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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
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Hey, dude, I don't remember
the password. Let me in.
2
00:00:16,432 --> 00:00:17,669
I think someone's following me.
3
00:00:18,028 --> 00:00:19,132
Who?
4
00:00:19,298 --> 00:00:22,316
Get in here. It's the doc crew.
5
00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:24,486
You, too. Come on.
6
00:00:24,497 --> 00:00:26,033
When I ran away from Nandor,
7
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I didn't really know where to go.
8
00:00:27,739 --> 00:00:30,294
Guillermo!
9
00:00:30,746 --> 00:00:33,546
So I just flew for hours and hours.
10
00:00:33,557 --> 00:00:35,127
Which was a little cool because
11
00:00:35,138 --> 00:00:36,909
that was the longest
I've ever stayed a bat.
12
00:00:37,241 --> 00:00:38,344
But also not cool
13
00:00:38,355 --> 00:00:40,025
because I knew Nandor was trying
14
00:00:40,036 --> 00:00:41,331
to track me down to kill me.
15
00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:43,810
Eventually, I just
went to Derek because...
16
00:00:43,821 --> 00:00:45,124
I had no one else to turn to.
17
00:00:45,157 --> 00:00:49,398
I've just been laying low,
hiding for who knows how long.
18
00:00:50,534 --> 00:00:53,173
I wish they had Bravo here.
19
00:01:22,479 --> 00:01:27,479
- Synced and corrected by naFraC -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
20
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I think there was a van
21
00:01:29,938 --> 00:01:31,227
tailing me, they may have
been tailing you, too.
22
00:01:31,238 --> 00:01:33,647
- Derek, that was them.
- Whoa.
23
00:01:33,658 --> 00:01:35,607
- You guys are good. Respect.
- Derek, just promise me
24
00:01:35,618 --> 00:01:37,023
you haven't told anyone
else that I'm here.
25
00:01:37,034 --> 00:01:39,522
Guillermo, who would I tell?
Literally. My neighbor Chad?
26
00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:41,210
Because... yes,
actually, I did tell Chad.
27
00:01:41,221 --> 00:01:42,263
This is serious, okay?
28
00:01:42,274 --> 00:01:45,294
My master is actively trying to kill me.
Did you bring my meat?
29
00:01:45,305 --> 00:01:47,209
Yes, burgers, extra
rare, just like you asked.
30
00:01:47,220 --> 00:01:49,642
I tried hypnosis on the cashier
so I could get them for free.
31
00:01:49,653 --> 00:01:51,050
Turns out, I'm bad at it.
32
00:01:51,061 --> 00:01:52,535
So, um, I don't know if you use Venmo
33
00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:53,804
or maybe you're a Zelle guy...
34
00:01:53,815 --> 00:01:55,912
These are not raw.
35
00:01:55,945 --> 00:01:57,816
I can taste that they've
kissed the grill, Derek.
36
00:02:06,623 --> 00:02:08,226
- Sup, bitch?
- What the hell are you doing here?
37
00:02:08,237 --> 00:02:09,610
Did anyone see you? Get inside.
38
00:02:09,621 --> 00:02:10,757
No, and it wouldn't matter if they did
39
00:02:10,768 --> 00:02:13,685
because, hello, I'm in disguise.
40
00:02:13,696 --> 00:02:14,983
Stop dancing, get inside.
41
00:02:14,994 --> 00:02:16,120
How did you find me?
42
00:02:16,131 --> 00:02:17,834
Your friend Derek told
me where you were hiding.
43
00:02:17,911 --> 00:02:19,148
I paid him a little visit
44
00:02:19,159 --> 00:02:20,996
earlier today, see?
45
00:02:21,030 --> 00:02:22,232
So, that was you.
46
00:02:22,265 --> 00:02:23,400
Who did you think it was?
47
00:02:23,411 --> 00:02:25,449
She told me her name
was Detective Policeman.
48
00:02:25,460 --> 00:02:27,865
- That's funny.
- I'm gonna need you to do me a favor, buddy.
49
00:02:27,876 --> 00:02:31,902
Can you go to the market
and get me some raw, raw meat
50
00:02:31,913 --> 00:02:34,257
and make sure you don't
tell anyone where I'm at.
51
00:02:34,268 --> 00:02:35,380
- Can you do that?
- Can do, can do.
52
00:02:35,391 --> 00:02:36,787
- Thank you, buddy.
- Okay, great.
53
00:02:36,798 --> 00:02:38,869
- Okay. Thanks so much.
- See you guys in a minute.
54
00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:40,035
Idiot.
55
00:02:40,290 --> 00:02:42,406
Guillermo. Sit.
56
00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:46,468
You simply cannot talk to
the vampire who turned you
57
00:02:46,479 --> 00:02:47,816
with such disrespect.
58
00:02:47,849 --> 00:02:49,853
That is a sacred relationship.
59
00:02:49,886 --> 00:02:51,357
You have to protect him.
60
00:02:51,390 --> 00:02:53,747
Like we protect the Baron and the Sire.
61
00:02:53,758 --> 00:02:56,339
If anything was to
happen to that stupid man,
62
00:02:56,350 --> 00:02:59,403
the effects for you, my
friend, would be catastrophic.
63
00:02:59,414 --> 00:03:00,422
Yes.
64
00:03:00,433 --> 00:03:02,112
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have
spoken to Derek like that.
65
00:03:02,145 --> 00:03:04,249
I'm just a little bit on edge
with the whole, you know...
66
00:03:04,282 --> 00:03:05,819
Nandor trying to kill you thing.
67
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,173
- Awkward.
- Which, by the way, um...
68
00:03:08,184 --> 00:03:09,679
Any progress on that end?
69
00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:12,376
- Uh, yeah, um, a little.
- You talked to him?
70
00:03:12,387 --> 00:03:13,449
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
71
00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:14,903
- Yeah.
- What'd he say?
72
00:03:14,936 --> 00:03:17,331
Nandor, come on.
73
00:03:17,342 --> 00:03:18,644
I'm gonna murder him!
74
00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:21,404
Maybe if I write him a letter...
75
00:03:21,415 --> 00:03:24,085
Yeah, like if you wrote
him a suicide note,
76
00:03:24,096 --> 00:03:25,700
and actually followed through on it,
77
00:03:25,733 --> 00:03:28,572
then that would probably cool him down.
78
00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:34,417
Wow. They're really
going at it, aren't they?
79
00:03:35,542 --> 00:03:37,304
Why did I do this?
80
00:03:37,315 --> 00:03:39,153
Look, relationships evolve.
81
00:03:39,164 --> 00:03:41,834
Like me and those Antipaxon
people who work at the diner.
82
00:03:41,845 --> 00:03:45,162
At first, I was just using
them to get rid of my hex.
83
00:03:45,173 --> 00:03:47,076
But then it turned out...
84
00:03:47,308 --> 00:03:49,381
I really like hanging
out with those guys.
85
00:03:49,414 --> 00:03:51,117
I know you didn't mean...
86
00:03:51,150 --> 00:03:52,520
I know you didn't mean
87
00:03:52,553 --> 00:03:53,889
for things to turn out this way,
88
00:03:53,922 --> 00:03:55,826
but I think it's time
89
00:03:55,859 --> 00:03:57,262
you need to accept... You know what?
90
00:03:57,295 --> 00:03:59,099
Hang on, I cannot take this anymore!
91
00:03:59,132 --> 00:04:00,569
Yeah!
92
00:04:02,131 --> 00:04:03,960
It's hard, you know.
93
00:04:03,971 --> 00:04:06,016
To know that you've done something,
94
00:04:06,027 --> 00:04:08,306
that you messed up but you can't...
95
00:04:08,317 --> 00:04:10,645
fix it and...
96
00:04:10,656 --> 00:04:12,860
And she's joined them.
97
00:04:15,073 --> 00:04:17,837
Night after night, I hunt.
98
00:04:17,848 --> 00:04:21,895
I cannot rest until Guillermo
has taken his last breath
99
00:04:21,906 --> 00:04:25,690
and I feel his bones
crunch under my boots.
100
00:04:25,701 --> 00:04:27,557
So I've been watching the one place
101
00:04:27,590 --> 00:04:30,730
I know he will return to eventually...
102
00:04:30,741 --> 00:04:32,778
Panera Bread.
103
00:04:32,833 --> 00:04:34,804
I've got you now.
104
00:04:34,815 --> 00:04:36,394
He can run,
105
00:04:36,405 --> 00:04:38,176
but he cannot run far.
106
00:04:38,297 --> 00:04:40,784
Because he has very short legs.
107
00:04:42,672 --> 00:04:45,411
Guillermo, now you will die.
108
00:04:45,422 --> 00:04:47,594
I-I didn't do anything.
109
00:04:47,616 --> 00:04:51,566
Those that betray me will pay
the ultimate price, Guillermo.
110
00:04:51,577 --> 00:04:52,879
And this disguise
111
00:04:52,890 --> 00:04:54,561
that has slightly
altered your appearance
112
00:04:54,572 --> 00:04:55,841
does not fool me.
113
00:04:55,852 --> 00:04:57,556
I'm not Guillermo! I'm not Guillermo!
114
00:04:57,567 --> 00:05:00,156
I'm Patton Oswalt. I'm an actor.
115
00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:01,858
- Patton Oswalt?
- Yeah.
116
00:05:01,891 --> 00:05:03,172
- An actor?
- Yes!
117
00:05:03,183 --> 00:05:04,652
What would I know you from?
118
00:05:04,663 --> 00:05:06,433
- I was in Ratatouille.
- Is that a movie?
119
00:05:06,534 --> 00:05:08,262
It's... It was animated.
120
00:05:08,273 --> 00:05:09,589
I was the voice of a rat.
121
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,872
- I prefer live action.
- Uh...
122
00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,327
Do you know John Slattery?
123
00:05:13,338 --> 00:05:15,142
I don't know him
personally, I know of him.
124
00:05:15,153 --> 00:05:17,124
- He seems really cool.
- He is.
125
00:05:17,135 --> 00:05:19,607
Yes, I-I'm gonna pass out...
126
00:05:23,688 --> 00:05:26,975
- Oh...
- My apologies, Patton Oswalt.
127
00:05:26,986 --> 00:05:29,257
You are respectful, unlike Guillermo.
128
00:05:29,268 --> 00:05:30,739
I have been lying in wait for him
129
00:05:30,750 --> 00:05:32,654
on the top of that building there.
130
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:33,878
It's only a matter of time
131
00:05:33,889 --> 00:05:35,893
before he returns to Panera Bread,
132
00:05:36,085 --> 00:05:38,882
like a gazelle to his watering hole.
133
00:05:38,893 --> 00:05:41,671
And when he does, I will strike.
134
00:05:41,682 --> 00:05:43,720
Are you sure it's that Panera Bread?
135
00:05:43,731 --> 00:05:45,369
- What do you mean?
- There's a lot of Panera Breads.
136
00:05:45,380 --> 00:05:47,317
They're... They're all over the city.
137
00:05:47,888 --> 00:05:48,923
Shit.
138
00:05:52,199 --> 00:05:53,460
Who is it?
139
00:05:53,470 --> 00:05:54,813
Gigi?
140
00:05:54,824 --> 00:05:56,197
- Hello.
- What are you doing here?
141
00:05:56,208 --> 00:05:57,643
- How did you find me?
- Oh, I just...
142
00:05:57,654 --> 00:06:01,373
took a map of Staten Island
and laid it over a grid
143
00:06:01,384 --> 00:06:03,379
and looked for any motel
that shared a square
144
00:06:03,390 --> 00:06:05,686
with an Arby's, a party
store or a sweater shop.
145
00:06:05,697 --> 00:06:07,535
Well, I'm not near any of those things.
146
00:06:07,546 --> 00:06:09,550
Yeah, I know, so I just asked Nadja.
147
00:06:10,066 --> 00:06:11,581
Great. What do you want?
148
00:06:11,592 --> 00:06:13,830
First off, I just want
to wish you good luck.
149
00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:16,814
You're a nice enough guy
caught in a bad sitch.
150
00:06:16,847 --> 00:06:19,787
I-I don't think any of us were
hoping for this outcome for you.
151
00:06:19,820 --> 00:06:20,980
Thank you.
152
00:06:20,991 --> 00:06:26,092
Secondly, I am here to
conduct your exit interview,
153
00:06:26,103 --> 00:06:27,803
from your job as a familiar.
154
00:06:27,814 --> 00:06:30,762
And also your life, so...
155
00:06:30,773 --> 00:06:33,815
Have a seat. I don't want to
take up too much of your time,
156
00:06:33,848 --> 00:06:36,438
I know it's valuable.
157
00:06:36,449 --> 00:06:38,713
Because there's so little of it left.
158
00:06:38,724 --> 00:06:39,894
Okay.
159
00:06:39,905 --> 00:06:43,890
Familiar exit interview, 10:47 p.m.,
160
00:06:43,901 --> 00:06:46,555
Colin Robinson conducting interview.
161
00:06:46,566 --> 00:06:48,233
Um, Mr. de la "Cruzz,"
162
00:06:48,244 --> 00:06:51,550
what's prompting you to leave your job?
163
00:06:51,583 --> 00:06:53,221
Nandor trying to kill me.
164
00:06:53,254 --> 00:06:57,144
And... what was your
salary as a familiar?
165
00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,197
Oh, I don't get paid.
166
00:06:58,208 --> 00:07:01,281
No, but honestly, for this to work,
167
00:07:01,292 --> 00:07:03,297
I kind of need a ballpark figure.
168
00:07:03,374 --> 00:07:04,843
$500, $550 a week?
169
00:07:04,876 --> 00:07:06,331
- I don't get paid.
- Uh-huh.
170
00:07:06,342 --> 00:07:08,239
And do you think we can get away with
171
00:07:08,250 --> 00:07:10,188
not paying the next person?
172
00:07:10,243 --> 00:07:12,481
Okay. This interview's over.
173
00:07:12,656 --> 00:07:15,186
Interview concluded by subject
174
00:07:15,197 --> 00:07:19,417
who was cooperative and
at times almost articulate.
175
00:07:19,428 --> 00:07:20,896
Okay, thank you.
176
00:07:20,907 --> 00:07:23,053
This is just from me.
177
00:07:23,064 --> 00:07:25,185
It was nice having you in the house.
178
00:07:25,196 --> 00:07:26,403
Thanks, Colin.
179
00:07:26,414 --> 00:07:30,462
"Jay Sturkel, Quarter
Four Sales Leader, 1977."
180
00:07:30,473 --> 00:07:34,169
I got it at estate sale,
but y-you get the drift.
181
00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:37,394
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
182
00:07:39,619 --> 00:07:42,032
I think what bugs me the most
183
00:07:42,043 --> 00:07:44,989
is that I have given
Guillermo my friendship.
184
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,518
This is a gift I do
not give to just anyone.
185
00:07:47,529 --> 00:07:51,094
Uh, you know, friendship
has to be... earned.
186
00:07:51,105 --> 00:07:52,642
How is your, um...
187
00:07:52,653 --> 00:07:54,250
- Turkey Bacon Bravo.
- Yes.
188
00:07:54,261 --> 00:07:55,630
It is, it's good.
189
00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:57,319
And I usually get the
bread bowls here...
190
00:07:57,330 --> 00:07:58,618
I think what it is
191
00:07:58,651 --> 00:08:02,211
is that I thought
Guillermo had earned it.
192
00:08:03,106 --> 00:08:05,900
You are a good listener, Patton Oswalt.
193
00:08:05,911 --> 00:08:07,991
You know, it's funny
because something like this
194
00:08:08,002 --> 00:08:11,068
happened with me a couple
years ago with my manager, we...
195
00:08:11,079 --> 00:08:13,343
- Shh. Just listen.
- Oh...
196
00:08:13,354 --> 00:08:14,950
We are not talking about you right now,
197
00:08:14,983 --> 00:08:16,687
are we, Patton Oswalt?
198
00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:18,385
- No, we're not.
- Mm.
199
00:08:18,396 --> 00:08:20,534
- So, go on.
- Thank you.
200
00:08:28,165 --> 00:08:29,246
Who is it?
201
00:08:29,257 --> 00:08:30,893
Housekeeping.
202
00:08:30,948 --> 00:08:33,134
- I should ask how you found out where...
- Shh, shh.
203
00:08:33,145 --> 00:08:34,147
What?
204
00:08:35,458 --> 00:08:37,662
I'm guessing you're content with your...
205
00:08:37,695 --> 00:08:39,725
toilet paper situation?
206
00:08:39,736 --> 00:08:41,139
Yes, thank you.
207
00:08:41,150 --> 00:08:42,672
All right.
208
00:08:42,769 --> 00:08:44,256
Then I will...
209
00:08:44,267 --> 00:08:47,036
leave you to watch the
television for the evening.
210
00:08:47,047 --> 00:08:49,820
And I will say... goodbye.
211
00:08:49,853 --> 00:08:51,557
- Sit down.
- What's going on?
212
00:08:51,590 --> 00:08:54,530
I must apologize, Gizmo, I
feel like I've let you down.
213
00:08:54,563 --> 00:08:55,865
All those science experiments,
214
00:08:55,898 --> 00:08:57,536
they were nothing but a blind alley.
215
00:08:57,569 --> 00:08:58,985
Laszlo, you tried your best.
216
00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:00,566
No, there's been something I...
217
00:09:00,667 --> 00:09:02,401
You-you should probably
put something on
218
00:09:02,412 --> 00:09:03,781
that's a bit louder than this.
219
00:09:03,792 --> 00:09:05,763
Otherwise, it won't
drown our voices out.
220
00:09:06,007 --> 00:09:07,711
That's better.
221
00:09:07,722 --> 00:09:10,829
I've known you since you
were a young familiar.
222
00:09:10,862 --> 00:09:12,699
And I may have been
hard on you in the past,
223
00:09:12,732 --> 00:09:14,647
and, uh...
224
00:09:14,658 --> 00:09:16,228
Could you put something that...
225
00:09:16,239 --> 00:09:18,210
is as loud but less percussive?
226
00:09:18,221 --> 00:09:20,172
Sport, yes, that's better.
227
00:09:20,183 --> 00:09:21,884
And I say, does that thing have any...
228
00:09:21,917 --> 00:09:24,289
programs of the adult variety?
229
00:09:25,184 --> 00:09:27,643
Uh, I suppose, yeah.
230
00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:29,366
There you go.
231
00:09:29,582 --> 00:09:31,604
You were saying?
232
00:09:31,637 --> 00:09:33,181
- Sorry?
- You were saying?
233
00:09:33,191 --> 00:09:35,578
Yes. I was saying...
234
00:09:35,611 --> 00:09:37,767
I've known you since you were...
235
00:09:38,262 --> 00:09:39,899
a young fa...
236
00:09:40,416 --> 00:09:41,878
What do you think they're gonna do?
237
00:09:41,889 --> 00:09:43,327
- Yeah, Laszlo...
- Yes, yes,
238
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:45,932
s-sorry, since you
were a young familiar.
239
00:09:45,943 --> 00:09:48,616
And, uh, I'm about to
tell you something now
240
00:09:48,958 --> 00:09:50,408
that I've never told anyone else before.
241
00:09:52,478 --> 00:09:54,383
- L-Laszlo?
- Good grief.
242
00:09:54,897 --> 00:09:55,952
You were going to tell me something
243
00:09:55,985 --> 00:09:58,023
- you never told anyone before... ?
- Shh.
244
00:09:58,034 --> 00:09:59,482
You might have to give me a minute.
245
00:09:59,493 --> 00:10:01,450
So, yeah, even Laszlo came by.
246
00:10:01,461 --> 00:10:02,964
If I would've known how...
247
00:10:03,032 --> 00:10:04,670
my last couple of days would play out,
248
00:10:04,703 --> 00:10:06,373
how the last couple of months...
249
00:10:06,384 --> 00:10:08,518
I would've never asked Derek to turn me.
250
00:10:08,529 --> 00:10:09,780
It's not that I don't want to die,
251
00:10:09,813 --> 00:10:11,430
and trust me, I really,
really don't want to die,
252
00:10:11,441 --> 00:10:15,138
but I'm just more afraid
of losing the vampires.
253
00:10:15,391 --> 00:10:16,544
My friends.
254
00:10:16,555 --> 00:10:18,553
I always figured if I
got turned into a vampire
255
00:10:18,564 --> 00:10:21,309
that it would... bring
me closer to them.
256
00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:24,259
But it's just left me
feeling more alone than ever.
257
00:10:25,730 --> 00:10:27,649
Nandor, can I ask you a question?
258
00:10:27,682 --> 00:10:29,076
Yes, Patton Oswalt.
259
00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:33,404
Your friendship with Guillermo
is very special, right?
260
00:10:33,844 --> 00:10:35,467
I thought it was.
261
00:10:35,478 --> 00:10:36,978
And I bet...
262
00:10:37,815 --> 00:10:40,421
killing a friend...
263
00:10:40,820 --> 00:10:41,976
would really hurt.
264
00:10:41,987 --> 00:10:44,048
I imagine it would be
one of the worst feelings
265
00:10:44,081 --> 00:10:45,818
a person could have.
266
00:10:45,851 --> 00:10:48,056
So, what if you...
267
00:10:48,089 --> 00:10:50,060
repair the friendship?
268
00:10:50,071 --> 00:10:52,329
- You repair it...
- So you're saying
269
00:10:52,340 --> 00:10:54,803
that I should not kill my former friend?
270
00:10:54,836 --> 00:10:57,074
- Uh, yes, you-you...
- This is your suggestion?
271
00:10:57,107 --> 00:10:58,458
Well, you know, you rebuild...
272
00:10:58,469 --> 00:11:01,378
After hearing my tale
of deceit and betrayal?
273
00:11:01,389 --> 00:11:05,132
All that betray me must be destroyed.
274
00:11:05,143 --> 00:11:06,894
- Wait, wait...
- Goodbye, Patton Oswalt.
275
00:11:11,876 --> 00:11:14,789
He does make a good point, though.
276
00:11:16,596 --> 00:11:20,154
... arm, and a block of...
277
00:11:22,135 --> 00:11:23,538
Of course.
278
00:11:23,693 --> 00:11:27,435
Hi. I just came by to
pay you my condolences.
279
00:11:27,468 --> 00:11:30,726
"Sorry for your loss of your life."
280
00:11:30,737 --> 00:11:32,425
Is there anyone who
doesn't know that I'm here?
281
00:11:32,436 --> 00:11:35,840
Well, I'm usually the last
one to know, so probably not.
282
00:11:35,851 --> 00:11:36,898
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
283
00:11:36,909 --> 00:11:38,672
And then I also brought some friends
284
00:11:38,683 --> 00:11:40,450
who wanted to say goodbye.
285
00:11:40,461 --> 00:11:42,174
Hiya, Daddy.
286
00:11:42,185 --> 00:11:44,035
- Hey.
- Guide lady said you're going off
287
00:11:44,068 --> 00:11:45,387
- to a big, beautiful...
- Hey, big guy.
288
00:11:45,398 --> 00:11:47,107
... farm in the sky.
289
00:11:47,118 --> 00:11:48,923
- Can we come?
- Oh...
290
00:11:48,934 --> 00:11:50,372
- No, buddy.
- Aw.
291
00:11:50,383 --> 00:11:54,525
There's no room at the farm.
292
00:11:54,536 --> 00:11:56,079
"In the death of a good man,
293
00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:58,194
eternity is seen looking through time."
294
00:11:58,590 --> 00:12:00,394
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.
295
00:12:00,405 --> 00:12:02,743
Okay.
296
00:12:03,001 --> 00:12:05,276
So... Oh.
297
00:12:05,287 --> 00:12:07,549
Sorry. Hola, Ma.
298
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,898
Hello, Guillermo.
299
00:12:10,068 --> 00:12:12,588
- I've been looking for you.
- Where are you?
300
00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:16,555
Oh, I'm right here having a nice
conversation with your mother.
301
00:12:16,566 --> 00:12:19,105
In her apartment. Where she lives.
302
00:12:19,116 --> 00:12:20,653
My mother has nothing to do with this.
303
00:12:20,708 --> 00:12:22,178
If you touch her, I swear...
304
00:12:25,059 --> 00:12:27,017
Well, you know where I am.
Why don't you come over here
305
00:12:27,028 --> 00:12:28,798
and we can discuss what happens next.
306
00:12:29,354 --> 00:12:30,864
I have to go.
307
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:32,305
- Bye, Daddy.
- Have you checked out already?
308
00:12:32,316 --> 00:12:35,263
- Or is it okay if we hang here?
- He's not coming back.
309
00:12:37,380 --> 00:12:39,464
Ah, come on, you stupid...
310
00:12:42,791 --> 00:12:44,930
- Get away from her.
- Guillermo.
311
00:12:48,148 --> 00:12:50,705
I'll be back, okay? ¿Cómo está, mijo?
312
00:12:50,716 --> 00:12:52,539
- Hey, Mami.
- Mwah.
313
00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:54,475
Don't be long, Sylvia.
314
00:12:54,486 --> 00:12:58,311
Still want to see the photographs
of Guillermo in this gotico phase.
315
00:12:58,322 --> 00:13:00,502
You can kill me if you want,
but you leave her out of this, okay?
316
00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:02,333
Oh, I know I could kill you.
317
00:13:02,344 --> 00:13:04,016
And you'd deserve it.
318
00:13:09,004 --> 00:13:12,167
But I have decided not to.
319
00:13:12,178 --> 00:13:13,338
Yeah, well, I don't believe you.
320
00:13:13,349 --> 00:13:15,653
No, of course you don't.
321
00:13:16,051 --> 00:13:18,412
But something happened recently and...
322
00:13:19,069 --> 00:13:20,638
it's made me change my mind.
323
00:13:20,649 --> 00:13:24,355
- Oh, yeah? What?
- My friend Patton Oswalt.
324
00:13:24,366 --> 00:13:27,175
He passed away quite
suddenly. And, um...
325
00:13:27,208 --> 00:13:30,681
it didn't feel good losing a friend.
326
00:13:30,692 --> 00:13:34,160
- How do I know you're telling the truth?
- Because I give you my word as a vampire.
327
00:13:34,171 --> 00:13:37,912
- Not good enough.
- Then I give you my word...
328
00:13:38,546 --> 00:13:39,866
as a warrior.
329
00:13:47,241 --> 00:13:48,984
Translation:
330
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:50,799
"If I'm lying...
331
00:13:52,757 --> 00:13:54,561
then kill me now."
332
00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:05,058
Then it is settled.
333
00:14:05,069 --> 00:14:07,177
You'll come home with me, alive.
334
00:14:07,188 --> 00:14:08,290
Mami, no!
335
00:14:10,995 --> 00:14:12,131
Wow, that worked.
336
00:14:12,165 --> 00:14:13,768
- Mm?
- Hmm?
337
00:14:15,525 --> 00:14:16,995
We return with news.
338
00:14:17,006 --> 00:14:19,245
I no longer plan to kill Guillermo.
339
00:14:19,256 --> 00:14:20,258
- Yay.
- Yay.
340
00:14:20,269 --> 00:14:22,313
He will live here in
this house, with us,
341
00:14:22,324 --> 00:14:24,054
as an equal.
342
00:14:24,087 --> 00:14:25,363
As a vampire.
343
00:14:25,374 --> 00:14:28,719
- Boo.
- Where once we were four, we are now five.
344
00:14:28,730 --> 00:14:30,223
I think your math is off.
345
00:14:30,234 --> 00:14:32,238
If I had known Gizmo was
going to stay with us,
346
00:14:32,271 --> 00:14:34,496
I would've said just kill
him and be done with it.
347
00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:35,669
Where is he going to sit?
348
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:38,520
I-I'm not giving up my seat.
So where is he going to sit?
349
00:14:38,531 --> 00:14:41,690
Hold on a second. Gizmo
cannot fully become a vampire
350
00:14:41,701 --> 00:14:43,305
due to his Van Helsing blood.
351
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:44,491
Laszlo, Laszlo,
352
00:14:44,502 --> 00:14:47,089
with all your experiments
and your notetaking,
353
00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:49,339
and your weird-ass, hybrid freaks,
354
00:14:49,372 --> 00:14:51,786
you never thought of
the simplest solution.
355
00:14:51,797 --> 00:14:55,570
- Which is?
- You never got Guillermo to drink human blood.
356
00:14:56,063 --> 00:14:59,792
- Wait. Y-You never thought of that?
- Shut up.
357
00:15:01,089 --> 00:15:03,322
- I don't think I can do this.
- You must.
358
00:15:03,333 --> 00:15:04,903
Or else you'll be eternally frozen
359
00:15:04,936 --> 00:15:07,241
in this painful,
unending limbo. Now drink.
360
00:15:09,032 --> 00:15:10,728
- Come on, Guillermo.
- Drink, bitch.
361
00:15:10,738 --> 00:15:12,181
- Yeah, drink it, bitch.
- Yes. Drink it.
362
00:15:12,191 --> 00:15:13,259
Swallow it all.
363
00:15:13,270 --> 00:15:14,700
- Drink. Drink.
- Suck on it, baby. Come on, drink!
364
00:15:14,711 --> 00:15:15,721
- Swallow it.
- Drink.
365
00:15:15,732 --> 00:15:16,860
- Drink.
- Oi, drink.
366
00:15:16,871 --> 00:15:18,766
- Drink. Drink.
- Drink it. Take it like a man.
367
00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:23,018
Fangs.
368
00:15:23,029 --> 00:15:24,328
Wow.
369
00:15:24,339 --> 00:15:27,014
- Ah.
- I've never felt more alive.
370
00:15:27,047 --> 00:15:28,393
I really should've thought of that.
371
00:15:28,404 --> 00:15:30,075
I'm a vampire.
372
00:15:30,086 --> 00:15:31,770
I'm a vampire!
373
00:15:31,781 --> 00:15:34,830
- I'm a vampire!
- Yahoo.
374
00:15:34,863 --> 00:15:35,873
Yep.
375
00:15:35,884 --> 00:15:37,355
Nicely done.
376
00:15:40,321 --> 00:15:42,708
One sip of blood and he's
like Cornholio over here.
377
00:15:43,847 --> 00:15:45,016
Yes.
378
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:46,164
He likes that.
379
00:15:46,219 --> 00:15:47,889
Ooh.
380
00:15:48,401 --> 00:15:50,862
Behold what I've become.
381
00:15:50,873 --> 00:15:52,787
Yes, yes, we've all been there.
382
00:15:52,798 --> 00:15:54,535
Why are we all sitting on our asses?
383
00:15:54,675 --> 00:15:56,312
Let's do something! What do we do next?
384
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:59,162
- Get a broom.
- Now, we hunt!
385
00:15:59,173 --> 00:16:01,681
I'm sorry, Mommy needs to eat.
386
00:16:01,692 --> 00:16:03,822
Hunt, hunt, hunt!
387
00:16:03,833 --> 00:16:05,002
Hunt, hunt!
388
00:16:05,190 --> 00:16:06,926
FOMO.
389
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:16,688
Which reminds me, what's the
fastest way to become a millionaire?
390
00:16:16,699 --> 00:16:20,120
You start as a billionaire
and buy a winery.
391
00:16:20,153 --> 00:16:22,759
Just a little wine humor for you.
392
00:16:22,792 --> 00:16:24,094
Oh.
393
00:16:24,127 --> 00:16:25,331
Sommeliers are a dying breed...
394
00:16:25,342 --> 00:16:27,947
Oh. I've eaten too much. I feel sick.
395
00:16:27,958 --> 00:16:29,089
Go on, Guillermo.
396
00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:32,106
I bonked this one on
the head just for you.
397
00:16:32,337 --> 00:16:33,973
They're much easier to drain and kill
398
00:16:33,984 --> 00:16:35,722
when they're not wriggling around.
399
00:16:35,733 --> 00:16:37,843
Oh, no, I-I'm actually not that hungry.
400
00:16:37,854 --> 00:16:40,750
Okay, well, FYI, if you leave
them hanging around too long
401
00:16:40,761 --> 00:16:44,291
when they're unconscious,
their blood, it loses its zing.
402
00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:49,011
I've never killed anyone before.
403
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:51,527
I mean, I guess dozens of vampires.
404
00:16:51,538 --> 00:16:53,108
And I did bring humans
405
00:16:53,119 --> 00:16:55,302
to the vampires so they could kill them.
406
00:16:55,313 --> 00:16:56,515
And I've dismembered,
407
00:16:56,526 --> 00:16:58,153
like, a ton of dead bodies.
408
00:16:58,164 --> 00:17:00,968
But back at the restaurant,
that was a real living person.
409
00:17:00,979 --> 00:17:02,974
And when I leaned in to take...
410
00:17:03,304 --> 00:17:04,363
I could...
411
00:17:04,374 --> 00:17:06,630
smell their shampoo
412
00:17:06,641 --> 00:17:08,545
and all I kept thinking was
413
00:17:08,702 --> 00:17:10,243
this guy was at CVS
414
00:17:10,254 --> 00:17:12,157
just sniffing away all these shampoos
415
00:17:12,168 --> 00:17:13,814
and says, "Eh, I think I'll get this one
416
00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:16,221
because it reminds me of where
I used to go camping as a kid."
417
00:17:17,902 --> 00:17:19,773
I can't do this, I'm sorry. Could we...
418
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:21,976
I can't...
419
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:36,758
Just as I feared.
420
00:17:37,721 --> 00:17:41,128
Guillermo is not cut
out to be a vampire.
421
00:17:42,477 --> 00:17:44,948
I will fix.
422
00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:50,946
You summoned me?
423
00:17:50,957 --> 00:17:52,995
Yes, I wish for Guillermo...
424
00:17:53,006 --> 00:17:55,712
Eh, eh, you ran out of
wishes a long time ago.
425
00:17:55,723 --> 00:17:57,160
Have you just been carrying me around?
426
00:17:58,287 --> 00:17:59,607
- Maybe.
- Yeah.
427
00:17:59,618 --> 00:18:01,575
Okay, well...
428
00:18:01,586 --> 00:18:03,858
Nice to see you again. You can, uh...
429
00:18:04,087 --> 00:18:06,036
Can't I stretch my legs a little?
430
00:18:06,047 --> 00:18:07,887
I wish I could help you, but, uh...
431
00:18:07,898 --> 00:18:10,310
- That's very funny.
- Get in the fucking lamp.
432
00:18:14,101 --> 00:18:16,982
I didn't even know there
was a special ceremony for...
433
00:18:16,993 --> 00:18:18,995
Wait, what was the
ceremony called again?
434
00:18:19,006 --> 00:18:22,052
The Ceremony of Vampiric
Transmogrification.
435
00:18:22,063 --> 00:18:25,026
- Oh.
- Don't be nervous, we have all been through it.
436
00:18:25,153 --> 00:18:26,697
Well, is it scary?
437
00:18:26,708 --> 00:18:28,148
Nothing you cannot handle.
438
00:18:28,159 --> 00:18:31,271
The ancient ceremony will help
hasten you along your path.
439
00:18:34,494 --> 00:18:35,730
It is time.
440
00:18:35,943 --> 00:18:37,261
Are you ready?
441
00:18:37,294 --> 00:18:39,097
I am.
442
00:18:43,657 --> 00:18:44,811
Hey.
443
00:18:45,104 --> 00:18:46,313
Derek is here, too?
444
00:18:46,346 --> 00:18:48,412
Yes. Fucking guy.
445
00:18:48,515 --> 00:18:51,755
But ancient ritual dictates
that he must be present.
446
00:18:51,766 --> 00:18:54,205
- Come on.
- Hey, everyone.
447
00:18:54,395 --> 00:18:56,132
Hello.
448
00:18:56,166 --> 00:18:57,301
- Derek.
- Hey.
449
00:19:00,541 --> 00:19:04,088
Vampires all, gather we
here in the dark of night?
450
00:19:04,099 --> 00:19:05,774
We do.
451
00:19:05,785 --> 00:19:08,719
- We have made of ourselves a circle?
- The circle...
452
00:19:08,730 --> 00:19:10,268
- The circle unbroken.
- Unbroken.
453
00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:12,532
We gather here in a circle unbroken
454
00:19:12,543 --> 00:19:15,048
at the crossroads
between life and death.
455
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:18,644
Guillermo de la Cruz, are you prepared?
456
00:19:18,965 --> 00:19:20,025
I am.
457
00:19:20,036 --> 00:19:23,141
Guillermo de la Cruz,
are you of sound mind
458
00:19:23,152 --> 00:19:24,556
and strong of body?
459
00:19:24,589 --> 00:19:25,754
I am.
460
00:19:25,765 --> 00:19:27,383
A choice will be made.
461
00:19:27,394 --> 00:19:29,632
This choice can only be made by you.
462
00:19:29,665 --> 00:19:32,939
We vampires here are only witnesses.
463
00:19:33,076 --> 00:19:35,951
Mistress of Ceremony,
prepare the flames.
464
00:19:35,962 --> 00:19:37,399
That's me.
465
00:19:38,699 --> 00:19:40,470
Nicely done.
466
00:19:40,481 --> 00:19:44,362
Guillermo de la Cruz, I will
now ask you one question.
467
00:19:44,682 --> 00:19:47,290
The answer must come from your heart.
468
00:19:47,301 --> 00:19:51,243
For this is the last time
you get to make this final choice.
469
00:19:51,254 --> 00:19:53,441
- Do I make myself clear?
- Mm-hmm.
470
00:19:53,452 --> 00:19:57,393
The question is: Would
you rather be a human...
471
00:19:59,495 --> 00:20:01,065
or vampire?
472
00:20:09,424 --> 00:20:11,026
A human.
473
00:20:14,868 --> 00:20:15,974
As I predicted.
474
00:20:15,985 --> 00:20:17,550
It's not that I don't
want to be a vampire,
475
00:20:17,561 --> 00:20:19,456
- I really, really do.
- Sure.
476
00:20:19,467 --> 00:20:22,103
- It's all the killing.
- You can spare us the details, it's fine.
477
00:20:22,136 --> 00:20:24,119
You want to be a human,
there's no shame in that.
478
00:20:24,130 --> 00:20:25,666
- We're gonna make it happen.
- Wait, what?
479
00:20:25,677 --> 00:20:29,285
Mistress of Ceremony,
distribute the hoods.
480
00:20:29,296 --> 00:20:30,899
That's me again.
481
00:20:31,644 --> 00:20:34,094
- You're doing a great job.
- Thank you, Derek.
482
00:20:34,105 --> 00:20:35,987
- Can I get a smaller...
- They're unisex.
483
00:20:35,998 --> 00:20:37,643
- It's a one size fits all situation? Okay.
- Yep. Mm-hmm.
484
00:20:37,654 --> 00:20:38,984
Do I get a hood, or...
485
00:20:38,995 --> 00:20:40,834
- Hurry it up.
- I have one for you, too.
486
00:20:40,845 --> 00:20:41,939
Thank you.
487
00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:45,339
We blind ourselves
that none may witness.
488
00:20:45,350 --> 00:20:46,608
Hoods on, everyone.
489
00:20:46,619 --> 00:20:48,877
♪ We blind ourselves ♪
490
00:20:48,888 --> 00:20:54,366
♪ That none may see. ♪
491
00:20:55,236 --> 00:20:57,678
Very nice. Proceed to position two.
492
00:20:59,171 --> 00:21:00,418
I'm sorry, w-what's position two?
493
00:21:00,429 --> 00:21:02,306
Just as you are, Derek, that's fine.
494
00:21:02,317 --> 00:21:04,905
- Wait, what?
- It is the only way, Guillermo.
495
00:21:04,916 --> 00:21:06,920
- W-Won't I die, too?
- No.
496
00:21:07,053 --> 00:21:09,487
You'll go back to how you
were when you were turned.
497
00:21:09,498 --> 00:21:12,070
You'll just get a month
older really quickly.
498
00:21:12,081 --> 00:21:13,451
There's got to be another way.
499
00:21:13,839 --> 00:21:15,744
There's no other way.
500
00:21:16,322 --> 00:21:17,964
It is the only way.
501
00:21:38,087 --> 00:21:39,404
- I can't do this.
- Knew it.
502
00:21:39,415 --> 00:21:41,190
I'm sorry, can't
do what? What am I missing?
503
00:21:41,201 --> 00:21:43,378
Just keep that hood
on, Derek. You're doing great.
504
00:21:43,389 --> 00:21:45,671
- Thank you.
- You want me to do it?
505
00:21:47,803 --> 00:21:49,974
- I don't know.
- I do.
506
00:21:49,985 --> 00:21:51,555
Give me that.
507
00:21:56,301 --> 00:21:58,371
Guillermo, you okay?
508
00:21:58,382 --> 00:21:59,884
- Whoa!
- Um...
509
00:21:59,894 --> 00:22:02,103
- Oh, shit.
- Everything's kind of blurry.
510
00:22:02,136 --> 00:22:03,673
I think I need my old glasses.
511
00:22:04,955 --> 00:22:06,453
- Here.
- Thank you.
512
00:22:06,464 --> 00:22:07,900
Well, that was fun.
513
00:22:07,911 --> 00:22:09,862
Can we turn the regular
lights on now, please?
514
00:22:09,873 --> 00:22:12,547
Oh, sure. Can somebody
help me pick up all these
515
00:22:12,558 --> 00:22:14,110
hoods and robes?
516
00:22:14,121 --> 00:22:16,757
Eh, just leave them. Garfield
will pick 'em up later.
517
00:22:16,768 --> 00:22:19,772
I must say, the, uh, the
banners are a lovely touch.
518
00:22:19,783 --> 00:22:21,221
You know, I like them, too.
519
00:22:21,276 --> 00:22:22,333
What do they mean?
520
00:22:22,344 --> 00:22:24,040
I don't know, to be honest, Baron.
521
00:22:24,051 --> 00:22:26,608
I just wanted something
that looked cool and creepy.
522
00:22:26,619 --> 00:22:27,914
Very nice, yes.
523
00:22:29,677 --> 00:22:32,016
We have a sitter waiting at
home, so we're gonna head out.
524
00:22:32,027 --> 00:22:33,597
- Good evening.
- Kalinychta.
525
00:22:33,608 --> 00:22:36,295
- Bye.
- Anyone up for a game of parcheesi?
526
00:22:36,306 --> 00:22:37,548
Maybe a movie.
527
00:22:37,559 --> 00:22:38,962
- I'm zonked.
- The Brothers McMullin?
528
00:22:38,973 --> 00:22:41,028
That wasn't even a
real ceremony, was it?
529
00:22:41,039 --> 00:22:45,049
No. I found the robes in
a box in the attic and, uh...
530
00:22:45,060 --> 00:22:48,361
the candles I think we
got from a Home Depot?
531
00:22:50,864 --> 00:22:52,044
I'm sorry, Guillermo.
532
00:22:52,055 --> 00:22:53,562
It was the only way
for you to figure out
533
00:22:53,573 --> 00:22:55,377
what you actually wanted.
534
00:22:55,410 --> 00:22:58,149
It was a horrible and hard decision.
535
00:22:58,183 --> 00:22:59,718
I think you made the right choice.
536
00:23:01,289 --> 00:23:02,408
I know.
537
00:23:02,419 --> 00:23:04,784
Now, if you wouldn't mind
clearing up Derek's corpse
538
00:23:04,795 --> 00:23:07,534
before sunrise, that would be great.
539
00:23:14,778 --> 00:23:17,188
Its alright I"ll give you a hand.
540
00:23:17,199 --> 00:23:18,567
Thanks, Laszlo.
541
00:23:25,176 --> 00:23:27,887
- You take the bag, I'll take Derek.
- Okay.
542
00:23:27,898 --> 00:23:30,169
Come on, old chap. You
better get the door.
543
00:23:30,180 --> 00:23:31,282
Mr. Necromancer?
544
00:23:34,014 --> 00:23:36,186
And you have the
necessary items required
545
00:23:36,197 --> 00:23:38,037
for the procedure to succeed?
546
00:23:38,048 --> 00:23:39,620
He means the cash.
547
00:23:39,858 --> 00:23:41,625
Yeah, it was almost
all the money I gave Derek
548
00:23:41,636 --> 00:23:42,983
to turn me into a vampire.
549
00:23:42,994 --> 00:23:46,535
He only spent like $270
on "vampire clothes"
550
00:23:46,546 --> 00:23:48,554
that he got from Hot Topic.
551
00:23:48,565 --> 00:23:51,878
You don't need to count it.
It's all there, necromancer.
552
00:23:51,889 --> 00:23:55,473
I should trust you when you when
you show me no respect for me
553
00:23:55,484 --> 00:23:57,201
or my beguiling powers?
554
00:23:57,234 --> 00:23:58,603
Respect? For a fraud?
555
00:23:58,658 --> 00:24:00,662
But you've seen my methods succeed.
556
00:24:00,673 --> 00:24:03,299
I've seen your magic.
It has a fraudulent vibe.
557
00:24:03,310 --> 00:24:05,411
Okay, okay. Boys, why don't we focus?
558
00:24:10,061 --> 00:24:12,108
He's doing his scatting shit.
559
00:24:22,451 --> 00:24:25,314
Yah!
560
00:24:25,325 --> 00:24:27,041
Get in, you dirty bastard!
561
00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:33,273
Derek...
562
00:24:33,284 --> 00:24:35,455
What's up, dude?
563
00:24:35,466 --> 00:24:37,573
All right. Begone with ya.
564
00:24:37,584 --> 00:24:38,710
He's all yours.
565
00:24:38,721 --> 00:24:41,160
But, uh, if you're worried
about taking care of him,
566
00:24:41,171 --> 00:24:43,396
- we do have a new offer.
- Of course you do.
567
00:24:43,407 --> 00:24:45,586
- For a nominal fee...
- Here he goes.
568
00:24:45,597 --> 00:24:46,933
... a rehousing option.
569
00:24:46,966 --> 00:24:48,403
- Topher!
- No.
570
00:24:50,326 --> 00:24:51,502
What the fuck?
571
00:24:51,513 --> 00:24:54,957
Who calls... Topher?
572
00:24:54,968 --> 00:24:56,572
What's this "Thriller" shit?
573
00:24:58,990 --> 00:25:00,213
JK.
574
00:25:00,224 --> 00:25:01,718
Oh, it's that guy.
575
00:25:01,729 --> 00:25:04,538
- Topher!
- Yeah, baby. Sup, guys?
576
00:25:04,549 --> 00:25:07,295
- How you doing, Guillermo?
- Topher, you look, uh...
577
00:25:07,306 --> 00:25:08,999
- You look like shit.
- Well, I'm au naturel, babe.
578
00:25:09,010 --> 00:25:10,681
I've had some work done.
579
00:25:10,714 --> 00:25:12,109
You know, I'm still undead,
580
00:25:12,120 --> 00:25:13,623
but I'm making the most of it, man.
581
00:25:13,634 --> 00:25:15,578
Once you get used to the zombie body,
582
00:25:15,589 --> 00:25:17,973
you can actually learn
to talk normal again.
583
00:25:17,984 --> 00:25:19,227
Like this. Pretty cool, huh?
584
00:25:19,238 --> 00:25:21,625
- He just does the accent for the tourists.
- Eh, you know.
585
00:25:21,636 --> 00:25:23,340
Take 'em for an arm and a leg.
586
00:25:23,351 --> 00:25:25,131
Yeah, man.
587
00:25:25,142 --> 00:25:26,412
Who we got here?
588
00:25:26,721 --> 00:25:28,954
- Der. Ek.
- Oh, hey, look at that.
589
00:25:28,965 --> 00:25:31,277
Yeah, he's trying.
It's gonna take him a couple months
590
00:25:31,288 --> 00:25:33,014
to learn how to use the ol' mouth again.
591
00:25:33,025 --> 00:25:35,285
But in the meantime,
the more the merrier.
592
00:25:35,296 --> 00:25:37,735
Hey, Derek. How would
you like to join a gang
593
00:25:37,746 --> 00:25:40,134
of crazy motherfuckers
just like yourself?
594
00:25:40,145 --> 00:25:42,091
There's always room for a new friend.
595
00:25:42,271 --> 00:25:44,014
- Friend?
- Yeah. Friend!
596
00:25:44,047 --> 00:25:45,751
High five!
597
00:25:45,762 --> 00:25:47,533
Oh, yeah, takes a second.
598
00:25:47,544 --> 00:25:48,913
- Come on, buddy.
- Whoa!
599
00:25:48,924 --> 00:25:50,962
Easy, Derek.
600
00:25:51,061 --> 00:25:54,469
Hey, boys, set a place at the
table for our new friend Derek!
601
00:25:56,037 --> 00:25:58,111
Hey, you like eating human flesh?
602
00:25:58,122 --> 00:26:00,314
Oh, you will.
603
00:26:00,325 --> 00:26:01,910
Very... cool.
604
00:26:01,921 --> 00:26:03,745
- Bye, Derek.
- Bye, Derek.
605
00:26:16,026 --> 00:26:17,253
Do you take Venmo?
606
00:26:17,264 --> 00:26:21,636
Venmo? I take cash,
hard cash or gold coin. Or Zelle.
607
00:26:21,675 --> 00:26:26,675
- Synced and corrected by naFraC -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
43886
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