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1
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,284
Huh.
2
00:00:17,317 --> 00:00:20,588
Says here that sour cream is
on sale over at Shop Mart.
3
00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:22,089
[Laszlo]
Shut up, Colin Robinson.
4
00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:23,457
[Guide]
Knock, knock.
5
00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:26,427
Guillermo, there's someone
at the door.
6
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:28,362
[laughs]
No, that was me
7
00:00:28,395 --> 00:00:29,797
just saying, "Knock, knock."
8
00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:32,800
Guillermo, never
mind. It was nobody.
9
00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:36,604
Mm. Oh, I just came
by to remind everyone
10
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:39,607
that tonight is my
big art gallery opening
11
00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:42,243
- of all the paintings I've been working on.
- [Laszlo] Paintings?
12
00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:45,646
The intoxicating elixir
to the weary mind.
13
00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:47,047
Who is the artist?
14
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:48,481
I am.
15
00:00:49,282 --> 00:00:52,152
- Tell me more about the sour cream sale, Colin Robinson.
- [Guide] Wait.
16
00:00:52,185 --> 00:00:55,756
You're all coming, right?
'Cause you did RSVP yes.
17
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:58,525
Eh... sort of hard to
shuffle things around
18
00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:02,129
at this late stage,
but let us think on it.
19
00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:05,298
This is a really
good book, so...
20
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,669
[sighs] Okey doke.
21
00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:10,137
Oh!
22
00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:12,206
Uh, you received
23
00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:14,241
a message in the post
24
00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:16,744
from a Perdita Morrigan?
25
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:18,312
Perdita Morrigan?
26
00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:21,181
- Yeah.
- Oh, the Perdita Morrigan?
27
00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:22,549
Who's Perdita Morrigan?
28
00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:24,418
- Could you read the note?
- [clears throat]
29
00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:26,195
- [Nadja] Hurry it up. Let's hear it.
- All right.
30
00:01:26,219 --> 00:01:29,523
"Mrs. Morrigan requests
the pleasure of your company
31
00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:34,128
for a weekend at her
ancestral state Morrigan Manor."
32
00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:35,596
Morrigan Manor, my love!
33
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:36,697
[whoops]
34
00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:37,731
[Nadja] Perdita Morrigan
35
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,566
is the grand dame of
36
00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:42,770
vampiric high society
in the New World.
37
00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:44,238
Yeah. She's the
matriarch of one of
38
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:45,606
America's first
vampiric families.
39
00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:47,241
She came over on the Mayflower.
40
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:49,276
She was there at
the Plymouth Colonies
41
00:01:49,309 --> 00:01:51,645
during the first winter,
when 45 men died.
42
00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:53,581
[Nadja] And 23 of
those were murders
43
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,215
committed by Perdita herself.
44
00:01:55,248 --> 00:01:56,717
She just did it...
45
00:01:56,750 --> 00:01:59,687
very quietly, and then
blamed it on the cold weather.
46
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,322
[laughs]
47
00:02:01,355 --> 00:02:04,058
Perdita Morrigan holds
a Met Ball after-party
48
00:02:04,091 --> 00:02:05,759
that is so exclusive,
49
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:08,228
no one is invited.
50
00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:09,430
[Guide] I mean, I get it.
51
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:11,432
This Perdita is some big shot,
52
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,701
but my vampires know how hard
53
00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,369
I've been working
on these paintings.
54
00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:17,071
I think they will make
the right decision.
55
00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:21,675
Guillermo, bring the car
around. We are out of here.
56
00:02:23,577 --> 00:02:25,679
["You're Dead" by
Norma Tanega playing]
57
00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:28,282
♪ Don't sing if you
want to live long ♪
58
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,684
♪ They have no
use for your song ♪
59
00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:34,488
♪ You're dead, you're
dead, you're dead ♪
60
00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:36,356
♪ You're dead and
out of this world ♪
61
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:40,828
♪ Now your hope and
compassion is gone ♪
62
00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:43,631
♪ You sold out your
dream to the world ♪
63
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:46,100
♪ Stay dead, stay
dead, stay dead ♪
64
00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:48,201
♪ You're dead and
out of this world. ♪
65
00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:55,141
♪ ♪
66
00:02:58,245 --> 00:03:00,347
[gate creaking]
67
00:03:02,582 --> 00:03:04,084
[thunder rumbling]
68
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:06,287
[Guillermo] All
right, here we are.
69
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,355
- Wakey-wakey.
- [Colin groans]
70
00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:10,057
[Guillermo] Wow,
look at this place.
71
00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:11,191
Fan-cy.
72
00:03:11,224 --> 00:03:13,093
I need to realign my chakras.
73
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:15,262
[groaning, farting]
74
00:03:15,295 --> 00:03:16,463
Oops. Yeah.
75
00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:18,065
That's gonna happen.
76
00:03:18,098 --> 00:03:19,466
- [bats screeching]
- [Colin] Whew.
77
00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:22,503
It means you're
doing it right. [laughs]
78
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,438
What's with this silly shit?
79
00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:26,073
- Is that stuck on?
- Oh.
80
00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:28,442
No, I-I thought I'd grow
it out for the weekend.
81
00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:30,244
Mm. Really?
82
00:03:30,277 --> 00:03:31,688
- You can grow a mustache that fast?
- Oh, yeah.
83
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,681
No, I have to shave,
like, three times a day.
84
00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,282
Not just my face either.
85
00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:38,319
- Okay.
- Undercarriage, chest, balls...
86
00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:40,220
Ooh! We made it.
87
00:03:40,253 --> 00:03:42,790
-[chuckles] -Yes, sorry
you had to fly the whole way.
88
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,458
-[coughs] -It's just
there wasn't really
89
00:03:44,491 --> 00:03:46,226
- any room in the car.
- Yeah.
90
00:03:46,259 --> 00:03:47,661
I think it was almost 200 miles.
91
00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:49,105
- [Nandor] About that.
- [Guillermo] Over 200.
92
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:50,631
[Guide] I have a treat for you.
93
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,366
- I brought the paintings.
- Oh.
94
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,735
I figured if you all couldn't
come to the art opening,
95
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:58,205
then the art opening
can come to you guys.
96
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,474
Oh. Guys?
97
00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:03,677
Oh, I get it, you want to
look at them inside. Okay.
98
00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:06,247
- [door creaks]
- [Nadja] Ooh.
99
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:08,249
- [thunder rumbling]
- [Guide] Hello?
100
00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:10,284
Perdita? Hello?
101
00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:12,152
[Nandor] A little dingy.
102
00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:15,623
Are you sure the invitation
was for this weekend?
103
00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:19,059
- Yes! Oh, she left us a note.
- [Nandor] A note?
104
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,394
It says, "Dear Guests..."
105
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:21,428
- [gasps]
- That's us.
106
00:04:21,461 --> 00:04:23,397
"Welcome to Morrigan Manor.
107
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:27,301
"So sorry not to greet you
in person, but please repair
108
00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:29,403
"to the drawing
room, where I have left
109
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:32,072
a more personal
message for you."
110
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,441
- [button clicks]
- [Perdita] Well, hello,
111
00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:37,111
my darling guests,
and also greetings.
112
00:04:37,144 --> 00:04:40,247
I beg you, please
excuse my absence,
113
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,283
- but something has come up...
- What?
114
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:45,386
[Perdita] ...and I won't be
joining you this weekend.
115
00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:47,554
- Shit.
- But please, do enjoy
116
00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:49,390
all the amenities
117
00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:51,191
my home has to offer...
118
00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:52,793
The fencing gymnasium,
119
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:54,637
the hunting grounds,
the historic bell tower...
120
00:04:54,661 --> 00:04:57,231
Is it me or is this
chick hella boring?
121
00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:59,533
[Perdita] ...and of course,
the board games room.
122
00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:01,802
- [Colin groans]
- But be warned...
123
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:04,772
Morrigan Manor can
be a treacherous place.
124
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,641
-[clock chiming] -You must
all watch out for one another,
125
00:05:07,674 --> 00:05:09,176
and take care of each other.
126
00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:10,644
- Yeah.
- [Perdita] You must operate
127
00:05:10,677 --> 00:05:13,213
as the family that you are,
128
00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:15,749
- not as six individuals...
- Six?
129
00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:17,393
[Perdita] ...who only
look out for themselves.
130
00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:19,153
-Ah. -[Perdita] So, good luck
131
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:21,355
and ciao-ciao for now.
132
00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:23,123
[Nadja] What a big fat bummer.
133
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:26,660
But she is known for her
extremely busy social schedule.
134
00:05:26,693 --> 00:05:28,495
Is anyone concerned
about that last part?
135
00:05:28,528 --> 00:05:31,131
About Morrigan Manor
being treacherous?
136
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,700
Not in the slightest. However...
137
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:35,502
sunrise is approaching.
Perhaps we should slumber
138
00:05:35,535 --> 00:05:37,137
- and worry about it later.
- [yawns]
139
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,772
- Good? -Now you're talking.
- [yawning]
140
00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:42,209
- Except for the luggage.
- [Nadja] Good night.
141
00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:45,179
I was kind of hoping you'd
get it unloaded and unpacked,
142
00:05:45,212 --> 00:05:47,214
if you don't mind. ASAP.
143
00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:49,783
- Thank you.
- I should probably get my paintings from the car.
144
00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:52,052
That's okay. I can
grab them for you.
145
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:54,054
Thank you, Guillermo.
You're so kind.
146
00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:56,357
[thunder rumbles]
147
00:05:56,390 --> 00:05:58,359
♪ ♪
148
00:05:58,392 --> 00:06:00,427
[crickets chirping]
149
00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:06,767
[Laszlo] My first
thought was to "parry."
150
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,435
My second
intention, to "riposte."
151
00:06:08,468 --> 00:06:10,070
It's just my "point-in-line."
152
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:12,740
That's fencing humor.
You'll get used to it.
153
00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:17,311
- Ah, I see you're enjoying the gymnasium, mm?
- Yes.
154
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:19,513
- What a well-appointed one it is at that.
- Indeed.
155
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:22,082
Care to go a few
rounds, my friend?
156
00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:25,719
En garde!
157
00:06:31,658 --> 00:06:33,560
Whew!
158
00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:35,129
What's wrong?
159
00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:36,797
Afraid of a little
friendly competition?
160
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:39,199
No. I prefer to
practice on my dummy.
161
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,734
Oh. Are you sure?
162
00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:41,802
Quite sure.
163
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:44,071
Okay. Um...
164
00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:46,573
- All right. Have fun.
- Ta-ta.
165
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:50,077
♪ ♪
166
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,645
Where did you come from?
167
00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:56,283
Well, I see sportsmanship
is not your forte.
168
00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:58,619
You need to be taught a lesson.
169
00:06:58,652 --> 00:07:00,688
And then there were two.
170
00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:03,257
Well, I've always been
partial to a threesome.
171
00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:05,191
Shall we dance?
172
00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:11,265
Hey, Laszlo, I thought you
didn't want a fencing partner.
173
00:07:11,298 --> 00:07:15,102
[Laszlo] Sorry, can't talk
right now. I have my hands full.
174
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:16,503
Here, you forgot this.
175
00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:18,772
And you're certain
you don't need my help?
176
00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:20,441
No, I'm in the zone
with these chaps.
177
00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:22,476
-[Guide sighs] -[Laszlo]
Now, where were we?
178
00:07:22,509 --> 00:07:23,477
Ah, yes.
179
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:25,412
En garde!
180
00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:27,714
Take that!
181
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:30,484
And that. Ha!
182
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:33,120
And... that.
183
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:35,155
Like that, do you?
184
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:38,091
Ménage à quatre. Why not?
185
00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:42,496
Oh-ho!
186
00:07:42,529 --> 00:07:43,530
[fencer groans]
187
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:46,600
[Laszlo] A bit of the
rope-a-dope! To here.
188
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,335
Come on, chaps,
this is too easy.
189
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:49,703
Ha ha!
190
00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:53,173
Is that all you've got?
191
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:54,608
You what?
192
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:57,211
Well, I suppose this gives you
193
00:07:57,244 --> 00:08:00,581
what we gentlemen
call a sporting chance.
194
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,182
Watch your fingers.
195
00:08:02,215 --> 00:08:03,416
I learned that in Germany.
196
00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:06,720
That, in Afghanistan.
197
00:08:06,753 --> 00:08:08,055
[Laszlo laughs]
198
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:10,190
[grunting]
199
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:14,395
- [fencer grunts]
- [Laszlo] Oh, yes.
200
00:08:14,428 --> 00:08:16,663
Lovely.
201
00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:21,535
[all grunting]
202
00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:23,336
- [fencers groaning]
- [Laszlo laughs]
203
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:27,641
♪ ♪
204
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,315
- Oh, shit.
- [fencers shout]
205
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,525
So...
206
00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:49,363
the horsies can go
up two and over one?
207
00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:50,764
I don't know how
to play this shit.
208
00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:53,267
I thought you'd know
how to play this shit.
209
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:54,668
- Mm, that's fun.
- [shrieks] -Eesh!
210
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,737
Shades of Bacchus.
211
00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:59,340
Guess what? We got another
message from our hostess.
212
00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:02,276
"My staff has prepared
a traditional hunt
213
00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:05,613
for all of you shortly
after moonrise."
214
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:07,381
- Ooh.
- "In the meantime,
215
00:09:07,414 --> 00:09:10,150
"please enjoy this art show
216
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:13,520
of recent oil paintings."
- [laughs]
217
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,789
- Perdita wrote that?
- [Guide] Well,
218
00:09:15,822 --> 00:09:17,825
I added that last bit.
219
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:20,494
- But I do think you will love these.
- [Colin] No, I won't...
220
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:23,530
because I have never
worn those glasses in my life.
221
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,500
[Nadja] Has anyone seen
Laszlo? I can't find him anywhere.
222
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:28,736
- And it's really not like him.
- [Colin] Oh...
223
00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:31,205
- Laszlo's missing, eh?
- Yeah.
224
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,507
Mm, the game is afoot.
225
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:37,745
You know, this house does
have a belfry filled with local bats.
226
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:39,280
Maybe Laszlo went up there.
227
00:09:39,313 --> 00:09:42,349
Oh, so like my darling
perverted husband,
228
00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:44,285
to sniff out the local bordello
229
00:09:44,318 --> 00:09:46,153
immediately upon
arrival. [chuckles]
230
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,655
Could you take me to the belfry?
231
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:50,691
Of course I can. And
also, before we go,
232
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:53,694
- would you like to take in?
- Uh, you know?
233
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:55,663
I saw some art last
year. So I'm good.
234
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:57,364
- This way?
- Okay.
235
00:09:57,397 --> 00:10:00,301
- Your move.
- Yes.
236
00:10:00,334 --> 00:10:02,403
- Two at once.
- [exhaling softly]
237
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:04,104
Inspired.
238
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:07,808
This is the belfry, and
where there's a belfry,
239
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:09,510
- there's bound to be...
- Bats.
240
00:10:09,543 --> 00:10:11,645
Yes, that is so like my Laszlo.
241
00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:14,281
Laszlo is so lucky to
have someone like you.
242
00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:16,092
-[stairs creaking] -Someone
who cares about him
243
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,352
and worries about
his well-being.
244
00:10:18,385 --> 00:10:20,521
Well, yes, Laszlo is
not just my husband,
245
00:10:20,554 --> 00:10:24,491
or my number one fuckbuddy,
but he is also my best friend.
246
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:25,492
Must be nice.
247
00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:27,227
Laszlo, you little pervert,
248
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:29,096
- here I come.
- [thudding]
249
00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,364
[both scream]
250
00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:32,166
What the fuck is
behind that door?
251
00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:34,335
Let me go first,
to keep you safe.
252
00:10:34,368 --> 00:10:35,569
[Nadja] Be careful.
253
00:10:37,371 --> 00:10:40,374
[shouts, screams]
254
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:41,675
Nadja, help!
255
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:43,510
- Yes, I'm coming.
- Help!
256
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,646
Here I come. I'm coming to he...
257
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,480
- [floorboards crashing]
- [Nadja screams]
258
00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:49,617
[pants]
259
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,651
[laughing]
260
00:10:53,587 --> 00:10:55,289
It was just my eyes
playing tricks on me.
261
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:56,490
It's nothing.
262
00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:57,625
[groans]
263
00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:59,426
Nadja, come back up!
264
00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:01,461
Let's look for Laszl... oh.
265
00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:04,632
Oh, no.
266
00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:06,433
-[horn playing] -[Nandor]
Hurry, Guillermo.
267
00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:07,668
That horn signifies
268
00:11:07,701 --> 00:11:09,203
the release of the humans.
269
00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:11,472
They're getting a
head start on us.
270
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:13,340
They must be college athletes.
271
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:16,176
- The most challenging prey.
- [shouts]
272
00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:18,545
Did you catch their scent?
273
00:11:18,578 --> 00:11:19,747
- What?
- Lead me.
274
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:21,348
No. I'm not a bloodhound.
275
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:24,418
Here. You can catch
their scent from this.
276
00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:26,220
No, I'm not gonna touch that.
277
00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:28,231
Just get your muzzle in
there and get a nice big whiff.
278
00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:29,499
- No.
- You can track them with this.
279
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:30,491
You know what? How about this?
280
00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:32,092
You wait here,
281
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:33,770
and I'm gonna go and
you wait for my signal.
282
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,496
- Okay?
- Signal?
283
00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:37,364
Yeah. You wait for it, okay?
284
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,242
- [Nandor] What's the signal?
- [Guillermo] You'll see!
285
00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:40,768
[Nandor] Look at him go.
286
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:44,071
Guy like that catches a
whiff of something musky,
287
00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:46,740
he absolutely will not stop.
288
00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:48,351
-[indistinct chatter
over phone] -Oh, yeah.
289
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,644
I just ran into the woods
and then circled back in
290
00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:52,146
when Nandor wasn't looking.
291
00:11:52,179 --> 00:11:56,650
[whistling tune]
292
00:11:57,718 --> 00:12:00,087
The key to hunting humans
293
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,423
is to divide and then crush.
294
00:12:02,456 --> 00:12:06,126
If the humans begin
operating in a pack,
295
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:08,128
they can be very formidable.
296
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,130
But they're usually
too dumb for that
297
00:12:10,163 --> 00:12:11,832
and end up just scattering.
298
00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:13,233
[distant dog barking]
299
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:14,535
- Guillermo?
- [dog barks]
300
00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:16,337
- What have you found?
- [dog barks]
301
00:12:16,370 --> 00:12:18,105
What a good boy!
302
00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:20,140
I just don't have the
heart to, like, hunt humans.
303
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,408
Yet.
304
00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:23,210
I know I'll have
to do it eventually,
305
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,646
but... I'm just not feeling it.
306
00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:27,648
Guillermo!
307
00:12:27,681 --> 00:12:28,816
Here, boy. [smooching]
308
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:30,351
[Guide groaning]
309
00:12:30,384 --> 00:12:33,087
- What the fuck?
- I'm not going to lie.
310
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,356
This is as bad as it looks.
311
00:12:35,389 --> 00:12:36,824
[Nandor] It looks pretty bad.
312
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:39,360
What are you even
doing all the way out here?
313
00:12:39,393 --> 00:12:40,628
I was looking for you.
314
00:12:40,661 --> 00:12:42,696
Nadja and Laszlo
have disappeared.
315
00:12:42,729 --> 00:12:45,099
You're worrying
about nothing. It's fine.
316
00:12:45,132 --> 00:12:46,500
Okay, let me find a stick,
317
00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:48,469
and I will pry your
leg from the trap.
318
00:12:48,502 --> 00:12:50,671
- A stick, stick, stick, stick, stick.
- Oh, no.
319
00:12:50,704 --> 00:12:53,140
- What?
- They're coming.
320
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:54,475
[whimpers]
321
00:12:54,508 --> 00:12:57,077
And they seem to
be working as a team.
322
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,613
Nandor, if you must
leave me behind...
323
00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:00,748
- I must. See you.
- Oh.
324
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:02,249
Bye.
325
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:05,386
Guillermo! I am in
need of your help!
326
00:13:05,419 --> 00:13:07,621
Guillermo... oh! [shouting]
327
00:13:07,654 --> 00:13:09,623
♪ ♪
328
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:11,692
- Where is everyone?
- Mm.
329
00:13:11,725 --> 00:13:13,794
An intriguing question.
330
00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:19,433
But perhaps one I should
be asking you, no, monsieur?
331
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:20,634
What are you talking about?
332
00:13:22,669 --> 00:13:24,805
Quite the "predict-ament"
333
00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:27,474
we find ourselves
in here tonight,
334
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:29,243
no, Guillermo?
335
00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:33,113
Not a soul in sight.
Just you and me.
336
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:35,715
"And then there were two."
337
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:39,219
Again, what are
you talking about?
338
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:41,488
I know it was you, Guillermo.
339
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:44,491
I know it was you
who lured us all here
340
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:46,126
under false pretenses.
341
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,495
And it's you who's
making everyone disappear
342
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:52,099
- one by one.
- What?
343
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:54,068
That's bananas. Why
would I even do that?
344
00:13:54,101 --> 00:13:56,804
Because you know that Nandor
is eventually gonna find out
345
00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:59,340
that you went and got
yourself turned into a vampire
346
00:13:59,373 --> 00:14:01,475
- by someone other than him.
- Okay.
347
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,210
So, then why not
just kill Nandor?
348
00:14:03,243 --> 00:14:04,345
Why kill everyone else?
349
00:14:04,378 --> 00:14:06,780
Uh...
350
00:14:06,813 --> 00:14:08,282
Um, because...
351
00:14:08,315 --> 00:14:09,750
we all know your secret.
352
00:14:09,783 --> 00:14:12,219
Okay, so then I kill everyone
353
00:14:12,252 --> 00:14:14,788
because I want to keep
the secret from Nandor,
354
00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:17,091
but then I still
kill Nandor, too?
355
00:14:17,124 --> 00:14:19,192
♪ ♪
356
00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:21,695
Huh.
357
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:23,631
Well, maybe I missed a clue.
358
00:14:23,664 --> 00:14:26,767
[stammers] Is it something
where the last person alive
359
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,469
inherits the house?
360
00:14:28,502 --> 00:14:30,504
- No.
- Yeah, well, even when I was saying that,
361
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:31,739
that didn't really make sense.
362
00:14:31,772 --> 00:14:34,475
- [door opens]
- [groaning]
363
00:14:34,508 --> 00:14:35,743
Zut alors!
364
00:14:35,776 --> 00:14:37,778
- What happened?
- Now Nandor is gone.
365
00:14:37,811 --> 00:14:41,482
I was caught in a trap and I
told him to leave me behind.
366
00:14:41,515 --> 00:14:44,218
And he did. Like,
really quickly.
367
00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:46,086
Like you would
think he would say,
368
00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:47,821
"No, I'm not going
to leave you behind,"
369
00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:50,491
just to be nice,
but he took off.
370
00:14:50,524 --> 00:14:53,160
And then he got
swooped up into the trees
371
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:54,361
and I couldn't find him.
372
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:56,430
And then there were three.
373
00:14:56,463 --> 00:14:57,798
[Guillermo] Can I take a look?
374
00:14:57,831 --> 00:15:00,134
It's all right, Guillermo.
I'm a vampire.
375
00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:02,336
- It'll heal by tomorrow.
- You sure?
376
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:04,138
- Does it hurt?
- [Guide] Not much.
377
00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:05,748
Let's at least level it up,
see what we're dealing with.
378
00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:06,740
- Careful. Careful.
- All right.
379
00:15:06,773 --> 00:15:07,741
- [leg cracks]
- [shouts]
380
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:09,109
That's a lot of blood.
381
00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:10,611
[Guide] Thank you for caring.
382
00:15:10,644 --> 00:15:13,514
You know, a small act of
kindness can mean so much.
383
00:15:13,547 --> 00:15:16,383
And every day, we're
given so many opportunities
384
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:18,118
to be kind to someone else.
385
00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:20,154
You know, to make
them feel included,
386
00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:22,623
to make them feel like
they're part of the old gang.
387
00:15:22,656 --> 00:15:24,558
Doesn't seem like much to ask.
388
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:26,527
But for some people, I guess
389
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:28,762
it's just something
they won't do,
390
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:30,397
even though they should know
391
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,766
it would mean the world
to some other people.
392
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:35,636
Do you know what
it's like to know
393
00:15:35,669 --> 00:15:39,740
there's a whole group of buddies
and no matter what you do,
394
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:42,743
they will never see you
as part of that group?
395
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:44,411
I do.
396
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,280
For all those years,
I was just a familiar.
397
00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:47,657
- I always felt like I...
- I'm sorry, Guillermo.
398
00:15:47,681 --> 00:15:50,517
I wasn't asking you.
I was asking him.
399
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,519
Ah.
400
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:54,622
The Celtics won. Noice.
401
00:15:54,655 --> 00:15:56,557
- Colin.
- Yeah.
402
00:15:56,590 --> 00:15:59,360
What? Were you saying something?
403
00:15:59,393 --> 00:16:01,261
Oh, fuck it. These
can't all be clever.
404
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:04,632
- [screams]
- [Guillermo gasps]
405
00:16:04,665 --> 00:16:06,666
- [scream fading]
- [thunder rumbling]
406
00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:14,475
- [quietly] This way.
- [Nandor
407
00:16:14,508 --> 00:16:16,277
-[gasps] -[Guillermo]
What the hell?
408
00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:18,479
Finally. Quickly.
409
00:16:18,512 --> 00:16:20,748
Someone or something
has imprisoned all of us.
410
00:16:20,781 --> 00:16:23,484
[Laszlo] No, you fucking
doughnut. It's her that did it.
411
00:16:23,517 --> 00:16:25,486
- [laughs] Guilty as charged.
- [Nandor] What?
412
00:16:25,519 --> 00:16:27,087
- [hisses]
- [Guide] Tee-hee.
413
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:29,089
[laughs] And I see
you're all taking nicely
414
00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:30,557
to your new homes, yes?
415
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,293
Solid silver.
416
00:16:32,326 --> 00:16:33,761
- [sizzles]
- Ay, fucking silver.
417
00:16:33,794 --> 00:16:35,596
[Guide] Careful.
418
00:16:35,629 --> 00:16:38,365
Well, I'm immune to silver,
so good luck keeping me in.
419
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:40,634
- Oh, do you have the key?
- Touché.
420
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:43,604
What is this despicable
torture that you have concocted?
421
00:16:43,637 --> 00:16:46,574
But I like to think of
it as a lesson, really.
422
00:16:46,607 --> 00:16:47,741
An education.
423
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:49,443
Did Perdita put you up to this?
424
00:16:49,476 --> 00:16:51,612
[laughing] Perdita?
425
00:16:51,645 --> 00:16:52,813
You mean...
426
00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:54,281
[Perdita's voice] Morrigan Manor
427
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:55,558
- can be a treacherous place...
- [gasps]
428
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:57,451
[normal voice] ...et
cetera, et cetera?
429
00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:59,553
- You mean that Perdita?
- [Nadja] Witch.
430
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,555
- [Laszlo] Well done.
- It was me the whole time.
431
00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:03,057
Yeah, no doy.
432
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:05,292
I-I knew when you
shot me from my chair.
433
00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:07,628
- [Guide] Good.
- Quite a glass onion.
434
00:17:07,661 --> 00:17:09,205
[Nandor] [quietly] I
think Perdita Morrigan
435
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:11,432
is pretending to be The Guide.
436
00:17:11,465 --> 00:17:13,100
No, you fucking idiot.
437
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:15,402
She just said that it
was her that was doing it.
438
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:17,271
- Who?
- [Nadja] Fucking hell.
439
00:17:17,304 --> 00:17:18,681
- Let me just say this slowly.
- [Laszlo] I wouldn't bother.
440
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:19,673
- I'd just carry on.
- [Guide] Should I not?
441
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,208
-No. -[Colin] Yeah.
442
00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:22,452
I know that Perdita
spends the offseason
443
00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:24,278
at her chalet in Gstaad,
444
00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:26,080
and that her mansion
would be empty.
445
00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:28,215
And the perfect
place to teach you all
446
00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:30,217
a valuable lesson
447
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:32,720
about the importance
of being nice to people
448
00:17:32,753 --> 00:17:35,322
who maybe aren't
part of your core group
449
00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:37,291
but who have done a
lot of nice things for you
450
00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:39,493
and yet you still
treat them like shit.
451
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:41,829
[Nadja] Wait,
you did all of this
452
00:17:41,862 --> 00:17:43,497
instead of just asking us
453
00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:45,633
to have a short conversation
about your feelings?
454
00:17:45,666 --> 00:17:48,478
- Yeah, I guess I did. [chuckles]
- Okay, I think you taught them a lesson,
455
00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:50,280
-so now we just get them...
[groans] -No, Guillermo.
456
00:17:50,304 --> 00:17:52,306
My lesson has but only begun.
457
00:17:52,339 --> 00:17:53,807
You will each
458
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:57,077
spend the rest of
your eternal lives here.
459
00:17:57,110 --> 00:18:01,081
Close to each other
yet kept at a distance.
460
00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:05,452
So you will know how you have
made me feel this whole time.
461
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:07,354
Always on the outside.
462
00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:09,423
And every time
I try to get close,
463
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:11,558
- I get burned.
- [Nadja] I thought
464
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:13,360
you really liked us.
465
00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:14,361
I did.
466
00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:16,096
Deeply and desperately.
467
00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:18,732
And all I wanted
was for you to like me.
468
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:21,435
Instead, you treated me like...
469
00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:23,337
an afterthought.
470
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:28,609
I have got absolutely no really
close female friends anymore.
471
00:18:28,642 --> 00:18:29,543
An annoyance.
472
00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:31,478
Oh, nice going, dipshit.
473
00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:33,080
A hanger-on.
474
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:34,424
Stand over there and
just pretend not to listen.
475
00:18:34,448 --> 00:18:35,449
I can do that.
476
00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:36,617
An inconvenience.
477
00:18:36,650 --> 00:18:38,619
You did R-S-veep "yes."
478
00:18:38,652 --> 00:18:42,423
Sort of had to shuffle things
around at this late stage.
479
00:18:42,456 --> 00:18:45,559
So this is basically
a clip show now?
480
00:18:45,592 --> 00:18:46,827
Are we Golden Girls?
481
00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:48,295
You know, I'm starting to think
482
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:50,764
that this might
be all of my fault.
483
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:54,201
This is the hex that I
have been cursed with.
484
00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:55,436
[Guide] Oh,
485
00:18:55,469 --> 00:18:57,338
- my dear Mistress Nadja.
- [sniffles]
486
00:18:57,371 --> 00:18:59,406
- I have good news.
- Huh?
487
00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:01,141
There is no hex.
488
00:19:01,174 --> 00:19:03,043
There never was a hex.
489
00:19:03,076 --> 00:19:04,354
-[gasping] -I just
made you think
490
00:19:04,378 --> 00:19:06,313
- there was a hex.
- What?
491
00:19:06,346 --> 00:19:07,624
- Witch!
- [Colin] Did not have that
492
00:19:07,648 --> 00:19:10,584
on my 2023 bingo card.
493
00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:12,820
- Why?!
- So that I could try to help you.
494
00:19:12,853 --> 00:19:15,823
-[Laszlo chuckles] -So that you
would, I don't know, see me as a friend,
495
00:19:15,856 --> 00:19:17,825
treat me as a friend.
496
00:19:17,858 --> 00:19:20,094
I did say thank you for
your help with the hex.
497
00:19:20,127 --> 00:19:21,629
- Not once.
- I meant to?
498
00:19:21,662 --> 00:19:24,331
- You didn't.
- Thank you so much.
499
00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:25,466
- Too late!
- [groans]
500
00:19:25,499 --> 00:19:27,067
Even to the bitter end,
501
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:28,736
hoping against hope,
502
00:19:28,769 --> 00:19:32,206
I gave each of you one
last chance to show me
503
00:19:32,239 --> 00:19:35,209
the smallest amount of kindness.
504
00:19:35,242 --> 00:19:36,744
And even that was beyond you!
505
00:19:36,777 --> 00:19:40,147
-[hisses] -No one told
us it was a fucking test.
506
00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:42,358
- W-Wait, why isn't Gumball in here with us?
- [Laszlo chuckles]
507
00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:45,352
Because Guillermo is the
only one out of all of you
508
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:47,488
that has ever shown
me any kindness.
509
00:19:47,521 --> 00:19:49,356
- [coughs] Brownnoser.
- And yet you all
510
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:51,325
treat him so shabbily
511
00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:54,228
that even after all this
time of waiting to become
512
00:19:54,261 --> 00:19:55,429
one of you...
513
00:19:55,462 --> 00:19:56,764
he's forced to give up
514
00:19:56,797 --> 00:19:59,065
and take matters
into his own hands.
515
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:02,069
Sorry, what?
516
00:20:02,102 --> 00:20:03,413
-[sighs] -Well, I
think, y-you know,
517
00:20:03,437 --> 00:20:05,172
I don't think they
mean to exclude you.
518
00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:06,416
- Guillermo, do not stick up for them.
- I'm not...
519
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:07,684
[Nandor] Circling
back to "taking matters
520
00:20:07,708 --> 00:20:09,343
into his own hands..."
521
00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:11,445
Well, I don't think that's
the point. The point is,
522
00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:12,722
- those paintings are very important.
- Well, it kind of is the point.
523
00:20:12,746 --> 00:20:14,214
Is anyone else
curious about this?
524
00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:15,282
Laszlo?
525
00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:16,684
Nadja? Curiosity there at all?
526
00:20:16,717 --> 00:20:18,419
I-I like this cage.
527
00:20:18,452 --> 00:20:20,588
- Colin Robinson? Any...
- No, sir.
528
00:20:20,621 --> 00:20:22,332
[Nandor] Okay, you
know, it kind of feels like
529
00:20:22,356 --> 00:20:24,725
there's something going
on and everyone knows
530
00:20:24,758 --> 00:20:26,627
what it is except me.
531
00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:28,062
- [Nadja sputters]
- Awkward.
532
00:20:28,095 --> 00:20:30,631
[thunder rumbling]
533
00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:32,199
Master.
534
00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:33,700
Yes?
535
00:20:34,635 --> 00:20:36,136
I, uh...
536
00:20:36,169 --> 00:20:37,271
Spit it out.
537
00:20:37,304 --> 00:20:39,406
I made a-a big mistake.
538
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:42,543
And I didn't want to tell you
because I didn't want to hurt...
539
00:20:42,576 --> 00:20:44,078
you.
540
00:20:44,111 --> 00:20:45,822
-[Laszlo mouths] -I had
someone else turn me
541
00:20:45,846 --> 00:20:47,481
into a vampire.
542
00:20:47,514 --> 00:20:49,283
I-I asked them to do it.
543
00:20:49,316 --> 00:20:50,426
[Laszlo] [whispers] Oh, fuck.
544
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:52,452
♪ ♪
545
00:20:56,523 --> 00:20:58,058
You asked...
546
00:20:58,859 --> 00:21:00,560
someone else?
547
00:21:01,528 --> 00:21:04,664
A vampire who was not me?
548
00:21:05,732 --> 00:21:08,135
I felt like I had
no other choice.
549
00:21:08,168 --> 00:21:09,403
You could have asked me.
550
00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:11,205
Are you fucking kidding me?
551
00:21:11,238 --> 00:21:13,707
I asked you
repeatedly for 13 years.
552
00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:16,477
Yes, and I was
gonna get round to it.
553
00:21:16,510 --> 00:21:18,412
I've had a lot on my
plate at the moment!
554
00:21:18,445 --> 00:21:20,080
[thunder rumbling]
555
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:21,148
- Who?
- What?
556
00:21:21,181 --> 00:21:22,349
Who was it?
557
00:21:22,382 --> 00:21:24,084
I don't think that's
really relevant.
558
00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:25,695
- It's relevant to me.
- It's just, what's done is done.
559
00:21:25,719 --> 00:21:27,053
- Guillermo!
- Derek.
560
00:21:28,322 --> 00:21:29,823
Okay.
561
00:21:29,856 --> 00:21:31,825
Well, thank you for
being honest with me.
562
00:21:31,858 --> 00:21:33,494
- Okay.
- I appreciate it.
563
00:21:33,527 --> 00:21:36,063
Now I'm going to
be honest with you.
564
00:21:36,096 --> 00:21:37,164
This is good.
565
00:21:37,197 --> 00:21:38,365
I...
566
00:21:38,398 --> 00:21:39,500
am going...
567
00:21:39,533 --> 00:21:40,768
to kill you,
568
00:21:40,801 --> 00:21:42,303
Guillermo.
569
00:21:42,336 --> 00:21:44,071
And then quite possibly myself.
570
00:21:44,104 --> 00:21:45,406
[whispers] It all depends
571
00:21:45,439 --> 00:21:47,041
on whether I'm still completely
572
00:21:47,074 --> 00:21:49,176
and utterly humiliated
573
00:21:49,209 --> 00:21:50,444
after I'm done killing you!
574
00:21:50,477 --> 00:21:52,146
- [grunts, screams]
- [sizzling]
575
00:21:52,179 --> 00:21:54,223
[Laszlo] Whoa-whoa-whoa,
if it makes you feel any better,
576
00:21:54,247 --> 00:21:55,583
he's only a half-baked vampire.
577
00:21:55,616 --> 00:21:58,052
Yes, I know. He has
Van Helsing blood.
578
00:21:58,085 --> 00:21:59,753
His vampire-killer cells
579
00:21:59,786 --> 00:22:02,423
are fighting off his vampire
cells with all their might.
580
00:22:02,456 --> 00:22:06,093
- Okay. That's what's going on.
- Oh, shit.
581
00:22:06,126 --> 00:22:08,162
- Fuck.
- Another mystery solved.
582
00:22:08,195 --> 00:22:09,439
Well, you live and learn, right?
583
00:22:09,463 --> 00:22:10,764
[Colin, Nadja and Laszlo laugh]
584
00:22:10,797 --> 00:22:13,067
Master, if you would
just let me talk...
585
00:22:13,100 --> 00:22:14,535
You're a dead man!
586
00:22:14,568 --> 00:22:16,770
[growls]
587
00:22:24,278 --> 00:22:26,046
Stay back there.
And in the meantime,
588
00:22:26,079 --> 00:22:28,249
where are the
documentarians? Behind me?
589
00:22:28,282 --> 00:22:29,617
There you are. I say,
590
00:22:29,650 --> 00:22:32,086
could you find the tapes
591
00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:36,423
from November the 21st, 2022?
592
00:22:38,258 --> 00:22:42,096
[Colin] Yeah. I know she
doesn't have, like, a last name
593
00:22:42,129 --> 00:22:44,331
or a first name,
for that matter,
594
00:22:44,364 --> 00:22:47,735
but I-I just think that
The Guide is really nice.
595
00:22:47,768 --> 00:22:49,112
[Laszlo] I'd say she's more
than nice, Colin Robinson.
596
00:22:49,136 --> 00:22:50,671
She has a tremendous wit
597
00:22:50,704 --> 00:22:52,640
and a fantastic backside.
598
00:22:52,673 --> 00:22:54,484
[Nadja] That would usually
make me very jealous,
599
00:22:54,508 --> 00:22:56,777
if I didn't completely agree!
600
00:22:56,810 --> 00:22:59,580
And, you know, she's
also a very good listener.
601
00:22:59,613 --> 00:23:01,482
And once you get
used to that voice,
602
00:23:01,515 --> 00:23:04,184
she has some very
interesting things to say.
603
00:23:04,217 --> 00:23:06,296
[Nandor] I have often thought,
as I've searched for a wife,
604
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:09,290
that the answer might
just be here under my nose
605
00:23:09,323 --> 00:23:10,591
the whole time.
606
00:23:10,624 --> 00:23:12,192
I think that's enough now, Ryan.
607
00:23:12,225 --> 00:23:13,436
You can turn that
off. She gets the point.
608
00:23:13,460 --> 00:23:15,129
- Oh. -Thank you.
- [beep]
609
00:23:15,162 --> 00:23:16,797
That was so lovely.
610
00:23:16,830 --> 00:23:20,167
But how come none of you
ever said any of this to me?
611
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,303
Because we're vampires,
612
00:23:22,336 --> 00:23:24,505
my squeaky-voiced,
613
00:23:24,538 --> 00:23:27,608
fucking berserk,
nutjob, idiot friend.
614
00:23:27,641 --> 00:23:31,345
And sometimes we're not
too good with the old niceties
615
00:23:31,378 --> 00:23:33,514
and kindness towards
those we care about.
616
00:23:33,547 --> 00:23:35,316
But our hearts...
617
00:23:35,349 --> 00:23:37,151
are full of love.
618
00:23:37,184 --> 00:23:39,319
[Nadja] He's not wrong.
619
00:23:42,656 --> 00:23:44,158
I am so embarrassed.
620
00:23:44,191 --> 00:23:45,593
Oh!
621
00:23:45,626 --> 00:23:47,494
Don't sweat it, girly.
We all make mistakes.
622
00:23:47,527 --> 00:23:49,229
Now let-let me out now.
623
00:23:49,262 --> 00:23:50,573
- [chuckles] Okay. -Come on.
- [Laszlo] Here we are.
624
00:23:50,597 --> 00:23:52,466
Forgive and forget,
that's what I say.
625
00:23:52,499 --> 00:23:55,269
Now let me out of this
cage so I can kill Guillermo.
626
00:23:55,302 --> 00:23:57,171
[Guide] Guess I
kind of got in my head
627
00:23:57,204 --> 00:23:58,781
- a little bit. [laughing] -Yes.
- [Lazlo] Yes,
628
00:23:58,805 --> 00:24:00,641
I think you did.
629
00:24:00,674 --> 00:24:02,476
- [squeaking] -Ooh!
- [Laszlo] Fuck.
630
00:24:02,509 --> 00:24:03,753
I've never been able to do that.
631
00:24:03,777 --> 00:24:04,745
[Nandor] Now you're
just rubbing it in.
632
00:24:04,778 --> 00:24:06,546
Very Derek.
633
00:24:07,681 --> 00:24:09,650
Master, if I let you
out of this cage,
634
00:24:09,683 --> 00:24:11,251
do you promise not to kill me?
635
00:24:12,686 --> 00:24:14,154
I promise.
636
00:24:14,187 --> 00:24:15,456
You mean it?
637
00:24:15,489 --> 00:24:16,724
No!
638
00:24:16,757 --> 00:24:18,325
- [keys jangle]
- What are you doing?
639
00:24:18,358 --> 00:24:19,636
I'm giving you a head
start, you knob lord.
640
00:24:19,660 --> 00:24:20,737
[Nandor] Laszlo, let
me out of this cage
641
00:24:20,761 --> 00:24:22,596
so I can kill Guillermo!
642
00:24:22,629 --> 00:24:23,764
Give me that key!
643
00:24:23,797 --> 00:24:24,665
[Laszlo] If I were you, I'd run.
644
00:24:24,698 --> 00:24:26,566
Run, boy, run!
645
00:24:27,367 --> 00:24:29,803
- [squeaking]
- [Nandor] Guillermo...!
646
00:24:29,836 --> 00:24:32,072
[sizzling]
647
00:24:33,373 --> 00:24:35,408
["Damnation Alley"
by Bitch playing]
648
00:24:42,582 --> 00:24:44,752
I have often thought, as
I've searched for a wife,
649
00:24:44,785 --> 00:24:47,554
that the answer might
just be here under my nose
650
00:24:47,587 --> 00:24:49,256
- the whole time.
- [Nadja] I know.
651
00:24:49,289 --> 00:24:50,791
She also has such great style.
652
00:24:50,824 --> 00:24:52,793
All those blacks and grays.
653
00:24:52,826 --> 00:24:54,628
Oh, I see.
654
00:24:54,661 --> 00:24:57,298
I get it. You guys are...
655
00:24:57,331 --> 00:24:59,700
trying to get me
to hook up with her
656
00:24:59,733 --> 00:25:01,602
and so we become a couple
657
00:25:01,635 --> 00:25:04,805
and I eventually move out
and leave you guys alone.
658
00:25:04,838 --> 00:25:07,041
- I get it. -What?
- LASZLO: What?
659
00:25:07,074 --> 00:25:09,152
- We would never do that.
- [blows raspberry] -NADJA: Of course not!
660
00:25:09,176 --> 00:25:13,180
♪ Damnation, Damnation Alley ♪
661
00:25:13,213 --> 00:25:16,450
♪ Don't walk alone
through the valley ♪
662
00:25:16,483 --> 00:25:18,118
♪ Yeah ♪
663
00:25:18,151 --> 00:25:19,353
♪ Damnation ♪
664
00:25:19,386 --> 00:25:22,189
♪ Damnation Alley ♪
665
00:25:22,222 --> 00:25:27,194
♪ Don't walk alone
through the valley, yeah ♪
666
00:25:27,227 --> 00:25:28,395
♪ Damnation ♪
667
00:25:28,428 --> 00:25:31,599
♪ Damnation Alley ♪
668
00:25:31,632 --> 00:25:36,437
♪ You'll never get
out of here alive ♪
669
00:25:36,470 --> 00:25:37,605
♪ Damnation ♪
670
00:25:37,638 --> 00:25:40,507
♪ Damnation Alley ♪
671
00:25:40,540 --> 00:25:45,446
♪ Don't walk alone
through the valley, yeah ♪
672
00:25:45,479 --> 00:25:46,780
♪ Damnation ♪
673
00:25:46,813 --> 00:25:49,316
♪ Damnation Alley ♪
674
00:25:49,349 --> 00:25:51,752
♪ You'll never get out of here ♪
675
00:25:51,785 --> 00:25:53,754
[echoing]
♪ Alive. ♪
676
00:25:53,787 --> 00:25:59,059
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