All language subtitles for Miranda_ My Such Fun Celebration (2020).RTN.English.orig.Addic7ed.com

Hello, my never-forgotten chums.
You are looking fabulous. Even you.

Not you - pull yourself together.

I'm joking, you look lovely.

But back to me.

No, because here's the thing.

It is the tenth anniversary
of my sitcom, so, we thought,

why not have a little celebrazione
to thank-you-please-very-much

please-to-you-thank-you-please
to-you for watching over the years.

I've got some exciting guests,
and many a surprise up my sleeve.

I'm very excited.

So, come join
My Such Fun Celebration.

# I'm going to have
myself a real good time

# I feel alive

# And the world

# Is turning inside out, yeah

# I'm Floating around in ecstasy

# So don't stop me now

# Don't stop me

# Because I'm having a good time,
I'm having a good time

# I'm a shooting star,
leaping through the skies

# Like a tiger defying
the laws of gravity

# I'm a racing car,
passing by like Lady Godiva

# I'm going to go, go, go,
there's no stopping me

# I'm burning through the sky, yeah

# 200 degrees, that's why
they call me Mr Fahrenheit

# I'm travelling
at the speed of light

# I want to make a
supersonic woman of you... #

APPLAUSE
# Don't stop me now

# I'm having such a good time

# I'm having a ball

# Don't stop me now

# If you want to have a good time,
just give me a call

# Don't stop me now
Having a good time

# Don't stop me now
Oh, I'm having a good time

# I don't want to stop at all... #

Ladies and gentlemen, Miranda Hart!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Don't stop!

# I'm a rocket
ship on my way to Mars

# On a collision course

# I am a satellite,
I'm out of control

# I'm a sex machine,
ready to reload

# Like an atom bomb

# About to oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, explode

# I'm burning
through the skies, yeah

# 200 degrees

# That's why they call
me Mr Fahrenheit

# I am travelling
at the speed of light

# I want to make
a supersonic woman of you... #

Let's go! Let's go!

# Don't stop me, don't stop me

# Don't stop me, don't stop me

# Whoo, hoo-hoo

# Having a good time, good time

# Don't stop me, don't stop me

# Oh...!

# Oh, I'm burning
through the skies, yeah

# 200 degrees

# That's why they call me
Mr Fahrenheit

# I'm travelling
at the speed of light

# I want to make
a supersonic woman of you

# Oh, don't stop me now

# I'm having such a good time

# I'm having a ball

# Don't stop me now... #

I couldn't even
stop if I wanted to.

# Give me a call
Don't stop me now... #

I can't stop now!

# Don't stop me now... #

I quite want to stop myself now.

I don't know how to stop right now!

# Oh! #

McFly!

Miranda!

McFly!

Miranda!

This could go on all night!

McMiranda!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Hello!

Oh, well!

Thank you very much
for being here tonight, thank you.

And hello to you chums
watching at home.

It has been too long,
I've missed you!

So, time for a catch-up.

Pull up a chair...

Well, I don't know why you
wouldn't have done already,

who stands watching telly?

Unless you're watching this
on a treadmill, in which case,

please stop, you're making
us all hate ourselves.

Of course, for the more louche
amongst you, pull up a pouffe...

..or a bag-o-beans...

Thank you.

..lay back, look like a turtle,

and if you're over 40, abandon
all hope of ever standing up again.

So, a catch-up.

Previously in my life, I was born...

This won't take long.

The doctor handed me to my
mother and said, "It's a long one."

Fact!

I peeked in beauty around seven...

..eight...

..nine was the pinnacle.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

I mean, with looks like that,
I was destined for a life on screen.

Got some pretty
dynamic acting roles...

..by which I mean food adverts.

Eventually, I pitched
a sitcom to the BBC.

I said, what about a tall
woman who runs a joke shop

and chats to camera like Eric
Morecambe, my absolute comedy hero?

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

The BBC stared, I assumed, with awe,
then laughed and said,

"Go away."

But to this long one's continued
astonishment, they relented,

and it all sort of
went really quite well.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
Thank you.

Oh, it was mortifying. I wish the
ground could have swallowed me up.

MUSIC: Walking On Sunshine
by Katrina & the Waves

No, I'm stuck!

I'm sorry, can you pull your
trousers up? Oi!

Excuse me, I'm going to actually
have to mount your travellator.

Stop pretending
to be Darcey Bussell.

MAN'S VOICE: Did you say Thursday?

Tuesday.

I'll just finish the circuit.

# Tell me more, tell me more

# Like, did he have a car... #

This is hard to Hoover being a man.

I've had boyfriends...

How many times - being flashed out
does not constitute a relationship?

Rude.

Such fun!

Miranda,
don't run in the corridor.

It's a gallop, miss.

I think all businessmen should do it

and one day I hope to tell
the nation via a TV show.

Well, that all went very well,
I thought.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

And here we are, having
a celebrazione ten years on,

at the Palladium,
with some non-befitting nibbles.

I love the Palladium, I love it.

Although it does sound a little bit
like a painkiller.

"Got a headache?
Take a couple of Palladiums."

Might just...

Eating a sharer bag
all to ourself, are we?

Impatient to make our entrance,
are we?

Am yes, I am. We are.

Getting confused
and sounding like Yoda, are we?

Just do my introduction, please.

Ladies and gentlemen...

And make it good, please. Shush!

..please welcome,
a woman that I look up to,

but not as much as
she looks up to me,

because she's my tiny elf
of a friend who sees a part of me

no-one else does - the underneath
of my what I call breast shelf.

It's my bestie, Sarah Hadland!

MUSIC: I'm So Excited

# I'm so excited

# I just can't hide it

# I'm about to lose control
and I think I like it

# I'm so excited

# And I just can't hide it

# And I know, I know, I know

# I want you... #

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Hello to you, my
leprechaun of loveliness!

Hello to you, tallest caller.

Oh, isn't this exciting?

Weren't McFly fabulous? Amazing.

News just in...
Call me Fiona Bruce...

AUDIENCE: Fiona Bruce!

Was not expecting that. So...

They're going on tour. Yes. Wow!

Although in the light
of the climate crisis,

I have suggested that they change

their name to
Mc-Go-By-Train-Instead.

Or McFly-If-You-Have-To...

..But-Then-Plant-Some-Trees-To
Offset-Your-Carbon-Footprint.

It's quite catchy. It's difficult
to fit on a T-shirt, though.

Although I'm not being rude, but it
would fit on one of your T-shirts.

If you remember, saying,
"I'm not being rude" before saying

something rude
doesn't make it not rude.

Oh, yes, I remember that now.

We're here to celebrate you, so
let's talk about Miranda and Stevie.

Yes. It all started in 2008,
when we did the pilot.

Originally, I was more
like your boss in a suit, wasn't I?

Yeah.
And it was all very, very serious.

You were very stern. Yeah. In fact,
Oh, no. ..not oft seen.

There is something wrong with you,
you don't know how to have fun.

Oh, I can be fun.
I had a barbecue once.

How on Earth...?
And I had sex on the beach.

The drink or the activity?

Didn't like it much,
felt all queasy,

I was staggering about so much,
it fell out of my hand in the end.

And it cost a fortune.

Still not sure,
the drink or the activity?

You're so different!

APPLAUSE

Didn't really work,
you being so strict.

No. We realised that Miranda
needed a friend, otherwise everyon

was going to be against her,
so, I said to the BBC,

if we're going to create
this best friendship,

we need to spend some time,

so they gave us a couple of guys
to improvise in a back pump room.

Sounds like we rehearsed in a
brewery - it was a room at the BBC.

So, we sort of clicked, really,
immediately. Immediately, yeah.

We had comedy chemistry, didn't we?
We did, darling, yes. Than

Yeah, I just sort of got a notepad
out and we kind of improvised

and that's when we first... You
followed me around, didn't yo

I followed you around. Because
I used to sort of sing lines of<

things randomly, and that's how

What Have You Done Today?
came about. Yes.

I think we all want to hear it.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

The only thing is, I can't do it
without my Heather on a stick, so...

Oh, well...

# What have you done today to
make you feel proud? #

APPLAUSE

So good. And is it true that people
sing that to you in real life?

Yeah, the worst - would you help me
do a re-enactment? Certainl

The worst I've ever had,
I was standing at a pla...

You be me. Oh.

So, you're me standing
at a platform on a cold night

and then a woman...
Cold night, did you say? Cold night.

Very good actress. BAFTA nominated.

This woman creeps up to me,
a cold, rainy night on a station,

just in your own
thoughts, quite happily. Yeah...

"What have you done today
to make you feel proud?!"

Really?

Well, yeah, it was
amazing that we connected, really.

It was a lovely and lucky thing.

The friendship
started in the script,

then it went to real life,
that informed the script. Yeah. 00:12:44,239
Then as we got closer,
Miranda and Stevie got closer, so...

Yeah, it was really lucky.

So, tomorrow night,

Miranda and Stevie's Okey Dokey
No Space For Blokeys karaoke.

Stevie, Stevie, Stevie,
Stevie, Stevie!

I need you, we're like
a sofa and a little pouffe.

Do you want a round of swing muffin?
Of course.

Good luck.

Oh! Oh!

The game that you love is
my game - Where's Miranda?

Found her!

She's emotionally constipated
and I'm her metaphorical prune.

BOTH: We're cougars.

Sorry.

Go!

You look ridiculous.
I have to hold them when running.

Love you. Love you.

Love you. No!

You've always been
all I've really had.

Lovey.

Love you.

Yeah, I feel really proud of
the friendship on screen because

we've both had a lot of comments
about how people responded to it.

I think we kind of showed younger
people that you could still

have fun and not be cool
and that you've always got each

other's backs ultimately and that's
actually the most important

thing in life, is to have
fun and have good friends. Yeah. 00:14:15,240
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Do you remember Dr Gail? Ah! Yes!

Oh!

Look at your little face!
Look at my face.

I'm obviously saying, "Look how

"beautiful he is,
he's so handsome!"

Do you remember the
scene that we were going to do

competing over Dr Gail?

Oh, my God, yes.

I was thinking whether
we could do a little Miranda

and Stevie scene at the
Palladium here tonight.

Oh...
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

I don't think people want to see
a Stevie and Miranda scene.

CHEERING
No, but also...

To be honest, I think
we'd be far too shy and embarrassed.

Too shy and uncomfortable.

So... So...

We'd be in the shop.
We'd be in the shop.

I'd do something like...
Oh! Like that.

I'd do something like this.

Oh, lovely.

You've gone sort of dressagey, you
look like a tiny little show pony.

You're welcome. I'd spy him out
of the shop.

I'd get the Febreze. Yes.

Febreze me up, sire.

He quite liked that,
in the audience.

Do that again.

CHEERING
Yes.

He loved that. Yes, he did.

I've obviously got the allure,
post-Febreze.

Oh, sorry, sorry, excuse me.

I'm the one with the allure,
I am captain of the Allure Society.

At best,
you have a BTEC in allurification.

I think you'll find
I have a diploma in alluro-science.

Sir, if, sir, you had to say
one of us had the greatest allure,

then who would it be?

You see, this is a woman
with all the allure... Mm.

..of manure.

Whereas this is a woman
with non-manure allure.

You look like an angry
Fisher-Price person.

Oh, there's someone coming.
It might be Dr Gail.

Might be Dr Gail.
Present. Present...

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

BOTH: You! Customer!

No, no, help, no, not again.

Look, I've come to the wrong place,
I've got tickets for The Lion King.

Oh, well, whilst you're here... Come
on through. 00:16:49,799
Please, I can't go
through anything else.

Why are you always so scared of us?

Yes, don't be a scaredy cat.

Be a bravedy dog.

Is it the size thing?

Is it that we look
like a set of Russian dolls

but with the middle ones missing?

I'm going to go.
BOTH: Stay!

I just want to see The Lion King.

Well, you've got
a giraffe right here.

At your service.

# It's the circle of life! #

APPLAUSE

Well, you know,
who needs the musical?

That was better. Yeah. And here's
# Hakuna-matata!

# What a wonderful phrase... #

Yes? Yeah? I think
the real thin

BOTH: Rude!

We don't need The Lion King...

..because you've got the
lion queens right here.

Rrr!

# It's our problem free

# Philosophy

# Hakuna-matata! #

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

BOTH: Ruined it. Get off.

And scene.

Oh, dear! Beloved customer. I know!

Miranda and Stevie
were quite competitive, actually,

it's reminding me. We were a little
bit, but more competitive

sisters are competitive.

Yes, and the sisters thing
really helped, I think,

the playful side of it, because that
was my key aim in the Miranda

character, was the desire to play
and not buy into social norms.

So, I say, keep playing, freely
be yourself, follow your heart

and the joy where you can. Yes.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
So, I think...

I think my favourite
of the playfulness in the show was

probably when Stevie was on
her stool behind the counter... Oh!

..and I would regularly
push her off it.

Hello? Oh!

Sorry! We thought we'd
come out of Miranda's box.

Hi, Tamara!

Go!

She's desperate.

Erm, now, I've heard you say...

Am I allowed to
hutch up on the sofa?

Hutch away.
Put my feet on the sofa, yeah.

I've heard you say that if
Miranda and Stevie had an anthem...

Yeah. ..you would always
say that it would be Lean On Me. 00:19:21,599
Yes. Because, we sang
that in the Christmas episode.

Well, I knew you loved that song,

so, as a little surprise for you,
here to thank her for being

a best friend on and off screen,
to sing Lean On Me, it is...

No!

It is... The Kingdom Choir!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

# Sometimes in our lives

# We all have pains

# We all have sorrow

# But if we are wise

# We know that there's

# Always tomorrow

# Lean on me
When you're not strong

# I'll be your friend

# I'll help you carry on

# For it won't be long

# Till I'm gonna need

# Somebody to lean on

# So just call on me, brother

# When you need a hand

# We all need somebody to lean on

# I just might have a problem
that you'll understand

# We all need somebody to lean on

# Lean on me

# When you're not strong

# I'll be your friend

# I'll help you carry on

# For it won't be long
It won't be long

# Till I'm gonna need

# Somebody to lean

# Lean on. #

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Oh! Do you know,
it's all too much fun.

We're having a lot o' fun.

I mean, you could almost say
we're having...

Don't say it, don't say it.

Well, it's a Miranda celebration -

I think the nation needs...

Such fun!

WHOOPING AND CHEERING

MUSIC: Fun Fun Fun
by the Beach Boys

It's the woman I call
Patricia Hodge!

Come in, come through.

Patricia Hodge.

Or Mum II, as I call her.

Thank you, first off,
for being game to be my mum.

You jumped into our crazy world.
Oh, gosh.

I was under the illusion
you asked me to do it

because you knew I was completely
bonkers underneath anyway.

No, you see, I didn't know
what you were like at all.

So when I was writing it,
I was thinking

"I don't know how eccentric
and silly I can make Penny,"

because we didn't know you were...
you were Patricia.

You still are Patricia Hodge!

And the first scene that Patricia
had to do was when you fainted

outside a wedding dress shop when
you saw me in a wedding dress.

And we were thinking,
"We can't ask Patricia Hodge

"to lie on the pavement
in Hounslow!"

No, she's far too posh. So we were
all scrubbing the pavement.

But Patricia just turned up
and said, "I have to faint,"

and down she went.

I look like I've had
a chiffon-based anaphylactic shock.

MUSIC: Pretty Woman
by Roy Orbison

Come back!

We had some fun on the studio floor.

Yes, some unscripted fun.
Showbiz exclusive -

if anyone was going to laugh first,
this one.

One that was fairly unforgettable -

when, I think it was the episode
where I was ill in bed,

but it was an excuse to throw
a lot of aggravation at you.

Not the least, the trauma
that you gave me being born.

Oh, yes. That line.
I was about to say the line,

looked at Miranda,
and she was busy

looking at my forehead
in order not to laugh.

Well, that was it.

Well, we've got a clip
of what it ended up being.

I'll have you know, I have the right
to be demanding.

I earned that right

the minute I pushed a 10lb you
through my clacker.

The things I made you say.
I'm so sorry.

Now you understand,
are you on my side?

This is what happened. I believe
it took three takes, Miss Hodge.

...pushed a 10lb you
through my cl...

THEY MOUTH

..you through my clacker.

..pushed a 10lb you
through my cla...

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

Oh, happy days.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Well, Mum II, you are my shero

in terms of elegance
and sophistication, I have to say,

despite also being
well up for a laugh.

Do you ever have any
Miranda moments?

Do you, for example, I don't know,

have you ever spray-talked
a sausage roll on to a royal?

No.

Have either of you ever farted...?
I don't feel it's right

to say farted to Patricia.
Don't say farted to Patricia. No. 00:26:01,600
Broken breeze. Better.

Have you ever broken breeze
during a massage?

No. Or a yoga class?

No. No.

Or... you might know
where I'm going with this,

because I know it's one of
our mutually favourite episodes.

Have you ever broken breeze
in an osteopath appointment?

Don't tell me I'm the only one.

Hello?

Intimate, isn't it?

We'll have to become engaged
after this, sir.

Wig. Wig!

So just one final stretch, OK?

FARTING

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Has that actually
ever happened to you?

Yes!

Yes, it's one of very few things
that happened in reality

that made it into the sitcom.

Patricia, you'll be pleased to hear
that I'm not the only one

who might have
the odd Miranda moment.

Oh, good. Here's the thing,
Hodge, Hudders. 00:27:17,359
I've had a lot of fun
on social media

asking people for
their #MirandaMoments.

It turns out there are
a worrying amount

of peculiar but hilarious
daily mishaps going on in the world,

which I find rather consoling.

So I'm just going to share with you
some of my favourites.

Are you ready? Yeah. OK.
Di, she

"On a packed commuter train
and needed to sneeze.

"Couldn't move my hand quick enough

"as I was trapped by
fellow commuters.

"Turned away to sneeze,
only to get some poor man

"who'd turned towards me to yawn..."

"..I sneezed into his open mouth."

I can't cope with that.

I can't cope with that.
That's horrendous.

In the audience, some people went,
"Eww!" and some people went, "Argh!"

Carol, now this is
a definite favourite.

Carol said,
"Opened the front door on my knees,

"expecting my little grandson
to be there,

"to find myself staring
at my postman's crotch.

"It might not have been too bad,
had I not squealed,

"Hello, little man!"
as I opened up.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

And we've got Kim, Kim says,
"Had to carry a tray of coffee

"into my boss's office for him
and four male visitors.

"The pocket of my skirt caught
on the door handle

"and as I walked in, the front
of my skirt ripped off

"and left me standing there
in my knickers."

Well, we've all been there, Kim.

Ooh, it looks great!

SHE SQUEALS

So you see, we all have our moments.

Yes, but you're not as clumsy
as that in real life, are you?

No, I'm not, actually. Thank you
for asking. No, I'm not.

Yeah, I think that key authentic
similarity, probably the only one,

is the journey into accepting
this thing, the body.

And I was really pleased
to write that for screen

because I never intended
to be disparaging

about myself or other women,

I always intended it
to really honour the fact

that there are a lot of women
who do take decades

to feel comfortable
in their own skin.

And mainly it was
really a celebration

into the route into acceptance.

So I think that was the key.

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

All I know is that I definitely
wouldn't get flirting

or dating advice from
my on-screen mother.

Follow me. Pincer movement.

We'll go commando.

Let's hope she doesn't really know
what that means.

If nude fondue doesn't make
your father want me back,

he'll be desperate for
my kinky quiche.

I do not want to hang with you and
Dad for two days, being subjected to

Dad's yearly one-man performance
of The 12 Days of Christmas.

No-one should have to see
his maids a-milking!

What about his five gold rings?
They're worse!

We play this amazing game
of Naked Twis... Unacceptable!

I've got an appointment with
your father to exfoliate his...

Her earliest memory was her parents
playing Naked Cluedo.

No-one wants to see their father's
Professor Plums.

That's a good one of your father.

There was a spa in Malta
in the '60s... Oh, no.

..and let's just say clothes
weren't an option.

So...

BLENDER DROWNS OUT SPEECH

..Nigel Havers, twice!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

So, you know the film, Notting Hill,
the romcom? Yeah.

Well, actually, Ronan Keating's song
for that,

You Say It Best
When You Say Nothing At All,

the original lyrics
were actually written for me.

I think you might have gone
a bit mad. No, no, no.

I tell you though, what we do
need to know from you.

I genuinely get asked this a lot.

I get asked,
what is this season's laugh?

Oh, yes. Yes, we need to know.
Yes.

Let's hark back to the first one.
This was the first one.

And the laugh this season

is based on the song Poker Face
by Lady Ga-GA.

# Can't read my
Can't read my poker face. #

LAUGHS TO SAME TUNE

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

So we need to know, what season's
laughs have we missed?

Calling Penny? Yes, as Penny.

Right, well... Here she is!
Here she is.

Well, there's George Ezra's Shotgun.

# I'll be riding shotgun
underneath the hot sun... #

LAUGHS TO SAME TUNE

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

And then there's Lil Nas Cross,
Old Town Road,

hip-hop stylee.

# I'm gonna... #

LAUGHS

# I'm going to take my horse
to the old town road... #

LAUGHS TO SAME TUNE

LAUGHTER AND CHEERING

Actually, this season's laugh is
Ronan Keating.

It's a throwback... What a
coincidence! Life is a roller-coaster,
just got to ride it. Oh.

ALL: # Life is a roller-coaster
Just got to ride it... #

LAUGHS TO SAME TUNE

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

WHOOPING

That's not how it goes.

Oh.

# Life is a roller-coaster
Just got to ride it... #

LAUGHS TO SAME TUNE

LAUGHTER AND CHEERING

It's so random
that you should be here,

because I was just randomly
just talking about you. Really? 00:34:04,999
Whilst you're here, randomly,
just popped on,

how about you sing the song,
with the original lyrics, for me?

CHEERING

Pleasure.

See? I told you. In your face!

Off you trot.

Customer, can you get off, please,

and go and choose another
park bench?

Honestly. I'm so sorry.
It's quite all right.

I like this bench.

Yeah. It's very Notting Hill,
isn't it?

# It's amazing how you
can speak right to my heart... #

Oh, I've missed you, Ronan.

# You're as tasty as crisps

# Or a massive cream tart... #

He means tart in a good way.

# There's no words to say

# Why I need you each day

# But I'll try to explain
anyway... #

Fire away, you fine Irish hunk, you.

# Miranda, you know
how I find you bewitching

# When you trip in the hall
or fall down in the kitchen... #

Great line.

# You're silly and scruffy

# I bet you
can't help it at all... #

What am I like?

# But what I love most... #
Yes?

# Is that you're seven-feet tall. #

Six foot one.

# All day long I can hear people
talking out loud... #

Oh, they never stop, do they?

# Saying look at that girl

# Standing out from the crowd... #

That would be me.

# Try as I may
I keep making mistakes... #

It's true.

# Every time that
we share food on dates... #

I remember well.

# The smile on your face

# Lets me know
that you want food... #

I always do.
# There's a glare in your eyes

# Saying sharing would be rude

# The stab of your fork

# Says you're claiming
the final meatball... #

Such good lyrics!

# You share it best... # Yes.

# When you share nothing at all
Whoa-oh... #

Refuse to.

Tapas, meze, all stands for
not enough food.

# The smile on your face
was surrounded by ketchup

# There's a smear on your chin
That said let's go and hook up

# The crook in my neck

# Says to kiss you
We'll need a footstool... #

It's true.

# I look up to you

# Cos you're seven-feet tall. #

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Fully accepting of self.

Well done. Thank you, Mum II.

And thank you, actually,
for being the best on-screen mother

a woman could wish for.

Mamma Mia, you were good.

Can you guess what surprise
I've got up my sleeve for you?

Oh, you don't...? Oh, yes! Hit it!

MUSIC: Dancing Queen
by Abba

# Friday night
and the lights are low

# Looking out for a place to go

# Where they play the right music

# Getting in the swing

# You come to look for a king

# Anybody could be that guy

# Night is young
and the music's high

# With a bit of rock music
Everything is fine

# You're in the mood for a dance

# And when you get the chance

# You are the dancing queen

# Young and sweet, only 17

# Dancing queen

# Feel the beat from the tambourine
Oh, yeah

# You can dance

# You can jive

# Having the time of your life
Ooh

# See that girl, watch that scene

# Diggin' the dancing queen. #

The cast of Mamma Mia: The Musical!

Wasn't that fabulous?

Oh, I think a little pause,
methinks.

A little breather. A little mo-mo.

ALL: Bear with.

It is...

..Sally Phillips!

CHEERING

MUSIC: Call Me Maybe
by Carly Rae Jepsen

PHONE BEEPS
Oh!

Bear with.

SHE ROARS WITH LAUGHTER

Back.

# Call me, maybe

# Hey, I just met you

# And this is crazy

# But here's my number

# So call me, maybe

# And all the other boys

# Try to chase me

# But here's my number

# So call me, maybe. #

Oh! Oh!

CHEERING

Hello! Sally Phillips.

Hello-ingtons! Sally, you're a
fab-Yule-log with coco-late on

I think I said once!

Let's just have a look at
some vintage Tillingtons.

I have an announcementington.

News flush... Psshhhh!

You have majorly let yourself go.
Slackeroni cheese!

We need to get to a nightclub
and go on the pullingtons.

Will you come?
It's going to be tremendulent.

Ah! Oh, sorry. Bear with. Bear with.

Bear with. Bear with.

Looks Edible Von Guzzle Bucket.

I'm starvington stations.

Yeah, Hungerlos McMungerlos.

Uh, Ryan Sosling. I have dos factos.

Flabbergaster-moo-moo!

Well, he is Cheddar Gorge.

Feeling Tipsy, Laa-Laa and Po.

Tilly-tubbies!

At the Tilly language,
you were just brilliant.
I loved doing

I just looked in my computer
and I found a list of them today.

Because Tilly was... Tilly?! Sally!

Sally was the only cast member
that would get the script

before we went in production
because she was so good

at the language that she would mess
around with what I gave her

and make it better.

I think that's cos we went to
boarding school

and like prison inmates have their
own special language,

at boarding school you always had
your own special language. Tr

Have you noticed that words
in the last ten years

have got more Tilly?

I always thought Tilly was like
a disease and it doesn't surprise me

that it's spread to...
I mean, it spread to all of us.

We all started saying "lovingtons".

I call you Hodglingtons,
you call me... Haddlepops.

But I think we've now got things
like chillaxing, bromances,

guyliner, mansplaining,

it seems like it sort of got worse.

Yeah, well, we're all infected.

Do you use things like FOMO?

Patricia, do you know what
FOMO means? No. It means fear of missing out.

I've got RAGOWK.

What's RAGOWK?

Relief at getting out without kids.

RAGOWK.

There's a few parents
who are relieved, there.

I have to say, I think I preferred
it when it was a simpler language.

Miranda liked simpler words
like this.

Plunge is a lovely word.

Plunge.

Plunge!

Browse. Yeah.

She's a lovely word.

And qualms. Qualms is a good word.

I do have qualms.

I have qualms about them both.

I've said qualms too much now.

I have qualms about the word qualms.

I have a qualm qualms.

Susan Perb. Call me Sue.

Sue Perb? Yes.

Sue Perb?!

How is that not funny?

Spasm!

Clutch. Cusp.

Slash. Thrust.

I'll crack open a window, shall I?

Ooh, crack, cheeky.

Crack.

Plunge.

Plunge my crack. No!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Anyone else
have any favourite words?

Spatchcock!

Anyone else?
ALL: Flange.

Oh, it's Stinky and Danny
from The New Me episode! Lovely.

Any others? Bauble!

Oh, it's Sue Perb, everybody!

No, no. I'm not actually Sue Perb
any more.

I got married.
Oh, that must be a relief.

What's your married name?

Preem.

Preem?

Sue Preem?!

Supreme!

Oh, no.

Emma Kennedy, everybody!

Oh! Do you know,

it's feeling like a proper reunion
now, isn't it?

Yes. Yeah.

Sal, I'm going to ask you this.

Am I allowed to say that
I'm really proud of us women?

Am I allowed to say that?

I think that you smashed through
the glass floor there

and enabled women to BE big tits
on television, as well as have...

It's unusual to have four strong
female characters in one show,

and none of us were
sort of apologetic.

We were all very bold. And it was
a very female-dominated show

in terms of the exec producers,
the producers, the director,

everybody was female. Yeah.

CHEERING

It really was a question of sisters
doing it for themselves.

MUSIC: Sisters Are Doin' It
For Themselves

# Now, there was a time

# When they used to say

# That behind every great man

# There had to be a great woman

# But in these times of change

# You know that it's no longer true

# So we're coming out of the kitchen

# Cos there's something
we forgot to say to you

# Sisters are doin' it
for themselves

# Standing on their own two feet

# Ringing on their own bells

# Sisters are doin' it
for themselves

# Oh

# We ain't making stories

# Oh, we ain't laying plans

# Don't you know that a man
still loves a woman

# And a woman still loves a man

# Yeah, yeah!

# Sisters are doin' it
for themselves

# Doin' it, doin' it, doin' it

# Sisters are doin' it
for themselves! #

CHEERING

My name is Scarlett Curtis.

I am a writer and activist
and extreme Miranda fan.

I think the character Miranda
is such an incredible role model

for self-acceptance because
she's not out there

being the most confident woman
in the world

who loves everything about her

and can talk to anyone
and do anything.

She questions herself.

And she's very vulnerable
and she gets anxious and insecure.

But she is always trying,
within those feelings,

to find the funny side of it,
or love herself despite her flaws.

When I was 15, I was hospitalised.

I was suffering from OCD,
anxiety, depression,

kind of just general
mental health stuff

that impacted on my physical health.

And I was like, "I need something to
kind of keep my spirits up."

Scrolled through the comedy section
on iPlayer, clicked on Miranda,

and then I was hooked and would not
leave it alone for, like, ever!

In 2013, I enrolled at my dream
stage school

and I'd made loads of friends,
it was the best year of my life.

And then quite dramatically, a year
later, all of that just stopped.

I'd come down with quite a chronic
case of agoraphobia, a condition

in which a person feels
such intense fear

that they don't leave the house.

Miranda basically became
my sanctuary

because I had nothing
to look forward to.

And then I'd turn the TV on
it would be like

I was in a different world.

Watching Miranda gave me confidence
to the extent that now, like,

I'm OK doing poetry performances.

Without Miranda, I would have
never had that confidence

to really push myself
outside of my comfort zone.

I love Miranda.

Absolutely love her.

And I love the show.

I think she uses comedy as medicine
in the best way possible.

If you have the ability to laugh
at yourself and your misfortunes,

then... you'll survive.

The show got me through a really
tough time because I was diagnosed

with multiple sclerosis.

I put her on every morning.

She's my total injection
of fun and laughter

and she's my anti-depressant.

She's just the funniest,
funniest lady.

You know, it could have affected me,
but it didn't,

because of her, really.
Because watching her and laughing.

And some people are always like,

"It's just a show,
Miranda's just a show,"

and I'm like, not really.
It's helped me through a lot.

Someone like Miranda was really able
to kind of knock down all the walls

that we thought existed around
the way women should be.

And I think that's what inspires me,
not only as a producer,

as an actor, but just as
a human being,

as a woman who definitely
doesn't fit in, a lot of the time.

It's given me a sense of comfort

that I'm not the only one
who's trying to fit in,

even in a world that says
you don't fit in.

During some of the harder times,
um...

..you need to find ways
to get through.

Izzy is autistic and the last
couple of years at school

have been really,
really challenging.

I've always felt like a bit of
a social outcast,

even though
I was desperate to fit in.

Then Miranda came along
and showed me that actually

it's cool to be uncool

because beauty is
what's on the inside

and not just what's on the outside.

I think Miranda's so special
because... she's helped me realise

that being different is a good thing
and it's OK.

And you don't need to be
scared of it,

because so many people love Miranda,

which means there's a possibility
that so many people could love me

or anyone else that's different.

So it's very reassuring.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Oh, that was a surprise,
I wasn't expecting that.

Oh, that's amazing.

Thank you for the people who
commented on that video.

That was special. Yeah.

Ah! Are you missing you-know-who?

Well, he's in LA.

So what's a girl to do?

Except I know one girl who would
probably have an idea, Penny.

I know. Let's play a game and see
if your soulmate is in the room.

Oh, Mum II. I don't know
about that. Such fun!

CHEERING

Now, all men over 25 stand up,
please.

Come on.

So the rules are quite simple.

We're going to ask you
a few questions.

And if they don't apply,
then sit down and we'll see

who's still standing at the end.

So sit down if you would not enjoy
the sweet sound of a breast clap.

Sit down if you think
only children should gallop.

AUDIENCE GROANS
Oh, wow, OK.

Sit down if you're under six-foot.

Oh, dear, there's actually
not a single sausage.

Really? No-one? Will I do?

SCREAMING

MUSIC: Up Where We Belong by
Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes

It's Tom Ellis!

CHEERING

Now, Tom, we haven't seen each other
since we got married, have we?

Since we got Gerund-ed.

Garried. Garried!

And we haven't had a honeymoon,
have we?

No.

So I thought, what better time
to have a honeymoon

than in front of 2,000 people
at the Palladium?

So, for you, a surprise.

Here's the honeymoon suite
at the Hamilton Lodge.

LAUGHTER

Are you ready? I'm ready. Let's go.

Cold bed dance!

Cold bed dance!

Oh, that's better.
Have you missed me?

I have, I have, CCS.

CCS, yes. We call each other CCS
which stands for clammy co-sta

True story. We used to stand
backstage being very nervous,

waiting to come on set. Yeah.

And we both, when we get a bit
nervous, get terribly sweaty hands.

Very clammy. And we go... pprrrt!

"Love you, CSS." Yes.

We have a little reservoir
in there.

It was lovely. It was lovely.

Awww! And I gave you some cufflinks.

You did. That said CCS.

When we finished our very last-ever
episode, and they said CCS and CCS.

Yes. And I wore them at my wedding
this year.

You didn't! I did.

Awww! Because I always like to have
a part of you close to me.<

So sweet!

Well, it was truly a pleasure
to share

a will they, won't they journey
with you.

Have a look at this, Tom-Tom.

Great to see you. It's been ages.

Hi, how are you?
SHE WHIMPERS

Kids? Yeah.

Got two. Um...

There's Orlando...

..Orlando, and... Blue.

Do they know they're in love? No.

THEY BOTH GIGGLE

MOCK GIGGLING

Hello. Hi.

Surprise.

Why don't you come to my bar later,
I'll take you there in my Transit.

Alpha male enough for you? Yes!

You're ruining it. Sorry.

What do you mean you're married?

A savoury muffin?

Life is full of enough
disappointments, Gary.

I want to move on from you. Us.

# Is there any way that I can stay

# In your arms... #

I can't let you go.

It's always been you.

Will you do me the honour
of being my wife?

Yes!

Forgot to say.

I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

We... we just sort of clicked,
from the off, didn't we?

We did. Do you remember the scene
that we had to do?

It was like a romantic dinner

and it was when we agreed
that we'd give it a shot.

Yeah. Yes. So we're sitting doing
with candlelight and all that,
tucking into our food.

She was like, "Ohhhh..." Oh, no.

"I've got the worst trapped wind."

Really bad. I think we've gauged
we were quite a windy cast. 00:58:24,639
Quite a windy cast, yeah.

And so basically in between this
romantic scene, halfway through,

we found a quiet corridor.

Where Miranda sort of
lay on her back

and I pumped her legs to try and...

..try and somehow alleviate this
pain that you were going through.

It's true! True story.

I was pumped by Tom Ellis.

Our honeymoon, I don't feel,
would be right

without a bit of serenading.

Oh, what are you going to sing me?

Well, you'll be pleased to hear
I'm not singing you anything

but have you heard of the band
McGo-By-Train-Instead...

..formerly known as McFly.

Well, for our honeymoon,
here they are for you

with All About You. No!

# It's all about you

# It's about you

# It's all about you, baby

# It's all about

# It's all about you

# It's about you

# It's all about you

# Yesterday you asked me something

# I thought you knew

# So I told you with a smile

# It's all about you

# Then you whispered in my ear

# And you told me to

# Said you made my life worthwhile

# Oh, it's all about you

# And I would answer
all your wishes

# If you ask me to

# But if you deny me
one of your kisses

# I don't know what I'd do

# So hold me close
and say three words

# Like you used to do

# Dancing on the kitchen tiles

# It's all about you

# Yeah!

# And I would answer all your wishes

# If you asked me to

# But if you deny me
one of your kisses

# I don't know what I'd do

# So hold me close
and say three words

# Like you used to do

# Dancing on the kitchen tiles

# Yes, you make my life worthwhile

# So I told you with a smile

# It's all about you... #
Come on, let's go!

AUDIENCE: # It's all about you

# It's all about you, baby

# It's all about you

# It's all about you, baby

# It's all about you

# It's about you

# It's all about you, baby

# It's all about

# It's all about you

# It's about you

# It's all about you

# It's all about

# You! #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Do you want another pillow, darling?
Oh, I'd love one, thank you.

Just get one for you... Ohh!

Or two. Pleasure.

Oh, God!

CHEERING

How do you keep doing this?

I'll go. Could you?

It's our honeymoon. Thank you.
KNOCKING

Miranda?

I saw you we here, and I just
had to see you. I've missed you.

Mike! Oh!

Gorgeous.

Whoa, whoa, back off, back off,
mate. Honeymoon.

Yeah?
KNOCKING

Room service.
Oh, it's Doctor Dishy Gail.

Look at you. You're dishy,
you brought a dish,

you dishy disher, you.

Sorry, honeymoon. Apologies.
KNOCKING

Oh! Let me get
this room serviced for you.

Hello! I'm going.

It never works.

KNOCKING
Oh, now who?

Oh, Dr Gail! Hello!

We're here to do turndown service.

BOTH: It's Chris and Alison!

CHEERING

A bucket full of soz
for disturbingtons

any rumpy-de-pumpy.

But disaster-rama!

My room's all out of bloody crisps.

Oh, bloody love crisps.

It's Dreamboat Charlie!

It's not Dreamboat Charlie
any more.

It's Love Island Charlie now.

Funny story.

Three glamorous beauties,
a tub of Nutella and a naked sauna.

Ended up like Charlie
And The Chocolate Factory

with a special appearance
from Willy Wonka.

Charlie! Silence! Oh, hello.

Coming to join? Hello.

This is fun, everyone together
again. Where's Mum II?

Sorry, darling, just been having

a little ding dong merrily
on high with this one.

CHEERING

Twice.

This one, she's insatiable.

Never thought you could have
so much fun with a fruit friend.

Oh!

CHEERING

A lie-down at last.
Give it up, please,

for Dominic Coleman, Adam Rayner,

Margaret Cabourn-Smith,
John Finnemore,

Bo Poraj, Adrian Scarborough,

James Holmes and Nigel Havers.

Happy birthday to you all!

Very happy birthday to Miranda,
the show.

It's very apt
I should be saying happy birthday

because I literally can't think
of a show

that's brought more happiness
to people,

with such undiluted joy.

Congratulations on the ten-year
anniversary of your show.

Best wishes and happy birthday.

Happy birthday, Miranda.

And thank you for ten years
of splendid silliness.

Splendid's a good word, isn't it?

When I lost in the 2011 Wimbledon
semifinal,

I watched an episode of Miranda
to cheer me up.

So I just wanted to wish you
a very happy birthday.

Happy birthday, gang.

I hope you have a great big
stonking birthday bash.

Happy birthday.

Happy tenth birthday.

Happy birthday to Miranda
and her buddies.

Happy tenth birthday, Miranda.

Oh, we're filming.

Such fun!

We hope you are dancing and singing

like no-one's watching.

Of course, we all are.

And we love you very much.

All that is left for me to say
is thank you.

Thank you from the bottom of my
heart to the Miranda family

out there for watching
and supporting a show

and all it stands for

that we really had no idea
would become so loved.

So I don't know whether this is
goodbye

or au revoir,
but thank you for joining.

And thanks to my incredible dancers,

the Kingdom Choir, McFly,

Ronan, Mamma Mia!,

and to sing us out
it's, of course, Heather Small.

CHEERING

# I look into the window of my mind

# Reflections of the fears
I know I've left behind

# So I step out of the ordinary

# I can feel my soul ascending

# I'm on my way

# Can't stop me now

# And you can do the same, yeah... #

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Excuse me, Miss Small.

I just think you might need
a bit of guidance here.

Oh... Oh, dear.
You see, you know the lyric,

"What have you done today?"

Well, of course she knows the
lyric. It's the title of the song!

Shush! I just feel that
I might do you better than you do.

Oh, no. Can I just... Can I...

It's more...
# What have you... #

Can you just have a go?

MOCKING: # What have you... #

So much better, just a bit more...

# What have you... #

# What have you... #

Yes! So much better?

Are you sure? Yes! Yes.

# What have you done today

# To make you feel...

# Pro-o-o-o-oud! #

CHEERING

# So I step out of the ordinary

# I can feel my soul ascending

# I'm on my way

# Can't stop me now

# And you can do the same

# Yeah

# What have you done today

# To make you feel proud?

# It's never too late to try

# What have you done today

# To make you feel proud?

# Yeah

# You could be so many people

# If you make that break for freedom

# So what have you done today

# To make you feel proud?

# Yeah, we need a change, yeah

# Do it today, yeah

# I can feel my spirit rising

# Change, yeah,
we need a change, yeah

# Got to do it today, yeah

# Cos I can see a clear horizon

# What have you done today

# To make you feel proud?

# Let me hear ya, let me hear ya,
let me hear ya

# What have you done today

# To make you feel proud?

# Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah
Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, yeah

# Cos you could be so many people

# Just make that break for freedom,
yeah

# So what have you done today

# To make you feel proud, yeah!

# What have you done today
So, what have you done today? #

CHEERING