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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 0 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:08,000 Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked) by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew 1 00:00:49,329 --> 00:00:52,230 I ran into my friend Skipper on the street the other day. 2 00:00:52,299 --> 00:00:55,791 He was bruised and frantic. He'd just broken up with another girl. 3 00:00:55,869 --> 00:00:57,837 I thought everything was going fine. 4 00:00:57,904 --> 00:01:00,065 That's when they tiptoe up and clobber you. 5 00:01:00,140 --> 00:01:02,472 What did she say she thought was wrong? 6 00:01:03,110 --> 00:01:07,877 Skipper, you're a very sweet guy. This isn't about anything you did. 7 00:01:07,948 --> 00:01:11,111 It's just that we're in very different places right now. 8 00:01:11,218 --> 00:01:13,311 We want different things from life. 9 00:01:13,754 --> 00:01:15,847 I need to spend more time alone. 10 00:01:15,922 --> 00:01:18,186 So, actually, we want the same thing. 11 00:01:18,258 --> 00:01:20,351 We both want to spend more time with you. 12 00:01:20,627 --> 00:01:23,755 Three months before that, it was a dental hygienist named Tiffany. 13 00:01:23,830 --> 00:01:26,390 The timing is wrong, that's all. 14 00:01:26,466 --> 00:01:28,730 You're one of the nicest guys I've ever known. 15 00:01:29,302 --> 00:01:34,296 I feel like I've reached a time in my life when I need to focus on my career. 16 00:01:34,608 --> 00:01:36,633 I don't want to feel guilty about that. 17 00:01:36,710 --> 00:01:38,769 I don't want you to give up your career. 18 00:01:38,845 --> 00:01:39,971 I know. 19 00:01:40,046 --> 00:01:41,274 You've been great. 20 00:01:41,415 --> 00:01:44,816 You really deserve someone who will appreciate you. 21 00:01:45,118 --> 00:01:48,019 I don't feel like I have anything to give at the moment. 22 00:01:48,522 --> 00:01:51,582 And last year, it was Miranda. 23 00:01:51,658 --> 00:01:54,525 I feel like I need to spend more time alone. 24 00:01:55,595 --> 00:01:59,588 I've just reached a point in my life where I need to focus on my career. 25 00:02:00,333 --> 00:02:03,200 I don't think that I have anything to give at the moment. 26 00:02:03,937 --> 00:02:05,837 Skipper, what else can I say? 27 00:02:06,106 --> 00:02:08,370 I have such horrible luck with women. 28 00:02:08,508 --> 00:02:11,102 I should've seen this coming, but I didn't... 29 00:02:11,244 --> 00:02:15,112 ...because they wait for you to get relaxed and get comfortable... 30 00:02:15,182 --> 00:02:18,117 ...before they bring the ice pick down between your eyes. 31 00:02:18,185 --> 00:02:19,277 Not all women... 32 00:02:19,352 --> 00:02:22,082 ...just the types of women you seem to be attracted to. 33 00:02:22,189 --> 00:02:24,783 Over and over and over again. 34 00:02:24,858 --> 00:02:29,124 Those ladies don't know what they're missing and missing and missing. 35 00:02:29,196 --> 00:02:31,357 Skipper's pattern was clear to both of us. 36 00:02:31,431 --> 00:02:34,457 He was a sweet guy who was perpetually attracted to women... 37 00:02:34,534 --> 00:02:36,126 ...who were looking for jerks. 38 00:02:36,203 --> 00:02:38,467 Later that night, on a date across town... 39 00:02:38,538 --> 00:02:40,802 ...Miranda was repeating a pattern of her own. 40 00:02:40,874 --> 00:02:44,332 She had been dating a lawyer she met when they fought in court. 41 00:02:44,411 --> 00:02:48,575 A frequent guest on MSBNC, Kevin was not just argumentative... 42 00:02:48,682 --> 00:02:50,616 ...he was an anger professional. 43 00:02:50,684 --> 00:02:52,777 I think I gotta revise my opinion... 44 00:02:52,853 --> 00:02:55,981 ...that only an idiot would want to go out to a movie these days. 45 00:02:56,056 --> 00:02:59,924 It was worth the $19, plus $10 in snacks and water... 46 00:03:00,026 --> 00:03:03,484 ...just to hear that bus driver behind us explain filmmaking to his wife. 47 00:03:03,563 --> 00:03:05,463 He had some wonderful insights. 48 00:03:05,532 --> 00:03:08,558 On the bright side, it was an interesting movie, right? 49 00:03:08,635 --> 00:03:10,364 It was a real Citizen Kane. 50 00:03:10,437 --> 00:03:12,769 The actor who played Carlo was charming. 51 00:03:12,839 --> 00:03:16,172 He looked like he walked into work before the anesthesia wore off... 52 00:03:16,243 --> 00:03:17,471 ...from his lobotomy. 53 00:03:17,544 --> 00:03:20,104 All right, I'll just get us a cab, okay? 54 00:03:20,180 --> 00:03:21,169 Taxi! 55 00:03:21,281 --> 00:03:23,613 You gotta face uptown to get a cab around here. 56 00:03:23,817 --> 00:03:26,047 I've caught plenty of cabs this way. 57 00:03:26,119 --> 00:03:30,317 In never-never land where people confuse a lack of talent with charm. 58 00:03:32,192 --> 00:03:34,626 Come on, Gene Shalit, get in the damn cab. 59 00:03:35,462 --> 00:03:36,520 Come on. 60 00:03:38,198 --> 00:03:39,722 Get in, sore loser. 61 00:03:39,799 --> 00:03:41,596 Come on, in. 62 00:03:42,135 --> 00:03:44,035 In, come on. 63 00:03:44,771 --> 00:03:48,138 Miranda hated how he ordered her around and told her what do... 64 00:03:48,208 --> 00:03:50,199 ...every place except one. 65 00:03:51,378 --> 00:03:53,846 Put your hands up over your head. 66 00:03:57,684 --> 00:03:59,652 Spread your legs. 67 00:04:10,030 --> 00:04:15,593 The weird thing is when he tells me what to do in life it drives me crazy. 68 00:04:15,669 --> 00:04:19,332 But when he does it during sex it really drives me crazy. 69 00:04:19,406 --> 00:04:20,805 It's totally hot! 70 00:04:21,241 --> 00:04:22,765 That looks like a good spot. 71 00:04:22,842 --> 00:04:24,707 Everybody, check for park poo. 72 00:04:24,778 --> 00:04:26,302 Isn't that funny? 73 00:04:26,479 --> 00:04:29,539 That what I hate in life, I love in sex? 74 00:04:29,649 --> 00:04:33,346 So, how about if you limit your contact with him to just sex? 75 00:04:33,486 --> 00:04:35,920 That's a nice, healthy relationship. 76 00:04:36,056 --> 00:04:38,524 I'm not ready yet to throw in the towel. 77 00:04:38,592 --> 00:04:40,822 You're just ready to wrap it around his neck. 78 00:04:41,561 --> 00:04:45,258 He's going through a very stressful time waiting to make partner at his firm. 79 00:04:45,332 --> 00:04:48,096 When that finally works out, I think he'll lighten up. 80 00:04:48,168 --> 00:04:51,467 Or maybe you should face the fact that you're attracted to angry men. 81 00:04:51,538 --> 00:04:54,132 - Deviled eggs? - Wait a second, hold the eggs! 82 00:04:54,207 --> 00:04:56,300 What about Skipper? He never got angry. 83 00:04:56,376 --> 00:04:59,470 - And you dumped him. Fits a pattern. - I don't have a pattern. 84 00:04:59,546 --> 00:05:01,639 In math, randomness is considered a pattern. 85 00:05:01,715 --> 00:05:04,775 And I'm what they call a prime number. 86 00:05:05,151 --> 00:05:07,142 She's got a very obvious pattern. 87 00:05:07,220 --> 00:05:09,780 I do? What? Tell me! 88 00:05:09,856 --> 00:05:12,791 You wait for a perfect guy to ask you on a perfect date... 89 00:05:12,892 --> 00:05:16,384 And when he does, you project this huge fantasy on him... 90 00:05:16,529 --> 00:05:18,759 ...setting up these enormous expectations... 91 00:05:18,832 --> 00:05:21,062 Which promptly blow up in your pretty face. 92 00:05:21,134 --> 00:05:23,762 You put all your deviled eggs in one basket. 93 00:05:23,837 --> 00:05:25,304 That's a horrible pattern. 94 00:05:25,472 --> 00:05:27,667 Well, spread it around a little more. 95 00:05:27,741 --> 00:05:31,177 Date a few guys at once and then you won't feel so disappointed. 96 00:05:31,244 --> 00:05:34,805 - Are you asking Charlotte to juggle? - It's all about multi-tasking. 97 00:05:35,081 --> 00:05:38,380 None of us can afford to fall into this "one man at a time" pattern. 98 00:05:38,485 --> 00:05:41,010 Look at how much time you wasted with Big. 99 00:05:41,221 --> 00:05:42,654 But Big was an aberration. 100 00:05:42,722 --> 00:05:46,453 Next time I meet a handsome, rich, emotionally unavailable 43-year-old man... 101 00:05:46,526 --> 00:05:48,016 ...l'll know what to expect. 102 00:05:48,094 --> 00:05:49,152 Will you? 103 00:05:49,229 --> 00:05:51,720 Or will you make the same mistake all over again? 104 00:05:51,831 --> 00:05:52,820 I wondered... 105 00:05:52,899 --> 00:05:55,993 ...were we all just victims of conditioned responses? 106 00:05:56,069 --> 00:05:59,505 Doomed to repeat the same unconscious relationship patterns? 107 00:05:59,739 --> 00:06:02,207 Were we all, in fact, just dating... 108 00:06:02,409 --> 00:06:05,105 ...the same person over and over again? 109 00:06:05,211 --> 00:06:08,271 I guess I have dated quite a few artists. 110 00:06:08,348 --> 00:06:10,714 But I don't think they were all the same person. 111 00:06:10,784 --> 00:06:15,050 Okay, yes. They were all narcissists with commitment phobias... 112 00:06:15,121 --> 00:06:16,713 ...and substance abuse issues. 113 00:06:16,790 --> 00:06:20,920 But, in my opinion, the painters were very different from the sculptors. 114 00:06:21,728 --> 00:06:24,356 Handsome waspy assholes who treat me like shit. 115 00:06:24,464 --> 00:06:26,728 I only date girls with Sony Playstations... 116 00:06:27,033 --> 00:06:28,500 ...or breasts. 117 00:06:30,603 --> 00:06:34,232 That night, Samantha became acquainted with the new neighbors next door. 118 00:06:36,076 --> 00:06:38,067 Though she had never met them... 119 00:06:38,178 --> 00:06:40,078 ...she already knew them intimately. 120 00:06:42,582 --> 00:06:45,813 The idea that someone else was having great sex and flaunting it... 121 00:06:45,885 --> 00:06:47,580 ...was more than she could bear. 122 00:06:47,787 --> 00:06:50,779 So she decided, if you can't join 'em... 123 00:06:51,858 --> 00:06:52,984 ...beat it. 124 00:06:55,795 --> 00:06:58,355 It all fit Samantha's pattern to a T... 125 00:06:59,332 --> 00:07:03,063 ...having a wall between her and the person she was having sex with. 126 00:07:04,304 --> 00:07:06,602 After a few weeks of not seeing Big... 127 00:07:06,673 --> 00:07:10,074 ...I was beginning to fall into some familiar patterns of my own. 128 00:07:10,310 --> 00:07:12,904 Staying out till 3... 00 and sleeping till noon. 129 00:07:13,012 --> 00:07:15,503 Ordering takeout from the same greasy Chinese... 130 00:07:15,582 --> 00:07:19,678 ...and calling old friends who would always be there for me when I felt... 131 00:07:20,220 --> 00:07:21,517 ...restless. 132 00:07:23,556 --> 00:07:24,853 McFadden. 133 00:07:24,958 --> 00:07:26,425 Hey John, it's Carrie. 134 00:07:26,726 --> 00:07:29,786 Carrie, hey, how are you? Long time. 135 00:07:29,863 --> 00:07:33,594 I know. Listen, I thought if you weren't doing anything... 136 00:07:33,666 --> 00:07:36,157 ...you might want to meet for a drink after work. 137 00:07:36,236 --> 00:07:37,703 Sure, that would be great. 138 00:07:37,804 --> 00:07:39,795 How about sixish? 139 00:07:39,873 --> 00:07:41,397 I could be there at 6:30. 140 00:07:41,474 --> 00:07:43,339 Perfect, I'll see you then. 141 00:07:47,747 --> 00:07:50,511 That evening, at 6... 30 sharp... 142 00:07:53,119 --> 00:07:56,020 - Wow, it's great to see you. - You, too. 143 00:07:56,823 --> 00:07:59,485 Come on in. I was just gonna open a bottle of red. 144 00:07:59,592 --> 00:08:01,219 Red, yeah, beautiful. 145 00:08:01,294 --> 00:08:05,230 I just gotta be somewhere by 8:30. 146 00:08:05,899 --> 00:08:08,800 - That's okay, I've got dinner plans at 8:00. - Okay. 147 00:08:20,380 --> 00:08:24,111 John was as dependable a pal as a gal could ever hope for. 148 00:08:25,151 --> 00:08:27,813 Fun, comfortable and easy to be with. 149 00:08:27,921 --> 00:08:32,051 The kind of guy who you could shed all inhibitions and really be yourself around. 150 00:08:32,358 --> 00:08:35,054 No muss, no fuss. 151 00:08:39,666 --> 00:08:41,657 So how's the... 152 00:08:42,202 --> 00:08:43,226 ...going? 153 00:08:43,436 --> 00:08:44,494 Great. 154 00:08:44,804 --> 00:08:46,135 It's great. 155 00:08:46,272 --> 00:08:48,240 - How's work with you? - Never dull. 156 00:08:51,077 --> 00:08:53,875 How's your younger sister doing? 157 00:08:53,947 --> 00:08:55,312 Brother. 158 00:08:56,482 --> 00:09:00,043 The one that moved to Phoenix? 159 00:09:00,353 --> 00:09:02,253 - Tallahassee. - Right. 160 00:09:03,556 --> 00:09:05,547 So how's he doing down there? 161 00:09:05,692 --> 00:09:08,024 - He's doing great, thanks for asking. - Sure. 162 00:09:12,765 --> 00:09:14,426 And then I realized it. 163 00:09:14,801 --> 00:09:19,261 I didn't have a relationship pattern, I had a between-relationship pattern. 164 00:09:19,505 --> 00:09:22,269 I always went back to John after every devastating... 165 00:09:22,375 --> 00:09:24,605 ...soul-shattering, gut-wrenching break up. 166 00:09:24,711 --> 00:09:27,271 He was sweet, handsome, uncomplicated. 167 00:09:27,413 --> 00:09:29,904 A real shot in the arm for my sexual self esteem. 168 00:09:30,016 --> 00:09:32,211 Thanks for the call, gorgeous. 169 00:09:35,054 --> 00:09:37,147 Sure put a cherry on my sundae. 170 00:09:37,857 --> 00:09:40,792 Why had I been keeping him on the bench all these years? 171 00:09:40,894 --> 00:09:44,853 Did I really believe a relationship had to be difficult in order to work? 172 00:09:46,399 --> 00:09:49,766 Do you want to have dinner Friday night? 173 00:09:50,169 --> 00:09:51,193 Dinner? 174 00:09:52,472 --> 00:09:55,737 I should check my schedule, but I think I can make it. 175 00:09:55,808 --> 00:09:56,797 Great. 176 00:09:56,876 --> 00:09:58,275 You want to say... 177 00:09:58,611 --> 00:09:59,703 ...8:00? 178 00:10:00,113 --> 00:10:01,307 How about 8:15? 179 00:10:01,381 --> 00:10:04,373 And just like that, I broke my pattern. 180 00:10:05,451 --> 00:10:08,477 Carrie, you can't date your fuck buddy. 181 00:10:08,554 --> 00:10:11,785 Say it a little louder. The lady in the last row didn't hear you. 182 00:10:11,858 --> 00:10:15,453 You wanna take the only person in your life that's there purely for sex... 183 00:10:15,528 --> 00:10:17,189 ...and make him a human being? 184 00:10:17,263 --> 00:10:18,252 Why? 185 00:10:18,731 --> 00:10:21,097 Excuse me, "fuck buddy"? 186 00:10:21,601 --> 00:10:23,501 What is a "fuck buddy"? 187 00:10:23,703 --> 00:10:25,762 Come on. 188 00:10:26,572 --> 00:10:30,736 A fuck buddy is a guy you dated once or twice and it didn't go anywhere... 189 00:10:30,810 --> 00:10:33,973 ...but the sex is so great, you sort of keep him on call. 190 00:10:34,047 --> 00:10:35,446 He's like "dial-a-dick." 191 00:10:35,715 --> 00:10:40,675 You mean you just call this guy up when you're, you know, horny? 192 00:10:40,753 --> 00:10:42,015 Yes. 193 00:10:42,088 --> 00:10:43,646 And he just comes right over? 194 00:10:43,723 --> 00:10:46,453 Well, he's not a slave, sweetheart. He does have a life. 195 00:10:46,526 --> 00:10:48,391 But you don't have to know about it. 196 00:10:48,461 --> 00:10:51,828 And you're guaranteed delivery within Manhattan in six hours or less. 197 00:10:52,165 --> 00:10:53,757 And you guys all have one? 198 00:10:53,866 --> 00:10:57,529 Mine moved to Chicago but now we have phone sex. 199 00:10:57,603 --> 00:10:59,070 What's he doing in Chicago? 200 00:10:59,238 --> 00:11:01,468 I have absolutely no idea. 201 00:11:01,941 --> 00:11:04,705 A few moments later, emboldened by our conversation... 202 00:11:04,777 --> 00:11:07,109 ...and high from too many tantric headstands... 203 00:11:07,180 --> 00:11:10,149 ...Charlotte asked a man out for the first time. 204 00:11:10,283 --> 00:11:12,148 Man, that class was tough. 205 00:11:12,218 --> 00:11:14,618 I never sweated so much in my entire life. 206 00:11:15,888 --> 00:11:18,516 Would you like to go out to dinner Friday night? 207 00:11:19,092 --> 00:11:20,081 Sure. 208 00:11:24,464 --> 00:11:25,453 I wondered... 209 00:11:25,531 --> 00:11:29,194 ...if Charlotte can break her pattern and ask out every man in Manhattan... 210 00:11:29,268 --> 00:11:31,600 ...why couldn't I have a deeper relationship... 211 00:11:31,671 --> 00:11:33,639 ...with a man I have shallow sex with? 212 00:11:39,045 --> 00:11:40,569 Wow. 213 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,441 You're all dressy. 214 00:11:43,850 --> 00:11:45,477 I guess. 215 00:11:46,119 --> 00:11:47,108 Thanks. 216 00:11:47,186 --> 00:11:50,815 I wanted to tell him that he'd never actually seen me in clothes. 217 00:11:50,890 --> 00:11:53,188 Do you want a glass of wine first, or... 218 00:11:53,259 --> 00:11:56,319 No, I'm fine, thanks. 219 00:11:59,032 --> 00:12:00,556 Hey, wait, wait, wait. 220 00:12:02,168 --> 00:12:04,830 - I made reservations. - Huh? 221 00:12:05,004 --> 00:12:06,335 At a sushi restaurant. 222 00:12:08,107 --> 00:12:10,268 Cool. I see. 223 00:12:10,977 --> 00:12:13,468 No! I mean, God! 224 00:12:13,713 --> 00:12:16,113 I mean sushi... 225 00:12:16,416 --> 00:12:18,543 ...Japanese food! 226 00:12:18,684 --> 00:12:21,118 When you said dinner, you meant dinner. 227 00:12:21,187 --> 00:12:22,211 Yeah. 228 00:12:22,321 --> 00:12:25,552 It's just that, whenever we've had dinner, we've always, you know. 229 00:12:25,625 --> 00:12:27,217 Yeah, I know. 230 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:31,054 I'm just gonna get my purse. 231 00:12:31,330 --> 00:12:35,460 Like most first dates, we were off to an awkward start. 232 00:12:44,811 --> 00:12:49,680 The yellow tail sashimi, two pieces of salmon sushi... 233 00:12:49,782 --> 00:12:52,046 ...and a spicy tuna hand roll. 234 00:12:52,418 --> 00:12:53,544 Do you like eel? 235 00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:55,217 No way. 236 00:12:55,288 --> 00:12:58,348 I'll have the chicken teriyaki, well done. 237 00:12:58,458 --> 00:13:01,052 No, the sushi's so amazing here. 238 00:13:01,794 --> 00:13:03,523 I can't deal with the raw stuff. 239 00:13:03,596 --> 00:13:06,121 Why didn't you say? We could've gone someplace else. 240 00:13:06,199 --> 00:13:09,191 Don't worry about it. If I'm hungry, I'll grab a burger after. 241 00:13:09,368 --> 00:13:10,494 Okay. 242 00:13:11,537 --> 00:13:13,971 Hey, listen, before I forget... 243 00:13:14,907 --> 00:13:16,738 ...this is for you. 244 00:13:17,110 --> 00:13:19,704 Thanks. What is it? 245 00:13:19,779 --> 00:13:23,977 Forty minutes free long distance, continental U.S., no strings attached. 246 00:13:24,150 --> 00:13:26,675 It's to promote our new 7-7-3 service: 247 00:13:26,786 --> 00:13:30,313 Seven days, seven hours, $3 a day. 248 00:13:30,890 --> 00:13:31,982 Thank you. 249 00:13:32,058 --> 00:13:33,116 So you... 250 00:13:33,226 --> 00:13:36,218 Think these gimmicks up? Sort of. Officially, I sell time. 251 00:13:36,295 --> 00:13:39,526 I get incentive minutes which I can distribute at my own discretion. 252 00:13:40,633 --> 00:13:43,363 So, if I'm lucky, I might get a whole hour next time? 253 00:13:43,436 --> 00:13:44,494 I don't think so. 254 00:13:44,570 --> 00:13:46,834 But if you're currently with MCI and switch... 255 00:13:46,906 --> 00:13:48,567 ...then you get two free hours. 256 00:13:49,008 --> 00:13:50,373 I was kidding. 257 00:13:50,476 --> 00:13:52,341 Right, gotcha. 258 00:13:56,916 --> 00:13:59,248 Maybe we should just order some sake? 259 00:13:59,485 --> 00:14:00,474 Yeah, sure. 260 00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:02,511 Hey, sake to me! 261 00:14:05,758 --> 00:14:07,919 We went back to my place for a quickie. 262 00:14:09,162 --> 00:14:12,598 I needed to erase the stagnant memory of the past two hours. 263 00:14:12,665 --> 00:14:15,793 Was it really possible that someone so stimulating in bed... 264 00:14:15,868 --> 00:14:18,530 ...could be so tedious in life? 265 00:14:28,915 --> 00:14:31,907 Meanwhile, Samantha was actually beginning to look forward... 266 00:14:31,984 --> 00:14:34,009 ...to the company of her new neighbors. 267 00:14:34,487 --> 00:14:38,253 Every night, like clockwork, right after the end of the 11... 00 news... 268 00:14:46,432 --> 00:14:49,595 ...Samantha relished her role as the invisible guest vocalist... 269 00:14:49,669 --> 00:14:51,660 ...to an unseen band. 270 00:14:56,809 --> 00:15:00,040 Until one night, she wasn't so invisible. 271 00:15:17,763 --> 00:15:21,597 That Saturday, Miranda planned for us all to meet her latest fling for brunch. 272 00:15:21,801 --> 00:15:24,201 Apparently, he had flung himself elsewhere. 273 00:15:24,270 --> 00:15:25,828 He should be here any minute. 274 00:15:25,905 --> 00:15:28,169 Don't worry about it. If it's just us, fine. 275 00:15:28,241 --> 00:15:30,573 It's not like we've got anywhere else to go. 276 00:15:30,643 --> 00:15:31,940 I have a date tonight. 277 00:15:32,044 --> 00:15:34,035 - With whom? - That yoga guy. 278 00:15:34,113 --> 00:15:35,205 I asked him out. 279 00:15:35,448 --> 00:15:37,507 Wow, I'm impressed. 280 00:15:37,950 --> 00:15:41,113 Once I broke the ice with him, it was just like riding a bike. 281 00:15:41,187 --> 00:15:44,350 I have so many dates this week, that I just scheduled two tonight. 282 00:15:44,423 --> 00:15:46,653 - You double-booked? - I had to. 283 00:15:46,726 --> 00:15:50,162 One guy is leaving town and I couldn't cancel the other. 284 00:15:50,229 --> 00:15:52,356 How do you conceive pulling this one off? 285 00:15:52,431 --> 00:15:55,457 Early dinner with bachelor one, late supper with bachelor two. 286 00:15:55,534 --> 00:15:58,264 My God, you're turning into a man. 287 00:15:58,337 --> 00:16:01,033 Charlotte had done more than break a pattern. 288 00:16:01,107 --> 00:16:02,972 She had actually changed genders. 289 00:16:03,643 --> 00:16:06,635 I just don't know how I'm ever gonna eat two dinners in a row. 290 00:16:06,712 --> 00:16:09,704 And then, just like that, she was a woman again. 291 00:16:09,782 --> 00:16:10,771 Sorry, babe. 292 00:16:10,850 --> 00:16:14,843 The idiot who drove me here apparently passed his driving test in Bangladesh. 293 00:16:15,087 --> 00:16:17,817 I'm just happy to get off that fuckin' rickshaw alive. 294 00:16:17,890 --> 00:16:21,485 Kevin, this is Carrie, and Samantha, and Charlotte. 295 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,323 - This is Kevin. - Nice to meet you. 296 00:16:23,396 --> 00:16:27,025 I have to go make a call, I'll be back. Waitress! A draft beer here. 297 00:16:28,901 --> 00:16:30,061 He's cute. 298 00:16:30,136 --> 00:16:32,434 In a tightly wound sort of way. 299 00:16:32,505 --> 00:16:35,269 He's finding out on Tuesday whether he made partner. 300 00:16:35,341 --> 00:16:38,606 I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he'll unwind some after that. 301 00:16:43,416 --> 00:16:44,576 What are you doing? 302 00:16:44,684 --> 00:16:47,380 I just don't want him going off on the waitress. 303 00:16:48,888 --> 00:16:51,584 That evening, Charlotte set out to break her pattern. 304 00:16:51,691 --> 00:16:54,023 A casual meal with Eric from yoga... 305 00:16:54,093 --> 00:16:57,256 ...discovering a mutual love for long drives up Maine coasts... 306 00:16:57,330 --> 00:16:59,457 ...and reruns of Nanny and the Professor. 307 00:16:59,532 --> 00:17:00,965 She was psychic, wasn't she? 308 00:17:01,033 --> 00:17:02,022 Absolutely. 309 00:17:02,101 --> 00:17:04,331 But it was very subtle, very sophisticated. 310 00:17:04,503 --> 00:17:07,097 I don't think that kids today would understand it. 311 00:17:08,474 --> 00:17:12,001 When I have kids, I'm gonna be a total nazi with the remote. 312 00:17:12,078 --> 00:17:13,272 I want them to read. 313 00:17:13,346 --> 00:17:15,143 How many kids do you want to have? 314 00:17:15,348 --> 00:17:16,906 Two: One of each. 315 00:17:17,283 --> 00:17:18,773 Sounds perfect. 316 00:17:19,085 --> 00:17:23,351 As Charlotte began to swim in visions of family summers in Kennebunkport... 317 00:17:23,522 --> 00:17:25,990 ...she realized she was late for the second shift. 318 00:17:26,058 --> 00:17:27,150 Oh my God. 319 00:17:27,927 --> 00:17:28,951 What's wrong? 320 00:17:31,664 --> 00:17:34,690 My throat is so sore. 321 00:17:35,034 --> 00:17:38,128 I've just been fighting this cold all week. 322 00:17:39,238 --> 00:17:40,899 Let me get the check. 323 00:17:40,973 --> 00:17:42,668 I'm so sorry. 324 00:17:42,842 --> 00:17:45,037 I had a really great time. 325 00:17:46,579 --> 00:17:47,568 Me, too. 326 00:17:49,148 --> 00:17:51,742 While Charlotte was off to her next engagement... 327 00:17:51,817 --> 00:17:55,014 ...Samantha was imagining an engagement of her own. 328 00:18:02,495 --> 00:18:04,895 Excuse me, Jesus! 329 00:18:06,966 --> 00:18:08,900 Hi, I was just wondering... 330 00:18:08,968 --> 00:18:11,528 ...do you know who lives in that apartment? 331 00:18:12,037 --> 00:18:15,905 Yes, very nice. 332 00:18:16,842 --> 00:18:19,709 Musician. His wife, a dancer. 333 00:18:19,979 --> 00:18:23,278 Really? And are they nice looking? 334 00:18:24,183 --> 00:18:26,777 Yes, very nice. 335 00:18:28,053 --> 00:18:29,042 Very good. 336 00:18:29,121 --> 00:18:31,248 Okay, then. Carry on. 337 00:18:35,060 --> 00:18:39,053 Later that night, Charlotte was returning from a second dinner of steamed mussels... 338 00:18:39,131 --> 00:18:43,295 ...and fries with bachelor number two, an art loving commodities broker. 339 00:18:43,402 --> 00:18:45,461 - I had a really great time. - Me, too. 340 00:18:47,807 --> 00:18:49,570 Excuse me. 341 00:18:49,675 --> 00:18:51,666 So, can I call you? 342 00:18:51,977 --> 00:18:53,103 Definitely. 343 00:18:53,212 --> 00:18:54,577 Okay. 344 00:19:01,787 --> 00:19:02,719 Charlotte? 345 00:19:03,989 --> 00:19:06,355 Eric, what are you doing here? 346 00:19:06,459 --> 00:19:08,689 I was just leaving you some chicken soup... 347 00:19:08,761 --> 00:19:10,160 ...for your throat. 348 00:19:10,296 --> 00:19:12,161 But I see you've healed. 349 00:19:12,498 --> 00:19:14,022 Who is this guy? 350 00:19:14,099 --> 00:19:16,590 I'm the guy she had dinner with before you. 351 00:19:17,503 --> 00:19:18,902 You double-booked us? 352 00:19:18,971 --> 00:19:20,199 Hey, don't feel bad. 353 00:19:20,272 --> 00:19:23,105 You got the late shift. You get to take her upstairs. 354 00:19:23,175 --> 00:19:24,233 I don't think so. 355 00:19:24,443 --> 00:19:26,911 You know what? Enjoy the soup. 356 00:19:28,113 --> 00:19:29,410 Hey, you going uptown? 357 00:19:30,216 --> 00:19:32,514 - Yeah, West Side. - Wanna share a cab? 358 00:19:32,952 --> 00:19:34,010 Sure. 359 00:19:35,354 --> 00:19:38,016 From that moment on, Charlotte developed a new pattern. 360 00:19:38,090 --> 00:19:41,753 She made it a rule never to take advice from her friends again. 361 00:19:45,030 --> 00:19:46,622 Very late that night... 362 00:19:46,699 --> 00:19:50,999 ...Samantha decided to roll out the welcome mat for her new neighbors. 363 00:19:57,109 --> 00:20:00,078 The musician and the dancer turned out to be a middle-aged... 364 00:20:00,145 --> 00:20:01,635 ...Eastern European couple. 365 00:20:01,881 --> 00:20:04,748 He played in a polka band. She was a dancer... 366 00:20:04,917 --> 00:20:06,282 ...once upon a time. 367 00:20:06,385 --> 00:20:07,852 Samantha? 368 00:20:10,022 --> 00:20:12,013 Would you mind keeping it down? 369 00:20:12,658 --> 00:20:14,683 I'm trying to get some sleep. 370 00:20:16,829 --> 00:20:19,059 Samantha broke a pattern after all. 371 00:20:21,133 --> 00:20:24,000 She decided to move her bed to the opposite wall. 372 00:20:25,404 --> 00:20:28,396 Later that week, Kevin experienced a dream come true. 373 00:20:28,541 --> 00:20:31,738 He was made a full partner of the law firm where he worked. 374 00:20:31,844 --> 00:20:34,005 He took Miranda out to celebrate. 375 00:20:35,281 --> 00:20:36,305 A toast. 376 00:20:36,715 --> 00:20:39,240 - To a very happy occasion. - Yeah. 377 00:20:39,318 --> 00:20:41,286 I'm falling all over myself with glee. 378 00:20:41,353 --> 00:20:43,947 I get to work 60 hours a week for the same salary. 379 00:20:44,023 --> 00:20:45,183 I'm walking on air. 380 00:20:45,257 --> 00:20:47,418 Can't we enjoy your success for one fucking second? 381 00:20:47,493 --> 00:20:50,053 You don't get how stressful my life is. 382 00:20:50,129 --> 00:20:52,654 You really do live in never-never land, don't you? 383 00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:55,489 By the way... 384 00:20:55,568 --> 00:20:59,436 ...if there's a difference between this $100 champagne and the crap for $29... 385 00:20:59,505 --> 00:21:02,269 ...it takes a more delicate palate than mine to detect it. 386 00:21:02,341 --> 00:21:05,435 Well, I like the champagne, and the bread is fabulous. 387 00:21:05,544 --> 00:21:08,274 Oh my God, look at those flowers. 388 00:21:08,447 --> 00:21:09,539 Don't piss me off. 389 00:21:13,419 --> 00:21:14,750 Where are you going? 390 00:21:14,887 --> 00:21:16,411 Back to never-never land. 391 00:21:16,488 --> 00:21:20,117 And by the way, never-never call me again. 392 00:21:20,192 --> 00:21:21,386 Have a nice day. 393 00:21:21,694 --> 00:21:22,752 What? 394 00:21:22,895 --> 00:21:26,524 Miranda broke her pattern in a way that she had never expected. 395 00:21:26,699 --> 00:21:30,135 The angry guy had turned her into a cock-eyed optimist. 396 00:21:30,336 --> 00:21:32,770 There couldn't have been a more perfect moment... 397 00:21:32,838 --> 00:21:35,671 ...to see Skipper for the first time since she dumped him. 398 00:21:35,741 --> 00:21:37,902 Hey, Skipper! 399 00:21:39,278 --> 00:21:40,643 Slow down a minute. 400 00:21:40,713 --> 00:21:42,806 Don't tell me what to do, okay? 401 00:21:43,215 --> 00:21:45,945 I just wanted to say hello. How've you been? 402 00:21:46,885 --> 00:21:48,011 How've I been? 403 00:21:48,087 --> 00:21:51,056 You got a lot of nerve talking to me like nothing happened... 404 00:21:51,123 --> 00:21:53,614 ...ever since you tossed me out like bad milk. 405 00:21:53,692 --> 00:21:55,523 I've been friggin' wonderful. 406 00:21:55,594 --> 00:21:57,687 Now that I've got you out of my system. 407 00:21:57,763 --> 00:21:59,731 Can't I just talk to you for a minute? 408 00:22:00,232 --> 00:22:02,291 Could I buy you a beer or something? 409 00:22:02,401 --> 00:22:04,869 Miranda had never seen him as angry as this before. 410 00:22:04,937 --> 00:22:07,201 Much to her horror, she was attracted. 411 00:22:07,339 --> 00:22:09,034 That's the thing about patterns. 412 00:22:09,108 --> 00:22:11,269 They don't break because you tell them to. 413 00:22:11,343 --> 00:22:13,436 Have you been working out? 414 00:22:14,013 --> 00:22:17,278 And a few nights later, John and I went out for a movie. 415 00:22:17,616 --> 00:22:20,608 I refused to believe that a passionate sexual connection... 416 00:22:20,686 --> 00:22:24,520 ...could not be translated into a meaningful friendship, at the very least. 417 00:22:25,124 --> 00:22:26,455 Did you like the movie? 418 00:22:26,525 --> 00:22:28,516 - Was it a comedy? - No. 419 00:22:28,594 --> 00:22:30,084 I didn't think so. 420 00:22:31,697 --> 00:22:34,427 Isn't this the most amazing block? 421 00:22:34,566 --> 00:22:37,228 All these brownstones are over 100 years old. 422 00:22:37,336 --> 00:22:41,466 It's like being in the New York of Edith Wharton and Henry James. 423 00:22:43,075 --> 00:22:46,977 Sometimes, I can't believe how lucky I am to live right here. 424 00:22:51,550 --> 00:22:52,539 What? 425 00:22:53,352 --> 00:22:55,320 Your tits look great in that thing. 426 00:22:55,387 --> 00:22:58,879 At that moment, I knew we only had two things in common. 427 00:22:59,458 --> 00:23:01,392 Listen, I'd invite you in, but... 428 00:23:01,460 --> 00:23:03,052 No, that's okay. 429 00:23:03,228 --> 00:23:05,196 I got to be up really early tomorrow. 430 00:23:05,764 --> 00:23:06,856 Okay. 431 00:23:13,238 --> 00:23:14,227 I'll call you. 432 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,107 Goodnight. 433 00:23:18,811 --> 00:23:21,405 I knew it was the last time we'd ever see each other. 434 00:23:24,950 --> 00:23:26,076 Just like that... 435 00:23:26,151 --> 00:23:28,745 ...I was thrown right back into my old pattern... 436 00:23:29,121 --> 00:23:32,682 Greasy Chinese, sleeping till noon... 437 00:23:33,058 --> 00:23:36,221 ...and feeling restless. 438 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:50,000 Translation And Subtitles By Captions, Inc. Los Angeles 439 00:24:00,000 --> 00:25:03,000 Ripped by RavyDavy part of the [RL] Crew34357

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