 --> 00:42:08,511
4...5...
968
00:42:08,531 --> 00:42:09,571
6...7...
969
00:42:09,591 --> 00:42:12,220
Now the upper arms reach.
970
00:42:12,240 --> 00:42:13,780
Come on. 3, 3, 5.
971
00:42:13,980 --> 00:42:13,990
6. Forward!
Come on. 3, 3, 5.
972
00:42:14,190 --> 00:42:16,577
6. Forward!
973
00:42:16,597 --> 00:42:17,537
Forward.
974
00:42:17,557 --> 00:42:19,428
2, 3, faster!
975
00:42:19,448 --> 00:42:21,158
1, 2, 3, 4.
976
00:42:21,178 --> 00:42:22,718
Come on, summer's coming!
977
00:42:22,748 --> 00:42:24,168
Get those butts in gear!
978
00:42:24,188 --> 00:42:25,625
2, 3, 4.
979
00:42:25,645 --> 00:42:27,585
Let's work with
doggy kicks.
980
00:42:27,605 --> 00:42:28,645
Come on!
981
00:42:28,665 --> 00:42:30,104
And higher!
982
00:42:30,124 --> 00:42:31,685
3...4...
983
00:42:31,705 --> 00:42:33,343
5...Come on!
984
00:42:33,373 --> 00:42:35,292
Get it up!
985
00:42:35,312 --> 00:42:36,252
Here we go!
986
00:42:36,272 --> 00:42:37,663
8...7...
987
00:42:37,683 --> 00:42:39,542
6...5...
988
00:42:39,572 --> 00:42:41,150
4... You've got 3!
989
00:42:41,180 --> 00:42:42,601
2... One...
990
00:42:42,611 --> 00:42:44,060
8 more!
8... Whoo!
991
00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:45,210
7...
992
00:42:45,240 --> 00:42:46,980
I can't do it
alone, father.
993
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:48,577
You can, Luke.
And you must.
994
00:42:48,597 --> 00:42:49,917
But I'm afraid
to be defeated
995
00:42:49,937 --> 00:42:51,037
In front of millions.
996
00:42:51,067 --> 00:42:52,928
That didn't stop Mike Tyson.
997
00:42:52,958 --> 00:42:54,598
Luke, remember...
998
00:42:54,618 --> 00:42:57,636
When you fall on your face,
you're still moving forward.
999
00:42:57,656 --> 00:43:00,575
My heart is weak,
and I'm too old.
1000
00:43:00,595 --> 00:43:02,655
And I will not participate
in this... This...
1001
00:43:02,675 --> 00:43:03,674
Sacrilegious circus.
1002
00:43:03,704 --> 00:43:05,242
You see, now I've
lost my glasses.
1003
00:43:05,262 --> 00:43:07,003
Please, I want you
to leave me alone.
1004
00:43:07,033 --> 00:43:08,412
I don't want to hear
any more about it.
1005
00:43:30,395 --> 00:43:31,835
pump up the jam
1006
00:43:31,855 --> 00:43:32,865
pump it up
1007
00:43:32,885 --> 00:43:34,205
Young man...
1008
00:43:34,225 --> 00:43:35,995
I was just in the
locker room there,
1009
00:43:36,025 --> 00:43:37,882
And all my clothes
have been stolen.
1010
00:43:37,912 --> 00:43:38,842
I want you to know,
1011
00:43:38,872 --> 00:43:40,923
I think that, uh, someone
here in the gymnasium
1012
00:43:40,953 --> 00:43:42,492
Has a very
serious problem.
1013
00:43:42,512 --> 00:43:44,033
Padre...
1014
00:43:44,053 --> 00:43:46,430
I think it's you with
the serious problem.
1015
00:43:46,450 --> 00:43:47,390
What?
Father?
1016
00:43:47,410 --> 00:43:48,340
Are these your
glasses?
1017
00:43:48,370 --> 00:43:49,270
Oh, thank you,
my child.
1018
00:43:49,290 --> 00:43:50,490
What problem?
1019
00:43:50,510 --> 00:43:51,639
I don't have
any problems.
1020
00:43:51,659 --> 00:43:53,077
I... i...
1021
00:43:54,197 --> 00:43:55,358
Oh...
1022
00:43:58,198 --> 00:43:59,138
Oh!
1023
00:43:59,158 --> 00:44:00,098
Are you all right,
father?
1024
00:44:00,118 --> 00:44:01,045
Easy, your holiness.
1025
00:44:02,035 --> 00:44:03,515
Easy, man.
1026
00:44:04,565 --> 00:44:05,694
Father?
1027
00:44:05,714 --> 00:44:07,295
Oh, mommy!
1028
00:44:07,315 --> 00:44:08,595
Oh, mommy, no!
1029
00:44:08,623 --> 00:44:10,582
N-n-not my mommy!
1030
00:44:10,612 --> 00:44:11,642
Daddy...
1031
00:44:15,602 --> 00:44:17,020
yo, pump it, pump it
1032
00:44:19,950 --> 00:44:21,980
Announcer: Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
1033
00:44:22,010 --> 00:44:23,130
I'm army archerd,
1034
00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:27,097
Welcoming you to the greatest
television event of all time.
1035
00:44:27,117 --> 00:44:30,517
Ernest and Fanny's
exorcism tonight!
1036
00:44:32,498 --> 00:44:34,295
We have a tremendous
audience here
1037
00:44:34,315 --> 00:44:36,185
At global television studios,
1038
00:44:36,205 --> 00:44:37,535
Waiting in anticipation
1039
00:44:37,555 --> 00:44:40,094
Of the greatest names
in show biz.
1040
00:44:41,612 --> 00:44:43,353
Is it... and look who's there!
1041
00:44:43,373 --> 00:44:44,923
It's Sean penn!
1042
00:44:45,743 --> 00:44:49,170
Whoa!
1043
00:44:49,200 --> 00:44:50,620
And wait a minute!
1044
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:51,700
Here they are,
1045
00:44:51,730 --> 00:44:54,289
The courageous couple who will
be dueling with the devil!
1046
00:44:57,608 --> 00:45:00,277
Ernest and Fanny rae weller!
1047
00:45:08,785 --> 00:45:09,825
Could we get you
to come up?
1048
00:45:09,845 --> 00:45:10,775
Can we get you
to come up?
1049
00:45:10,795 --> 00:45:12,665
Oh, good.
1050
00:45:12,685 --> 00:45:14,072
How are ya?
How are ya?
1051
00:45:14,092 --> 00:45:15,092
Hi, Ernest.
1052
00:45:15,112 --> 00:45:16,052
Hi! Ha ha!
1053
00:45:16,072 --> 00:45:17,562
Hi! Hi, everybody!
1054
00:45:17,582 --> 00:45:18,713
How are you?
1055
00:45:18,743 --> 00:45:20,413
Just fine. Hello.
1056
00:45:20,433 --> 00:45:23,350
And everybody say hello
to kit-Kat!
1057
00:45:23,370 --> 00:45:26,040
All: Hello, kit-Kat!
1058
00:45:27,219 --> 00:45:28,569
First off, do you
have some words
1059
00:45:28,589 --> 00:45:29,527
For the group here?
1060
00:45:29,547 --> 00:45:31,898
Fanny: Oh, yes, I do.
1061
00:45:31,918 --> 00:45:35,798
I want you to go home
and tune in the show!
1062
00:45:42,825 --> 00:45:44,565
Oh, poo.
1063
00:45:44,585 --> 00:45:46,862
This ensemble just
doesn't look right.
1064
00:45:46,892 --> 00:45:49,043
You mind if
I change, honey?
1065
00:45:49,073 --> 00:45:51,382
Just hurry up. We're on
the air in 5 minutes.
1066
00:45:51,402 --> 00:45:52,342
Ok.
1067
00:45:54,030 --> 00:45:56,120
You know, Ernie, I just
feel a little bit nervous
1068
00:45:56,140 --> 00:45:58,260
About coming face to face,
1069
00:45:58,290 --> 00:46:00,020
You know, with the devil
and all.
1070
00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:01,877
Relax.
1071
00:46:01,907 --> 00:46:03,477
Mrs. aglet
is not the devil.
1072
00:46:03,507 --> 00:46:04,167
She is just a nut
with a bad complexion
1073
00:46:04,367 --> 00:46:04,377
Who thinks she is possessed.
She is just a nut with a bad complexion
1074
00:46:04,577 --> 00:46:06,777
Who thinks
she is possessed.
1075
00:46:06,798 --> 00:46:08,218
Oh, well,
whatever you say.
1076
00:46:09,806 --> 00:46:11,635
Oh, there!
1077
00:46:11,655 --> 00:46:14,385
Now, I'll just look perfect
when I sing my song!
1078
00:46:15,404 --> 00:46:16,664
I can't wait.
Heh heh.
1079
00:46:16,684 --> 00:46:18,032
Remember, now, honey...
1080
00:46:18,062 --> 00:46:20,332
You promised!
Ok, daddy.
1081
00:46:22,213 --> 00:46:23,993
Unh.
Unh.
1082
00:46:24,013 --> 00:46:25,070
Aw.
1083
00:46:33,898 --> 00:46:35,767
Cue.
1084
00:46:35,787 --> 00:46:37,268
Woman:
Settle down.
1085
00:46:37,288 --> 00:46:39,118
Cue announcer.
1086
00:46:39,138 --> 00:46:41,035
Live from Hollywood, it's...
1087
00:46:41,065 --> 00:46:43,446
Ernest and Fanny's
exorcism tonight!
1088
00:46:46,025 --> 00:46:47,955
Army: And now,
ladies and gentlemen,
1089
00:46:47,975 --> 00:46:50,992
Ernest and Fanny rae weller!
1090
00:46:56,583 --> 00:46:57,651
Ernest: God bless...
1091
00:46:57,671 --> 00:46:59,410
All of you.
1092
00:46:59,430 --> 00:47:01,260
Every one of you.
1093
00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:02,960
My friends...
1094
00:47:02,980 --> 00:47:04,917
Tonight...
1095
00:47:04,937 --> 00:47:07,088
Is soon to become...
1096
00:47:07,118 --> 00:47:09,808
The single most
important night
1097
00:47:09,828 --> 00:47:11,798
In the history of mankind...
1098
00:47:11,818 --> 00:47:14,645
Because tonight...
1099
00:47:14,665 --> 00:47:16,495
Millions of you...
1100
00:47:16,525 --> 00:47:17,934
Will witness...
1101
00:47:17,964 --> 00:47:20,585
As we rid the vile spirit...
1102
00:47:20,615 --> 00:47:22,383
Of Satan himself
1103
00:47:22,413 --> 00:47:25,363
From the soul
of Mrs. Nancy aglet!
1104
00:47:25,383 --> 00:47:26,673
All: Praise the lord!
1105
00:47:26,703 --> 00:47:30,250
And assisting us
in tonight's exorcism
1106
00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:32,400
Is father Luke brophy.
1107
00:47:37,547 --> 00:47:38,797
And now, believers...
1108
00:47:38,817 --> 00:47:41,867
And non-believers...
1109
00:47:41,897 --> 00:47:44,946
From the bowels
of hell...
1110
00:47:44,966 --> 00:47:47,415
I bring you...
1111
00:47:47,435 --> 00:47:48,335
The devil!
1112
00:48:09,578 --> 00:48:12,367
Gee, mom looks
terrible!
1113
00:48:12,397 --> 00:48:15,188
Well, they say TV does
add 10 pounds to you.
1114
00:48:15,208 --> 00:48:17,515
With the blessing
of the lord...
1115
00:48:17,545 --> 00:48:20,425
Let's start
this exorcism.
1116
00:48:23,105 --> 00:48:25,522
I command that
thy putrid spirit
1117
00:48:25,542 --> 00:48:28,712
Leave the holy being
of this child of Jesus.
1118
00:48:28,742 --> 00:48:30,892
I cast thee back to hell.
1119
00:48:30,922 --> 00:48:31,853
To hell!
1120
00:48:31,883 --> 00:48:33,641
I cast thee
back to hell!
1121
00:48:33,661 --> 00:48:35,150
To hell!
1122
00:48:35,170 --> 00:48:37,260
I cast thee
back to hell!
1123
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:38,410
Why don't you leave me
1124
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:40,009
A picture and resume
at the door
1125
00:48:40,039 --> 00:48:42,767
And I'll get back
to you, ok?
1126
00:49:51,458 --> 00:49:53,285
Oh, you think you're tough?
1127
00:49:53,305 --> 00:49:54,085
You're so tough?
1128
00:49:54,115 --> 00:49:56,455
How come you possessed
a woman's body?
1129
00:49:56,485 --> 00:49:58,765
You get off wearing
women's clothing?
1130
00:50:21,147 --> 00:50:24,328
well, they call
this guy a devil
1131
00:50:24,348 --> 00:50:26,755
and he's got
a heart of stone
1132
00:50:26,785 --> 00:50:29,795
so if you want him
to get lost
1133
00:50:29,825 --> 00:50:31,855
just go pick up your phone
1134
00:50:31,875 --> 00:50:34,153
make a pledge to Jesus
1135
00:50:34,173 --> 00:50:37,223
from the comfort
of your home
1136
00:50:37,253 --> 00:50:40,262
for if you do, I promise you
1137
00:50:40,292 --> 00:50:45,320
the devil will start to moan
1138
00:50:56,928 --> 00:50:58,446
These just
arrived for you.
1139
00:50:58,466 --> 00:51:00,135
Back on the air
in 10 seconds.
1140
00:51:02,295 --> 00:51:04,364
This is wonderful.
Wonderful!
1141
00:51:04,384 --> 00:51:05,482
What's it say, honey?
1142
00:51:05,502 --> 00:51:07,172
You'll see.
You will see.
1143
00:51:11,203 --> 00:51:13,770
Friends,
1144
00:51:13,790 --> 00:51:15,180
Fred tartastein,
1145
00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:16,810
The president
of this network,
1146
00:51:16,830 --> 00:51:19,039
Has just informed me
that we are being viewed
1147
00:51:19,069 --> 00:51:22,408
By the largest audience
in television history.
1148
00:51:26,268 --> 00:51:28,417
We got no time
to celebrate right now,
1149
00:51:28,437 --> 00:51:30,405
'Cause we have an exorcism
to perform.
1150
00:51:33,405 --> 00:51:35,625
In the name
of almighty God.
1151
00:51:37,532 --> 00:51:38,852
Ernie...
1152
00:51:46,901 --> 00:51:49,280
Watch out with those
special effects.
1153
00:51:49,310 --> 00:51:51,170
Those aren't our effects.
1154
00:52:04,025 --> 00:52:06,055
Setting off
the sprinkler system.
1155
00:52:14,393 --> 00:52:15,972
Quiet!
1156
00:52:16,002 --> 00:52:19,391
Do you realize we have
an awful lot in common?
1157
00:52:19,421 --> 00:52:21,950
We both use people
and then dump them
1158
00:52:21,980 --> 00:52:24,160
When they're no longer
of use to us.
1159
00:52:24,190 --> 00:52:26,087
I used you to get
1160
00:52:26,107 --> 00:52:28,677
The largest audience
in history.
1161
00:52:28,697 --> 00:52:31,528
And now, you're
no longer necessary.
1162
00:52:31,538 --> 00:52:33,466
What do I do
1163
00:52:33,496 --> 00:52:36,455
With a couple
of jackasses like you?
1164
00:52:36,475 --> 00:52:39,355
Ha ha ha! That's it.
1165
00:52:39,385 --> 00:52:41,602
Look! What's over there?
1166
00:52:41,622 --> 00:52:43,813
Oh!
What the...
1167
00:52:43,833 --> 00:52:45,693
Aah!
1168
00:52:48,663 --> 00:52:51,040
Walk this way!
1169
00:52:53,470 --> 00:52:55,009
Enough with the water.
1170
00:52:57,918 --> 00:53:00,767
To all the people
of the world,
1171
00:53:00,787 --> 00:53:03,298
Welcome.
1172
00:53:03,318 --> 00:53:05,465
Now that I have your
undivided attention,
1173
00:53:05,485 --> 00:53:08,316
Why don't we all get
a little bit closer?
1174
00:53:15,832 --> 00:53:17,723
Ohh.
1175
00:53:17,743 --> 00:53:21,313
That's much better.
1176
00:53:21,333 --> 00:53:23,360
Hello, I'm Barbara Walters,
1177
00:53:23,390 --> 00:53:25,120
And this is 20/20.
1178
00:53:25,140 --> 00:53:27,939
Aah. I always
wanted to do that.
1179
00:53:27,959 --> 00:53:29,507
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is father brophy,
1180
00:53:29,517 --> 00:53:30,817
We have an emergency.
1181
00:53:30,837 --> 00:53:32,448
I beg of you,
if you're a man of God,
1182
00:53:32,468 --> 00:53:34,718
Please rush to the global
television studios
1183
00:53:34,738 --> 00:53:35,848
In Hollywood, California...
1184
00:53:39,215 --> 00:53:40,765
Oh, sorry
for the young priest's
1185
00:53:40,795 --> 00:53:42,434
Emotional outburst.
1186
00:53:42,454 --> 00:53:44,805
He hasn't
done much TV, you know.
1187
00:53:44,825 --> 00:53:47,672
But I'd like all you
viewers at home now
1188
00:53:47,692 --> 00:53:50,363
To gather
around your TV sets.
1189
00:53:50,393 --> 00:53:53,560
'Cause I have something
very special to...
1190
00:53:53,580 --> 00:53:55,520
TV...
1191
00:53:55,541 --> 00:53:57,850
Satan's spirit
flew out of the TV!
1192
00:54:04,597 --> 00:54:06,997
Ahh...
1193
00:54:07,027 --> 00:54:09,596
You think you've
stopped me,
1194
00:54:09,616 --> 00:54:11,515
But think again.
'Cause I know
1195
00:54:11,535 --> 00:54:14,015
Another way to reach
those people!
1196
00:54:15,984 --> 00:54:18,012
Satan, stop!
1197
00:54:18,042 --> 00:54:20,123
Where do you think
you're going?!
1198
00:54:20,153 --> 00:54:22,653
I'm going to Disneyland!
1199
00:54:28,790 --> 00:54:30,719
Stop! Or I swear,
1200
00:54:30,739 --> 00:54:32,920
Father mayii will burn
in hell forever!
1201
00:54:32,940 --> 00:54:35,327
You can't burn
what you don't have.
1202
00:54:35,347 --> 00:54:36,727
Burn this!
1203
00:54:45,935 --> 00:54:47,995
And that's why
producers like blonde,
1204
00:54:48,015 --> 00:54:51,682
17-year-old coeds
as their assistants.
1205
00:54:51,702 --> 00:54:52,892
Look out!
1206
00:54:54,932 --> 00:54:56,603
Man, I didn't know this
tour had a stunt show!
1207
00:55:03,700 --> 00:55:06,807
chasin' the devil
chasin' the devil
1208
00:55:06,827 --> 00:55:08,248
Ha ha ha ha!
1209
00:55:08,268 --> 00:55:10,098
Whoa!
1210
00:55:10,128 --> 00:55:12,248
blood on the ground
1211
00:55:12,268 --> 00:55:15,125
sky turns black,
night burns out
1212
00:55:15,155 --> 00:55:18,494
lightning flashing
in her eyes
1213
00:55:18,514 --> 00:55:20,865
word's the devil's
at her side
1214
00:55:20,885 --> 00:55:24,532
here he comes, heaven-sent
1215
00:55:24,562 --> 00:55:27,353
proud to be so innocent
1216
00:55:27,373 --> 00:55:29,980
he don't seem to realize
1217
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:34,010
the devil's runnin'
at his side
1218
00:55:34,030 --> 00:55:37,240
chasin' the devil
chasin' the devil
1219
00:55:37,260 --> 00:55:38,847
chasin' the devil
1220
00:55:38,857 --> 00:55:40,137
Wow.
1221
00:55:40,337 --> 00:55:40,347
You guys don't waste any time.
Wow.
1222
00:55:40,547 --> 00:55:43,347
You guys don't
waste any time.
1223
00:55:43,377 --> 00:55:44,568
Come on, let's go!
1224
00:55:46,706 --> 00:55:48,565
Aah! Ha ha ha!
1225
00:55:55,532 --> 00:55:58,363
chasin' the devil
chasin' the devil
1226
00:55:58,383 --> 00:56:01,750
chasin' the devil
1227
00:56:01,770 --> 00:56:04,850
chasin' the devil
chasin' the devil
1228
00:56:04,880 --> 00:56:07,509
chasin' the devil
1229
00:56:07,539 --> 00:56:08,790
Over there!
1230
00:56:08,810 --> 00:56:10,358
Ohh, what'd I do
to deserve this?!
1231
00:56:11,697 --> 00:56:13,457
watch them now,
here they come
1232
00:56:13,487 --> 00:56:15,098
Stop, you monster!
1233
00:56:15,118 --> 00:56:17,915
think they got him
on the run
1234
00:56:17,935 --> 00:56:20,956
devil's laughing
'cause he hides
1235
00:56:20,975 --> 00:56:24,985
right next to them
at their side
1236
00:56:25,015 --> 00:56:27,732
chasin' the devil
chasin' the devil
1237
00:56:27,752 --> 00:56:31,002
chasin' the devil
1238
00:56:31,022 --> 00:56:32,853
Ah, what's the matter?
1239
00:56:32,873 --> 00:56:36,760
Can't take the heat,
rookie? Ha ha ha!
1240
00:56:36,780 --> 00:56:37,740
Ahh!
1241
00:56:37,940 --> 00:56:37,950
I, the all-powerful prince of darkness,
Ahh!
1242
00:56:38,150 --> 00:56:43,057
I, the all-powerful
prince of darkness,
1243
00:56:43,087 --> 00:56:45,777
Command all that is evil
1244
00:56:45,797 --> 00:56:49,658
To unite as one
in my presence... Now!
1245
00:56:49,678 --> 00:56:50,875
Ha ha ha ha!
1246
00:56:52,165 --> 00:56:53,615
Ah, yes!
1247
00:56:53,645 --> 00:56:55,734
Not bad, eh?
1248
00:56:55,754 --> 00:56:56,915
Now watch,
1249
00:56:56,945 --> 00:56:59,223
Through the use
of modern electronics,
1250
00:56:59,243 --> 00:57:01,432
As I turn millions
of your couch potatoes
1251
00:57:01,452 --> 00:57:04,093
Into my disciples!
Ha ha ha!
1252
00:57:06,060 --> 00:57:07,320
Yes!
1253
00:57:07,340 --> 00:57:10,170
Freeze, pukeface!
1254
00:57:10,190 --> 00:57:12,720
Think you're man enough
for a real challenge?
1255
00:57:12,750 --> 00:57:15,507
A challenge?
From you?
1256
00:57:15,527 --> 00:57:17,717
Oh, don't make me laugh.
My skin will crack.
1257
00:57:17,737 --> 00:57:19,988
Not me... Mayii.
1258
00:57:20,008 --> 00:57:21,618
Mayii?!
1259
00:57:21,638 --> 00:57:23,316
Oh, that old geezer
stopped slinging
1260
00:57:23,336 --> 00:57:24,785
Holy water years ago.
1261
00:57:24,815 --> 00:57:27,195
Not before he kicked
your slimy butt.
1262
00:57:27,215 --> 00:57:28,634
No way!
1263
00:57:28,644 --> 00:57:30,232
I-I could've taken him.
1264
00:57:30,252 --> 00:57:32,213
The fight was fixed.
1265
00:57:32,233 --> 00:57:33,782
I want a rematch!
1266
00:57:33,792 --> 00:57:34,993
You got it.
1267
00:57:37,523 --> 00:57:39,410
Ha ha ha!
1268
00:57:39,440 --> 00:57:40,940
This is it, America!
1269
00:57:40,970 --> 00:57:42,829
The event you've all
been waiting for.
1270
00:57:42,859 --> 00:57:44,470
Hi, I'm
mean gene okerlund,
1271
00:57:44,490 --> 00:57:46,388
Along with Jesse
"the body" ventura,
1272
00:57:46,408 --> 00:57:48,427
Bringing you the
ultimate confrontation
1273
00:57:48,457 --> 00:57:49,617
Of good against evil.
1274
00:57:51,368 --> 00:57:53,237
Now, there's
a man out there,
1275
00:57:53,257 --> 00:57:55,825
Who many years ago
1276
00:57:55,845 --> 00:58:00,755
Banished me from the
very soul I now possess.
1277
00:58:00,775 --> 00:58:03,672
He humiliated me!
1278
00:58:03,692 --> 00:58:07,572
And now, I've come back
to settle matters.
1279
00:58:07,592 --> 00:58:09,683
And I'm not leaving
1280
00:58:09,703 --> 00:58:13,390
Until I have his
stinking, rotten soul.
1281
00:58:13,410 --> 00:58:15,480
Father mayii!
1282
00:58:15,500 --> 00:58:17,229
Where are you?
1283
00:58:17,259 --> 00:58:19,477
I know you're watching.
1284
00:58:19,497 --> 00:58:21,897
Because this is
Wednesday night,
1285
00:58:21,927 --> 00:58:23,668
And everybody knows
the other networks
1286
00:58:23,688 --> 00:58:26,545
Don't have dick
to watch tonight.
1287
00:58:26,575 --> 00:58:29,075
So, do we
do battle again?
1288
00:58:29,095 --> 00:58:30,705
Or do you cherry out
1289
00:58:30,725 --> 00:58:32,935
And let me keep
this soul forever?
1290
00:58:33,135 --> 00:58:33,145
What do you say, mayii?
And let me keep this soul forever?
1291
00:58:33,345 --> 00:58:36,592
What do you say, mayii?
1292
00:58:36,612 --> 00:58:38,993
No...
1293
00:58:39,023 --> 00:58:41,262
No!
1294
00:58:41,282 --> 00:58:44,721
By God, you may not!
1295
00:58:44,741 --> 00:58:46,160
The belle from hell
1296
00:58:46,180 --> 00:58:47,760
Versus the dove
from above
1297
00:58:47,780 --> 00:58:50,577
In a one-soul, anything
goes match-up, Jess.
1298
00:58:50,597 --> 00:58:52,487
It doesn't get any better
than this, mean gene,
1299
00:58:52,517 --> 00:58:55,337
But everyone knows
mayii's got a bad ticker.
1300
00:58:55,367 --> 00:58:57,708
So Las Vegas oddsmakers
have listed him
1301
00:58:57,728 --> 00:58:59,625
As a 25 to 1 underdog.
1302
01:00:19,360 --> 01:00:22,000
You call this a tip,
you cheap bastard?!
1303
01:00:27,197 --> 01:00:29,387
He doesn't stand
a shot in hell!
1304
01:00:30,698 --> 01:00:33,388
Father brophy!
Luke!
1305
01:00:33,408 --> 01:00:34,536
Luke!
1306
01:00:34,556 --> 01:00:35,466
Father, what are you...
1307
01:00:35,486 --> 01:00:36,745
Were you watching on TV?
1308
01:00:36,765 --> 01:00:39,495
Yes. I had to come.
I had no choice.
1309
01:00:39,515 --> 01:00:40,974
Well, what about
your heart?
1310
01:00:40,994 --> 01:00:43,182
Don't worry about that.
I brought it with me.
1311
01:00:43,202 --> 01:00:44,423
Father,
this could kill you.
1312
01:00:44,443 --> 01:00:47,183
Yes. Yes, but that's
irrelevant.
1313
01:00:47,203 --> 01:00:49,933
Satan is fighting
to take control here.
1314
01:00:49,953 --> 01:00:51,490
Well, I'm not
so sure.
1315
01:00:51,520 --> 01:00:53,070
Remember, his
opponent is a woman.
1316
01:00:53,090 --> 01:00:54,530
Nice tits, sure,
1317
01:00:54,560 --> 01:00:55,489
But a face
I wouldn't want to
1318
01:00:55,519 --> 01:00:56,460
Wipe my feet on.
1319
01:00:56,480 --> 01:00:57,550
Ever hear of a paper bag?
1320
01:00:57,570 --> 01:00:59,338
My money's on mayii.
1321
01:00:59,358 --> 01:01:01,037
Satan: Mayii!
1322
01:01:03,358 --> 01:01:04,588
And they wonder
why priests
1323
01:01:04,608 --> 01:01:07,335
Never get married.
1324
01:01:07,355 --> 01:01:09,895
Now, Luke, I'm going
to need your assistance,
1325
01:01:09,915 --> 01:01:12,105
But if you are still
lacking in faith,
1326
01:01:12,125 --> 01:01:14,692
You may be more harm
than good.
1327
01:01:14,722 --> 01:01:16,102
Are you?
No way.
1328
01:01:16,122 --> 01:01:17,892
You can count on me.
Good.
1329
01:01:17,912 --> 01:01:19,782
Now, just remember
one thing:
1330
01:01:19,802 --> 01:01:21,583
The devil is
always trying
1331
01:01:21,603 --> 01:01:22,701
To take over your mind.
1332
01:01:22,721 --> 01:01:25,130
He'll lie to you,
he will deceive you.
1333
01:01:25,160 --> 01:01:27,270
He will totally try
to manipulate you.
1334
01:01:27,290 --> 01:01:29,259
So do not listen
to anything
1335
01:01:29,279 --> 01:01:30,537
That he has to say.
1336
01:01:30,557 --> 01:01:31,977
He's worse than
a studio executive.
1337
01:01:31,997 --> 01:01:33,098
Understood?
Understood.
1338
01:01:33,118 --> 01:01:34,338
Worse than
a real estate agent,
1339
01:01:34,358 --> 01:01:35,818
A divorce attorney...
1340
01:01:35,838 --> 01:01:37,868
I got it.
Right.
1341
01:01:37,888 --> 01:01:39,075
All right, then.
1342
01:01:41,875 --> 01:01:43,274
Let's go.
1343
01:01:48,312 --> 01:01:52,423
They're here...
1344
01:01:52,453 --> 01:01:53,542
Ah...
1345
01:01:53,562 --> 01:01:56,811
I see it pays to advertise
on television.
1346
01:01:56,831 --> 01:02:00,130
I think a little mood
lighting is appropriate.
1347
01:02:00,160 --> 01:02:01,920
Don't you?
1348
01:02:01,950 --> 01:02:03,067
There.
1349
01:02:03,097 --> 01:02:05,097
Have no fear,
my son.
1350
01:02:05,117 --> 01:02:08,738
We have the Bible,
we have our faith.
1351
01:02:08,758 --> 01:02:12,545
And as a back-up,
these beauties.
1352
01:02:12,565 --> 01:02:15,175
That's an illegal
foreign object!
1353
01:02:15,195 --> 01:02:17,254
Jesse, what do you
know about fairness?
1354
01:02:17,274 --> 01:02:20,202
I'll show you fairness!
1355
01:02:20,222 --> 01:02:22,983
Are you just
about finished?
1356
01:02:23,003 --> 01:02:25,733
It's been
a long time, mayii.
1357
01:02:25,753 --> 01:02:29,570
I've waited an eternity
to do to you
1358
01:02:29,600 --> 01:02:34,150
What you did to me
all those years ago.
1359
01:02:34,180 --> 01:02:39,168
Before I do,
I've got something...
1360
01:02:39,188 --> 01:02:41,317
Special for you.
1361
01:02:52,852 --> 01:02:54,753
That is disgusting,
mean gene!
1362
01:02:54,783 --> 01:02:56,523
I have never seen
a move like that
1363
01:02:56,543 --> 01:02:58,213
In all my years
of wrestling!
1364
01:02:58,233 --> 01:02:59,141
Whew!
1365
01:03:02,360 --> 01:03:04,290
So...
1366
01:03:04,320 --> 01:03:07,167
How do you like it?
1367
01:03:07,187 --> 01:03:10,047
Oh, you'll pay for that,
you bucket of cow dung.
1368
01:03:10,067 --> 01:03:11,328
How dare you, you...
1369
01:03:11,358 --> 01:03:12,928
How long has she
been in this condition?
1370
01:03:12,958 --> 01:03:14,975
A few days.
How does look?
1371
01:03:14,995 --> 01:03:16,775
Not too good.
She looks like
1372
01:03:16,795 --> 01:03:19,844
She's been existing
solely on airline food.
1373
01:03:19,864 --> 01:03:20,915
Your father wears
tight underwear!
1374
01:03:21,115 --> 01:03:21,125
And I can't stand your mother!
Your father wears tight underwear!
1375
01:03:21,325 --> 01:03:23,773
And I can't stand
your mother!
1376
01:03:23,803 --> 01:03:25,562
Will you put
a sock in it?!
1377
01:03:25,592 --> 01:03:29,282
Jeez, what crawled up
your butt and died?
1378
01:03:29,312 --> 01:03:31,450
Every night I prayed
1379
01:03:31,480 --> 01:03:34,720
To never again gaze
on your grotesque face,
1380
01:03:34,740 --> 01:03:37,250
Listen to your
venomous voice,
1381
01:03:37,270 --> 01:03:39,657
But with you right
in front of me now,
1382
01:03:39,667 --> 01:03:42,848
I thank God that I have
the opportunity
1383
01:03:42,878 --> 01:03:45,858
To boot your stinking
carcass back to hell,
1384
01:03:45,878 --> 01:03:48,765
You worthless,
you rotting,
1385
01:03:48,795 --> 01:03:51,135
You vulgar spirit.
1386
01:03:51,165 --> 01:03:52,255
Hey, hey, hey!
1387
01:03:52,275 --> 01:03:53,404
Where does it say
1388
01:03:53,434 --> 01:03:55,032
You can talk to me
like that?
1389
01:03:55,062 --> 01:03:57,253
Right here.
1390
01:03:57,273 --> 01:04:01,113
Oh, sure, you may feel
pretty cocky right now,
1391
01:04:01,143 --> 01:04:03,000
But you'll soon realize
1392
01:04:03,030 --> 01:04:05,590
That I am far
too powerful for you.
1393
01:04:05,620 --> 01:04:08,890
And I am a man of God.
1394
01:04:08,910 --> 01:04:10,848
And I fear no one,
1395
01:04:10,868 --> 01:04:14,327
Especially an unholy spirit
from an unsavory world.
1396
01:04:14,357 --> 01:04:17,087
Unsavory? Aw, come on.
1397
01:04:17,117 --> 01:04:19,905
You've got just as many
unsavory types here.
1398
01:04:19,925 --> 01:04:22,175
From those domino's
pizza delivery boys
1399
01:04:22,195 --> 01:04:24,125
To that idiot
in the back row
1400
01:04:24,155 --> 01:04:26,175
Who won't shut up
during the movie.
1401
01:04:26,195 --> 01:04:27,652
Enough!
1402
01:04:27,672 --> 01:04:29,692
This is meandering.
1403
01:04:29,712 --> 01:04:31,902
Father, my lunch bucket.
1404
01:04:42,349 --> 01:04:43,967
Holy water.
1405
01:04:43,987 --> 01:04:45,208
The church was closed.
1406
01:04:45,238 --> 01:04:48,098
The only place open
was a 7-11.
1407
01:04:48,118 --> 01:04:49,058
Ahh, thank you,
1408
01:04:49,078 --> 01:04:51,005
You've been
a lovely audience.
1409
01:04:51,035 --> 01:04:52,125
And next,
I'd like to do
1410
01:04:52,145 --> 01:04:54,525
My impression of
comedian don Adams.
1411
01:04:54,555 --> 01:04:56,474
Where's the chief, 99?
1412
01:04:56,494 --> 01:04:59,773
Do not get smart with me!
1413
01:04:59,793 --> 01:05:02,202
On a visit to the little
town of Bethlehem,
1414
01:05:02,222 --> 01:05:03,873
A young Shepherd
came upon Jesus,
1415
01:05:03,893 --> 01:05:05,242
Accepted him lord...
1416
01:05:05,262 --> 01:05:06,870
Lick me!
Lick me!
1417
01:05:06,900 --> 01:05:08,981
Lick me!
1418
01:05:09,011 --> 01:05:10,680
Oh, is this cool
or what?
1419
01:05:10,710 --> 01:05:13,090
It's the cone-ilingus move.
1420
01:05:13,110 --> 01:05:14,170
Why don't you
take a lick
1421
01:05:14,190 --> 01:05:15,637
Of this
candy stick,
1422
01:05:15,667 --> 01:05:18,267
You sissy boys!
Hee hee hee!
1423
01:05:18,297 --> 01:05:19,388
That's disgusting!
1424
01:05:19,408 --> 01:05:22,208
And the living Jesus
said unto him,
1425
01:05:22,228 --> 01:05:24,565
"He who is strong
in his belief of God
1426
01:05:24,595 --> 01:05:27,005
Shall have
his sins forgiven."
1427
01:05:27,025 --> 01:05:29,015
What a levitation move!
1428
01:05:29,044 --> 01:05:30,972
Jesus said unto him...
1429
01:05:30,992 --> 01:05:31,832
Father.
1430
01:05:31,852 --> 01:05:33,663
Luke, do not believe
what you are seeing.
1431
01:05:33,683 --> 01:05:35,193
It is merely
an illusion.
1432
01:05:35,213 --> 01:05:37,793
You sound like George Bush
on the deficit!
1433
01:05:37,813 --> 01:05:40,340
But she's floating
in midair.
1434
01:05:40,370 --> 01:05:41,310
Nancy: Hey!
What are you doing
1435
01:05:41,330 --> 01:05:42,390
With those scissors?
1436
01:05:42,420 --> 01:05:43,609
Hey!
1437
01:05:43,629 --> 01:05:44,760
Ohh!
1438
01:05:44,780 --> 01:05:45,560
Ouch!
1439
01:05:45,590 --> 01:05:48,767
That was the antigravity
backdrop. Wow!
1440
01:05:48,777 --> 01:05:50,457
Illegal, mean gene!
1441
01:05:50,477 --> 01:05:52,408
As I said, it is
merely an illusion.
1442
01:05:52,438 --> 01:05:53,527
Nancy: Oh, yes.
1443
01:05:53,547 --> 01:05:56,115
That may have been
an illusion.
1444
01:05:56,145 --> 01:05:59,005
But I know something
that's very real.
1445
01:05:59,025 --> 01:05:59,805
Your heart
condition!
1446
01:06:04,792 --> 01:06:06,492
Oh, but don't worry.
1447
01:06:06,512 --> 01:06:09,373
Far be it from me to
want to rattle you.
1448
01:06:12,271 --> 01:06:13,710
Unh!
Oh!
1449
01:06:13,910 --> 01:06:13,920
Say your prayers, mayii.
Unh! Oh!
1450
01:06:14,120 --> 01:06:16,320
Say your prayers,
mayii.
1451
01:06:16,340 --> 01:06:18,229
Because soon
you'll be history.
1452
01:06:18,249 --> 01:06:20,087
That's enough!
1453
01:06:20,107 --> 01:06:21,368
In the name of God,
1454
01:06:21,388 --> 01:06:23,288
I demand you stop
this charade!
1455
01:06:23,318 --> 01:06:26,688
You... Demand?
1456
01:06:26,698 --> 01:06:27,855
You're not
in a position
1457
01:06:27,885 --> 01:06:29,335
To demand dick,
altar boy!
1458
01:06:29,355 --> 01:06:30,905
See, I know
all about you.
1459
01:06:30,935 --> 01:06:33,465
And why you really
joined the church.
1460
01:06:33,495 --> 01:06:34,745
Oh, sure.
1461
01:06:34,763 --> 01:06:37,142
They have a terrific
dental plan.
1462
01:06:37,162 --> 01:06:38,032
But that wasn't why.
1463
01:06:38,062 --> 01:06:39,183
Be quiet.
1464
01:06:39,213 --> 01:06:40,153
Ignore that
beast, Luke.
1465
01:06:40,173 --> 01:06:40,953
You joined the church
1466
01:06:40,973 --> 01:06:43,290
Because you had
no talents, no skills,
1467
01:06:43,310 --> 01:06:44,370
Were totally
untrainable,
1468
01:06:44,390 --> 01:06:47,130
And your s.A.T. Score
was under 400.
1469
01:06:47,150 --> 01:06:48,830
Shut up!
Don't listen!
1470
01:06:48,840 --> 01:06:50,867
So, you had 2 choices.
1471
01:06:50,897 --> 01:06:52,657
Either working
in the church,
1472
01:06:52,687 --> 01:06:54,037
Or the U.S. senate.
1473
01:06:54,057 --> 01:06:56,437
I said, shut up,
damn you! Shut up!
1474
01:06:56,457 --> 01:06:59,256
Don't listen, Luke!
1475
01:06:59,276 --> 01:07:02,205
come and listen to a story
'bout a man named jed
1476
01:07:02,225 --> 01:07:05,015
a poor mountaineer,
barely kept his family fed
1477
01:07:08,012 --> 01:07:08,953
Nancy: I just want
to thank you
1478
01:07:08,973 --> 01:07:10,352
For joining the church.
1479
01:07:10,382 --> 01:07:11,303
Because of you,
I'll be able to keep
1480
01:07:11,503 --> 01:07:11,513
This woman's soul forever.
Because of you, I'll be able to keep
1481
01:07:11,713 --> 01:07:13,683
This woman's soul
forever.
1482
01:07:14,890 --> 01:07:17,430
I have no right
calling myself a priest.
1483
01:07:17,450 --> 01:07:18,610
Luke!
1484
01:07:18,640 --> 01:07:20,469
Mayii: I have to ask
you to leave.
1485
01:07:20,489 --> 01:07:22,680
Aw, please, dad.
Can't he stay?
1486
01:07:22,700 --> 01:07:24,467
Tomorrow's not
a school day. Please?
1487
01:07:24,487 --> 01:07:26,547
Damn you!
1488
01:07:26,567 --> 01:07:29,267
I'll kill you
with my bare hands.
1489
01:07:29,297 --> 01:07:30,387
Aw, you take
your best shot,
1490
01:07:30,407 --> 01:07:31,345
You old fart.
1491
01:07:31,375 --> 01:07:32,435
Now, don't
take a look
1492
01:07:32,455 --> 01:07:33,396
At this picture
1493
01:07:33,416 --> 01:07:35,575
With your mother
in bed
1494
01:07:35,595 --> 01:07:37,465
With
Manuel noriega.
1495
01:07:37,485 --> 01:07:39,382
Aah!
1496
01:07:47,441 --> 01:07:49,110
Aah!
1497
01:07:49,140 --> 01:07:50,010
Luke!
1498
01:07:51,530 --> 01:07:53,200
He's down! He's out!
1499
01:07:53,230 --> 01:07:54,519
It's a heart attack,
mean gene!
1500
01:07:54,539 --> 01:07:55,407
Massive cardiac.
1501
01:07:56,968 --> 01:07:58,157
What a wuss!
1502
01:07:58,187 --> 01:07:59,258
Father.
1503
01:08:06,285 --> 01:08:06,965
Unh!
1504
01:08:22,180 --> 01:08:23,120
Mean gene:
He's coming back,
1505
01:08:23,140 --> 01:08:24,110
Ladies and
gentlemen.
1506
01:08:24,140 --> 01:08:26,160
Oh! What a comeback,
Jesse ventura!
1507
01:08:26,180 --> 01:08:27,117
I don't believe it!
1508
01:08:27,137 --> 01:08:28,917
He was down and out
and finished!
1509
01:08:33,198 --> 01:08:35,066
So, you're
a hard man to kill.
1510
01:08:37,605 --> 01:08:41,075
It might be easier
if you were a woman.
1511
01:08:41,095 --> 01:08:43,282
Sister mayii!
1512
01:08:48,653 --> 01:08:51,660
Kumbaya, my lord, Kumbaya
1513
01:08:51,690 --> 01:08:54,860
Kumbaya, my lord, Kumbaya
1514
01:08:54,890 --> 01:08:55,889
Kumbaya...
1515
01:09:09,316 --> 01:09:10,285
That guy even scares me,
mean gene.
1516
01:09:11,945 --> 01:09:13,165
Hi, yi, yi, yi!
1517
01:09:16,682 --> 01:09:17,942
Well, it ain't
star search,
1518
01:09:17,962 --> 01:09:20,312
But I got
a million of these.
1519
01:09:23,681 --> 01:09:25,130
This is the craziest exorcism
1520
01:09:25,160 --> 01:09:25,970
I've ever performed.
1521
01:09:29,350 --> 01:09:30,289
Hey!
1522
01:09:30,309 --> 01:09:31,697
Who are you?
1523
01:09:31,717 --> 01:09:34,287
I'm your worst nightmare.
1524
01:09:36,998 --> 01:09:38,608
Something's wrong.
1525
01:09:40,805 --> 01:09:43,375
Ahh!
Who needs steroids?
1526
01:09:43,405 --> 01:09:45,805
Steroids aren't used
in wrestling anymore.
1527
01:09:45,825 --> 01:09:46,835
Or any less.
1528
01:09:46,855 --> 01:09:49,392
And we are here to pump...
1529
01:09:49,412 --> 01:09:51,123
You up!
1530
01:09:51,143 --> 01:09:52,303
Hey!
1531
01:09:52,333 --> 01:09:55,052
You're nothing
but a little girly devil.
1532
01:09:55,080 --> 01:09:57,131
Satan!
1533
01:09:57,161 --> 01:09:58,131
Satan, you got him
on the run.
1534
01:09:58,151 --> 01:09:59,280
What move you gonna use next?
1535
01:10:00,710 --> 01:10:04,097
Next, I'm gonna grab
a wrestler by his neck,
1536
01:10:04,297 --> 01:10:04,307
Suck out his eyeballs, Next,
I'm gonna grab a wrestler by his neck,
1537
01:10:04,507 --> 01:10:06,317
Suck out his eyeballs,
1538
01:10:06,337 --> 01:10:07,828
And spit 'em
down his throat!
1539
01:10:07,848 --> 01:10:09,648
What did she say?
1540
01:10:09,668 --> 01:10:10,798
She's talking to you,
mean gene.
1541
01:10:12,616 --> 01:10:15,495
Oh! Ooh! Oh!
1542
01:10:15,525 --> 01:10:16,875
In the name
of the holy father,
1543
01:10:16,895 --> 01:10:19,054
I anoint this woman's body
1544
01:10:19,074 --> 01:10:21,133
With the symbol
of God's goodness.
1545
01:10:22,912 --> 01:10:24,233
Ha ha! You missed!
1546
01:10:27,073 --> 01:10:27,940
You swine!
1547
01:10:29,350 --> 01:10:30,380
Ooh!
1548
01:10:32,929 --> 01:10:36,488
Your tricks have
no effect on me!
1549
01:10:36,518 --> 01:10:38,257
Father.
1550
01:10:38,277 --> 01:10:40,298
I'm seeing
a pattern here.
1551
01:10:42,107 --> 01:10:44,645
You fiend!
1552
01:10:44,675 --> 01:10:45,806
Why am I a fiend?
1553
01:10:45,836 --> 01:10:46,855
I was talking
to her.
1554
01:10:46,885 --> 01:10:47,815
Well, you
were looking at me.
1555
01:10:47,845 --> 01:10:48,675
Well, you know!
1556
01:10:48,705 --> 01:10:50,085
I had nothing to do
with the water, Luke.
1557
01:10:50,115 --> 01:10:51,622
It came from over there
and it came from up there.
1558
01:10:51,652 --> 01:10:53,862
Luke!
1559
01:10:53,882 --> 01:10:54,862
Leave her body!
1560
01:10:54,882 --> 01:10:57,673
Enter mine!
Enter mine!
1561
01:11:12,028 --> 01:11:14,768
Luke!
1562
01:11:14,788 --> 01:11:17,615
Oh, no!
1563
01:11:17,635 --> 01:11:19,725
He's innocent.
1564
01:11:19,745 --> 01:11:22,795
It's my body you want.
1565
01:11:22,825 --> 01:11:30,472
Enter me!
1566
01:11:43,618 --> 01:11:45,127
Father mayii?
1567
01:11:45,157 --> 01:11:45,838
Yes?
1568
01:11:51,165 --> 01:11:53,165
You may!
1569
01:11:53,185 --> 01:11:54,094
Father, don't!
1570
01:12:03,390 --> 01:12:05,060
You talk about
your action, Jesse!
1571
01:12:05,080 --> 01:12:06,880
It looks like
a transvestite battle royal!
1572
01:12:27,932 --> 01:12:29,982
Ooh...
1573
01:12:30,012 --> 01:12:32,712
Well, we almost had it
there for a second,
1574
01:12:32,732 --> 01:12:34,633
Didn't we?
1575
01:12:34,663 --> 01:12:36,611
Nice goin'.
Face it,
1576
01:12:36,631 --> 01:12:38,630
You guys can't
beat me.
1577
01:12:38,660 --> 01:12:40,900
You're losers.
1578
01:12:40,930 --> 01:12:42,189
No one can destroy
1579
01:12:42,209 --> 01:12:44,297
What the devil
has created. Nyah!
1580
01:12:44,317 --> 01:12:46,148
If it takes
my last breath,
1581
01:12:46,178 --> 01:12:47,938
I'll prove you wrong.
1582
01:12:47,968 --> 01:12:49,858
What are we gonna do?
We tried everything,
1583
01:12:49,888 --> 01:12:51,785
Everything
the devil hates.
1584
01:12:51,805 --> 01:12:53,865
Prayers, holy water,
1585
01:12:53,885 --> 01:12:56,414
Sex, drugs,
and rock and roll.
1586
01:12:56,444 --> 01:12:56,884
Rock and roll?
1587
01:12:57,084 --> 01:12:57,094
Rock and roll? We never tried that.
Rock and roll?
1588
01:12:57,294 --> 01:13:00,453
Rock and roll?
We never tried that.
1589
01:13:00,473 --> 01:13:02,272
I hate
rock and roll.
1590
01:13:02,292 --> 01:13:05,533
Oh, you hate
rock and roll?
1591
01:13:05,563 --> 01:13:09,601
Well, wait till you
get a load of me!
1592
01:13:10,880 --> 01:13:11,940
hey
1593
01:13:11,960 --> 01:13:13,190
all right
1594
01:13:13,210 --> 01:13:14,600
jump up
1595
01:13:14,620 --> 01:13:16,387
get it
1596
01:13:16,407 --> 01:13:18,817
devil with the blue dress,
blue dress, blue dress
1597
01:13:18,847 --> 01:13:20,547
devil with the blue dress on
1598
01:13:20,577 --> 01:13:22,368
ooh, yeah
1599
01:13:22,398 --> 01:13:24,606
devil with the blue dress,
blue dress, blue dress
1600
01:13:24,626 --> 01:13:27,455
devil with the blue dress on
1601
01:13:27,475 --> 01:13:30,184
Fe Fe fi fi fo fo fum
1602
01:13:30,204 --> 01:13:33,062
lookin' mighty nice,
here she comes
1603
01:13:33,082 --> 01:13:35,813
wearin' a wig, hat,
and shades to match
1604
01:13:35,833 --> 01:13:38,663
got her high-heeled shoes
and an alligator hat
1605
01:13:38,683 --> 01:13:41,320
wearin' her pearls
and a diamond ring
1606
01:13:41,330 --> 01:13:44,329
she got bracelets on her
fingers now and everything
1607
01:13:44,349 --> 01:13:47,140
devil with the blue dress,
blue dress on
1608
01:13:47,170 --> 01:13:49,057
devil with the blue dress on
1609
01:13:49,087 --> 01:13:50,397
oh, have mercy
1610
01:13:50,427 --> 01:13:53,058
devil with the blue dress,
blue dress on
1611
01:13:53,088 --> 01:13:55,845
devil with the blue dress on
1612
01:13:55,865 --> 01:13:58,656
wearin' her perfume,
chanel no. 5
1613
01:13:58,685 --> 01:14:01,215
she got to be
the finest girl alive
1614
01:14:01,245 --> 01:14:04,442
she walks real cool,
catches everybody's eye
1615
01:14:04,472 --> 01:14:07,292
she got such good lovin',
they can't say good-bye
1616
01:14:07,322 --> 01:14:09,543
not too skinny,
she's not too fat
1617
01:14:09,563 --> 01:14:13,090
she's a real humdinger,
and I like it like that
1618
01:14:13,110 --> 01:14:15,940
devil with the blue dress,
blue dress on
1619
01:14:15,970 --> 01:14:17,220
devil with the blue dress on
1620
01:14:17,240 --> 01:14:19,009
hey, sing it now
1621
01:14:19,039 --> 01:14:21,177
devil with the blue dress,
blue dress, blue dress
1622
01:14:21,207 --> 01:14:23,267
devil with the blue dress on
1623
01:14:23,287 --> 01:14:26,018
Hello, 911?
This is the devil.
1624
01:14:26,048 --> 01:14:27,108
I'm being driven
back to hell
1625
01:14:27,128 --> 01:14:28,695
By loud music.
Could you...
1626
01:14:28,725 --> 01:14:31,355
Hello? Hello?
1627
01:14:31,385 --> 01:14:32,704
aah
1628
01:14:32,724 --> 01:14:36,063
Fe Fe fi fi fo fo fum
1629
01:14:36,083 --> 01:14:38,492
look it, once again,
here she comes
1630
01:14:38,522 --> 01:14:41,053
wearin' a wig, hat,
and shades to match
1631
01:14:41,083 --> 01:14:44,090
got her high-heeled shoes
and an alligator hat
1632
01:14:44,120 --> 01:14:46,810
wearin' her pearls
and a diamond ring
1633
01:14:46,840 --> 01:14:49,860
she got bracelets on her
fingers now and everything
1634
01:14:49,880 --> 01:14:52,077
devil with the blue dress,
blue dress on
1635
01:14:52,277 --> 01:14:52,287
devil with the blue dress on devil
with the blue dress, blue dress on
1636
01:14:52,487 --> 01:14:55,678
devil with the blue dress on
1637
01:14:55,708 --> 01:14:58,088
devil with the blue dress,
blue dress, blue dress
1638
01:14:58,108 --> 01:15:01,086
devil with the blue dress on
1639
01:15:01,106 --> 01:15:03,965
devil with the blue dress,
blue dress, blue dress
1640
01:15:03,995 --> 01:15:06,014
devil with the blue dress on
1641
01:15:07,154 --> 01:15:09,312
No!
1642
01:15:10,323 --> 01:15:14,143
There's no place
like home.
1643
01:15:14,173 --> 01:15:15,103
Brophy: Nancy...
1644
01:15:15,123 --> 01:15:16,060
There's no place...
1645
01:15:16,080 --> 01:15:17,470
It's all over now.
1646
01:15:19,380 --> 01:15:22,460
Ooh!
1647
01:15:22,480 --> 01:15:24,538
Oh, father mayii!
1648
01:15:24,558 --> 01:15:26,007
You saved me
once again!
1649
01:15:26,037 --> 01:15:28,228
How can I ever
thank you?
1650
01:15:28,248 --> 01:15:29,308
Ooh!
1651
01:15:31,795 --> 01:15:34,815
Nancy, saving your soul
is thanks enough.
1652
01:15:34,835 --> 01:15:37,695
Good will always
triumph over evil.
1653
01:15:37,725 --> 01:15:39,455
But I'm confident now
1654
01:15:39,475 --> 01:15:43,292
That we have seen the
last of this vile demon.
1655
01:15:43,322 --> 01:15:45,212
Satan: Mayii!
1656
01:15:45,242 --> 01:15:48,221
I'll be back!
1657
01:15:48,241 --> 01:15:53,270
All: Ohh, shit.
1658
01:15:53,300 --> 01:15:54,809
So, it happened.
1659
01:15:54,839 --> 01:15:57,017
Victory over the devil.
1660
01:15:57,047 --> 01:15:59,778
A great day for mankind.
1661
01:15:59,798 --> 01:16:02,968
And a pretty good day
for split pea soup.
1662
01:16:02,998 --> 01:16:05,845
Nancy and Braydon are
a happy couple again,
1663
01:16:05,875 --> 01:16:07,775
And the kids
are just fine.
1664
01:16:07,795 --> 01:16:09,815
But now they're taking
acting lessons.
1665
01:16:09,845 --> 01:16:11,615
But that's not important
right now.
1666
01:16:11,645 --> 01:16:13,502
I have a very special
guest here for you.
1667
01:16:13,522 --> 01:16:15,893
Nancy aglet.
1668
01:16:19,162 --> 01:16:21,180
Now, I'm sure many
of you have questions
1669
01:16:21,200 --> 01:16:23,640
You'd like to ask.
1670
01:16:23,660 --> 01:16:25,060
Yes?
1671
01:16:25,070 --> 01:16:27,030
How do you feel
after all of this?
1672
01:16:27,060 --> 01:16:29,627
I feel wonderful.
Thanks for asking.
1673
01:16:29,647 --> 01:16:31,477
Man: Uh... Uh...
1674
01:16:31,507 --> 01:16:32,857
Yes?
1675
01:16:32,877 --> 01:16:34,328
No offense,
but I think
1676
01:16:34,348 --> 01:16:35,736
You're insulting
our intelligence.
1677
01:16:35,756 --> 01:16:37,056
I mean, honestly,
1678
01:16:37,076 --> 01:16:39,035
Do you expect us to
swallow this bullshit?
1679
01:16:44,392 --> 01:16:47,272
re-re-re-repossessed
1680
01:16:47,472 --> 01:16:47,482
re-re-re-repossessed
re-re-re-repossessed
1681
01:16:47,682 --> 01:16:50,653
re-re-re-repossessed
1682
01:16:50,673 --> 01:16:52,860
oh, no
1683
01:17:02,477 --> 01:17:04,378
he's coming back
1684
01:17:04,408 --> 01:17:06,457
he's coming back
1685
01:17:06,487 --> 01:17:08,725
he's coming back
1686
01:17:08,755 --> 01:17:10,686
he's coming
1687
01:17:10,706 --> 01:17:12,755
he's back,
thought he was gone, Jack
1688
01:17:12,785 --> 01:17:14,975
now, in fact, he's back,
and that as a black
1689
01:17:14,995 --> 01:17:16,892
panther prowlin',
bound to attack
1690
01:17:16,912 --> 01:17:18,972
a child lost in the wild
1691
01:17:18,992 --> 01:17:21,242
this was his prey:
A girl Nancy
1692
01:17:21,262 --> 01:17:22,783
would she get away?
Or could she? Can she
1693
01:17:22,803 --> 01:17:25,081
find a way out?
I doubt
1694
01:17:25,111 --> 01:17:27,320
if she could,
'cause the devil's all about
1695
01:17:27,340 --> 01:17:31,129
evil power ruling intended,
bad intentions always demented
1696
01:17:31,149 --> 01:17:33,047
through a TV set he sent it
1697
01:17:33,067 --> 01:17:35,277
soul destroyer,
and he meant it
1698
01:17:35,307 --> 01:17:37,168
like before,
the curse will persist
1699
01:17:37,198 --> 01:17:38,968
part one of the exorcist
1700
01:17:38,998 --> 01:17:41,045
but this time father mayii's
twice as pissed
1701
01:17:41,065 --> 01:17:42,935
because once again
Linda Blair got dissed
1702
01:17:42,955 --> 01:17:44,854
the devil
1703
01:17:44,874 --> 01:17:46,265
he's coming
1704
01:17:46,285 --> 01:17:47,285
back
1705
01:17:47,305 --> 01:17:49,203
the devil
1706
01:17:49,223 --> 01:17:50,292
he's coming
1707
01:17:50,322 --> 01:17:51,252
back
1708
01:17:51,282 --> 01:17:53,043
the devil
1709
01:17:53,073 --> 01:17:54,133
he's coming
1710
01:17:54,153 --> 01:17:55,092
back
1711
01:17:55,112 --> 01:17:57,010
the devil
1712
01:17:57,040 --> 01:17:59,120
he's coming
1713
01:17:59,150 --> 01:18:01,560
he' back,
and he's on a rampage
1714
01:18:01,580 --> 01:18:03,640
like a madman through a crowd
with a 12-gauge
1715
01:18:03,660 --> 01:18:05,967
shotgun, but this one's
the terrible ruler of hell
1716
01:18:05,997 --> 01:18:07,767
he makes lives unbearable
1717
01:18:07,797 --> 01:18:09,847
ask father mayii
or father Luke
1718
01:18:09,868 --> 01:18:12,116
he seized Nancy's soul,
and he made her puke
1719
01:18:12,136 --> 01:18:13,525
up pea soup all over
a priest's suit
1720
01:18:13,545 --> 01:18:15,285
and I used to think
Linda Blair was cute
1721
01:18:15,315 --> 01:18:17,365
now she's haunted,
taken control of again
1722
01:18:17,395 --> 01:18:19,804
in the end, good will triumph
and always win
1723
01:18:19,814 --> 01:18:21,712
in the meantime, though,
you watch her head spin
1724
01:18:21,732 --> 01:18:23,862
it's 360, the face of sin
rapidly turnin'
1725
01:18:23,883 --> 01:18:25,563
bed posts burnin'
1726
01:18:25,583 --> 01:18:27,443
it's gonna take a lot more
than some stupid silly sermon
1727
01:18:27,473 --> 01:18:29,520
to destroy him
or even annoy him
1728
01:18:29,540 --> 01:18:32,220
in his time of demonic,
chaotic mayhem
1729
01:18:32,240 --> 01:18:33,689
with the thrill of a chiller,
the devil ultimate killer
1730
01:18:33,699 --> 01:18:36,248
live on Ernest
and fannie rae weller's show
1731
01:18:36,268 --> 01:18:39,447
prime-time, so father mayii
and Luke are on the go
1732
01:18:39,467 --> 01:18:42,038
in the gyms and liftin',
movin', quickin'
1733
01:18:42,058 --> 01:18:43,857
buildin' confidence,
gettin' swift and
1734
01:18:43,877 --> 01:18:45,845
ready for butt-kickin'
at its best
1735
01:18:45,865 --> 01:18:47,765
'cause Nancy's
been repossessed
1736
01:18:47,785 --> 01:18:49,685
the devil
1737
01:18:49,715 --> 01:18:50,775
he's coming
1738
01:18:50,795 --> 01:18:51,735
back
1739
01:18:51,755 --> 01:18:53,652
the devil
1740
01:18:53,672 --> 01:18:54,772
he's coming
1741
01:18:54,792 --> 01:18:55,732
back
1742
01:18:55,752 --> 01:18:57,652
the devil
1743
01:18:57,672 --> 01:18:58,773
he's coming
1744
01:18:58,793 --> 01:18:59,733
back
1745
01:18:59,753 --> 01:19:01,650
the devil
1746
01:19:01,680 --> 01:19:02,960
he's coming
1747
01:19:02,980 --> 01:19:04,400
back
1748
01:19:19,945 --> 01:19:22,165
third verse, could you
believe it gets worse?
1749
01:19:22,185 --> 01:19:24,653
still in effect,
this damn curse came demon
1750
01:19:24,683 --> 01:19:26,162
d-e-v-i-I
1751
01:19:26,182 --> 01:19:28,243
well, how can we send
the punk back to hell?
1752
01:19:28,263 --> 01:19:30,323
was the question asked
by two on a mission
1753
01:19:30,343 --> 01:19:32,240
restorin' the soul
to God-given condition
1754
01:19:32,260 --> 01:19:34,161
of life to Nancy's
body and veins
1755
01:19:34,191 --> 01:19:36,720
'cause Satan crawled under
her skin and into her brains
1756
01:19:36,740 --> 01:19:39,920
like a psychoanalyst
analyzin' only bad parts
1757
01:19:39,940 --> 01:19:42,797
hypnotizin' the rest of 'em,
gettin' the best of 'em
1758
01:19:42,817 --> 01:19:44,528
testin' 'em,
soon possessin' 'em
1759
01:19:44,558 --> 01:19:46,168
in no time at all
1760
01:19:46,188 --> 01:19:48,396
he makes Hitler
look like Lucille ball
1761
01:19:48,416 --> 01:19:50,455
this ain't a joke
or some kind of dream
1762
01:19:50,475 --> 01:19:52,395
put yourself into her scene
1763
01:19:52,415 --> 01:19:54,454
possessed by the demon,
can't even scream
1764
01:19:54,474 --> 01:19:56,232
Jason can't even
join the team
1765
01:19:56,262 --> 01:19:58,673
he's too nice.
The devil's scheme is mean
1766
01:19:58,693 --> 01:20:00,243
to the fullest extent,
or so it would seem
1767
01:20:00,263 --> 01:20:02,483
the only thing the priests
have goin' on
1768
01:20:02,513 --> 01:20:04,590
is generic holy water evian
1769
01:20:04,620 --> 01:20:06,640
they threw it on and saw
the wrong choice was chosen
1770
01:20:06,660 --> 01:20:08,560
wanted to use the real stuff,
but the church was closed
1771
01:20:08,590 --> 01:20:11,600
if the devil's got you runnin'
so hot you appear on TV
1772
01:20:11,630 --> 01:20:14,987
while millions watch you
exercisin' your live exorcism
1773
01:20:15,017 --> 01:20:16,888
yo, you know
how you're livin'
1774
01:20:16,898 --> 01:20:19,247
lousy.
Want to get back full control?
1775
01:20:19,267 --> 01:20:21,675
get back your given soul?
1776
01:20:21,705 --> 01:20:23,086
play rock and roll
1777
01:20:23,106 --> 01:20:24,715
he hates that
1778
01:20:24,735 --> 01:20:26,795
the devil
1779
01:20:26,815 --> 01:20:27,725
he's coming
1780
01:20:27,745 --> 01:20:28,682
back
1781
01:20:28,702 --> 01:20:30,602
the devil
1782
01:20:30,622 --> 01:20:31,892
he's coming
1783
01:20:31,912 --> 01:20:32,853
back
1784
01:20:32,873 --> 01:20:34,773
the devil
1785
01:20:34,793 --> 01:20:36,083
he's coming
1786
01:20:36,101 --> 01:20:37,041
back
1787
01:20:37,061 --> 01:20:38,890
the devil
1788
01:20:38,920 --> 01:20:40,080
he's coming
1789
01:20:40,100 --> 01:20:41,300
back
119187
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