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Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked)
by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew
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There are over seven million people
in New York...
2
00:00:50,530 --> 00:00:52,555
...not including houseguests.
3
00:00:52,632 --> 00:00:55,362
Visitors are a vital part
of the city's economy.
4
00:00:55,435 --> 00:00:59,235
Most single people in Manhattan
do not buy furniture or hang pictures...
5
00:00:59,306 --> 00:01:01,501
...until the arrival of an out-of-towner.
6
00:01:01,608 --> 00:01:04,042
That's a great couch.
Where'd it come from?
7
00:01:04,244 --> 00:01:05,472
I have no idea.
8
00:01:05,579 --> 00:01:09,743
Everything in Miranda's new apartment
was hand-picked, finished and arranged...
9
00:01:09,816 --> 00:01:13,752
...by Charlotte's friend, Madeline Dunn,
an up-and-coming interior designer.
10
00:01:13,854 --> 00:01:15,719
I've been looking for one of those.
11
00:01:15,789 --> 00:01:17,984
That's very stylish for a pullout.
12
00:01:18,892 --> 00:01:21,360
I'll have that end table for you tomorrow.
13
00:01:25,699 --> 00:01:26,688
Thank you.
14
00:01:26,767 --> 00:01:27,825
You're welcome.
15
00:01:28,702 --> 00:01:30,135
This is a sofa bed?
16
00:01:31,338 --> 00:01:34,830
That's what started this whole thing.
I needed a sofa bed for Jeremy.
17
00:01:34,975 --> 00:01:38,604
If he actually sleeps on it
while staying in my fabulous apartment...
18
00:01:38,745 --> 00:01:41,009
...l'll throw myself out a window treatment.
19
00:01:41,415 --> 00:01:44,942
Jeremy was an old friend of Miranda's
who'd been in London...
20
00:01:45,018 --> 00:01:46,576
...writing for The Economist.
21
00:01:46,653 --> 00:01:49,451
He was coming to New York
to scope out the job situation.
22
00:01:49,523 --> 00:01:53,755
Miranda suggested he be her houseguest,
because his e-mails, always entertaining...
23
00:01:53,827 --> 00:01:56,387
...had started to border on flirtatious.
24
00:01:56,730 --> 00:02:00,757
Meanwhile, I had become
a frequent houseguest of Big's.
25
00:02:02,636 --> 00:02:05,196
Do you have a spare toothbrush
I could use?
26
00:02:06,773 --> 00:02:08,604
A spare toothbrush?
27
00:02:08,742 --> 00:02:10,505
I'll bring you a new one.
28
00:02:11,445 --> 00:02:12,844
Excuse me.
29
00:02:37,737 --> 00:02:42,640
There's only one pink brush head
and Big was giving his to me.
30
00:02:43,176 --> 00:02:46,771
It was the most encouraging moment
so far in our relationship.
31
00:02:48,248 --> 00:02:52,480
The next night, Jeremy arrived. He was
more adorable than Miranda remembered.
32
00:02:52,586 --> 00:02:54,213
I love your flat.
33
00:02:54,321 --> 00:02:55,515
Thanks.
34
00:02:55,789 --> 00:02:57,154
How the hell are you?
35
00:02:57,257 --> 00:02:58,849
Especially when he said...
36
00:02:58,959 --> 00:03:01,826
I'm tired of dating.
I'm ready to get married.
37
00:03:04,164 --> 00:03:06,189
Miranda, are you here?
38
00:03:06,500 --> 00:03:08,365
Coming!
39
00:03:08,969 --> 00:03:10,527
That must be my end table.
40
00:03:10,937 --> 00:03:13,701
My end table is afraid to go out alone.
41
00:03:15,509 --> 00:03:17,773
I hope you like the finish.
42
00:03:17,878 --> 00:03:20,403
It's a hair darker than I was thinking.
43
00:03:20,647 --> 00:03:22,615
Sorry to interrupt.
44
00:03:22,849 --> 00:03:27,445
- That's beautiful. Is it Biedermeyer?
- Inspired by Biedermeyer. Good eye.
45
00:03:27,554 --> 00:03:30,114
I'm addicted to Architectural Digest.
46
00:03:30,223 --> 00:03:33,021
- Jeremy Fields.
- Madeline.
47
00:03:33,293 --> 00:03:34,885
Madeline Dunn.
48
00:03:35,662 --> 00:03:36,720
Pleasure.
49
00:03:38,265 --> 00:03:39,755
Thanks for bringing that by.
50
00:03:39,833 --> 00:03:42,324
We were just about to get some dinner.
51
00:03:42,402 --> 00:03:44,393
Did you want to join us?
52
00:03:46,172 --> 00:03:49,505
Last week, I was doing an interview
at a restaurant in Kensington...
53
00:03:49,643 --> 00:03:53,135
Miranda found herself in the situation
every woman dreams of...
54
00:03:53,213 --> 00:03:55,807
She was on a truly great first date.
55
00:03:55,916 --> 00:03:59,181
...just be careful not to eat any buckshot!
56
00:03:59,653 --> 00:04:02,178
Unfortunately, it was somebody else's.
57
00:04:03,223 --> 00:04:05,214
I should get Jeremy home.
58
00:04:05,325 --> 00:04:07,020
You must be jet-lagged.
59
00:04:07,127 --> 00:04:09,994
Actually, I feel great.
I slept on the plane for once.
60
00:04:10,063 --> 00:04:11,462
I'm pretty beat.
61
00:04:11,698 --> 00:04:13,563
Did you want to go?
62
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:15,461
Not if you're...
63
00:04:15,969 --> 00:04:18,597
Go ahead, I can find my way back.
64
00:04:19,773 --> 00:04:22,105
Of course. We don't have to...
65
00:04:22,475 --> 00:04:25,273
Except I forgot to make a copy of the key.
66
00:04:27,247 --> 00:04:30,182
Jeremy could use my key.
67
00:04:31,351 --> 00:04:33,012
Of course.
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00:04:33,086 --> 00:04:34,986
I gave you a key.
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00:04:39,259 --> 00:04:40,590
Goodnight.
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00:04:45,131 --> 00:04:46,962
I was at the same restaurant...
71
00:04:48,134 --> 00:04:51,501
A week later,
Miranda threw Jeremy a going away party.
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00:04:58,979 --> 00:05:01,880
I'd like to make a toast to
my good friend Miranda...
73
00:05:01,982 --> 00:05:06,510
...who not only put me up, she threw this
soir�e in celebration of my departure.
74
00:05:07,253 --> 00:05:09,050
Miranda, I get the hint.
75
00:05:10,390 --> 00:05:14,884
I'd especially like to thank her
for introducing me to Madeline...
76
00:05:15,095 --> 00:05:18,758
...an incredible, beautiful woman
who must be drunk off her ass...
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00:05:18,865 --> 00:05:21,265
...because she just agreed to marry me.
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00:05:22,936 --> 00:05:26,201
Apparently, the only thing going away
was Miranda's dream.
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00:05:26,373 --> 00:05:28,204
Congratulations.
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Ice.
81
00:05:32,278 --> 00:05:33,939
We should get more ice.
82
00:05:35,448 --> 00:05:39,111
Everyone says, as soon as you get
your own place, someone will propose.
83
00:05:39,285 --> 00:05:40,946
I thought it would be to me.
84
00:05:41,121 --> 00:05:43,487
At the least,
she owes you a mortgage payment.
85
00:05:43,556 --> 00:05:46,423
How is this even possible?
These people just met.
86
00:05:46,693 --> 00:05:48,126
It's love at first sight.
87
00:05:48,194 --> 00:05:53,222
This isn't love. This is two people
justifying a week of non-stop fucking.
88
00:05:53,333 --> 00:05:55,665
On my furniture. I have to redecorate.
89
00:05:55,902 --> 00:05:57,699
I think this is encouraging.
90
00:05:57,871 --> 00:06:02,604
Even if you're not dating anybody,
you could be engaged in a couple of weeks.
91
00:06:02,676 --> 00:06:04,837
Or you could be dating someone
for a year...
92
00:06:04,944 --> 00:06:07,674
...and be thrilled to get
an electric toothbrush head.
93
00:06:07,781 --> 00:06:11,114
I don't understand why women are
so obsessed about getting married.
94
00:06:11,217 --> 00:06:13,378
Married people just want
to be single again.
95
00:06:13,687 --> 00:06:16,850
If you're single,
the world is your smorgasbord.
96
00:06:16,956 --> 00:06:20,858
Can you tell me if this is where
Jeremy Fields's engagement party is?
97
00:06:20,994 --> 00:06:23,462
It's the red awning,
and it's a going away party.
98
00:06:23,530 --> 00:06:26,499
- I can take you there.
- Were you going to the party?
99
00:06:26,566 --> 00:06:29,933
I was leaving the party because
there were no handsome men there.
100
00:06:30,003 --> 00:06:32,335
Maybe the tide is turning.
101
00:06:37,944 --> 00:06:39,377
I get it.
102
00:06:39,546 --> 00:06:42,276
My apartment is lucky
for everybody but me.
103
00:06:42,515 --> 00:06:44,779
What apartment isn't lucky for Samantha?
104
00:06:45,051 --> 00:06:46,541
This is all your fault.
105
00:06:46,653 --> 00:06:47,483
What?
106
00:06:47,554 --> 00:06:49,385
You introduced me to Madeline.
107
00:06:49,456 --> 00:06:52,983
I could've hired a nice gay decorator
and none of this would've happened.
108
00:06:53,059 --> 00:06:55,084
Madeline and Jeremy might've never met.
109
00:06:55,161 --> 00:06:57,755
Yes, and Jeremy would've
fallen in love with me.
110
00:06:57,897 --> 00:06:59,524
It's not like musical chairs.
111
00:06:59,632 --> 00:07:01,600
Why not me? What am I doing wrong?
112
00:07:01,701 --> 00:07:03,225
Am I invisible?
113
00:07:03,336 --> 00:07:04,496
Can I help you?
114
00:07:04,771 --> 00:07:06,534
I live here!
115
00:07:11,077 --> 00:07:13,910
That night, I needed a little reality check.
116
00:07:20,587 --> 00:07:22,350
I was just at this party...
117
00:07:22,689 --> 00:07:25,988
...and two people who met a week ago
announced their engagement.
118
00:07:26,059 --> 00:07:27,048
And?
119
00:07:27,127 --> 00:07:29,595
I don't know. Isn't that a bit shocking?
120
00:07:29,829 --> 00:07:33,390
This is New York. Nothing is shocking.
We've embraced public urination.
121
00:07:35,135 --> 00:07:37,262
These people think they're soul mates.
122
00:07:37,570 --> 00:07:39,868
Did they actually use the term
"soul mates"?
123
00:07:40,206 --> 00:07:41,298
Several times.
124
00:07:41,441 --> 00:07:44,433
Then, I give them three months.
What are you wearing?
125
00:07:46,412 --> 00:07:51,076
- Do you believe in love at first sight?
- I believe in lust at first sight.
126
00:07:51,317 --> 00:07:52,306
I'm serious.
127
00:07:52,485 --> 00:07:53,509
So am I.
128
00:07:53,820 --> 00:07:56,584
Come on, I need a visual.
129
00:07:57,590 --> 00:07:59,990
I don't know, a top, strapless.
130
00:08:00,293 --> 00:08:01,419
It's denim.
131
00:08:02,729 --> 00:08:04,492
Were you asleep when I called?
132
00:08:04,898 --> 00:08:05,887
Yes.
133
00:08:06,466 --> 00:08:08,525
- Sorry.
- It's okay.
134
00:08:08,668 --> 00:08:10,431
But next time, be at the door...
135
00:08:11,304 --> 00:08:12,328
...naked.
136
00:08:14,007 --> 00:08:15,872
I started to wonder.
137
00:08:15,942 --> 00:08:18,001
In a city as cynical as New York...
138
00:08:18,111 --> 00:08:21,308
...is it still possible
to believe in love at first sight?
139
00:08:21,648 --> 00:08:23,707
I'd completely given up on the idea.
140
00:08:23,817 --> 00:08:27,218
Now I know, the ones who don't believe
in love at first sight...
141
00:08:27,287 --> 00:08:29,084
...have never experienced it.
142
00:08:29,289 --> 00:08:32,417
Love at first sight is
for Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman.
143
00:08:32,525 --> 00:08:34,390
It's too flaky for New York.
144
00:08:34,460 --> 00:08:39,625
Here, women want a blood test and an
ATM receipt before you get their number.
145
00:08:39,699 --> 00:08:41,963
How can you believe in love at first sight...
146
00:08:42,035 --> 00:08:44,765
...in a city where people jerk off on you
in the subway?
147
00:08:46,239 --> 00:08:49,675
A bride four weeks from her wedding
doesn't have time to have a coffee.
148
00:08:49,742 --> 00:08:54,679
So, I joined Madeline for a mind-boggling
hour in the presence of absolute certainty.
149
00:08:55,281 --> 00:08:57,272
...flowers everywhere.
150
00:08:57,350 --> 00:09:01,684
I'd like each bridesmaid to carry a different
flower: Tulips, irises, lilies, daisies.
151
00:09:01,754 --> 00:09:03,517
Charlotte should have the tulips.
152
00:09:03,590 --> 00:09:07,082
- Did she say she's one of my bridesmaids?
- She's thrilled.
153
00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:10,687
I've asked Miranda to do the guest books
since she introduced us.
154
00:09:11,798 --> 00:09:15,199
Carrie, I'm such a fan of your column.
155
00:09:15,268 --> 00:09:18,829
Would you consider
writing something to read at our wedding?
156
00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:23,438
- What does she want you to write?
- A poem about love.
157
00:09:23,509 --> 00:09:25,374
Dear God, I hope you said no.
158
00:09:25,478 --> 00:09:28,106
How can you refuse to be
involved in a wedding?
159
00:09:28,181 --> 00:09:30,911
If I knew, I wouldn't be
in charge of the guest book.
160
00:09:31,417 --> 00:09:33,385
Why did I agree to this?
161
00:09:33,486 --> 00:09:35,716
I write about sex, not love.
What do I know?
162
00:09:35,788 --> 00:09:37,278
I might have to get married.
163
00:09:37,390 --> 00:09:38,379
What?
164
00:09:38,458 --> 00:09:40,255
The guy I picked up at Miranda's...
165
00:09:40,326 --> 00:09:43,159
If you're engaged,
I'm selling the apartment.
166
00:09:43,396 --> 00:09:44,385
Hardly.
167
00:09:44,864 --> 00:09:47,094
We went back to my place.
168
00:09:49,335 --> 00:09:52,099
Tug my hair!
169
00:09:52,538 --> 00:09:56,269
It all seemed so familiar.
She was having a d�j� fuck.
170
00:09:56,376 --> 00:09:57,365
What's wrong?
171
00:09:57,877 --> 00:09:59,401
I've slept with you before.
172
00:09:59,512 --> 00:10:00,945
Yeah, like 15 years ago.
173
00:10:01,514 --> 00:10:03,505
Why the hell didn't you say something?
174
00:10:03,683 --> 00:10:06,550
I thought you were playing
the sexy stranger game.
175
00:10:06,686 --> 00:10:08,176
It was like a reunion.
176
00:10:08,288 --> 00:10:11,314
How could you forget
someone you slept with?
177
00:10:11,424 --> 00:10:13,688
Toto, we're not in single digits anymore.
178
00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:17,696
It's not like you shared a cab with this guy.
You slept with him.
179
00:10:17,764 --> 00:10:21,200
- Maybe we did it in a cab.
- I'd like to forget some I've slept with.
180
00:10:21,367 --> 00:10:22,732
I keep a list.
181
00:10:22,902 --> 00:10:24,529
How sweet, "Men to Do Today".
182
00:10:24,704 --> 00:10:26,934
I'm officially out of men to fuck.
183
00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:28,735
I have to get married or move.
184
00:10:28,808 --> 00:10:31,299
That's lovely. Can I use that in my poem?
185
00:10:31,711 --> 00:10:32,700
It's yours.
186
00:10:32,879 --> 00:10:34,938
Wait till you see my bridesmaid's dress.
187
00:10:35,081 --> 00:10:36,070
Is it hideous?
188
00:10:36,182 --> 00:10:37,672
No, we got to pick our own.
189
00:10:38,084 --> 00:10:40,985
It's this amazing backless black satin.
190
00:10:41,654 --> 00:10:43,519
Pretty sexy for a bridesmaid.
191
00:10:43,623 --> 00:10:45,818
All Madeline said was, it had to be black!
192
00:10:46,059 --> 00:10:47,617
Calm down.
193
00:10:48,461 --> 00:10:51,988
I've been tasteful and appropriate
at seven other weddings.
194
00:10:52,098 --> 00:10:55,090
I'm always: "Charlotte,
Don't Look at Me, Look at the Bride!"
195
00:10:55,335 --> 00:10:57,769
This time, people are gonna look at me!
196
00:10:57,837 --> 00:11:02,103
For some reason, this whirlwind wedding
was extremely stressful for everyone...
197
00:11:02,241 --> 00:11:04,038
...but the bride and groom.
198
00:11:05,912 --> 00:11:09,348
The next night, I made the mistake
of telling Big about the poem.
199
00:11:09,916 --> 00:11:12,077
"Love, glove, dove"
200
00:11:12,452 --> 00:11:13,749
"Dove" is good.
201
00:11:14,554 --> 00:11:16,021
"Love is like a dove
202
00:11:16,322 --> 00:11:17,789
"Or big fuzzy glove"
203
00:11:18,124 --> 00:11:20,684
Don't use that.
It might be from a greeting card.
204
00:11:20,793 --> 00:11:22,886
- Okay, thanks.
- What?
205
00:11:23,696 --> 00:11:24,720
This is fun.
206
00:11:24,831 --> 00:11:27,698
It's not supposed to be fun.
This is somebody's wedding.
207
00:11:28,134 --> 00:11:29,999
A wedding is serious to some people.
208
00:11:30,303 --> 00:11:32,635
Then "shove" probably won't work.
209
00:11:35,775 --> 00:11:37,367
When is this wedding?
210
00:11:37,643 --> 00:11:39,838
It doesn't matter. You're not going.
211
00:11:40,046 --> 00:11:41,513
Yes, I am.
212
00:11:41,881 --> 00:11:47,444
I wouldn't miss you reciting "Love, glove,
dove" in front of all New York for anything.
213
00:11:56,295 --> 00:11:59,958
Things with Big were good.
He was going with me to a wedding.
214
00:12:03,936 --> 00:12:06,803
Can I just say, "Wow."
215
00:12:09,075 --> 00:12:10,565
I need a few minutes.
216
00:12:10,777 --> 00:12:13,041
I left the card here for you to sign.
217
00:12:14,147 --> 00:12:16,377
I don't need to sign. They're your friends.
218
00:12:16,449 --> 00:12:19,543
They're not my friends
and your name's on the invitation, too.
219
00:12:19,652 --> 00:12:21,142
- Really?
- Yes.
220
00:12:21,354 --> 00:12:25,415
It was my first time to get something
other than, "Carrie Bradshaw and Guest."
221
00:12:26,059 --> 00:12:27,390
How'd they get my name?
222
00:12:29,529 --> 00:12:32,930
I don't know.
Madeline must've asked Charlotte.
223
00:12:33,566 --> 00:12:36,694
Whatever, if you don't want to sign
it's not a big deal.
224
00:12:47,046 --> 00:12:49,378
Would you like to sign the guest book?
225
00:12:49,849 --> 00:12:52,181
Would you like to sign the guest book?
226
00:12:52,318 --> 00:12:54,752
Would you like to sign the guest book?
227
00:12:54,854 --> 00:12:57,414
At least we get to see who's arriving alone.
228
00:12:57,523 --> 00:13:00,583
Samantha could always be counted on
to take life's lemons...
229
00:13:00,693 --> 00:13:02,854
...and make them into Spanish fly.
230
00:13:03,029 --> 00:13:06,988
- Do you know where the gifts go?
- Excuse me, I'm not the gift person.
231
00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:08,861
That's another "b" list friend.
232
00:13:08,935 --> 00:13:10,960
Christ! My rerun's here.
233
00:13:11,370 --> 00:13:13,804
Of course,
you met him at the engagement party.
234
00:13:13,973 --> 00:13:16,271
I have to start writing things down.
235
00:13:16,776 --> 00:13:19,540
I also have to start drinking heavily.
236
00:13:20,813 --> 00:13:22,371
Where's Big?
237
00:13:22,849 --> 00:13:24,976
Inside, looking bored.
238
00:13:25,051 --> 00:13:26,575
That's my look.
239
00:13:26,853 --> 00:13:29,879
Should I be bothered by the fact
he wouldn't sign the card?
240
00:13:30,022 --> 00:13:32,684
I'm glad I didn't ask him
to sign the guest book.
241
00:13:32,825 --> 00:13:35,453
That would've put him over the edge.
242
00:13:36,696 --> 00:13:40,427
Charlotte wasn't kidding about the dress.
It was hard not to notice her.
243
00:13:40,500 --> 00:13:41,694
Look at you!
244
00:13:41,767 --> 00:13:44,258
You look amazing.
245
00:13:45,238 --> 00:13:46,865
My gosh, I am so late.
246
00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:49,174
Are you with the bride or the groom?
247
00:13:49,575 --> 00:13:50,940
I'm a bridesmaid.
248
00:13:51,043 --> 00:13:52,840
- Are you Charlotte?
- Yes.
249
00:13:53,045 --> 00:13:55,377
I'm Martin,
I'll be walking you down the aisle.
250
00:13:55,481 --> 00:13:58,917
All her life, Charlotte had imagined
doing exactly that...
251
00:13:59,018 --> 00:14:00,986
...with someone like Martin.
252
00:14:02,321 --> 00:14:04,949
I'll show you where you're supposed to be.
253
00:14:05,658 --> 00:14:07,558
Are you seeing this?
254
00:14:07,627 --> 00:14:10,152
I've been here half an hour.
He never looked at me.
255
00:14:10,396 --> 00:14:14,025
While Miranda was feeling invisible,
I was feeling far too visible.
256
00:14:14,333 --> 00:14:15,698
I'm in the program?
257
00:14:15,768 --> 00:14:18,896
- I barely know the bride and groom.
- They barely know each other.
258
00:14:18,971 --> 00:14:21,098
I'm between the vows and the fish course.
259
00:14:21,274 --> 00:14:24,641
Am I in there? Of course not.
260
00:14:25,011 --> 00:14:26,672
I better find Big.
261
00:14:26,746 --> 00:14:27,940
I'm coming with you.
262
00:14:28,014 --> 00:14:30,073
Can you leave the guest book unattended?
263
00:14:30,149 --> 00:14:31,810
It's a bullshit job.
264
00:14:31,884 --> 00:14:33,909
People know what to do.
265
00:14:34,086 --> 00:14:36,953
The ceremony was short and sweet,
just like the engagement.
266
00:14:37,056 --> 00:14:39,251
Please welcome our newlyweds...
267
00:14:39,325 --> 00:14:41,259
...Mr. Jeremy Fields...
268
00:14:41,427 --> 00:14:44,760
...and Mrs. Madeline Dunn Fields.
269
00:14:59,011 --> 00:15:00,308
It's amazing.
270
00:15:00,479 --> 00:15:04,643
It took her months to find an end table, she
plans a wedding at the Plaza in four weeks.
271
00:15:04,917 --> 00:15:08,683
Five bucks says that your end table
will last longer than her marriage.
272
00:15:17,430 --> 00:15:20,695
People have said a lot of nice things
about Jeremy...
273
00:15:20,766 --> 00:15:23,929
...and I'm here to make a rebuttal.
274
00:15:24,503 --> 00:15:29,133
- Seriously, I've known Jeremy a long time...
- Which is more than the bride could say.
275
00:15:29,375 --> 00:15:30,808
I'm happy for you both.
276
00:15:30,910 --> 00:15:34,846
I only hope that someday
I can have what you two have...
277
00:15:35,281 --> 00:15:39,342
...8,000 little napkins
with my name on them...
278
00:15:39,418 --> 00:15:42,910
...and, of course, someone to love.
279
00:15:43,189 --> 00:15:44,178
Cheers.
280
00:15:49,729 --> 00:15:51,253
Thank you.
281
00:15:52,465 --> 00:15:54,899
Now we have a very special treat.
282
00:15:55,368 --> 00:15:58,132
One of my favorite writers,
Carrie Bradshaw...
283
00:15:58,204 --> 00:16:01,833
...has agreed to share a poem
that she wrote for the occasion.
284
00:16:04,677 --> 00:16:06,110
Shit.
285
00:16:12,485 --> 00:16:16,421
As I made my way to the microphone,
I could only think of one thing...
286
00:16:16,589 --> 00:16:18,181
Dead Woman Walking.
287
00:16:31,604 --> 00:16:35,335
"His hello was the end of her endings
288
00:16:35,941 --> 00:16:39,240
"Her laugh was their first step
down the aisle
289
00:16:40,112 --> 00:16:44,105
"His hand would be hers to hold forever
290
00:16:45,184 --> 00:16:48,585
"His forever was as simple as her smile"
291
00:16:51,157 --> 00:16:53,091
Suddenly, it hit me.
292
00:16:53,225 --> 00:16:55,853
Two people were committing
to a life together...
293
00:16:56,028 --> 00:16:59,054
...and I couldn't even get a guy
to be on a card with me.
294
00:17:03,202 --> 00:17:06,797
"He said she was what was missing
295
00:17:07,340 --> 00:17:10,002
"She said instantly she knew
296
00:17:11,210 --> 00:17:13,735
"She was a question to be answered
297
00:17:17,016 --> 00:17:18,244
"And
298
00:17:18,718 --> 00:17:21,118
"His answer was, 'I do"'
299
00:17:21,921 --> 00:17:24,412
I had no choice
but to embrace the moment...
300
00:17:24,523 --> 00:17:26,491
...and try to pass off my tears...
301
00:17:26,625 --> 00:17:29,253
...as tears of joy for the happy couple.
302
00:17:38,070 --> 00:17:39,469
Can I have the dressing?
303
00:17:39,538 --> 00:17:41,438
I want three or four kids, too.
304
00:17:41,674 --> 00:17:43,699
Where to you stand on dog vs. Cat?
305
00:17:46,812 --> 00:17:49,940
You know, I think this should be our song.
306
00:17:50,015 --> 00:17:51,448
We should dance to it.
307
00:17:54,887 --> 00:17:57,685
What, are they on
the Evelyn Wood plan, too?
308
00:17:58,157 --> 00:17:59,283
Sorry.
309
00:17:59,458 --> 00:18:02,393
I had to take a call. Did I miss anything?
310
00:18:02,628 --> 00:18:05,927
You missed my poem
and most of the reception.
311
00:18:06,432 --> 00:18:09,629
There's nothing like a slow dance
to make you forgive and forget.
312
00:18:09,935 --> 00:18:12,130
I hate to dance when people are eating.
313
00:18:13,939 --> 00:18:16,601
I'll be at the bar where people are drinking.
314
00:18:17,610 --> 00:18:19,043
Say hello to my date.
315
00:18:25,084 --> 00:18:27,575
I think I know you from somewhere.
316
00:18:27,653 --> 00:18:29,621
It's very possible we fucked.
317
00:18:29,722 --> 00:18:32,452
No, I think I know you from college.
318
00:18:32,858 --> 00:18:34,917
Then, we probably fucked in college.
319
00:18:37,997 --> 00:18:39,965
Another Cosmopolitan, please.
320
00:18:40,032 --> 00:18:41,829
And a Scotch straight up.
321
00:18:42,101 --> 00:18:45,161
It's the famous poet, Carrie Bradshaw.
322
00:18:45,237 --> 00:18:46,898
Can we not talk about the poem?
323
00:18:47,173 --> 00:18:49,334
It was perfect.
324
00:18:49,809 --> 00:18:52,243
Except the crying. What was that about?
325
00:18:53,179 --> 00:18:55,272
Big took a call during my poem.
326
00:18:55,448 --> 00:18:58,713
It's not important to him.
Nothing is important to him.
327
00:18:58,918 --> 00:19:03,150
Guess what? The Guest Book Person
is also the Put the Gifts in the Van Person.
328
00:19:03,489 --> 00:19:05,855
Do you want to help,
or should I go outside...
329
00:19:05,925 --> 00:19:08,758
...and wait for someone else not to see me
so I can end it?
330
00:19:08,828 --> 00:19:11,160
I'll help.
What street do you want to stand in?
331
00:19:17,736 --> 00:19:20,364
If they get married within a month,
I'm not going.
332
00:19:21,173 --> 00:19:23,164
Careful, that's from me.
333
00:19:23,242 --> 00:19:24,834
What are you giving them?
334
00:19:24,944 --> 00:19:26,707
The dancing frogs.
335
00:19:32,017 --> 00:19:35,885
Even while on the verge of breaking
the land speed record for relationships...
336
00:19:36,021 --> 00:19:38,854
...Charlotte took her duties
as bridesmaid very seriously.
337
00:19:40,693 --> 00:19:42,092
Isn't it beautiful?
338
00:19:42,161 --> 00:19:43,389
How do we do this?
339
00:19:43,529 --> 00:19:48,694
We just throw Silly String around and
write funny things on the mirror in lipstick.
340
00:19:48,801 --> 00:19:52,794
Some people throw condoms on the bed,
but I prefer rose petals.
341
00:19:54,106 --> 00:19:56,233
I would love to wake up in rose petals.
342
00:20:00,112 --> 00:20:01,977
It was all so romantic.
343
00:20:02,081 --> 00:20:04,641
The bed, the rose petals...
344
00:20:04,984 --> 00:20:06,178
...the bed...
345
00:20:11,323 --> 00:20:13,291
Technically, it wasn't a third date...
346
00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:16,123
...but they'd already had dinner
and been dancing.
347
00:20:17,730 --> 00:20:21,097
Twenty minutes later, Charlotte worried
she'd made a rookie mistake...
348
00:20:21,166 --> 00:20:23,532
...by sleeping with a man she might marry.
349
00:20:24,136 --> 00:20:26,036
But something wonderful happened.
350
00:20:26,639 --> 00:20:28,732
I want to introduce you to my parents.
351
00:20:28,807 --> 00:20:31,742
Meeting the parents...
Charlotte was back on schedule.
352
00:20:31,844 --> 00:20:35,109
Did you see us?
We've been dancing up a storm.
353
00:20:37,550 --> 00:20:41,452
- Would you like a free lesson?
- My dad considers himself quite a dancer.
354
00:20:41,587 --> 00:20:43,020
That would be great.
355
00:20:46,659 --> 00:20:48,126
Is she the one?
356
00:20:49,628 --> 00:20:51,027
You're a beautiful dancer.
357
00:20:51,163 --> 00:20:52,323
Thank you.
358
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:02,701
May I cut in?
359
00:21:02,775 --> 00:21:04,072
If you must.
360
00:21:07,413 --> 00:21:08,710
Isn't he something?
361
00:21:08,781 --> 00:21:10,043
He's very smart.
362
00:21:10,115 --> 00:21:12,049
He's pretty much my role model.
363
00:21:12,117 --> 00:21:14,585
He used to take me
to his office when I was little.
364
00:21:14,653 --> 00:21:16,177
Your father just felt me up.
365
00:21:16,355 --> 00:21:19,017
- What?
- We were dancing and he put his hand...
366
00:21:19,124 --> 00:21:22,093
My parents have been married for 50 years.
367
00:21:22,595 --> 00:21:27,157
My dad would not cop a feel just because
some girl is wearing a slutty dress.
368
00:21:27,499 --> 00:21:31,492
Suddenly, it was clear to Charlotte
that Martin wouldn't take her side now...
369
00:21:31,570 --> 00:21:34,562
...or after three or four kids, or ever.
370
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:38,007
Did the last four and a half hours
mean nothing to you?
371
00:21:42,047 --> 00:21:46,507
- The chicken dance.
- Darn, we missed the chicken dance.
372
00:21:46,986 --> 00:21:49,352
Excuse me, have you seen my date?
373
00:21:49,555 --> 00:21:53,457
I'm sorry, I had to help Miranda
put the gifts into the van.
374
00:21:57,162 --> 00:21:58,857
Are you ready to go?
375
00:21:59,264 --> 00:22:00,959
Have they even cut the cake yet?
376
00:22:01,033 --> 00:22:03,627
I don't know,
but I can tell you how it turns out.
377
00:22:04,870 --> 00:22:06,531
If you want to go, go.
378
00:22:10,275 --> 00:22:11,401
What's wrong?
379
00:22:11,810 --> 00:22:13,607
You wouldn't even sign the card.
380
00:22:16,048 --> 00:22:17,379
The card.
381
00:22:19,051 --> 00:22:21,884
I'm afraid we don't want the same things.
382
00:22:24,089 --> 00:22:25,784
Things like cake?
383
00:22:26,725 --> 00:22:31,059
I want someone
who's going to be with me until the end...
384
00:22:32,665 --> 00:22:33,859
...of a wedding.
385
00:22:39,238 --> 00:22:40,364
I'll stay.
386
00:22:41,140 --> 00:22:42,266
You will?
387
00:22:42,941 --> 00:22:43,965
Yes.
388
00:22:44,143 --> 00:22:45,770
Single ladies!
389
00:22:46,311 --> 00:22:48,745
It's time for the tossing of the bouquet.
390
00:22:49,081 --> 00:22:50,878
Isn't the bouquet toss at the end?
391
00:22:51,050 --> 00:22:53,211
Congratulations, you lucked out.
392
00:22:53,419 --> 00:22:56,445
Get us some cake.
I want to say goodbye to my friends.
393
00:23:00,225 --> 00:23:02,693
- Big moment.
- Big and I are leaving.
394
00:23:02,795 --> 00:23:05,696
He's crossed his pain threshold
and he's carrying me along.
395
00:23:05,998 --> 00:23:07,898
Everybody ready?
396
00:23:09,101 --> 00:23:12,070
One, two, three.
397
00:23:20,345 --> 00:23:21,812
See you tomorrow.
398
00:23:24,550 --> 00:23:26,643
Let's get your coats.
399
00:23:29,655 --> 00:23:32,351
Some people know
they're meant to be together.
400
00:23:32,524 --> 00:23:36,255
I knew I was meant to go home
and have cake in bed with Big.
401
00:23:37,863 --> 00:23:40,627
Maybe we're more the fuzzy glove types.
402
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:57,000
Translation And Subtitles By
Captions, Inc. Los Angeles
403
00:24:07,000 --> 00:25:09,000
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