All language subtitles for The Public Menace 1935 DVDRip x264

N�o ouviu o que eu disse?
Vamos indo.

Parece morto.
O que foi, acidente?

- Pergunte ao Capit�o. Est� morto?
- Fora!

Tommy, me deixe na sede do Bulletin,
pode ser?

- Pergunte ao Charlie.
- Oh, tudo bem,

- Seu passageiro n�o est� com pressa.
- Ok.

Bem, consegui minha li�enca esta manh�.

�? �timo, agora voc�
� um a�ougueiro com crach�?

Uma licen�a de casamento, n�o de m�dico.
� minha terceira vez.

Na primeira vez voc� diz que foi por amor,
culpa a falta de experi�ncia.

Na segunda vez se diz experiente,
e culpa o amor.

Na terceira � burrice mesmo
e caso encerrado.

Oh, � a melhor coisa do mundo
para um homem.

Sim, como suic�dio.

Eu n�o me casaria nem se estivesse sozinho
com ela em uma ilha deserta.

A� n�o precisaria.

Uma mulher acaba com o cara,
� como uma pedra atada no pesco�o.

- Especialmente na minha profiss�o.
- Parece que algu�m te magoou.

Oh, n�o, elas n�o tiveram chance.

Um cara como eu trabalha com gana,
com o cora��o.

Precisa de uma mulher pra ficar atucanando?
N�o, n�o!

Eu vou longe e mulher nenhuma
vai me segurar.

Sim senhor,
mulheres s�o venenosas.

Vo� vai cuidar do seq�estro em Jersey City.
O j�ri j� decidiu.

O'Connor, voc� e Brent ficam com
conselho do r�u.

Fred, voc� segue o promotor.
V� onde ele for, ok?

Se ele fugir para encontrar aquela loira
secret�ria dele, voc� vai tamb�m.

Fugir com a loira?
Mal posso esperar.

Clarkson, siga o Capit�o.
Keegan, fique � porta do j�ri.

E eu vou ficar na sala do tribunal
e cuidar da pauta principal.

Vou soltar adjetivos de cair o queixo.

Olha essa!

Morte fria e esperan�a calorosa se encontram hoje
sob este grande teto mofado.

Voc� vai cobrir a chegada
do navio a vapor Lancaster.

- O Lancaster? Eu?
- Sim, voc�!

N�o foi esse o barco em que
um homem caiu no mar?

Sim. Pode fazer algo a respeito?

- Voc� sabe, o velho estilo Foster.
- Claro!

"Homem empurrado por marido ciumento...

...para perecer nas profundezas do Atl�ntico.

- Vou fazer uma hist�ria e tanto.
- Vai � tomar um chute na bunda!

Veja. A chegada vale um par�grafo.

Agora v� e veja se d� conta,

Winchell.

Porque ainda n�o est� a caminho de Jersey City?

Andando!

Foster, por que Vossa Alteza
est� lidando com essa pauta chinfrim?

Porque meu editor tem c�rebro de ervilha.

- Lance um sem trunfo.
- Eu n�o, eu passo. � uma m�o Foster.

Uma roubada.

Bem, bebo em sua homenagem.

Caspa em seu cabelo, molho em seu colete
e pulgas em sua cueca.

Ele poderia ter dito tchau.

- Voc� � do jornal de Detroit, huh?
- Sim, Detroit Sheet.

Algum figur�o vindo no Lancaster?

Sim.

Algum de voc�s conhece
Mario Tonelli?

Por qu�?

Eu conhe�o, o entrevistei
em Chicago. Por qu�?

Ouvi falar que ele pode estar no Lancaster.

Tem certeza?

Est� maluco.
Tonelli est� escondido na Europa.

Porque acha que meu jornal me mandou
de Detroit at� aqui?

Para ver a vista?

- Vindo no Lancaster?
- Sim. Mas n�o o conhe�o de vista.

Divido minha grana com voc�s
se o identifcarem pra mim.

Certo, nada vai nos parar.
E se estiver certo,

ser� a maior manchete deste o armist�cio.

Ei, rapazes. Vamos nos divertir.
Vamos deixar Foster no v�cuo.

- Certo!
- Ah, ele � muito metido.

Ele que se dane!

You're quite a philosopher, aren't you?

You know beauty and brains don't
usually go together.

Well, you have to know how
to pick your parents.

You did alright.

That's a pretty good job too,
only you nicked me a couple of times.

I always brand my clients
so they won't forget me.

There's not much chance of
anybody forgetting you.

Here you are. Keep the change
and buy yourself something nice.

Oh, thanks, like a great big bowl
of onion soup.

- With Hasenpfeffer?
- Yeah, with apple strudel.

- Bye.
- Goodbye.

We're interrupting the program
to give you a special news flash...

...concerning the sensational Parker case.

Jury just brought in a verdict
of guilty in the first degree.

Told of this, Parker screamed
and raged in his cell.

He knew it meant the electric chair
in this State and that...

What's the matter, Tonelli?

Are you thinking about the time
when they'll be pressing...

...your pants in the electric chair?

I wonder if the smoke will come out of the
top of his head like the last guy I saw fry.

You cops have got nothing on me.

Except a tax dodge, and a couple
of bum stock deals.

Yeah, that's what the extradition
papers say,

but we still got a of posies to hang
around your neck.

How about that bank job
at Sarasota?

And the armored car stickup in Brooklyn
when you bumped off a cop?

A cop, Tonelli, a pal of mine.

You know I didn't do that.

You fools wouldn't have gotten to first
base if that dame hadn't squeeled.

Yeah, it has always been
your witness the dame, hasn't it?

But I'll bet you there won't be
one of them parked in your lap...

...when you squat in the hot seat.

You're not going to put me there.

Hiya, Popeye.
Take care of the heater, will ya?

I'm gonna find me a nice
deck chair and snooze.

There's no story on this barge.

When Foster says there's no story
on this barge, then there's no story.

- But Foster hasn't spoken yet.
- Which way are you going?

That's my business.
I don't run with the pack.

You remember me, don't you,
the lone wolf?

- And this is his night to howl.
- And how he'll howl when this yarn breaks.

The directors of this line expect
loyalty from every employee...

...and it's my business to see
that they get it.

Is it a crime to want to get home when
you haven't been home in five years?

You'll be home when we
get back to Greece.

- Hiya, skipper.
- What can I do for you?

Oh, you remember me, Red Foster
of the Bulletin.

Sorry, but I'm very busy just now.

Oh, that's alright, I'll wait around for
a while. The paper sent me out...

...to get a story on a guy that
got lost at sea.

Oh, all right.

You're sure of this, Mr. Collins?

Why, she's even been asking the passengers
for recommendations for a job in New York.

I saw a couple of them.

Place her under surveillance
the minute we dock in New York.

Deny her all shore privileges if you have
to lock her up in her cabin.

Oh, please, I want to go home.

Sorry, Miss Nichols, but the
matter is closed.

I'd like to push your face in!

Well, skipper, what gives up?
Who's the dame?

A beauty operator aboard.
She's trying to jump ship in New York.

That'll put us in a spot with
the immigration authorities.

- She's a Greek citizen.
- A Greek?

She's not really a Greek. She just
got mixed up in a lot of red tape.

It's the same the whole world over,
they're beautiful but they're dumb.

Say, how about that fellow
that got lost overboard?

- Well, is it Tonelli or isn't it?
- It ain't.

- Are you Foster of the Bulletin?
- Yeah.

Come in.

Come in, come in.

Close the door.

- Shall I lock it and throw the key away?
- Don't be funny.

Look, I've got the greatest newspaper
story in twenty years.

Oh, jumping ship isn't copy, toots.

It's not about me.
It's got something to do with...

End the verse and get
to the chorus, I haven't got all day.

You won't be in a hurry
when you hear what this is.

I could get a thousand dollars from
any paper in New York for this story.

Sure, if you're gonna do business
with anybody but the Bulletin,

you're wasting your time.
Do you know what our circulation is?

- What's the story?
- Alright, sit down.

A man was lost overboard
from this ship.

What a story, a guy lost at sea.

- Do you know who he was?
- Sure.

John Hastings, from Mamaroneck,
was lost at sea.

He held ths ship up two hours.

Worth a paragraph, that's all.

Have you ever heard of
the Jersey City kidnap case?

Now what's that got to do with
the guy falling overboard?

He didn't fall, he jumped.

It was suicide.

If I can prove that the man that was
convicted in Jersey City wasn't guilty,

and the man who jumped overboard was,
would that be a story?

If you had that, my little gardenia,
that would be a lollapalooza times two.

- Mind you, I said "if".
- No if about it.

The man left a confession.

- Ahh!
- Oh, you don't believe me, do you?

Sure, I believe you.

But way back in the back
of my head...

...there's a little voice that tells me
you're a slug lady.

All right, forget it.

There are other reporters aboard.

Hey, what's that?

The confession. He named everybody
including the man who did the killing.

Wait a minute, lady,
let me see that letter.

What do you think I am, dumb?

Oh, I don't believe Hastings even wrote it.

- Oh, you don't, hm?
- No.

Well, look.

Let's talk business, how much
do you want for it?

It's worth plenty, but I might give it
to you if you do me a little favor.

Sure, lady, I'll do anything you say.
Name your poison.

- Will you marry me?
- Will I...

Not while I'm in my
right mind and fully dressed.

Well, of all the...
Do you a little favor?

It's the only way I can get home,
you heard what he said.

He's going to lock me up.

I won't go back there.

- Have you ever tasted a Greek's coffee?
- Well, no, but...

Oh, wait a minute, lady, think of
all the pretty things...

...you can buy with the money
the Bulletin will give you.

Oh, I'd rather have one day
in Coney Island...

...than all the money in New York.

But it's a screwy idea,
we don't even know each other.

What difference does it make?
It's just a ceremony.

I'll let you go the minute
we get ashore.

Wait a minute, I got a better idea.
Look, the Bulletin's got influence, see?

Now you go back on this boat
and I give you my word of honor...

in six months' time you'll be
at 42nd St. and Broadway...

...with more dough than a greyhound
could jump over.

No deal.

Oh, wait a minute, lady, you're making
a big mistake.

You don't want to get tied up
to a ham reporter like me.

Why, you're a pretty kid,
you've got a great future.

Me, I'm a drunk. I pinch pennies,
eat crackers in bed.

I never take a bath. On the level,
you don't want any part of me.

I'm just a... just an onion.

Do you want the story or don't you?
Make up your mind?

- All right, you win.
- Oh, thanks!

Give me the letter.

You get the letter after
the captain marries us.

Come on, Mrs. Shylock,
let's get it over with!

Now, on this play, the quarterback
carries the ball.

Signal?

Well, is it him, is it Tonelli?

Oh boy, it's him!

Why, Mr. Ulsenheimer,
fancy meeting you here.

- Pardon me, may we use the plunger?
- What do you guys want?

- We want in!
- Listen, Lieutenant,

we know you've got Tonelli in here.
We just want to talk to him.

If you think Tonelli's here,
you're crazy.

- There's nobody in here...
- But us horses, I remember that one.

Just you two and Little Lord Fauntleroy.

Hiya, Toots!

- Hello, fellows, how are you?
- All right, come on in.

You look smart, Tonelli.
Taken off weight.

Maybe I have at that.

Say where did you go when
you checked out of Brooklyn?

What charge are they holding
on you, Tonelli?

How about that armor car stickup?

Now wait a minute, you guys.
You can talk to him all you like...

but not a line of this goes in the print
till I'll lock him up in a cell!

Alright, Lieutenant, we'll play ball.

Yes, and your name goes in 10-point type
with this, Lieutenant, don't forget that, boys.

I guess you boys will want
some pictures, won't you?

Sure, that's fine!

Listen, why not take one of me
and the coppers?

Give them the credit.
They made the pinch.

Yeah, no you don't! None of that arms
around stuff. I saw one of those before.

Stick 'em up, everybody!

Come on, reach!

Nice work, Dildy.

Will you have this woman for
your wedded wife,

will you love her, comfort her, honor,
keep her in sickness and in health...

forsaking all others,

as long as you both shall live?

I will.

And will you have this man for
your wedded husband,

will you love him, comfort him, honor,
and keep him in sickness and in health...

forsaking all others, as long as
you both shall live?

Yes, sir.

Then, in the powers in me invested,

I now pronounce you husband
and wife.

Thank you.

Thanks, Cap.

- Good luck, old boy.
- Thank you.

Hello, this is Captain Stone.

This is Lieutenant Roberts, Captain.
We're getting a break.

We're taking Tonelli ashore
on a press boat.

Tell him not to spread it around.

We want to keep it quiet.

I understand.
No, not a word.

Thank you. Well, I guess we'd better be
getting along. We've got to get ashore.

Don't forget you have to clear through the
Immigration Office at Ellis Island.

Ellis Island? Can't we go in
on the press boat?

No, indeed. There'll be quite
a bit of red tape...

...you young people will have
to go through.

I'm in kind of a hurry.
I've got some important business.

Sorry.
- Well, thanks just the same.

- Take your hands down and act natural.
- Dildy, watch those guys.

I want you to walk out of here
shoulder to shoulder.

One false move, I'll let you
have it in the back.

Start the break.

Isn't it romantic?

I always wondered what it would be like
to be married on board a ship.

Well, now you know.
Give me the confession.

Oh, wait till we get ashore, I don't want
anybody to know I've got it.

Nobody's gonna know about it but me,
come on, sister, give, give!

I'll get into trouble.

You'll get in trouble if you don't
give me that letter!

- Oh, wait till we get ashore.
- Now!

I never saw a dame yet that wouldn't
try to welch on a deal.

Hey, Stiglitz. Don't wait for me,
I'm going in on this boat.

Alright, Foster.

They'll do it to you on
general principles.

Hey, what is this, a frame-up?

- Is this whole thing a fake?
- Quit shoving me.

Why you little two-timing...

Framed!

Well, what are you balling for?

This will be the greatest story
in twenty years.

And no Bulletin reporter.

Oh, come on, crying isn't
gonna help it any.

- You're laughing!
- If you could only see your face.

- You little chisler!
- Oh, don't take it so hard.

Look at me, I'm not fussing
and I'm married to you.

If I had any sense I'd...

- Where are you going?
- Home.

Hey, Stiglitz!
Stiglitz, wait for me!

Home!
I'm home again.

Oh, a subway entrance,
isn't it wonderful?

Oh, look, there's an automat!

And a five-and-ten-cent store!
Oh, I want to spend the whole day in one.

How would you like to spend
a whole minute in silence?

I'm trying to think.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I caused you
so much trouble, really I am.

- But, well, I just had to get here.
- Well, you're here.

Oh, I'm so happy I could sing.

Before you start singing, here's something
more important to think about.

Now, the first thing tomorrow
we dig up a lawyer...

...and arrange to get a divorce,
you understand?

Sure, I'll do anything you say!

Where can I drop you off?

Oh, some nice soft bench
in Central Park.

Preferably one with a southern exposure.

Say, are you broke?

Oh, no, no, I'm just an heiress
in search of adventure.

You saw me hand out my last 5 dollars
for my landing slip.

Well, don't expect me to do
anything about it.

- I wasn't expecting you to.
- Well, don't.

And don't think you're gonna work up
any spoof with me that way either.

- You asked for this.
- After Greece this is heaven.

Here, take this.

What's the idea?
Now you see it, now you don't.

The idea is that I've got to pay
this taxi fare, don't I?

- Are you broke too?
- Oh, no, no, no!

In 120 million Americans
you had to pick me.

Lady, from a field that big
that is some picking.

# One night of love #
# When two hearts are one #

Hey, are you gonna park
in there all day?

Be out in a minute!

I gotta go to work.

- Good morning.
- Swell.

It's a wonder you don't wake
yourself up the way you snore.

I think I did.

It wouldn't be asking too much for you
to have left me just one dry towel.

Oh, did I use all the towels?

Thanks for leaving me the
shower curtain.

Well, sit down and eat your breakfast,
you'll feel better.

Breakfast? Looks more like a fire sale.

- Well anyway, the coffee's good.
- I hope so.

Hey where did you get that,
wring it out of a mop?

Did you ever taste a Greek's coffee?

Are you gonna bring that up again?

- Where are you going?
- Going to the office, then to see a lawyer.

- Oh.
- And listen, hoodoo.

You stay here till I phone,
you understand?

I ought to. You've said it often enough.

Thanks.

Oh, don't be so grumpy.
Look what a beautiful day it is.

All I need to make it perfect
is to fall and break a leg.

Here's everything from
the outside, boss.

Scooped by the Gazette.

Scooped by the Call.

Even the Dispatch.
Look at those headlines.

And what have we got?
"Volcano Erupts in Peru."

Bah!!!

Hiya, how's the tsar of the
circulation department?

- Oh, Red, how are you this morning?
- I feel swell.

You do? Well!

Subscription blanks?
What are you giving me these things for?

Thought they may help to tide you over.

50c apiece for subscriptions
is not to be sneezed at.

- Say, look who's here!
- It can't be!

But it is, and the show'll start
any minute now.

Say, Walt, you know a good lawyer?

What's the matter, you in a jam?

No, but a friend of mine is.

Should I call an ambulance
or the patrol?

- His Royal Highness has arrived.
- Who?

- The Duke of Scoops, our Mr. Foster.
- He's here?

He's in here? Leave me to him!

Hello, Fred! Fooled you yesterday,
didn't I?

You thought I'd try to dig up
a story on that boat.

Get out of here! Get out!

- What?
- Go to the cashier and get your dough.

Say, what is this, a gag?
You mean I'm fired?

You're not only fired, you're
the rottenest,

cheap immitation of a smart alec faker
that I ever kicked off a paper!

Say, wait a minute, you can fire me
but nobody says I'm a faker.

I fire you and I say you're a faker!

Just for that I will go to the cashier
and get my dough!

Hey, you can't do this to Mr. Frentrup.

- Sit down, boss.
- Are you alright, boss?

Hello.

- You're home early.
- Yeah.

- You're going out on a story?
- No.

Guess I'll look for a job.

Depression doesn't mean a thing
to the beauty business.

Women will have their hair done even
if they can't have a steak done.

Joke.

Ha-ha-ha.

Yes, they're really goofy
on the subject.

And it's not really such a bad idea.

No use going around looking
like an old shoe.

Jeepers creepers!

What's the matter?

While I was marrying you that story
was breaking on that ship.

Oh, my... I never dreamed that...

Of course not. You were to busy
hooking me with that fake kidnap yarn.

The greatest opportunity I ever
had in my life, a dynamite story!

Instead of getting it, I get you.

Package for Mr. Foster.

Thanks.

"Save your nickels and dimes."

"Looks like a long, hard winter.
Love, and kisses, the Bulletin Boys."

Well, I had it coming to me.

It's a wonder the city editor
didn't murder me.

- Did you lose your job?
- Did I...

No, they gave me a Pulitzer prize
for muffing the best story in years.

Oh... I'll look for work right away.

- It won't be much, but we can get by.
- We can get by?

I owe it to you.

Listen, the only thing you
owe me is a divorce.

But look, I want to help.
I feel terrible.

You wanna help? Do me a favor.

Park yourself some place where
I don't have to look at you.

- Yes, but I...
- Or listen to you!

I'll let you know where I'm staying.

Thanks for everything.

I said thanks for everything.

What do you want me to say,
you're welcome?

No, of course not.

Well, goodbye.

Hey, where are you going?

- The Waldorf, I think.
- Oh, come back here!

What's the idea anyhow?

- Sit down!
- Will you make up your mind!

First you tell me to go, then you tell me
to stay, I don't know what you want!

Well, you cant go roaming around the streets
of New York without a dime in your pocket.

And besides, how am I going to do
a solo on this divorce?

Hey, what are you doing,
crying or laughing?

I'm laughing.

You're crying!

Holy smokes, what a spot to be in,
what a mess!

- Could I make a suggestion?
- No!

It was one of your ideas
that started all this.

From now on I'll do the thinking.

Now, if you quit crying for a minute,
I'll tell you something.

I don't mind if you hang on
here for a while.

But you gotta find a job.

That's what I said.

And another thing, hoodoo.

This is Lena, the divorce bank.

From now on half of everything we earn
goes in there to pay the lawyer.

Sure.

She's not gonna be music
to your ears but...

...you're gonna listen to it
and you're gonna like it.

Good morning, madam, I'm working
my way through college...

selling subsciptions of the Bulletin and...

Well, you can get your diploma
somewhere else.

Good morning, madam.
Do you read the Bulletin?

- No hablo ing�s, se�or.
- Oh, that's alright.

I just want to give you an insurance policy
here that'll pay you $5,000.

Now, all you have to do is read
the Bulletin for six months.

Pero no compreendo el ingl�s, se�or.

- You have the face of a mangy old camel.
- No hablo ingl�s, se�or.

- Okay, auf wiedersehen.
- S�, se�or.

( In Mandarin)

No hable espa�ol.

And now, my little lads
and lassies of radioland,

when you hear the sound of the chime,

the musical note will indicate exactly
50c more towards the old divorce.

This program comes to you through the
courtesy of the Reno Divorce Corporation.

Divorce without remorse. Use our easy
payment plan and play while you pay.

- Where did you get that money?
- I'm a working woman.

I got on as extra at a swell
beauty shop.

Oh.

They may take me on stay next week.
One of the girls is getting married.

It's tough on the poor sap,
but it's a swell break for us.

I bet you can feel every wrinkle
in the sidewalks through those soles.

Why don't you break down
and buy yourself a pair of shoes?

And what would I use for money,
my little optimist?

Rob Lena. What's a few days
more or less on a divorce?

I've got all my life to buy shoes.

Well, you won't live long if you run a nail
in your foot and get lockjaw.

Speaking of lockjaw, what have
we got for dinner?

- Oh, canned corn, canned beans...
- Canned soup and canned peaches.

You forgot canned milk.

Look, why don't we go out
and meet just this once?

The restaurant keepers have a very
funny habit. They always want money.

We can starve, Lena eats.

I can't stand any more home food.

This morning I caught myself brushing
my teeth with a can opener.

You're not selling me a thing.

Oh, look, come on, I'll pay my half.

Nothing doing.

I know a swell little place
where we can dance.

Dance? I've been pounding the
pavements all day.

I'm gonna unsaddle these puppies
and put them out to pasture.

- Oh, come on, be a good egg.
- No!

- Please.
- No.

Say, you're not a bad dancer.

I've had heavier feet before me too.

You're not bad looking either,
in a way.

I thought you thought I was
a pain in the neck.

I do. But, I mean, you're the type
a lot of fellows could go for.

What type is that?

Oh, you know, baby face, plenty
of curves and a lot of nheh.

- You've got plenty of nheh yourself.
- Yeah, and I'm gonna hold on to it.

It won't do you any good
in your old age.

Oh, I'm so happy if I close my eyes...

...and stand on tiptoe I could scoop
a handful of stars out of the skies.

Guess you think I'm crazy,
don't you?

Well, you're right in there trying.

Hey, you're awful strong.

Plenty of spinach.

That'll be all!

# Oh, little divorce #
# Sweet little divorce #

# You've got to have that dough, of course #

Lena'a getting fat.

By tomorrow night there'll be enough
to pay the lawyer's retaining fee.

Then he can go ahead and
draw up the old...

...legal knolly process writs of
hocus pocus, etc., etc.

What grounds are you going to use?

Murder, mayhem, arson,
and infidelity.

It's putting it on kind
of thick, isn't it?

Well, you gotta put it on thick
in this State.

I sewed some buttons on your
shirts today.

Much obliged.

How some of these guys hold on
to jobs is beyond me.

Listen to this.

Two unidentified men, possibly gangsters,

were found dead today
in a red car in Yonkers.

The bodies were burned
beyond recognition.

The only clue to identification
being a tatooed cupid...

...on the wrist of one of the victims.

And they give a byline for that.

- What's a byline?
- Credits for writing the article.

You know, by H.G. Wells, by Arthur Brisbane,
by Red Foster.

Trouble with the newspaper business
is too many old, worn-out rewrite men. XXX

- I got on steady at the shop today.
- That's swell.

Guess I'll start looking for
a room tomorrow.

Oh, you don't have to be
in any hurry.

You can stick around here
for a while if you want to.

You can't get a divorce while
we're living together.

What do you mean living together?

Well, I mean, technically speaking.

Anyway, there's no need for my staying here
any longer now that I've got a steady job.

Yeah, I suppose that's right.

It's gonna seem funny not having anyone
yell at me to get out of the bathroom...

...or ball me out about the coffee.

Coffee's not bad since I showed
you how to make it.

Always have the water boiling
before you put the coffee in.

You ought to remember that.

Yes, I'll remember.

Come in.

- Hello, Mrs. Foster.
- Oh, good evening, Mrs. Mac.

- Won't you sit down?
- Oh, hello, have a chair.

The hard news again, Mr. Foster.

I was just coming down
to see you about that.

Yes, you see, I've got a special
assignment on Saturday and I...

Saturday won't do. I want something
on account now.

Aw, look, Mrs. Mac, on the level,
we haven't got a cent in the house.

- You've been saying that for weeks.
- Yes, but Saturday I'll have it all, sure.

Hm, I can't pay my bills
on your promises, Mr. Foster.

Aw, shucks, Mrs. Mac,
I haven't even got carfare.

He can't even buy himself a new
pair of shoes.

- Show the lady your shoes.
- Yeah, look at these shoes.

You manage to get hold of enough
to eat on.

What we eat? Mrs. Mac, if I was to tell you.
And even at that, it's all on a cuff.

Cross my heart, we haven't got
a dime, not a dime.

Look, I'll show you.

Oh, what's that?

That's just an old knickknack we keep collar
buttons in. I haven't seen that in weeks.

Ten, fifteen-nineteen...
nineteen dollars and fifty cents!

But Mrs. Mac, you can't have that.
That's for the di...

It's for the rent.
Nineteen-fifty on account.

And I want the rest on Saturday,
Mr. Foster.

Wasn't it a shame,
Lena falling just then?

Falling nothing. It was pushed.

- What?
- If that was an accident, I'm crazy.

After all these weeks of scrimping
and saving.

- Going without shoes even, all for nothing.
- I'm sorry!

Everytime I shoot square with you
you pull a low punch.

No, I didn't, honest!

- Honest? Coming from you that's funny.
- Oh, that's unfair.

The old build-up, eh?
Formula number one all over again.

Well, go on with it, turn on
the sex appeal.

- Please.
- The oldest trick in the world.

A dime a dozen on every
street corner.

- Where are you going?
- Out!

- Out where?
- Out here!

Hello? City editor's busy right now.

Just a minute.

Some woman. Says she's got inside
dope but she won't tell anyone but you.

Corruption hits Staten Island
sewing circle.

Sounds like she may have something.

City editor speaking, what is it?

Well, who are you? How do you know
they're gangsters?

Well, what are the details?
What are you holding out for?

What do you want?

Foster? Say, listen, I'll send you
a good reporter. This story...

Now, now, now, don't get excited,
you'll get Foster.

Just tell me who you are
and where he can find you.

Byline? Give that nitwit a byline?

Hey, don't hang up, wait a minute!
He'll get his byline.

But who'll he ask for?
How will he know who you are?

58th St., Seventh Avenue.

He'll be there, sister!

Get that palooka Foster
at his home right away!

Tell the morgue I want everything
they got on Tonelli.

Get me Red Foster.

Adams, do me a ripsnorting
obituary, full of color.

Edwards, give me a feature
on crime doesn't pay.

- The landlady says Foster isn't in.
- He wouldn't be.

Phone all the saloons. Try the press rooms.

Skreet, Shorty, get me a beer
and a hamburger.

Have police radio send up
a pickup call for Red Foster right away.

They won't pick him up unless
there's a charge on him.

Well, then put a charge against him!
Have him arrested for socking me in the eye.

- And an extra charge of petty larceny.
- Petty larceny?

He never earned the dough
we paid him, did he?

Hey, Tony!

Have you seen anything of
Red Foster around here?

- No, I haven't seen him in weeks.
- Where do you suppose he'd be?

Hey, Jack!

Come on, get out of there!

Hey, what's all the charm for,
what's the big idea?

The chief wants to see you.

Haven't seen him in weeks, huh?

Well, I w-w-wonder how
he got in there.

- Come on, make it snappy.
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.

- Give me time.
- The judge will give you that.

- Look, Walt, it's Winchell!
- Hiya, Winchie!

"Condemned man ate a hearty breakfast."

Hey, what's the idea of the
two exterminators?

For two cents I'd go through with this arrest
but I got you here for another reason.

- Boys, I'm dropping the charges.
- Alright.

Stop on your way out and tell Nick to give
you a couple of passes to the Follies.

Thanks, chief.

As much as I hate to say it, you're
getting another chance on the paper.

I thought you'd see the light
sooner or later.

You haven't changed a bit, have you,
Foster? Same shy, sweet boy.

Now listen. A woman telephoned in here
and said she's got a smash yarn.

If it's any good and you get it,
you're back on the staff.

At sixty a week and iced water
on my desk every morning?

Yeah, she says she'll be waiting for you
at Foo Young's chop suey joint...

...at 58th St. and Seventh Avenue.
Get going.

And Winchell, you get a byline.

This way, please.

- Hello.
- Hoodoo!

- I might have known it.
- Sit down, Red.

Not for a million! Say, what is this,
a gag just to keep me hanging around?

I moved ths morning.
Does that sound like a gag?

You've been so nice to me, I want
to do something to pay you back.

Haven't you done enough getting me
fired off the paper once...

...without crawling up and framing
a lot of hooey like this?

It isn't hooey, honest, look.

They couldn't identify those men in
the wreck. Even their fingers were burned.

No fingerprints, otherwise the police
would have known.

A couple of mobsters get burned
to death, so what?

I manicured a man's nails coming
over on the boat.

He had a cupid tattooed
on his wrist.

That man's name was Tonelli.

Hey!

- Hello.
- Thought you'd said you'd moved.

Well, I moved alright.

Well, what's the idea anyway,
moving right next door to me?

Oh, I looked all over and this is the nicest
place I could find for the money.

- Besides, I like the people here.
- Well you can't stay here.

Why don't you shut up?!

I'll stay anywhere I please,
this is a free country.

Well, either you get out or I do.

Oh, don't be so picayune.

Hey, quiet down! How can anybody sleep
with that row going on up there?

This is my wife and I'll fight
with her if I want to.

- Besides, this is a private fight.
- Well, it's one o'clock in the morning!

- You wanna make something of it?
- Yeah!

Uh, pardon me, you're the girl that
identified Tonelli's body, aren't you?

- Have you had any vaudeville offers?
- Smile, please, chin a little higher.

I'm very sorry, I'm not making
any statements except to the court.

One side, one side, the Bulletin has arrived
and the situation is well in hand.

Aw, come on, Red, oughtn't
to pull this on us.

Stand back, little boy, don't get in the way
of a genius when he's working.

Are you all set, Spud?

Yeah, I'd like one of her sitting there
looking a little pensive.

- Pensive?
- Yeah, look a little pensive right up here.

- How's that, okay, Spud?
- Yeah, a little more of the bony structure.

A little more of the bony structure.

Hey! This is a funeral,
not a Follies picture.

Are you all set, Spud!
Okay, let it go!

- Hey, what's the big idea?
- Sorry, pal, I'm a little busy today.

Come on, honey. Come on, Rembrandt, bring
the box and we'll get back to the office.

- How do you like a flip egg like that?
- He's a pal, ain't he.

Here you are, taxi, taxi!

Well, there's that dame,
the manicurist.

I can't get over why that babe
pulled this.

You ain't got no tattoo on your wrist.

Well, stop wondering. It's a great
break for me, ain't it?

Laid me out nice alright.

Yeah, it's the biggest thing since
Collosimo's funeral in Chicago.

Look at that crown.

Get me the cards of all those flowers.

I wanna check up and see how many
of you mugs let me down.

There's a bunch of dicks in the crowd.
I don't know if it's so smart to be here.

Shut up, I know what I'm doing.

Alright, it's your funeral.

Are you trying to be funny?

Hey, boss, here comes Mimi.
She's crying her eyes out.

Pardon me, could you please
pose for a picture?

Yes.

She sure is taking it big.

Yeah... too big.

Had you seen him since
he escaped from the sham?

Don't ask me any questions, please.
I'm too broken-hearted to talk.

- Oh, Mario, my poor Mario.
- Come on, boys, that's enough.

That's Mimi Laverne, Tonelli's sweetheart.

Will you please give me
your autograph?

Why don't you let her know
you ain't dead?

I got my own ideas.

- Joe, tail that car!
- Alright.

Wilson, stop in front of that
theater, will you?

Been waiting long, honey?

Only about an hour.
What kept you so long?

Well, I had to put on the weeps
for the newspapermen, didn't I?

You spread around so thick for a minute
you had me thinking you mean it.

Oh, don't make me laugh.
Give me a drag.

- Where are we going?
- Home, James.

You want me to tail them any longer?

No, I've seen enough.

Yoohoo!

Yoohoo!

- Hello.
- Hello.

I have to shave every day now.

My goodness.

- What are you laughing at?
- Oh, nothing.

Gee, you have the darnedest habit
of laughing at the wrong thing.

I know, isn't it awful?

- Are you hungry?
- No.

I thought some crackers and cheese.
How about some sandwiches?

Crackers? Anybody knows you can't
make sandwiches out of crackers.

I can.

Alright, hoodoo, bring your stuff
and come on over.

No, you come over here. You haven't
seen my apartment yet.

No, I can't. I've got some cold beer on ice.
You come on over here.

Oh, no, you come over here.

No, I'm not gonna pack all that
stuff over there.

- Besides, I'm tired. Come on over here.
- No, you come over here.

Oh, no, I can't.

Please, lady, go on over
so we can all get some sleep!

What awful things come out
of the ground after the rain.

I'll be right over.

Calling car 37.
Go to Church and Barclay.

Investigate two drunks stealing
a steam shovel.

That is all.

- Do we have to listen to that?
- Not necessarily.

- Want another pickle?
- Yeah, a sweet one, please.

Thanks.

Oh, this was a swell idea,
I was starved.

Very bad for you to eat
before you go to bed.

You get the gollywoggles.

Gollywoggles! What a crazy word.

You won't think it's crazy when
you get them.

That beer's not half bad.

- Skol!
- Prosit!

Haupt gesundheit!

- Here's to hot times, handsome.
- That's not a toast, that's a promise.

What's that?

There's a four-column head on
the front page, by Red Foster.

Around the bronze casket circled by
tiers of expensive floral tributes,

ten thousand friends and enemies
of the late unlamented Mario Tonelli,

tyrant of gangland, gathered today.

Is that literature or is that literature?

Oh, that's marvelous.
Read me some more.

Get his feet.

You're kicking off, Louie.
Who did it?

He's not...

- ...dead.
- Who's not dead?

- Tonelli.
- Where is he, Louie?

- Louie!
- That's all you'll get out of him.

Hey, Mac, can we get a picture?

- Yes.
- Spike!

Tonelli alive, what a yarn!

And do we make a monkey
out of the Bulletin. Come on, Spike.

And here's the seven-star final.

By Red Foster. Look at that spread.

Say, that's not a bad picture of you.

Oh, let me see.

- Say, what's the idea?
- So I can see.

Hello.

Hello, Fren! Some big break?
Do you need me?

Need you? You incompetent,
faking lame brain!

Your exclusive story!
Tonelli dead!

He's not dead. He killed two people
tonight and he lammed out.

But Fren, there must be a mistake, I...

And the Bulletin takes the rap
again for you.

First you get a scoop.

And then you frame a cheap fake with a dame
and make a fool out of your paper.

You're through, now and for good.

You're not a newspaperman, you're a
cracked-brain kid with a faking complex.

Oh, wait a minute, Fren...
Hello! Hello!

- What's the matter?
- You lied again.

- I... what do you mean?
- Tonelli.

You said he was dead.

Why did you let me print that story
with my byline on it?

- You wanted a byline, didn't you?
- Not that bad.

- Tonelli dead.
- Isn't he dead?

If he is, he's the toughest
ghost you ever saw.

He just bumped off two people and now
I'm bumped off the paper.

- You knew it all the time, didn't you?
- In a way.

What do you mean in a way?

Well... it could have been Tonelli
in that wreck just as easy.

Could've been? Yeah, it could've been
Daniel Boone too, but it wasn't.

Haven't you any brains at all?
Why did you do it for?

I wanted to help you, I wanted
you to get a story...

...so you could get back on the
paper again.

You wanted to hook me, just like
everything else you've done.

Just like tonight. You might have finished
the job if that phone hadn't rung.

- Oh, am I public sucker number one.
- Don't you see, I did it because...

I see, you're the slickest liar
that I've ever come in contact with.

Well, you've messed my life up
for the last time.

You'll never get another chance.
Now sister, you scram!

- No, wait a minute, I...
- On your way!

- Oh, don't you understand anything?
- I understand everything, now get out!

What do you want?

Homicide squad.

Well what do you want with me?

Get your hat on.

Come on, come on, where's the big boy?

I don't know anything about him,
I told you.

You knew enough to frame
him a fake alibi.

You're in a spot, sister. You'd better
kick through with what you know.

- Come on, where is he?
- I don't know, I don't know!

The more you talk the easier
it's gonna be for you.

I don't know anything about Tonelli,
honest I don't.

Lay off, she's afraid to talk.

She's afraid to know he'll put her
on the spot if she squeals.

You haven't got anything
to be afraid of.

We'll have him behind bars as soon
as you tell us where he is.

That's right, we'll protect you.

- Tell us where he is.
- How can I tell you what I don't know?

Then why did you say he was dead?

- I... I can't tell you, I won't.
- Yes you will.

I don't know anything about him!
Leave me alone, leave me alone!

Alright, take her back.

Good morning, madam, I'm a medical student
working my way through college.

Beat it!

Well, maybe you're right.

Uh, good morning, madam, I er...

I'm a Bulletin school medical... I uh...

I gotta go now.

But I tell you, she doesn't know
anything about Tonelli.

Isn't that funny, that's just
what she says.

It's the truth, she doesn't
know a thing.

What makes you so sure
of that, buddy?

Just because. I know, that's why.

You hear that, Bill. Go out and turn
the girl loose and apologize to her.

Just because! How do you like that?

Oh, you flatfeet make me sick!

You're making a goat out of a little girl
just to save your own faces.

She doesn't know any more
about Tonelli than you do.

Framing that alibi for him
was just a girl scout act.

I know what I'm talking about
I tell you.

Then why don't you talk sense?
Why did she bring that story for?

- Well, she...
- Anything you say will be used against you.

Oh, shut up!

- She wanted to...
- Come on, give, give.

Well, if you wanna know, she did it
to get me back my job in the paper.

To get you back your job
on the paper, eh?

Yeah, you see, she was the cause
of me losing it in the first place and...

...she was trying to get me back on.

Say, if you think you can get away with
any hooey like that, you're crazy!

He's crazy anyway.

Just what is this girl to you?

Why uh...

She's a sort of a...

She's my wife.

Married?! Scoops Foster married?

Hey, why don't you two guys
go and get yourselves run over?

Bill, maybe you'd better
lock him up too.

???

Get out of here with that
cheesy yarn of yours. We're busy!

- It's the truth, I tell you!
- All right!

Tell it to the DA, he's crazy
about that kind of story.

Alright, alright, wise guy,
I will tell it to the DA!

- And give him my regards.
- And me too!

Sergeant Haney speaking.

There's a bail bond man here
to spring the girl in the Tonelli case.

- All right, let her go.
- We could slap a murder charge against her.

- Yeah, why let her out?
- I want her out.

So you and Johnson can follow her.
Get on with it.

Who put out my bail for me?

You shouldn't worry, you're out,
aren't you?

- I'd like to thank him.
- Well, I know a fellow that knows him.

Be at my office tonight
at seven o'clock.

- Well, what about it?
- She'd like to thank him... personally.

He wants a manicure if you feel
like giving one.

- That's my business.
- All right.

My car's in the alley, I'll take
a look around.

- Let's pick him up.
- Take it easy, it's a setup.

It's all right.

We get them both when
we get Tonelli.

Come in.

- Oh, hello.
- Hello.

Sit down, sister, make yourself at home.

Get the manicure tools off my dresser.

Take off your hat.

Stick with that car.

Where did that fellow go that drove
in with that car a minute ago?

I think he lives in that apartment house
across the street.

Hello.
You have?

Yeah, we picked up Bill and tailed the car
to a garage on Second and Nathan.

Tonelli's holed in around
here somewhere.

All right, you stick with that car.

I'll send men to search every
apartment in that block.

- Will you have a little drink?
- Sure, I could use one.

They certainly out me over
the jumps last night.

- They treat you rough?
- Plenty.

Well, that's cops for you.
What did you tell them?

Nothing!

That's the stuff.

You know, I have an idea that you
and me are going to get along swell.

Thanks for going bail for me.

Oh, forget it. You did me
a good turn, didn't you?

What did you do it for, babe?

Um, well, I...

- Is this what you want?
- Yeah.

Get out on the roof and get
yourself a sunbath.

- Sunbath?
- Yeah, sunbath!

Okay, sunbath coming up.

A lot of things have happened since the last
time you gave my nails a once over, sister.

- Did you like the way I did them?
- Well, the scars have all healed.

- Give it another whir, will you?
- Sure.

- I'll try not to nick you this time.
- Can I depend on that?

Yes.

What made you frame
that alibi, babe?

Well... what do you think?

I think I ought to have a little
manicurist with me all the time.

It would be rather expensive, wouldn't it?

I'm the kind of guy that can
pay for what I want.

Oh, I... I'm so sorry.

Send Maloney in there.
And get me 23.

Spread the net around Second
and Dayton.

Calling all cars. Calling all cars.

Go at once to Second and Dayton.

Use no sirens.

Tonelli spotted in a hideout
at Second and Dayton!

Get out the riot squad.

Proceed at once to Second and Dayton
with all possible speed.

And make no noise.

- I think that's the apartment over there.
- Let's split up and cover it.

- There you are, how's that?
- That's swell.

I can see my face right in them.
How much do I owe you?

- Oh, that's all right, it's on the house.
- How about a little kiss in the house?

Well... how about a little drink
on the house?

It's not a bad idea.

Sometimes it helps.

Here's luck.

Come on, sit down.

- Your phone's ringing.
- Rings like that all the time.

I know, but don't you think you'd better
answer it? I might be your... your...

- My what?
- I don't know, what have you got?

What do you want?

Look, really, it might be important.

It couldn't be as important as that.

Hello?

There's a million flatfeet
around this block.

Don't answer the door.
Don't show your nose outside.

Alright, Joe.

Stool pigeon!

- What are you talking about?
- Cut out the stalling!

Hey, big boy!

There's cops all over the street.
They're going in every house on the block.

- Yeah, thanks to this dame.
- I didn't have anything to do with it!

He brought me here straight
from the jail, didn't you?

- They must have tailed us here.
- I'm in this just as deep as you are!

Let's make a break for it!

With a million cops around?
Don't be a sap!

Wait a minute, I've got an idea.

I think I can get us out of here.

- If it weren't for you we wouldn't be...
- Shut up, let her talk!

I've got a brother and he drives
an ambulance, see?

Now, if he could get past the cops,
why couldn't he come up here,

put you on the stretcher
and carry you out?

Go ahead, phone him.

This better be on the level.

You don't think I want those cops
to find me here, do you?

Calling car 103.
Go to Fulton and West.

See a woman about a man.
That is all.

- Hello?
- Hello, uh brother.

- This is me.
- Say how did you get out of jail?

I friend got me out.

Oh, a very dear friend. And he's sick,
he's desperately sick.

And I'm not feeling so well myself.

Well, what do you want me to do,
come up and hold your hand?

I want you to get your ambulance
and come here right away.

Get my what?

Don't you understand? You've got
to get him out of here.

You've got to get us both
out of here.

- Say, are you crazy?
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.

- What's the address here?
- Apartment 816.

- Apartment 816.
- Don't let her give that ad...

Shut up!

- 214, Dayton St.
- 214 Dayton St. And listen, listen...

Bring an extra intern suit.
And hurry!

An extra intern suit?

Say, if you think you're gonna take me
for another buggy ride, you're goofy.

What did he say?

- He'll be here.
- He'd better be. Get away from that phone.

Calling all cars. Calling all cars.

Proceed at once to 214 Dayton St.

Cooperate with the officers there
in the search for gangsters.

That is all.

Hey, Tommy, come on!

What are you waiting for? What's the matter
with you? Come on, get going!

- But listen...
- It's an emergency case!

Second and Dayton, I just
talked to your boss.

Well, I have to get Charlie...

We haven't got time to wait
for Charlie, come on, I'll drive!

Have you got an extra intern
suit in here?

Yeah!

Ah, that guy ain't coming,
we're stuck!

- Quiet down, you!
- He'll be here, I know he will.

- Has he had time to get here yet?
- He has to come all the way across town.

- Say, what's this all about?
- The biggest thing that ever happened.

- Do what I tell you, don't ask questions.
- I might lose my job.

If this goes wrong,
I'll get you a better one.

All you gotta do is sit still
and play dumb.

Looks like a cinch.

Listen to that dumb cop
blowing that siren.

Why all the hurry, what do you want?

It's a race, officer. A race for the
old stork, you get it?

I gotcha.

- Is that what we came for?
- Quiet, you lug!

Wait a minute!

Let her answer it.

And it had better be your brother.

Come on in here!

Close that door.

Oh, I knew you'd come.

- This is my brother.
- Pleased to meet you.

Same here.

You're getting me out of here,
you understand?

To Pier 32 East River, where I've got
a boat stashed and no slip-ups.

- Be a pleasure.
- Give me that suit.

- Hold it, she gets the suit.
- What about me?

I'll take care of you.

Come on, get out of it!

Hey, buddy, what's in there?

Just my mops and brooms
and things I work with.

Wh... why, what's the matter?

We're looking for a fella.

What you got there?

- Emergency case.
- Let's have a look.

- He's the janitor.
- What happened to him?

Sudden attack of some kind.
He's in a bad way.

Get along with him.

Hey, chief. How's about one of your men
helping me out here with this guy?

I don't want to be stopped
every ten feet.

- Go along with him, Mike.
- Thanks, chief.

Come on! Come on!

Well, what have you got here?

It's okay, Lieutenant, the janitor
was hurt.

I'll be right back.

Come on.

- 816.
- There it is right there.

Stand back.

Open it up.

Stick 'em up!

Come on, boys, look it over.

- Where's Tonelli?
- He s-s-stole my clothes... and got away.

- He got away how?
- Out th-th-the door.

Thanks, officer.
You've been a big help.

You're welcome, buddy.

Come on, folks, get up on curb there.
Hurry up, out of the way!

Come on, back this car up and let
the ambulance out. Hurry up!

Alright, fellas!

That's the hideout but he
got away. Come on!

Help! Help, they got me!

Help!

Help!

Well, what's the matter with you?

Oh... I don't know.

All of a sudden sumptn say... boom!

- And that's all I remember.
- Who hit you?

A... a man with a white suit.

And then when I was coming to...

...a man with a pistol pulled me
off the stretcher and threw me in there.

How did he get back up here?

He's the janitor.

I got it! He made his getaway
in the ambulance. Come on!

- And I helped him.
- I'll break you for this, Murphy.

Oh, you told me to do it.

Now that you've got him,
what are you going to do with him?

Take him to the Bulletin.
Right in the city editor's lap.

- That's a big job.
- He's got a big lap.

Come on, fellas! Tonelli got away.
Got away in the ambulance.

Come on! Get out of here you!
Come on, boys.

Hurry up!

Call the police to cover all the
harbor terminals.

Come along, boys, hurry up!

There they go!
They turned to the left.

Where are you going,
a masquerade party?

Is that Mrs. Foster?

Hey, Frentrup!

That man's here again.

Who... what...
Who let you in here?

- So I'm a liar and a faker, eh?
- You're a maniac, get out of here!

Oh, he thinks he's so smart,
let's take the story to the Gazette!

I haven't got time. I've got an exclusive
on the greatest story that ever broke!

- I've got Tonelli!
- You've got bats in your belfry!

Pardon me.

- What is wrong with...
- Come on!

- Hey, wait!
- You asked for him, you're gonna get him!

- There he comes now, he's in there.
- Who's in where?

Tonelli, you big egg!

- Well, what did you bring him here for?
- So you could interview him!

Dirty double-crosser!

Tonelli's in there!

Give up, Tonelli, you're through!

You think so?

You'll never take me!

Seek cover!

George, tear out the whole front page.
Get set for an extra!

I'll start the copy coming down
to you right away.

We've captured Tonelli!

What do you mean "we"?

Hey, hoodoo, get back in your tube!

What are you stalling for?
Write that story!

I don't take orders from you anymore.
I'm fired.

- Who ever said you were fired is crazy.
- That's what I think.

Oh, Red, don't go back on me now.
I need you!

You bet you do.
A hundred and twenty a week?

- Two hundred!
- Two hundred, yes, get going!

Write a straightaway lead.

Hey, Spud, what's the matter with you?
Get a picture of that!

- At my salary, Mr. Frentrup?
- $50 bonus for every picture you get.

Fifty dollars?

It's worth every bet at sixty!

Alright men, hold it!

Pardon me, aren't you Mrs. Foster?

Yes, yes I am.

Here's a little Valentine for you.

In the matter of Foster versus Foster,
petition for divorce.

Is the plaintiff ready?

May it please the court,
the plaintiff is not here yet.

We'd like a short delay if it would
so please the court.

Well, the court's wife is waiting
lunch with the court.

And the court could eat.

- Oh, here he is now.
- Take the stand.

Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth
the whole truth and nothing but the truth?

Yes, sir!

It's true, is it not,

that the defendant's intemperance
caused you extreme mental anguish.

Yes... well, not exactly anguish.

- Answer yes or no.
- No.

But that's beside the point,
Your Honor.

All that we are concerned with
is infidelity.

We shall prove that the defendant
violated the marriage covenant...

Hey, wait a minute, she didn't
violate anything!

- Judge, this is all a mistake.
- Mr. Foster,

do you or do you not want a divorce?

Yes, I don't.

Well, in that case, the court eats.

The court is recessed.

What's the idea of making me
look like a monkey?

Say, you're getting well paid
to look like a monkey.

Red, are you sure you don't
want a divorce?