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(birds chirping, dog barking)
2
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(snoring)
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>> MAN: Let's go.
4
00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:54,222
>> * I'm gonna leave you anyway
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I'm gonna leave you anyway
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Gonna leave you anyway. *
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(water running)
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>> GRETCHEN: Oh, I love your
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shower.
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>> JIMMY: Yeah, it's a good one.
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>> GRETCHEN: Me and this hand
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nozzle thingy have gotten very
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close.
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You're S.O.L., but trust me,
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it's amazing.
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>> JIMMY: Oh, I use it.
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>> GRETCHEN: How?
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>> JIMMY: I shoot it up my butt.
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>> GRETCHEN: You do?
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>> JIMMY: Sure.
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>> GRETCHEN: Oh, yeah!
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What do you know?
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(grunts)
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(clears throat)
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>> JIMMY: What?
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>> GRETCHEN: You missed a step
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in that process.
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>> JIMMY: Oh, no, it's just pee.
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Look.
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>> GRETCHEN: You-you sit to pee?
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>> JIMMY: Yeah, I sit whenever
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I can.
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I love sitting.
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Sitting's definitely in my top
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five favorite activities.
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>> GRETCHEN: What are the
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others?
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>> JIMMY: Eating things.
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Shutting stupid people down
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verbally.
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Bubble baths.
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Masturbating.
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>> GRETCHEN: Where's sex?
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>> JIMMY: Eighth probably.
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>> GRETCHEN: What about sex
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with me?
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>> JIMMY: Seventh, maybe sixth.
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Yeah, no, sex with you, then
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sleeping.
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Unless I have a flying dream.
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Then you're seventh.
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(clears throat)
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>> GRETCHEN: What's your day
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like?
55
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>> JIMMY: Oh, you know, tedious
56
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interactions with awful people.
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>> GRETCHEN: Weird. Mine, too.
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When are you gonna be home?
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My clothes from last night are
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still in your dryer.
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>> JIMMY: On the late side.
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>> GRETCHEN: Want to give me a
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key so I can get in?
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Jimmy?
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You using the hand thingy?
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>> JIMMY: Edgar can let you in.
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>> GRETCHEN: Yeah, but in case
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he's not home.
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Hey...
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Hey!
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I-I just meant a key to get my
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stuff; I didn't mean a key
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like... like that.
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>> JIMMY: Okay.
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>> GRETCHEN: I didn't.
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>> JIMMY: Okay.
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>> GRETCHEN: Okay.
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Good.
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But, I mean...
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>> JIMMY: God's sake!
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(huffs)
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>> GRETCHEN: Seriously, what if
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I had-- would that be any reason
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to shit yourself?
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>> JIMMY: Yes.
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>> GRETCHEN: We've spent the
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last five, six nights in a row
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together?
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>> JIMMY: 'Cause you fall asleep
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after sex!
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You're like a fat guy in an
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American sitcom.
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>> GRETCHEN: It's a key.
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It's a way to get in.
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>> JIMMY: No, it's not.
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It's...
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it's my freedom melted down into
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a metal totem.
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It means that there are rights
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granted and designations...
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designated.
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>> GRETCHEN: No, it doesn't.
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It's a...
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Oh, my God, you're right.
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>> JIMMY: I am?
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>> GRETCHEN: I must still be
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hungover.
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Thanks for calling me out.
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Momentary lapse of sanity.
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Jesus.
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>> JIMMY: Right, so, uh... are
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we gonna hang out later or...?
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>> GRETCHEN: I actually have
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plans.
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>> JIMMY: Okay.
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>> GRETCHEN: Well, as my grandma
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used to say, "It's only a walk
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of shame if you're capable of
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feeling shame."
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See you later.
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Thanks for doing all the sex
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stuff on me.
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(whistling)
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>> EDGAR: That's a frittata.
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>> JIMMY: Mm-hmm.
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>> EDGAR: It's an egg-based
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dish similar to an omelet.
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>> JIMMY: I know what a frittata
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is.
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>> EDGAR: This one has leeks and
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goat cheese.
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I saw the recipe on Rachael Ray.
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>> JIMMY: You're not supposed to
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watch her.
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The doctor said that your
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obsession with her is unhealthy.
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>> EDGAR: I know, but every
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minute that I'm watching her,
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I'm not doing heroin.
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Except sometimes I'm also
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doing heroin.
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>> JIMMY: You know, she asked
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for a key.
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>> EDGAR: Who?
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>> JIMMY: Rachael Ray.
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Who do you think?
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>> EDGAR: Rachael Ray could have
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a key.
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>> JIMMY: Can you believe she
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would do that?
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>> EDGAR: Well, I mean, keys
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open doors.
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>> JIMMY: It's not a key.
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It's a symbol.
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>> EDGAR: Of what?
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>> JIMMY: Of the unceasing,
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inexorable march of everything
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towards predictability,
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blandness and mediocrity.
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It's the Rachael Raying of the
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world.
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>> EDGAR: A cozy world full of
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home-cooked meals and graceful
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weight fluctuation?
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I'd live in that world.
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>> JIMMY: I honestly cannot sit
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there and pretend not to be
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horrified by things as
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unthought-out and unspecial as
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"Can I have a key," ruled by
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nothing more interesting than
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animal instinct to the point
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that I might as well be
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sleeping with a migratory bird
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or a leatherback sea turtle.
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>> EDGAR: I'm gonna eat your
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frittata.
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>> JIMMY: "Can I have a key?"
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I'll tell you what...
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How can you see this shit
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happening and just smile and be
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okay with it?
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How do you look at the person
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you're with and not just know
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that there's another person
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inside who's boring and lame
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and will eventually ask for
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emotional support and to shop
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together for decorative sconces
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at Williams-Sonoma.
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How can you just ignore
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that shit?
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>> EDGAR: I don't know.
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Because you like them, I guess.
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>> JIMMY: Yeah, well...
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I don't know how to do that,
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so...
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>> EDGAR: Well, it makes sense
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she'd be emotional today.
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>> JIMMY: I swear, if you're
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charting her menstrual cycle...
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>> EDGAR: It's her birthday.
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>> JIMMY: It is?
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>> EDGAR: Mm-hmm.
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>> JIMMY: Why didn't she tell
206
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me?
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(cell phone buzzing)
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Oh, it's Gretchen's.
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I better bring it to her.
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>> EDGAR: Hand it over.
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>> JIMMY: What?
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I'm not gonna snoop.
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I'm not!
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Aw...
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Aw, this is stupid.
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Y-You are stupid.
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I'm living with the stupidest
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person in America.
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Me, the smartest, and you, the
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stupidest, living together.
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You seriously think I'm not
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strong enough to break through
223
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what-- ten staples?
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>> EDGAR: Have a good day at
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school.
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00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:03,957
>> GRETCHEN: You've got to be
227
00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:05,158
kidding me.
228
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You're doing a juice cleanse?
229
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,561
You disgusting clichГ©.
230
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You're going to embarrass me at
231
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my diner.
232
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>> LINDSAY: Don't care.
233
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Day five.
234
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Gretch, you can't imagine the
235
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high.
236
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>> GRETCHEN: Mmm, bet I can.
237
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>> LINDSAY: No, you can't.
238
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>> GRETCHEN: Remember the time
239
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you and Chingy snorted K off
240
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:19,840
my vag?
241
00:07:19,873 --> 00:07:21,575
>> LINDSAY: Aw... yeah.
242
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This one is almond, flaxseed and
243
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,079
something called "whey runoff."
244
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:29,282
>> GRETCHEN: Mmm. Mmm.
245
00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:30,484
Mmm.
246
00:07:30,518 --> 00:07:31,685
>> LINDSAY: You don't understand
247
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how skinny the wives at Paul's
248
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,121
firm are, Gretch.
249
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I can't compete.
250
00:07:35,322 --> 00:07:36,490
>> GRETCHEN: So, don't try.
251
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Those Westside women are all
252
00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:38,926
overly-tanned garbage monsters
253
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,494
with fake tits.
254
00:07:40,528 --> 00:07:41,995
Hip bones jutting out of their
255
00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:43,196
Lululemons.
256
00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:44,431
>> LINDSAY: That's exactly what
257
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:45,265
they are.
258
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,800
>> GRETCHEN: So screw 'em.
259
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,001
Screw 'em, divorce Paul, start
260
00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:49,202
eating food, move back to the
261
00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:50,437
East Side, become goddamn
262
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:51,605
interesting again.
263
00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:52,806
>> LINDSAY: Wow.
264
00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:54,007
If it wasn't your birthday, I'd
265
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:55,208
be really hurt.
266
00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:56,443
>> GRETCHEN: Sorry.
267
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:57,611
This Jimmy thing has me all
268
00:07:57,645 --> 00:07:58,812
freaked out.
269
00:07:58,846 --> 00:07:59,813
>> LINDSAY: I warned you about
270
00:07:59,847 --> 00:08:01,014
him.
271
00:08:01,048 --> 00:08:02,015
I bet you guys talk about me all
272
00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:03,016
the time, huh?
273
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:04,017
How much it bugs me.
274
00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:04,985
>> GRETCHEN: Nope.
275
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:05,986
>> LINDSAY: Ew! You guys
276
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:06,987
probably, like, talk about me
277
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:07,988
during sex even.
278
00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,623
You guys are weird.
279
00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:10,624
>> GRETCHEN: I didn't mean the
280
00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:12,225
key thing like he took it.
281
00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:13,460
I don't think I did.
282
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,562
We're having fun.
283
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:15,796
That's enough.
284
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:16,997
>> LINDSAY: It better be.
285
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:18,198
He is a bad person.
286
00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:19,399
>> GRETCHEN: I'm a bad person.
287
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:20,400
>> LINDSAY: Ooh, are you still
288
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:21,401
seeing Mr. Fancy Director Guy?
289
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:22,402
>> GRETCHEN: It's complicated.
290
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:23,403
>> LINDSAY: Your life is so fun
291
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:24,572
and complicated!
292
00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:26,740
My life used to be fun and
293
00:08:26,774 --> 00:08:27,741
complicated.
294
00:08:27,775 --> 00:08:28,742
>> GRETCHEN: And now you're
295
00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:29,743
married to a banker.
296
00:08:29,777 --> 00:08:30,744
>> LINDSAY: Paul is actually
297
00:08:30,778 --> 00:08:31,745
VP...
298
00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:32,746
>> GRETCHEN: Oh.
299
00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:33,747
>> LINDSAY: ...of Wealth
300
00:08:33,781 --> 00:08:34,748
Management and Investment
301
00:08:34,782 --> 00:08:35,749
Strategies.
302
00:08:35,783 --> 00:08:36,750
(Gretchen snores)
303
00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:37,384
Idiot.
304
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:38,218
>> GRETCHEN: What?
305
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:39,219
>> BRIANNA: There you are.
306
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:40,220
I'm sorry, Gretchen.
307
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:41,221
Uh, your phone keeps going to
308
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:42,222
voice mail.
309
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:43,190
>> GRETCHEN:: Oh, I left it
310
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:44,191
somewhere. What's up?
311
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:45,192
>> BRIANNA: It's Sam.
312
00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:46,193
He did an interview.
313
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:47,194
>> GRETCHEN: Without consulting
314
00:08:47,227 --> 00:08:48,195
me? Who with?
315
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:49,196
>> BRIANNA: A college paper.
316
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:50,664
>> GRETCHEN: Oh. And?
317
00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:51,665
>> BRIANNA: He used the word
318
00:08:51,699 --> 00:08:52,833
"gay" and "faggot" 37 times.
319
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,001
>> GRETCHEN: As in "faggot is a
320
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,202
really terrible word, and gay
321
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:56,403
people are the best"?
322
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:57,605
>> BRIANNA: The reporter is the
323
00:08:57,638 --> 00:08:58,772
president of the Gay and Lesbian
324
00:08:58,806 --> 00:09:00,007
student union, and he's
325
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,675
threatening to go to the Times.
326
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:02,876
>> LINDSAY: Go.
327
00:09:02,910 --> 00:09:04,077
Breakfast is on me.
328
00:09:04,111 --> 00:09:05,278
Happy birthday.
329
00:09:05,312 --> 00:09:06,513
>> GRETCHEN: Nice try.
330
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:07,681
You still have to buy me a
331
00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:11,284
present... cheapskate.
332
00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:21,895
>> LINDSAY: Mmm.
333
00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:24,932
(engine revving)
334
00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:26,600
(opera plays on stereo)
335
00:09:26,634 --> 00:09:29,737
(phone chimes)
336
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:32,740
(phone buzzes, phone chimes)
337
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:34,107
(buzzing)
338
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:35,609
(man singing opera in Italian
339
00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:38,311
on stereo)
340
00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:40,748
(Jimmy sings along in Italian)
341
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,750
(phone chimes)
342
00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:45,819
(Jimmy sings along)
343
00:09:45,853 --> 00:09:47,087
>> JIMMY: * La-la-la, la-la-la,
344
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,922
la, la... *
345
00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:51,158
(grunting)
346
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:53,661
Oh, come on!
347
00:10:02,469 --> 00:10:04,137
(phone buzzes)
348
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:07,374
(phone buzzes)
349
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:11,411
(phone buzzes)
350
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,781
(phone chimes)
351
00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:20,153
>> JIMMY: Who the hell is Ty?!
352
00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:31,531
>> SAM: I stole you a card from
353
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:33,300
CVS, but I lost it on the way
354
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:34,467
over here.
355
00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:35,669
>> GRETCHEN: This is serious,
356
00:10:35,703 --> 00:10:36,870
Sam.
357
00:10:36,904 --> 00:10:38,105
>> SAM: Inside, it said, "You're
358
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,306
not just getting older.
359
00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:40,507
You're also getting less
360
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:41,341
attractive."
361
00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:42,342
>> GRETCHEN: You can't bribe me
362
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:43,343
with flowers.
363
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:44,344
>> HONEY NUTZ: It's a joke,
364
00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:45,345
because you're so young and
365
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:46,346
beautiful and shit.
366
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:47,347
>> GRETCHEN: What were you
367
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:48,348
thinking, doing an interview
368
00:10:48,381 --> 00:10:49,516
without me there?
369
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:50,517
To quote you, "I get nervous
370
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:51,719
at these shits."
371
00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:52,720
>> SAM: We were skating and
372
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:53,721
messing with college girls, and
373
00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:54,955
this skinny fool comes up and
374
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,523
says, can he ask some questions.
375
00:10:56,556 --> 00:10:57,725
>> GRETCHEN: Were you high?
376
00:10:57,758 --> 00:10:58,959
>> SAM: It was 10:00 in the
377
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,160
morning.
378
00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:01,361
Of course I was high.
379
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:02,362
>> GRETCHEN: And the whole time,
380
00:11:02,395 --> 00:11:03,530
you did not notice he was gay?
381
00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:04,732
Presumptively.
382
00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:05,966
>> SAM: Yeah, I mean, dude was
383
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,801
hella fruity, but so what?
384
00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:09,336
My generation-- we don't act
385
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:10,971
different around different
386
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:13,173
people, frontin' fake
387
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:14,374
personalities.
388
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:15,809
We cool with everybody.
389
00:11:15,843 --> 00:11:17,010
Except Shitstain.
390
00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:18,211
He don't like Koreans.
391
00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:19,412
>> SHITSTAIN: 'Cause of their
392
00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:20,580
manipulative currency
393
00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:21,815
devaluation.
394
00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:23,016
And they eyes.
395
00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:24,084
>> GRETCHEN: You called the head
396
00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:25,218
of the LGBT student union a
397
00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:26,419
"faggot."
398
00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:27,587
>> SAM: So? I call my pops that
399
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:28,822
all the time.
400
00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:29,990
>> GRETCHEN: Is your dad gay?
401
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:30,991
>> SAM: No. He's just a faggot.
402
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:31,992
>> GRETCHEN: Well, now I have to
403
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:32,993
go down there and deal with
404
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,194
this.
405
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:35,195
>> SAM: And do your job?
406
00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:36,396
Oh, no, Gretchen.
407
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:37,564
>> GRETCHEN: From now on, when
408
00:11:37,597 --> 00:11:38,565
you receive an interview
409
00:11:38,598 --> 00:11:39,767
request, spontaneous or
410
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,001
otherwise, what are you gonna
411
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:44,204
do?
412
00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:45,205
>> HONEY NUTZ: Politely direct
413
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:46,840
'em to your office?
414
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:48,241
>> GRETCHEN: Damn straight.
415
00:11:48,275 --> 00:11:50,277
Listen to Honey Nutz.
416
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:52,279
(Sam sighs)
417
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:55,382
>> JIMMY: Damn it.
418
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:57,550
>> GRETCHEN: Hey.
419
00:11:57,584 --> 00:12:00,620
>> JIMMY: Hey.
420
00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:02,089
Uh, I brought your phone.
421
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:03,290
>> GRETCHEN: Oh. Awesome.
422
00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:04,524
Thanks.
423
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:05,692
(Jimmy sputters, sighs)
424
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:06,693
>> JIMMY: Beep, beep.
425
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:07,694
(clears throat)
426
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:08,695
Oh, you got flowers.
427
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:09,696
>> GRETCHEN: Oh. Yeah.
428
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:10,697
>> JIMMY: Buy them yourself
429
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:11,698
or...?
430
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:12,766
>> GRETCHEN: No.
431
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:14,768
>> JIMMY: Ah.
432
00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:17,771
Special occasion of some sort?
433
00:12:17,805 --> 00:12:18,972
>> GRETCHEN: People send me
434
00:12:19,006 --> 00:12:20,207
flowers sometimes, Jimmy.
435
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,408
They want to see me happy.
436
00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:22,609
People like me.
437
00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:23,811
>> JIMMY: Oh, I know that.
438
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:25,045
Of course I know that.
439
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,480
So, what are you doing later?
440
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:28,882
>> GRETCHEN: I have plans.
441
00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:29,883
>> JIMMY: Fine! Bye.
442
00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:31,852
(clears throat, sniffles)
443
00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:35,923
>> SAM: Hey, can I get one of
444
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,124
those?
445
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:38,325
>> JIMMY: These are pretty
446
00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:39,326
expensive.
447
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,261
>> SAM: Don't be an asshole.
448
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:42,796
>> JIMMY: Fine.
449
00:12:42,830 --> 00:12:43,997
>> SAM: You're boning my
450
00:12:44,031 --> 00:12:46,633
publicist, right?
451
00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:47,835
>> JIMMY: Used to be.
452
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,069
>> SAM: Yeah, I Googled your
453
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,237
ass.
454
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,438
I liked your book.
455
00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:52,639
>> JIMMY: Really?
456
00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:53,841
Thank you.
457
00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:55,475
What did you like about it?
458
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:56,676
>> SAM: Obviously, I thought it
459
00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:58,145
was, like, boring as shit.
460
00:12:58,178 --> 00:12:59,612
And clearly, you used to jack
461
00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:01,514
off to Hemingway in high school,
462
00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:02,816
but the prose was good.
463
00:13:02,850 --> 00:13:04,017
>> JIMMY: Thank you.
464
00:13:04,051 --> 00:13:05,585
Enjoy your smoke.
465
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,154
>> SAM: Why'd you used to be
466
00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:08,355
boning her?
467
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:09,522
>> JIMMY: I don't know.
468
00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:11,992
We were never a real thing.
469
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:13,193
>> SAM: How come?
470
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:15,295
All I know is, I don't let
471
00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:17,130
nobody talk to me the way
472
00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:18,331
Gretch does.
473
00:13:18,365 --> 00:13:19,499
>> JIMMY: Yeah, me, neither.
474
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:20,968
>> SAM: Figure she must be
475
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,202
pretty dope if we both let her
476
00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:23,436
do that.
477
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:25,605
(Jimmy sighs)
478
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,140
>> JIMMY: Are you going back in?
479
00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:29,877
>> SAM: Yeah.
480
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:32,512
>> JIMMY: Give her this for me.
481
00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,051
Hey, do you know someone
482
00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:40,053
named Ty?
483
00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:52,399
>> DARREN: Then I was like,
484
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:53,566
"Girl, fix your weave."
485
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:54,801
>> GRETCHEN: Darren Kaplan?
486
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,003
>> DARREN: Yeah?
487
00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:57,004
>> GRETCHEN: I wanted to talk to
488
00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:58,005
you about Sam Halton.
489
00:13:58,038 --> 00:13:59,572
Maker's, rocks.
490
00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:00,807
>> DARREN: When you went into
491
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,009
PR, were you aware that you'd
492
00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:03,710
become an instant clichГ©?
493
00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:05,045
>> GRETCHEN: Snotty gay reporter
494
00:14:05,078 --> 00:14:06,046
is better?
495
00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:07,915
(guys chuckle)
496
00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:10,583
>> DARREN: Shoo.
497
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:11,584
What do you want?
498
00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:12,585
>> GRETCHEN: I just want to make
499
00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:13,686
sure my client's words aren't
500
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:14,687
taken out of context.
501
00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:15,688
>> DARREN: Don't worry.
502
00:14:15,722 --> 00:14:17,257
I'll provide lots of context.
503
00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:18,658
>> GRETCHEN: He's a moron.
504
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:19,659
He's not even old enough to
505
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:20,660
drink.
506
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:21,661
His opinions aren't fully
507
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:22,662
formed.
508
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:23,663
>> DARREN: We're on the dawn of
509
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:24,831
a revolution.
510
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,533
You wouldn't run around saying
511
00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:27,534
the "N" word, but people feel
512
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:28,535
free to say "fag" whenever
513
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:29,536
they want.
514
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:30,537
>> GRETCHEN: He says the
515
00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:31,871
"N" word all the time, too.
516
00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:33,173
He called wheatgrass the
517
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,241
"N" word yesterday.
518
00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:36,043
He was like, "Mmm, this 'N' word
519
00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:39,012
is... hella good for digestion."
520
00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:40,013
>> DARREN: You got anything
521
00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:41,014
else?
522
00:14:41,048 --> 00:14:42,015
>> GRETCHEN: No.
523
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:43,450
It's my birthday.
524
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:47,087
I didn't really prepare.
525
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,088
This is the point where I would
526
00:14:48,121 --> 00:14:51,891
normally try flirting with you.
527
00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:53,793
Okay, I tried.
528
00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:55,695
>> DARREN: Wait, that's it?
529
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:56,763
>> GRETCHEN: Look, I love my
530
00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:57,931
client like the black son I
531
00:14:57,965 --> 00:14:58,932
aborted in high school, but
532
00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:00,133
maybe you're right.
533
00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:01,368
Banning words is always the
534
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:02,569
misguided byproduct of good
535
00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:03,636
social movements.
536
00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:05,272
So, maybe his career is worth
537
00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:06,639
the sacrifice.
538
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:07,640
>> DARREN: I heard Caliber had
539
00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:08,641
a big hush budget.
540
00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:09,642
>> GRETCHEN: I can give you
541
00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:10,643
two grand-- that's it.
542
00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:11,644
>> DARREN: And he has to come
543
00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:12,645
give me another interview.
544
00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:13,646
>> GRETCHEN: Done.
545
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:14,647
>> DARREN: Happy birthday.
546
00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:15,648
>> GRETCHEN: Thanks.
547
00:15:15,682 --> 00:15:16,649
Congrats on choosing a
548
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:18,651
dying profession.
549
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:35,002
>> JIMMY: She can do whatever
550
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:36,003
she wants.
551
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:37,604
Just go home.
552
00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:39,006
Or go in there and ruin
553
00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:41,341
her date.
554
00:15:41,374 --> 00:15:43,343
Yep.
555
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,015
>> LINDSAY: Oh!
556
00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:49,016
Farts.
557
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:50,083
>> JIMMY: Sorry.
558
00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:51,318
Lindsay, what...
559
00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:52,419
>> BECCA: I'm saying, like, you
560
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:53,420
can tell, like, she just stuffed
561
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:54,421
it into a bag.
562
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:55,422
You know what I mean?
563
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:56,756
It's so sad.
564
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:57,991
>> LINDSAY: Hey, Jimmy, how's
565
00:15:58,025 --> 00:15:59,692
it going?
566
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:01,128
>> PAUL: Here, honey, oh.
567
00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:02,262
>> LINDSAY: Just...
568
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,663
>> PAUL: Hey, Jimmy.
569
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:04,664
Nice to see you.
570
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:05,665
>> JIMMY: Do you work here?
571
00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:06,666
Can I get a double whiskey,
572
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,201
neat?
573
00:16:08,235 --> 00:16:10,270
>> PAUL: Jimmy, it's Paul,
574
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,804
Lindsay's husband?
575
00:16:11,838 --> 00:16:12,805
We vacationed in Saint Lucia
576
00:16:12,839 --> 00:16:13,806
together.
577
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:14,807
Twice.
578
00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:15,808
>> LINDSAY: Just get him the
579
00:16:15,842 --> 00:16:16,943
whiskey, Paul.
580
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,179
Go.
581
00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:20,780
I lost eight pounds since you
582
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,215
saw me last.
583
00:16:22,249 --> 00:16:24,051
Can you tell?
584
00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:26,186
>> JIMMY: No.
585
00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:27,187
>> GRETCHEN: So, this is creepy.
586
00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:28,188
>> JIMMY: I know.
587
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:29,189
How could you not invite me to
588
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:30,190
your birthday drinks?
589
00:16:30,223 --> 00:16:31,191
>> GRETCHEN: I mean you just
590
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:32,192
showing up.
591
00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:33,193
>> JIMMY: Oh, I thought you were
592
00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:34,194
on a date.
593
00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:35,828
>> GRETCHEN: How is that better?
594
00:16:35,862 --> 00:16:36,829
Why'd you think I was on a date?
595
00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:37,830
>> JIMMY: Well, a text came
596
00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:38,831
through on your phone.
597
00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:39,832
>> GRETCHEN: You snooped?
598
00:16:39,866 --> 00:16:41,168
>> JIMMY: No, I... I couldn't
599
00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:42,902
figure out your password, so...
600
00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:43,903
>> GRETCHEN: What are we doing,
601
00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:45,905
Jimmy?
602
00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:51,411
>> TY: Happy birthday, you.
603
00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:53,012
It's from a winery in La CaГ±ada
604
00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:55,648
I'm a partial investor of.
605
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,217
>> JIMMY: Oh, where the 2 meets
606
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:58,585
the 210.
607
00:16:58,618 --> 00:16:59,586
Yeah, they say it's our
608
00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:01,688
RhГґne Valley.
609
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:03,190
>> GRETCHEN: Thanks, Ty.
610
00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:04,491
>> TY: Uh, Gretchen, this is
611
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:05,492
Element.
612
00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:07,026
>> GRETCHEN: LMN?
613
00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:08,061
>> ELEMENT: Element.
614
00:17:08,095 --> 00:17:09,929
Like oxygen, hydrogen.
615
00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:13,866
>> JIMMY: Arsenic, radon.
616
00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:15,268
>> TY: Ty Wyland.
617
00:17:15,302 --> 00:17:17,070
>> JIMMY: Sorry, Twine what?
618
00:17:17,104 --> 00:17:18,071
>> TY: Ty Wyland.
619
00:17:18,105 --> 00:17:19,239
>> JIMMY (whispering): I don't
620
00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:21,908
understand what he's saying.
621
00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:22,909
>> GRETCHEN: Uh, grab yourselves
622
00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:24,077
drinks.
623
00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:25,078
We're right over there.
624
00:17:25,112 --> 00:17:26,379
>> TY: We actually can't stay.
625
00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:27,747
Uh, we have a fund-raiser for
626
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:29,116
this very promising Guatemalan
627
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,117
reform candidate.
628
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:31,251
>> JIMMY: Ooh, heavily into
629
00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:32,719
Central American politics, are
630
00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:35,722
you, Element?
631
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:36,723
>> TY: Well.
632
00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:39,926
Happy birthday, again.
633
00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:42,028
(whispers): I need to see you.
634
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,797
Soon.
635
00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:47,434
Nice to see you guys.
636
00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:49,436
Okay.
637
00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:53,806
>> JIMMY: So that's why you
638
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:54,807
didn't invite me.
639
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:55,808
>> GRETCHEN: Also, I wanted to
640
00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:57,144
spare you Becca and Vernon.
641
00:17:57,177 --> 00:17:58,578
>> VERNON: Homeslice!
642
00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:00,447
Get your balls over here.
643
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,249
What? It's Jimmy.
644
00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:03,250
>> JIMMY: You could have just
645
00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:04,884
told me it was your birthday and
646
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,419
you were hanging with...
647
00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:07,920
friends.
648
00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:08,921
I wouldn't have come.
649
00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:09,922
>> GRETCHEN: It's not my fault
650
00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:11,558
my birthday came two weeks after
651
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:12,559
we started... whatever we're
652
00:18:12,592 --> 00:18:13,560
doing.
653
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:14,561
>> JIMMY: You thought he was
654
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:15,562
coming alone.
655
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:16,563
>> GRETCHEN: I didn't ask
656
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:17,730
for any of this to happen,
657
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:20,267
in this order.
658
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:21,334
>> JIMMY: You didn't do anything
659
00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:22,402
wrong.
660
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:24,604
Okay?
661
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:26,339
Look, I'm gonna go, okay?
662
00:18:26,373 --> 00:18:27,507
>> GRETCHEN: No, stay.
663
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:28,508
>> JIMMY: What, now that he's
664
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:29,509
gone?
665
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:30,743
>> GRETCHEN: Don't be a dick.
666
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:31,744
>> JIMMY: Fine.
667
00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:33,313
But if I'm in danger of getting
668
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:35,482
into conversation with anyone
669
00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:38,351
really annoying, just kick me
670
00:18:38,385 --> 00:18:39,519
under the table.
671
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:41,521
>> GRETCHEN: Deal.
672
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:46,693
Hey, guys.
673
00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:48,127
This is Jimmy.
674
00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:51,698
He's a... guy I'm sleeping with.
675
00:18:56,002 --> 00:18:56,969
>> LINDSAY: Jimmy.
676
00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:57,970
Sit next to me.
677
00:18:58,004 --> 00:18:58,971
Paul, can you get me a backup
678
00:18:59,005 --> 00:19:00,507
drink?
679
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:02,509
Go.
680
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:07,113
>> EDGAR: She asked me not to
681
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,114
tell you.
682
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,115
>> JIMMY: You're not my friend
683
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,116
anymore.
684
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,117
>> EDGAR: Can I still live with
685
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,118
you rent-free?
686
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,119
>> JIMMY: I guess so, yeah.
687
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,120
>> EDGAR: It was good to see
688
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,322
you.
689
00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:16,956
>> JIMMY: Um... hey, guys.
690
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:17,957
>> VERNON: Nice pull.
691
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:18,958
Bec didn't tell me you were
692
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:19,959
hitting that.
693
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,361
>> BECCA: Because I had no idea.
694
00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:22,562
>> VERNON: Jimmy, you got to see
695
00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:23,563
this photo my colorectal guy
696
00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:24,564
just texted.
697
00:19:24,597 --> 00:19:25,565
It's sick.
698
00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:26,566
>> JIMMY: No.
699
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:27,567
Aw!
700
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:28,568
>> BECCA: Just...
701
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:29,669
>> VERNON: Your loss.
702
00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:31,504
I'm getting us Jägerbombsters.
703
00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:32,505
>> BECCA: Ugh.
704
00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:34,073
>> VERNON: Jägerbombsters!
705
00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:35,208
>> BECCA: Did it even occur to
706
00:19:35,242 --> 00:19:36,376
you to tell me that you're
707
00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:39,011
sleeping with Gretchen?
708
00:19:39,045 --> 00:19:40,012
>> JIMMY: No.
709
00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:41,013
>> BECCA: You and Gretchen are
710
00:19:41,047 --> 00:19:42,549
poison people.
711
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:44,517
This is going to end so badly.
712
00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:45,652
>> JIMMY: I know, right?
713
00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:48,521
(laughs, sighs)
714
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:57,497
>> GRETCHEN: I'm glad you came
715
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:58,498
tonight.
716
00:19:58,531 --> 00:19:59,932
>> JIMMY: Stop.
717
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:01,334
>> GRETCHEN: Tough shit.
718
00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:02,502
I am.
719
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:04,036
You are growing on me,
720
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:05,772
Jimmy... Stupid-Three-Names.
721
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:07,440
>> JIMMY: You're drunk.
722
00:20:07,474 --> 00:20:08,441
Thanks.
723
00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:10,176
Ditto.
724
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,211
There is no way that that model
725
00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:14,046
is as good in bed as you are.
726
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,882
>> GRETCHEN: I know, right?
727
00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:17,717
Okay, that's weird.
728
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:19,286
Sorry about the key thing.
729
00:20:19,319 --> 00:20:20,287
>> JIMMY: Oh, yeah, speaking of
730
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,288
which, I should probably take
731
00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:22,289
back the one I gave Sam.
732
00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:23,290
That was my main key.
733
00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:25,124
>> GRETCHEN: You gave Sam a key?
734
00:20:25,157 --> 00:20:26,626
>> JIMMY: To give to you, yeah.
735
00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:28,428
>> GRETCHEN: Wait, so you wanted
736
00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:29,796
me to have a key?
737
00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:31,531
>> JIMMY: No, I just didn't want
738
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:32,932
you to be mad at me.
739
00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:34,066
>> GRETCHEN: I'm not.
740
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:36,536
I'm just embarrassed for asking.
741
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,738
>> JIMMY: Okay, good.
742
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:40,407
Wait, he never gave you the key?
743
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,775
>> GRETCHEN: No.
744
00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:44,777
(rattles door handle)
745
00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:50,283
>> SAM: Oh, shit.
746
00:20:50,317 --> 00:20:51,284
Hey, guys.
747
00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:52,285
>> JIMMY: What the hell are
748
00:20:52,319 --> 00:20:53,286
you doing?
749
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:54,287
>> SAM: Sorry.
750
00:20:54,321 --> 00:20:55,788
We needed a place.
751
00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:58,425
>> GRETCHEN: For what?
752
00:20:58,458 --> 00:20:59,426
>> DARREN: Hey.
753
00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:00,460
>> GRETCHEN: You're gay?
754
00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:02,462
>> SAM: No... but this nigga
755
00:21:02,495 --> 00:21:06,499
sucks really good dick.
756
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:07,467
Captioned by
757
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:08,067
Media Access Group at WGBH
758
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:10,102
access.wgbh.org
759
00:21:10,202 --> 00:21:11,170
>> * Chicken leg
760
00:21:11,203 --> 00:21:12,339
Chicken, chicken leg
761
00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:13,606
* Hey, chicken leg
762
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,107
Chicken, chicken leg, uh-huh
763
00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:16,175
* Chicken leg
764
00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:17,344
Chicken, chicken leg
765
00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:18,345
* You lookin' like a
766
00:21:18,378 --> 00:21:19,346
Popeye's biscuit
767
00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:20,947
* And I can be your butter
768
00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:22,181
And treat you like no other
769
00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:23,350
* I see that every single thing
770
00:21:23,383 --> 00:21:24,517
I utter makes you stutter
771
00:21:24,551 --> 00:21:25,752
* 'Cause it's utterly ridiculous
772
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:27,019
First there was a dance-off
773
00:21:27,053 --> 00:21:28,455
* Turning this gymnasium
774
00:21:28,488 --> 00:21:29,956
into a dance hall
775
00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:32,024
* She make me wanna get a job
776
00:21:32,058 --> 00:21:34,461
She make me wanna get a job
777
00:21:34,494 --> 00:21:35,962
* She make me wanna get
778
00:21:35,995 --> 00:21:36,996
a nine-to-five
779
00:21:37,029 --> 00:21:37,997
* Girl, you so fine, make me
780
00:21:38,030 --> 00:21:39,999
wanna get a nine-to-five. *
47950
