All language subtitles for The.Nanny.S06E17.720p.HMAX.WEBRip.x264-GalaxyTV_track3_eng

[Fran]Previously on
The Nanny...

Niles, listen to me.

I'm your friend
and I love you.

Don't spend the rest
of your life wondering.

Carpe diem.

[exhales sharply]

Ms. Babcock.

Well, I gotta admit,
you surprised me tonight.

You finally pulled off
something bigger
than your shorts.

[laughs]

Oh, yeah?

Well, you--
You're a--

You walk like a--

Marry me.

Ms. Babcock?

Ms. Babcock,
are you in here?

-[knocking]
-[C.C.] Oh, God.

So, tell me,
what did he say,
what did you say?

I wanna know all the details.

[C.C.] Nanny Fine,
I am involved
in a private moment here.

Must you stand outside
the stall door?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I don't mean to be rude.

I just wanna know...

what happened
with you and Niles?

[C.C.] Would you
leave me alone?

Oy, everybody gets so upset
when I do this.

-If you must know...
-Yeah?

I was just proposed to
by the most bloated, pathetic,

domestic excuse
for a man.

So, what'd you say?

Well, it's always been
a dream of mine

to give up
my Park Avenue penthouse
and move into his room.

Oh, no, you turned him down
because he's not rich?

Ms. Babcock, why do you always
think with your head?

What does your heart say?

"Don't marry a maid."

Well, what does your liver say?

Does that at least say,
"Can the man
take me out for a drink?"

Nanny Fine,
what is this sudden interest
in my love life?

Did I interfere
with you and Maxwell?

Did I push you two together?

No. You tried to push me
in front of a bus.

Once, and I apologized.

I have to go find Yetta
and tell her about this.

Why? Why Yetta?

Because she forgets

and I can tell her
over and over and over again.

I cannot believe
you are actually enjoying
seeing this man in pain.

I live for moments like this.

I mean, he exposed
his deepest feelings

right out there in public
where I could crush him.

What would compel him
to do something like that?

I have no idea.

Oh, excuse me, sir,
but this is the ladies' room.

Thank you very much
for your advice.

Do you have any idea
what a fool I made of myself?

[Fran] Yeah, I heard.

But, you know,
just for the record,

I told you
to express your feelings.

I did. I asked Ms. Babcock
to marry me.

Well, in the future,

may I suggest that before
you propose to a woman

you start calling her
by her first name.

I just want you to know
that you have
ruined my entire life

and I will never
forgive you for this.

Excuse me.

Can you see
if they have this
in a size 6?

♪ She was working
In a bridal shop ♪

♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪

♪ Til her boyfriend
Kicked her out ♪

♪ In one of those
Crushing scenes ♪

♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪

♪ She was out on her fanny ♪

♪ So over the bridge
From Flushing ♪

♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪

♪ She was there to sell make-up
But the father saw more ♪

♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there ♪

♪ That's how she became ♪

♪ The Nanny ♪

♪ Who would have guessed
That the girl we described ♪

♪ Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed? ♪

♪ Now, the father
Finds her beguiling ♪

♪ Watch out C.C. ♪

♪ And the kids
Are actually smiling ♪

♪ Such joie de vivre ♪

♪ She's the lady in red ♪

♪ When everybody else
Is wearing tan ♪

♪ The flashy girl
From Flushing ♪

♪ The Nanny named Fran! ♪

-Oh, darling.
-Oh, hi, sweetie.

I'm sorry I'm late.

-I got held up by Niles
this morning.
-Oh!

It seems
he's really quite upset.

Oh, poor Niles.

Yeah, I feel so bad for him.
I wish I could--

Did he mention names?

No. No, he just kept repeating
how his life was over

and he had nothing left
to live for.

Oh, you know,
he's probably just depressed

-on account of our show
going from off-Broadway to off.
-[chuckles]

-I'm sure you're right.
[chuckles]
-Yeah.

You know what I thought
it was, though? [laughs]

[laughing] What?

I thought it was because
he had proposed to C.C.

and been turned down

because of some
big-haired woman's bad advice.

Who do you suppose
that could be?

Oh, all right,
so I gave him advice.

He's my friend.
How would I know he would--

And I thought
you liked my big hair.

And don't change
the subject.

What have I been saying
for the last six years? Hm?

Well, I could tell you what you
didn't say for the first five.

Don't get involved
in other people's lives.

Now, why do you have this
constant desire to interfere?

I have that
obsessive-compulsive thing.
What's it called?

Yenta.

I'm the one
that suffers for this.

I didn't tell him
to propose to her.

He's been moping
around the house....

-Hello.
-Hello.

Dr. Reynolds sends
her sincere apologies.

She's attending the female
gynecologist convention.

-Oh.
-Women on Women.

I'm Margot.

Dr. Reynolds' sister.

Oh! Two women doctors
in one family.

My father has a couple of
sisters on his side

that both make
dried apple people.

Well, it seems like
all of your blood levels
are normal

and everything is going
right according to schedule.

You know, my husband's mad.
I could use a little sympathy.

Can't you find
one little thing
wrong with me?

Well, your hair
is a little big.

Fran, we recommend
all first-time mommies
carrying twins

get a little taste of what
it's going to be like.

So let me introduce you
to baby Frank and baby Karen.

-Oh!
-Oh, well, what are we supposed
to do with these?

-Use them for practice.
-Oh.

-They're programmed to cry
and wet their diapers...
-[Fran giggling]

...just like real babies.

Oh, I think this one just
spit up on my jacket.

See? They do everything
real babies do.

They're very expensive.

[laughs] So is the jacket.

Now, here is their schedule
and you must follow it
as if they were your children.

-Mm-hm.
-Oh, now--

We don't have to follow this
to verbatim, do we?

I mean, for instance,
look, here, tomorrow night
we have plans.

So, we can just leave them,
pick them up the next night,
right?

Sure, if you want to come home
and find them dead.

Oh, Niles, do you mind
if I talk to you about
something for a second?

What? You want me
to propose to Ms. Babcock
on Jerry Springer,

so, she can say no
and beat me to a pulp?

No. I promised my husband
I would no longer interfere
in your personal affairs.

There will be no more advice
passing through these lips.
Hit it.

-Niles?
-Yes, Ms. Babcock.

Do you wanna know
where you went wrong with me
the other night?

Will you marry me?

See, that was your mistake,
butler boy.

You can't rush into
these sort of things.

-Who do you think I am?
The impetuous, sexy Fran?
-[sighs]

You're a small man.
Start small.

Ask me out to dinner first.

[sighs] Oh, what a fool
I've been.

So, what you're saying is

I should go slow
and ask Ms. Babcock
out to dinner.

How you interpret the play
is entirely up to you.

Thank you.

-You know, you were very good.
-Oh, really?

Yes. I think you should
dust the entire house.

Fran, Ms. Babcock hates Niles.

Why do you think she'd go out
to dinner with him?

Oh, sweetie,
give me a little credit.

You think I'd go through
all the trouble
of writing this play

if I wasn't sure
she'd say yes?

No!

Oh, please, please,
please go out to dinner
with Niles.

[dolls crying]

Oh, Karen, please, I'm trying
to talk to Ms. Babcock.

-Let me hold her.
-Okay.

[doll crying]

[doll stops crying]

-Wow, you're really good
with kids.
-[chuckles]

Oh!

You know, God forbid,
I'm ever in the hospital
on life support,

don't come visit me.

Come on, Ms. Babcock,
it's just one little
bitty dinner.

What's it gonna hurt you?

Nanny Fine, this is
none of your business.

My love life involves
me and me alone.

Well, if you enjoy that,
wait till you add
another person.

I want a man
who makes my heart pound.

Someone who sweeps me
off my feet.

You're halfway there.
You got a guy that sweeps.

Oh... [sighs]

Give me one good reason
I should go to dinner
with that man.

Oh, haven't you ever
done anything just because
it's the nice thing to do?

Come on. Come on.
I know you have.

Well, once I gave
a panhandler directions.

-There you go.
-I told him to go to hell.

-[clinking]
-[laughing]

Val, you should
have seen Niles.

He was so cute,
all dressed up.

He even bought a corsage
for Ms. Babcock.

Sort of reminds me of the night
that I took you to the prom.

Yeah, you looked lovely, Val.

I'll tell you, I'm so nervous,
I can't wait for him to
come home so I can ask him...

what his sponge cake recipe is.
Gotta go. Bye, Val.

Darling, do you have any idea
why Niles is all dressed up

and asked to borrow
my Paco Rabanne?

Don't know. Not involved.
Wanna make love?

Come on.

-[chuckling]
-Come here, you.

[doll crying]

Oh, honey, would you go?
I'm exhausted.

Darling, I am not getting
out of bed to take care
of a couple of dolls.

-Well, what if they were
our real babies?
-Then I'd get them.

So, what are you saying?
You're not gonna get up
and help them

just because they're dolls?

Yes.

I wish you were more wrong,
right now.

Okay, okay.

[giggling]

[both giggle]

[dolls crying]

[sighs]

Oh, I'll tell you,
that Karen is so hyper.

I'm removing her Energizer.

Darling, darling, let me
give you some advice.
I've had children.

-[sighs]
-And you cannot go to them
every time they cry.

You have to learn
which one's important
and what cry means what.

Well, this cry means,

"Mommy can't make love
because she's too distracted."

That's an important one.

Thank you, sweetie.

All right, all right.
Daddy's coming.
Daddy's coming.

Oh, and, honey,
don't be concerned

about the little rash
on Frankie's tushy.

I just kept him too close
to the toaster oven.

Honey?

Honey, did you hear me?

Frankie's tushy is-- Oh!

Thank you once again.

This was the worst night
of my entire life.

What could be worse
than the other night

when you proposed to her
and she said no?

Tonight,
when I proposed to her
and she said no.

You proposed to her again?

Did you learn nothing
from my play?

Oh, I knew that Brighton
wasn't conveying
the right pathos.

I just don't understand
what went wrong.

We were getting along so well.

We ordered
our chicken piccata,
she said...

"I'm so hungry
I could eat a horse,"
and I said nothing.

You said,
"Will you marry me?"

and she probably
laughed in your face, again.

She did not laugh
in my face.

She said, "Stop asking me,
I won't marry you.

I don't like you,
and call the waiter,
my breasts are dry."

And still, I said nothing.

I can tell you this much.

I can no longer stay
under the same roof
with that woman.

It's just too humiliating.

Now I tried
to take your advice,

I tried to do
what you said to do,

and it just didn't work,

so now I'm gonna
have to quit.

-Quit?
-Oh!

Sweetie, I'm in the mood
to make love now.

-Oh, Fran, these dolls
bring back such memories.
-Mmm.

Remember when I had
a doll like this

-and how much you loved
playing with it?
-Mm-hm.

Then one day
it just disappeared

and then you got one
exactly like it
the next day...

and I was so jealous.

Remember?

-Ah, vaguely.
-Yeah.

Oh, Val, I can't believe
Maxwell is so furious with me.

I mean, this is not
the worst thing
I've ever done.

Why is he so mad at me
this time?

'Cause he found out
about this one.

-That made all the difference.
-[Val] Mmm!

-[doll crying]
-Oh, sweetie.

Ah, look at this.

Brings back memories
of motherhood.

Oh, Ma, what did you do
when me and Nadine
started to cry?

I left the room.
The sound was so annoying.

Fran, I hope it's okay.

-Niles wants to borrow
your suitcase.
-All right.

Oh, my God.

That looks just like the luggage
my mother loaned you, Sylvia.

Remember when you
went to Puerto Vallarta
and the airport lost it?

-Ah, vaguely.
-Yeah.

Oh, Val, how am I gonna get
Niles to stay on?

My husband told me
I have to butt out,

but I can't butt out
until I butt in.

It's a whole
hokey-poky syndrome.

Fran, maybe you should talk
to Ms. Babcock.

She's gotta have
some feelings.

[laughing] You guys,
listen to this.

[C.C]I'll have
chicken piccata.

-[Niles]Will you marry me?
-[laughing]

You know, the great thing is

these little tapes fit
on my answering machine.

[gasps] Oh!

I am never going
to convince her
not to humiliate Niles.

Well, if you're gonna try,
now's your chance.

She's in a really good mood.

Oh, Ms. Babcock, please,
please, apologize to Niles

and promise him that
you won't bring it up again
or rub it in his face.

Um... no.

Nanny Fine, do you remember
when I told you

that I was waiting
for that magic?

For something that just
makes my heart pound?

-Yes.
-Well, I've got it right here.

So, you might as well
just save your breath, sister,

'cause I am gonna milk this
for everything it's worth.

Oh, C.C., there you are.
Niles.

Now, look here, C.C.,
I refuse to let Niles quit

because of this ridiculous
nonsense

going on between the two of you.
Do you understand?

I want you to talk to him,

I want you to tell him
you're not gonna rub it
in his face and fix it.

Okay.

-Oh, God.
-Niles, get back down here now.

Niles, I'm sorry
this whole thing happened.

Let's just put the past
in the past.

So you proposed to me
four times.

-Four?
-Four?

Forget it.
I've been humiliated enough.

C.C. C.C.?

Niles, I'm trying to say
something nice.
Help me, Nanny Fine.

What she's trying
to say is that

she knows she'd be
damn lucky to have you but...

she's a lesbian.

I am not.

[sighs]

Look, what happened
happened,

but it's just between
the four of us.

Nobody else
ever has to know.

I promise I will never
tell another soul.

-[button clicks]
-[Niles] Will you marry me?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I pressed it by accident.

That's it.
I am out of here.

She is never going to
let this go.

An elephant never forgets.

Oh, please, you used
that pathetic line on me
three years ago.

See?

Maxwell, I cannot do this.

Niles, I'm sorry
you're quitting,

but I'm sure you have
a career to fall back on.

You know, in case this dream
didn't pan out.

Well, whatever I have to
fall back on isn't half as big

as what you have to
fall back on.

I don't think this is going
very well.

No. No, honey,
this is going great.

This is their natural habitat.

We're the strangers.

Just don't use a flash.
It startles them.

They could charge.

Me marry you? Please!

You are a pathetic
excuse for a man.

Ditto!

But at least I know
when it's time to move on.

You are going to spend
the rest of your life

pining for a man
who doesn't love you

and who's married a woman
half your age.

Oh, Niles, please don't go.

Look around you.

They're married.
They're starting a family.

Where are you going to be
10-20 years from now?

You're going to be saying
Merry Christmas
to your friends in rehab

and wondering
what might have been.

I'll be leaving first thing
in the morning, sir.

Oh, my God, he's right.

The best years of my life
are gone.

And they sucked.

I have always stayed too long
at the fair.

Well, not this time.

I have to move on.

Maxwell, my resignation
will be on your desk
in the morning.

[scoffs]
You see what happens
when you interfere?

They're in here,
aren't they?

No.

[dolls crying]

Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry.

It's just that
they were upset
about Niles.

You know, they sense things.

They're rubber,
and their butts are stamped
"Made in Taiwan."

What can they sense?

That their daddy
doesn't love them.

Me?

You're the one
who almost melted Frankie
on the toaster oven.

Well, I was trying
to make you a pita pocket.

[sighs] I need Niles.

Darling, I know
he's your best friend.

I know how you feel
about him.

I know it must be hard for you
to see Ms. Babcock go

seeing as you both
were romantically involved.

We were not.

Just checking.

I don't know,
maybe this is the best thing
for both of them.

I mean, you and I, we made
a huge change in our life.

Maybe they deserve
to do the same.

Oh, I know you're right.
I'm being selfish.

I mean, there are so many things
a man like Niles
can do out there.

Can you think of any?

C.C. will be all right.

I mean, she could find
a position in any organization
that needs a...

they...

-We have to stop them.
-Oh.

The first thing
that we're gonna do

is tell Niles how much
we love and value him.

And then, we're gonna
let him know

that he is an important member
of our family.

What floor is his room on?
The first or the second?

Oh, I'll follow you.
I'll follow you.

You know...
he's a very heavy sleeper.

Sometimes 3:00, 4:00 a.m.
in the morning I'll ring him up
for a diet soda,

I get no answer.

Hi, Yetta.

Hello.

You want me
to make you something to eat?

You cook?

[theme music playing]

[theme music ends]