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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Huh.
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Says here that sour cream
is on sale over at Shop Mart.
3
00:00:19,781 --> 00:00:21,249
Shut up, Colin Robinson.
4
00:00:21,260 --> 00:00:22,595
Knock, knock.
5
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Guillermo, there's someone at the door.
6
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No, that was me
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just saying, "Knock, knock."
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Guillermo, never mind. It was nobody.
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00:00:31,950 --> 00:00:35,721
Mm. Oh, I just came
by to remind everyone
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that tonight is my
big art gallery opening
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- of all the paintings I've been working on.
- Paintings?
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The intoxicating elixir
to the weary mind.
13
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Who is the artist?
14
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I am.
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Tell me more about the sour
cream sale, Colin Robinson.
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Wait. You're all coming,
right? 'Cause you did RSVP yes.
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Eh... sort of hard to
shuffle things around
18
00:00:57,675 --> 00:01:00,947
at this late stage,
but let us think on it.
19
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This is a really good book, so...
20
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Okey doke.
21
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Oh! Uh, you received
a message in the post
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from a Perdita Morrigan?
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Perdita Morrigan?
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- Yeah.
- Oh, the Perdita Morrigan?
25
00:01:20,153 --> 00:01:21,677
Who's Perdita Morrigan?
26
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Could you read the note?
27
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- Hurry it up. Let's hear it.
- All right.
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"Mrs. Morrigan requests
the pleasure of your company
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for a weekend at her ancestral
state Morrigan Manor."
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Morrigan Manor, my love!
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Perdita Morrigan
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is the grand dame of
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vampiric high society in the New World.
34
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Yeah. She's the matriarch of one of
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America's first vampiric families.
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She came over on the Mayflower.
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She was there at the Plymouth Colonies
38
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during the first
winter, when 45 men died.
39
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And 23 of those were murders
40
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committed by Perdita herself.
41
00:01:54,354 --> 00:01:55,823
She just did it...
42
00:01:55,856 --> 00:01:58,793
very quietly, and then
blamed it on the cold weather.
43
00:02:00,461 --> 00:02:03,164
Perdita Morrigan holds
a Met Ball after-party
44
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that is so exclusive,
45
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no one is invited.
46
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I mean, I get it.
47
00:02:08,569 --> 00:02:10,538
This Perdita is some big shot,
48
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but my vampires know how hard
49
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I've been working on these paintings.
50
00:02:14,508 --> 00:02:16,177
I think they will make
the right decision.
51
00:02:16,210 --> 00:02:20,781
Guillermo, bring the car
around. We are out of here.
52
00:03:03,425 --> 00:03:05,595
All right, here we are.
53
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Wakey-wakey.
54
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- Wow, look at this place.
- Fan-cy.
55
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I need to realign my chakras.
56
00:03:14,607 --> 00:03:16,060
Oops. Yeah.
57
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That's gonna happen.
58
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Whew.
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00:03:18,605 --> 00:03:21,933
It means you're doing it right.
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00:03:21,944 --> 00:03:23,544
What's with this silly shit?
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00:03:23,577 --> 00:03:25,179
- Is that stuck on?
- Oh.
62
00:03:25,212 --> 00:03:27,548
No, I-I thought I'd grow
it out for the weekend.
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Mm. Really?
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00:03:28,738 --> 00:03:30,713
- You can grow a mustache that fast?
- Oh, yeah.
65
00:03:30,724 --> 00:03:33,255
No, I have to shave,
like, three times a day.
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00:03:33,266 --> 00:03:34,694
Not just my face either.
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00:03:34,705 --> 00:03:37,709
- Okay.
- Undercarriage, chest, balls...
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Ooh! We made it.
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00:03:39,826 --> 00:03:42,363
Yes, sorry you had to fly the whole way.
70
00:03:42,374 --> 00:03:44,009
It's just there wasn't really
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- any room in the car.
- Yeah.
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I think it was almost 200 miles.
73
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- About that.
- Over 200.
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I have a treat for you.
75
00:03:49,867 --> 00:03:51,215
- I brought the paintings.
- Oh.
76
00:03:51,226 --> 00:03:54,257
I figured if you all couldn't
come to the art opening,
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00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:57,705
then the art opening
can come to you guys.
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00:03:57,716 --> 00:03:59,952
Oh. Guys?
79
00:04:00,055 --> 00:04:03,027
Oh, I get it, you want to
look at them inside. Okay.
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00:04:03,038 --> 00:04:05,575
Ooh.
81
00:04:05,586 --> 00:04:07,555
Hello?
82
00:04:07,566 --> 00:04:09,703
Perdita? Hello?
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A little dingy.
84
00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:14,998
Are you sure the invitation
was for this weekend?
85
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- Yes! Oh, she left us a note.
- A note?
86
00:04:18,352 --> 00:04:19,654
It says, "Dear Guests... "
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That's us.
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"Welcome to Morrigan Manor.
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00:04:22,815 --> 00:04:26,686
So sorry not to greet you
in person, but please repair
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00:04:26,697 --> 00:04:28,766
to the drawing room, where I have left
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00:04:28,777 --> 00:04:31,413
a more personal message for you."
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00:04:31,424 --> 00:04:33,378
Well, hello,
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00:04:33,389 --> 00:04:37,172
my darling guests, and also greetings.
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00:04:37,484 --> 00:04:40,593
I beg you, please excuse my absence,
95
00:04:40,604 --> 00:04:42,274
- but something has come up...
- What?
96
00:04:42,285 --> 00:04:44,532
... and I won't
be joining you this weekend.
97
00:04:44,543 --> 00:04:47,253
- Shit.
- But please, do enjoy
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00:04:47,264 --> 00:04:48,811
all the amenities
99
00:04:48,822 --> 00:04:50,590
my home has to offer...
100
00:04:50,764 --> 00:04:52,728
the fencing gymnasium,
101
00:04:52,739 --> 00:04:54,728
the hunting grounds, the
historic bell tower...
102
00:04:54,739 --> 00:04:57,149
Is it me or is this chick hella boring?
103
00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:59,429
... and of course, the board games room.
104
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:01,676
But be warned...
105
00:05:01,687 --> 00:05:04,506
Morrigan Manor can be
a treacherous place.
106
00:05:04,517 --> 00:05:07,353
You must all watch out for one another,
107
00:05:07,364 --> 00:05:08,866
and take care of each other.
108
00:05:08,877 --> 00:05:10,312
- Yeah.
- You must operate
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00:05:10,323 --> 00:05:12,859
as the family that you are,
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00:05:12,870 --> 00:05:15,004
- not as six individuals...
- Six?
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00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:16,836
... who only look out for themselves.
112
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- Ah.
- So, good luck
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and ciao-ciao for now.
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What a big fat bummer.
115
00:05:22,682 --> 00:05:25,766
But she is known for her
extremely busy social schedule.
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Is anyone concerned
about that last part?
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About Morrigan Manor being treacherous?
118
00:05:30,248 --> 00:05:32,128
Not in the slightest. However...
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00:05:32,139 --> 00:05:34,908
sunrise is approaching.
Perhaps we should slumber
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00:05:34,919 --> 00:05:36,521
and worry about it later.
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- Good?
- Now you're talking.
122
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- Except for the luggage.
- Good night.
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00:05:41,348 --> 00:05:44,735
I was kind of hoping you'd
get it unloaded and unpacked,
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00:05:44,746 --> 00:05:47,443
if you don't mind. ASAP. Thank you.
125
00:05:47,454 --> 00:05:49,510
I should probably get my
paintings from the car.
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00:05:49,521 --> 00:05:51,353
That's okay. I can grab them for you.
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Thank you, Guillermo. You're so kind.
128
00:06:04,244 --> 00:06:05,873
My first thought was to "parry."
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00:06:05,906 --> 00:06:07,911
My second intention, to "riposte."
130
00:06:07,922 --> 00:06:09,524
It's just my "point-in-line."
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00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:12,172
That's fencing humor.
You'll get used to it.
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00:06:12,582 --> 00:06:16,462
- Ah, I see you're enjoying the gymnasium, mm?
- Yes.
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00:06:16,473 --> 00:06:19,187
- What a well-appointed one it is at that.
- Indeed.
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00:06:19,198 --> 00:06:21,734
Care to go a few rounds, my friend?
135
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En garde!
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Whew!
137
00:06:33,255 --> 00:06:34,304
What's wrong?
138
00:06:34,315 --> 00:06:36,298
Afraid of a little friendly competition?
139
00:06:36,309 --> 00:06:38,678
No. I prefer to practice on my dummy.
140
00:06:38,689 --> 00:06:40,398
Oh. Are you sure?
141
00:06:40,409 --> 00:06:41,444
Quite sure.
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00:06:41,455 --> 00:06:43,691
Okay. Um...
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00:06:43,702 --> 00:06:46,517
- All right. Have fun.
- Ta-ta.
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00:06:49,555 --> 00:06:51,090
Where did you come from?
145
00:06:53,072 --> 00:06:55,977
Well, I see sportsmanship
is not your forte.
146
00:06:55,988 --> 00:06:58,291
You need to be taught a lesson.
147
00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:00,530
And then there were two.
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00:07:00,541 --> 00:07:02,805
Well, I've always been
partial to a threesome.
149
00:07:02,816 --> 00:07:04,717
Shall we dance?
150
00:07:07,417 --> 00:07:11,188
Hey, Laszlo, I thought you
didn't want a fencing partner.
151
00:07:11,199 --> 00:07:14,496
Sorry, can't talk
right now. I have my hands full.
152
00:07:14,507 --> 00:07:15,875
Here, you forgot this.
153
00:07:15,886 --> 00:07:18,122
And you're certain
you don't need my help?
154
00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:20,151
No, I'm in the zone with these chaps.
155
00:07:20,162 --> 00:07:22,164
Now, where were we?
156
00:07:22,449 --> 00:07:25,330
Ah, yes. En garde!
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Take that!
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00:07:28,604 --> 00:07:30,441
And that. Ha!
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00:07:30,452 --> 00:07:32,571
And... that.
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00:07:32,582 --> 00:07:34,261
Like that, do you?
161
00:07:34,294 --> 00:07:37,197
Ménage à quatre. Why not?
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00:07:40,548 --> 00:07:42,183
Oh-ho!
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00:07:43,683 --> 00:07:46,159
A bit of the rope-a-dope! To here.
164
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Come on, chaps, this is too easy.
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Ha ha!
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00:07:49,816 --> 00:07:52,318
Is that all you've got?
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00:07:53,430 --> 00:07:54,832
You what?
168
00:07:54,934 --> 00:07:56,534
Well, I suppose this gives you
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00:07:56,545 --> 00:07:59,882
what we gentlemen
call a sporting chance.
170
00:08:00,141 --> 00:08:02,142
Watch your fingers.
171
00:08:02,153 --> 00:08:03,354
I learned that in Germany.
172
00:08:04,382 --> 00:08:06,351
That, in Afghanistan.
173
00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:14,489
Oh, yes.
174
00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:16,735
Lovely.
175
00:08:32,384 --> 00:08:35,020
Oh, shit.
176
00:08:42,087 --> 00:08:44,090
So...
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00:08:44,177 --> 00:08:48,982
the horsies can go up two and over one?
178
00:08:49,105 --> 00:08:50,473
I don't know how to play this shit.
179
00:08:50,484 --> 00:08:52,954
I thought you'd know
how to play this shit.
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00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:54,767
- Mm, that's fun.
- Eesh!
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00:08:54,778 --> 00:08:56,380
Shades of Bacchus.
182
00:08:56,391 --> 00:08:58,961
Guess what? We got another
message from our hostess.
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00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:02,205
"My staff has prepared
a traditional hunt
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00:09:02,216 --> 00:09:05,436
for all of you shortly after moonrise."
185
00:09:05,447 --> 00:09:07,182
- Ooh.
- "In the meantime,
186
00:09:07,193 --> 00:09:09,929
please enjoy this art show
187
00:09:09,940 --> 00:09:13,650
of recent oil paintings."
188
00:09:13,661 --> 00:09:15,607
- Perdita wrote that?
- Well,
189
00:09:15,618 --> 00:09:17,621
I added that last bit.
190
00:09:17,632 --> 00:09:20,608
- But I do think you will love these.
- No, I won't...
191
00:09:20,619 --> 00:09:23,467
because I have never worn
those glasses in my life.
192
00:09:23,478 --> 00:09:26,415
Has anyone seen Laszlo?
I can't find him anywhere.
193
00:09:26,426 --> 00:09:28,629
- And it's really not like him.
- Oh...
194
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,568
- Laszlo's missing, eh?
- Yeah.
195
00:09:30,579 --> 00:09:33,221
Mm, the game is afoot.
196
00:09:33,232 --> 00:09:37,437
You know, this house does have
a belfry filled with local bats.
197
00:09:37,652 --> 00:09:39,154
Maybe Laszlo went up there.
198
00:09:39,165 --> 00:09:41,672
Oh, so like my darling
perverted husband,
199
00:09:41,683 --> 00:09:44,020
to sniff out the local bordello
200
00:09:44,031 --> 00:09:45,866
immediately upon arrival.
201
00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:47,346
Could you take me to the belfry?
202
00:09:47,357 --> 00:09:50,183
Of course I can. And also, before we go,
203
00:09:50,194 --> 00:09:52,989
- would you like to take in?
- Uh, you know?
204
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,545
I saw some art last year. So I'm good.
205
00:09:55,556 --> 00:09:57,224
- This way?
- Okay.
206
00:09:57,235 --> 00:10:00,035
- Your move.
- Yes.
207
00:10:00,046 --> 00:10:02,115
Two at once.
208
00:10:02,398 --> 00:10:03,677
Inspired.
209
00:10:04,344 --> 00:10:07,359
This is the belfry, and
where there's a belfry,
210
00:10:07,370 --> 00:10:09,260
- there's bound to be...
- Bats.
211
00:10:09,271 --> 00:10:11,620
Yes, that is so like my Laszlo.
212
00:10:11,631 --> 00:10:13,622
Laszlo is so lucky to
have someone like you.
213
00:10:13,633 --> 00:10:15,529
Someone who cares about him
214
00:10:15,540 --> 00:10:17,776
and worries about his well-being.
215
00:10:17,787 --> 00:10:20,238
Well, yes, Laszlo is
not just my husband,
216
00:10:20,249 --> 00:10:24,186
or my number one fuckbuddy,
but he is also my best friend.
217
00:10:24,197 --> 00:10:26,878
- Must be nice.
- Laszlo, you little pervert,
218
00:10:26,889 --> 00:10:28,645
here I come.
219
00:10:29,902 --> 00:10:31,671
What the fuck is behind that door?
220
00:10:31,939 --> 00:10:34,075
Let me go first, to keep you safe.
221
00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:35,834
Be careful.
222
00:10:40,209 --> 00:10:41,477
Nadja, help!
223
00:10:41,488 --> 00:10:43,290
- Yes, I'm coming.
- Help!
224
00:10:43,301 --> 00:10:45,404
Here I come. I'm coming to he...
225
00:10:52,897 --> 00:10:55,365
It was just my eyes
playing tricks on me.
226
00:10:55,376 --> 00:10:57,119
It's nothing.
227
00:10:57,130 --> 00:10:58,898
Nadja, come back up!
228
00:10:59,151 --> 00:11:01,153
Let's look for Laszl... oh.
229
00:11:02,682 --> 00:11:04,184
Oh, no.
230
00:11:04,304 --> 00:11:06,072
Hurry, Guillermo.
231
00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:07,285
That horn signifies
232
00:11:07,296 --> 00:11:08,798
the release of the humans.
233
00:11:08,809 --> 00:11:11,045
They're getting a head start on us.
234
00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:13,574
They must be college athletes.
235
00:11:13,585 --> 00:11:16,388
The most challenging prey.
236
00:11:17,279 --> 00:11:18,447
Did you catch their scent?
237
00:11:18,458 --> 00:11:19,627
- What?
- Lead me.
238
00:11:19,638 --> 00:11:21,206
No. I'm not a bloodhound.
239
00:11:21,217 --> 00:11:23,887
Here. You can catch
their scent from this.
240
00:11:23,898 --> 00:11:25,667
No, I'm not gonna touch that.
241
00:11:25,678 --> 00:11:27,721
Just get your muzzle in there
and get a nice big whiff.
242
00:11:27,732 --> 00:11:29,228
- No.
- You can track them with this.
243
00:11:29,239 --> 00:11:30,395
You know what? How about this?
244
00:11:30,406 --> 00:11:33,980
You wait here, and I'm gonna
go and you wait for my signal.
245
00:11:33,991 --> 00:11:35,342
- Okay?
- Signal?
246
00:11:35,353 --> 00:11:37,188
Yeah. You wait for it, okay?
247
00:11:37,199 --> 00:11:39,035
- What's the signal?
- You'll see!
248
00:11:39,046 --> 00:11:40,548
Look at him go.
249
00:11:40,559 --> 00:11:43,829
Guy like that catches a
whiff of something musky,
250
00:11:44,234 --> 00:11:46,703
he absolutely will not stop.
251
00:11:46,714 --> 00:11:48,283
Oh, yeah.
252
00:11:48,294 --> 00:11:50,663
I just ran into the woods
and then circled back in
253
00:11:50,674 --> 00:11:52,143
when Nandor wasn't looking.
254
00:11:57,451 --> 00:11:59,820
The key to hunting humans
255
00:11:59,985 --> 00:12:02,288
is to divide and then crush.
256
00:12:02,573 --> 00:12:05,956
If the humans begin operating in a pack,
257
00:12:05,967 --> 00:12:07,833
they can be very formidable.
258
00:12:07,844 --> 00:12:09,813
But they're usually too dumb for that
259
00:12:09,824 --> 00:12:11,823
and end up just scattering.
260
00:12:13,011 --> 00:12:14,488
Guillermo?
261
00:12:14,499 --> 00:12:16,103
What have you found?
262
00:12:16,114 --> 00:12:17,849
What a good boy!
263
00:12:17,860 --> 00:12:19,862
I just don't have the
heart to, like, hunt humans.
264
00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:21,108
Yet.
265
00:12:21,119 --> 00:12:23,194
I know I'll have to do it eventually,
266
00:12:23,205 --> 00:12:26,061
but... I'm just not feeling it.
267
00:12:26,072 --> 00:12:27,229
Guillermo!
268
00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:28,810
Here, boy.
269
00:12:30,334 --> 00:12:33,037
- What the fuck?
- I'm not going to lie.
270
00:12:33,048 --> 00:12:35,284
This is as bad as it looks.
271
00:12:35,295 --> 00:12:37,011
It looks pretty bad.
272
00:12:37,022 --> 00:12:39,181
What are you even doing
all the way out here?
273
00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:40,427
I was looking for you.
274
00:12:40,438 --> 00:12:42,473
Nadja and Laszlo have disappeared.
275
00:12:42,484 --> 00:12:45,063
You're worrying about
nothing. It's fine.
276
00:12:45,074 --> 00:12:46,442
Okay, let me find a stick,
277
00:12:46,453 --> 00:12:48,389
and I will pry your leg from the trap.
278
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:50,752
- A stick, stick, stick, stick, stick.
- Oh, no.
279
00:12:50,763 --> 00:12:53,199
- What?
- They're coming.
280
00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:57,092
And they seem to be working as a team.
281
00:12:57,103 --> 00:12:59,786
Nandor, if you must leave me behind...
282
00:12:59,797 --> 00:13:01,306
- I must. See you.
- Oh.
283
00:13:01,317 --> 00:13:02,319
Bye.
284
00:13:02,330 --> 00:13:04,492
Guillermo! I am in need of your help!
285
00:13:04,711 --> 00:13:07,276
Guillermo... oh!
286
00:13:09,549 --> 00:13:11,585
- Where is everyone?
- Mm.
287
00:13:11,596 --> 00:13:13,665
An intriguing question.
288
00:13:13,676 --> 00:13:19,694
But perhaps one I should
be asking you, no, monsieur?
289
00:13:19,705 --> 00:13:20,873
What are you talking about?
290
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:24,836
Quite the "predict-ament"
291
00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:27,483
we find ourselves in here tonight,
292
00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:29,194
no, Guillermo?
293
00:13:29,205 --> 00:13:32,761
Not a soul in sight. Just you and me.
294
00:13:32,772 --> 00:13:35,341
"And then there were two."
295
00:13:36,872 --> 00:13:39,202
Again, what are you talking about?
296
00:13:39,213 --> 00:13:41,449
I know it was you, Guillermo.
297
00:13:41,460 --> 00:13:44,430
I know it was you who lured us all here
298
00:13:44,441 --> 00:13:46,043
under false pretenses.
299
00:13:46,054 --> 00:13:48,582
And it's you who's
making everyone disappear
300
00:13:48,593 --> 00:13:52,011
- one by one.
- What?
301
00:13:52,022 --> 00:13:53,598
That's bananas. Why
would I even do that?
302
00:13:53,609 --> 00:13:56,932
Because you know that Nandor
is eventually gonna find out
303
00:13:56,943 --> 00:13:59,376
that you went and got
yourself turned into a vampire
304
00:13:59,387 --> 00:14:01,489
- by someone other than him.
- Okay.
305
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:03,202
So, then why not just kill Nandor?
306
00:14:03,213 --> 00:14:04,479
Why kill everyone else?
307
00:14:04,490 --> 00:14:06,493
Uh...
308
00:14:06,504 --> 00:14:08,450
Um, because...
309
00:14:08,461 --> 00:14:09,896
we all know your secret.
310
00:14:09,961 --> 00:14:12,187
Okay, so then I kill everyone
311
00:14:12,198 --> 00:14:14,734
because I want to keep
the secret from Nandor,
312
00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:17,225
but then I still kill Nandor, too?
313
00:14:21,144 --> 00:14:23,640
Huh. Well, maybe I missed a clue.
314
00:14:23,651 --> 00:14:26,538
Is it something
where the last person alive
315
00:14:26,549 --> 00:14:28,218
inherits the house?
316
00:14:28,229 --> 00:14:30,231
- No.
- Yeah, well, even when I was saying that,
317
00:14:30,242 --> 00:14:31,791
that didn't really make sense.
318
00:14:34,516 --> 00:14:35,751
Zut alors!
319
00:14:35,762 --> 00:14:37,764
- What happened?
- Now Nandor is gone.
320
00:14:37,775 --> 00:14:41,446
I was caught in a trap and I
told him to leave me behind.
321
00:14:41,457 --> 00:14:44,160
And he did. Like, really quickly.
322
00:14:44,171 --> 00:14:46,006
Like you would think he would say,
323
00:14:46,017 --> 00:14:47,984
"No, I'm not going to leave you behind,"
324
00:14:47,995 --> 00:14:50,632
just to be nice, but he took off.
325
00:14:50,835 --> 00:14:54,473
And then he got swooped up into
the trees and I couldn't find him.
326
00:14:54,484 --> 00:14:57,803
- And then there were three.
- Can I take a look?
327
00:14:57,814 --> 00:15:00,117
It's all right,
Guillermo. I'm a vampire.
328
00:15:00,128 --> 00:15:02,297
- It'll heal by tomorrow.
- You sure?
329
00:15:02,308 --> 00:15:03,654
- Does it hurt?
- Not much.
330
00:15:03,665 --> 00:15:05,623
Let's at least level it up,
see what we're dealing with.
331
00:15:05,634 --> 00:15:06,641
- Careful. Careful.
- All right.
332
00:15:07,946 --> 00:15:09,281
That's a lot of blood.
333
00:15:09,292 --> 00:15:10,761
Thank you for caring.
334
00:15:10,772 --> 00:15:13,642
You know, a small act of
kindness can mean so much.
335
00:15:13,653 --> 00:15:16,489
And every day, we're
given so many opportunities
336
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:18,202
to be kind to someone else.
337
00:15:18,213 --> 00:15:20,216
You know, to make them feel included,
338
00:15:20,227 --> 00:15:22,663
to make them feel like
they're part of the old gang.
339
00:15:22,674 --> 00:15:24,576
Doesn't seem like much to ask.
340
00:15:24,587 --> 00:15:26,523
But for some people, I guess
341
00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:28,736
it's just something they won't do,
342
00:15:28,747 --> 00:15:30,349
even though they should know
343
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:33,374
it would mean the world
to some other people.
344
00:15:33,385 --> 00:15:35,827
Do you know what it's like to know
345
00:15:35,838 --> 00:15:39,909
there's a whole group of buddies
and no matter what you do,
346
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:42,890
they will never see you
as part of that group?
347
00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:44,405
I do.
348
00:15:44,416 --> 00:15:46,252
For all those years,
I was just a familiar.
349
00:15:46,263 --> 00:15:47,851
- I always felt like I...
- I'm sorry, Guillermo.
350
00:15:47,862 --> 00:15:50,698
I wasn't asking you. I was asking him.
351
00:15:51,734 --> 00:15:54,882
- Ah.
- The Celtics won. Noice.
352
00:15:54,893 --> 00:15:56,795
- Colin.
- Yeah.
353
00:15:57,370 --> 00:15:58,972
What? Were you saying something?
354
00:15:58,983 --> 00:16:02,225
Oh, fuck it. These can't all be clever.
355
00:16:11,578 --> 00:16:14,469
This way.
356
00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:16,249
What the hell?
357
00:16:16,282 --> 00:16:18,109
Finally. Quickly.
358
00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:20,742
Someone or something
has imprisoned all of us.
359
00:16:20,753 --> 00:16:23,456
No, you fucking
doughnut. It's her that did it.
360
00:16:23,489 --> 00:16:25,458
- Guilty as charged.
- What?
361
00:16:25,491 --> 00:16:27,059
Tee-hee.
362
00:16:27,092 --> 00:16:29,061
And I see you're all taking nicely
363
00:16:29,094 --> 00:16:30,529
to your new homes, yes?
364
00:16:30,562 --> 00:16:32,287
Solid silver.
365
00:16:32,298 --> 00:16:34,247
Ay, fucking silver.
366
00:16:34,258 --> 00:16:36,844
- Careful.
- Well, I'm immune to silver,
367
00:16:36,854 --> 00:16:38,166
so good luck keeping me in.
368
00:16:38,177 --> 00:16:41,089
- Oh, do you have the key?
- Touché.
369
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:44,171
What is this despicable
torture that you have concocted?
370
00:16:44,182 --> 00:16:46,568
But I like to think of
it as a lesson, really.
371
00:16:46,579 --> 00:16:47,713
An education.
372
00:16:47,746 --> 00:16:49,415
Did Perdita put you up to this?
373
00:16:49,426 --> 00:16:51,562
Perdita?
374
00:16:51,617 --> 00:16:54,003
- You mean...
- Morrigan Manor
375
00:16:54,014 --> 00:16:55,543
can be a treacherous place...
376
00:16:55,554 --> 00:16:57,423
et cetera, et cetera?
377
00:16:57,456 --> 00:16:59,525
- You mean that Perdita?
- Witch.
378
00:16:59,558 --> 00:17:01,350
- Well done.
- It was me the whole time.
379
00:17:01,361 --> 00:17:05,264
Yeah, no doy. I-I knew when
you shot me from my chair.
380
00:17:05,297 --> 00:17:07,600
- Good.
- Quite a glass onion.
381
00:17:07,611 --> 00:17:09,146
I think Perdita Morrigan
382
00:17:09,201 --> 00:17:11,404
is pretending to be The Guide.
383
00:17:11,437 --> 00:17:13,072
No, you fucking idiot.
384
00:17:13,105 --> 00:17:16,091
- She just said that it was her that was doing it.
- Who?
385
00:17:16,101 --> 00:17:17,631
- Fucking hell.
- Let me just say this slowly.
386
00:17:17,641 --> 00:17:19,338
- I wouldn't bother.
- I'd just carry on.
387
00:17:19,348 --> 00:17:20,425
- Should I not?
- No.
388
00:17:20,435 --> 00:17:22,415
- Yeah.
- I know that Perdita spends the offseason
389
00:17:22,448 --> 00:17:24,250
at her chalet in Gstaad,
390
00:17:24,283 --> 00:17:26,314
and that her mansion would be empty.
391
00:17:26,325 --> 00:17:28,187
And the perfect place to teach you all
392
00:17:28,220 --> 00:17:30,036
a valuable lesson
393
00:17:30,047 --> 00:17:32,924
about the importance
of being nice to people
394
00:17:32,935 --> 00:17:34,895
who maybe aren't part of your core group
395
00:17:34,906 --> 00:17:36,842
but who have done a lot
of nice things for you
396
00:17:37,115 --> 00:17:39,284
and yet you still treat them like shit.
397
00:17:39,733 --> 00:17:41,627
Wait, you did all of this
398
00:17:41,638 --> 00:17:43,159
instead of just asking us
399
00:17:43,170 --> 00:17:46,274
to have a short conversation
about your feelings?
400
00:17:46,285 --> 00:17:48,441
- Yeah, I guess I did.
- Okay, I think you taught them a lesson,
401
00:17:48,474 --> 00:17:50,510
- so now we just get them...
- No, Guillermo.
402
00:17:50,521 --> 00:17:52,596
My lesson has but only begun.
403
00:17:52,856 --> 00:17:57,049
You will each spend the rest
of your eternal lives here.
404
00:17:57,719 --> 00:18:01,053
Close to each other
yet kept at a distance.
405
00:18:01,086 --> 00:18:05,424
So you will know how you have
made me feel this whole time.
406
00:18:05,694 --> 00:18:07,563
Always on the outside.
407
00:18:07,596 --> 00:18:09,632
And every time I try to get close,
408
00:18:09,926 --> 00:18:11,767
- I get burned.
- I thought
409
00:18:11,778 --> 00:18:13,279
you really liked us.
410
00:18:13,290 --> 00:18:14,507
I did.
411
00:18:14,569 --> 00:18:16,476
Deeply and desperately.
412
00:18:16,487 --> 00:18:18,941
And all I wanted was for you to like me.
413
00:18:18,974 --> 00:18:21,644
Instead, you treated me like...
414
00:18:21,677 --> 00:18:23,546
an afterthought.
415
00:18:23,579 --> 00:18:28,818
I have got absolutely no really
close female friends anymore.
416
00:18:28,851 --> 00:18:31,687
- An annoyance.
- Oh, nice going, dipshit.
417
00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,289
A hanger-on.
418
00:18:33,322 --> 00:18:34,624
Stand over there and just
pretend not to listen.
419
00:18:34,657 --> 00:18:35,658
I can do that.
420
00:18:35,691 --> 00:18:36,826
An inconvenience.
421
00:18:36,859 --> 00:18:38,828
You did R-S-veep "yes."
422
00:18:38,861 --> 00:18:42,632
Sort of had to shuffle things
around at this late stage.
423
00:18:42,665 --> 00:18:45,768
So this is basically a clip show now?
424
00:18:45,801 --> 00:18:47,036
Are we Golden Girls?
425
00:18:47,069 --> 00:18:48,504
You know, I'm starting to think
426
00:18:48,537 --> 00:18:50,973
that this might be all of my fault.
427
00:18:51,006 --> 00:18:54,410
This is the hex that I
have been cursed with.
428
00:18:54,443 --> 00:18:55,645
Oh,
429
00:18:55,678 --> 00:18:57,547
my dear Mistress Nadja.
430
00:18:57,580 --> 00:18:59,615
- I have good news.
- Huh?
431
00:18:59,648 --> 00:19:01,350
There is no hex.
432
00:19:01,383 --> 00:19:03,252
There never was a hex.
433
00:19:03,285 --> 00:19:04,554
I just made you think
434
00:19:04,587 --> 00:19:06,522
- there was a hex.
- What?
435
00:19:06,555 --> 00:19:08,332
- Witch!
- Did not have that
436
00:19:08,343 --> 00:19:11,488
- on my 2023 bingo card.
- Why?!
437
00:19:11,498 --> 00:19:13,454
So that I could try to help you.
438
00:19:13,464 --> 00:19:16,032
So that you would, I don't
know, see me as a friend,
439
00:19:16,065 --> 00:19:17,800
treat me as a friend.
440
00:19:17,811 --> 00:19:20,245
I did say thank you for
your help with the hex.
441
00:19:20,256 --> 00:19:21,860
- Not once.
- I meant to?
442
00:19:21,871 --> 00:19:24,540
- You didn't.
- Thank you so much.
443
00:19:24,573 --> 00:19:25,675
Too late!
444
00:19:25,708 --> 00:19:27,276
Even to the bitter end,
445
00:19:27,309 --> 00:19:28,945
hoping against hope,
446
00:19:28,978 --> 00:19:32,415
I gave each of you one
last chance to show me
447
00:19:32,448 --> 00:19:35,418
the smallest amount of kindness.
448
00:19:35,451 --> 00:19:36,953
And even that was beyond you!
449
00:19:36,986 --> 00:19:40,356
No one told us it was a fucking test.
450
00:19:40,389 --> 00:19:42,558
W-Wait,
why isn't Gumball in here with us?
451
00:19:42,591 --> 00:19:45,561
Because Guillermo is the
only one out of all of you
452
00:19:45,594 --> 00:19:47,697
that has ever shown me any kindness.
453
00:19:47,730 --> 00:19:49,565
- Brownnoser.
- And yet you all
454
00:19:49,598 --> 00:19:51,534
treat him so shabbily
455
00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:54,437
that even after all this
time of waiting to become
456
00:19:54,470 --> 00:19:55,638
one of you...
457
00:19:55,671 --> 00:19:56,973
he's forced to give up
458
00:19:57,006 --> 00:19:59,274
and take matters into his own hands.
459
00:20:00,075 --> 00:20:02,278
Sorry, what?
460
00:20:02,311 --> 00:20:03,613
Well, I think, y-you know,
461
00:20:03,646 --> 00:20:05,381
I don't think they mean to exclude you.
462
00:20:05,414 --> 00:20:06,616
- Guillermo, do not stick up for them.
- I'm not...
463
00:20:06,649 --> 00:20:07,884
Circling back to "taking matters
464
00:20:07,917 --> 00:20:09,552
into his own hands... "
465
00:20:09,585 --> 00:20:11,654
Well, I don't think that's
the point. The point is,
466
00:20:11,687 --> 00:20:12,922
- those paintings are very important.
- Well, it kind of is the point.
467
00:20:12,955 --> 00:20:14,423
Is anyone else curious about this?
468
00:20:14,456 --> 00:20:15,491
Laszlo?
469
00:20:15,524 --> 00:20:16,893
Nadja? Curiosity there at all?
470
00:20:16,926 --> 00:20:18,628
I-I like this cage.
471
00:20:18,661 --> 00:20:20,797
- Colin Robinson? Any...
- No, sir.
472
00:20:20,830 --> 00:20:22,532
Okay, you know, it kind of feels like
473
00:20:22,565 --> 00:20:24,934
there's something going
on and everyone knows
474
00:20:24,967 --> 00:20:26,836
what it is except me.
475
00:20:26,847 --> 00:20:28,249
Awkward.
476
00:20:30,873 --> 00:20:32,408
Master.
477
00:20:32,441 --> 00:20:33,909
Yes?
478
00:20:34,844 --> 00:20:36,345
I, uh...
479
00:20:36,378 --> 00:20:37,480
Spit it out.
480
00:20:37,513 --> 00:20:39,615
I made a-a big mistake.
481
00:20:39,648 --> 00:20:42,752
And I didn't want to tell you
because I didn't want to hurt...
482
00:20:42,785 --> 00:20:44,287
you.
483
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,022
I had someone else turn me
484
00:20:46,055 --> 00:20:47,690
into a vampire.
485
00:20:47,723 --> 00:20:49,492
I-I asked them to do it.
486
00:20:49,525 --> 00:20:50,626
Oh, fuck.
487
00:20:57,121 --> 00:20:58,656
You asked...
488
00:20:59,457 --> 00:21:01,158
someone else?
489
00:21:01,939 --> 00:21:05,075
A vampire who was not me?
490
00:21:06,156 --> 00:21:08,559
I felt like I had no other choice.
491
00:21:08,570 --> 00:21:09,805
You could have asked me.
492
00:21:09,816 --> 00:21:11,585
Are you fucking kidding me?
493
00:21:11,836 --> 00:21:14,305
I asked you repeatedly for 13 years.
494
00:21:14,338 --> 00:21:17,075
Yes, and I was gonna get round to it.
495
00:21:17,108 --> 00:21:19,010
I've had a lot on my
plate at the moment!
496
00:21:20,711 --> 00:21:21,746
- Who?
- What?
497
00:21:21,779 --> 00:21:22,947
Who was it?
498
00:21:22,980 --> 00:21:24,682
I don't think that's really relevant.
499
00:21:24,715 --> 00:21:26,284
- It's relevant to me.
- It's just, what's done is done.
500
00:21:26,317 --> 00:21:27,651
- Guillermo!
- Derek.
501
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:30,421
Okay.
502
00:21:30,454 --> 00:21:32,423
Well, thank you for
being honest with me.
503
00:21:32,456 --> 00:21:34,092
- Okay.
- I appreciate it.
504
00:21:34,125 --> 00:21:36,661
Now I'm going to be honest with you.
505
00:21:36,694 --> 00:21:37,762
This is good.
506
00:21:37,795 --> 00:21:38,963
I...
507
00:21:38,996 --> 00:21:40,098
am going...
508
00:21:40,131 --> 00:21:41,366
to kill you,
509
00:21:41,399 --> 00:21:42,901
Guillermo.
510
00:21:42,934 --> 00:21:44,669
And then quite possibly myself.
511
00:21:44,702 --> 00:21:46,004
It all depends
512
00:21:46,037 --> 00:21:47,639
on whether I'm still completely
513
00:21:47,672 --> 00:21:49,774
and utterly humiliated
514
00:21:49,807 --> 00:21:51,042
after I'm done killing you!
515
00:21:52,777 --> 00:21:54,812
Whoa-whoa-whoa, if
it makes you feel any better,
516
00:21:54,845 --> 00:21:56,181
he's only a half-baked vampire.
517
00:21:56,214 --> 00:21:58,650
Yes, I know. He has Van Helsing blood.
518
00:21:58,683 --> 00:22:00,351
His vampire-killer cells
519
00:22:00,384 --> 00:22:03,021
are fighting off his vampire
cells with all their might.
520
00:22:03,054 --> 00:22:06,691
- Okay. That's what's going on.
- Oh, shit.
521
00:22:06,724 --> 00:22:08,760
- Fuck.
- Another mystery solved.
522
00:22:08,793 --> 00:22:10,028
Well, you live and learn, right?
523
00:22:11,395 --> 00:22:13,665
Master, if you would just let me talk...
524
00:22:13,698 --> 00:22:15,133
You're a dead man!
525
00:22:24,876 --> 00:22:26,644
Stay back there. And in the meantime,
526
00:22:26,677 --> 00:22:28,847
where are the documentarians? Behind me?
527
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:30,215
There you are. I say,
528
00:22:30,248 --> 00:22:32,684
could you find the tapes
529
00:22:32,717 --> 00:22:37,021
from November the 21st, 2022?
530
00:22:38,856 --> 00:22:42,694
Yeah. I know she
doesn't have, like, a last name
531
00:22:42,727 --> 00:22:44,929
or a first name, for that matter,
532
00:22:44,962 --> 00:22:48,333
but I-I just think that
The Guide is really nice.
533
00:22:48,366 --> 00:22:49,701
I'd say she's more
than nice, Colin Robinson.
534
00:22:49,734 --> 00:22:51,269
She has a tremendous wit
535
00:22:51,302 --> 00:22:53,238
and a fantastic backside.
536
00:22:53,271 --> 00:22:55,073
That would usually make me very jealous,
537
00:22:55,106 --> 00:22:57,375
if I didn't completely agree!
538
00:22:57,408 --> 00:23:00,178
And, you know, she's
also a very good listener.
539
00:23:00,211 --> 00:23:02,080
And once you get used to that voice,
540
00:23:02,113 --> 00:23:04,782
she has some very
interesting things to say.
541
00:23:04,815 --> 00:23:06,885
I have often thought,
as I've searched for a wife,
542
00:23:06,918 --> 00:23:09,888
that the answer might
just be here under my nose
543
00:23:09,921 --> 00:23:11,189
the whole time.
544
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:12,374
I think that's enough now, Ryan.
545
00:23:12,385 --> 00:23:13,886
- You can turn that off. She gets the point.
- Oh.
546
00:23:13,897 --> 00:23:15,566
Thank you.
547
00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:17,395
That was so lovely.
548
00:23:17,428 --> 00:23:20,765
But how come none of you
ever said any of this to me?
549
00:23:20,798 --> 00:23:22,901
Because we're vampires,
550
00:23:22,934 --> 00:23:25,103
my squeaky-voiced,
551
00:23:25,136 --> 00:23:28,206
fucking berserk, nutjob, idiot friend.
552
00:23:28,239 --> 00:23:31,943
And sometimes we're not too
good with the old niceties
553
00:23:31,976 --> 00:23:34,112
and kindness towards
those we care about.
554
00:23:34,145 --> 00:23:35,914
But our hearts...
555
00:23:35,947 --> 00:23:37,749
are full of love.
556
00:23:37,782 --> 00:23:39,917
He's not wrong.
557
00:23:43,254 --> 00:23:44,756
I am so embarrassed.
558
00:23:44,789 --> 00:23:46,191
Oh!
559
00:23:46,224 --> 00:23:48,092
Don't sweat it, girly.
We all make mistakes.
560
00:23:48,125 --> 00:23:50,114
- Now let-let me out now.
- Okay.
561
00:23:50,124 --> 00:23:51,184
- Come on.
- Here we are.
562
00:23:51,195 --> 00:23:53,427
Forgive and forget, that's what I say.
563
00:23:53,438 --> 00:23:55,867
Now let me out of this cage
so I can kill Guillermo.
564
00:23:55,900 --> 00:23:57,769
Guess I kind of got in my head
565
00:23:57,802 --> 00:23:59,370
- a little bit.
- Yes. - Yes,
566
00:23:59,403 --> 00:24:01,239
I think you did.
567
00:24:01,272 --> 00:24:03,074
- Ooh!
- Fuck.
568
00:24:03,107 --> 00:24:04,342
I've never been able to do that.
569
00:24:04,375 --> 00:24:05,878
Now you're just rubbing it in.
570
00:24:05,889 --> 00:24:07,657
Very Derek.
571
00:24:08,279 --> 00:24:10,248
Master, if I let you out of this cage,
572
00:24:10,281 --> 00:24:11,849
do you promise not to kill me?
573
00:24:13,284 --> 00:24:14,752
I promise.
574
00:24:14,785 --> 00:24:16,054
You mean it?
575
00:24:16,087 --> 00:24:17,322
No!
576
00:24:17,355 --> 00:24:18,923
What are you doing?
577
00:24:18,956 --> 00:24:20,225
I'm giving you a head
start, you knob lord.
578
00:24:20,258 --> 00:24:21,326
Laszlo, let me out of this cage
579
00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:23,194
so I can kill Guillermo!
580
00:24:23,227 --> 00:24:25,263
- Give me that key!
- If I were you, I'd run.
581
00:24:25,274 --> 00:24:27,142
Run, boy, run!
582
00:24:27,965 --> 00:24:30,401
Guillermo... !
583
00:24:43,180 --> 00:24:45,350
I have often thought, as
I've searched for a wife,
584
00:24:45,383 --> 00:24:48,152
that the answer might
just be here under my nose
585
00:24:48,185 --> 00:24:49,854
- the whole time.
- I know.
586
00:24:49,887 --> 00:24:51,389
She also has such great style.
587
00:24:51,422 --> 00:24:53,391
All those blacks and grays.
588
00:24:53,424 --> 00:24:55,226
Oh, I see.
589
00:24:55,259 --> 00:24:57,896
I get it. You guys are...
590
00:24:57,929 --> 00:25:00,298
trying to get me to hook up with her
591
00:25:00,331 --> 00:25:02,200
and so we become a couple
592
00:25:02,233 --> 00:25:05,403
and I eventually move out
and leave you guys alone.
593
00:25:05,436 --> 00:25:07,317
- I get it. - What?
- What?
594
00:25:07,328 --> 00:25:08,617
We would never do that.
595
00:25:08,628 --> 00:25:09,657
Of course not!
596
00:25:09,788 --> 00:25:14,788
- Synced and corrected by naFraC -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
42240
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