Original subtitles

"After half a century of peace and prosperity

the fortunes of China's tang

dynasty begin to dwindle

revolts, droughts and famines visit on

a suffering people in succession

demons make their appearance too

the brave and the righteous,

these swordsmen of integrity

choose not to seek power

but to roam the countryside

righting wrongs as they travel"

Brother, buy me a drink

cheers!

Please, sir

tonight is yours

no, you first

brother, here comes an easy prey!

He has a sword

has he? I've got a sabre too

what will you have, sir?

Just make a few dishes for me

any inn in this vicinity, please?

Not in our

isolated place

haunted houses, maybe

waiter, wine

good

Please, sir

now it depends on you. Take care

master, after a hard journey

come here and sit down

what are you doing?

Master, you're handsome

you must be romantic

come drink with me, come over

I can't drink, I can't

bastard, molesting my wife?

Your wife? I didn't

I saw it. Don't deny!

Darling, he assaulted me

darling, he touched me

sex friend, you!

Brothers, beat him!

Don't try anything foolish!

It's female

so you enjoy posing as a man

let my brother show you

how to be a real man

what do you want? Let me go!

Brother, rape her!

Rape her!

Well, by popular request, I'll do it

move her up the table

rape her!

Help!

Rape her!

Let me go!

Help, help!

Put it on

I thought you'd leave me behind

I told you not to follow me

You won't be happy to be with me

our marriage was one arranged before our birth

My dad fixed it

marry my dad then

you're forsaking me! Let me die!

Are you out of your mind?

Only because you're forsaking me

well, follow me, if you please

that's better

let's go - yes

Go in

help, help!

Keep away, lousy dog, sick dog!

Keep away!

Please drive away that dog for me

thank you

go now

keep away

thank you

who are you?

Put me near an oil lamp, quick!

Otherwise, I'm finished. Come on, quick!

Thank you

hurry up

excuse me, please

Help me, Buddha!

A demon!

Don't misunderstand me, sir

I'm not a demon, I'm a monk

you're a monk?

Buddha be praised! You must be devout

forget minor rites

don't be stubborn

one must live and let live

have food, have fun and go freely

the rest are of no consequence

what's your priestly name, please?

How come you're now big and now small?

I am the reverend wick

a monk since childhood, to guard wick tower

facing the lamp day and night is boring

I have no one to chat with

I pour out my feelings to the lamps only

real or imagined, the wick

said to me one day

he taught me the incantation that shrinks me

but I might get burnt to death

if the lamp burns out before I change back

thank you

may I ask your names, please?

I'm chu chung, and he's liu...

Hsia-hui

greeting, mr chu, mr liu

don't stand on ceremony

call us by name

you keep him company

while I go in to change

mr liu has a sense of humor. Let's go in to chat

good, please - please

sit down

priest, what you told us just now...

They say life's a wick. It's gone, once burnt out

compared with the centuries-old universe

life's a speek only, right?

Forget it now

when you reach my age

you'll understand

priest, are you all right?

Chu, when were you born?

The 9th day, 5th moon, year of the rat

9/5, year of the rat

immediately before noon?

How do you know?

Great, congratulations!

Yours is maximum masculinity and strength, very rare

what did you say?

You won't understand no matter how I put it

in a word, you're extraordinary

we're like good friends

I've got good wine

let me get it for all of us

don't run around. Wait for me

An exceptional man

- you bloody monk! - Sex is nothingness

- and nothingness is sex - Why are you here?

Mr liu, no...

Miss liu, so you're a lady

you scoundrel. You peeped at my bathing!

No, I didn't see anything

how do you know

I'm a lady then?

Miss liu, don't blame me

first, I didn't know you were taking a bath

second, I didn't know you were female

creep, you're unworthy as a monk

you're obscene!

Enough, even a Buddha may flare up!

Nudity doesn't count for much

every creature is naked at birth

have you seen a chicken

or duck dressed?

Buddha be praised!

The tree of spiritual awakening is no tree, nor is the mirror a substance

nothingness won't get contaminated

I'm in no mood for your sutras

I've already suffered

you're a creep, a real creep!

Miss liu, if you deem that as a loss

come and feel me, knead me any way you like

come on

scare me?

Chu

priest

I told you not to move around

priest, that fairy in the portrait

is smiling at me

chu, no ideas

no illusions

undesirable ideas breed illusions

what I saw didn't look like illusion

men belong to earth; Spirits belong to hell

the combination of the two is a bad omen

chu, you'd better forget what you've seen

priest, you mean

what I saw is real?

Priest, how can I ever see her again?

Do me a favor, please

no, it's dangerous

I'm a wanderer with no worries; I'm not afraid

it could be fatal!

I'd die without regrets if I could see her once

evil!

I'll help you so as not to go against heaven's will

but you must promise me one thing

you must come back within 24 hours

well, I promise

don't take this as a precedent

If you hasn't returned when this incense burns out

you'll drift in the void without

ever getting back

turn this holy wheel

read this passage of sutras

and you can move freely

and when coming upon any danger

throw out the wheel and you'll be safe

remember

thank you

use the master's gold body to turn the wheel

to enter the lifeless tunnel

Buddha be praised!

Hands off!

Don't do it, it's damned!

Let go!

Mr chu

how do you know my name?

I'm yun I-meng

my dad is a famous fortune teller

he can tell the past and predict the future

after reading my fortune, he told me

I'd come upon a disaster at 17

don't cry. Confide it to me

he said I was fated to stay in hell for a period

before you'd appear to take me as your wife

don't worry, I won't hurt you

dad said my life is not yet over

after you marry me, your Yang can help

bring me back to earth

Your ladyship

where's I-meng?

In the room opposite

Why didn't you announce the presence of a guest?

I must host a feast for him tonight

yes, your ladyship

Buddha be praised!

Please don't knock anymore, I beg you!

A monk is delighted

by others reading sutras

why are you an exception?

You chanted and knocked all

night, disturbed my sleep

I won't do it anymore if

you tell me where chu chung is

what?

Well, come with me

come, come

where's he?

As I told you repeatedly, he's walked into the wall

you're lying again

See for yourself

how can such a strong wall be penetrated?

And I saw nothing inside from outside

you asked me but won't believe what I said

have you heard of hellgate?

What? Hellgate?

No, but not much different from it

this painting is a crossing between earth and hell

laymen like you won't understand

he entered it a long while ago. He should return now

this question is difficult to answer

don't you know the mess outside?

The court changed its

chicken farm policy

chu won't come out probably because

he prefers to stay inside

don't be silly, I was only joking

he'll come back for sure before the incense burns out

he won't forsake his life. Don't worry

they come and go freely, let it be

Chu, you came from afar. Let me toast you

in celebration

thank you

let's go over to tease him

ok

Brother-in-law, sister, let's toast you

come on, drink with arms locked

Sister, brother-in-law getting ruddy

chu, we're now of one family

let me toast you

your ladyship, I'm afraid master can't drink

let me drink it for him

no, it's from her ladyship to brother-in-law

sister can't drink it for him

I should drink it to appreciate

her kind thought

brother-in-law, drink it, you won't get drunk

brother-in-law, great!

I'm a bit drunk. I must return to retire

please

you go on

brother-in-law, one more

yes, one more

It's from me, drink it

well, I drink

this is my toast

take it easy

not yet finished

well, I drink

a good drinker

take this too

good

master

drink it now!

One more

you won't get drunk

drink this quickly

come on, you're a good drinker

come on, finish this

How's it?

Are you all right?

Where's I-meng?

Where's I-meng? Tell me!

She was abducted by old demon chia yuan

whereabouts unknow

we're at a loss what to do

where's chia yuan? Take me there right away

here it is

Which evil dares to destroy my gold body?

You not only defiled their virtue

but also abducted I-meng

hand over I-meng quickly!

What did you say? Which I-meng?

No more nonsense with him. He won't admit it for sure

fight with him!

There's no grudge between us. Why trying to kill me?

You...

Your day is near

you don't understand?

I know my sentimental brother-in-law

has a strong Yang

and only his blood can spoil

your immortal body

and put you to death

I acted to set him up

I've endured you for long

you as a guardian angel

forbid us from doing this and that

as of now I'll be the master

after eating your flesh

I can get out of the portrait and rule the world

Now let me take you to hell

don't!

Bring them back

get up!

Go

Go!

Miss liu, eat something first

no, thanks, I have no appetite

you must eat

priest, will he be in danger?

Not now

you can't tell in four hours

why?

The power comes from this wheel

but there's a time limit

when the incense burns out, the hellgate closes

what if he can't come back?

He'll be shuttling between earth and hell

he can't be a man or a ghost

priest, try something. Let me bring him out

stop dreaming, you're so fragile

after entering, you may not live to get out

you don't look well

get out of here quick to evert the disaster

I won't, even at death. I must wait for him to return

I-meng, you're beautiful

let's play

come, come

don't, keep away!

See you later

Keep away!

Load the blood

let's play

keep away!

Why am I not allowed to play?

Your ladyship, the hand of chia yuan

after another 49 days, I can

get out of the portrait

to rule the mundane world

Food is so coarse. Inedible!

Your ladyship

I've prepared good wine for you

bring it quickly

yes

bring it quickly

Sister

she's staring at us. Let's act

or we can't get over. Come on

Come on, let's play

don't get me involved

are you shy?

Who'd play with you?

Bring chu chung to my room right away

yes

Her ladyship wants me to take him away

yes

What are you doing? Using me to kill again?

Chu, I know it was my fault

but if I don't obey her

we may both get killed

don't think you can

convince me with that

I know I can't possibly convince you

well, let me take you out of the portrait

my wheel was taken away

by her. I can't leave

I'll get it back for you for sure

Why do you want to take him away?

Fox, her ladyship ordered sister to take him away

help me take him away

yes

Come in

go in

your ladyship, chu chung's here

Help him to bed

yes

Why are you two coming in?

To help you undress, your ladyship

Get out quick!

Are you deaf? I told you to get out!

Yes

Sister, keep cool, don't be impulsive!

I-meng

Sister

don't!

What happened?

We saw someone there

when we rushed in

after him!

I-meng

cut it out! Let me take you away

you stand no chance once she returns

look around over there

yes

Go

Sister, let me lure her away. You go with brother-in-law

chun-meng

get hold of them!

Yes

Help me turn the wheel

use the master's gold body to turn the wheel

to enter the lifeless tunnel

catch him!

Good!

It hurts!

Oh, no, finished!

Impossible, he'll be back for sure

incredibly, here he is!

Chu, are you all right?

Priest, his body is burning. What now?

He may have been hurt by chia yuan

it's finished

anything serious, priest? You must help him

chia yuan's axe is a sacred item from heaven

no layman can hold it because

of its heavy Yang content

unless...

Unless what?

Unless you find a girl ready to

sacrifice her virginity to marry him

to squeeze his Yang out

that's the only ray of hope

but it could be dangerous

I'll help him

you?

Right, I'll help him

good, start now

these braziers are arrayed according

to the ursa constellation

they absorb the essence of sun, moon and the auras of heaven and earth

proceed now

show me how to do it

ask the monk to show you?

Wait. Let me think

have you got any idea?

Yes. A monk has his six roots all cleansed

a layman's six roots are not clean

see if chu has got that root'

root?

Like this

no, too terrible!

This will do more or less

I've found it. What then?

Oh, what then?

I see. When I was a neophyte

some prostitutes arranged a religious service

that Abbot put all the monks

to the test

during the service, we all sat

with the 'wooden fish' between our legs

it's just like that now

what's the idea?

Those prostitutes wore sexy dresses

the Abbot said the louder the sound

the lustier the sinning monk

what happened then?

What happened? During the service

sounds could be heard loud and clear from every monk

only the Abbot. Silence

at first, we praised him for his endurance

but when he stood up, it was discovered

his staff had pierced the wooden fish

why?

Why? It was stuck up by that root

have you got anything

with you like the wooden fish?

You're evil. Enough, I understand

you asked me that. Why call me evil?

How's your wooden fish?

I'm ashamed to say it

you must

really?

Yes

well, listen

my wooden fish burst into pieces

so terrific?

You don't believe it? Don't ask then

it's important to save. Undress

I-meng

I-meng

I-meng

All right, be more intimate

I-meng

I-meng

Chu has hope now

miss liu, put on your clothes now

good

finished?

Yes

why has he not come to?

It's not divine

not so soon

how do you feel?

I'm all right, but a bit tired

only a bit?

What do you say?

Miss liu, you must take a rest yourself too

I'll go and collect some herbs for him

he'll be all right. Don't worry

take good care of him

I-meng

I-meng

I-meng, don't desert me

I-meng

I-meng, don't desert me!

Your ladyship, she's passing out

splash to sober her up

yes

Anyone with lusty desire

will end up like her

halt!

Who are you? What's your relation to chu chung?

I'm liu su-su, chu chung is my husband

you evils, your wreak havoc everywhere. Let me go!

Or I'll kill you all!

This young lady talks big

fox, teach her a lesson

yes

Stop!

Dare you to talk big again?

Take her to my bedroom and let me fix her

yes

how are we to dispose of this tramp I-meng?

Confine her in prison right away

I'll eat her to go with my drink

I-meng

you laymen are a real nuisance

you turn down someone who loves you

and insist on getting the one who doesn't love you

you nearly lost your life for the sake of love

I-meng

now you're getting me involved

be nice and drink it

where's I-meng?

Priest, where's I-meng?

Damn you, you're heartless!

You're still thinking of her now

if liu hadn't saved you

with her virginity

you'd have been in hell

su-su

how do you feel?

A little pain

triangular love is bad enough

but you're torn between earth and hell

see how you can cope with it

what has become of you?

I was used by an old lady to kill chia yuan

did you kill him?

Yes

that's serious, you've even killed chia yuan

it's going to be upside-down in hell

what sort of a person is that old lady?

She's not human, she's a wolf with 1,000 years' practice

only chia yuan can overpower her

miss liu's disaster is not yet over

priest, where's su-su?

Why ask her since you don't love her?

Let her go where she likess

where on earth is she?

It's sexual love again

I must thank mammy for having

made me a monk so early in my life

don't talk nonsense now

I talk nonsense?

I climbed up mountains picking herbs for you

and you said I'm talking nonsense?

I know your noble personality but I miss su-su

where's she?

Come with me

Only this little bit

Priest

don't count me in. I won't go to hell

they've both saved me once

if we can't get in, they'll die for sure

it's fate

you can't help it if they want to die

don't let me be buried with them

you're a Buddhist and you won't care to help

you can't go against heaven, understand?

Bring me the wheel

don't, don't be crafty!

Don't, you may die!

What now?

I told you against getting in to

get killed but you won't listen

but it's a fact I haven't had enough

dying this way is unfair

to myself

priest, don't you care about I-meng and su-su?

Let's all die together

hold that wheel

Disobey and you suffer right away!

Wait

Buddha be praised!

Yu-meng, it's you!

Brother-in-law, let me go first

no, who knows if she's good or evil

never mind

no more nonsense. I'll take you to help sister

I-meng, you are so tender-skinned

what a pity if you were eaten by that old woman

marry me, and I'll beg mercy from her

open up. I got orders to take her away

yes

Let me go!

Sin, sin!

Priest, are you all right?

Yes

you know a lady named liu su-su?

Yes, she sacrificed her life to save chu

you're...

The reverend wick

Buddha be praised!

Miss liu was captured. Go and help her quick!

But...

But what?

That old bag has eaten chia yuan's flesh and increased her power

we may not be able to overpower her

in any case, we'll fight

fight? It'd be death for sure

wait for me

let me go!

Let me go!

Help!

You won't suffer much if you're nice

don't, don't!

Take me to bed

take you to bed?

Don't you know I have esp? Look

hold it

hold it

Wait

Chu, don't let it burn out

my life now depends on you

how am I to contact you?

In a word, that lamp mustn't burn out

Be careful

who is it?

Your ladyship, it's me

come on, come and join in the fun

Big woman? What a sin!

What a smell!

When did you last wash your feet?

It stinks!

Who'd enter hell if I don't?

I'm damned to be a monk

now my life's practice

is gone!

What is it?

It stinks, it's sort of wet

It stinks. I'll kick you dead

damn, damn!

I'll kill you!

I-meng, are you all right?

Yes. Go and help liu first

Master

let's go!

Who are you? Come out quickly!

Devil, lay down your sword and be saintly!

Otherwise, your thousand years' practice is gone now!

Don't think I can't cope with

you when you're inside

wait and see

diarrhea, finished!

What a pity! Hurting yourself

I-meng

Run, run quickly!

Run quickly!

Run!

Use the master's gold body to turn the wheel

to enter the lifeless tunnel

Oh, no more oil!

Hold it

Are you ok?

Master

catch

Kill that devil

or I'm finished. Come on!

I don't want to die here. That'll deny me heaven

Try to burn her with fire

pour the oil quickly

Light the fire!

Help me, Buddha!

Su-su

how are you, su-su?

Miss liu

don't be sad. I didn't know that

we couldn't go against nature

cut it out!

I'd die in peace

if you were all right

no, you won't die

miss liu

I-meng, are you all right?

I-meng

yin and Yang are different. We must part anyway

never

take care!

Never!

Su-su

miss liu

su-su

I-meng

we won't part, we won't

I-meng

so luck's with me

priest

chu, you're out?

Miss liu really is...

We can't go against heaven. Buddha be praised!

Priest, I-meng may evaporate in no time

try to help her now!

Chu, don't worry

a mundane being sacrifices oneself for you

one in hell returns to earth

and is reborn

it's a swap between hell and earth

chu, fortune did smile on you

by dint of your strong Yang and true love

you can shuttle between earth and hell

and bring I-meng back to earth

Buddha be praised!

Thank you, priest

don't mention it

It's better to be an earthly man