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Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked)
by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew
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When a marriage breaks up,
there are numerous ways to cope.
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00:00:51,598 --> 00:00:54,260
You can cry. You can move.
3
00:00:54,634 --> 00:00:56,966
It's left-right, not right-left.
4
00:00:57,371 --> 00:01:01,034
Or, as Charlotte did, dive into a new routine.
5
00:01:01,174 --> 00:01:02,664
A tap routine.
6
00:01:02,809 --> 00:01:04,208
I feel good.
7
00:01:04,277 --> 00:01:07,110
I even signed up
for sculpture and tap dancing class.
8
00:01:07,180 --> 00:01:09,341
Because you can't do one without the other.
9
00:01:09,416 --> 00:01:11,976
And everyone keeps telling me
to take time to grieve.
10
00:01:12,052 --> 00:01:13,383
I don't need time.
11
00:01:13,453 --> 00:01:17,549
This divorce is going to be clean and swift,
like pulling off a Band-Aid.
12
00:01:17,624 --> 00:01:18,818
Carrie!
13
00:01:19,126 --> 00:01:21,560
My God, I thought that was you.
14
00:01:22,028 --> 00:01:25,361
There it was,
the unmistakable voice of Susan Sharon.
15
00:01:25,432 --> 00:01:28,458
- What's new? What's going on with you?
- Same old, same old.
16
00:01:28,535 --> 00:01:31,902
Just writing, gallivanting, eating.
You know, the usual.
17
00:01:31,972 --> 00:01:33,462
- Carrie!
- What?
18
00:01:33,740 --> 00:01:36,641
You're forgetting the most important thing.
19
00:01:40,347 --> 00:01:43,441
- They're engaged!
- You're getting married!
20
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My God!
21
00:01:45,485 --> 00:01:47,851
Aidan, mazel tov!
22
00:01:48,488 --> 00:01:50,786
Okay. Let me see, where's the...
23
00:01:50,857 --> 00:01:53,553
It's here, it's right here.
24
00:01:55,328 --> 00:01:56,795
Why is it around your neck?
25
00:01:56,863 --> 00:01:59,058
Is that what
the people are doing these days?
26
00:01:59,132 --> 00:02:01,862
- I'm so out of it.
- No, it's just me.
27
00:02:02,202 --> 00:02:04,602
It's closer to my heart this way.
28
00:02:08,141 --> 00:02:10,166
So, spring wedding?
29
00:02:10,243 --> 00:02:12,677
Fall wedding? Where are you doing it?
30
00:02:13,013 --> 00:02:15,948
God, we haven't even begun
to think about that stuff.
31
00:02:16,016 --> 00:02:17,711
You'd better chop-chop, missy.
32
00:02:17,784 --> 00:02:21,584
Because these places book up,
I'm telling you, years and years.
33
00:02:21,655 --> 00:02:23,680
Okay, anyway, the wedding.
34
00:02:24,524 --> 00:02:27,687
The next morning,
a hotel mogul and his publicist...
35
00:02:27,761 --> 00:02:30,252
began another grueling day at work.
36
00:02:32,098 --> 00:02:34,464
- Can I help you?
- You're gorgeous.
37
00:02:34,534 --> 00:02:36,297
Tell me something I don't know.
38
00:02:36,369 --> 00:02:38,894
As intimate as their personal affair
had become...
39
00:02:38,972 --> 00:02:43,909
when it came to their business affairs,
Samantha remained cool and professional...
40
00:02:48,915 --> 00:02:50,246
...in theory.
41
00:02:51,084 --> 00:02:52,176
J.J. Mitchell.
42
00:02:52,252 --> 00:02:55,551
J.J., Samantha Jones.
I have your column in my hand...
43
00:02:55,622 --> 00:02:57,089
and I'm very disappointed.
44
00:02:57,157 --> 00:02:59,717
Jonesy, I thought
you'd be sucking my dick...
45
00:02:59,793 --> 00:03:02,125
for getting
Richard Wright's name in the paper.
46
00:03:02,195 --> 00:03:05,892
We'll talk about your dick later. Richard
Wright canoodling with Bebe London?
47
00:03:05,966 --> 00:03:10,164
That's bullshit. I know he's canoodling with
one woman and it's not Bebe London.
48
00:03:10,237 --> 00:03:14,333
Okay, guess which hotheaded publicist
can't seem to keep track of her own client?
49
00:03:14,407 --> 00:03:17,934
Guess which two-bit gossip columnist
is talking out of his ass?
50
00:03:18,211 --> 00:03:20,702
Believe me,
I'd rather be talking out of your ass.
51
00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:22,680
So, just say the word...
52
00:03:23,617 --> 00:03:24,811
Jonesy?
53
00:03:25,785 --> 00:03:28,913
J.J. Mitchell's column said
you were canoodling with Bebe London.
54
00:03:28,989 --> 00:03:31,822
He's an idiot, just giving you a heads-up.
55
00:03:32,025 --> 00:03:33,788
All press is good press, right?
56
00:03:34,394 --> 00:03:36,521
So, you were canoodling
with Bebe London?
57
00:03:36,596 --> 00:03:38,257
Is that a problem?
58
00:03:39,432 --> 00:03:40,831
No.
59
00:03:40,901 --> 00:03:44,496
I just need to get all the facts
so I can do my job.
60
00:03:44,871 --> 00:03:49,205
Why don't you take a break from your job
and get that sexy ass in here?
61
00:03:59,619 --> 00:04:03,817
In an effort to drown out thoughts
of Richard canoodling with Bebe London...
62
00:04:03,890 --> 00:04:06,484
Samantha focused on her own canoodle.
63
00:04:07,794 --> 00:04:10,456
And in a more modest shower uptown...
64
00:04:13,366 --> 00:04:15,596
- Excuse me, have we met?
- Can I get in there?
65
00:04:15,669 --> 00:04:19,969
The Sheetrock guy is coming in 10 minutes.
It's really coming along over there.
66
00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:23,203
Walls are coming down,
washer-dryer's on the way.
67
00:04:24,911 --> 00:04:26,811
I forgot about the washer and dryer.
68
00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:29,440
I've been dreaming of that
my whole New York life.
69
00:04:29,516 --> 00:04:32,451
- Here's something else for you to chew on.
- What's that?
70
00:04:32,519 --> 00:04:33,645
How about Hawaii?
71
00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:36,917
- As what, the 50th state?
- As in, we get hitched.
72
00:04:36,990 --> 00:04:40,687
We grab a couple friends,
down some mai tais, tie the knot.
73
00:04:41,261 --> 00:04:43,354
You know, we can get "Maui'd."
74
00:04:43,430 --> 00:04:45,830
Buddy, did you just pun in the nude?
75
00:04:45,899 --> 00:04:48,527
- Yeah.
- What did I tell you about that?
76
00:04:49,502 --> 00:04:52,096
- Give me the soap.
- What do you think?
77
00:04:52,806 --> 00:04:54,831
- What, about Hawaii?
- Yeah.
78
00:04:55,508 --> 00:05:00,138
Come on, do I look like the "Hang-10,"
"Surf's-up" kind of bride to you?
79
00:05:00,714 --> 00:05:03,740
'Cause I really think
my grass skirt days are over.
80
00:05:03,817 --> 00:05:05,648
Okay, how about Aspen?
81
00:05:05,719 --> 00:05:07,619
Christmastime in Aspen
82
00:05:07,854 --> 00:05:10,152
You, me, a polar bear, a judge.
83
00:05:10,790 --> 00:05:12,417
How's that sound?
84
00:05:13,627 --> 00:05:15,993
For a shower with so little water pressure...
85
00:05:16,062 --> 00:05:19,190
I suddenly felt a ton of it
beating down on my shoulders.
86
00:05:22,268 --> 00:05:25,294
And here's the spine, right here.
87
00:05:25,739 --> 00:05:28,799
Isn't that incredible?
Here's the heart beating.
88
00:05:31,044 --> 00:05:32,102
See?
89
00:05:32,245 --> 00:05:34,611
Kind of. I think so.
90
00:05:35,548 --> 00:05:36,640
Okay.
91
00:05:37,283 --> 00:05:40,480
Do you want to know the sex?
I can tell you right now, if you do.
92
00:05:41,855 --> 00:05:43,686
- Okay.
- Sure?
93
00:05:47,127 --> 00:05:48,492
It's a boy.
94
00:05:50,363 --> 00:05:52,524
It's a boy. How do you feel?
95
00:05:58,138 --> 00:06:00,106
Great, a boy!
96
00:06:00,674 --> 00:06:02,403
Boy, oh boy.
97
00:06:04,310 --> 00:06:06,278
I just faked a sonogram.
98
00:06:06,913 --> 00:06:09,473
- I'm sorry?
- I was lying there...
99
00:06:09,549 --> 00:06:12,780
the technician's
giving me a guided tour of my uterus...
100
00:06:12,852 --> 00:06:14,717
then she tells me I'm having a boy...
101
00:06:14,788 --> 00:06:16,517
My God!
102
00:06:17,857 --> 00:06:20,382
- You're having a boy?
- You see? That.
103
00:06:20,593 --> 00:06:24,996
That's what this woman wanted out of me,
but I couldn't get it up for her. So, I faked it.
104
00:06:25,065 --> 00:06:27,465
What exactly
does a fake sonogram look like...
105
00:06:27,534 --> 00:06:29,729
in case I ever need to do it?
106
00:06:32,072 --> 00:06:34,506
Everyone else
is glowing about my pregnancy.
107
00:06:34,574 --> 00:06:35,472
When will I?
108
00:06:35,542 --> 00:06:39,273
I get the same thing every time
someone hears I'm engaged. They're like...
109
00:06:39,345 --> 00:06:43,475
I'm supposed to be all excited about
picking a date, and a place, and a theme.
110
00:06:43,550 --> 00:06:46,417
And I just want to lie down
and take a big nap.
111
00:06:46,486 --> 00:06:48,044
I feel like a deadbeat bride.
112
00:06:48,121 --> 00:06:50,715
So, don't do all that stupid stuff. Fuck them.
113
00:06:50,790 --> 00:06:54,157
I better do something soon
because I'm getting the distinct feeling...
114
00:06:54,227 --> 00:06:57,162
my grace period is O-V-E-R.
115
00:06:57,897 --> 00:07:01,389
I don't even want to look for a dress.
Me, no dress!
116
00:07:01,768 --> 00:07:04,896
- What's wrong here?
- Maybe it's like the dentist.
117
00:07:04,971 --> 00:07:08,532
You put it off and put it off,
and then you finally go...
118
00:07:08,608 --> 00:07:10,473
and afterwards you feel great.
119
00:07:10,543 --> 00:07:12,738
God, I have to go to the dentist.
120
00:07:12,812 --> 00:07:15,713
Okay, wait. I'm having a radical idea here.
121
00:07:16,182 --> 00:07:19,515
There's a horrible bridal shop
a couple of blocks away.
122
00:07:19,586 --> 00:07:22,316
- We could go...
- How do you even know this?
123
00:07:22,388 --> 00:07:25,323
Because every time I pass by it, I go "blech."
124
00:07:25,391 --> 00:07:28,451
We could run in, you
could try on the worst dress they have...
125
00:07:28,528 --> 00:07:30,621
just face the dragon, get it over with.
126
00:07:30,697 --> 00:07:34,394
And then I'll treat you to a Tasti-Delite.
It's like aversion shock therapy.
127
00:07:34,467 --> 00:07:37,095
You want me to try on a bad wedding dress?
128
00:07:37,170 --> 00:07:40,628
You're gonna have to do
a lot better than Tasti-Delite.
129
00:07:40,940 --> 00:07:42,703
I'll try one on too?
130
00:07:45,979 --> 00:07:47,469
- Hi!
- Hello.
131
00:07:47,547 --> 00:07:48,571
Ladies.
132
00:07:48,648 --> 00:07:51,412
My friend Miranda here is getting married.
133
00:07:51,484 --> 00:07:54,282
So we're looking for something special...
134
00:07:54,621 --> 00:07:56,282
and we're in kind of a hurry.
135
00:07:56,356 --> 00:07:58,551
And for Carrie here...
136
00:07:58,625 --> 00:08:01,458
we're thinking
of something with a lot of bows...
137
00:08:01,528 --> 00:08:05,430
very frilly and poofy.
We want her to look like a giant cupcake.
138
00:08:05,498 --> 00:08:08,524
I'm sorry,
which one of you is getting married?
139
00:08:08,601 --> 00:08:10,865
We both are. We do everything together.
140
00:08:10,937 --> 00:08:13,599
And right now,
Miranda has everything but the gown...
141
00:08:13,673 --> 00:08:15,573
- And the groom.
- Whoops!
142
00:08:15,875 --> 00:08:16,967
Okay.
143
00:08:17,110 --> 00:08:18,509
Is this a lesbian wedding?
144
00:08:18,578 --> 00:08:21,604
No, it's a very straight-laced,
conservative crowd.
145
00:08:21,681 --> 00:08:23,649
Lots of Wall Street types.
146
00:08:25,018 --> 00:08:27,316
I'll see what I can find. Come with me.
147
00:08:27,387 --> 00:08:29,412
Your rehearsal dinner is gonna rock.
148
00:08:29,489 --> 00:08:32,390
Okay, on the count of three...
149
00:08:33,293 --> 00:08:35,853
One, two...
150
00:08:46,673 --> 00:08:48,766
Stop, I'm going to pee in this thing.
151
00:08:48,842 --> 00:08:51,310
- Look at you!
- Look at yourself!
152
00:08:51,377 --> 00:08:54,039
- Hold still, you need a veil.
- Okay.
153
00:08:55,548 --> 00:08:57,914
Look, look.
154
00:09:00,086 --> 00:09:03,749
I look beautiful.
You can't even tell I'm pregnant in this.
155
00:09:03,823 --> 00:09:07,350
The sleeves balance out the tummy.
Don't you think it's kind of fetching?
156
00:09:07,427 --> 00:09:08,587
My God.
157
00:09:08,895 --> 00:09:12,262
This is too tight, I can't breathe.
Can you get it off me?
158
00:09:12,332 --> 00:09:14,630
- Are you kidding?
- No, I'm not kidding!
159
00:09:14,701 --> 00:09:17,033
You don't want the woman
to come back in here.
160
00:09:17,103 --> 00:09:20,095
I'm not kidding. Get it off!
I'm burning up. I can't breathe!
161
00:09:20,173 --> 00:09:21,470
I'm sorry!
162
00:09:21,541 --> 00:09:24,339
There are a million buttons back here!
163
00:09:24,410 --> 00:09:26,503
My God, your back is all red.
164
00:09:26,579 --> 00:09:29,480
Just get it off, just rip it off!
165
00:09:36,823 --> 00:09:38,017
My God.
166
00:09:38,992 --> 00:09:40,721
What just happened?
167
00:09:41,327 --> 00:09:44,785
- I can't do it, I can't get married.
- This is all your fault.
168
00:09:45,298 --> 00:09:49,632
- How could you take her to that dump?
- It was an experiment. It went awry.
169
00:09:49,702 --> 00:09:52,296
Okay, let's just slow down.
170
00:09:52,372 --> 00:09:55,000
This is classic cold feet.
Let's not do anything rash.
171
00:09:55,074 --> 00:09:57,702
Rash, yes exactly, rash. Look at this.
172
00:09:58,111 --> 00:10:01,706
My body is literally
rejecting the idea of marriage. Look!
173
00:10:01,781 --> 00:10:04,545
Once you get a rash from a guy,
it's time to heave-ho.
174
00:10:04,617 --> 00:10:07,552
No, it's not him, it's me.
I'm missing the bride gene.
175
00:10:07,620 --> 00:10:09,815
I should be put in a test tube and studied.
176
00:10:09,889 --> 00:10:12,357
It's not just you, I don't want to get married.
177
00:10:12,425 --> 00:10:13,517
Ever?
178
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:16,726
Why do we even have to get married? Why?
179
00:10:16,796 --> 00:10:18,229
Give me one good reason.
180
00:10:18,298 --> 00:10:21,290
Aside from
the not-wanting-to-die-alone thing.
181
00:10:21,634 --> 00:10:23,829
Which is something to think about, I admit.
182
00:10:23,903 --> 00:10:27,634
For me, when it was good,
it gave me a sense of security.
183
00:10:27,707 --> 00:10:29,572
But I feel secure now.
184
00:10:30,109 --> 00:10:31,940
Things are great with us.
185
00:10:32,011 --> 00:10:35,208
- You know what they say, "If it ain't broke..."
- Don't marry it.
186
00:10:35,281 --> 00:10:38,444
- What are you afraid would change?
- I don't know.
187
00:10:38,618 --> 00:10:39,846
Nothing.
188
00:10:40,186 --> 00:10:41,175
Everything.
189
00:10:41,254 --> 00:10:43,313
Every bride feels that way at one point.
190
00:10:43,389 --> 00:10:45,220
Why aren't they speaking up?
191
00:10:45,291 --> 00:10:48,385
Carrie, I'm going to ask you
an unpleasant question now.
192
00:10:48,461 --> 00:10:52,261
- Why did you ever say yes?
- Because I love him.
193
00:10:52,665 --> 00:10:56,533
A man you love, kneels in the street...
194
00:10:56,869 --> 00:11:00,100
and offers you a ring, you say yes.
That's what you do.
195
00:11:00,173 --> 00:11:03,939
You get married, you hope for the best.
It doesn't work out, you get divorced.
196
00:11:04,010 --> 00:11:06,137
You can take tap with Bo Jangles here.
197
00:11:06,212 --> 00:11:10,444
No, I can't take a vow of forever-and-ever,
if what I mean is...
198
00:11:10,516 --> 00:11:12,006
for-the-foreseeable-future.
199
00:11:12,085 --> 00:11:14,645
- I can't do that to Aidan.
- Talk to him about it.
200
00:11:14,721 --> 00:11:17,690
How do you talk about this?
"Aidan, what's up?
201
00:11:17,757 --> 00:11:20,749
"I've been having some doubts
about the whole 'I do' thing."
202
00:11:20,827 --> 00:11:24,126
Lt'll break his heart.
I should never have said yes.
203
00:11:24,297 --> 00:11:26,356
- I'm a bad person.
- It's amazing.
204
00:11:26,432 --> 00:11:29,333
In a courtroom, reasonable doubt
can get you off for murder.
205
00:11:29,402 --> 00:11:32,200
In an engagement,
it makes you feel like a bad person.
206
00:11:32,271 --> 00:11:35,365
Look, everyone
has anxiety around weddings.
207
00:11:35,608 --> 00:11:38,839
Maybe your anxiety threshold
is just lower than other people's.
208
00:11:38,911 --> 00:11:40,139
Interesting theory.
209
00:11:40,213 --> 00:11:43,478
You think that dress
is still outside the dumpster at Tasti-Delite?
210
00:11:44,951 --> 00:11:47,351
After being hit by a bridal wave...
211
00:11:47,420 --> 00:11:51,379
I tried to get my mind
around the concept of happily ever after.
212
00:11:54,394 --> 00:11:57,386
As progressive as our society claims to be...
213
00:11:57,563 --> 00:12:01,397
there are still certain life targets
we're all supposed to hit.
214
00:12:01,467 --> 00:12:05,062
Marriage, babies,
and a home to call your own.
215
00:12:05,138 --> 00:12:07,606
But what if,
instead of breaking out in a smile...
216
00:12:07,673 --> 00:12:09,106
you break out in a rash?
217
00:12:09,175 --> 00:12:12,269
Is something wrong with the system?
Or is it you?
218
00:12:12,345 --> 00:12:14,813
And do we really want these things?
219
00:12:14,881 --> 00:12:17,577
Or are we just programmed?
220
00:12:18,651 --> 00:12:22,519
In a crisis,
people always tell you to listen to your gut.
221
00:12:22,588 --> 00:12:25,386
Mine was telling me to start smoking again.
222
00:12:25,458 --> 00:12:26,482
Hi.
223
00:12:27,427 --> 00:12:29,554
Marlboro Lights, please.
224
00:12:33,566 --> 00:12:35,864
But I decided not to throw it all away.
225
00:12:36,035 --> 00:12:38,435
You know what? Actually...
226
00:12:39,305 --> 00:12:40,670
Just these.
227
00:12:41,274 --> 00:12:43,970
Later, while Aidan
worked on the apartment next door...
228
00:12:44,043 --> 00:12:46,568
I worked on reprogramming my attitude.
229
00:12:46,646 --> 00:12:48,671
Could I be a spring bride?
230
00:12:52,018 --> 00:12:53,417
Happy bride?
231
00:12:56,089 --> 00:12:57,613
Peekaboo bride?
232
00:12:58,491 --> 00:12:59,583
Stop!
233
00:13:00,259 --> 00:13:02,056
Stop, Aidan, stop it!
234
00:13:08,568 --> 00:13:10,798
Aidan!
235
00:13:12,905 --> 00:13:14,532
I'm freaking out.
236
00:13:15,141 --> 00:13:16,540
I can't, I...
237
00:13:17,443 --> 00:13:18,774
I cannot...
238
00:13:19,178 --> 00:13:20,668
I am having...
239
00:13:20,847 --> 00:13:24,476
a very strong reaction to all this change.
240
00:13:24,550 --> 00:13:27,542
- Okay, just don't freak out.
- I am freaking out!
241
00:13:27,620 --> 00:13:30,282
- It all just feels really fast.
- The hole?
242
00:13:30,356 --> 00:13:33,757
- I told you I was gonna come through there...
- It's not just the hole!
243
00:13:36,729 --> 00:13:37,821
What?
244
00:13:44,570 --> 00:13:46,538
It's the marriage stuff.
245
00:13:48,374 --> 00:13:50,308
I love you and I'm sorry...
246
00:13:50,376 --> 00:13:53,368
if I'm not supposed to talk to you about this.
247
00:13:56,082 --> 00:13:57,572
But I have to.
248
00:14:00,553 --> 00:14:01,884
Come here.
249
00:14:01,988 --> 00:14:04,081
Just sit down on the floor.
250
00:14:12,331 --> 00:14:13,958
What's happening?
251
00:14:18,137 --> 00:14:20,469
I didn't want to say anything...
252
00:14:21,007 --> 00:14:23,805
but then that thing came through my wall.
253
00:14:29,882 --> 00:14:32,976
I don't think
that I'm ready to get married yet.
254
00:14:36,155 --> 00:14:38,885
- Do you hate me?
- No, come on.
255
00:14:39,759 --> 00:14:43,718
- You're catching me a little off guard here.
- I know, I just...
256
00:14:45,431 --> 00:14:46,796
I hear you.
257
00:14:52,972 --> 00:14:54,769
I need a minute here.
258
00:15:00,179 --> 00:15:03,342
Is it because I said we could get "Maui'd"?
259
00:15:09,088 --> 00:15:11,215
Thank you for making a joke.
260
00:15:14,193 --> 00:15:15,922
Let's slow it down.
261
00:15:17,230 --> 00:15:19,562
Okay, how much time do you need?
262
00:15:20,833 --> 00:15:22,198
Six months?
263
00:15:23,736 --> 00:15:25,135
Nine months?
264
00:15:28,341 --> 00:15:30,741
- The end of the year?
- Which year?
265
00:15:33,813 --> 00:15:35,940
So, you just need some time?
266
00:15:37,283 --> 00:15:38,375
Yeah.
267
00:15:38,884 --> 00:15:40,249
I think so.
268
00:15:41,087 --> 00:15:42,179
Okay.
269
00:15:44,857 --> 00:15:46,449
We'll get there.
270
00:15:48,594 --> 00:15:50,221
Thank you, Aidan.
271
00:15:51,964 --> 00:15:53,932
Thank you for listening.
272
00:15:58,204 --> 00:16:00,604
Did you see the washer and dryer?
273
00:16:07,213 --> 00:16:08,578
I love you.
274
00:16:11,917 --> 00:16:16,081
The next day, Miranda enjoyed
a few moments of solitude with her bills...
275
00:16:16,155 --> 00:16:17,554
and her cleaning lady.
276
00:16:17,623 --> 00:16:18,749
Magda?
277
00:16:18,824 --> 00:16:21,759
I'm going to pay you
for a whole month, okay?
278
00:16:23,696 --> 00:16:27,655
Look what I found on the kitchen counter.
It's beautiful!
279
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:31,397
- Did they tell you boy or girl?
- Yes, it's a boy.
280
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:35,800
A boy!
281
00:16:37,476 --> 00:16:41,970
A boy is coming into the house.
A boy is highest blessing, it's good luck.
282
00:16:43,683 --> 00:16:44,843
Smile.
283
00:16:49,989 --> 00:16:51,581
Smile for a boy.
284
00:16:52,692 --> 00:16:53,852
A boy!
285
00:16:55,027 --> 00:16:56,187
A boy!
286
00:17:06,405 --> 00:17:10,865
And while Miranda had tea for one,
Charlotte was mastering Tea for Two.
287
00:17:10,943 --> 00:17:13,844
We're coming across the floor with me
288
00:17:15,314 --> 00:17:19,250
Step shuffle step for you,
step shuffle step for me.
289
00:17:22,221 --> 00:17:24,451
And now, two by two.
290
00:17:24,857 --> 00:17:25,881
Go!
291
00:17:28,461 --> 00:17:29,792
Next pair.
292
00:17:31,397 --> 00:17:32,489
Nice!
293
00:17:37,269 --> 00:17:38,600
Very nice.
294
00:17:42,508 --> 00:17:44,408
You, in the flowers...
295
00:17:44,610 --> 00:17:45,508
go!
296
00:17:45,578 --> 00:17:48,411
- I don't have a partner.
- Just go it alone.
297
00:17:48,514 --> 00:17:50,072
And go!
298
00:17:50,383 --> 00:17:54,342
- I don't want to go it alone.
- You'll be fine. Come on, flowers.
299
00:17:54,954 --> 00:17:59,288
Picture me upon your knee
300
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:04,828
I can't do this, I'm sorry, I can't.
And I shouldn't have to.
301
00:18:04,897 --> 00:18:08,958
I deserve a real partner.
And this song is abusive and hurtful.
302
00:18:09,034 --> 00:18:10,524
Should I stop?
303
00:18:10,669 --> 00:18:13,103
You should
think about how a person would feel...
304
00:18:13,172 --> 00:18:15,333
who's going through a difficult divorce...
305
00:18:15,408 --> 00:18:19,504
and who just comes here to have fun
and feel good about themselves!
306
00:18:24,750 --> 00:18:29,517
In her attempt to skip over her grief,
Charlotte tapped into her pain.
307
00:18:37,363 --> 00:18:41,390
The next week, we all put on our finest
and gathered at the Black and White Ball...
308
00:18:41,467 --> 00:18:44,061
Richard Wright's charity fundraiser.
309
00:18:46,405 --> 00:18:48,805
Aidan looks so handsome in a tux.
310
00:18:49,008 --> 00:18:50,873
- Yeah.
- How's he doing?
311
00:18:51,677 --> 00:18:53,406
Good, good.
312
00:18:53,746 --> 00:18:56,237
Still a little thrown
about the change in plans...
313
00:18:56,315 --> 00:18:57,577
but good.
314
00:18:58,717 --> 00:19:00,617
I just hope I did the right thing.
315
00:19:00,686 --> 00:19:04,645
You followed your feelings.
That's always the right thing to do.
316
00:19:05,758 --> 00:19:07,419
I'm drinking seltzer...
317
00:19:07,493 --> 00:19:10,018
and I'm in a formal gown
with an elasto-waist.
318
00:19:10,095 --> 00:19:11,892
I really fit in here.
319
00:19:12,198 --> 00:19:16,692
Do you realize you're growing
a teeny tiny penis inside you?
320
00:19:17,203 --> 00:19:18,363
That's so sci-fi.
321
00:19:18,437 --> 00:19:21,565
My God! You're having a boy?
322
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:23,767
Aren't you so excited?
323
00:19:26,879 --> 00:19:30,144
Two glasses of French fizz here
and a sody for you.
324
00:19:30,216 --> 00:19:33,310
Did you know that Miranda's having a boy?
325
00:19:34,787 --> 00:19:37,085
I think I'm going to hurt myself.
326
00:19:37,156 --> 00:19:39,454
I trust
you're finding something noteworthy...
327
00:19:39,525 --> 00:19:41,516
to put in your column, J.J.?
328
00:19:41,594 --> 00:19:42,959
Look at you.
329
00:19:43,028 --> 00:19:46,088
I can think of other places
I'd like to put my column tonight.
330
00:19:46,165 --> 00:19:48,429
- Dream on, J.J.
- Never hurts to ask, right?
331
00:19:48,501 --> 00:19:50,128
I'm sure you know this one...
332
00:19:50,202 --> 00:19:53,638
but guess which hotel king
is having very private relations...
333
00:19:53,706 --> 00:19:55,571
with a very public New York woman?
334
00:19:55,641 --> 00:19:57,802
I guess the cat's out of the bag.
335
00:19:57,877 --> 00:20:00,812
It's out of the bag. Look at them together.
336
00:20:03,082 --> 00:20:05,209
That Judith McBain, she's insatiable.
337
00:20:05,284 --> 00:20:08,549
Word is they've done it
in every one of his hotels.
338
00:20:09,388 --> 00:20:10,719
Excuse me.
339
00:20:12,291 --> 00:20:13,690
Good chatting with you.
340
00:20:13,759 --> 00:20:16,592
Samantha could handle the press,
but not the truth.
341
00:20:16,662 --> 00:20:19,358
Richard is fucking
the entire styles section...
342
00:20:19,431 --> 00:20:22,923
and for the first time in my life,
I actually give a shit.
343
00:20:23,002 --> 00:20:26,028
I think I have monogamy.
I must've caught it from you people.
344
00:20:26,105 --> 00:20:28,471
- It's airborne.
- There are a lot of hot guys...
345
00:20:28,541 --> 00:20:32,102
but I don't want to fuck
a single one of them. Not him...
346
00:20:32,177 --> 00:20:33,235
or him.
347
00:20:33,312 --> 00:20:36,145
What about this guy over here?
He asked me if I knew you.
348
00:20:36,215 --> 00:20:37,273
Who?
349
00:20:39,418 --> 00:20:42,785
No, I'm not interested. Damn it, I'm not well.
350
00:20:42,855 --> 00:20:44,789
At least you're not getting divorced.
351
00:20:44,857 --> 00:20:47,883
- Just tell Richard how you feel.
- I can't do that.
352
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:51,862
He likes me because
I'm supposed to be immune to this bullshit.
353
00:20:52,064 --> 00:20:55,227
There goes that Judith Bitchy-McBitch
heading for Richard.
354
00:20:55,301 --> 00:20:57,531
Okay, I'm going to go over there...
355
00:20:57,603 --> 00:21:01,596
and I'm going to be completely calm,
and completely professional.
356
00:21:02,107 --> 00:21:05,270
Every day, millions of people
suffer from monogamy.
357
00:21:05,344 --> 00:21:07,244
There is no known cure.
358
00:21:07,713 --> 00:21:09,180
I'm so sorry.
359
00:21:12,217 --> 00:21:15,948
- Hey, gorgeous. Great turnout.
- This is purely professional.
360
00:21:16,755 --> 00:21:19,315
Exactly how many women are you fucking?
361
00:21:19,391 --> 00:21:23,088
It's the "Black and White" Ball,
not the "black and blue" ball.
362
00:21:23,796 --> 00:21:27,391
As your publicist, I must tell you
all this canoodling and bed-hopping...
363
00:21:27,466 --> 00:21:28,899
is tacky and immature.
364
00:21:28,968 --> 00:21:32,768
- It makes investors nervous, and frankly...
- It makes you nervous, too.
365
00:21:32,838 --> 00:21:35,170
As your publicist, yes, it does.
366
00:21:35,641 --> 00:21:39,543
So, grow up. Stop fucking other women.
Just fuck me.
367
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:44,049
Come on, we're not the monotonous...
368
00:21:44,917 --> 00:21:47,818
- I mean, monogamous type.
- Maybe I am.
369
00:21:49,388 --> 00:21:51,288
Gorgeous, I'm not.
370
00:21:53,492 --> 00:21:54,584
Fine.
371
00:21:56,061 --> 00:21:57,995
Jonesy, you get any good dish for me?
372
00:21:58,063 --> 00:21:59,690
In fact, she did.
373
00:22:00,065 --> 00:22:02,556
Samantha gave J.J. An exclusive...
374
00:22:03,035 --> 00:22:05,868
just to prove to herself that she was not.
375
00:22:06,839 --> 00:22:09,000
- What the...
- Shit.
376
00:22:09,408 --> 00:22:11,569
Shit! Just a minute.
377
00:22:11,644 --> 00:22:14,374
It wasn't the first time
a guy went soft on Samantha...
378
00:22:14,446 --> 00:22:17,279
but it was the first time she didn't care.
379
00:22:17,549 --> 00:22:21,144
Jonesy, I can't believe this is happening.
This never happens to me.
380
00:22:21,220 --> 00:22:24,087
I can give a list of women
who this has never happened with.
381
00:22:24,156 --> 00:22:25,418
That isn't necessary.
382
00:22:25,491 --> 00:22:29,450
No, I want to,
I want you to call Anna Bonnie at 957-7297...
383
00:22:29,528 --> 00:22:32,088
or Lisa Yellin at 459...
384
00:22:32,731 --> 00:22:33,891
There you are.
385
00:22:33,966 --> 00:22:36,935
Listen, maybe I was too quick back there.
386
00:22:37,636 --> 00:22:40,298
If there's anyone
who could keep monotony interesting...
387
00:22:40,372 --> 00:22:41,964
Man of the hour.
388
00:22:47,112 --> 00:22:48,875
You'll never change.
389
00:22:49,682 --> 00:22:52,810
And I wouldn't want you to.
Let's just keep things as they were.
390
00:22:52,885 --> 00:22:55,945
This doesn't count.
He couldn't even stay hard.
391
00:22:56,355 --> 00:22:58,152
Good seeing you, J.J.
392
00:23:01,527 --> 00:23:03,495
Don't say it, limp dick.
393
00:23:03,662 --> 00:23:04,754
Okay.
394
00:23:09,435 --> 00:23:11,767
That's a very good look for you.
395
00:23:12,371 --> 00:23:15,169
I think we both look kinda sharp tonight.
396
00:23:16,041 --> 00:23:18,236
You've never looked prettier, my friend.
397
00:23:18,310 --> 00:23:19,641
Thank you.
398
00:23:20,479 --> 00:23:22,504
Let's get married tonight.
399
00:23:23,582 --> 00:23:26,881
Come on,
you've got this beautiful white dress on...
400
00:23:26,985 --> 00:23:29,681
I've got this tux for another 13 hours.
401
00:23:31,423 --> 00:23:33,050
Let's just do it.
402
00:23:33,292 --> 00:23:35,089
Let's get in a cab...
403
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:36,923
airport, Vegas.
404
00:23:38,997 --> 00:23:40,624
No muss, no fuss.
405
00:23:41,300 --> 00:23:44,736
- Aidan, this isn't funny.
- Come on!
406
00:23:46,205 --> 00:23:49,003
Look, if we get married tonight...
407
00:23:50,242 --> 00:23:52,540
we wake up tomorrow, it's done.
408
00:23:53,579 --> 00:23:57,709
All right? We're still us.
We don't even have to tell anybody.
409
00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:03,145
What about what we discussed?
410
00:24:03,222 --> 00:24:05,315
Come on. You're just scared.
411
00:24:05,390 --> 00:24:06,982
Yes, I'm scared.
412
00:24:08,460 --> 00:24:10,690
Come on, Aidan, we talked about this.
413
00:24:10,763 --> 00:24:12,993
No, you talked and I listened.
414
00:24:13,565 --> 00:24:17,023
Carrie, I looked at you tonight
from across the room...
415
00:24:17,703 --> 00:24:19,728
and I thought, I love her.
416
00:24:20,005 --> 00:24:21,632
And she loves me.
417
00:24:21,874 --> 00:24:23,569
And what are we waiting for?
418
00:24:23,642 --> 00:24:25,872
Because I need more time.
419
00:24:26,211 --> 00:24:28,008
What's going to change?
420
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:31,243
This is me.
I don't have any tricks up my sleeve.
421
00:24:31,316 --> 00:24:34,046
- This is who I am.
- This isn't about you.
422
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,013
I'm not ready for marriage.
423
00:24:37,322 --> 00:24:38,414
I am.
424
00:24:39,224 --> 00:24:41,522
I'm sorry if that scares you, but I am.
425
00:24:41,593 --> 00:24:44,790
People fall in love, they get married.
426
00:24:44,863 --> 00:24:47,764
- That's what they do.
- Not necessarily.
427
00:24:52,604 --> 00:24:54,128
Why can't we...
428
00:24:54,573 --> 00:24:56,803
just keep things the way they are...
429
00:24:56,875 --> 00:25:00,174
- just live together?
- I don't want to live together.
430
00:25:00,612 --> 00:25:03,137
I've had girlfriends for 20 years.
431
00:25:03,315 --> 00:25:05,306
I want you to be my wife.
432
00:25:05,717 --> 00:25:08,914
- Aidan, you're pushing me.
- Maybe you need to be pushed.
433
00:25:08,987 --> 00:25:11,683
What's the big deal?
It's just a stupid piece of paper.
434
00:25:11,757 --> 00:25:15,784
If it's just a stupid piece of paper,
then why do we need it?
435
00:25:15,861 --> 00:25:17,522
Because I need it!
436
00:25:18,297 --> 00:25:21,733
I want to make this official
and lock this thing down.
437
00:25:22,267 --> 00:25:26,033
I want the whole wide world to know
that you're mine.
438
00:25:26,104 --> 00:25:27,969
Who else's would I be?
439
00:25:31,610 --> 00:25:32,804
My God.
440
00:25:36,181 --> 00:25:37,876
You still don't trust me.
441
00:25:37,950 --> 00:25:40,282
You don't even wear that ring
on your fucking finger.
442
00:25:40,352 --> 00:25:43,048
I am yours. There is nobody else.
443
00:25:44,423 --> 00:25:48,052
I love you.
But I can't marry you to make you trust me.
444
00:25:53,365 --> 00:25:54,730
Look at me.
445
00:25:56,768 --> 00:25:59,566
Look at me before we make a huge mistake.
446
00:26:01,006 --> 00:26:03,839
If you don't want to marry me right now...
447
00:26:04,509 --> 00:26:06,739
you'll never want to marry me.
448
00:26:07,279 --> 00:26:10,146
- That's not true.
- I think it is.
449
00:26:21,727 --> 00:26:24,093
I'm gonna sleep
in the other apartment tonight.
450
00:26:24,162 --> 00:26:25,356
Really?
451
00:26:26,665 --> 00:26:28,132
Yeah, really.
452
00:26:28,901 --> 00:26:30,528
Just for tonight?
453
00:26:32,304 --> 00:26:34,829
I can't believe I'm back here again.
454
00:26:37,009 --> 00:26:38,101
Shit.
455
00:26:48,053 --> 00:26:52,319
We had left the land of black and white,
and now, everything was gray.
456
00:26:53,292 --> 00:26:57,353
To the outside world,
Miranda's maternal gene might never kick in.
457
00:27:02,267 --> 00:27:06,294
But that night
she felt a real kick from deep inside.
458
00:27:44,242 --> 00:27:46,608
There are some walls
you can push through...
459
00:27:46,678 --> 00:27:48,407
and some you can't.
460
00:27:54,353 --> 00:27:56,651
That was the only night
we would ever spend...
461
00:27:56,722 --> 00:27:58,952
on the other side of the wall.
462
00:28:02,894 --> 00:28:05,624
The next day, Aidan moved out.
463
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:16,000
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