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1
00:00:02,326 --> 00:00:04,443
Oh, this is so exciting.
2
00:00:04,476 --> 00:00:08,326
Grace is applying to the
Eastside School for the Gifted?
3
00:00:08,359 --> 00:00:12,493
You know, you won't be
the first member of
the Fine family to attend.
4
00:00:12,526 --> 00:00:15,493
Your Aunt Celia
spent three years there.
5
00:00:15,526 --> 00:00:19,309
Ma, she worked in the lunchroom.
6
00:00:19,343 --> 00:00:22,443
And she got fired
for giving free lunches
7
00:00:22,476 --> 00:00:26,443
to a lady who tried
to pass herself off
as an eighth-grader.
8
00:00:29,143 --> 00:00:34,426
Meanwhile,
with my little pigtails
and my little plaid skirt,
9
00:00:34,459 --> 00:00:35,526
I was adorable.
10
00:00:37,509 --> 00:00:40,459
You know, Sylvia, tomorrow
we're having the headmistress
of the school over
11
00:00:40,493 --> 00:00:43,259
for a fancy-schmancy
Music Appreciation Day.
12
00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:46,543
Fran's trying to schmooze her
because she's a big macher.
13
00:00:46,873 --> 00:00:47,493
[Fran laughs]
14
00:00:47,526 --> 00:00:52,326
And now that she's bilingual,
we'll slide right in.
15
00:00:52,359 --> 00:00:54,393
Oh, what time
are you gonna start?
16
00:00:54,426 --> 00:00:57,326
Because I could stop by
on my way to the beauty parlor.
17
00:00:57,359 --> 00:00:59,343
No, Ma, I don't think
that's such a good idea.
18
00:00:59,376 --> 00:01:01,203
Why?
19
00:01:01,543 --> 00:01:05,176
Well, because A,
they would meet you,
20
00:01:05,209 --> 00:01:08,293
and B, they would meet you
before you went
to the beauty parlor.
21
00:01:10,476 --> 00:01:13,343
Meanwhile, if you wanna get
Grace in,
22
00:01:13,376 --> 00:01:17,243
you should give
a big, generous donation.
23
00:01:17,276 --> 00:01:22,159
Your Uncle Louie has a garage
full of illegal cable boxes.
24
00:01:24,309 --> 00:01:26,476
Oh, well, I can always
join a gang.
25
00:01:28,343 --> 00:01:30,443
Darling, you'll never guess
who I just bumped into.
26
00:01:30,476 --> 00:01:32,326
Remember my friend
Rodney Pembrook?
27
00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:34,376
All those zany stories
I used to recount?
28
00:01:34,409 --> 00:01:37,359
Oh, the recounting we did.
29
00:01:37,393 --> 00:01:39,376
You have no idea
who I'm talking about, do you?
30
00:01:39,409 --> 00:01:41,326
Not a clue.
31
00:01:41,359 --> 00:01:46,143
I'm sorry, honey. I only really
started paying attention
after you proposed.
32
00:01:46,176 --> 00:01:49,159
-Come on, we went to Oxford
together. We were like brothers.
-Oh.
33
00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:51,359
He comes from one
of wealthiest families
in London.
34
00:01:51,393 --> 00:01:56,476
Is he single? Because your
sister's not that happy
with her husband lately.
35
00:01:56,509 --> 00:02:01,873
Oy, we're both married
and she's still
trying to trade up.
36
00:02:01,159 --> 00:02:03,326
Oh, Niles, guess what.
We're gonna have company.
37
00:02:03,359 --> 00:02:06,459
Heh. Thirty years
and he still thinks
company excites me.
38
00:02:08,459 --> 00:02:11,226
Yes, Rodney Pembrook
from Oxford. Oh, my God.
39
00:02:11,259 --> 00:02:13,459
Do you remember New Year's Eve,
freshman year
40
00:02:13,493 --> 00:02:15,376
we were sick all over the room,
41
00:02:15,409 --> 00:02:20,703
and then some idiot forgot
to turn the bathtub off
and flooded the place?
42
00:02:20,143 --> 00:02:21,309
I think that was you, wasn't it?
43
00:02:21,343 --> 00:02:23,459
No, but you remember
the next morning
when you woke up
44
00:02:23,493 --> 00:02:26,293
-and it was all spotless again?
-Uh.
45
00:02:26,326 --> 00:02:28,703
That was me.
46
00:02:32,203 --> 00:02:33,359
♪ She was workingin a bridal shop ♪
47
00:02:33,393 --> 00:02:35,043
♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪
48
00:02:35,373 --> 00:02:36,209
♪ Til her boyfriendkicked her out ♪
49
00:02:36,243 --> 00:02:37,493
♪ In one of thosecrushing scenes ♪
50
00:02:37,526 --> 00:02:39,376
♪ What was she to do?Where was she to go? ♪
51
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:43,043
♪ She was out on her fanny ♪
52
00:02:43,373 --> 00:02:44,193
♪ So over the bridgefrom Flushing ♪
53
00:02:44,226 --> 00:02:45,509
♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪
54
00:02:46,043 --> 00:02:48,873
♪ She was there to sell makeupbut the father saw more ♪
55
00:02:48,159 --> 00:02:50,176
♪ She had style, she had flairshe was there ♪
56
00:02:50,209 --> 00:02:51,193
♪ That's how she became ♪
57
00:02:51,226 --> 00:02:54,203
♪ The Nanny ♪
58
00:02:54,543 --> 00:02:57,203
♪ Who would have guessedthat the girl we described ♪
59
00:02:57,543 --> 00:02:59,159
♪ Was just exactlywhat the doctor prescribed? ♪
60
00:02:59,193 --> 00:03:00,326
♪ Now, the fatherfinds her beguiling ♪
61
00:03:00,359 --> 00:03:01,459
♪ Watch out C.C. ♪
62
00:03:01,493 --> 00:03:03,159
♪ And the kidsare actually smiling ♪
63
00:03:03,193 --> 00:03:04,159
♪ Such joie de vivre ♪
64
00:03:04,193 --> 00:03:05,426
♪ She's the lady in red ♪
65
00:03:05,459 --> 00:03:09,203
♪ When everybody elseis wearing tan ♪
66
00:03:10,209 --> 00:03:12,193
♪ The flashy girlfrom Flushing ♪
67
00:03:12,226 --> 00:03:13,343
♪ The Nanny named Fran ♪
68
00:03:15,243 --> 00:03:17,193
[playing piano]
69
00:03:25,376 --> 00:03:30,543
I think we're really making
a good impression
on the headmistress.
70
00:03:30,873 --> 00:03:33,209
Wait till she hears me sing
"Don't Rain On My Parade."
71
00:03:36,193 --> 00:03:38,526
-[people exclaiming]
-[applause]
72
00:03:39,203 --> 00:03:43,543
Mrs. Sheffield, where I have
seen this pianist before?
73
00:03:43,873 --> 00:03:46,043
Do I know him from
the recital hall at Juilliard?
74
00:03:46,373 --> 00:03:47,873
Oh, no.
75
00:03:47,159 --> 00:03:49,343
The atrium at Macy's.
76
00:03:51,143 --> 00:03:53,343
You know, Mrs. Sheffield,
I'm... I'm very curious
77
00:03:53,376 --> 00:03:57,703
about your background
and education.
We haven't discussed it.
78
00:03:57,143 --> 00:04:01,309
You know, I... I had wonderful
experiences at private school
79
00:04:01,343 --> 00:04:06,543
and, uh, some
of my fondest memories
were with my classmates.
80
00:04:06,873 --> 00:04:07,293
Who?
81
00:04:09,326 --> 00:04:12,493
Tootie, Blair and Natalie.
82
00:04:12,526 --> 00:04:16,243
You know, uh, Grace's father
is from England
83
00:04:16,276 --> 00:04:19,703
and he went to private school
as well.
84
00:04:19,143 --> 00:04:22,326
Yes, I'm looking forward
to meeting your husband.
85
00:04:22,359 --> 00:04:25,543
Where's my little coochy coo?
86
00:04:27,343 --> 00:04:29,309
Hey, sexy, come on.
87
00:04:29,343 --> 00:04:35,043
Move those beautiful legs
over here
and come say hello to Rodney.
88
00:04:35,373 --> 00:04:36,176
Pardon, doll.
89
00:04:37,043 --> 00:04:38,209
Honey, honey.
90
00:04:38,243 --> 00:04:39,376
You're interrupting my
91
00:04:39,409 --> 00:04:41,526
"mother-daughter we got culture
in this house" day.
92
00:04:42,203 --> 00:04:46,243
What's that? Oh, Rodney,
come on in here, you ugly bum.
93
00:04:46,276 --> 00:04:48,526
Come on in, you madman.
94
00:04:51,226 --> 00:04:53,526
Maxwell, she's breathtaking.
95
00:04:54,203 --> 00:04:56,143
[Maxwell] Mm.
96
00:04:56,176 --> 00:05:00,043
How the devil could you have
waited five years
to propose to her?
97
00:05:00,373 --> 00:05:02,043
-You perfect fool.
-[chuckles]
98
00:05:02,373 --> 00:05:04,493
Oh, thank you, Rodney.
99
00:05:04,526 --> 00:05:07,176
[laughs]
And she does funny voices.
100
00:05:08,409 --> 00:05:11,343
[shushing]
101
00:05:11,376 --> 00:05:13,873
[clears throat]
Darling, darling.
102
00:05:13,159 --> 00:05:15,409
You'll never guess
what this crazy lunatic
did at the club.
103
00:05:15,443 --> 00:05:17,426
He ordered us a bottle
of white wine,
104
00:05:17,459 --> 00:05:20,703
-then switched to red wine...
-Right.
105
00:05:20,143 --> 00:05:22,373
...and ordered fish. [laughs]
106
00:05:24,176 --> 00:05:26,476
Oh, you outlaws, you.
107
00:05:26,509 --> 00:05:30,176
Butch, why don't you
take Sundance and get
some coffee in the kitchen?
108
00:05:30,209 --> 00:05:33,359
Oh, uh... No, uh... Have Niles
bring it to the office. Uh...
109
00:05:33,393 --> 00:05:36,459
Rodney's gonna let me
into a very hush-hush deal
he's got going.
110
00:05:36,493 --> 00:05:40,259
-You know, everything this chap
touches turns to gold.
-[Fran] Mm-hmm. Oh.
111
00:05:40,293 --> 00:05:42,526
-How do you do?
-Ow! Ow!
112
00:05:45,226 --> 00:05:46,509
Excuse me. It's okay.
113
00:05:47,043 --> 00:05:50,509
You know the British.
They're so warm and cuddly.
[laughs]
114
00:05:51,043 --> 00:05:56,193
I know, why don't I just ring
for the butler to replenish us?
115
00:05:56,226 --> 00:05:57,326
Yahoo!
116
00:05:57,359 --> 00:06:01,159
Sweet lordy Lord,
my ship has come in.
117
00:06:01,193 --> 00:06:04,326
Uh, Niles, would you mind
getting us some tea?
118
00:06:04,359 --> 00:06:06,309
It turns out,
I had an uncle who died.
119
00:06:06,343 --> 00:06:09,703
But wait, it gets better.
120
00:06:09,143 --> 00:06:11,409
I've inherited a royal title.
I'm rich.
121
00:06:11,443 --> 00:06:15,426
Oh, that's so exciting.
Did you get the check yet?
122
00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:18,203
-No.
-Then get the tea.
123
00:06:28,359 --> 00:06:32,276
You know, Sylvia, why don't you
just take the magazine home?
124
00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:34,409
That's not courteous.
125
00:06:36,326 --> 00:06:38,243
Ma, what are you doing here?
126
00:06:38,276 --> 00:06:43,159
You know, just once
I'd like you to say, "Hello.
How are you? What's new?"
127
00:06:43,193 --> 00:06:44,526
What's gonna be new
since this morning
128
00:06:45,203 --> 00:06:47,703
when you were sitting here
eating breakfast?
129
00:06:47,526 --> 00:06:50,343
I since had a nectarine.
130
00:06:52,703 --> 00:06:54,143
So did she get into the school?
131
00:06:54,176 --> 00:06:56,443
Well, it was only
our second interview,
132
00:06:56,476 --> 00:07:00,703
and the teacher dropped a word
that I didn't understand.
Which one was that?
133
00:07:00,143 --> 00:07:01,393
-Curriculum.
-Oh.
134
00:07:03,393 --> 00:07:07,143
She said it was broad-based,
and you said,
"What do the boys study?"
135
00:07:07,176 --> 00:07:08,459
Yeah, right.
136
00:07:10,476 --> 00:07:12,393
But, you know, I really think
I impressed her
137
00:07:12,426 --> 00:07:15,509
when I told her that
we were related to Larry Fine.
138
00:07:16,043 --> 00:07:19,873
Larry Fine of the Three Stooges?
139
00:07:19,159 --> 00:07:22,376
Now, you see,
and you thought no one knew.
140
00:07:22,409 --> 00:07:25,293
Is he the funny-looking one
with the kinky hair
141
00:07:25,326 --> 00:07:28,309
-who always acts like a moron?
-Yeah.
142
00:07:28,343 --> 00:07:29,509
We're not related to him.
143
00:07:30,043 --> 00:07:32,193
Yeah, but Ma,
we so easily could be.
144
00:07:33,443 --> 00:07:35,193
You know, Grace,
I didn't get into that school.
145
00:07:35,226 --> 00:07:37,043
What makes you think you will?
146
00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:40,203
Because I study, I write well,
I've maintained a 4.0-grade
average.
147
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:43,259
Okay, but If I have the choice
between being smart
and being good-looking...
148
00:07:43,293 --> 00:07:45,176
You'd pick either?
149
00:07:45,209 --> 00:07:46,326
Niles.
150
00:07:46,359 --> 00:07:48,409
The minute you arrive,
you tell that theater owner
151
00:07:48,443 --> 00:07:51,159
he better not jack up the rent
or next time he'll have
to deal with me.
152
00:07:51,193 --> 00:07:54,359
Oh, C.C., there's no need
to frighten the man.
153
00:07:54,393 --> 00:07:56,459
-Where are you going?
-Darling, I have to go to London
154
00:07:56,493 --> 00:07:58,359
-for an emergency meeting.
-What?
155
00:07:58,393 --> 00:08:01,343
I'm sorry, but I'm going
on the Concorde,
so I'll be back tomorrow night.
156
00:08:01,376 --> 00:08:02,393
Niles!
157
00:08:07,203 --> 00:08:11,326
No, no, I'm not sending you
any more money,
so stop calling me.
158
00:08:11,359 --> 00:08:13,393
If Mommy calls again,
I'm not here.
159
00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:18,359
Well, if it isn't
Jane Austen Powers.
160
00:08:19,493 --> 00:08:21,443
Why can't you
just be happy for me?
161
00:08:21,476 --> 00:08:24,373
Being called "sir" is new to me.
162
00:08:24,703 --> 00:08:26,443
You're used to it.
163
00:08:26,476 --> 00:08:29,509
Well, Niles, I'm very happy
about your newfound title.
164
00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:32,193
It must be quite a check.
Come on, let's see it.
165
00:08:32,226 --> 00:08:33,443
Well, it hasn't come yet.
166
00:08:33,476 --> 00:08:36,359
Oh, in that case, go upstairs
and pack my bags, would you?
167
00:08:36,393 --> 00:08:38,293
Okay. But you'd better watch
168
00:08:38,326 --> 00:08:41,373
because after my check arrives,
I'll be loaded.
169
00:08:41,703 --> 00:08:42,509
Again, just like you.
170
00:08:48,259 --> 00:08:51,309
[humming]
171
00:08:55,373 --> 00:08:57,176
Uh, Niles,
I had to let Rodney in.
172
00:08:57,209 --> 00:09:00,226
Oh, good, because that will
probably be your job now.
173
00:09:03,259 --> 00:09:04,359
-Niles.
-Sir.
174
00:09:04,393 --> 00:09:07,359
Good Lord, the last time
I saw you,
175
00:09:07,393 --> 00:09:08,493
we were all pheasant hunting.
176
00:09:08,526 --> 00:09:11,526
Somebody bagged a bird
with the very first shot.
177
00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:13,703
That was you.
178
00:09:13,143 --> 00:09:14,309
No, no, no. But remember
the next night
179
00:09:14,343 --> 00:09:16,326
when it was
so delicious under glass
180
00:09:16,359 --> 00:09:19,209
with the little red potatoes?
That was me.
181
00:09:20,526 --> 00:09:23,309
-Anyway, if you want some food,
the kitchen's that way.
-[scoffs]
182
00:09:23,343 --> 00:09:25,203
You want a drink, follow him.
183
00:09:27,873 --> 00:09:30,043
Hello. C.C. Babcock,
Maxwell's business partner.
184
00:09:30,373 --> 00:09:32,159
Ah, it's a pleasure.
185
00:09:32,193 --> 00:09:35,426
Whatever happened
to that plump brunette
he partnered with after college?
186
00:09:38,443 --> 00:09:39,459
I have no idea.
187
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:45,159
-Oh, hi, Rodney.
-Oh, Fran, hello.
188
00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:47,493
Max left for London
without giving me
his investments...
189
00:09:47,526 --> 00:09:50,326
-Oh! Oh.
-...and I've got
a 5:00 deadline.
190
00:09:50,359 --> 00:09:53,393
-Can you write me a check?
-No. No.
191
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:56,043
-She cannot.
-Why not?
192
00:09:56,373 --> 00:09:59,373
-You're his wife, aren't you?
-Yes, Rodney.
193
00:09:59,703 --> 00:10:01,293
Yes, I am.
194
00:10:01,326 --> 00:10:06,373
Yes, but I am his
business partner,
and I am in charge of the money.
195
00:10:06,703 --> 00:10:10,293
Yes, but this is
a private investment
made by Max and myself.
196
00:10:10,326 --> 00:10:13,176
Well, I am in charge of that too
because you're stupid.
197
00:10:15,543 --> 00:10:18,526
Now, Miss Babcock,
my husband wants in on this deal
198
00:10:19,203 --> 00:10:22,043
and I'm just doing
what he would want.
How much do you need?
199
00:10:22,373 --> 00:10:24,343
An even million
was the figure we discussed.
200
00:10:24,376 --> 00:10:26,193
A million?
Give me that checkbook!
201
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:29,409
Over my dead body. Oh, look,
Rodney's checking out your tush.
202
00:10:29,443 --> 00:10:31,359
Oh, really?
203
00:10:31,393 --> 00:10:33,476
-How many zeroes in a mil?
-Six.
204
00:10:33,509 --> 00:10:35,159
Oh, wow!
205
00:10:35,193 --> 00:10:36,526
Look at that. When you put
the smiley faces in,
206
00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:39,393
it looks like the Osmond family.
207
00:10:39,426 --> 00:10:43,509
-Mrs. Fran Sheffield. [guffaws]
-Well, sign away.
208
00:10:44,043 --> 00:10:47,226
Because it's the last time
you'll use that name.
209
00:10:47,259 --> 00:10:49,509
Thank you, Fran. You've just
made the deal of a lifetime.
210
00:10:50,043 --> 00:10:51,476
Well, you are welcome, sir.
211
00:10:53,159 --> 00:10:54,276
[scoffs]
212
00:10:54,309 --> 00:10:57,276
Fran, uh, Jocelyn's here.
And do you have any idea
213
00:10:57,309 --> 00:10:59,459
why Niles would want me
to make him a sandwich?
214
00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:02,543
Oh, they made him a lord
or something.
215
00:11:02,873 --> 00:11:03,476
Just humor him, humor him.
216
00:11:04,526 --> 00:11:06,426
-[Fran] Hi.
-Oh, ta-ta.
217
00:11:06,459 --> 00:11:09,459
So good to see you.
Let's have lunch.
218
00:11:09,493 --> 00:11:11,309
God, I could really go
for that Rodney.
219
00:11:11,343 --> 00:11:15,043
[chuckles] Well, why don't you?
He's handsome, he's single.
220
00:11:15,373 --> 00:11:16,443
-He's broke.
-What?
221
00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:19,493
Darling, everyone in England
knows he's penniless.
222
00:11:19,526 --> 00:11:22,543
He's gone through his own money
and everyone else's.
223
00:11:22,873 --> 00:11:24,476
He must be over here
looking for new victims.
224
00:11:24,509 --> 00:11:27,443
[gasps]
225
00:11:27,476 --> 00:11:30,526
Oh, Maxwell's gonna fire you
when he hears you let me
write that check.
226
00:11:39,373 --> 00:11:41,509
Nanny Fine,
maybe you misunderstood
the bank.
227
00:11:42,043 --> 00:11:45,426
How? They said Rodney already
wired the money to Switzerland
228
00:11:45,459 --> 00:11:48,373
and it was too late
to stop the check.
229
00:11:48,703 --> 00:11:50,376
I know. I just wanted
to hear it again.
230
00:11:52,176 --> 00:11:53,393
Oh, cheer up, Nanny Fine.
231
00:11:53,426 --> 00:11:55,373
Whenever I'm depressed,
232
00:11:55,703 --> 00:11:57,326
I think about people
who are worse off than myself
233
00:11:57,359 --> 00:11:59,259
and then I visit them. [laughs]
234
00:12:03,873 --> 00:12:05,243
Hey, Val. How you enjoying
your first day of work?
235
00:12:05,276 --> 00:12:06,526
Oh, I can't talk.
236
00:12:07,203 --> 00:12:10,493
I'm not supposed to have
non-doughnut-related
conversations.
237
00:12:11,443 --> 00:12:13,226
What's with the hair?
238
00:12:13,259 --> 00:12:15,226
Oh, it's my marketing strategy.
239
00:12:15,259 --> 00:12:19,393
See, I wear it
like cinnamon buns,
and hence, I sell more.
240
00:12:19,426 --> 00:12:21,243
Can I have another cinnamon bun?
241
00:12:21,276 --> 00:12:23,459
Ka-ching! Ka-ching!
242
00:12:27,476 --> 00:12:29,309
Here's to you, Nanny Fine.
243
00:12:29,343 --> 00:12:32,343
It was just a matter of time
before you screwed up
with Maxwell.
244
00:12:32,376 --> 00:12:34,509
I know.
245
00:12:35,043 --> 00:12:36,409
Well, look on the bright side.
246
00:12:36,443 --> 00:12:38,359
Maybe you can live
with one of the kids.
247
00:12:38,393 --> 00:12:40,309
Because when I move in,
they're out of there.
248
00:12:42,426 --> 00:12:46,526
Oh! Why am I such a loser?
249
00:12:47,203 --> 00:12:48,703
You got cocky.
250
00:12:50,143 --> 00:12:52,276
That'll bring you down
every time.
251
00:12:55,326 --> 00:12:58,243
Fran, there has got to be a way
to get that money back.
252
00:12:58,276 --> 00:13:02,209
How, Val? He already converted
the million bucks into Francs.
253
00:13:02,243 --> 00:13:04,443
Oh, well, once you convert it
into hot dogs,
254
00:13:04,476 --> 00:13:08,143
well, it's very hard to trace.
255
00:13:09,259 --> 00:13:12,226
Loosen your cinnamon buns,
would you?
256
00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:15,426
Fran, this isn't like you.
I've never seen you defeated.
257
00:13:15,459 --> 00:13:19,203
Why don't you just go
to that Rodney guy
and demand your money back?
258
00:13:19,543 --> 00:13:21,209
Yeah, you go do that.
259
00:13:21,243 --> 00:13:25,543
Take your financial advice
from E. F. Muffin.
260
00:13:27,359 --> 00:13:30,703
Val, you are right.
261
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:34,393
This isn't me. Accepting doom.
Drowning my sorrows in jelly?
262
00:13:34,426 --> 00:13:37,459
No. I push this doughnut away.
263
00:13:37,493 --> 00:13:39,509
I am going to go to Rodney
264
00:13:40,043 --> 00:13:43,043
and demand that he give us
our money back.
265
00:13:43,373 --> 00:13:45,343
And if all else fails,
see if you can get me a job here
266
00:13:45,376 --> 00:13:47,243
because I could do
a gorgeous French cruller.
267
00:13:49,143 --> 00:13:50,509
Good luck, Nanny Fine.
268
00:13:51,043 --> 00:13:53,873
You'll get that check.
269
00:13:53,159 --> 00:13:54,393
Excuse me.
270
00:13:54,426 --> 00:13:56,373
NYPD.
271
00:13:57,293 --> 00:13:59,203
Why so blue?
272
00:14:05,493 --> 00:14:07,509
-Fran. Come in.
-Hi.
273
00:14:08,359 --> 00:14:10,276
What a surprise.
274
00:14:10,309 --> 00:14:11,426
Can I get you anything?
275
00:14:11,459 --> 00:14:15,043
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe a cracker, some Gouda,
276
00:14:15,373 --> 00:14:17,493
a million bucks?
277
00:14:17,526 --> 00:14:20,043
What are you saying?
You want your money back?
278
00:14:20,373 --> 00:14:21,243
Yes.
279
00:14:21,276 --> 00:14:23,176
And the cracker and the Gouda.
280
00:14:23,209 --> 00:14:25,873
Well, what happened? I mean,
281
00:14:25,159 --> 00:14:27,359
a few hours ago, you thought you
were making a good investment.
282
00:14:27,393 --> 00:14:31,143
Well, that was before I knew
you were broke,
and then I started to think
283
00:14:31,176 --> 00:14:33,343
maybe it's not
such a good investment.
284
00:14:33,376 --> 00:14:38,176
Look, Fran, if you're
uncomfortable investing with me,
285
00:14:38,209 --> 00:14:40,526
I'll write you a check,
right now.
286
00:14:43,543 --> 00:14:45,393
-[clears throat]
-I'm uncomfortable.
287
00:14:45,426 --> 00:14:47,509
Fran, you've gotta believe me.
288
00:14:48,043 --> 00:14:50,203
This was a good investment.
289
00:14:50,543 --> 00:14:53,143
I'd never steer Maxwell wrong.
He's like a brother to me.
290
00:14:53,176 --> 00:14:55,543
Well, then why did you lie
to him?
291
00:14:55,873 --> 00:14:57,243
And why did you pretend
to still be rich?
292
00:14:57,276 --> 00:15:02,043
Because I made
one bad investment
and everyone lost faith.
293
00:15:02,373 --> 00:15:03,193
I mean, why are you here?
294
00:15:03,226 --> 00:15:04,359
Because you found out
I was broke
295
00:15:04,393 --> 00:15:06,326
and thought
I was a bad risk, right?
296
00:15:07,343 --> 00:15:10,203
Yeah, well, maybe.
297
00:15:12,193 --> 00:15:15,193
See, you have money.
You don't know what it's like
to be an underdog.
298
00:15:15,226 --> 00:15:18,159
Oh, please, are you kidding me?
299
00:15:18,193 --> 00:15:22,309
I was an underdog before
Underdog got his own series.
300
00:15:24,393 --> 00:15:27,873
You know
what it boils down to, Fran?
301
00:15:27,159 --> 00:15:28,476
I needed a break.
302
00:15:28,509 --> 00:15:31,543
And I knew if Max
invested with me,
303
00:15:31,873 --> 00:15:33,543
everyone else would follow.
304
00:15:33,873 --> 00:15:34,509
But I swear to you,
305
00:15:35,203 --> 00:15:37,443
I would never do anything
to hurt him.
306
00:15:37,476 --> 00:15:40,209
I just needed a second chance.
307
00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:43,159
Oh... Well... Oh.
308
00:15:43,193 --> 00:15:45,293
So is there anything else
I can get you?
309
00:15:46,226 --> 00:15:47,326
Well...
310
00:15:47,359 --> 00:15:50,343
That Gouda's probably
softening up by now.
311
00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:53,509
Would you settle
for a cinnamon bun?
312
00:15:54,043 --> 00:15:55,376
I don't even care for them.
313
00:15:55,409 --> 00:15:57,159
But I bought a dozen.
314
00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:01,343
[sighs] Oh, what to do?
315
00:16:01,376 --> 00:16:06,203
I wanna give the guy a break
but he lied to me.
316
00:16:06,543 --> 00:16:07,376
Oh, and you have never lied,
317
00:16:07,409 --> 00:16:11,359
Miss I-Went-to-a-Private-School-
and-I'm-Related-to-the-Stooges?
318
00:16:12,343 --> 00:16:14,043
Well, that was different.
319
00:16:14,373 --> 00:16:16,343
I was just trying to get Gracie
into a good school.
320
00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:20,259
And maybe he just wanted
to get his life back on track.
321
00:16:20,293 --> 00:16:23,703
You know, you both pretended
to be something that you're not.
322
00:16:23,143 --> 00:16:25,509
By the way, that lipstick
is way too blue for us.
323
00:16:27,459 --> 00:16:29,193
Oh, maybe you've got a point.
324
00:16:29,226 --> 00:16:31,193
Maybe I should just give
the guy a break.
325
00:16:31,226 --> 00:16:34,326
I mean, everyone deserves
a second chance.
326
00:16:34,359 --> 00:16:37,703
If you do this,
I'll give you a present.
327
00:16:37,143 --> 00:16:39,326
Really? What?
328
00:16:39,359 --> 00:16:42,509
How would you like to see
what you're going to look like
in 30 years?
329
00:16:43,043 --> 00:16:45,176
You can do that?
330
00:16:45,209 --> 00:16:46,276
Watch me.
331
00:16:52,459 --> 00:16:56,226
Oh, my God.
332
00:17:09,243 --> 00:17:11,343
-Hi.
-Nanny Fine, how did it go?
333
00:17:11,376 --> 00:17:13,293
Wait, wait, wait, let me guess.
334
00:17:13,326 --> 00:17:16,309
Rodney said, "I'll give you
the money back, but you'll miss
great investment."
335
00:17:16,343 --> 00:17:19,309
And you said,
"Oh, keep the million bucks.
I believe in you."
336
00:17:21,143 --> 00:17:22,226
Yes.
337
00:17:23,226 --> 00:17:25,509
-Oh, hello, sweetheart.
-Hi, hi.
338
00:17:26,043 --> 00:17:27,259
-Hi. [chuckles]
-Oh, it's good to be home.
339
00:17:27,293 --> 00:17:31,226
Oh, Maxwell, Nanny Fine has
a million things to tell you.
340
00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:36,543
Well, I've got something
to tell you, sweetheart.
341
00:17:36,873 --> 00:17:38,159
Rodney is flat broke.
342
00:17:38,426 --> 00:17:40,873
Really?
343
00:17:41,543 --> 00:17:42,409
I heard all about him in London.
344
00:17:42,443 --> 00:17:45,443
Appears he's up to his neck
in hock. Heh.
345
00:17:45,476 --> 00:17:49,393
Thank goodness I left before
I invested any money with him.
346
00:17:49,426 --> 00:17:51,293
So, what do you wanna tell me,
sweetheart?
347
00:17:57,703 --> 00:17:58,293
Well, uh...
348
00:17:58,326 --> 00:18:01,703
Rodney came over to the house
349
00:18:01,143 --> 00:18:04,203
and I wrote him out a check
for the million dollars
350
00:18:04,543 --> 00:18:08,873
that you just said you were glad
you never gave him.
351
00:18:08,159 --> 00:18:12,509
-And?
-And the worst part of it is
352
00:18:13,043 --> 00:18:18,359
he offered to give it
back to me,
and I still didn't take it.
353
00:18:18,393 --> 00:18:22,443
Uh, no, sweetheart,
uh, actually,
the worst part of it is
354
00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:25,259
that that door doesn't lock
from your side.
355
00:18:26,409 --> 00:18:27,409
Oh!
356
00:18:27,443 --> 00:18:29,259
Okay. Bye.
357
00:18:36,043 --> 00:18:38,873
Well, I decided to go
with my instincts.
358
00:18:38,159 --> 00:18:39,293
You know, follow my heart.
359
00:18:39,326 --> 00:18:41,293
I mean, what could possibly
go wrong when you...
360
00:18:41,326 --> 00:18:43,459
[gasps] Oh, my God.
361
00:18:43,493 --> 00:18:46,259
Oh, my God. Oh, boy.
362
00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:49,376
I don't know how you could have
trusted that thief.
363
00:18:49,409 --> 00:18:53,203
It's a good thing the money
doesn't mean that much to you.
364
00:18:54,309 --> 00:18:56,226
Let me... [clears thorat]
...try to put this to you
365
00:18:56,259 --> 00:18:58,259
-in a language you
could understand.
-Okay.
366
00:18:58,293 --> 00:19:00,873
Uh... [clears throat]
...do you have any idea
367
00:19:00,159 --> 00:19:02,293
-how much
one million dollars is, hmm?
-Uh... Unh.
368
00:19:02,326 --> 00:19:05,526
Oh, about 400,000 cartons
of Haagen-Dazs.
369
00:19:06,203 --> 00:19:07,159
Ah!
370
00:19:08,373 --> 00:19:10,243
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.
371
00:19:11,526 --> 00:19:14,703
Max, Fran.
372
00:19:14,143 --> 00:19:16,343
Where the hell is everything?
373
00:19:16,376 --> 00:19:19,226
Back where it belongs.
It's amazing what you can rent.
374
00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:22,226
Oh, listen to me, Rodney.
You owe my wife and me
an explanation.
375
00:19:22,259 --> 00:19:24,326
-Yeah.
-Actually, Maxwell,
376
00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:26,226
I owe your wife a big thanks.
377
00:19:26,259 --> 00:19:27,276
-Hmm?
-Oh.
378
00:19:27,309 --> 00:19:29,176
Once everybody heard
you'd invested,
379
00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:31,203
the money poured in
380
00:19:31,543 --> 00:19:33,209
and the deal went down
without a hitch.
381
00:19:33,243 --> 00:19:37,309
You, my old school friend,
have just made yourself 500,000.
382
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:40,176
-Oh, I did?
-Yes. Come on.
383
00:19:40,209 --> 00:19:41,459
-We'll call your broker.
-[Maxwell chuckles]
384
00:19:41,493 --> 00:19:44,493
From the kitchen, before they
switch the phone off.
385
00:19:46,193 --> 00:19:48,209
[whisteling]
386
00:19:48,243 --> 00:19:52,176
Oh! You're pretty happy
with yourself, aren't you?
387
00:19:52,209 --> 00:19:54,526
Oh, you know,
all's well that ends well.
388
00:19:55,203 --> 00:19:57,359
Just goes to show,
you gotta be yourself
in this world.
389
00:19:57,393 --> 00:20:00,043
Meanwhile, when are you
gonna start being yourself
390
00:20:00,373 --> 00:20:02,176
with that private school lady,
huh?
391
00:20:02,209 --> 00:20:04,209
Would you stop already
with that?
392
00:20:04,243 --> 00:20:06,426
God, has anyone ever told you
you're annoying?
393
00:20:07,276 --> 00:20:10,326
Just my voice.
394
00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:13,873
You know,
if you're so concerned,
395
00:20:13,159 --> 00:20:16,526
why don't you set
things straight
with the private school lady?
396
00:20:17,203 --> 00:20:19,526
Well, I can't, but if you don't,
397
00:20:20,203 --> 00:20:23,193
I can show your husband
what you're gonna look
like in 30 years.
398
00:20:24,526 --> 00:20:26,359
And I'm not related to a Stooge.
399
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:28,293
And I don't personally
know Tootie,
400
00:20:28,326 --> 00:20:31,526
and the crab I served
at the party was crab with a K.
401
00:20:32,203 --> 00:20:35,293
But that pianist
really was from Macy's.
402
00:20:36,293 --> 00:20:38,293
Well, I appreciate your candor,
403
00:20:38,326 --> 00:20:43,873
-but unfortunately the committee
has decided not to accept Grace.
-Huh.
404
00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:46,193
We're giving her spot
to an underprivileged
child from Queens.
405
00:20:46,226 --> 00:20:49,373
But I'm from Queens.
I'm a total schlub.
406
00:20:49,703 --> 00:20:50,293
I have no class.
407
00:20:50,326 --> 00:20:52,276
Oh, please take my kid.
408
00:20:52,309 --> 00:20:54,526
Oh, I know
you're classless, dear,
409
00:20:55,203 --> 00:20:58,493
but Grace is still
Maxwell Sheffield's daughter
410
00:20:58,526 --> 00:21:02,343
and the school has
too many children
from privileged backgrounds.
411
00:21:02,376 --> 00:21:05,209
So are you saying
that it's Maxwell's fault
412
00:21:05,243 --> 00:21:08,293
that our daughter isn't getting
into the school of her dreams?
413
00:21:08,326 --> 00:21:09,459
Mm-hmm.
414
00:21:09,493 --> 00:21:12,159
Oh, I feel so much better.
415
00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:15,509
-Chocolates?
-Oh!
416
00:21:22,443 --> 00:21:24,526
Worthless.
417
00:21:25,203 --> 00:21:28,243
How could I inherit
an estate that's worthless?
418
00:21:28,276 --> 00:21:29,509
I can't even claim the title,
419
00:21:30,043 --> 00:21:33,309
there's so many damn lawsuits
against it.
420
00:21:33,343 --> 00:21:36,509
Yeah, well, what about me?
I already hired six bridesmaids.
421
00:21:38,526 --> 00:21:40,143
And the worst part,
422
00:21:40,176 --> 00:21:43,176
I maxed out all my credit cards
on a new wardrobe.
423
00:21:43,209 --> 00:21:45,243
It'll take years
to pay them off.
424
00:21:45,276 --> 00:21:50,143
Niles, I'm sorry to interrupt,
but your break's over.
425
00:22:01,476 --> 00:22:03,309
[theme music playing]
426
00:22:19,143 --> 00:22:20,459
[theme music ends]
33860
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