Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
0
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:08,000
Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked)
by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew
1
00:00:47,003 --> 00:00:48,595
Let's be honest.
2
00:00:48,672 --> 00:00:53,439
Sometimes there is nothing harder in
life than being happy for somebody else.
3
00:00:53,510 --> 00:00:58,709
Like lottery winners or extremely
successful people who are 27.
4
00:00:59,883 --> 00:01:01,544
Then there's that hell on Earth...
5
00:01:01,618 --> 00:01:04,416
that only your closest friends
can inflict on you...
6
00:01:06,623 --> 00:01:08,853
the baby shower.
7
00:01:08,925 --> 00:01:12,452
You could not drag me to that thing
if you put a grappling hook in my mouth.
8
00:01:12,529 --> 00:01:16,795
I think it's sad the way she's using
a child to validate her existence.
9
00:01:16,866 --> 00:01:20,700
Exactly. Why can't she just use sex
and a nice cocktail like the rest of us?
10
00:01:20,770 --> 00:01:22,499
I'm happy for her.
11
00:01:22,572 --> 00:01:26,838
If I see another crepe paper stork,
I'm gonna rip its cardboard beak off.
12
00:01:26,910 --> 00:01:29,572
Can I ask you,
would any baby shower bother you...
13
00:01:29,646 --> 00:01:33,241
or is this one worse
because it's Laney's?
14
00:01:39,823 --> 00:01:42,314
Laney Berlin.
You can't really describe her.
15
00:01:42,392 --> 00:01:44,485
You just had to know her.
16
00:01:45,996 --> 00:01:48,658
Chances are eight years ago
you probably did.
17
00:01:50,433 --> 00:01:54,426
So help me,
she fucks on my couch, she buys it.
18
00:01:54,504 --> 00:01:56,938
Isn't that how
you got the couch from me?
19
00:01:57,007 --> 00:01:58,941
Laney, show us your tits!
20
00:01:59,009 --> 00:02:02,274
Give it a rest!
You guys have seen enough of my tits.
21
00:02:04,047 --> 00:02:05,605
Tits! Tits! Tits!
22
00:02:07,617 --> 00:02:09,983
Laney did A&R for a record label...
23
00:02:10,053 --> 00:02:13,284
or, as she used to call it,
sex with an expense account.
24
00:02:13,356 --> 00:02:17,452
Every time she went on a scouting trip,
she came back with some hot new group...
25
00:02:17,527 --> 00:02:20,792
and a gynecological condition
no one had ever heard of.
26
00:02:20,864 --> 00:02:24,800
Those things make so many public
appearances, they need a booking agent.
27
00:02:28,638 --> 00:02:32,335
Look at her, the poster girl
for low self-esteem.
28
00:02:32,409 --> 00:02:35,344
I have low self-esteem,
but I express it the healthy way...
29
00:02:35,412 --> 00:02:37,573
by eating a box
of Double Stuff Oreos.
30
00:02:37,647 --> 00:02:38,978
She's so sad.
31
00:02:41,351 --> 00:02:42,909
Take it off!
32
00:02:44,220 --> 00:02:48,179
Samantha and Laney had
a long-standing rivalry.
33
00:02:48,258 --> 00:02:50,920
Both wild, both sexy...
34
00:02:50,994 --> 00:02:53,292
both incredibly insecure.
35
00:02:53,363 --> 00:02:58,027
Two years ago, Laney did
the most shocking thing of all.
36
00:02:58,101 --> 00:03:00,661
She met a Wall Street
investment banker, married him...
37
00:03:00,737 --> 00:03:02,568
and moved to Connecticut.
38
00:03:02,639 --> 00:03:04,869
That wasn't supposed to happen.
39
00:03:04,941 --> 00:03:07,933
She was supposed to have sex
with Sid Vicious and move to heroin.
40
00:03:10,113 --> 00:03:13,344
It'll be fun. We've never even been
to visit her in Connecticut.
41
00:03:13,416 --> 00:03:15,441
Exactly.
There's a reason for that.
42
00:03:15,518 --> 00:03:17,486
- Lyme disease?
- That's another good one.
43
00:03:17,554 --> 00:03:20,421
- It's a baby shower.
- No, it's a cult.
44
00:03:20,490 --> 00:03:23,357
- A cult? What are you talking about?
- Listen.
45
00:03:23,426 --> 00:03:25,860
They all think the same,
dress the same...
46
00:03:25,929 --> 00:03:29,023
and sacrifice themselves
to the same cause... babies.
47
00:03:29,099 --> 00:03:30,361
She's insane.
48
00:03:30,433 --> 00:03:34,836
I've lost two sisters to the motherhood.
I know what I'm talking about.
49
00:03:34,904 --> 00:03:37,395
We should go.
It's the right thing to do.
50
00:03:37,474 --> 00:03:38,907
Give me one reason.
51
00:03:38,975 --> 00:03:42,502
Okay. You're driving down the road.
You see a sign.
52
00:03:42,579 --> 00:03:45,275
It says "two-headed snake."
You pull over.
53
00:03:45,348 --> 00:03:48,044
Wild Laney is having a baby shower.
You pull over.
54
00:03:48,118 --> 00:03:50,916
She's got a point.
It's the right thing to do.
55
00:03:51,988 --> 00:03:55,048
Just imagine how fat she must be.
56
00:03:55,125 --> 00:03:59,653
As I penciled in the date,
I noticed something missing.
57
00:03:59,729 --> 00:04:03,165
In between the Versace show
and dinner at Moomba...
58
00:04:03,233 --> 00:04:05,030
there it wasn't...
59
00:04:05,101 --> 00:04:07,160
my period, four days late.
60
00:04:08,605 --> 00:04:11,574
That Saturday,
also known as "Seven Days Late"...
61
00:04:11,641 --> 00:04:14,735
four city girls set off
to visit the country mice.
62
00:04:14,811 --> 00:04:16,904
Are we there yet?
63
00:04:19,149 --> 00:04:22,585
I've already had two of these,
so we're gonna be stopping a lot.
64
00:04:22,652 --> 00:04:26,520
Hey, nice outfit. Is there gonna be
belly dancing at the shower?
65
00:04:26,589 --> 00:04:28,614
Right after the gifts.
66
00:04:28,691 --> 00:04:31,854
Shit! I spaced.
I forgot to buy her a present.
67
00:04:33,062 --> 00:04:35,826
How tacky is it to give
the mother-to-be a fistful of cash?
68
00:04:35,899 --> 00:04:39,062
Don't worry about it.
You can go in on mine.
69
00:04:39,135 --> 00:04:41,933
You bought a pregnant woman
a bottle of Scotch?
70
00:04:42,005 --> 00:04:43,939
The invitation said BYOB.
71
00:04:44,007 --> 00:04:46,168
That meant "bring your own baby."
72
00:04:46,242 --> 00:04:48,472
- What did you get her?
- Condoms.
73
00:04:48,545 --> 00:04:53,278
- Seriously, what did you get her?
- Seriously. They're pastel.
74
00:04:53,349 --> 00:04:55,510
Hey, guys! Wait, wait!
75
00:04:55,585 --> 00:04:58,019
Hey, guys, wait for me!
76
00:04:58,087 --> 00:05:01,386
Oh, my God!
Look at the size of that thing.
77
00:05:01,458 --> 00:05:04,689
- We could drive that to Connecticut.
- I'm putting my name on that card.
78
00:05:04,761 --> 00:05:07,628
All right.
Go, go, go, go.
79
00:05:12,569 --> 00:05:14,628
Does anybody know how to drive?
80
00:05:20,043 --> 00:05:23,308
As I turned the midsize coupe
onto Hollyhock Lane...
81
00:05:23,379 --> 00:05:26,314
I was struck by how a place
so filled with nature...
82
00:05:26,382 --> 00:05:29,408
could look so unnatural.
83
00:05:37,660 --> 00:05:41,323
Oh, Toto, I don't think
we're in Manhattan anymore.
84
00:05:42,999 --> 00:05:45,433
Her house is beautiful!
85
00:05:45,502 --> 00:05:48,300
Oh, and look at her dog!
86
00:05:48,371 --> 00:05:50,771
Hey, boy!
Come here, boy!
87
00:05:50,840 --> 00:05:52,467
Come on, boy!
88
00:05:57,413 --> 00:05:59,176
Why didn't he come?
89
00:05:59,249 --> 00:06:01,012
Invisible electric fencing.
90
00:06:01,084 --> 00:06:03,678
It's the latest thing.
My sister has it.
91
00:06:05,588 --> 00:06:07,453
Ready, girls?
92
00:06:07,524 --> 00:06:08,957
Let's go.
93
00:06:14,264 --> 00:06:16,698
Charlotte sweetie,
don't forget our gift.
94
00:06:30,079 --> 00:06:32,639
- Look at you! You're huge!
- I know.
95
00:06:32,715 --> 00:06:35,684
Isn't it great?
I can eat anything I want. Jealous?
96
00:06:36,452 --> 00:06:38,283
Come on in. Come in.
97
00:06:39,689 --> 00:06:42,817
Brigid, Roxanne, these are
my friends from the city.
98
00:06:42,892 --> 00:06:44,826
We didn't think you'd make it.
99
00:06:44,894 --> 00:06:47,362
We got lost.
We took the wrong bridge.
100
00:06:47,430 --> 00:06:50,228
Remember that feeling,
like if you left Manhattan...
101
00:06:50,300 --> 00:06:51,995
you'd fall off
the edge of the earth?
102
00:06:52,068 --> 00:06:54,298
Oh, God, don't remind me.
103
00:06:55,238 --> 00:06:59,504
Oh, my God!
It's the Bellini baby basket!
104
00:06:59,576 --> 00:07:01,339
Oh, look, everybody!
105
00:07:01,411 --> 00:07:04,380
It's the Bellini baby basket!
106
00:07:04,447 --> 00:07:08,645
Speaking of Bellinis,
I'm gonna have a big drink.
107
00:07:08,718 --> 00:07:10,151
Jealous?
108
00:07:11,788 --> 00:07:15,053
Is she still barhopping
and bed-hopping?
109
00:07:15,124 --> 00:07:17,786
It's so sad
when that's all you have.
110
00:07:18,861 --> 00:07:20,886
Okay, this is Rebecca...
111
00:07:21,965 --> 00:07:23,728
- Susan...
- Hello.
112
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,199
Mindy.
113
00:07:25,268 --> 00:07:27,862
Don't get up.
She's doing in vitro.
114
00:07:27,937 --> 00:07:31,031
She's not supposed to move at all.
115
00:07:31,107 --> 00:07:33,007
That's Betsy and her boy Harry.
116
00:07:33,076 --> 00:07:35,010
They're inseparable.
They do everything together.
117
00:07:35,078 --> 00:07:37,444
We call them
our old married couple.
118
00:07:37,513 --> 00:07:40,949
Except it's not that funny since Betsy
and her husband are getting divorced.
119
00:07:41,017 --> 00:07:42,951
Laney, we need you!
120
00:07:44,454 --> 00:07:49,289
So all I have to do to meet
the ideal man is give birth to him.
121
00:07:49,359 --> 00:07:52,453
I love my son.
Andy is 11 months old.
122
00:07:52,528 --> 00:07:55,725
He is a god,
and I tell him so every day.
123
00:07:58,534 --> 00:08:01,367
Thirty years from now,
what do you think the chances are...
124
00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:04,463
that some woman's gonna be able
to make Andy happy?
125
00:08:04,540 --> 00:08:06,303
I'm gonna go with zero.
126
00:08:10,213 --> 00:08:12,681
Oh, it's adorable!
127
00:08:12,749 --> 00:08:14,410
Look at that Charlotte.
128
00:08:14,484 --> 00:08:17,248
I wish they made this in my size.
129
00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:19,754
I told you, it's a cult.
We can't separate.
130
00:08:19,822 --> 00:08:22,290
Once they isolate you from the herd,
it's all over.
131
00:08:23,192 --> 00:08:25,786
As I watched Laney
tear open a baby bib...
132
00:08:25,862 --> 00:08:27,796
with the same enthusiasm
she once reserved...
133
00:08:27,864 --> 00:08:29,923
for tearing off rock stars' pants...
134
00:08:29,999 --> 00:08:32,490
I couldn't help but wonder...
135
00:08:32,568 --> 00:08:34,559
"Was I next?"
136
00:08:36,873 --> 00:08:39,137
You know what?
I have to pee.
137
00:08:39,208 --> 00:08:42,575
If you're not back in five minutes,
I'm coming after you.
138
00:08:45,915 --> 00:08:48,884
The truth is,
I needed to escape.
139
00:08:48,951 --> 00:08:51,511
The party had turned
into a preview...
140
00:08:51,587 --> 00:08:54,522
a preview of a life
I didn't know if I was ready for.
141
00:09:00,997 --> 00:09:05,093
Even seven months pregnant,
Laney couldn't keep her clothes on.
142
00:09:05,168 --> 00:09:08,399
Clearly, a part of the old Laney
had survived.
143
00:09:08,471 --> 00:09:10,939
But I wondered,
what was still buried...
144
00:09:11,007 --> 00:09:13,601
deep inside the mommies downstairs?
145
00:09:13,676 --> 00:09:17,271
Before I married my husband,
I slept around with everybody.
146
00:09:17,346 --> 00:09:20,440
Now I have an Internet lover.
147
00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:22,108
No one knows.
148
00:09:23,686 --> 00:09:28,123
When I was senior vice president,
212 people reported to me daily.
149
00:09:28,191 --> 00:09:30,455
Now I just yell at the gardener...
150
00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:32,721
who doesn't understand
a single word.
151
00:09:34,397 --> 00:09:37,696
I'm exactly the same.
I love my life.
152
00:09:37,767 --> 00:09:42,136
But every now and then,
I can't help but think about...
153
00:09:42,205 --> 00:09:43,866
Lisa.
154
00:09:43,940 --> 00:09:47,637
Sometimes I climb up
into the kids' tree house...
155
00:09:47,710 --> 00:09:51,373
with my Walkman,
light up a joint...
156
00:09:51,447 --> 00:09:53,415
and listen to Peter Frampton.
157
00:10:08,664 --> 00:10:12,259
There's a woman in there breast-feeding
a child who can chew steak.
158
00:10:12,335 --> 00:10:14,769
You know how I feel about that?
159
00:10:14,837 --> 00:10:18,273
If you can ask for it,
you're probably too old to have it.
160
00:10:18,341 --> 00:10:20,002
Jeremy, no!
161
00:10:21,310 --> 00:10:23,005
I just realized...
162
00:10:23,079 --> 00:10:26,014
maybe it's maturity
or the wisdom that comes with age...
163
00:10:26,082 --> 00:10:30,576
but the witch in H๏ฟฝnsel and Gretel,
she's very misunderstood.
164
00:10:30,653 --> 00:10:33,622
I mean, the woman builds
her dream house...
165
00:10:33,689 --> 00:10:37,284
and these brats come along
and start eating it.
166
00:10:39,762 --> 00:10:42,754
I just have to tell you
your home is beautiful.
167
00:10:42,832 --> 00:10:46,268
Thank you.
I know it's a big change.
168
00:10:46,335 --> 00:10:49,600
But at some point,
you have to settle down.
169
00:10:49,672 --> 00:10:52,163
I mean, life is not
a Jacqueline Susann novel...
170
00:10:52,241 --> 00:10:55,540
four friends looking
for life and love in the big city.
171
00:10:57,847 --> 00:11:01,715
Stop it! You are not going
to clean up at your own shower.
172
00:11:01,784 --> 00:11:06,483
Relax, 'cause once Todd or Shayla comes
around, you'll never stop cleaning up.
173
00:11:06,556 --> 00:11:08,524
Shayla? Did you say Shayla?
174
00:11:08,591 --> 00:11:11,890
- It's so unique, isn't it?
- It's so my name!
175
00:11:13,329 --> 00:11:15,797
- I thought your name was Charlotte.
- No, it's not my name.
176
00:11:15,865 --> 00:11:18,163
It's my name,
my secret baby name...
177
00:11:18,234 --> 00:11:21,795
that I made up when I was 11
for my daughter when I had her.
178
00:11:21,871 --> 00:11:24,897
I told you.
Don't tell me you don't remember.
179
00:11:24,974 --> 00:11:27,238
I'm sorry,
I really don't.
180
00:11:27,310 --> 00:11:30,905
A complete lie. She remembered.
We all remembered.
181
00:11:30,980 --> 00:11:34,040
Charlotte had made us all swear
never to use it.
182
00:11:34,116 --> 00:11:38,780
- My husband heard it somewhere else.
- Really? Where? I didn't tell him.
183
00:11:38,855 --> 00:11:42,120
I can't believe
you're freaking out over a name.
184
00:11:42,191 --> 00:11:45,024
- You're not even pregnant.
- That's not the point!
185
00:11:45,094 --> 00:11:47,892
- What's going on?
- She stole my baby name.
186
00:11:47,964 --> 00:11:49,795
You bitch!
187
00:11:51,234 --> 00:11:53,566
Let's go.
188
00:11:58,941 --> 00:12:02,035
Beers and bar nuts
at Flanagan's off Route Five...
189
00:12:02,111 --> 00:12:05,706
were the perfect antidote
to Laney's House of Humiliation.
190
00:12:05,781 --> 00:12:09,945
If I hadn't waited this long to have
a baby, that name would be mine.
191
00:12:10,019 --> 00:12:13,955
Come on. You're still young. You have
plenty of time to have children.
192
00:12:14,023 --> 00:12:15,456
No, I don't.
193
00:12:15,524 --> 00:12:19,187
I don't want to be
one of those 40-year-old moms.
194
00:12:19,262 --> 00:12:22,959
- No offense.
- I don't want to be one of them either.
195
00:12:23,032 --> 00:12:26,399
There are no frozen eggs
in my freezer.
196
00:12:26,469 --> 00:12:28,334
Was the bathroom clean?
197
00:12:28,404 --> 00:12:30,395
What do you think?
198
00:12:30,473 --> 00:12:34,807
This is why I hate baby showers.
You always leave feeling depressed.
199
00:12:34,877 --> 00:12:37,072
Paddy, another round.
200
00:12:37,146 --> 00:12:39,512
Well, I, for one, love my life.
201
00:12:39,582 --> 00:12:43,143
And I will not be made to feel
inadequate by all this baby talk.
202
00:12:44,220 --> 00:12:46,814
I spoke to a woman
with a master's in finance.
203
00:12:46,889 --> 00:12:49,824
All she wanted to talk about
was her Diaper Genie.
204
00:12:49,892 --> 00:12:51,826
It doesn't have to be like that.
205
00:12:51,894 --> 00:12:54,260
You don't have to lose yourself
to have a kid.
206
00:12:54,330 --> 00:12:56,924
I know plenty
of cool, hip mothers...
207
00:12:56,999 --> 00:13:01,197
who live in the city and still have
great careers and stuff.
208
00:13:01,270 --> 00:13:02,703
Who?
209
00:13:03,940 --> 00:13:06,272
I'm late.
I missed my period.
210
00:13:06,342 --> 00:13:08,936
Paddy, honey,
where are those beers?
211
00:13:09,011 --> 00:13:10,444
How late?
212
00:13:10,513 --> 00:13:13,949
I don't know, just a few...
Seven days.
213
00:13:14,016 --> 00:13:16,610
Oh, honey, gray area.
214
00:13:16,686 --> 00:13:19,120
True, you're in front
of the firing squad...
215
00:13:19,188 --> 00:13:21,179
but you haven't been shot.
216
00:13:21,257 --> 00:13:25,091
- I was once ten days late.
- Really? Were you having sex?
217
00:13:26,595 --> 00:13:28,028
No.
218
00:13:29,398 --> 00:13:32,231
What are you going to do?
You gonna tell Mr. Big?
219
00:13:32,301 --> 00:13:35,737
I am not going to tell him
until I know what l...
220
00:13:35,805 --> 00:13:38,205
till I know how l... what...
221
00:13:39,675 --> 00:13:42,872
No, I am not going to tell him...
222
00:13:42,945 --> 00:13:45,641
until I know how to finish
this sentence.
223
00:13:48,551 --> 00:13:50,712
- What did I miss?
- Nothing.
224
00:13:52,888 --> 00:13:55,823
That night, Charlotte
got out her wish box...
225
00:13:55,891 --> 00:13:58,917
where she kept reminders of
all the things she hoped for in life...
226
00:14:00,229 --> 00:14:02,254
a gift for Shayla...
227
00:14:04,867 --> 00:14:07,392
a town house in the city...
228
00:14:07,470 --> 00:14:09,665
a beach house in East Hampton...
229
00:14:12,641 --> 00:14:14,074
her dream man...
230
00:14:18,381 --> 00:14:19,814
her backup dream man.
231
00:14:22,318 --> 00:14:26,311
It's very strange when the life
you never had flashes before your eyes.
232
00:14:27,656 --> 00:14:30,022
Carrie Held Hostage: Day Eight.
233
00:14:30,092 --> 00:14:31,957
Miranda and I went shopping.
234
00:14:32,028 --> 00:14:35,964
I'm on total ovary overload.
Which kind do I get?
235
00:14:36,032 --> 00:14:38,865
Here. This one's on sale,
half off.
236
00:14:38,934 --> 00:14:42,768
Sweetie, I just spent $395 on a pair
of open-toed Gucci's last week.
237
00:14:42,838 --> 00:14:45,432
This is not the place to be frugal.
238
00:14:45,508 --> 00:14:47,271
What about this one?
239
00:14:47,343 --> 00:14:49,004
I remember First Response.
240
00:14:49,078 --> 00:14:52,104
I had a very reassuring moment once
with First Response.
241
00:14:54,016 --> 00:14:55,950
Here's hoping.
242
00:14:58,120 --> 00:14:59,610
What if I am?
243
00:15:00,689 --> 00:15:02,589
If you am, you am.
244
00:15:02,658 --> 00:15:05,627
I don't think I'd be
very good at this.
245
00:15:05,694 --> 00:15:07,958
I mean, am I maternal?
246
00:15:10,266 --> 00:15:14,066
When I was a girl, I left my baby doll
in the rain for four days.
247
00:15:14,136 --> 00:15:16,263
Her face peeled off.
That can't be good.
248
00:15:16,338 --> 00:15:19,239
- But if you...
- I shaved my Barbie's head.
249
00:15:20,042 --> 00:15:23,705
When I was little, I took a rubber band
and put it around my dog's snout.
250
00:15:24,914 --> 00:15:26,848
- What?
- God.
251
00:15:30,820 --> 00:15:33,414
Can you picture it, us with...
252
00:15:33,489 --> 00:15:35,354
Kids?
253
00:15:35,424 --> 00:15:38,416
- Babies.
- I'll probably end up with five.
254
00:15:38,494 --> 00:15:41,827
Five hours
and two packs of gum later...
255
00:15:41,897 --> 00:15:43,865
I decided
I couldn't take the test...
256
00:15:43,933 --> 00:15:47,425
till I knew exactly how I felt
about the results, either way.
257
00:15:54,076 --> 00:15:55,873
- Hello?
- It's Laney.
258
00:15:56,779 --> 00:15:59,942
I just wanted to tell you
it was so great seeing you guys.
259
00:16:00,015 --> 00:16:04,418
I know I was a big bitch, but you
gotta know my hormones are going wild.
260
00:16:04,487 --> 00:16:08,856
The truth is, Laney's hormones
have been going wild since she was ten.
261
00:16:08,924 --> 00:16:12,257
Seeing you made me remember
how much fun we used to have.
262
00:16:12,328 --> 00:16:15,297
We did. It's amazing
how much time has gone by.
263
00:16:15,364 --> 00:16:17,195
Tell me about it.
264
00:16:17,266 --> 00:16:20,030
But I miss us. I really do.
265
00:16:20,102 --> 00:16:23,037
- We should get together more often.
- Mm-hmm.
266
00:16:24,273 --> 00:16:27,367
We should get together,
not just say we're going to...
267
00:16:27,443 --> 00:16:29,377
but really do it.
268
00:16:29,445 --> 00:16:31,970
Absolutely. Listen, I've gotta go.
I'm running late.
269
00:16:32,047 --> 00:16:35,483
- Where are you off to?
- Samantha's having one of her parties.
270
00:16:35,551 --> 00:16:37,143
- She is?
- Yeah.
271
00:16:37,219 --> 00:16:41,155
Oh, man! That's the kind of thing...
I love Samantha's parties.
272
00:16:41,223 --> 00:16:44,750
- Why didn't you tell me?
- Next time. I promise, all right?
273
00:16:44,827 --> 00:16:46,260
Okay, bye.
274
00:16:49,064 --> 00:16:50,895
Faced with her own inadequacies...
275
00:16:50,966 --> 00:16:53,560
Samantha did something
only Samantha could do.
276
00:16:53,636 --> 00:16:55,900
She threw
an l-don't-have-a-baby shower...
277
00:16:55,971 --> 00:16:57,996
to let everyone know
she was fabulous.
278
00:16:58,073 --> 00:16:59,904
Great to see you!
279
00:16:59,975 --> 00:17:02,068
Oh! I don't have a baby!
280
00:17:02,144 --> 00:17:03,771
Everybody drink!
281
00:17:05,014 --> 00:17:09,576
- Are you having fun?
- Yes, but not as much fun as Miranda.
282
00:17:09,652 --> 00:17:12,485
Still convinced that marriage
plus baby equals death...
283
00:17:12,555 --> 00:17:14,318
Miranda chose life...
284
00:17:14,390 --> 00:17:17,052
also known as Ed,
Samantha's accountant.
285
00:17:17,126 --> 00:17:19,594
If she fucks on that couch,
she buys it.
286
00:17:26,468 --> 00:17:29,869
Hey, you guys,
the entertainment has arrived!
287
00:17:32,241 --> 00:17:36,109
- What are you doing here?
- What I do best... partying!
288
00:17:36,178 --> 00:17:38,942
- Maybe we better sit down.
- Fuck no! Where's the bar?
289
00:17:39,014 --> 00:17:42,040
- Somebody get me a drink!
- You think that's a good idea?
290
00:17:42,117 --> 00:17:45,609
Fuck yeah. I'm due any day.
What's one little drink gonna matter?
291
00:17:45,688 --> 00:17:48,623
Maybe it'll help me go into labor.
292
00:17:49,858 --> 00:17:52,952
She gives birth on that couch,
she buys it.
293
00:17:53,028 --> 00:17:55,656
What are you doing here?
What is she doing here?
294
00:17:55,731 --> 00:17:57,596
- I missed you guys.
- Us?
295
00:17:57,666 --> 00:17:59,998
The pathetic, live-for-the-moment
single girls...
296
00:18:00,069 --> 00:18:02,367
who think that life
is a Jacqueline Susann novel?
297
00:18:02,438 --> 00:18:06,306
I'm sure you get asked this
all the time, but what is your problem?
298
00:18:06,375 --> 00:18:10,903
My problem? Just that I had a dream
and you killed it, in a nutshell.
299
00:18:10,980 --> 00:18:14,472
Really? You're lucky, because at least
you know what happened to your dream.
300
00:18:14,550 --> 00:18:17,383
I have absolutely no idea
what happened to mine.
301
00:18:17,453 --> 00:18:19,216
Hi, Laney!
302
00:18:19,288 --> 00:18:22,382
I spent the next hour
keeping Charlotte away from Laney...
303
00:18:22,458 --> 00:18:24,392
and Laney away from the vodka.
304
00:18:24,460 --> 00:18:26,553
Look who came up for air.
305
00:18:26,629 --> 00:18:29,826
He's a good kisser
and he's gonna do my taxes for free.
306
00:18:29,898 --> 00:18:31,923
Excuse me. I'm sorry.
Hey, Carrie.
307
00:18:32,001 --> 00:18:33,263
Hey, Jonathan.
308
00:18:33,335 --> 00:18:36,133
I've been talking to your friend
Charlotte. She's great.
309
00:18:36,205 --> 00:18:39,368
- Is she seeing anybody?
- Wide open.
310
00:18:39,441 --> 00:18:41,671
Just don't mention
the name Shayla.
311
00:18:41,744 --> 00:18:43,371
- I'm sorry?
- Nothing.
312
00:18:43,445 --> 00:18:46,039
It's a private joke.
Go forth and date.
313
00:18:46,882 --> 00:18:48,816
His name was Jonathan Bix.
314
00:18:48,884 --> 00:18:50,818
He was a trader at Bear Sterns...
315
00:18:50,886 --> 00:18:54,913
and had just closed escrow
on a house in the Hamptons.
316
00:18:54,990 --> 00:18:58,187
Charlotte suddenly realized
all was not lost.
317
00:18:58,260 --> 00:19:00,023
As she sipped her beer...
318
00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:03,121
she mentally Scotch-taped
her dream house back together again.
319
00:19:05,367 --> 00:19:07,927
This party sucks.
320
00:19:08,003 --> 00:19:11,439
Laney, maybe we should think
about getting you home, all right?
321
00:19:11,507 --> 00:19:13,941
No, I don't wanna go back there.
322
00:19:16,378 --> 00:19:18,471
Who wants to see my tits?
323
00:19:20,349 --> 00:19:21,976
I'll take a look.
324
00:19:22,051 --> 00:19:24,485
Laney, come on. Come back.
Don't do this.
325
00:19:24,553 --> 00:19:26,714
Relax! It'll be fun!
326
00:19:26,789 --> 00:19:30,156
All right, look.
Now we're gonna have a party.
327
00:19:30,225 --> 00:19:32,455
Pregnant lady showin' her tits!
328
00:19:35,564 --> 00:19:37,156
Oh, my God.
329
00:19:37,232 --> 00:19:39,325
This is at once so sad...
330
00:19:39,401 --> 00:19:43,360
and the most fabulous validation
I've ever gotten in my life.
331
00:19:53,682 --> 00:19:55,115
This is weird.
332
00:19:59,254 --> 00:20:02,246
I don't think I can do this.
333
00:20:02,324 --> 00:20:03,552
No biggie.
334
00:20:06,995 --> 00:20:09,793
Despite her best efforts
to run free...
335
00:20:09,865 --> 00:20:12,834
it appeared that Laney Berlin's
invisible electric fence...
336
00:20:12,901 --> 00:20:15,062
stretched all the way to Manhattan.
337
00:20:17,005 --> 00:20:20,441
No, I know I can do it.
Just give me one more chance.
338
00:20:20,509 --> 00:20:24,104
Laney, it's not who you are anymore.
It's all right.
339
00:20:25,347 --> 00:20:29,613
I didn't know that was gonna happen.
Nobody told me that was gonna happen.
340
00:20:29,685 --> 00:20:32,347
I mean, somebody should warn you.
341
00:20:34,022 --> 00:20:35,614
It's all right.
342
00:20:37,292 --> 00:20:41,729
One day you're gonna wake up,
and you're not gonna recognize yourself.
343
00:20:49,471 --> 00:20:51,735
Can you take her to Connecticut?
344
00:21:01,450 --> 00:21:05,853
I spent the next day sitting on
a park bench watching children play.
345
00:21:08,991 --> 00:21:11,983
If I had to, could I do this?
346
00:21:14,129 --> 00:21:15,790
Would I be any good?
347
00:21:16,899 --> 00:21:20,391
Would I somehow manage to stay me?
348
00:21:28,844 --> 00:21:31,779
Hello. Oh, my!
349
00:21:33,849 --> 00:21:35,680
Oh, sorry.
350
00:21:35,751 --> 00:21:38,083
That's okay.
She's adorable.
351
00:21:38,153 --> 00:21:40,178
Yeah, most of the time.
352
00:21:40,255 --> 00:21:42,951
You wanna go home?
Yeah, yeah.
353
00:21:43,025 --> 00:21:45,391
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
354
00:21:50,833 --> 00:21:52,926
On the way home...
355
00:21:53,001 --> 00:21:54,764
I got my period.
356
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:11,000
Translation And Subtitles By
Captions, Inc. Los Angeles
357
00:22:21,000 --> 00:23:24,000
Ripped by RavyDavy
part of the [RL] Crew28618
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof