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Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked)
by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew
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I ran into my friend Skipper
on the street the other day.
2
00:00:52,299 --> 00:00:55,791
He was bruised and frantic.
He'd just broken up with another girl.
3
00:00:55,869 --> 00:00:57,837
I thought everything was going fine.
4
00:00:57,904 --> 00:01:00,065
That's when they tiptoe up
and clobber you.
5
00:01:00,140 --> 00:01:02,472
What did she say she thought was wrong?
6
00:01:03,110 --> 00:01:07,877
Skipper, you're a very sweet guy.
This isn't about anything you did.
7
00:01:07,948 --> 00:01:11,111
It's just that we're in very
different places right now.
8
00:01:11,218 --> 00:01:13,311
We want different things from life.
9
00:01:13,754 --> 00:01:15,847
I need to spend more time alone.
10
00:01:15,922 --> 00:01:18,186
So, actually, we want the same thing.
11
00:01:18,258 --> 00:01:20,351
We both want to spend
more time with you.
12
00:01:20,627 --> 00:01:23,755
Three months before that,
it was a dental hygienist named Tiffany.
13
00:01:23,830 --> 00:01:26,390
The timing is wrong, that's all.
14
00:01:26,466 --> 00:01:28,730
You're one of the nicest guys
I've ever known.
15
00:01:29,302 --> 00:01:34,296
I feel like I've reached a time in my life
when I need to focus on my career.
16
00:01:34,608 --> 00:01:36,633
I don't want to feel guilty about that.
17
00:01:36,710 --> 00:01:38,769
I don't want you to give up your career.
18
00:01:38,845 --> 00:01:39,971
I know.
19
00:01:40,046 --> 00:01:41,274
You've been great.
20
00:01:41,415 --> 00:01:44,816
You really deserve someone
who will appreciate you.
21
00:01:45,118 --> 00:01:48,019
I don't feel like I have
anything to give at the moment.
22
00:01:48,522 --> 00:01:51,582
And last year, it was Miranda.
23
00:01:51,658 --> 00:01:54,525
I feel like I need to spend more time alone.
24
00:01:55,595 --> 00:01:59,588
I've just reached a point in my life
where I need to focus on my career.
25
00:02:00,333 --> 00:02:03,200
I don't think that I have
anything to give at the moment.
26
00:02:03,937 --> 00:02:05,837
Skipper, what else can I say?
27
00:02:06,106 --> 00:02:08,370
I have such horrible luck with women.
28
00:02:08,508 --> 00:02:11,102
I should've seen this coming, but I didn't...
29
00:02:11,244 --> 00:02:15,112
...because they wait for you
to get relaxed and get comfortable...
30
00:02:15,182 --> 00:02:18,117
...before they bring the ice pick
down between your eyes.
31
00:02:18,185 --> 00:02:19,277
Not all women...
32
00:02:19,352 --> 00:02:22,082
...just the types of women
you seem to be attracted to.
33
00:02:22,189 --> 00:02:24,783
Over and over and over again.
34
00:02:24,858 --> 00:02:29,124
Those ladies don't know what they're
missing and missing and missing.
35
00:02:29,196 --> 00:02:31,357
Skipper's pattern was clear to both of us.
36
00:02:31,431 --> 00:02:34,457
He was a sweet guy who was
perpetually attracted to women...
37
00:02:34,534 --> 00:02:36,126
...who were looking for jerks.
38
00:02:36,203 --> 00:02:38,467
Later that night, on a date across town...
39
00:02:38,538 --> 00:02:40,802
...Miranda was repeating
a pattern of her own.
40
00:02:40,874 --> 00:02:44,332
She had been dating a lawyer she met
when they fought in court.
41
00:02:44,411 --> 00:02:48,575
A frequent guest on MSBNC,
Kevin was not just argumentative...
42
00:02:48,682 --> 00:02:50,616
...he was an anger professional.
43
00:02:50,684 --> 00:02:52,777
I think I gotta revise my opinion...
44
00:02:52,853 --> 00:02:55,981
...that only an idiot would
want to go out to a movie these days.
45
00:02:56,056 --> 00:02:59,924
It was worth the $19,
plus $10 in snacks and water...
46
00:03:00,026 --> 00:03:03,484
...just to hear that bus driver behind us
explain filmmaking to his wife.
47
00:03:03,563 --> 00:03:05,463
He had some wonderful insights.
48
00:03:05,532 --> 00:03:08,558
On the bright side,
it was an interesting movie, right?
49
00:03:08,635 --> 00:03:10,364
It was a real Citizen Kane.
50
00:03:10,437 --> 00:03:12,769
The actor who played Carlo was charming.
51
00:03:12,839 --> 00:03:16,172
He looked like he walked into work
before the anesthesia wore off...
52
00:03:16,243 --> 00:03:17,471
...from his lobotomy.
53
00:03:17,544 --> 00:03:20,104
All right, I'll just get us a cab, okay?
54
00:03:20,180 --> 00:03:21,169
Taxi!
55
00:03:21,281 --> 00:03:23,613
You gotta face uptown
to get a cab around here.
56
00:03:23,817 --> 00:03:26,047
I've caught plenty of cabs this way.
57
00:03:26,119 --> 00:03:30,317
In never-never land where people
confuse a lack of talent with charm.
58
00:03:32,192 --> 00:03:34,626
Come on, Gene Shalit, get in the damn cab.
59
00:03:35,462 --> 00:03:36,520
Come on.
60
00:03:38,198 --> 00:03:39,722
Get in, sore loser.
61
00:03:39,799 --> 00:03:41,596
Come on, in.
62
00:03:42,135 --> 00:03:44,035
In, come on.
63
00:03:44,771 --> 00:03:48,138
Miranda hated how he ordered her around
and told her what do...
64
00:03:48,208 --> 00:03:50,199
...every place except one.
65
00:03:51,378 --> 00:03:53,846
Put your hands up over your head.
66
00:03:57,684 --> 00:03:59,652
Spread your legs.
67
00:04:10,030 --> 00:04:15,593
The weird thing is when he tells me
what to do in life it drives me crazy.
68
00:04:15,669 --> 00:04:19,332
But when he does it during sex
it really drives me crazy.
69
00:04:19,406 --> 00:04:20,805
It's totally hot!
70
00:04:21,241 --> 00:04:22,765
That looks like a good spot.
71
00:04:22,842 --> 00:04:24,707
Everybody, check for park poo.
72
00:04:24,778 --> 00:04:26,302
Isn't that funny?
73
00:04:26,479 --> 00:04:29,539
That what I hate in life, I love in sex?
74
00:04:29,649 --> 00:04:33,346
So, how about if you limit
your contact with him to just sex?
75
00:04:33,486 --> 00:04:35,920
That's a nice, healthy relationship.
76
00:04:36,056 --> 00:04:38,524
I'm not ready yet to throw in the towel.
77
00:04:38,592 --> 00:04:40,822
You're just ready to
wrap it around his neck.
78
00:04:41,561 --> 00:04:45,258
He's going through a very stressful time
waiting to make partner at his firm.
79
00:04:45,332 --> 00:04:48,096
When that finally works out,
I think he'll lighten up.
80
00:04:48,168 --> 00:04:51,467
Or maybe you should face the fact
that you're attracted to angry men.
81
00:04:51,538 --> 00:04:54,132
- Deviled eggs?
- Wait a second, hold the eggs!
82
00:04:54,207 --> 00:04:56,300
What about Skipper? He never got angry.
83
00:04:56,376 --> 00:04:59,470
- And you dumped him. Fits a pattern.
- I don't have a pattern.
84
00:04:59,546 --> 00:05:01,639
In math,
randomness is considered a pattern.
85
00:05:01,715 --> 00:05:04,775
And I'm what they call a prime number.
86
00:05:05,151 --> 00:05:07,142
She's got a very obvious pattern.
87
00:05:07,220 --> 00:05:09,780
I do? What? Tell me!
88
00:05:09,856 --> 00:05:12,791
You wait for a perfect guy
to ask you on a perfect date...
89
00:05:12,892 --> 00:05:16,384
And when he does,
you project this huge fantasy on him...
90
00:05:16,529 --> 00:05:18,759
...setting up these enormous expectations...
91
00:05:18,832 --> 00:05:21,062
Which promptly blow up
in your pretty face.
92
00:05:21,134 --> 00:05:23,762
You put all your deviled eggs
in one basket.
93
00:05:23,837 --> 00:05:25,304
That's a horrible pattern.
94
00:05:25,472 --> 00:05:27,667
Well, spread it around a little more.
95
00:05:27,741 --> 00:05:31,177
Date a few guys at once
and then you won't feel so disappointed.
96
00:05:31,244 --> 00:05:34,805
- Are you asking Charlotte to juggle?
- It's all about multi-tasking.
97
00:05:35,081 --> 00:05:38,380
None of us can afford to fall into this
"one man at a time" pattern.
98
00:05:38,485 --> 00:05:41,010
Look at how much time
you wasted with Big.
99
00:05:41,221 --> 00:05:42,654
But Big was an aberration.
100
00:05:42,722 --> 00:05:46,453
Next time I meet a handsome, rich,
emotionally unavailable 43-year-old man...
101
00:05:46,526 --> 00:05:48,016
...l'll know what to expect.
102
00:05:48,094 --> 00:05:49,152
Will you?
103
00:05:49,229 --> 00:05:51,720
Or will you make the same mistake
all over again?
104
00:05:51,831 --> 00:05:52,820
I wondered...
105
00:05:52,899 --> 00:05:55,993
...were we all just victims
of conditioned responses?
106
00:05:56,069 --> 00:05:59,505
Doomed to repeat the same
unconscious relationship patterns?
107
00:05:59,739 --> 00:06:02,207
Were we all, in fact, just dating...
108
00:06:02,409 --> 00:06:05,105
...the same person over and over again?
109
00:06:05,211 --> 00:06:08,271
I guess I have dated quite a few artists.
110
00:06:08,348 --> 00:06:10,714
But I don't think they were
all the same person.
111
00:06:10,784 --> 00:06:15,050
Okay, yes. They were all narcissists
with commitment phobias...
112
00:06:15,121 --> 00:06:16,713
...and substance abuse issues.
113
00:06:16,790 --> 00:06:20,920
But, in my opinion, the painters
were very different from the sculptors.
114
00:06:21,728 --> 00:06:24,356
Handsome waspy assholes
who treat me like shit.
115
00:06:24,464 --> 00:06:26,728
I only date girls with Sony Playstations...
116
00:06:27,033 --> 00:06:28,500
...or breasts.
117
00:06:30,603 --> 00:06:34,232
That night, Samantha became acquainted
with the new neighbors next door.
118
00:06:36,076 --> 00:06:38,067
Though she had never met them...
119
00:06:38,178 --> 00:06:40,078
...she already knew them intimately.
120
00:06:42,582 --> 00:06:45,813
The idea that someone else
was having great sex and flaunting it...
121
00:06:45,885 --> 00:06:47,580
...was more than she could bear.
122
00:06:47,787 --> 00:06:50,779
So she decided, if you can't join 'em...
123
00:06:51,858 --> 00:06:52,984
...beat it.
124
00:06:55,795 --> 00:06:58,355
It all fit Samantha's pattern to a T...
125
00:06:59,332 --> 00:07:03,063
...having a wall between her
and the person she was having sex with.
126
00:07:04,304 --> 00:07:06,602
After a few weeks of not seeing Big...
127
00:07:06,673 --> 00:07:10,074
...I was beginning to fall into
some familiar patterns of my own.
128
00:07:10,310 --> 00:07:12,904
Staying out till 3... 00 and sleeping till noon.
129
00:07:13,012 --> 00:07:15,503
Ordering takeout from
the same greasy Chinese...
130
00:07:15,582 --> 00:07:19,678
...and calling old friends who would
always be there for me when I felt...
131
00:07:20,220 --> 00:07:21,517
...restless.
132
00:07:23,556 --> 00:07:24,853
McFadden.
133
00:07:24,958 --> 00:07:26,425
Hey John, it's Carrie.
134
00:07:26,726 --> 00:07:29,786
Carrie, hey, how are you? Long time.
135
00:07:29,863 --> 00:07:33,594
I know. Listen, I thought
if you weren't doing anything...
136
00:07:33,666 --> 00:07:36,157
...you might want to meet
for a drink after work.
137
00:07:36,236 --> 00:07:37,703
Sure, that would be great.
138
00:07:37,804 --> 00:07:39,795
How about sixish?
139
00:07:39,873 --> 00:07:41,397
I could be there at 6:30.
140
00:07:41,474 --> 00:07:43,339
Perfect, I'll see you then.
141
00:07:47,747 --> 00:07:50,511
That evening, at 6... 30 sharp...
142
00:07:53,119 --> 00:07:56,020
- Wow, it's great to see you.
- You, too.
143
00:07:56,823 --> 00:07:59,485
Come on in.
I was just gonna open a bottle of red.
144
00:07:59,592 --> 00:08:01,219
Red, yeah, beautiful.
145
00:08:01,294 --> 00:08:05,230
I just gotta be somewhere by 8:30.
146
00:08:05,899 --> 00:08:08,800
- That's okay, I've got dinner plans at 8:00.
- Okay.
147
00:08:20,380 --> 00:08:24,111
John was as dependable a pal
as a gal could ever hope for.
148
00:08:25,151 --> 00:08:27,813
Fun, comfortable and easy to be with.
149
00:08:27,921 --> 00:08:32,051
The kind of guy who you could shed all
inhibitions and really be yourself around.
150
00:08:32,358 --> 00:08:35,054
No muss, no fuss.
151
00:08:39,666 --> 00:08:41,657
So how's the...
152
00:08:42,202 --> 00:08:43,226
...going?
153
00:08:43,436 --> 00:08:44,494
Great.
154
00:08:44,804 --> 00:08:46,135
It's great.
155
00:08:46,272 --> 00:08:48,240
- How's work with you?
- Never dull.
156
00:08:51,077 --> 00:08:53,875
How's your younger sister doing?
157
00:08:53,947 --> 00:08:55,312
Brother.
158
00:08:56,482 --> 00:09:00,043
The one that moved to Phoenix?
159
00:09:00,353 --> 00:09:02,253
- Tallahassee.
- Right.
160
00:09:03,556 --> 00:09:05,547
So how's he doing down there?
161
00:09:05,692 --> 00:09:08,024
- He's doing great, thanks for asking.
- Sure.
162
00:09:12,765 --> 00:09:14,426
And then I realized it.
163
00:09:14,801 --> 00:09:19,261
I didn't have a relationship pattern,
I had a between-relationship pattern.
164
00:09:19,505 --> 00:09:22,269
I always went back to John
after every devastating...
165
00:09:22,375 --> 00:09:24,605
...soul-shattering, gut-wrenching break up.
166
00:09:24,711 --> 00:09:27,271
He was sweet, handsome, uncomplicated.
167
00:09:27,413 --> 00:09:29,904
A real shot in the arm
for my sexual self esteem.
168
00:09:30,016 --> 00:09:32,211
Thanks for the call, gorgeous.
169
00:09:35,054 --> 00:09:37,147
Sure put a cherry on my sundae.
170
00:09:37,857 --> 00:09:40,792
Why had I been keeping him
on the bench all these years?
171
00:09:40,894 --> 00:09:44,853
Did I really believe a relationship
had to be difficult in order to work?
172
00:09:46,399 --> 00:09:49,766
Do you want to have dinner Friday night?
173
00:09:50,169 --> 00:09:51,193
Dinner?
174
00:09:52,472 --> 00:09:55,737
I should check my schedule,
but I think I can make it.
175
00:09:55,808 --> 00:09:56,797
Great.
176
00:09:56,876 --> 00:09:58,275
You want to say...
177
00:09:58,611 --> 00:09:59,703
...8:00?
178
00:10:00,113 --> 00:10:01,307
How about 8:15?
179
00:10:01,381 --> 00:10:04,373
And just like that, I broke my pattern.
180
00:10:05,451 --> 00:10:08,477
Carrie, you can't date your fuck buddy.
181
00:10:08,554 --> 00:10:11,785
Say it a little louder.
The lady in the last row didn't hear you.
182
00:10:11,858 --> 00:10:15,453
You wanna take the only person in your life
that's there purely for sex...
183
00:10:15,528 --> 00:10:17,189
...and make him a human being?
184
00:10:17,263 --> 00:10:18,252
Why?
185
00:10:18,731 --> 00:10:21,097
Excuse me, "fuck buddy"?
186
00:10:21,601 --> 00:10:23,501
What is a "fuck buddy"?
187
00:10:23,703 --> 00:10:25,762
Come on.
188
00:10:26,572 --> 00:10:30,736
A fuck buddy is a guy you dated
once or twice and it didn't go anywhere...
189
00:10:30,810 --> 00:10:33,973
...but the sex is so great,
you sort of keep him on call.
190
00:10:34,047 --> 00:10:35,446
He's like "dial-a-dick."
191
00:10:35,715 --> 00:10:40,675
You mean you just call this guy up
when you're, you know, horny?
192
00:10:40,753 --> 00:10:42,015
Yes.
193
00:10:42,088 --> 00:10:43,646
And he just comes right over?
194
00:10:43,723 --> 00:10:46,453
Well, he's not a slave, sweetheart.
He does have a life.
195
00:10:46,526 --> 00:10:48,391
But you don't have to know about it.
196
00:10:48,461 --> 00:10:51,828
And you're guaranteed delivery
within Manhattan in six hours or less.
197
00:10:52,165 --> 00:10:53,757
And you guys all have one?
198
00:10:53,866 --> 00:10:57,529
Mine moved to Chicago
but now we have phone sex.
199
00:10:57,603 --> 00:10:59,070
What's he doing in Chicago?
200
00:10:59,238 --> 00:11:01,468
I have absolutely no idea.
201
00:11:01,941 --> 00:11:04,705
A few moments later,
emboldened by our conversation...
202
00:11:04,777 --> 00:11:07,109
...and high from too many
tantric headstands...
203
00:11:07,180 --> 00:11:10,149
...Charlotte asked a man out
for the first time.
204
00:11:10,283 --> 00:11:12,148
Man, that class was tough.
205
00:11:12,218 --> 00:11:14,618
I never sweated so much in my entire life.
206
00:11:15,888 --> 00:11:18,516
Would you like to go out
to dinner Friday night?
207
00:11:19,092 --> 00:11:20,081
Sure.
208
00:11:24,464 --> 00:11:25,453
I wondered...
209
00:11:25,531 --> 00:11:29,194
...if Charlotte can break her pattern and
ask out every man in Manhattan...
210
00:11:29,268 --> 00:11:31,600
...why couldn't I have
a deeper relationship...
211
00:11:31,671 --> 00:11:33,639
...with a man I have shallow sex with?
212
00:11:39,045 --> 00:11:40,569
Wow.
213
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,441
You're all dressy.
214
00:11:43,850 --> 00:11:45,477
I guess.
215
00:11:46,119 --> 00:11:47,108
Thanks.
216
00:11:47,186 --> 00:11:50,815
I wanted to tell him
that he'd never actually seen me in clothes.
217
00:11:50,890 --> 00:11:53,188
Do you want a glass of wine first, or...
218
00:11:53,259 --> 00:11:56,319
No, I'm fine, thanks.
219
00:11:59,032 --> 00:12:00,556
Hey, wait, wait, wait.
220
00:12:02,168 --> 00:12:04,830
- I made reservations.
- Huh?
221
00:12:05,004 --> 00:12:06,335
At a sushi restaurant.
222
00:12:08,107 --> 00:12:10,268
Cool. I see.
223
00:12:10,977 --> 00:12:13,468
No! I mean, God!
224
00:12:13,713 --> 00:12:16,113
I mean sushi...
225
00:12:16,416 --> 00:12:18,543
...Japanese food!
226
00:12:18,684 --> 00:12:21,118
When you said dinner, you meant dinner.
227
00:12:21,187 --> 00:12:22,211
Yeah.
228
00:12:22,321 --> 00:12:25,552
It's just that, whenever we've had dinner,
we've always, you know.
229
00:12:25,625 --> 00:12:27,217
Yeah, I know.
230
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:31,054
I'm just gonna get my purse.
231
00:12:31,330 --> 00:12:35,460
Like most first dates,
we were off to an awkward start.
232
00:12:44,811 --> 00:12:49,680
The yellow tail sashimi,
two pieces of salmon sushi...
233
00:12:49,782 --> 00:12:52,046
...and a spicy tuna hand roll.
234
00:12:52,418 --> 00:12:53,544
Do you like eel?
235
00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:55,217
No way.
236
00:12:55,288 --> 00:12:58,348
I'll have the chicken teriyaki, well done.
237
00:12:58,458 --> 00:13:01,052
No, the sushi's so amazing here.
238
00:13:01,794 --> 00:13:03,523
I can't deal with the raw stuff.
239
00:13:03,596 --> 00:13:06,121
Why didn't you say?
We could've gone someplace else.
240
00:13:06,199 --> 00:13:09,191
Don't worry about it.
If I'm hungry, I'll grab a burger after.
241
00:13:09,368 --> 00:13:10,494
Okay.
242
00:13:11,537 --> 00:13:13,971
Hey, listen, before I forget...
243
00:13:14,907 --> 00:13:16,738
...this is for you.
244
00:13:17,110 --> 00:13:19,704
Thanks. What is it?
245
00:13:19,779 --> 00:13:23,977
Forty minutes free long distance,
continental U.S., no strings attached.
246
00:13:24,150 --> 00:13:26,675
It's to promote our new 7-7-3 service:
247
00:13:26,786 --> 00:13:30,313
Seven days, seven hours, $3 a day.
248
00:13:30,890 --> 00:13:31,982
Thank you.
249
00:13:32,058 --> 00:13:33,116
So you...
250
00:13:33,226 --> 00:13:36,218
Think these gimmicks up?
Sort of. Officially, I sell time.
251
00:13:36,295 --> 00:13:39,526
I get incentive minutes which
I can distribute at my own discretion.
252
00:13:40,633 --> 00:13:43,363
So, if I'm lucky,
I might get a whole hour next time?
253
00:13:43,436 --> 00:13:44,494
I don't think so.
254
00:13:44,570 --> 00:13:46,834
But if you're currently with MCI
and switch...
255
00:13:46,906 --> 00:13:48,567
...then you get two free hours.
256
00:13:49,008 --> 00:13:50,373
I was kidding.
257
00:13:50,476 --> 00:13:52,341
Right, gotcha.
258
00:13:56,916 --> 00:13:59,248
Maybe we should just order some sake?
259
00:13:59,485 --> 00:14:00,474
Yeah, sure.
260
00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:02,511
Hey, sake to me!
261
00:14:05,758 --> 00:14:07,919
We went back to my place for a quickie.
262
00:14:09,162 --> 00:14:12,598
I needed to erase the stagnant
memory of the past two hours.
263
00:14:12,665 --> 00:14:15,793
Was it really possible that
someone so stimulating in bed...
264
00:14:15,868 --> 00:14:18,530
...could be so tedious in life?
265
00:14:28,915 --> 00:14:31,907
Meanwhile, Samantha was actually
beginning to look forward...
266
00:14:31,984 --> 00:14:34,009
...to the company of her new neighbors.
267
00:14:34,487 --> 00:14:38,253
Every night, like clockwork,
right after the end of the 11... 00 news...
268
00:14:46,432 --> 00:14:49,595
...Samantha relished her role as
the invisible guest vocalist...
269
00:14:49,669 --> 00:14:51,660
...to an unseen band.
270
00:14:56,809 --> 00:15:00,040
Until one night, she wasn't so invisible.
271
00:15:17,763 --> 00:15:21,597
That Saturday, Miranda planned for us
all to meet her latest fling for brunch.
272
00:15:21,801 --> 00:15:24,201
Apparently,
he had flung himself elsewhere.
273
00:15:24,270 --> 00:15:25,828
He should be here any minute.
274
00:15:25,905 --> 00:15:28,169
Don't worry about it. If it's just us, fine.
275
00:15:28,241 --> 00:15:30,573
It's not like we've got anywhere else to go.
276
00:15:30,643 --> 00:15:31,940
I have a date tonight.
277
00:15:32,044 --> 00:15:34,035
- With whom?
- That yoga guy.
278
00:15:34,113 --> 00:15:35,205
I asked him out.
279
00:15:35,448 --> 00:15:37,507
Wow, I'm impressed.
280
00:15:37,950 --> 00:15:41,113
Once I broke the ice with him,
it was just like riding a bike.
281
00:15:41,187 --> 00:15:44,350
I have so many dates this week,
that I just scheduled two tonight.
282
00:15:44,423 --> 00:15:46,653
- You double-booked?
- I had to.
283
00:15:46,726 --> 00:15:50,162
One guy is leaving town
and I couldn't cancel the other.
284
00:15:50,229 --> 00:15:52,356
How do you conceive pulling this one off?
285
00:15:52,431 --> 00:15:55,457
Early dinner with bachelor one,
late supper with bachelor two.
286
00:15:55,534 --> 00:15:58,264
My God, you're turning into a man.
287
00:15:58,337 --> 00:16:01,033
Charlotte had done more
than break a pattern.
288
00:16:01,107 --> 00:16:02,972
She had actually changed genders.
289
00:16:03,643 --> 00:16:06,635
I just don't know how I'm ever
gonna eat two dinners in a row.
290
00:16:06,712 --> 00:16:09,704
And then, just like that,
she was a woman again.
291
00:16:09,782 --> 00:16:10,771
Sorry, babe.
292
00:16:10,850 --> 00:16:14,843
The idiot who drove me here apparently
passed his driving test in Bangladesh.
293
00:16:15,087 --> 00:16:17,817
I'm just happy to get off
that fuckin' rickshaw alive.
294
00:16:17,890 --> 00:16:21,485
Kevin, this is Carrie,
and Samantha, and Charlotte.
295
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,323
- This is Kevin.
- Nice to meet you.
296
00:16:23,396 --> 00:16:27,025
I have to go make a call, I'll be back.
Waitress! A draft beer here.
297
00:16:28,901 --> 00:16:30,061
He's cute.
298
00:16:30,136 --> 00:16:32,434
In a tightly wound sort of way.
299
00:16:32,505 --> 00:16:35,269
He's finding out on Tuesday
whether he made partner.
300
00:16:35,341 --> 00:16:38,606
I'm keeping my fingers crossed
that he'll unwind some after that.
301
00:16:43,416 --> 00:16:44,576
What are you doing?
302
00:16:44,684 --> 00:16:47,380
I just don't want him
going off on the waitress.
303
00:16:48,888 --> 00:16:51,584
That evening,
Charlotte set out to break her pattern.
304
00:16:51,691 --> 00:16:54,023
A casual meal with Eric from yoga...
305
00:16:54,093 --> 00:16:57,256
...discovering a mutual love
for long drives up Maine coasts...
306
00:16:57,330 --> 00:16:59,457
...and reruns of Nanny and the Professor.
307
00:16:59,532 --> 00:17:00,965
She was psychic, wasn't she?
308
00:17:01,033 --> 00:17:02,022
Absolutely.
309
00:17:02,101 --> 00:17:04,331
But it was very subtle, very sophisticated.
310
00:17:04,503 --> 00:17:07,097
I don't think that kids today
would understand it.
311
00:17:08,474 --> 00:17:12,001
When I have kids,
I'm gonna be a total nazi with the remote.
312
00:17:12,078 --> 00:17:13,272
I want them to read.
313
00:17:13,346 --> 00:17:15,143
How many kids do you want to have?
314
00:17:15,348 --> 00:17:16,906
Two: One of each.
315
00:17:17,283 --> 00:17:18,773
Sounds perfect.
316
00:17:19,085 --> 00:17:23,351
As Charlotte began to swim in visions
of family summers in Kennebunkport...
317
00:17:23,522 --> 00:17:25,990
...she realized she was late
for the second shift.
318
00:17:26,058 --> 00:17:27,150
Oh my God.
319
00:17:27,927 --> 00:17:28,951
What's wrong?
320
00:17:31,664 --> 00:17:34,690
My throat is so sore.
321
00:17:35,034 --> 00:17:38,128
I've just been fighting this cold all week.
322
00:17:39,238 --> 00:17:40,899
Let me get the check.
323
00:17:40,973 --> 00:17:42,668
I'm so sorry.
324
00:17:42,842 --> 00:17:45,037
I had a really great time.
325
00:17:46,579 --> 00:17:47,568
Me, too.
326
00:17:49,148 --> 00:17:51,742
While Charlotte was off
to her next engagement...
327
00:17:51,817 --> 00:17:55,014
...Samantha was imagining
an engagement of her own.
328
00:18:02,495 --> 00:18:04,895
Excuse me, Jesus!
329
00:18:06,966 --> 00:18:08,900
Hi, I was just wondering...
330
00:18:08,968 --> 00:18:11,528
...do you know
who lives in that apartment?
331
00:18:12,037 --> 00:18:15,905
Yes, very nice.
332
00:18:16,842 --> 00:18:19,709
Musician. His wife, a dancer.
333
00:18:19,979 --> 00:18:23,278
Really? And are they nice looking?
334
00:18:24,183 --> 00:18:26,777
Yes, very nice.
335
00:18:28,053 --> 00:18:29,042
Very good.
336
00:18:29,121 --> 00:18:31,248
Okay, then. Carry on.
337
00:18:35,060 --> 00:18:39,053
Later that night, Charlotte was returning
from a second dinner of steamed mussels...
338
00:18:39,131 --> 00:18:43,295
...and fries with bachelor number two,
an art loving commodities broker.
339
00:18:43,402 --> 00:18:45,461
- I had a really great time.
- Me, too.
340
00:18:47,807 --> 00:18:49,570
Excuse me.
341
00:18:49,675 --> 00:18:51,666
So, can I call you?
342
00:18:51,977 --> 00:18:53,103
Definitely.
343
00:18:53,212 --> 00:18:54,577
Okay.
344
00:19:01,787 --> 00:19:02,719
Charlotte?
345
00:19:03,989 --> 00:19:06,355
Eric, what are you doing here?
346
00:19:06,459 --> 00:19:08,689
I was just leaving you some chicken soup...
347
00:19:08,761 --> 00:19:10,160
...for your throat.
348
00:19:10,296 --> 00:19:12,161
But I see you've healed.
349
00:19:12,498 --> 00:19:14,022
Who is this guy?
350
00:19:14,099 --> 00:19:16,590
I'm the guy she had dinner with before you.
351
00:19:17,503 --> 00:19:18,902
You double-booked us?
352
00:19:18,971 --> 00:19:20,199
Hey, don't feel bad.
353
00:19:20,272 --> 00:19:23,105
You got the late shift.
You get to take her upstairs.
354
00:19:23,175 --> 00:19:24,233
I don't think so.
355
00:19:24,443 --> 00:19:26,911
You know what? Enjoy the soup.
356
00:19:28,113 --> 00:19:29,410
Hey, you going uptown?
357
00:19:30,216 --> 00:19:32,514
- Yeah, West Side.
- Wanna share a cab?
358
00:19:32,952 --> 00:19:34,010
Sure.
359
00:19:35,354 --> 00:19:38,016
From that moment on,
Charlotte developed a new pattern.
360
00:19:38,090 --> 00:19:41,753
She made it a rule never to take advice
from her friends again.
361
00:19:45,030 --> 00:19:46,622
Very late that night...
362
00:19:46,699 --> 00:19:50,999
...Samantha decided to roll out
the welcome mat for her new neighbors.
363
00:19:57,109 --> 00:20:00,078
The musician and the dancer
turned out to be a middle-aged...
364
00:20:00,145 --> 00:20:01,635
...Eastern European couple.
365
00:20:01,881 --> 00:20:04,748
He played in a polka band.
She was a dancer...
366
00:20:04,917 --> 00:20:06,282
...once upon a time.
367
00:20:06,385 --> 00:20:07,852
Samantha?
368
00:20:10,022 --> 00:20:12,013
Would you mind keeping it down?
369
00:20:12,658 --> 00:20:14,683
I'm trying to get some sleep.
370
00:20:16,829 --> 00:20:19,059
Samantha broke a pattern after all.
371
00:20:21,133 --> 00:20:24,000
She decided to move her bed
to the opposite wall.
372
00:20:25,404 --> 00:20:28,396
Later that week,
Kevin experienced a dream come true.
373
00:20:28,541 --> 00:20:31,738
He was made a full partner
of the law firm where he worked.
374
00:20:31,844 --> 00:20:34,005
He took Miranda out to celebrate.
375
00:20:35,281 --> 00:20:36,305
A toast.
376
00:20:36,715 --> 00:20:39,240
- To a very happy occasion.
- Yeah.
377
00:20:39,318 --> 00:20:41,286
I'm falling all over myself with glee.
378
00:20:41,353 --> 00:20:43,947
I get to work 60 hours a week
for the same salary.
379
00:20:44,023 --> 00:20:45,183
I'm walking on air.
380
00:20:45,257 --> 00:20:47,418
Can't we enjoy your success
for one fucking second?
381
00:20:47,493 --> 00:20:50,053
You don't get how stressful my life is.
382
00:20:50,129 --> 00:20:52,654
You really do live in never-never land,
don't you?
383
00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:55,489
By the way...
384
00:20:55,568 --> 00:20:59,436
...if there's a difference between this
$100 champagne and the crap for $29...
385
00:20:59,505 --> 00:21:02,269
...it takes a more delicate palate
than mine to detect it.
386
00:21:02,341 --> 00:21:05,435
Well, I like the champagne,
and the bread is fabulous.
387
00:21:05,544 --> 00:21:08,274
Oh my God, look at those flowers.
388
00:21:08,447 --> 00:21:09,539
Don't piss me off.
389
00:21:13,419 --> 00:21:14,750
Where are you going?
390
00:21:14,887 --> 00:21:16,411
Back to never-never land.
391
00:21:16,488 --> 00:21:20,117
And by the way, never-never call me again.
392
00:21:20,192 --> 00:21:21,386
Have a nice day.
393
00:21:21,694 --> 00:21:22,752
What?
394
00:21:22,895 --> 00:21:26,524
Miranda broke her pattern
in a way that she had never expected.
395
00:21:26,699 --> 00:21:30,135
The angry guy had turned her
into a cock-eyed optimist.
396
00:21:30,336 --> 00:21:32,770
There couldn't have been
a more perfect moment...
397
00:21:32,838 --> 00:21:35,671
...to see Skipper
for the first time since she dumped him.
398
00:21:35,741 --> 00:21:37,902
Hey, Skipper!
399
00:21:39,278 --> 00:21:40,643
Slow down a minute.
400
00:21:40,713 --> 00:21:42,806
Don't tell me what to do, okay?
401
00:21:43,215 --> 00:21:45,945
I just wanted to say hello.
How've you been?
402
00:21:46,885 --> 00:21:48,011
How've I been?
403
00:21:48,087 --> 00:21:51,056
You got a lot of nerve
talking to me like nothing happened...
404
00:21:51,123 --> 00:21:53,614
...ever since you tossed me out
like bad milk.
405
00:21:53,692 --> 00:21:55,523
I've been friggin' wonderful.
406
00:21:55,594 --> 00:21:57,687
Now that I've got you out of my system.
407
00:21:57,763 --> 00:21:59,731
Can't I just talk to you for a minute?
408
00:22:00,232 --> 00:22:02,291
Could I buy you a beer or something?
409
00:22:02,401 --> 00:22:04,869
Miranda had never seen him
as angry as this before.
410
00:22:04,937 --> 00:22:07,201
Much to her horror, she was attracted.
411
00:22:07,339 --> 00:22:09,034
That's the thing about patterns.
412
00:22:09,108 --> 00:22:11,269
They don't break because you tell them to.
413
00:22:11,343 --> 00:22:13,436
Have you been working out?
414
00:22:14,013 --> 00:22:17,278
And a few nights later,
John and I went out for a movie.
415
00:22:17,616 --> 00:22:20,608
I refused to believe that
a passionate sexual connection...
416
00:22:20,686 --> 00:22:24,520
...could not be translated into
a meaningful friendship, at the very least.
417
00:22:25,124 --> 00:22:26,455
Did you like the movie?
418
00:22:26,525 --> 00:22:28,516
- Was it a comedy?
- No.
419
00:22:28,594 --> 00:22:30,084
I didn't think so.
420
00:22:31,697 --> 00:22:34,427
Isn't this the most amazing block?
421
00:22:34,566 --> 00:22:37,228
All these brownstones
are over 100 years old.
422
00:22:37,336 --> 00:22:41,466
It's like being in the New York
of Edith Wharton and Henry James.
423
00:22:43,075 --> 00:22:46,977
Sometimes, I can't believe
how lucky I am to live right here.
424
00:22:51,550 --> 00:22:52,539
What?
425
00:22:53,352 --> 00:22:55,320
Your tits look great in that thing.
426
00:22:55,387 --> 00:22:58,879
At that moment,
I knew we only had two things in common.
427
00:22:59,458 --> 00:23:01,392
Listen, I'd invite you in, but...
428
00:23:01,460 --> 00:23:03,052
No, that's okay.
429
00:23:03,228 --> 00:23:05,196
I got to be up really early tomorrow.
430
00:23:05,764 --> 00:23:06,856
Okay.
431
00:23:13,238 --> 00:23:14,227
I'll call you.
432
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,107
Goodnight.
433
00:23:18,811 --> 00:23:21,405
I knew it was the last time
we'd ever see each other.
434
00:23:24,950 --> 00:23:26,076
Just like that...
435
00:23:26,151 --> 00:23:28,745
...I was thrown right back
into my old pattern...
436
00:23:29,121 --> 00:23:32,682
Greasy Chinese, sleeping till noon...
437
00:23:33,058 --> 00:23:36,221
...and feeling restless.
438
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:50,000
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439
00:24:00,000 --> 00:25:03,000
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