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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:06,016 --> 00:01:07,816 Since the beginning of time... 2 00:01:09,139 --> 00:01:12,063 Since the first little girl ever existed 3 00:01:13,009 --> 00:01:14,843 There have been 4 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,000 Dolls 5 00:01:18,607 --> 00:01:21,126 But dolls were always and forever 6 00:01:21,288 --> 00:01:22,589 Baby dolls 7 00:01:24,682 --> 00:01:28,732 The girls who played with them could only every play at being mother 8 00:01:29,338 --> 00:01:30,931 Which can be fun... 9 00:01:31,863 --> 00:01:33,976 At least for a while anyway 10 00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:36,963 Ask your mother 11 00:01:39,294 --> 00:01:41,257 This continued until 12 00:02:48,367 --> 00:02:51,144 Yes, Barbie changed everything 13 00:02:51,991 --> 00:02:54,432 Then she changed it all again 14 00:02:54,971 --> 00:02:56,724 All of these women are Barbie 15 00:02:57,017 --> 00:02:59,916 and Barbie is all of these women 16 00:03:00,731 --> 00:03:03,957 She might have started out as just a lady in a bathing suit, 17 00:03:04,077 --> 00:03:06,451 but she became so much more 18 00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:09,489 She has her own money, her own house, 19 00:03:09,609 --> 00:03:12,343 her own car, her own career 20 00:03:13,442 --> 00:03:17,824 Because Barbie can be anything, women can be anything 21 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:20,537 And this has been reflected back 22 00:03:20,657 --> 00:03:24,039 onto the little girls of today in the real world 23 00:03:24,762 --> 00:03:26,514 Girls can grow into women 24 00:03:26,634 --> 00:03:30,448 who can achieve everything and anything they set their mind to 25 00:03:30,989 --> 00:03:32,341 Thanks to Barbie 26 00:03:32,461 --> 00:03:35,535 all problems of feminism and equal rights 27 00:03:35,971 --> 00:03:37,616 have been solved 28 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:41,624 At least that's what the Barbies think 29 00:03:41,744 --> 00:03:44,458 After all, they're living in Barbie Land 30 00:03:44,954 --> 00:03:47,065 Who am I to burst their bubble? 31 00:03:48,121 --> 00:03:50,531 And here is one of those Barbies now 32 00:03:50,651 --> 00:03:53,474 Living her best day every day 33 00:05:51,433 --> 00:05:53,283 When you're playing with Barbies 34 00:05:53,435 --> 00:05:57,290 Nobody bothers to walk them down the stairs and out the door etc. 35 00:05:57,977 --> 00:06:00,834 You just pick them up and put them where you want them to go 36 00:06:03,753 --> 00:06:05,754 You use your imagination. 37 00:06:10,041 --> 00:06:11,620 - Hi, Skipper! - Hi, Barbie! 38 00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:12,233 Hi, Midge! 39 00:06:12,234 --> 00:06:14,525 Midge was Barbie's pregnant friend. 40 00:06:15,105 --> 00:06:18,282 Well let's not show Midge actually She was discontinued by Mattel 41 00:06:18,402 --> 00:06:20,873 because a pregnant doll is just too weird. 42 00:06:20,993 --> 00:06:24,693 Anyway, Barbie has another big day ahead of her. 43 00:06:24,900 --> 00:06:25,984 Hi, Barbie! 44 00:06:27,457 --> 00:06:29,057 - Hi, Barbie! - Morning, Barbie! 45 00:06:29,379 --> 00:06:30,879 Hi! 46 00:06:30,979 --> 00:06:32,979 - Have another great day! - Good morning Barbie! 47 00:06:32,980 --> 00:06:34,679 Hi! 48 00:06:34,704 --> 00:06:36,304 Hey, ladies! 49 00:06:39,190 --> 00:06:40,937 Everybody, turn to the Barbie next to you. 50 00:06:40,961 --> 00:06:43,009 Tell her how much you love her, compliment her. 51 00:06:43,129 --> 00:06:45,216 Reporter Barbie, you can ask me any question you want. 52 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:46,739 How come you're so amazing? 53 00:06:46,803 --> 00:06:47,953 No comment. 54 00:06:50,057 --> 00:06:51,515 No seriously, no comment. 55 00:06:53,333 --> 00:06:54,644 I love you guys. 56 00:06:54,764 --> 00:06:56,769 The Nobel Prize for Journalism 57 00:06:57,094 --> 00:06:58,744 goes to Barbie! 58 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:01,507 I work very hard so I deserve it. 59 00:07:01,627 --> 00:07:04,563 And the Nobel Prize for Literature goes to Barbie. 60 00:07:04,991 --> 00:07:07,591 - You are the voice of a generation. - I know. 61 00:07:07,854 --> 00:07:09,897 In our assessment, money is not speech and 62 00:07:09,921 --> 00:07:12,665 corporations have no free speech rights to begin with 63 00:07:12,785 --> 00:07:15,206 So any claim on their part to be exercising their right 64 00:07:15,326 --> 00:07:18,893 is just their attempt to turn our democracy into a plutocracy 65 00:07:19,964 --> 00:07:22,145 This makes me emotional and I'm expressing it 66 00:07:22,565 --> 00:07:27,482 I have no difficulty holding both logic and feeling at the same time 67 00:07:27,540 --> 00:07:29,788 And it does not diminish my powers 68 00:07:30,133 --> 00:07:31,383 It expands them 69 00:07:40,417 --> 00:07:41,452 Hi Barbie! 70 00:07:42,264 --> 00:07:44,414 What can't Barbie do? 71 00:07:45,363 --> 00:07:46,391 - Hi, Barbie! - Hi, Barbie! 72 00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:48,462 Yay space! 73 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:51,300 Gosh 74 00:07:56,950 --> 00:07:59,350 Barbie has a great day every day 75 00:07:59,717 --> 00:08:03,278 But Ken only has a great day if Barbie looks at him. 76 00:08:10,377 --> 00:08:12,709 - Hi, Barbie! - Hi, Ken! 77 00:08:13,029 --> 00:08:14,724 - Hi, Barbie! - Hi, Barbie! 78 00:08:14,825 --> 00:08:15,839 Hi, Barbie! 79 00:08:15,864 --> 00:08:16,824 Hi, Ken! 80 00:08:17,025 --> 00:08:17,825 Hi, Ken. 81 00:08:18,426 --> 00:08:19,225 Hi, Ken! 82 00:08:18,550 --> 00:08:19,886 - Hi, Ken! - Hi, Ken! 83 00:08:19,706 --> 00:08:21,306 - I us both got ice creams - Cool 84 00:08:21,745 --> 00:08:23,432 - Hi, Barbie! - Hi, Barbie! 85 00:08:23,652 --> 00:08:25,042 - Hi, Barbie! - Hi, Barbie! 86 00:08:25,043 --> 00:08:25,537 Hi, Barbie! 87 00:08:25,562 --> 00:08:27,433 - Hi, Barbie! - Hi, Barbie! 88 00:08:27,434 --> 00:08:28,328 - Hi, Barbie! - Hi, Ken! 89 00:08:28,353 --> 00:08:30,361 - Hi, Barbie! - Hi, Barbie! 90 00:08:30,481 --> 00:08:31,757 Hi, Barbie! 91 00:08:31,777 --> 00:08:34,865 - Hi, Barbies! - Bye, Barbies! 92 00:08:35,042 --> 00:08:36,430 Hi, Barbie! 93 00:08:36,454 --> 00:08:37,842 Oh hi, Alan! 94 00:08:37,953 --> 00:08:40,741 There are no multiples of Alan, he's just Alan 95 00:08:40,761 --> 00:08:41,759 Yeah I'm ... uh .... 96 00:08:42,215 --> 00:08:43,558 confused about that 97 00:08:44,242 --> 00:08:46,208 Hey Barbie, check me out 98 00:09:04,547 --> 00:09:05,547 Ken! 99 00:09:22,778 --> 00:09:24,330 - Ken? - Oh hey, Barbie 100 00:09:24,350 --> 00:09:25,188 Hi 101 00:09:25,212 --> 00:09:26,733 How much of that did you see? 102 00:09:27,125 --> 00:09:28,225 We saw the whole thing 103 00:09:28,245 --> 00:09:29,887 Let's get you up on your feet Ken 104 00:09:30,007 --> 00:09:32,127 - You're just so strong - Use your legs 105 00:09:32,147 --> 00:09:34,226 - Are you ok? - Yep 106 00:09:34,930 --> 00:09:37,265 Looks like this beach was a little too much beach for you, Ken 107 00:09:37,385 --> 00:09:40,567 If I wasn't severly injured I would beach you off right now, Ken 108 00:09:40,587 --> 00:09:42,563 I'll beach off with you any day, Ken 109 00:09:42,587 --> 00:09:44,037 Hold my ice cream, Ken 110 00:09:44,715 --> 00:09:46,215 Alright Ken, you're on 111 00:09:47,246 --> 00:09:48,174 Let's beach off 112 00:09:48,294 --> 00:09:50,758 Anyone who wants to beach him off has to beach me off first 113 00:09:50,778 --> 00:09:53,033 I will beach both of you off at the same time 114 00:09:53,153 --> 00:09:54,817 But you don't even know how to beach yourself off, how are 115 00:09:54,841 --> 00:09:55,755 - you going to beach both of - Okay... 116 00:09:55,779 --> 00:09:56,605 us off that doesn't make sense 117 00:09:56,637 --> 00:09:58,464 - Kens? - Why are you getting emotional? 118 00:09:58,784 --> 00:10:01,384 - You're going to beach both of us off? - No one's going to beach anyone off 119 00:10:02,399 --> 00:10:03,299 Okay? 120 00:10:03,751 --> 00:10:04,551 Let's go 121 00:10:05,656 --> 00:10:06,807 Okay, okay 122 00:10:17,102 --> 00:10:18,302 Let's go 123 00:10:19,927 --> 00:10:22,167 - Barbie, hold my hand - You're okay 124 00:10:22,533 --> 00:10:24,233 Stay with me, Barbie 125 00:10:25,671 --> 00:10:28,493 Great, not even broken. You'll be fine 126 00:10:28,815 --> 00:10:31,458 Shredding waves is much more dangerous than people realize 127 00:10:31,482 --> 00:10:32,848 You're very brave, Ken 128 00:10:34,165 --> 00:10:35,789 - Thank you, Barbie - Yeah 129 00:10:35,884 --> 00:10:37,472 You know surfer is not even my job 130 00:10:37,592 --> 00:10:39,571 - I know - And it is not lifeguard 131 00:10:39,691 --> 00:10:41,394 Which is a common misconception 132 00:10:41,418 --> 00:10:42,261 Very common 133 00:10:42,281 --> 00:10:43,581 Yeah cus actually my job 134 00:10:44,874 --> 00:10:47,193 - It's just beach - Right 135 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:50,406 - And what a good job you do at beach - You should heal up in no time 136 00:10:50,426 --> 00:10:52,992 Actually, in the time that it took for me to say that sentence 137 00:10:53,016 --> 00:10:53,727 you healed 138 00:10:53,747 --> 00:10:55,272 - Fantastic - Nice! 139 00:10:55,392 --> 00:10:56,438 - Hey Barbie - Yeah? 140 00:10:56,558 --> 00:10:58,492 - Can I come to your house tonight? - Sure! 141 00:10:58,612 --> 00:11:00,782 I don't have anything big planned, just a giant blow out party 142 00:11:00,902 --> 00:11:03,346 with all the Barbies and planned choreography and a bespoke song 143 00:11:03,466 --> 00:11:04,616 You should stop by 144 00:11:05,057 --> 00:11:07,064 - So, cool? - Yeah. Okay 145 00:11:07,099 --> 00:11:08,399 - Bye! - Ok, bye. Goodbye 146 00:12:16,398 --> 00:12:18,698 - Hi, Barbie - Hi, Ken 147 00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:27,978 - Looking good, Barbie! - Thanks, Ken! 148 00:12:41,726 --> 00:12:43,376 - Oh hi, Ken! - Hi 149 00:12:45,168 --> 00:12:46,068 - Hi, Barbie! - Hi, Barbie! 150 00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:46,768 Barbie! 151 00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:49,043 What's up, Ken? 152 00:13:02,474 --> 00:13:03,824 Hey Barbie, check me out 153 00:13:07,754 --> 00:13:09,654 Bet you can't do a flip like that, Ken 154 00:13:11,242 --> 00:13:12,042 What? 155 00:13:12,512 --> 00:13:14,812 - This is a real rager, Barbie. - Thanks, Barbie! 156 00:13:14,813 --> 00:13:15,384 Gosh 157 00:13:15,409 --> 00:13:16,995 This night is just perfect! 158 00:13:17,019 --> 00:13:18,545 It's perfectly perfect 159 00:13:18,629 --> 00:13:20,909 And you look so beautiful, Barbie 160 00:13:20,929 --> 00:13:23,595 - Thanks, Barbie. I feel so beautiful - So do I 161 00:13:23,615 --> 00:13:26,124 - This is the best day ever - It is the best day ever 162 00:13:26,244 --> 00:13:28,216 And so was yesterday and so is tomorrow 163 00:13:28,236 --> 00:13:30,325 and so was the day after tomorrow and even Wednesdays 164 00:13:30,349 --> 00:13:32,238 every day from now until forever! 165 00:13:34,496 --> 00:13:36,496 Do you guys ever think about dying? 166 00:13:46,630 --> 00:13:48,280 I don't know why I just... 167 00:13:49,962 --> 00:13:52,299 I'm just dying to dance! 168 00:14:32,644 --> 00:14:34,008 You can go now 169 00:14:34,684 --> 00:14:37,148 - I thought I might stay over tonight - Why? 170 00:14:37,733 --> 00:14:40,233 - Because we're girlfriend boyfriend - To do what? 171 00:14:41,980 --> 00:14:43,206 I'm actually not sure 172 00:14:44,145 --> 00:14:46,186 Oh, but, I don't want you here 173 00:14:46,862 --> 00:14:49,189 - Is it Ken? - Ken's just a really good friend 174 00:14:49,409 --> 00:14:51,654 And this is my Dream House, it's Barbie's Dream House 175 00:14:51,678 --> 00:14:53,930 It's not Ken's Dream House, right? 176 00:14:54,795 --> 00:14:57,455 - Right as always - And it's girl's night 177 00:14:57,575 --> 00:14:59,426 Come on, Barbie! Slumber Party! 178 00:14:59,546 --> 00:15:02,289 - Hurry up, the President's here - I am! You're welcome 179 00:15:03,174 --> 00:15:06,272 - Every night is girl's night? - Mmhm. Every night. Forever. 180 00:15:07,766 --> 00:15:09,857 - Every night - Forever and ever 181 00:15:10,485 --> 00:15:11,879 - Good night - Good night 182 00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:19,557 I love you too 183 00:15:19,594 --> 00:15:22,094 Girl's night! Girls night! Girls night! 184 00:15:22,619 --> 00:15:24,419 I can't. I gotta go 185 00:15:24,449 --> 00:15:27,449 Girl's night! Girls night! Girls night! 186 00:15:32,774 --> 00:15:35,974 Good night, Barbies! I'm definitely not thinking about death anymore 187 00:16:03,289 --> 00:16:04,530 Hi, Barbie! 188 00:16:10,190 --> 00:16:11,591 Hi, Barbie! 189 00:16:13,821 --> 00:16:15,010 Hi, Barbie! 190 00:16:58,740 --> 00:17:00,240 Ooh, girl you okay? 191 00:17:00,557 --> 00:17:01,727 Hi, Barbie! 192 00:17:02,738 --> 00:17:04,834 I'm fine. A-okay! 193 00:17:05,854 --> 00:17:08,957 - You got it, Barbie! - Let's go, Barbie! 194 00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:10,346 Great cheer, Kens 195 00:17:13,068 --> 00:17:15,020 Come on, Barbie, let's run towards the water 196 00:17:15,264 --> 00:17:16,164 Okay 197 00:17:27,946 --> 00:17:29,096 My feet! 198 00:17:32,056 --> 00:17:32,856 Oh no 199 00:17:40,931 --> 00:17:42,881 - Hey, Barbie! - Are you okay? 200 00:17:43,165 --> 00:17:45,608 - Yeah, Barbie, I just fell - Fell? 201 00:17:45,609 --> 00:17:46,403 I'm so embarrassed 202 00:17:46,428 --> 00:17:47,780 Barbie doesn't get embarrassed 203 00:17:47,804 --> 00:17:50,292 I know. Barbie, I... I don't even have context for this 204 00:17:50,312 --> 00:17:52,879 but my feet, my heels 205 00:17:52,999 --> 00:17:54,133 are on the ground 206 00:17:54,253 --> 00:17:57,280 - I'm no longer on tiptoes - That's okay. Let me see 207 00:18:00,945 --> 00:18:03,445 Flatfeet! 208 00:18:12,599 --> 00:18:13,749 Stop it, Ken 209 00:18:13,928 --> 00:18:15,315 I'm sorry, I'm sorry 210 00:18:15,694 --> 00:18:18,305 I know I'm stereotypical Barbie and therefore don't form 211 00:18:18,425 --> 00:18:20,930 conjectures concerning the causality of adjacent unfolding events 212 00:18:20,950 --> 00:18:23,753 but some things are happening that might be related 213 00:18:25,516 --> 00:18:29,059 Bad breath this morning, a cold shower, burnt waffle, and falling off my roof 214 00:18:29,179 --> 00:18:32,026 - You're malfunctioning - What? No! I'm just, I'm... 215 00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:34,999 - Am I? - I've never seen this kind of malfunction before 216 00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:36,796 It's usually just hair related 217 00:18:37,356 --> 00:18:39,849 You know, you're going to have to visit Weird Barbie 218 00:18:40,163 --> 00:18:44,630 - I have never had to visit Weird Barbie - That's because you've never malfunctioned 219 00:18:44,718 --> 00:18:47,832 I heard she that she used to be the most beautiful Barbie of all 220 00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:51,165 but then somebody played with her too hard in The Real World 221 00:19:02,290 --> 00:19:05,316 And now she's fated to an eternity of making other Barbies perfect 222 00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:08,036 while falling more and more into disrepair herself 223 00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:12,045 That and we all call her Weird Barbie both behind her back and also to her face 224 00:19:12,165 --> 00:19:13,665 She's so weird 225 00:19:15,264 --> 00:19:17,114 Why is she always in the splits? 226 00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:28,400 I would never wear heels if my feet were shaped this way 227 00:19:32,371 --> 00:19:33,321 Hello 228 00:19:33,969 --> 00:19:35,969 Woof 229 00:19:35,994 --> 00:19:36,794 Bark 230 00:19:38,638 --> 00:19:40,638 Woof 231 00:19:40,663 --> 00:19:41,613 Bark 232 00:19:42,534 --> 00:19:43,234 Hey 233 00:19:44,659 --> 00:19:46,223 What's cookin' good lookin'? 234 00:19:46,315 --> 00:19:47,865 - Hi - Welcome 235 00:19:47,985 --> 00:19:49,694 Welcome to my Weird House 236 00:19:53,865 --> 00:19:55,940 - Hi, how are ya? - Nice to met you 237 00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:58,275 Sorry for the dog crap. What can I do ya for? 238 00:19:58,295 --> 00:20:01,129 I just had to come see you about my feet 239 00:20:01,581 --> 00:20:02,481 They're um... 240 00:20:09,300 --> 00:20:10,200 Flat! 241 00:20:10,770 --> 00:20:11,570 Yeah 242 00:20:11,841 --> 00:20:13,656 - Never seen that before - Really? 243 00:20:14,833 --> 00:20:16,328 Okay, well can you... 244 00:20:16,448 --> 00:20:17,668 you know, fix them? 245 00:20:17,788 --> 00:20:19,838 - You're stereotypical Barbie, right? - Mmhmm 246 00:20:20,814 --> 00:20:22,276 That Ken of yours 247 00:20:22,396 --> 00:20:26,278 - He is one nice lookin' little protein pot - I guess 248 00:20:26,398 --> 00:20:29,495 I'd like to see what kind of nude blob he's packing under those jeans 249 00:20:30,757 --> 00:20:33,222 - Anyway, what preceeded this? - Oh, nothing 250 00:20:33,609 --> 00:20:36,102 A really fun game of volleyball 251 00:20:37,101 --> 00:20:39,501 - That's it? - Thoughts of death... 252 00:20:40,062 --> 00:20:41,012 What is... 253 00:20:43,248 --> 00:20:44,348 Maybe some 254 00:20:44,545 --> 00:20:46,895 - Thoughts of death? - Thoughts of death?! 255 00:20:47,460 --> 00:20:49,310 - Is that a problem? - Ohhh 256 00:20:49,554 --> 00:20:51,063 - What? - I've heard this 257 00:20:51,183 --> 00:20:53,230 Of course I didn't think it was possible 258 00:20:53,288 --> 00:20:54,688 But it's real 259 00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:58,497 Oh, you've done it. You've opened a portal 260 00:20:58,717 --> 00:21:01,672 - I didn't open a portal - Someone did 261 00:21:01,692 --> 00:21:03,277 And now there is a rift 262 00:21:03,197 --> 00:21:07,137 in the continuum that is the membrane between Barbie Land and the Real World 263 00:21:07,257 --> 00:21:09,618 and if you want to be stereotypical Barbie perfect again 264 00:21:09,642 --> 00:21:11,473 then baby girl, you've gotta go fix it 265 00:21:11,393 --> 00:21:14,043 Or you're going to keep going funny. Look at your upper thigh 266 00:21:15,996 --> 00:21:17,764 - What is that? - That's cellulite 267 00:21:17,884 --> 00:21:19,371 - That's going to spread everywhere - What? 268 00:21:19,391 --> 00:21:22,274 And then you're going to start getting sad and mushy and complicated 269 00:21:22,294 --> 00:21:23,294 No! 270 00:21:23,820 --> 00:21:25,040 What do I have to do? 271 00:21:25,494 --> 00:21:28,235 You have to go to the Real World 272 00:21:28,532 --> 00:21:31,074 And you will find the girl who's playing with you 273 00:21:31,094 --> 00:21:33,081 - Playing with me? - We're all getting played with, babe 274 00:21:33,001 --> 00:21:35,504 But usually there's some kind of separation. Thanks 275 00:21:35,624 --> 00:21:37,636 There's the girl and the doll 276 00:21:37,756 --> 00:21:39,599 and never the twains shall cross 277 00:21:39,719 --> 00:21:41,009 - The twain is crossing? - Yes 278 00:21:41,033 --> 00:21:42,276 And the girl who's playing with you 279 00:21:42,296 --> 00:21:45,688 she must be sad and her thoughts and feelings and humanness 280 00:21:45,808 --> 00:21:47,803 are interferring with your dollness 281 00:21:48,023 --> 00:21:49,523 Why would she be sad? 282 00:21:49,543 --> 00:21:53,812 We fixed everything so that all women in the real world can be happy and powerful 283 00:21:53,832 --> 00:21:56,651 I don't know, but if you ask me you had something to do with this too 284 00:21:56,671 --> 00:21:58,165 - Me? - It takes two rift a portal 285 00:21:58,285 --> 00:22:02,437 I can't have. I've only every wanted for everything to stay exactly as it is 286 00:22:02,557 --> 00:22:06,937 Well be that as it may, the two of you are becoming inextricably intertwined 287 00:22:07,351 --> 00:22:09,901 And you gotta help her to help yourself 288 00:22:15,432 --> 00:22:16,125 So should... 289 00:22:16,845 --> 00:22:18,354 So what'll it be then? 290 00:22:18,374 --> 00:22:21,322 You can go back to your regular life and forget any of this ever happened 291 00:22:21,442 --> 00:22:24,085 Or you can know the truth about the universe 292 00:22:25,529 --> 00:22:27,766 The choice is now yours 293 00:22:28,761 --> 00:22:30,311 The first one. The high heel 294 00:22:30,580 --> 00:22:31,380 No. 295 00:22:31,700 --> 00:22:32,700 We'll do a redo 296 00:22:33,457 --> 00:22:35,094 You're supposed to want to know 297 00:22:35,118 --> 00:22:35,956 I don't 298 00:22:36,079 --> 00:22:39,368 Babe? Listen? You have to want to know, okay? Do it again 299 00:22:39,388 --> 00:22:41,715 I'm not Adventure Barbie, I'm Stereotypical Barbie 300 00:22:41,735 --> 00:22:44,953 I'm like the Barbie you think of when someone says, "Think of a Barbie" 301 00:22:45,498 --> 00:22:46,375 That's me 302 00:22:47,423 --> 00:22:49,146 I'm bummed. You're a bummer 303 00:22:49,457 --> 00:22:51,036 - That's a bummer - Okay 304 00:22:51,156 --> 00:22:54,633 - I'm ready to forget now - No, you're do-ing-this-one 305 00:22:54,753 --> 00:22:57,808 I just gave you choice so you could feel some sense of control 306 00:22:57,828 --> 00:22:59,457 So there is no option 1? 307 00:22:59,481 --> 00:23:02,710 No, you have to fix the rift yourself 308 00:23:02,930 --> 00:23:05,297 Don't blame me, blame Mattel. They make the rules 309 00:23:05,517 --> 00:23:08,576 - I don't want too! - Fine, get cellulite. I don't care 310 00:23:08,596 --> 00:23:10,618 No, no no no, no. Okay 311 00:23:13,756 --> 00:23:15,306 Send me through the portal 312 00:23:16,554 --> 00:23:19,190 Okay, there's actually no portal. It's a figure of speech 313 00:23:19,310 --> 00:23:22,227 It's actually a sports car to a speedboat... 314 00:23:22,347 --> 00:23:24,687 to a rocketship to a tandem bike... 315 00:23:24,807 --> 00:23:26,997 to a camper van finally to a snowmobile 316 00:23:27,435 --> 00:23:30,263 Which will take you most of the way to the state of Los Angeles 317 00:23:30,383 --> 00:23:32,520 where you will don neon and rollerblades 318 00:23:32,544 --> 00:23:34,680 and then through the country of California 319 00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:37,429 Weird, I know. Best if you don't think about it too much 320 00:23:37,449 --> 00:23:40,272 And then when I get there, how do I find this girl? 321 00:23:40,914 --> 00:23:42,182 You will know 322 00:23:42,838 --> 00:23:43,838 Okay 323 00:23:44,301 --> 00:23:47,161 - And how do I get back? - The same way you came, but in reverse 324 00:23:47,181 --> 00:23:49,902 Like I should move forward, but through the order backward... 325 00:23:50,022 --> 00:23:51,895 - Don't overthink it - Oh, okay 326 00:23:51,915 --> 00:23:53,265 For you see... 327 00:23:53,614 --> 00:23:56,179 If you don't find her and fix things, 328 00:23:56,299 --> 00:24:00,009 what's ugly will become uglier, and what's weird will become weirder 329 00:24:00,273 --> 00:24:01,973 And then you'll look like me 330 00:24:04,386 --> 00:24:05,386 Sorry. 331 00:24:05,985 --> 00:24:07,085 I understand. 332 00:24:07,205 --> 00:24:09,813 I set myself up for that. Anyway, I believe in you 333 00:24:09,933 --> 00:24:12,233 - Thank you - Go. Be careful 334 00:24:12,442 --> 00:24:13,442 I love you 335 00:24:13,676 --> 00:24:15,480 - Bye - Bye 336 00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:17,612 Bon voyage to reality 337 00:24:17,632 --> 00:24:20,499 and good luck restoring the membrane 338 00:24:20,619 --> 00:24:23,318 that separates our world from theirs 339 00:24:23,438 --> 00:24:25,609 so you don't get cellulite! 340 00:24:27,682 --> 00:24:30,811 - I guess she's going without you - You're so lost, Ken 341 00:24:30,851 --> 00:24:32,601 She literally asked me 342 00:24:32,624 --> 00:24:35,386 - And I was like, "I prefer to stay here" - Why? 343 00:24:35,506 --> 00:24:37,256 - Are you scared? - No. 344 00:24:37,332 --> 00:24:40,382 I bet you're scared and I bet she doesn't even want you to go 345 00:24:41,095 --> 00:24:44,495 Well you bet both those things incorrectly, and I bet in the opposite direction 346 00:24:44,794 --> 00:24:45,851 - Yeah? - Yeah 347 00:24:45,971 --> 00:24:47,221 Which way is that? 348 00:24:47,919 --> 00:24:49,155 You don't even know 349 00:24:49,275 --> 00:24:52,541 I just don't want to leave. I'm trying to find reasons not to leave 350 00:24:52,576 --> 00:24:54,791 - Please stay - I'm going to miss you guys so much 351 00:24:55,011 --> 00:24:56,631 I just wish someone could come with me 352 00:24:56,655 --> 00:24:58,274 But you can't. I should do this alone. 353 00:24:58,294 --> 00:24:59,516 What bird am I thinking of? 354 00:24:59,636 --> 00:25:01,836 -Parrot -Dolphin. I mean, no, a bird 355 00:25:02,648 --> 00:25:03,598 Pelican 356 00:25:04,385 --> 00:25:05,185 Man 357 00:25:05,405 --> 00:25:06,357 We'll miss you, Barbie 358 00:25:06,381 --> 00:25:08,134 I'll be back in no time with perfect feet 359 00:25:08,154 --> 00:25:09,896 and we'll forget that this ever happened 360 00:25:09,916 --> 00:25:12,390 And you'll get to see all the good work we've done to fix the world 361 00:25:12,410 --> 00:25:14,264 You'll be such a hero to them 362 00:25:14,284 --> 00:25:18,651 All those grateful powerful women who owe their wonderful lives to Barbie 363 00:25:18,710 --> 00:25:22,120 I'll bet every woman will say thank you and give you a really big hug 364 00:25:22,430 --> 00:25:23,990 Yes, you're right! 365 00:25:24,388 --> 00:25:25,488 Here I go! 366 00:25:25,962 --> 00:25:26,762 Bye! 367 00:25:27,410 --> 00:25:29,525 - Bye, Barbie. - Bye! 368 00:25:31,249 --> 00:25:33,833 Bye, Barbie. Good luck in reality 369 00:25:33,953 --> 00:25:35,653 Watch out for cellulite! 370 00:25:36,049 --> 00:25:40,149 I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains 371 00:25:40,484 --> 00:25:45,169 I looked to the children, I drank from the fountains 372 00:25:45,410 --> 00:25:49,212 There's more than one answer to these questions 373 00:25:49,599 --> 00:25:51,978 Pointing me in a crooked line 374 00:25:52,752 --> 00:25:56,637 And the less I seek my source for some definitive 375 00:25:56,925 --> 00:26:00,859 Closer I am to fine 376 00:26:01,692 --> 00:26:03,541 - Closer I am to fi... - Closer I am to fi... 377 00:26:11,804 --> 00:26:13,969 - What are you doing here? - I'm coming with ya 378 00:26:13,989 --> 00:26:16,213 - No, please get out - I can't 379 00:26:16,333 --> 00:26:18,571 I made a double bet with Ken, and... 380 00:26:18,691 --> 00:26:20,720 you can't make me look uncool in front of Ken 381 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:23,408 - Ken's not cool! - He is to me 382 00:26:23,428 --> 00:26:25,425 You're just going to slow me down 383 00:26:25,649 --> 00:26:27,346 What if there's beach? 384 00:26:27,374 --> 00:26:29,324 You'll need someone who's a professional in that 385 00:26:31,592 --> 00:26:33,192 Did you bring your rollerblades? 386 00:26:33,897 --> 00:26:35,747 I literally go nowhere without them 387 00:26:37,247 --> 00:26:38,347 Please? 388 00:26:38,798 --> 00:26:39,698 Okay 389 00:26:40,774 --> 00:26:42,098 Let's do this 390 00:26:42,682 --> 00:26:43,910 - Can I sit in the front? - No 391 00:26:44,030 --> 00:26:45,745 REAL WORLD this way 392 00:26:45,765 --> 00:26:49,047 And so Barbie and Ken set off on their adventure 393 00:26:49,167 --> 00:26:50,917 to the Real World 394 00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:15,240 Hi 395 00:27:23,693 --> 00:27:24,593 Barbie! 396 00:27:36,308 --> 00:27:37,809 This is the Real World! 397 00:27:37,929 --> 00:27:40,334 Barbie, I told you there would be beach 398 00:27:40,454 --> 00:27:41,254 Yeah 399 00:27:53,752 --> 00:27:56,252 - What's going on? - Give us a smile, blondie 400 00:27:57,994 --> 00:28:00,796 - Why are these men looking at me? - Yeah, they're also staring at me 401 00:28:01,414 --> 00:28:03,914 - Ooh, love that - Wow 402 00:28:03,992 --> 00:28:06,844 I feel kind of ill at ease, like 403 00:28:07,022 --> 00:28:09,292 I don't know the word for it, but I'm... 404 00:28:09,592 --> 00:28:11,242 conscious, but it's... 405 00:28:11,362 --> 00:28:13,385 myself that I'm conscious of 406 00:28:13,505 --> 00:28:17,354 I'm not getting any of that. I feel what can only be described as "admire" 407 00:28:18,215 --> 00:28:19,458 But not ogle 408 00:28:20,331 --> 00:28:22,100 And there's no undertone of violence 409 00:28:22,124 --> 00:28:24,554 Mine very much has an undertone of violence 410 00:28:25,022 --> 00:28:26,574 Oh look, a construction site 411 00:28:26,944 --> 00:28:29,015 We need that good feminine energy 412 00:28:29,657 --> 00:28:31,107 Ladies, yoohoo! 413 00:28:31,777 --> 00:28:32,917 Oh, you got fries with that shake? 414 00:28:32,941 --> 00:28:35,127 If I said you had a hot body would you hold it against me? 415 00:28:35,147 --> 00:28:37,699 - You don't have a mirror in your pocket? - Baby, you are an angel! 416 00:28:37,700 --> 00:28:38,794 - I can see myself in your shorts 417 00:28:39,019 --> 00:28:41,958 I don't know exactly what you meant with all of those little quips 418 00:28:41,978 --> 00:28:45,573 But I'm picking up on some sort of entendre which appears to be double 419 00:28:45,651 --> 00:28:49,674 and I would just like to inform you: I do not have a vagina 420 00:28:50,814 --> 00:28:52,514 And he does not have a penis 421 00:28:52,814 --> 00:28:55,112 - We don't have genitals - That's okay 422 00:28:57,861 --> 00:28:59,525 I have all... all the genitals 423 00:29:00,351 --> 00:29:02,492 Geez, you would think a construction site at lunchtime 424 00:29:02,516 --> 00:29:04,857 would be the perfect place for a little woman power 425 00:29:04,977 --> 00:29:06,615 This one was so... 426 00:29:07,127 --> 00:29:08,127 male 427 00:29:08,932 --> 00:29:10,441 Everything's almost like... 428 00:29:11,359 --> 00:29:12,859 reversed here 429 00:29:15,629 --> 00:29:16,430 Oh look! 430 00:29:16,631 --> 00:29:19,381 - The Supreme Court - They're so smart 431 00:29:26,701 --> 00:29:30,356 - I love me a leotard - I love the elbow pads 432 00:29:30,412 --> 00:29:32,262 I... I think we should get some different clothes 433 00:29:34,590 --> 00:29:35,840 We look great 434 00:29:36,109 --> 00:29:37,935 - I love fringe - I love denim 435 00:29:39,514 --> 00:29:40,514 Hey, man! 436 00:29:41,215 --> 00:29:42,865 You guys gotta pay for that stuff 437 00:29:46,002 --> 00:29:48,990 - She looks even better in more clothes - Because you can imagine more 438 00:29:49,010 --> 00:29:50,744 Do you know what? Keep 'em. 439 00:29:51,790 --> 00:29:56,372 Weird Barbie said I would know how to find this girl, but I have no idea 440 00:29:57,176 --> 00:29:58,703 What would a Smart Barbie do? 441 00:29:58,727 --> 00:30:01,151 I just need to clear my mind so I can think 442 00:30:01,500 --> 00:30:03,626 Who is playing with me? 443 00:30:03,767 --> 00:30:05,660 I hate it when people think. It gets so boring 444 00:30:05,780 --> 00:30:08,082 The faster I figure it out, the faster we get to go home 445 00:30:08,202 --> 00:30:11,299 - What am I supposed to do? - Ken! Go for a walk or something 446 00:30:11,319 --> 00:30:11,874 By myself? 447 00:30:11,875 --> 00:30:13,309 - Yes - Really? Where? 448 00:30:13,334 --> 00:30:14,347 Anywhere! 449 00:30:14,367 --> 00:30:16,552 - Can I go that way? - Yes. Okay 450 00:30:22,107 --> 00:30:23,957 - Don't go far. - Okay! 451 00:30:28,485 --> 00:30:29,782 Excuse me, sir 452 00:30:30,500 --> 00:30:31,820 Thanks, man 453 00:30:42,348 --> 00:30:43,548 What's up, man? 454 00:30:43,753 --> 00:30:45,698 - We gotta man up on this one - Great workout, man 455 00:30:45,818 --> 00:30:47,350 Men, men, men! 456 00:30:47,470 --> 00:30:49,602 - You're the man! - No, you're the man 457 00:30:49,722 --> 00:30:51,801 Men, men, men! 458 00:31:01,715 --> 00:31:04,061 Based on earnings, we exceeded expectations 459 00:31:04,981 --> 00:31:05,973 So I'm not worried about it 460 00:31:05,993 --> 00:31:07,749 Not now, Margaret. Let's shake on this 461 00:31:07,869 --> 00:31:10,008 We're officially important 462 00:31:33,042 --> 00:31:34,042 Yes! 463 00:32:41,928 --> 00:32:43,028 That felt... 464 00:32:44,236 --> 00:32:45,236 achy... 465 00:32:45,761 --> 00:32:46,811 but good 466 00:33:41,260 --> 00:33:42,660 You're so beautiful 467 00:33:44,363 --> 00:33:45,363 I know it 468 00:33:52,665 --> 00:33:53,565 Barbie! 469 00:33:53,685 --> 00:33:54,585 Barbie! 470 00:33:54,909 --> 00:33:55,709 Yes! 471 00:33:56,145 --> 00:33:57,474 - I've got it! - I've got it! 472 00:33:57,594 --> 00:33:59,282 - What do you got? - You go first 473 00:33:59,402 --> 00:34:01,053 - We'll go at the same time - Okay 474 00:34:01,213 --> 00:34:03,103 - She's at school! - Men rule the world! 475 00:34:03,441 --> 00:34:05,169 - What was that? - The kid's at the school? 476 00:34:05,189 --> 00:34:05,956 But what did you say? 477 00:34:05,976 --> 00:34:07,276 - Nothing - Okay 478 00:34:07,452 --> 00:34:09,317 - Well, let's go to the school! - Okay! 479 00:34:09,437 --> 00:34:10,237 Now come on 480 00:34:21,077 --> 00:34:24,203 MATTEL HEADQUARTERS LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA 481 00:34:28,505 --> 00:34:30,457 - Hello - This is Dan with the FBI 482 00:34:30,577 --> 00:34:32,080 This is Aaron at Mattel... 483 00:34:32,104 --> 00:34:33,721 I don't give a flying squirrel who you are, Aaron 484 00:34:33,741 --> 00:34:35,616 - What are you? Like an intern? - No... 485 00:34:35,736 --> 00:34:38,874 - Two of your dolls have gotten loose - Impossible. How do you know... 486 00:34:38,994 --> 00:34:42,195 Don't sass me, Aaron. Couple of blondes, answering to Barbie nd Ken 487 00:34:42,315 --> 00:34:43,796 Rollerblading in Santa Monica 488 00:34:43,916 --> 00:34:45,916 We're going to need Mattel's help landing the eagle 489 00:34:46,036 --> 00:34:48,286 -Don't crap the bed, Aaron - I won't 490 00:34:50,998 --> 00:34:52,848 This is bad. This is really bad 491 00:34:53,068 --> 00:34:54,918 - What? - Th...th... this happened before 492 00:34:55,249 --> 00:34:56,181 What? When? 493 00:34:56,301 --> 00:34:58,741 I heard about 10 years ago, a woman named, Skipper 494 00:34:58,761 --> 00:35:02,568 turned up at some family's home in Key West, asked to babysit the kids 495 00:35:02,588 --> 00:35:04,296 She then tried to take their toddler surfing 496 00:35:04,297 --> 00:35:04,991 - Jeez - I know 497 00:35:05,016 --> 00:35:08,537 They where able to straighten it out, keep it under wraps, but this is... 498 00:35:08,538 --> 00:35:09,945 serious 499 00:35:09,970 --> 00:35:11,957 - I'm going all the way up - No one goes all the way up 500 00:35:12,077 --> 00:35:13,896 - I have to - You may never come back 501 00:35:15,604 --> 00:35:16,504 I know 502 00:35:32,660 --> 00:35:34,088 - Hey - Oh hi, Aaron 503 00:35:34,208 --> 00:35:36,034 - New drawings? - Yeah 504 00:35:36,054 --> 00:35:38,683 I just started drawing these weird designs 505 00:35:38,703 --> 00:35:42,267 - These are different - It's Irrepressible Thoughts of Death Barbie. 506 00:35:42,998 --> 00:35:44,748 Full Body Cellulite Barbie 507 00:35:45,131 --> 00:35:46,731 Crippling Shame Barbie 508 00:35:47,149 --> 00:35:50,108 Okay, listen, I have to speak to the top brass 509 00:35:50,228 --> 00:35:51,635 - No - I must 510 00:35:51,755 --> 00:35:52,608 - No. - I'm going to 511 00:35:52,728 --> 00:35:55,855 Aron, they're in a big corporate idea sesh, no one is to be admitted 512 00:35:55,975 --> 00:35:58,795 ... we empowering girls. Always! 513 00:35:59,102 --> 00:36:00,721 But what do we really sell? 514 00:36:00,841 --> 00:36:04,082 I'll tell you what. We sell dreams. And imagination 515 00:36:05,580 --> 00:36:06,675 And sparkle 516 00:36:07,551 --> 00:36:08,928 I get excited, I'm passionate. 517 00:36:09,048 --> 00:36:12,052 And when you think of sparkle, what do you think of after that? 518 00:36:12,172 --> 00:36:13,772 Female agency 519 00:36:14,525 --> 00:36:15,725 Excuse me 520 00:36:16,469 --> 00:36:18,387 - Who are you? - Aaron Dinkins, sir 521 00:36:18,507 --> 00:36:20,900 We're in the middle of a major sit down here, Aaron Dinkins 522 00:36:21,020 --> 00:36:22,711 I think you're going to want to hear this, sir 523 00:36:22,735 --> 00:36:25,525 Can you just email it? And you can send it to me E.O.D. 524 00:36:25,529 --> 00:36:26,829 End Of Day 525 00:36:28,603 --> 00:36:31,464 May I put it in a whisper, sir? 526 00:36:31,922 --> 00:36:33,472 Fine, whisper me 527 00:36:56,125 --> 00:36:56,925 No. 528 00:36:59,715 --> 00:37:01,065 Pointed the chair. 529 00:37:01,192 --> 00:37:01,992 You're okay 530 00:37:03,569 --> 00:37:05,646 - You alright? - He's okay 531 00:37:09,938 --> 00:37:11,688 It's a repeat of Skipper in Key West 532 00:37:11,808 --> 00:37:13,408 And with all due respect... 533 00:37:13,890 --> 00:37:16,678 That was Skipper, sir. This is... 534 00:37:17,539 --> 00:37:18,539 Barbie. 535 00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:24,590 If this got out that our dolls were coming to Los Angeles from Barbie Land 536 00:37:24,710 --> 00:37:27,360 As life sized versions of themselves 537 00:37:28,223 --> 00:37:29,723 Roaming the earth 538 00:37:31,184 --> 00:37:32,884 This would be very bad 539 00:37:33,606 --> 00:37:35,697 Barbie in the real world? 540 00:37:36,882 --> 00:37:37,862 That's impossible 541 00:37:37,982 --> 00:37:40,627 We've got a definite situation on our hands 542 00:37:40,699 --> 00:37:42,268 Catastrophic! 543 00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:44,882 - I can't stress that enough! - What? 544 00:37:45,875 --> 00:37:47,580 - What's your name again? - Aaron Dinkins, sir 545 00:37:47,700 --> 00:37:49,179 - Aaron Dickinson? - Dinkins 546 00:37:49,199 --> 00:37:49,999 Yes, Aaron 547 00:37:50,019 --> 00:37:53,437 Is Barbie Land like an alternate reality or is it like a place where 548 00:37:53,557 --> 00:37:55,919 - Uh, your imagination -Yes. 549 00:37:56,311 --> 00:37:58,495 - Okay. - Think of it as town in Sweden. 550 00:37:58,815 --> 00:38:00,115 Aaron Dinkins 551 00:38:00,466 --> 00:38:01,466 Sweden 552 00:38:01,708 --> 00:38:02,708 Right 553 00:38:04,955 --> 00:38:06,239 How much do you weigh? 554 00:38:06,359 --> 00:38:07,709 Doesn't matter 555 00:38:08,398 --> 00:38:09,849 Sounds like a job for the box 556 00:38:10,112 --> 00:38:14,454 No one rests until this doll is back in a box 557 00:38:15,853 --> 00:38:18,792 Look, Davy Crockett Junior High School, just like a saw in my vision 558 00:38:18,816 --> 00:38:19,988 A man on a horse 559 00:38:20,016 --> 00:38:21,992 I've started to get all these weirdo feelings 560 00:38:22,112 --> 00:38:24,771 Like I have fear with no specific object 561 00:38:24,969 --> 00:38:26,608 - What is that? - Anxiety 562 00:38:26,886 --> 00:38:29,223 I have it too. They're just awful at this age 563 00:38:29,343 --> 00:38:31,095 I feel amazing. 564 00:38:31,119 --> 00:38:33,199 That's because kids don't take it out on their dads 565 00:38:33,364 --> 00:38:36,656 She's gotta be here somewhere. We need to find her soon 566 00:38:36,776 --> 00:38:40,111 I'm just going to pop into the library and see if I can find any books on trucks 567 00:38:40,131 --> 00:38:42,708 - Okay, just don't get in trouble - I won't! 568 00:38:57,346 --> 00:38:58,246 What are you doing? 569 00:38:58,247 --> 00:38:59,988 Oh! Uhh 570 00:39:00,013 --> 00:39:01,463 What's that girl's name? 571 00:39:01,738 --> 00:39:02,738 That's Sasha 572 00:39:03,063 --> 00:39:03,938 Hey, Sasha! 573 00:39:03,962 --> 00:39:04,971 - Don't talk to her! - Oh 574 00:39:04,991 --> 00:39:08,121 Sasha can talk to you but you never talk to Sasha 575 00:39:08,141 --> 00:39:10,185 - She'll crush you - Don't worry 576 00:39:10,305 --> 00:39:12,899 Everyone really likes me and thinks I'm cool and pretty 577 00:39:13,687 --> 00:39:15,937 - Huh - Thank you 578 00:39:18,579 --> 00:39:21,026 Hey, ladies. Sasha 579 00:39:21,146 --> 00:39:22,207 What's up? 580 00:39:25,184 --> 00:39:26,434 Who are you? 581 00:39:28,696 --> 00:39:31,612 I'm only your favorite woman of all time 582 00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:33,346 Barbie! 583 00:39:35,288 --> 00:39:37,716 You really think you're Barbie? 584 00:39:37,940 --> 00:39:39,075 - Yeah - She's crazy 585 00:39:39,094 --> 00:39:40,495 Do you think she escaped from like an insane asylum? 586 00:39:40,515 --> 00:39:43,120 - So you're like Barbie Barbie - Like a professional bimbo? 587 00:39:43,140 --> 00:39:47,471 No, Barbie's not a bimbo. Barbie is a doctor and a lawyer and a senator and a... 588 00:39:47,519 --> 00:39:50,301 - ... Nobel prize winner. - You're a Nobel prize winner? 589 00:39:50,321 --> 00:39:51,915 Oh, no, not me, but... 590 00:39:52,580 --> 00:39:54,770 Barbie is ... yeah 591 00:39:55,083 --> 00:39:58,319 Aren't you guys going to thank me and give me a big hug? 592 00:40:00,700 --> 00:40:02,487 For being your favorite toy 593 00:40:02,707 --> 00:40:05,891 We haven't played with Barbie's since we were like five years old 594 00:40:05,913 --> 00:40:07,555 Yeah, I hated dolls with hair 595 00:40:07,579 --> 00:40:10,162 I mean, I played with Barbie, but it was like the last resort 596 00:40:10,215 --> 00:40:11,515 I loved Barbie 597 00:40:13,220 --> 00:40:15,382 Anyways, even then it was horrible for us 598 00:40:15,652 --> 00:40:16,852 It was horrible? 599 00:40:18,239 --> 00:40:19,239 Why? 600 00:40:19,488 --> 00:40:20,879 - Come on, Sasha - Give it to her 601 00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:22,262 Destroy Barbie 602 00:40:23,287 --> 00:40:24,687 Okay, Barbie 603 00:40:25,275 --> 00:40:26,275 Let's do this 604 00:40:27,115 --> 00:40:30,451 You've been making women feel bad about themselves since you were invented 605 00:40:30,471 --> 00:40:32,224 I think you have that the wrong way around 606 00:40:32,248 --> 00:40:34,474 You represent everything wrong with our culture 607 00:40:34,847 --> 00:40:37,900 Sexualized capitalism, unrealistic physical ideals 608 00:40:38,020 --> 00:40:41,303 No, no, no... You're describing something stereotypical. 609 00:40:41,423 --> 00:40:42,747 Barbie is... 610 00:40:42,867 --> 00:40:45,663 - So much more than that - Look at yourself 611 00:40:47,852 --> 00:40:49,670 I am technically Stereotypical Barbie 612 00:40:49,694 --> 00:40:52,173 You set the feminism movement back 50 years 613 00:40:52,345 --> 00:40:54,053 You destroy girls' innate sense of worth 614 00:40:54,173 --> 00:40:57,734 and you are killing the planet with your glorification of rampant consumerism 615 00:40:57,830 --> 00:41:02,203 No, I'm supposed to help you and make you happy and powerful 616 00:41:02,223 --> 00:41:06,044 Oh, I am powerful. And until you showed up here and declared yourself Barbie 617 00:41:06,164 --> 00:41:08,603 I hadn't thought about you in years, you fascist 618 00:41:13,028 --> 00:41:15,028 Oh. Um 619 00:41:15,453 --> 00:41:16,453 Okay 620 00:41:16,857 --> 00:41:18,338 It's happening again 621 00:41:18,666 --> 00:41:21,055 I have to... will you excuse me? 622 00:41:21,273 --> 00:41:23,636 It was really nice talking to you 623 00:41:30,989 --> 00:41:32,539 They never listen 624 00:41:46,266 --> 00:41:48,016 Excuse me, sir, do you have time? 625 00:41:48,792 --> 00:41:51,940 - You respect me - Sorry, no, do you know what time it is? 626 00:41:53,116 --> 00:41:54,316 No, I do not 627 00:41:56,298 --> 00:41:58,470 - Okay - Why didn't Barbie tell me about patriarchy? 628 00:41:58,990 --> 00:42:02,640 Which, to my understanding, is where men in horses run everything? 629 00:42:03,081 --> 00:42:04,081 Sure 630 00:42:04,477 --> 00:42:06,912 - I shall seek my fortune then - Alright 631 00:42:09,378 --> 00:42:11,861 I'll take a high level, high paying job with influence, please 632 00:42:11,981 --> 00:42:14,774 Okay, you'll need at least an MBA. And a lot of our people have PhDs 633 00:42:14,894 --> 00:42:17,788 - Isn't being a man enough? - Actually right now it's kind of the opposite. 634 00:42:17,908 --> 00:42:21,860 You guys are clearly not doing patriarchy very well 635 00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:23,839 No, we're uh... 636 00:42:24,154 --> 00:42:27,811 We're doing it well, yeah. We just, uh, hide it better, you know. 637 00:42:27,812 --> 00:42:29,276 Oh 638 00:42:29,601 --> 00:42:33,257 No, I won't let you do just one appendectomy 639 00:42:33,277 --> 00:42:34,647 - But I'm a man - But not a doctor 640 00:42:34,667 --> 00:42:35,688 - Please? - No 641 00:42:35,808 --> 00:42:37,818 - Can I talk to a doctor? - You are talking to a doctor 642 00:42:37,838 --> 00:42:39,078 - Can you get me a coffee - No 643 00:42:39,198 --> 00:42:40,332 - And I need a clicky pen - No 644 00:42:40,452 --> 00:42:42,092 - And a white coat. And a sharp thing - No. No 645 00:42:42,212 --> 00:42:44,546 - There he is. Doctor! - Somebody get security 646 00:42:44,666 --> 00:42:48,289 - I'd like to apply for your job of beach? - So you wanna be a lifeguard? 647 00:42:49,260 --> 00:42:52,976 Oh, I'm not trained to go over there. I'm trained to stand confidently right here. 648 00:42:53,096 --> 00:42:57,030 - There's nobody in danger here. - And even if there were, I'm not trained to save them 649 00:42:57,545 --> 00:43:00,716 - Then I can't hire you - I can't even beach here! 650 00:43:04,517 --> 00:43:06,958 She thinks I'm a fascist? 651 00:43:07,037 --> 00:43:08,981 I don't control the railways 652 00:43:09,101 --> 00:43:11,054 or the flow of commerce 653 00:43:13,763 --> 00:43:14,861 - There you are - Oh no... 654 00:43:14,981 --> 00:43:16,143 That went terrible 655 00:43:16,263 --> 00:43:20,214 I need to find somewhere where I can start patriarchy fresh 656 00:43:23,966 --> 00:43:26,374 - Miss Barbie? - It's just "Barbie". 657 00:43:26,494 --> 00:43:28,105 We're going to need you to come with us 658 00:43:28,252 --> 00:43:29,752 Oh 659 00:43:30,277 --> 00:43:31,848 - Who are you? - We're Mattel 660 00:43:31,968 --> 00:43:33,942 - Mattel? - Mattel 661 00:43:33,997 --> 00:43:37,443 Thank goodness. I've got to talk to somebody in charge 662 00:43:37,563 --> 00:43:40,919 Everything is backwards here. Men look at me like I'm an object 663 00:43:41,039 --> 00:43:43,418 Girls hate me, everyone thinks I'm crazy 664 00:43:43,442 --> 00:43:44,901 and I keep getting arrested! 665 00:43:45,021 --> 00:43:47,495 - Would you step this way, ma'am? - I also just learned to cry 666 00:43:47,702 --> 00:43:49,963 First it I got one tear and then I got a whole bunch 667 00:43:50,083 --> 00:43:53,960 What to do? Do I follow Barbie into that scary unmarked black truck car? 668 00:43:54,477 --> 00:43:56,927 A truck car I'd like to have, actually 669 00:43:57,405 --> 00:43:58,392 You're right 670 00:43:58,512 --> 00:44:00,391 She's fine. It's Mattel 671 00:44:00,511 --> 00:44:01,728 - Yeah - I know 672 00:44:01,848 --> 00:44:04,395 I'll go back to Barbie Land and I'll tell the Kens what I've learned 673 00:44:04,515 --> 00:44:06,065 Oh! It's going to be beautiful 674 00:44:07,062 --> 00:44:09,477 - Okay. Let's go that way - Back to Barbie Land. 675 00:44:10,725 --> 00:44:12,586 - Hi, bunny boo boo - Don't call me that 676 00:44:12,706 --> 00:44:13,600 Sorry 677 00:44:13,720 --> 00:44:15,694 I'm off early because of a crisis at work, 678 00:44:15,718 --> 00:44:18,159 but I thought we could go get some soft serve 679 00:44:18,479 --> 00:44:20,690 Thank god they arrested that nutjob 680 00:44:22,218 --> 00:44:25,729 That reality challenged woman. She thinks she's Barbie 681 00:44:25,849 --> 00:44:28,495 - Wait, what did you say? - She thinks she's Barbie 682 00:44:28,615 --> 00:44:29,965 She's like really convinced 683 00:44:31,439 --> 00:44:33,233 What are you doing? What are you doing? 684 00:44:33,588 --> 00:44:35,065 Mom. Mom! 685 00:44:36,111 --> 00:44:37,411 Mom, get back in the car! 686 00:44:39,926 --> 00:44:41,026 Are you kidding me? 687 00:44:43,112 --> 00:44:43,912 Mom! 688 00:44:46,199 --> 00:44:49,709 Mattel! Of course it was you guys that brought me here 689 00:44:49,829 --> 00:44:51,751 Because it definitely wasn't that Sasha girl 690 00:44:53,209 --> 00:44:55,224 Thanks for the ride. This has been so much fun 691 00:44:56,152 --> 00:44:58,852 Wow! The mother ship! 692 00:45:03,082 --> 00:45:05,325 Barbie! So happy to see you! 693 00:45:05,445 --> 00:45:07,593 - Hi! - Would you like some mineral water? 694 00:45:07,807 --> 00:45:09,057 - Yes! Thank you 695 00:45:13,109 --> 00:45:15,059 I'm used to that having anything in it 696 00:45:19,428 --> 00:45:20,226 Thank you 697 00:45:20,250 --> 00:45:23,369 So we've been very anxious to get some quality face time with you 698 00:45:23,389 --> 00:45:27,122 Of course. So what can I do to repair the rift in the space time continuum 699 00:45:27,142 --> 00:45:29,074 and get my feet back and that one cellulite gone 700 00:45:29,094 --> 00:45:31,754 and just generally not turn into Weird Barbie? 701 00:45:31,774 --> 00:45:33,681 We have been discussing that very topic 702 00:45:34,973 --> 00:45:38,508 If you're agreeable to it, we would love it if you could just... 703 00:45:39,367 --> 00:45:41,615 get into that giant box 704 00:45:44,194 --> 00:45:48,603 Get into the box and you'll go back to Barbie Land. And everything will be as it was 705 00:45:48,967 --> 00:45:50,789 You know what? We should probably get Ken first 706 00:45:52,338 --> 00:45:54,808 - Ken - You know, Ken. Barbie and Ken 707 00:45:56,374 --> 00:45:57,913 - Yes, Ken! Yeah - The guy, yeah 708 00:46:00,490 --> 00:46:02,290 Back to Barbie Land! 709 00:46:03,771 --> 00:46:05,413 I'm going to be so... I'm going to be sick 710 00:46:06,298 --> 00:46:08,948 Ken isn't something we're worried about 711 00:46:10,144 --> 00:46:11,144 Ever 712 00:46:11,490 --> 00:46:14,098 - Okay, I'll just um... I'll get in the box then - Alright! 713 00:46:14,343 --> 00:46:15,143 Yes! 714 00:46:16,422 --> 00:46:20,694 Oh, but since I came all this way, could I just meet the woman in charge? 715 00:46:20,713 --> 00:46:22,313 Your CEO? 716 00:46:22,793 --> 00:46:23,935 Oh, that would be me 717 00:46:24,055 --> 00:46:25,653 - Oh, your CFO - Me 718 00:46:25,654 --> 00:46:26,748 - Your COO? - Here 719 00:46:26,873 --> 00:46:28,387 - President of the Barbie Division - Present 720 00:46:28,507 --> 00:46:31,307 I'm a man with no power, does that make me a woman? 721 00:46:31,687 --> 00:46:33,419 Are any women in charge? 722 00:46:34,086 --> 00:46:35,086 Listen... 723 00:46:35,506 --> 00:46:37,595 I know exactly where you're going with this and 724 00:46:37,715 --> 00:46:40,168 I have to say I really resent it! 725 00:46:40,288 --> 00:46:43,034 We are a company literally made of women 726 00:46:43,054 --> 00:46:45,253 We had a woman CEO in the 90s 727 00:46:45,681 --> 00:46:47,501 And there was another one... 728 00:46:48,621 --> 00:46:51,029 at some other time 729 00:46:52,905 --> 00:46:55,292 So that's... that's two right there 730 00:46:55,732 --> 00:47:00,990 Women are the freaking foundation of this very long phallic building 731 00:47:01,481 --> 00:47:04,208 We have gender neutral bathrooms up the wazoo 732 00:47:04,328 --> 00:47:06,696 Every single one of these men love women 733 00:47:07,203 --> 00:47:08,653 I'm a son of a mother 734 00:47:09,133 --> 00:47:10,783 I'm the mother of a son 735 00:47:11,538 --> 00:47:14,016 I'm... I'm the nephew of a woman aunt 736 00:47:15,319 --> 00:47:16,969 Some of my best friends are Jewish 737 00:47:18,780 --> 00:47:20,880 What I'm trying to say is... 738 00:47:21,167 --> 00:47:23,050 Get in the box, you jezebel 739 00:47:24,305 --> 00:47:25,811 What? I can't say "jezebel" now? 740 00:47:25,835 --> 00:47:28,341 I haven't been in a box in ages 741 00:47:28,532 --> 00:47:30,260 You see? It's easy 742 00:47:31,580 --> 00:47:32,580 Oh, okay 743 00:47:34,001 --> 00:47:36,526 Oh my gosh, I remember this smell 744 00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:39,285 I'm having a real Proustian flashback 745 00:47:39,498 --> 00:47:42,698 Remember Proust Barbie? That did not sell very well 746 00:47:50,765 --> 00:47:53,283 Do you know what? Um, before I get in the box 747 00:47:53,403 --> 00:47:56,141 Could I just run to the restroom and make sure my hair is perfect? 748 00:47:56,261 --> 00:47:58,011 - Fine. Can you be speedy about it? - Mmhm 749 00:47:59,819 --> 00:48:01,721 - Down this way? - It's just down the hallway 750 00:48:01,841 --> 00:48:03,541 - Thank you - On the right 751 00:48:07,843 --> 00:48:09,393 Guess she really had to go the bathroom 752 00:48:10,938 --> 00:48:12,388 Get that Barbie! 753 00:48:14,537 --> 00:48:16,740 Don't you dare push that button. Let me do it 754 00:48:21,551 --> 00:48:23,251 I said, get that Barbie! 755 00:48:25,270 --> 00:48:26,270 Where's Barbie? 756 00:48:27,679 --> 00:48:28,680 I'm gaining on you 757 00:48:30,667 --> 00:48:31,686 I'll capture you 758 00:48:37,342 --> 00:48:39,326 Quicker to go over the cube 759 00:48:40,148 --> 00:48:41,537 - It's quicker - Sure 760 00:48:47,037 --> 00:48:48,487 Get that Barbie! 761 00:48:48,988 --> 00:48:49,763 Barbie! 762 00:48:49,788 --> 00:48:50,467 Barbie! 763 00:48:51,192 --> 00:48:51,692 Barbie! 764 00:48:51,817 --> 00:48:52,717 I will get you! 765 00:48:53,725 --> 00:48:54,225 Barbie! 766 00:49:24,350 --> 00:49:26,425 Don't worry, you're safe here 767 00:49:27,903 --> 00:49:29,236 What is this place? 768 00:49:30,490 --> 00:49:34,003 I always find I think best at kitchen tables 769 00:49:37,396 --> 00:49:38,396 Tea? 770 00:49:39,194 --> 00:49:40,894 Uh... yes, please 771 00:49:45,890 --> 00:49:47,659 So a woman does work here 772 00:49:48,248 --> 00:49:51,235 Oh sweety, we do more than work here 773 00:50:20,524 --> 00:50:21,524 What? 774 00:50:22,399 --> 00:50:25,219 - It's because I don't know how to drink tea? - No 775 00:50:25,825 --> 00:50:27,375 You look different 776 00:50:28,558 --> 00:50:32,474 It's not how I normally look. I usually look perfect 777 00:50:32,883 --> 00:50:34,017 Oh, I don't know 778 00:50:34,773 --> 00:50:36,539 I think you're just right 779 00:50:44,637 --> 00:50:47,235 Real World isn't what I thought it was 780 00:50:48,001 --> 00:50:49,251 It never is 781 00:50:49,438 --> 00:50:51,042 And isn't that marvelous? 782 00:50:52,970 --> 00:50:54,614 Who... are you? 783 00:50:55,913 --> 00:50:56,913 Which way did she go? 784 00:50:57,976 --> 00:51:00,112 If you go through that closet 785 00:51:00,232 --> 00:51:02,497 You'll find a stairwell down to the lobby 786 00:51:03,144 --> 00:51:04,144 Okay 787 00:51:07,209 --> 00:51:08,305 Thank you 788 00:51:10,421 --> 00:51:11,421 Ruth 789 00:51:12,537 --> 00:51:14,287 Ruth. Thank you, Ruth 790 00:51:15,504 --> 00:51:16,904 You're welcome, Barbie 791 00:51:33,910 --> 00:51:35,131 Oh, we've got her! There she is! 792 00:51:37,964 --> 00:51:40,491 Keycard! Wait, I don't have my keycard! 793 00:51:43,061 --> 00:51:44,061 Get in! 794 00:51:49,477 --> 00:51:51,413 Now! Get in now! 795 00:51:52,628 --> 00:51:53,628 Come on! 796 00:51:58,012 --> 00:51:59,112 Oh no! 797 00:51:59,137 --> 00:52:00,984 Now we're never going to get Barbie 798 00:52:01,004 --> 00:52:02,194 Oh, we didn't need it 799 00:52:02,314 --> 00:52:03,314 Barbie! 800 00:52:04,163 --> 00:52:05,763 Let's form a plan here 801 00:52:06,550 --> 00:52:09,435 I would normally have shotgun. I'll get the first one 802 00:52:10,145 --> 00:52:11,195 Hang on! 803 00:52:14,125 --> 00:52:17,252 God, I hope nobody from school saw us put a life-sized Barbie in our car 804 00:52:17,372 --> 00:52:18,805 - How did this even happen? - I don't know 805 00:52:18,925 --> 00:52:20,874 How are you here? You're like an idea 806 00:52:20,994 --> 00:52:22,082 A great idea 807 00:52:22,202 --> 00:52:24,808 So, I've been a little lonely lately 808 00:52:24,928 --> 00:52:27,628 - And I found those Barbies we used to play with - I thought we gave those away 809 00:52:27,647 --> 00:52:31,009 So I started playing with them and making drawings like we used to do, remember? 810 00:52:31,129 --> 00:52:33,084 - Because I thought it would be joyful - Was it? 811 00:52:33,204 --> 00:52:37,638 No, it wasn't. I got sad and weird, and then the drawings got sad and weird 812 00:52:37,758 --> 00:52:41,966 and maybe because I couldn't be like you, I ended up making you like me 813 00:52:43,039 --> 00:52:46,775 Did any of these drawings by chance have thoughts of death and cellulite? 814 00:52:47,527 --> 00:52:48,331 Yes! 815 00:52:48,451 --> 00:52:50,280 Irrepressible Thoughts of Death Barbie! 816 00:52:50,500 --> 00:52:53,035 -Oh my god! -And cellulite 817 00:52:56,382 --> 00:52:58,632 - I came for you - You came for me 818 00:52:59,125 --> 00:53:01,075 Those were your memories 819 00:53:29,957 --> 00:53:31,422 Hello? Hello? 820 00:53:31,733 --> 00:53:33,290 Are you two, like, Shining? 821 00:53:33,610 --> 00:53:35,190 No, no, it's nothing like that 822 00:53:35,214 --> 00:53:36,611 Are you Shining with a real Barbie? 823 00:53:36,631 --> 00:53:37,669 No! 824 00:53:38,218 --> 00:53:40,470 I mean, maybe, like a little... yes 825 00:53:40,590 --> 00:53:43,583 I don't even know where to start with this wishing your Barbie to life crap 826 00:53:43,703 --> 00:53:44,753 Oh Sasha, listen 827 00:53:44,873 --> 00:53:48,513 I'm just a boring mom with a boring job and a daughter who hates me 828 00:53:48,533 --> 00:53:50,678 Can you blame me for wanting to have a little fun? 829 00:53:51,930 --> 00:53:53,429 I gotta lose these chuckleheads 830 00:53:55,930 --> 00:53:56,930 Mom! 831 00:53:59,371 --> 00:54:00,697 I think I owe you ladies an apology 832 00:54:00,817 --> 00:54:03,629 I thought that Barbie had made the Real World better 833 00:54:03,749 --> 00:54:06,685 But the Real World is forever and irrevocably messed up 834 00:54:06,705 --> 00:54:09,585 Well, the Real World is not perfect, but you inspired me 835 00:54:11,768 --> 00:54:13,669 I love women. I want to help women 836 00:54:13,689 --> 00:54:15,572 Oh come off it, everybody hates women 837 00:54:15,592 --> 00:54:18,332 Women hate women and men hate women, it's the one thing we can all agree on 838 00:54:18,352 --> 00:54:20,753 - Is that true? - It's complicated. "Hate" is a strong word 839 00:54:20,773 --> 00:54:21,848 Wake up, mom! 840 00:54:22,950 --> 00:54:24,806 I'm wide awake, Sasha! 841 00:54:28,726 --> 00:54:30,944 Mom, where did you learn to drive like this? 842 00:54:31,364 --> 00:54:33,953 - There was this guy... - Was it Dad? 843 00:54:33,976 --> 00:54:35,770 Yeah, yeah... it was... it was Dad 844 00:54:55,322 --> 00:54:56,322 Okay, duck! 845 00:54:57,323 --> 00:54:59,004 - You look so pretty - Don't look at me 846 00:54:59,124 --> 00:54:59,984 Okay, sorry 847 00:55:04,609 --> 00:55:07,441 I can't hold them off forever. Where can we go? 848 00:55:07,761 --> 00:55:10,576 Wait, I have an idea. Can you get us to Venice Beach? 849 00:55:10,696 --> 00:55:11,696 Sure can! 850 00:55:12,456 --> 00:55:15,102 I love rollerblades. Where are we going? 851 00:55:15,122 --> 00:55:16,776 - Barbie Land - What? Mom! 852 00:55:16,896 --> 00:55:19,097 Are you really going to let Barbie take you 853 00:55:19,121 --> 00:55:21,222 and your tween daughter to an imaginary land? 854 00:55:21,042 --> 00:55:23,218 Yes, and you want to know why? Because I never get to do anything 855 00:55:23,338 --> 00:55:25,193 I didn't even go on that cruise I won at your school raffle 856 00:55:25,313 --> 00:55:27,994 because I didn't have enough vacation days and your dad's allergic to sun 857 00:55:27,995 --> 00:55:28,289 Oh 858 00:55:28,314 --> 00:55:31,151 - What about Dad? We can't just leave him - He'll be fine 859 00:55:31,763 --> 00:55:35,163 Boligrafos. Boligrafos. Boligrafos 860 00:55:37,388 --> 00:55:39,401 - Yeah, yeah, he'll be fine - Ready for fun? 861 00:55:39,521 --> 00:55:40,804 Yes! 862 00:55:40,924 --> 00:55:44,265 Here we go! Come on and feel the magic 863 00:55:46,010 --> 00:55:47,372 Where are we? 864 00:55:47,492 --> 00:55:50,229 - How did we get into these clothes? - How did we get into this vehicle? 865 00:55:50,249 --> 00:55:51,919 When I was a kid I lost these boots and 866 00:55:51,943 --> 00:55:53,759 my mom wouldn't let me buy a whole new Barbie 867 00:55:53,779 --> 00:55:55,903 - ...just to replace the boots - They look so good on you! 868 00:55:56,023 --> 00:55:56,901 Why thank you! 869 00:55:57,102 --> 00:55:59,164 - Hey you - She was always my favorite Barbie 870 00:55:59,189 --> 00:56:00,774 You're my favorite human 871 00:56:00,794 --> 00:56:03,310 Don't tell him, but I never got a Ken 872 00:56:03,330 --> 00:56:07,427 That's because Ken is totally superfluous... I didn't say that 873 00:56:07,512 --> 00:56:09,365 Women hold all major positions of power 874 00:56:09,485 --> 00:56:13,195 control all the money, basically everything that men do in your world, women do in ours 875 00:56:13,453 --> 00:56:14,976 I mean, that sounds kind of cool 876 00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:16,979 Sasha, look! Dolphins! 877 00:56:17,716 --> 00:56:22,026 Closer I am to fine, yeah 878 00:56:22,258 --> 00:56:24,528 Closer I am to fi... 879 00:56:24,529 --> 00:56:25,913 What is this song?! 880 00:56:25,933 --> 00:56:27,922 Oh! And we have a female president and it's 881 00:56:27,946 --> 00:56:30,135 fun, and work, and friendship and females 24/7 882 00:56:30,655 --> 00:56:32,708 No giant hands come in and play with you? 883 00:56:32,732 --> 00:56:33,820 No, that's crazy 884 00:56:33,899 --> 00:56:37,190 Excuse me, have you seen a group of women on wheels? 885 00:56:37,210 --> 00:56:38,985 Actually yeah, there was blonde, brunette and a 886 00:56:39,009 --> 00:56:40,783 ...tween, they rollerbladed in that direction 887 00:56:40,871 --> 00:56:41,871 Oh no 888 00:56:42,690 --> 00:56:44,440 First step is always rollerblading 889 00:56:44,560 --> 00:56:47,060 - Excuse me, sir? - They've gone to Barbie Land 890 00:56:47,901 --> 00:56:49,742 - Oh no - And she's brought humans there with her 891 00:56:49,762 --> 00:56:52,086 This could mean extremely weird things for our world 892 00:56:52,110 --> 00:56:52,977 Like what? 893 00:56:52,997 --> 00:56:56,082 Nothing any of our collective imaginations could ever dream of 894 00:56:56,102 --> 00:56:59,402 A podcast hosted by two wise trees 895 00:56:59,522 --> 00:57:02,950 Or a choir of 2,000 young fathers 896 00:57:03,070 --> 00:57:05,731 Not even close. We've got to get to Barbie Land 897 00:57:05,851 --> 00:57:08,854 Go, find some blades now! Just pick a direction and run 898 00:57:10,339 --> 00:57:13,824 I can practically feel my heels lifting already. Yes! 899 00:57:13,866 --> 00:57:16,679 This is what I was supposed to do. Bring you back here 900 00:57:16,799 --> 00:57:18,599 - It feels right - It does 901 00:57:18,947 --> 00:57:21,035 Okay, this is... oh 902 00:57:21,975 --> 00:57:23,075 That's strange 903 00:57:32,254 --> 00:57:33,514 Incoming brewski beer 904 00:57:35,603 --> 00:57:37,385 See that's our President with the beer 905 00:57:37,605 --> 00:57:40,672 and the cheering squad is the Supreme Court 906 00:57:40,699 --> 00:57:43,264 This is so much better than being President 907 00:57:43,797 --> 00:57:45,597 Something's weird today 908 00:57:46,203 --> 00:57:47,603 Hi, Barbie! 909 00:57:48,473 --> 00:57:50,834 Oh, okay! Hi, Ken! 910 00:57:50,854 --> 00:57:52,479 Have a brewski beer 911 00:57:52,499 --> 00:57:54,608 My big guy is thirsty 912 00:57:56,083 --> 00:57:57,333 Anyway... uh 913 00:57:57,976 --> 00:57:59,260 Wait until you see my Dream House 914 00:57:59,284 --> 00:58:02,111 Everything I've bought and own will totally inspire you 915 00:58:02,131 --> 00:58:04,041 And we can change clothes again! 916 00:58:06,962 --> 00:58:08,051 That's the Capitol! 917 00:58:08,529 --> 00:58:10,329 - It's pink? - Pink! 918 00:58:10,349 --> 00:58:11,349 And that's... 919 00:58:15,885 --> 00:58:18,850 These are the Dream Houses. This is where I live 920 00:58:18,870 --> 00:58:20,538 You can see through the houses 921 00:58:20,658 --> 00:58:22,841 So does each Barbie like have their own house? 922 00:58:22,842 --> 00:58:23,686 Mmhmm 923 00:58:23,711 --> 00:58:26,070 That's cool. Where do the Kens stay? 924 00:58:27,256 --> 00:58:28,626 I don't know 925 00:58:28,942 --> 00:58:31,301 At first I thought the Real World was run by men 926 00:58:31,421 --> 00:58:34,656 And then, there was a minute, where I thought it was run by horses 927 00:58:35,642 --> 00:58:38,778 But then I realized that horses just men extenders 928 00:58:41,204 --> 00:58:44,978 Oh, I had that tree house! I saved up my allowance to buy it. 929 00:58:44,998 --> 00:58:48,781 I've never seen a car like that before. What happened here? 930 00:58:49,804 --> 00:58:55,266 Everything, basically everything, exists to expand and elevate the presence of men! 931 00:58:55,614 --> 00:58:57,083 - That's amazing - Beautiful. 932 00:58:57,203 --> 00:58:59,053 - I know - Barbie's here 933 00:58:59,644 --> 00:59:00,644 Ken? 934 00:59:03,040 --> 00:59:04,203 What have you done? 935 00:59:05,007 --> 00:59:06,146 What are you wearing? 936 00:59:07,635 --> 00:59:10,385 Don't question it, just roll with it, tiny baby 937 00:59:11,124 --> 00:59:12,458 Don't call me baby 938 00:59:12,482 --> 00:59:14,993 What about mini baby? Like this mini fridge? 939 00:59:15,428 --> 00:59:16,428 No, Ken 940 00:59:16,596 --> 00:59:19,733 This is my Dream House. It is MY Dream House! 941 00:59:19,734 --> 00:59:20,428 It's mine! 942 00:59:20,553 --> 00:59:22,580 No, this is no longer Barbie's Dream House 943 00:59:22,683 --> 00:59:24,671 This shall henceforth be known as 944 00:59:24,695 --> 00:59:27,883 Ken's Mojo Dojo Casa House 945 00:59:28,308 --> 00:59:31,184 - You don't have to say dojo and house - And casa 946 00:59:31,204 --> 00:59:33,929 But you do because it feels good. Try it 947 00:59:33,949 --> 00:59:35,772 - Mojo Dojo - No, don't... don't say it 948 00:59:35,792 --> 00:59:37,768 Mojo Dojo Casa House 949 00:59:39,738 --> 00:59:41,190 Give it to me straight. How weird is it? 950 00:59:41,310 --> 00:59:46,968 Whoa, boss. These Mojo Dojo Casa Houses are literally flying off the shelves 951 00:59:47,058 --> 00:59:48,625 The kids are clamoring for 'em 952 00:59:48,649 --> 00:59:50,416 Ken is on t-shirts, mugs... 953 00:59:50,814 --> 00:59:53,052 - It's the number 1 tattoo - Oh no 954 00:59:53,072 --> 00:59:55,890 Warner Bros has started auditions for the Ken movie 955 00:59:56,010 --> 00:59:58,309 Which is already a blockbuster hit 956 00:59:59,838 --> 01:00:01,796 It's happening. The thing we could never imagine. 957 01:00:01,916 --> 01:00:03,843 - And if we don't get my work lady... - "Executive assistant" 958 01:00:03,963 --> 01:00:07,121 My executive work lady and someone who's probably her daughter back here 959 01:00:07,141 --> 01:00:09,544 and close the portal, our worlds could be altered forever 960 01:00:09,664 --> 01:00:12,605 So what does it matter if it's Barbie or Ken? The money is pouring in 961 01:00:12,725 --> 01:00:14,573 Shame on you, Executive Number 2 962 01:00:14,963 --> 01:00:18,380 You think I spent my entire life in boardrooms because of a bottom line? 963 01:00:18,619 --> 01:00:21,919 No! I got into this business because of little girls and their dreams 964 01:00:22,268 --> 01:00:24,090 In the least creep way possible 965 01:00:24,615 --> 01:00:27,308 Now blade faster! Time is running out 966 01:00:27,428 --> 01:00:32,378 Look, I'm just having some brewski beers at my Dojo Mojo Casa House 967 01:00:33,427 --> 01:00:35,488 - Ken! - You can stay if you want 968 01:00:35,608 --> 01:00:37,299 As my bride-wife. 969 01:00:37,323 --> 01:00:39,714 Or my long term, low committment distance girlfriend 970 01:00:40,103 --> 01:00:41,469 - Ugh! - What do you say? 971 01:00:42,369 --> 01:00:43,619 Brewski beer me? 972 01:00:43,974 --> 01:00:46,289 I will not brewski beer you 973 01:00:47,604 --> 01:00:48,604 That's fine 974 01:00:49,278 --> 01:00:50,795 You know now that you Barbies aren't around to run everything 975 01:00:50,819 --> 01:00:52,305 We can do our hair however we like 976 01:00:52,425 --> 01:00:53,344 I have hats 977 01:00:53,464 --> 01:00:56,740 Where are my hungry boys? Who wants snacks? 978 01:00:57,554 --> 01:01:00,626 Barbie, I am so happy to see you. Can you believe what is happening? 979 01:01:00,646 --> 01:01:02,296 I know, isn't it great? 980 01:01:02,499 --> 01:01:04,483 Anyone need a brewski beer? 981 01:01:04,703 --> 01:01:07,264 What are you doing? You're a doctor! 982 01:01:07,284 --> 01:01:09,100 I like being a helpful decoration 983 01:01:09,220 --> 01:01:11,672 And Alan likes to help me give all the Kens foot massages 984 01:01:11,892 --> 01:01:13,236 No I don't... I don't like that 985 01:01:13,260 --> 01:01:14,173 We love it! 986 01:01:14,419 --> 01:01:17,030 - Ugh, so gross - I'm so blotto face day drunk right now 987 01:01:17,632 --> 01:01:18,793 Ditto, same... same that 988 01:01:18,813 --> 01:01:22,431 I like not having to make any decisions. It's like a spa day for my brain 989 01:01:22,451 --> 01:01:23,451 Forever 990 01:01:24,130 --> 01:01:25,226 What is wrong with them? 991 01:01:25,246 --> 01:01:27,239 We just explained to them the immaculate, impeccable, 992 01:01:27,263 --> 01:01:29,719 seamless garment of logic that is patriarchy and they crumbled 993 01:01:29,839 --> 01:01:33,851 Oh my god, this is like in the 1500s with the indigenous people and smallpox 994 01:01:33,871 --> 01:01:35,486 They had no defenses against it 995 01:01:35,606 --> 01:01:37,694 Yeah! Buckle up, babe 996 01:01:38,691 --> 01:01:40,348 Because Barbie Land... 997 01:01:40,572 --> 01:01:42,001 ...is now Ken Land 998 01:01:42,040 --> 01:01:44,537 And it's going to be just like Century City in Los Angeles 999 01:01:44,657 --> 01:01:47,944 Because they had it all figured out in Century City 1000 01:01:48,190 --> 01:01:50,230 The minute you get out of your car, you're like 1001 01:01:50,254 --> 01:01:52,694 "I can't believe how great this place is!" 1002 01:01:52,885 --> 01:01:55,557 No no no, they don't have it figured out in Century City 1003 01:01:55,581 --> 01:01:57,553 Because we failed them 1004 01:01:57,573 --> 01:01:59,452 No, you failed ME! 1005 01:02:05,698 --> 01:02:07,851 Out there I was somebody 1006 01:02:10,133 --> 01:02:12,133 And when I walked down the street... 1007 01:02:14,056 --> 01:02:16,556 ...people respected me just for who I am 1008 01:02:20,518 --> 01:02:21,618 One lady 1009 01:02:22,438 --> 01:02:23,744 She even asked me for the time 1010 01:02:23,864 --> 01:02:25,555 - No way! - Way 1011 01:02:28,848 --> 01:02:31,083 And if it weren't for these technicalities like... 1012 01:02:31,356 --> 01:02:34,520 MBAs, medical degrees, and... I don't know... 1013 01:02:35,217 --> 01:02:37,787 ...swim lessons, I could've ruled that world 1014 01:02:38,077 --> 01:02:40,175 But I don't need any of those things here 1015 01:02:45,812 --> 01:02:47,662 Here I'm just a dude 1016 01:02:48,197 --> 01:02:49,276 And you know what? 1017 01:02:53,554 --> 01:02:54,554 That's enough 1018 01:02:55,153 --> 01:02:56,253 TV remote? 1019 01:03:00,399 --> 01:03:01,149 Which one is it? 1020 01:03:01,569 --> 01:03:02,569 Oh, it's that one right there 1021 01:03:04,474 --> 01:03:06,528 Call me Mr. Ken President Prime Minister Man 1022 01:03:06,548 --> 01:03:09,732 Let's recap all the amazing changes and innovations thanks to the Kens 1023 01:03:09,733 --> 01:03:11,773 The Nobel Prize in horses... 1024 01:03:11,793 --> 01:03:13,679 Goes to... Ken! 1025 01:03:14,234 --> 01:03:16,234 Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! 1026 01:03:17,534 --> 01:03:18,234 Wow 1027 01:03:18,359 --> 01:03:20,359 And now you're making it permanent with a 1028 01:03:20,383 --> 01:03:23,304 special with election to change the Constitution 1029 01:03:23,324 --> 01:03:25,485 That's right, in just 48 hours all the Kens will 1030 01:03:25,509 --> 01:03:27,994 head to the polls and vote to change the Constitution 1031 01:03:28,114 --> 01:03:31,643 To a government for Kens, of the Kens, and by the Kens! 1032 01:03:36,024 --> 01:03:37,917 You can't do this 1033 01:03:38,037 --> 01:03:40,771 This is Barbie Land. The Barbies worked hard 1034 01:03:40,791 --> 01:03:43,741 and they dreamed hard to make it everything that it is you- 1035 01:03:44,662 --> 01:03:47,462 You can't just undo it in a day 1036 01:03:48,092 --> 01:03:50,392 Literally and figuratively watch me 1037 01:03:51,646 --> 01:03:52,696 Now... 1038 01:03:53,108 --> 01:03:54,408 If you'll excuse me 1039 01:03:55,418 --> 01:03:57,956 This is my Mojo Dojo Casa House 1040 01:03:58,076 --> 01:03:59,176 It's not... 1041 01:03:59,696 --> 01:04:02,146 Barbie's Mojo Dojo Casa House 1042 01:04:04,199 --> 01:04:05,199 Right? 1043 01:04:09,666 --> 01:04:11,016 How's that feel? 1044 01:04:14,518 --> 01:04:16,568 It is not fun, is it? 1045 01:04:18,448 --> 01:04:20,990 It's Boys' Night! 1046 01:04:36,317 --> 01:04:38,417 Every night is Boys' Night. 1047 01:04:50,688 --> 01:04:54,714 Barbie! Take your lady fashions with you! 1048 01:04:54,834 --> 01:04:57,855 Take your Celebrate Disco Bell Bottoms 1049 01:04:59,520 --> 01:05:04,050 And your Icecapade Pretty Practice Suit and Dazzling Show Skirt 1050 01:05:04,802 --> 01:05:08,839 - These are archival - Your Pajama Jam in Amsterdam set! 1051 01:05:09,674 --> 01:05:12,323 And your Pretty Paisley Palazzo Pants! 1052 01:05:13,620 --> 01:05:16,654 - Not the Palazzo! - And get out! 1053 01:05:19,295 --> 01:05:21,283 Leave the skirt! 1054 01:05:24,559 --> 01:05:25,478 Honey 1055 01:05:25,598 --> 01:05:28,860 Why did you wish me to your messed up world using your 1056 01:05:29,664 --> 01:05:32,576 ...complicated human thoughts and feelings? 1057 01:05:32,696 --> 01:05:35,253 - What? - Barbie Land was perfect before 1058 01:05:36,488 --> 01:05:38,368 I was perfect before 1059 01:05:39,246 --> 01:05:42,946 I'm so sorry, I... I wasn't trying to do anything 1060 01:05:42,966 --> 01:05:44,366 Don't apologize 1061 01:05:44,787 --> 01:05:46,291 Don't blame my mom 1062 01:05:46,924 --> 01:05:48,182 Oh Sasha, that's sweet 1063 01:05:48,302 --> 01:05:51,309 Maybe you wished us. Maybe it's your fault, Barbie. 1064 01:05:51,429 --> 01:05:55,449 No, I didn't wish anything. I never wanted anything to change 1065 01:05:56,168 --> 01:05:58,484 Oh, honey, that's life 1066 01:05:59,263 --> 01:06:00,963 It's all change 1067 01:06:02,162 --> 01:06:03,562 Well that's... 1068 01:06:03,587 --> 01:06:05,187 That's terrifying 1069 01:06:09,820 --> 01:06:10,920 I don't want that 1070 01:06:12,145 --> 01:06:14,945 Not my life. No thank you 1071 01:06:15,033 --> 01:06:18,215 Just... no. I don't want this 1072 01:06:24,579 --> 01:06:28,375 I'm just going to sit here and wait and hope that one of the more... 1073 01:06:28,626 --> 01:06:30,476 ...leadership oriented Barbies just... 1074 01:06:30,840 --> 01:06:33,920 ...snaps out of it, does something about this whole mess 1075 01:06:34,240 --> 01:06:36,618 I really understand this feeling 1076 01:06:36,838 --> 01:06:39,770 It's basically like being a human person all the time 1077 01:06:39,790 --> 01:06:42,200 Please just leave me here, just leave me, go back 1078 01:06:42,224 --> 01:06:44,834 to your messed up world and just leave me to mine? 1079 01:06:45,791 --> 01:06:47,876 - So you're just going to give up? - Yes. 1080 01:06:53,015 --> 01:06:54,015 Okay 1081 01:06:54,447 --> 01:06:58,449 You know I almost feel bad for you, but you are exactly what I thought you were 1082 01:06:59,906 --> 01:07:00,906 Um 1083 01:07:01,931 --> 01:07:03,587 Let's go, honey, let's just... 1084 01:07:03,707 --> 01:07:06,307 - Okay, how do we even... - Do everything we did in reverse 1085 01:07:08,860 --> 01:07:09,860 Unbelievable 1086 01:07:10,454 --> 01:07:12,354 Come on, mom. She doesn't deserve you 1087 01:07:17,454 --> 01:07:19,558 This is the lowest I've ever been 1088 01:07:20,391 --> 01:07:23,237 Emotionally and physically 1089 01:07:24,956 --> 01:07:28,712 Okay kids, it's time to run out and get the new Depression Barbie 1090 01:07:28,732 --> 01:07:30,741 She wears sweatpants all day and night 1091 01:07:30,761 --> 01:07:32,972 She spent 7 hours today on Instagram 1092 01:07:32,996 --> 01:07:35,206 Looking at her estranged best friend's engagement photos 1093 01:07:35,526 --> 01:07:37,580 While eating a family sized bag of Starbursts 1094 01:07:37,600 --> 01:07:40,133 And now her jaw is killing her and she's going 1095 01:07:40,157 --> 01:07:42,286 to watch the BBC's Pride and Prejudice 1096 01:07:42,306 --> 01:07:45,352 for the seventh time until she falls asleep 1097 01:07:45,372 --> 01:07:47,697 Our families is such that any alliance between us 1098 01:07:47,721 --> 01:07:50,046 must be regarded as a highly reprehensible connection 1099 01:07:50,233 --> 01:07:53,089 Anxiety, panic attacks, and OCD sold separately 1100 01:07:53,908 --> 01:07:56,074 Barbie, Barbie. Wake up 1101 01:07:59,066 --> 01:08:00,616 I'm like you now 1102 01:08:00,812 --> 01:08:02,523 Ugly and unwanted 1103 01:08:03,793 --> 01:08:04,793 Thanks 1104 01:08:05,763 --> 01:08:07,293 Let's get her in the back, come on 1105 01:08:08,932 --> 01:08:10,680 - Isn't this great? - Yes 1106 01:08:10,800 --> 01:08:13,366 - Wait until you see the boat - The boat 1107 01:08:15,180 --> 01:08:16,756 Beautiful countryside 1108 01:08:18,199 --> 01:08:20,162 He said he could see through me 1109 01:08:20,182 --> 01:08:23,773 I spent four years prostrate to the higher mind 1110 01:08:23,948 --> 01:08:26,744 Got my paper and I was free 1111 01:08:27,867 --> 01:08:32,560 I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains 1112 01:08:32,560 --> 01:08:37,535 I looked to the children, I drank from the fountains 1113 01:08:37,499 --> 01:08:40,166 We interrupt to this broadcast to bring you our new radio station 1114 01:08:40,286 --> 01:08:42,297 Only playing Ken's favorite song 1115 01:08:48,161 --> 01:08:50,211 Turn this song off, for Christ's sake! 1116 01:08:56,916 --> 01:08:58,205 - Who are you? - I'm Alan 1117 01:08:58,325 --> 01:09:02,237 - Oh you are Alan, that's great! - Don't tell the Kens, I'm trying to escape 1118 01:09:02,357 --> 01:09:05,661 I cannot sit on one more leather couch. It's going to break my spirit 1119 01:09:05,981 --> 01:09:09,419 As soon as they figure out how to build that wall sideways and not just up 1120 01:09:09,539 --> 01:09:11,836 No one is going to be able to get in or out 1121 01:09:11,956 --> 01:09:13,539 So we want to leave, we'd better make a run for it 1122 01:09:13,563 --> 01:09:14,813 No Alan, you can't go 1123 01:09:14,833 --> 01:09:16,310 Having a Barbie in the Real World is what 1124 01:09:16,334 --> 01:09:17,998 caused all these problems in the first place 1125 01:09:18,118 --> 01:09:20,311 Not one person would care if Alan was in the Real World 1126 01:09:20,335 --> 01:09:21,566 In fact, it's happened before 1127 01:09:21,486 --> 01:09:23,395 All of NSYNC, Alan 1128 01:09:23,723 --> 01:09:25,727 Yes, even him. So come on! 1129 01:09:25,847 --> 01:09:26,847 Hey, you there! 1130 01:09:27,823 --> 01:09:30,536 - What... what do we do? - Just get in the car and keep it singing 1131 01:09:30,756 --> 01:09:32,851 Hey man! Be ready for anything 1132 01:09:33,076 --> 01:09:34,873 - Who are you? - I'm Alan 1133 01:09:34,993 --> 01:09:37,791 I'm uh... I'm Ken's buddy. Yeah. All his clothes fit me 1134 01:09:41,372 --> 01:09:42,372 Get in the car 1135 01:09:47,413 --> 01:09:50,095 - Wait, you don't have a driver's license - Well this car doesn't have an engine 1136 01:09:50,358 --> 01:09:51,358 Fine 1137 01:09:51,988 --> 01:09:54,522 KINGDOM OF KEN 1138 01:09:55,197 --> 01:09:57,834 - What are you doing? We gotta go - We have to go back 1139 01:09:57,954 --> 01:10:00,602 Barbie Land needs saving. Barbie needs saving 1140 01:10:01,069 --> 01:10:02,292 Wh... you hate Barbie 1141 01:10:02,316 --> 01:10:04,410 But you don't. You've always believed in what she could be 1142 01:10:04,430 --> 01:10:07,918 Yeah, well, I was wrong. Barbie gave up. The Kens won 1143 01:10:08,948 --> 01:10:10,527 You have to try. Even if... 1144 01:10:10,647 --> 01:10:12,973 Even if you can't make it perfect, you can make it better 1145 01:10:13,093 --> 01:10:14,939 I can't make anything better. I'm the one who ruined 1146 01:10:14,963 --> 01:10:16,804 Barbie Land with my stupid drawings in the first place 1147 01:10:16,824 --> 01:10:18,825 They're not stupid, they're amazing 1148 01:10:21,446 --> 01:10:22,724 You like my drawings? 1149 01:10:23,073 --> 01:10:25,881 They're weird and dark and... crazy 1150 01:10:26,378 --> 01:10:28,192 Everything you pretend not to be 1151 01:10:30,226 --> 01:10:33,554 I am.... I am. I'm weird and I'm dark and I'm crazy 1152 01:10:36,697 --> 01:10:38,447 Easy. Easy... 1153 01:10:40,974 --> 01:10:41,874 Okay 1154 01:10:42,499 --> 01:10:44,399 - Do you want some more Alan? - No! 1155 01:10:45,601 --> 01:10:48,951 - We have to get out of here right now - Shut up, Alan! We're going back 1156 01:10:49,620 --> 01:10:51,273 Let's go get my doll 1157 01:10:55,210 --> 01:10:56,870 I'll never get out of here 1158 01:10:57,328 --> 01:10:58,622 Where do we find Barbie? 1159 01:10:58,646 --> 01:11:00,248 There's only one place she'd be 1160 01:11:02,310 --> 01:11:03,570 You're a writer 1161 01:11:03,690 --> 01:11:06,516 This is your Nobel prize. Remember winning it? 1162 01:11:06,731 --> 01:11:09,446 It's useless trying to deprogram her, I already did everything I could 1163 01:11:09,470 --> 01:11:10,367 Oh my god 1164 01:11:11,071 --> 01:11:12,882 I don't even know how I got here 1165 01:11:13,002 --> 01:11:14,406 I don't deserve this 1166 01:11:14,526 --> 01:11:16,257 Um, I'd like to thank... 1167 01:11:16,488 --> 01:11:17,288 Ken 1168 01:11:18,211 --> 01:11:19,611 Thank you, Ken 1169 01:11:20,022 --> 01:11:21,478 I love you, Ken 1170 01:11:21,888 --> 01:11:23,560 The fork in my soup is this Barb... 1171 01:11:23,584 --> 01:11:26,456 Why didn't the brainwashing work on you? 1172 01:11:26,553 --> 01:11:29,573 My exposure to the Real World must have made be immune 1173 01:11:29,693 --> 01:11:32,488 Either you're brainwashed or you're weird and ugly 1174 01:11:32,512 --> 01:11:33,609 There is no in between 1175 01:11:33,629 --> 01:11:34,807 Sing it, sister 1176 01:11:34,902 --> 01:11:37,248 Well, get ready kids. Because in 48 hours... 1177 01:11:37,272 --> 01:11:38,818 Barbie Land becomes Ken Land 1178 01:11:38,837 --> 01:11:41,170 Come on, gang. We'll find Barbie at the top of these stairs 1179 01:11:41,290 --> 01:11:42,740 The Kens... they found us 1180 01:11:46,772 --> 01:11:47,772 Ken! 1181 01:11:48,150 --> 01:11:49,150 Ken? 1182 01:11:52,958 --> 01:11:54,158 Hello? 1183 01:11:54,926 --> 01:11:56,824 Humans. We're fine 1184 01:11:56,944 --> 01:11:57,994 And Alan 1185 01:11:58,811 --> 01:12:01,452 Come into my Weird House, hi! I'm Weird Barbie 1186 01:12:01,572 --> 01:12:04,576 I am in the splits, I have a funky haircut and I smell like basement 1187 01:12:04,696 --> 01:12:07,486 Oh my god, I had a Weird Barbie! 1188 01:12:07,606 --> 01:12:10,576 - Yeah, you did - You make then weird by playing too hard 1189 01:12:10,800 --> 01:12:11,620 It's cool 1190 01:12:12,044 --> 01:12:14,524 That's Sugar Daddy Ken, and Earring Magic Ken 1191 01:12:14,644 --> 01:12:15,831 Mattel discontinued them 1192 01:12:15,951 --> 01:12:18,611 - Sugar daddy? - No no no, I'm not a sugar daddy 1193 01:12:18,731 --> 01:12:21,130 This is Sugar. And I'm her daddy 1194 01:12:21,372 --> 01:12:23,145 And I have an earring, a magic earring 1195 01:12:23,265 --> 01:12:25,115 These were actual Kens 1196 01:12:25,633 --> 01:12:27,791 More discontinued Barbies 1197 01:12:27,911 --> 01:12:30,817 - Growing Up Skipper? May I? - Okay 1198 01:12:30,937 --> 01:12:31,837 Watch this 1199 01:12:33,216 --> 01:12:35,683 - Her boobs grow! - Why would they do that? 1200 01:12:35,803 --> 01:12:37,453 And Barbie Video Girl? 1201 01:12:37,473 --> 01:12:39,233 I have a TV in my back 1202 01:12:39,253 --> 01:12:42,428 You know whose dream that is? Nobody. Nobody's dream 1203 01:12:42,748 --> 01:12:44,718 And that's Barbie Barbie, of course 1204 01:12:44,738 --> 01:12:46,988 She's not dead, she's just having an existential crisis 1205 01:12:47,268 --> 01:12:48,458 Okay, come on 1206 01:12:52,006 --> 01:12:53,006 What's wrong? 1207 01:12:56,932 --> 01:12:58,032 I'm not... 1208 01:12:58,911 --> 01:13:00,397 pretty anymore 1209 01:13:02,375 --> 01:13:04,242 What? You're so pretty 1210 01:13:04,362 --> 01:13:07,647 I'm not "Stereotypical Barbie" pretty 1211 01:13:07,767 --> 01:13:09,845 Note to the filmakers: Margot Robbie is the wrong 1212 01:13:09,869 --> 01:13:11,947 person to cast if you want to make this point 1213 01:13:12,066 --> 01:13:13,456 But you're beautiful 1214 01:13:14,071 --> 01:13:15,841 It's not just that. I'm not... 1215 01:13:17,572 --> 01:13:19,364 smart enough to be interesting 1216 01:13:19,484 --> 01:13:21,797 - You're so smart - I can't do brain surgery 1217 01:13:21,917 --> 01:13:23,572 I've never flown a plane 1218 01:13:25,205 --> 01:13:26,655 I'm not the President 1219 01:13:28,157 --> 01:13:30,307 No one on the Supreme Court is me 1220 01:13:32,387 --> 01:13:33,487 I'm not... 1221 01:13:34,205 --> 01:13:35,405 good enough... 1222 01:13:35,913 --> 01:13:37,213 for anything 1223 01:13:43,625 --> 01:13:46,375 It is literally impossible to be a woman 1224 01:13:48,240 --> 01:13:50,440 You are so beautiful 1225 01:13:50,560 --> 01:13:53,096 And so smart, and it kills me that 1226 01:13:53,120 --> 01:13:55,256 you don't think you're good enough 1227 01:13:55,504 --> 01:13:56,502 Like... 1228 01:13:56,755 --> 01:13:59,405 we have to always be extraordinary 1229 01:14:00,643 --> 01:14:01,412 But somehow 1230 01:14:01,490 --> 01:14:04,615 we're always doing it wrong 1231 01:14:07,202 --> 01:14:09,108 You have to be thin, but not too thin 1232 01:14:09,228 --> 01:14:11,403 And you can never say you want to be thin 1233 01:14:11,427 --> 01:14:13,794 You have to say you want to be healthy 1234 01:14:13,814 --> 01:14:16,584 But also you have to be thin 1235 01:14:17,185 --> 01:14:20,018 You have money, but can't ask for money 1236 01:14:20,038 --> 01:14:21,588 Because that's crass 1237 01:14:23,725 --> 01:14:25,631 You have to be boss, but can't be mean 1238 01:14:25,751 --> 01:14:28,809 You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas 1239 01:14:28,929 --> 01:14:30,809 You're supposed to love being a mother, but 1240 01:14:30,833 --> 01:14:32,712 don't talk about your kids all the damn time 1241 01:14:32,832 --> 01:14:37,461 You have to be a career woman, but also always be looking out for other people 1242 01:14:37,902 --> 01:14:40,997 You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is insane 1243 01:14:41,117 --> 01:14:44,064 But if you point that out, you're accused of complaining 1244 01:14:44,254 --> 01:14:45,965 You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but 1245 01:14:45,989 --> 01:14:48,302 not so pretty that you tempt them too much or 1246 01:14:48,322 --> 01:14:51,453 that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood 1247 01:14:51,473 --> 01:14:53,034 but always stand out 1248 01:14:53,154 --> 01:14:55,287 And always be grateful 1249 01:14:55,787 --> 01:14:59,028 But never forget that the system is rigged, so find a way to acknowledge that 1250 01:14:59,148 --> 01:15:01,142 But also, always be grateful 1251 01:15:01,239 --> 01:15:03,138 You have to never get old 1252 01:15:03,258 --> 01:15:06,070 Never be rude, never show off 1253 01:15:06,190 --> 01:15:10,265 Never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear 1254 01:15:10,484 --> 01:15:13,449 Never get out of line, it's too hard 1255 01:15:13,569 --> 01:15:17,700 It's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says "thank you" 1256 01:15:17,820 --> 01:15:20,154 And it turns out, in fact, that not only are you doing 1257 01:15:20,178 --> 01:15:23,212 everything wrong, but also everything is your fault 1258 01:15:28,486 --> 01:15:29,935 I'm just so tired... 1259 01:15:30,529 --> 01:15:35,865 of watching myself and every single other woman 1260 01:15:36,097 --> 01:15:40,245 tie herself into knots so that people will like us 1261 01:15:43,769 --> 01:15:45,437 And if all of that... 1262 01:15:46,636 --> 01:15:49,515 is also true for a doll... 1263 01:15:52,693 --> 01:15:54,843 representing a woman... 1264 01:15:57,264 --> 01:15:59,731 then I don't even know 1265 01:16:05,999 --> 01:16:07,149 Wait... 1266 01:16:08,350 --> 01:16:09,850 I did write a book 1267 01:16:10,571 --> 01:16:12,590 It's like I've been in a dream 1268 01:16:12,710 --> 01:16:15,624 where I was somehow really invested 1269 01:16:15,648 --> 01:16:18,683 in the Zack Snyder cut of Justice League 1270 01:16:20,250 --> 01:16:23,236 But what you said broke me out of it 1271 01:16:24,288 --> 01:16:26,335 - Really? - Yeah 1272 01:16:26,366 --> 01:16:28,074 You're back! She's back! 1273 01:16:28,194 --> 01:16:31,207 By giving voice to the cognitive dissonance required to be a woman 1274 01:16:31,227 --> 01:16:33,793 under the patriarchy, you robbed it of its power 1275 01:16:33,813 --> 01:16:34,813 Yes 1276 01:16:36,349 --> 01:16:37,423 I just said all of that 1277 01:16:37,543 --> 01:16:39,926 Hell yes, White Savior Barbie! 1278 01:16:40,178 --> 01:16:43,128 No, it was your mom. Your mom did the saving 1279 01:16:43,546 --> 01:16:45,070 We have to stop the Kens 1280 01:16:45,094 --> 01:16:47,594 And you need to say all of those things to the other Barbies 1281 01:16:47,614 --> 01:16:48,972 - That's the key - Got it 1282 01:16:49,092 --> 01:16:51,337 But how are we going to get the Barbies away from their Kens? 1283 01:16:51,575 --> 01:16:53,414 We have experience with a world like this one 1284 01:16:53,534 --> 01:16:55,354 Do you have a map of Barbie Land? 1285 01:16:55,474 --> 01:16:56,854 What do you think? 1286 01:16:59,888 --> 01:17:01,548 - Wow - Thanks, I built it 1287 01:17:01,549 --> 01:17:02,343 Okay, here's the deal 1288 01:17:02,368 --> 01:17:06,200 It's not just about how they see us, it's about how they see themselves 1289 01:17:06,320 --> 01:17:09,127 Ken Land contains the seeds of its own destruction 1290 01:17:09,147 --> 01:17:11,508 First we have to get the Barbies away from their Kens 1291 01:17:11,912 --> 01:17:14,618 We could use a decoy Barbie who pretends 1292 01:17:14,642 --> 01:17:16,848 to be brainwashed. That should be you 1293 01:17:23,717 --> 01:17:25,999 Distract them by appearing helpless and confused 1294 01:17:26,119 --> 01:17:28,076 Kens cannot resist a damsel in distress 1295 01:17:28,196 --> 01:17:30,815 You have to make them believe that they're complacent 1296 01:17:31,015 --> 01:17:33,853 That they have the power. And when their guard is down... 1297 01:17:33,973 --> 01:17:35,723 You take the power back 1298 01:17:38,525 --> 01:17:40,695 The influence that Porsche 356 has 1299 01:17:40,719 --> 01:17:42,888 had on the motoring world as a whole... 1300 01:17:43,008 --> 01:17:44,164 it can't be overstated 1301 01:17:44,284 --> 01:17:46,244 Ugh, Photoshop is so hard 1302 01:17:46,268 --> 01:17:48,527 I just don't understand how to use the select tool 1303 01:17:48,647 --> 01:17:50,921 Honey, you can only use the select tool if 1304 01:17:50,945 --> 01:17:52,918 the layer is highlighted. Let me show you 1305 01:17:52,938 --> 01:17:55,537 My tiny head is just swimming with technical jargon like... 1306 01:17:55,657 --> 01:17:59,215 Color bands and magnetic lassos and bitmap 1307 01:17:59,335 --> 01:18:01,645 Do you think that you, with strong arms, can explain to me... 1308 01:18:01,765 --> 01:18:03,902 - What's happening? - Alan, go around 1309 01:18:06,112 --> 01:18:07,316 - But what about Ken? - No no no... 1310 01:18:07,436 --> 01:18:09,343 - No, but I love him! - Come on, Alan 1311 01:18:11,074 --> 01:18:12,509 What's going to happen to Ken? 1312 01:18:12,629 --> 01:18:13,679 Just listen 1313 01:18:14,254 --> 01:18:16,857 You have to be their mommies, but no remind them of their mommy 1314 01:18:16,977 --> 01:18:19,310 Any power you have must be masked under a giggle 1315 01:18:22,076 --> 01:18:23,044 What happened? 1316 01:18:23,064 --> 01:18:24,960 One minute I was President and then the next 1317 01:18:24,984 --> 01:18:27,441 I was cutting Ken's steak for him? 1318 01:18:27,759 --> 01:18:29,417 Welcome back, Madame President 1319 01:18:29,537 --> 01:18:33,095 Then we'll recruit the now un-brainwashed Barbies to our cause 1320 01:18:33,215 --> 01:18:34,800 They can be the new decoys 1321 01:18:34,920 --> 01:18:37,420 You can tell them that you've never seen The Godfather 1322 01:18:37,444 --> 01:18:39,613 and that you'd love them to explain it to you 1323 01:18:40,582 --> 01:18:43,669 - Ooh, are you guys watching The God Father? - The Godfather 1324 01:18:43,789 --> 01:18:46,521 - I've never seen it! - Oh my god, you've never seen The Godfather? 1325 01:18:46,641 --> 01:18:49,572 This movie is a rich blend of Coppola's aesthetic genius 1326 01:18:49,592 --> 01:18:52,611 and a triumph to Robert Evans and the architecture of the 70s studio system 1327 01:18:52,731 --> 01:18:55,276 Can you just start the movie over and just talk through the whole thing? 1328 01:18:55,296 --> 01:18:58,639 You have to find a way to reject a man's advances without damaging their egos 1329 01:18:58,759 --> 01:19:00,655 Because if you say yes to them, you're a tramp 1330 01:19:00,679 --> 01:19:02,409 but if you say no to them, you're a prude 1331 01:19:04,268 --> 01:19:06,660 - I don't want to touch a foot - No, you don't 1332 01:19:06,780 --> 01:19:09,245 Another one: be confused about money 1333 01:19:09,365 --> 01:19:11,708 I just have all my money in a savings account 1334 01:19:11,828 --> 01:19:14,660 That's totally wrong! You need treasury bonds, corporate bonds, CDs... 1335 01:19:14,780 --> 01:19:16,383 No one has CDs anymore! 1336 01:19:16,503 --> 01:19:19,308 Ah sweetheart, you are so cute when you're confused 1337 01:19:19,428 --> 01:19:23,560 But no, not music. CD stands for certificate of deposit 1338 01:19:23,680 --> 01:19:26,720 Stephen Malkmus really harnessed the cervic toxing of Lou Reed 1339 01:19:26,840 --> 01:19:29,655 with post-punk influences such as Wire and The Fall. 1340 01:19:29,775 --> 01:19:32,879 - What am I wearing? I would never choose this - Because you're a physicist 1341 01:19:32,999 --> 01:19:34,900 - Do you want some pants? - Yeah 1342 01:19:37,113 --> 01:19:38,398 Welcome back, Barbie. 1343 01:19:38,418 --> 01:19:41,386 Gee, I am so awkward and don't feel pretty at all 1344 01:19:41,506 --> 01:19:43,195 And will anyone ever like me? 1345 01:19:43,415 --> 01:19:44,846 Or distract them with the old standby 1346 01:19:44,966 --> 01:19:47,325 Wearing glasses so that they can discover that you're pretty 1347 01:19:47,445 --> 01:19:49,304 - May I? - Sure, go ahead 1348 01:19:53,821 --> 01:19:56,588 There. Now we see your beautiful face 1349 01:19:57,703 --> 01:20:01,138 And then there's pretending to be terrible at every sport ever 1350 01:20:01,258 --> 01:20:03,123 Here, let me show you 1351 01:20:03,514 --> 01:20:05,221 Here, let me show you 1352 01:20:05,341 --> 01:20:07,391 - Here, let me show you - Here, let me show you 1353 01:20:07,511 --> 01:20:09,421 Here, let us show you 1354 01:20:09,541 --> 01:20:12,958 We do this until every single Barbie is deprogrammed 1355 01:20:13,078 --> 01:20:14,970 and ready to take back Barbie Land 1356 01:20:15,090 --> 01:20:15,890 Yes! 1357 01:20:22,432 --> 01:20:25,867 Tomorrow the Kens vote to change the Constitution 1358 01:20:26,124 --> 01:20:27,612 So we have to get there first 1359 01:20:27,636 --> 01:20:29,367 The final stage of our of the plan 1360 01:20:29,487 --> 01:20:31,376 To turn the Kens against each other 1361 01:20:31,496 --> 01:20:33,653 Now that they think they have power over you 1362 01:20:33,773 --> 01:20:36,993 You make them question whether they have enough power over each other 1363 01:20:37,443 --> 01:20:38,898 What if this doesn't work? 1364 01:20:39,784 --> 01:20:40,884 What if he doesn't... 1365 01:20:42,578 --> 01:20:44,089 ...like me anymore? 1366 01:20:45,411 --> 01:20:48,273 - He likes you - He was really upset 1367 01:20:49,608 --> 01:20:51,058 Because he likes you 1368 01:20:51,533 --> 01:20:53,451 And because he knows deep down that... 1369 01:20:53,754 --> 01:20:57,083 - ...you don't like him the same way - It still doesn't mean I want to hurt him 1370 01:20:58,472 --> 01:20:59,872 He took your house 1371 01:21:00,362 --> 01:21:03,564 He brainwashed your friends, he wants to control the government 1372 01:21:03,684 --> 01:21:04,684 True 1373 01:21:05,021 --> 01:21:07,008 - Girl - Yeah 1374 01:21:09,173 --> 01:21:11,223 It's like I'm a woman already 1375 01:21:11,527 --> 01:21:12,627 Welcome 1376 01:21:13,106 --> 01:21:14,343 Is this what it's like? 1377 01:21:15,827 --> 01:21:17,486 - It's time - I'm ready 1378 01:21:18,951 --> 01:21:20,101 Thank you 1379 01:21:20,666 --> 01:21:21,866 Here I go 1380 01:21:28,608 --> 01:21:29,408 Hi! 1381 01:21:39,636 --> 01:21:40,586 Oh, hey 1382 01:21:41,302 --> 01:21:42,118 You've caught me reading 1383 01:21:44,349 --> 01:21:47,519 -I've been thinking, Ken Land? - Kendom 1384 01:21:47,521 --> 01:21:49,253 - Kendom - Kendom Land 1385 01:21:49,373 --> 01:21:50,589 - Land of... - Land of the Free and the Men 1386 01:21:50,590 --> 01:21:53,353 - Right, well, this place... is... - Kendom Land 1387 01:21:53,778 --> 01:21:54,828 Really great 1388 01:21:55,044 --> 01:21:57,026 And the Kens really are just better at 1389 01:21:57,050 --> 01:21:58,871 ruling than the Barbies ever were 1390 01:21:59,170 --> 01:22:01,951 Well, we just took patriarchy and, you know, made it patriarchy 1391 01:22:02,071 --> 01:22:04,441 - Yeah, well, I was thinking... - Yes? 1392 01:22:04,461 --> 01:22:08,198 I'm ready to be your long term distance 1393 01:22:08,218 --> 01:22:10,280 low committment casual girlfriend 1394 01:22:10,400 --> 01:22:12,001 if you'll still have me 1395 01:22:13,785 --> 01:22:15,935 - Can you just hold on for one second? - Oh, okay 1396 01:22:21,549 --> 01:22:22,625 Sublime! 1397 01:22:26,963 --> 01:22:28,863 I don't know, I'm going to have to think about that 1398 01:22:29,187 --> 01:22:30,187 Oh 1399 01:22:31,488 --> 01:22:32,324 Please? 1400 01:22:35,240 --> 01:22:37,083 Okay. Come on in 1401 01:22:37,513 --> 01:22:39,756 - I'll play the guitar at you - Oh, yay! 1402 01:23:48,484 --> 01:23:51,294 This is the final stage of our plan 1403 01:23:52,158 --> 01:23:54,320 Give them their dream come true 1404 01:23:54,903 --> 01:23:56,809 And at the peak of their happiness 1405 01:23:56,929 --> 01:23:59,903 when they think you actually care about this song... 1406 01:24:03,220 --> 01:24:04,870 You take it all away 1407 01:24:17,751 --> 01:24:18,855 What are you texting? 1408 01:24:18,975 --> 01:24:20,875 - What? - Who are you texting? 1409 01:24:21,761 --> 01:24:23,511 - No one - Hm, let me just... 1410 01:24:25,020 --> 01:24:27,263 - Ken! - Sorry, one sec 1411 01:24:29,795 --> 01:24:31,843 That's a beautiful song that you're playing 1412 01:24:32,534 --> 01:24:33,784 Did you write it? 1413 01:24:33,904 --> 01:24:35,724 Yes. Do you want to sit here and watch me do it 1414 01:24:35,844 --> 01:24:38,268 while I stare uncomfortably into your eyes for four and a half minutes? 1415 01:24:38,388 --> 01:24:39,388 I would love that 1416 01:24:40,449 --> 01:24:41,849 Sorry, one sec 1417 01:24:43,493 --> 01:24:44,393 I'll be right back 1418 01:24:48,065 --> 01:24:51,001 You play on their egos and their petty jealousies 1419 01:24:51,121 --> 01:24:53,109 and you turn them against each other 1420 01:24:53,229 --> 01:24:54,029 One sec 1421 01:24:58,440 --> 01:24:59,390 Sorry 1422 01:25:00,048 --> 01:25:03,545 While they're fighting, we take back Barbie Land 1423 01:25:05,889 --> 01:25:10,555 Does the title of long term distance casual low committment girlfriend mean nothing? 1424 01:25:10,675 --> 01:25:14,500 - What do we do? - We beach every individual one of them off 1425 01:25:14,702 --> 01:25:15,502 No 1426 01:25:16,584 --> 01:25:17,903 We go to war 1427 01:25:19,007 --> 01:25:20,560 - Against the Barbies? - No, against the Kens 1428 01:25:20,680 --> 01:25:22,151 - But we are the Kens - The other Kens 1429 01:25:22,271 --> 01:25:23,537 Well we should probably call them something 1430 01:25:23,561 --> 01:25:24,605 else so that it doesn't get confusing 1431 01:25:24,625 --> 01:25:26,000 No, because we'll know what we mean 1432 01:25:26,024 --> 01:25:28,089 But when we're on the battlefield and you "Ken at 4 o'clock"... 1433 01:25:28,109 --> 01:25:32,270 - ...how will I if you mean us Kens or the other Kens? - Because my dudes, we attack at 10 o'clock 1434 01:25:32,602 --> 01:25:34,643 We take advantage of the morning waves 1435 01:25:34,763 --> 01:25:37,484 But not so early, because we're going to want to sleep in 1436 01:25:38,232 --> 01:25:40,125 But what will we fight with? We have no guns 1437 01:25:40,245 --> 01:25:42,332 Tennis rackets and volleyballs 1438 01:25:42,452 --> 01:25:44,935 - And slap fights - And beach offs 1439 01:25:45,159 --> 01:25:47,159 - Yes! - Oh yeah 1440 01:25:52,783 --> 01:25:57,083 ♪ Doesn't seem to matter what I do 1441 01:25:57,107 --> 01:26:00,407 ♪ I'm always number two 1442 01:26:01,131 --> 01:26:06,431 ♪ No one knows how hard I tried, oh-oh, I 1443 01:26:06,455 --> 01:26:10,755 ♪ I have feelings that I can't explain 1444 01:26:11,579 --> 01:26:14,179 ♪ Drivin' me insane 1445 01:26:15,003 --> 01:26:18,403 ♪ All my life, been so polite 1446 01:26:18,427 --> 01:26:21,427 ♪ But I'll sleep alone tonight 1447 01:26:21,651 --> 01:26:23,551 ♪ 'Cause I'm just Ken 1448 01:26:23,575 --> 01:26:26,875 ♪ Anywhere else I'd be a ten 1449 01:26:26,899 --> 01:26:34,999 ♪ Is it my destiny to live and die a life of blonde fragility? 1450 01:26:35,623 --> 01:26:37,223 ♪ I'm just Ken 1451 01:26:37,247 --> 01:26:40,347 ♪ Where I see love, she sees a friend 1452 01:26:40,671 --> 01:26:44,659 ♪ What will it take for her to see the man 1453 01:26:44,683 --> 01:26:48,471 ♪ behind the tan and fight for me? 1454 01:27:03,172 --> 01:27:07,305 I'll see you on the Malibu Beach! 1455 01:27:21,937 --> 01:27:26,110 You can Ken, you can Ken, you can Ken... 1456 01:27:52,182 --> 01:27:54,182 And now they destroy themselves 1457 01:27:54,569 --> 01:27:57,547 You know what I think, I think we should put our fricken Constitution back 1458 01:27:58,073 --> 01:27:59,473 - Yes! - Yes! 1459 01:28:05,836 --> 01:28:07,825 This is a real hornet's nest in here 1460 01:28:08,391 --> 01:28:09,741 Watch your flank! 1461 01:28:12,036 --> 01:28:13,836 - I got shot - Impossible! 1462 01:28:14,636 --> 01:28:16,486 - Are there real weapons here? - No 1463 01:28:17,110 --> 01:28:20,110 ♪ I wanna know what’s like to love 1464 01:28:20,334 --> 01:28:22,534 ♪ To be the real thing 1465 01:28:23,658 --> 01:28:29,958 ♪ Is it a crime? Am I not hot when I’m in my feelings? 1466 01:28:29,982 --> 01:28:37,082 ♪ And is my moment finally here or am I dreaming? 1467 01:28:37,506 --> 01:28:40,806 ♪ I’m no dreamer 1468 01:29:22,130 --> 01:29:23,230 ♪ Ken! 1469 01:29:27,954 --> 01:29:28,954 ♪ Ken! 1470 01:29:33,578 --> 01:29:37,378 ♪ Can you feel Ken-ergy? 1471 01:29:39,202 --> 01:29:40,202 ♪ Ken! 1472 01:29:44,226 --> 01:29:47,926 ♪ They are, you are, we are 1473 01:29:47,950 --> 01:29:49,850 ♪ I’m just Ken 1474 01:29:49,874 --> 01:29:52,374 ♪ Anywhere else I'd be a ten 1475 01:29:53,098 --> 01:30:01,198 ♪ Is it my destiny to live and die a life of blonde fragility? 1476 01:30:01,722 --> 01:30:03,322 ♪ I’m just Ken 1477 01:30:03,346 --> 01:30:06,346 ♪ Where I see love, she sees a friend 1478 01:30:06,870 --> 01:30:10,658 ♪ What will it take for her to see the man 1479 01:30:10,682 --> 01:30:15,370 ♪ behind the tan and fight for me? 1480 01:30:15,394 --> 01:30:16,694 ♪ I’m just Ken 1481 01:30:16,718 --> 01:30:18,718 ♪ And I’m enough 1482 01:30:18,942 --> 01:30:21,842 ♪ And I’m great at doing stuff 1483 01:30:22,566 --> 01:30:27,266 ♪ So, hey, check me out, yeah, I’m just Ken 1484 01:30:28,890 --> 01:30:30,290 ♪ My name's Ken 1485 01:30:30,314 --> 01:30:32,314 ♪ And so am I 1486 01:30:32,538 --> 01:30:36,038 ♪ Put that manly hand in mine 1487 01:30:36,462 --> 01:30:41,062 ♪ So, hey world, check me out, yeah I’m just Ken 1488 01:30:42,986 --> 01:30:49,986 ♪ Baby, I’m just Ken ♪ Nobody else, nobody else, I'm just Ken! 1489 01:30:50,510 --> 01:30:52,524 - Ken! - Huh? Yeah? 1490 01:30:52,644 --> 01:30:54,994 - Aren't we supposed to vote today? - What? 1491 01:30:55,255 --> 01:30:58,327 - To change the Constitution - That was today, wasn't it? 1492 01:31:04,161 --> 01:31:06,176 Okay ladies, let's do this! 1493 01:31:06,296 --> 01:31:09,576 All those in favor of letting Barbie Land, be Barbie Land... 1494 01:31:10,036 --> 01:31:11,044 ...say "I" 1495 01:31:11,068 --> 01:31:13,068 I! 1496 01:31:26,497 --> 01:31:28,097 I'm so happy 1497 01:31:28,678 --> 01:31:30,589 Go, Barbie! Go, Barbie! 1498 01:31:30,613 --> 01:31:32,524 Go, Barbie! Go, Barbie! 1499 01:31:47,219 --> 01:31:48,723 Is it just my imagination... 1500 01:31:48,747 --> 01:31:51,266 Or do these Mojo Dojo Casa Houses... 1501 01:31:51,186 --> 01:31:52,786 ...just get dreamier? 1502 01:31:53,913 --> 01:31:56,410 That's because they're dreamhouses, mother------ 1503 01:31:56,870 --> 01:32:01,077 That's right, we've reinstated the Barbie Land Constitution to what it should be 1504 01:32:01,197 --> 01:32:04,499 And restored all the Barbies' brains and autonomy 1505 01:32:08,460 --> 01:32:10,831 And we seriously disinfected those houses 1506 01:32:10,951 --> 01:32:12,001 What do we do? 1507 01:32:14,089 --> 01:32:15,284 Kens?! 1508 01:32:17,258 --> 01:32:18,558 Who are we attacking, sir? 1509 01:32:18,582 --> 01:32:21,182 No 1510 01:32:21,606 --> 01:32:22,706 No! 1511 01:32:26,288 --> 01:32:27,633 Don't look at me! 1512 01:32:29,197 --> 01:32:30,047 Is he crying? 1513 01:32:30,696 --> 01:32:32,396 Just... give us a minute. 1514 01:32:38,037 --> 01:32:38,837 Ken? 1515 01:32:41,935 --> 01:32:44,660 - Are you ok? - Yeah. Totally 1516 01:32:44,942 --> 01:32:46,702 It's okay if you're crying. You know, I 1517 01:32:46,726 --> 01:32:48,858 cried too and it's actually kind of amazing 1518 01:32:48,978 --> 01:32:51,419 I'm a liberated man, I don't cry, he's not weak 1519 01:32:51,539 --> 01:32:52,539 Okay... 1520 01:32:55,122 --> 01:32:56,672 Do you want to sit up for a minute? 1521 01:33:03,811 --> 01:33:05,411 It was hard running stuff 1522 01:33:06,572 --> 01:33:07,772 I didn't love it 1523 01:33:09,539 --> 01:33:10,639 I get it 1524 01:33:14,951 --> 01:33:17,407 And those mini fridges are so small 1525 01:33:17,990 --> 01:33:19,458 You can only fit a six pack in there 1526 01:33:19,482 --> 01:33:22,250 and the freezers are basically useless 1527 01:33:24,417 --> 01:33:27,501 To be honest, when I found out the patriarchy wasn't about horses 1528 01:33:27,621 --> 01:33:29,257 I had lost interest anyway 1529 01:33:30,488 --> 01:33:31,638 That's okay 1530 01:33:36,975 --> 01:33:39,620 I always thought this would be our house 1531 01:33:42,444 --> 01:33:43,444 Oh... 1532 01:33:46,732 --> 01:33:47,532 Ken... 1533 01:33:50,012 --> 01:33:51,987 I think I owe you an apology 1534 01:33:52,765 --> 01:33:54,965 I'm really sorry I took you for granted 1535 01:33:57,399 --> 01:34:00,199 Not every night had to be Girl's Night 1536 01:34:03,500 --> 01:34:05,300 Thank you for saying that 1537 01:34:06,501 --> 01:34:07,501 Thank you 1538 01:34:09,668 --> 01:34:12,317 Oh, I didn't mean suggest...uhh 1539 01:34:12,773 --> 01:34:14,923 I just don't know who I am without you 1540 01:34:16,854 --> 01:34:18,125 You're Ken 1541 01:34:19,490 --> 01:34:22,002 But it's "Barbie... and Ken" 1542 01:34:24,075 --> 01:34:26,343 There is no just Ken 1543 01:34:27,732 --> 01:34:29,282 That's why I was created 1544 01:34:29,990 --> 01:34:31,388 I only exist... 1545 01:34:33,172 --> 01:34:35,206 within the warmth of your gaze 1546 01:34:36,476 --> 01:34:37,626 Without it... 1547 01:34:38,818 --> 01:34:42,592 i'm just an another blonde guy who can't do flips 1548 01:34:51,577 --> 01:34:56,210 Maybe it's time to discover who Ken is. 1549 01:34:56,935 --> 01:34:58,685 Ok, I think I get it now 1550 01:34:59,316 --> 01:35:01,779 No no no no no, this isn't the answer 1551 01:35:05,216 --> 01:35:06,616 I feel so stupid 1552 01:35:07,670 --> 01:35:09,322 I look so stupid 1553 01:35:10,178 --> 01:35:12,817 I look so stupid! 1554 01:35:12,937 --> 01:35:15,051 - No! - You look cool! You look so cool! 1555 01:35:16,352 --> 01:35:20,497 Okay Ken, you have to figure out who you are without me 1556 01:35:22,320 --> 01:35:24,828 - Why? - You're not your girlfriend 1557 01:35:25,219 --> 01:35:27,781 You're not your house, you're not your mink 1558 01:35:28,382 --> 01:35:31,325 - Beach; - Nope, you're not even beach 1559 01:35:32,357 --> 01:35:34,449 Maybe all the things that you thought 1560 01:35:34,928 --> 01:35:37,039 made you you aren't... 1561 01:35:38,325 --> 01:35:40,261 ...really you. 1562 01:35:44,965 --> 01:35:47,585 Maybe it's Barbie and... 1563 01:35:49,575 --> 01:35:51,175 It's Ken 1564 01:35:54,415 --> 01:35:55,315 Ken... 1565 01:35:56,575 --> 01:35:57,475 is... 1566 01:35:59,465 --> 01:36:00,911 - ...me? - Yes! 1567 01:36:01,273 --> 01:36:03,707 Ken is me 1568 01:36:05,492 --> 01:36:06,842 And I'm Barbie 1569 01:36:09,975 --> 01:36:10,775 Ken... 1570 01:36:12,810 --> 01:36:14,100 ...is me! 1571 01:36:14,220 --> 01:36:15,546 - Ken is me! - Ken is me! 1572 01:36:15,570 --> 01:36:16,295 Ken is me! 1573 01:36:17,019 --> 01:36:19,753 I don't even care about being Ken anymore, I just miss my friend Barbie 1574 01:36:19,873 --> 01:36:21,423 - That's cool - Barbie. Barbie! 1575 01:36:21,677 --> 01:36:22,677 I'm right here 1576 01:36:23,320 --> 01:36:24,120 Ken! 1577 01:36:28,838 --> 01:36:30,657 I want you to have it 1578 01:36:32,534 --> 01:36:33,584 It's nice 1579 01:36:41,038 --> 01:36:43,888 We were only fighting because we didn't know who we were 1580 01:36:45,964 --> 01:36:47,843 Ken is... 1581 01:36:48,607 --> 01:36:50,608 ME! 1582 01:36:59,543 --> 01:37:00,893 Ken is right 1583 01:37:01,142 --> 01:37:03,616 It's just so hard to be a leader 1584 01:37:03,850 --> 01:37:05,864 - You know... - That's... my boss 1585 01:37:07,766 --> 01:37:08,666 Midge. 1586 01:37:09,956 --> 01:37:11,656 I thought we discontinued her 1587 01:37:13,652 --> 01:37:15,799 Look, you know how many times 1588 01:37:16,496 --> 01:37:18,617 I've wanted to stand up in a boardmeeting 1589 01:37:18,737 --> 01:37:21,145 and just say "can we just tickle each other?" 1590 01:37:21,648 --> 01:37:24,608 - Really? - Let's have a company retreat and just tickle each other! 1591 01:37:24,728 --> 01:37:26,291 Someone get me. Someone get me 1592 01:37:28,865 --> 01:37:30,567 I love being tickled 1593 01:37:30,949 --> 01:37:33,439 No no no no no no. Don't hug me 1594 01:37:36,520 --> 01:37:37,870 But thanks to Barbies, 1595 01:37:38,172 --> 01:37:42,307 I too can now relieve myself of this heavy existential burden while 1596 01:37:42,427 --> 01:37:45,377 holding onto the very real title of CEO 1597 01:37:46,099 --> 01:37:50,221 And we can restore everything in Barbie Land to exactly the way it was 1598 01:37:50,341 --> 01:37:52,191 - Mr. Mattel... - Please 1599 01:37:52,712 --> 01:37:54,782 - Call me mother - No thank you 1600 01:37:55,267 --> 01:37:58,389 I don't think that things should go back to the way that they were 1601 01:37:58,509 --> 01:38:02,356 No Barbie or Ken should be living in the shadows 1602 01:38:02,750 --> 01:38:03,850 Or Alan 1603 01:38:04,844 --> 01:38:06,326 - Hey - Yeah 1604 01:38:07,208 --> 01:38:09,232 - Hello - I just want to say I'm sorry... 1605 01:38:09,352 --> 01:38:12,232 we called you Weird Barbie behind your back and also to your face 1606 01:38:12,352 --> 01:38:14,402 It's okay. I'm owning it 1607 01:38:14,522 --> 01:38:16,314 Would you like a job in my Cabinet? 1608 01:38:16,615 --> 01:38:18,465 May I please have Sanitation? 1609 01:38:19,636 --> 01:38:21,929 - It's yours! - Yeah, uh, thank you 1610 01:38:22,049 --> 01:38:23,749 - Alright - Madame President 1611 01:38:24,610 --> 01:38:26,994 Please may the Kens have one Supreme Court justice? 1612 01:38:27,114 --> 01:38:28,627 Oh, I can't do that 1613 01:38:29,062 --> 01:38:31,601 But maybe a lower circuit court judgeship... 1614 01:38:31,621 --> 01:38:33,529 We accept! As long as we can wear robes 1615 01:38:33,649 --> 01:38:35,706 Well the Kens have to start somewhere 1616 01:38:35,826 --> 01:38:40,208 And one day the Kens will have as much power and influence in Barbie Land 1617 01:38:40,328 --> 01:38:42,756 As women have in the Real World 1618 01:38:42,876 --> 01:38:43,996 I don't want to... 1619 01:38:44,116 --> 01:38:45,426 - Just go! - I can't! 1620 01:38:45,546 --> 01:38:47,634 - Grow up and go - I have an idea 1621 01:38:48,632 --> 01:38:50,309 Tell me your secret dream, child 1622 01:38:50,429 --> 01:38:52,729 Okay, what about Ordinary Barbie? 1623 01:38:53,674 --> 01:38:55,413 She's not extraordinary. She's... 1624 01:38:55,437 --> 01:38:57,548 not president of anything. Or maybe she is 1625 01:38:57,668 --> 01:38:59,986 Maybe she's a mom, maybe she's not 1626 01:39:00,106 --> 01:39:03,144 Because it's okay, to just want to be a mom 1627 01:39:03,264 --> 01:39:05,614 or to want to President, or a mom who is President 1628 01:39:05,638 --> 01:39:07,544 or not a mom who is also not President 1629 01:39:07,668 --> 01:39:09,552 She just has a flattering top 1630 01:39:09,672 --> 01:39:13,572 And she wants to get through the day feeling kind of good about herself 1631 01:39:16,012 --> 01:39:16,862 That's a... 1632 01:39:17,206 --> 01:39:19,417 - ...terrible idea - Yeah, that's going to make money 1633 01:39:19,607 --> 01:39:21,749 Oh, Ordinary Barbie, I love it! 1634 01:39:22,369 --> 01:39:23,419 Fantastic. 1635 01:39:24,248 --> 01:39:25,480 - Great - Great 1636 01:39:25,600 --> 01:39:26,851 - Cool - Yeah 1637 01:39:27,251 --> 01:39:28,601 I think we're good, right? 1638 01:39:29,138 --> 01:39:32,588 Alright, let's begin the work to close the portal between our two worlds 1639 01:39:34,481 --> 01:39:36,552 - And about Barbie? -What do you mean? 1640 01:39:38,370 --> 01:39:39,556 What's her ending? 1641 01:39:39,993 --> 01:39:41,243 What does she get? 1642 01:39:43,164 --> 01:39:44,114 Well that's easy 1643 01:39:44,175 --> 01:39:45,625 She in love with Ken 1644 01:39:46,266 --> 01:39:47,789 That is not her ending 1645 01:39:49,832 --> 01:39:51,459 I'm not in love with Ken 1646 01:39:52,153 --> 01:39:53,153 What do you want? 1647 01:39:55,072 --> 01:39:56,348 I don't know... I'm... 1648 01:39:58,651 --> 01:40:01,341 I'm not really sure where I belong anymore 1649 01:40:06,250 --> 01:40:08,076 I don't think I have an ending 1650 01:40:08,196 --> 01:40:09,946 That was always the point 1651 01:40:10,433 --> 01:40:13,434 I created you so you wouldn't have an ending 1652 01:40:15,052 --> 01:40:16,035 It's you 1653 01:40:18,636 --> 01:40:20,115 You're Ruth from Mattel 1654 01:40:20,915 --> 01:40:22,898 Baby, I am Mattel 1655 01:40:23,420 --> 01:40:26,152 Until the IRS got to me, but that's another movie 1656 01:40:26,272 --> 01:40:28,216 - So you're... - Ruth Handler 1657 01:40:28,637 --> 01:40:30,387 Inventory of Barbie 1658 01:40:31,852 --> 01:40:32,886 That's so cool 1659 01:40:33,046 --> 01:40:35,377 Her ghost keeps an office on the 17th floor 1660 01:40:35,497 --> 01:40:36,435 - What? - What? 1661 01:40:36,555 --> 01:40:41,312 You guys, do you think the lady who invented Barbie looks like Barbie? 1662 01:40:41,895 --> 01:40:46,620 I'm a 5 foot nothing grandma with a double mastectomy and tax evasion issues 1663 01:40:47,253 --> 01:40:49,403 Nobody looks like Barbie 1664 01:40:49,903 --> 01:40:52,975 Except, of course, Barbie. Take a bow down, honey 1665 01:40:55,427 --> 01:40:58,052 I don't really feel like Barbie anymore 1666 01:41:02,283 --> 01:41:03,783 Come. Walk with me 1667 01:41:24,138 --> 01:41:25,288 Thank you 1668 01:41:27,117 --> 01:41:28,717 Thank you, Barbie 1669 01:41:30,540 --> 01:41:31,540 Thank you 1670 01:41:41,385 --> 01:41:43,225 I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do now 1671 01:41:43,233 --> 01:41:46,646 I've always been Stereotypical Barbie and... 1672 01:41:47,373 --> 01:41:49,313 and don't think I'm really good at anything else 1673 01:41:49,568 --> 01:41:53,511 - You saved Barbie Land from patriarchy - That was very much a group effort 1674 01:41:54,405 --> 01:41:56,669 And you helped that mother and daughter connect 1675 01:41:57,372 --> 01:41:58,922 They really helped each other 1676 01:42:00,328 --> 01:42:02,463 Maybe you're Self-Effacing Barbie? 1677 01:42:04,675 --> 01:42:06,675 Maybe I'm not Barbie anymore 1678 01:42:15,914 --> 01:42:19,369 You understand that humans only have one end 1679 01:42:19,759 --> 01:42:21,459 Ideas live forever 1680 01:42:21,929 --> 01:42:23,479 Humans not so much 1681 01:42:23,962 --> 01:42:25,262 You know that, right? 1682 01:42:25,499 --> 01:42:26,299 I do 1683 01:42:26,612 --> 01:42:29,167 Being human can be pretty uncomfortable 1684 01:42:31,015 --> 01:42:31,915 I know. 1685 01:42:32,334 --> 01:42:36,199 People make up things like the patriarchy and Barbie... 1686 01:42:36,773 --> 01:42:39,460 just to deal with how uncomfortable it is 1687 01:42:40,272 --> 01:42:41,522 I understand that 1688 01:42:41,997 --> 01:42:43,445 And then you die 1689 01:42:45,597 --> 01:42:46,397 Yeah 1690 01:42:48,645 --> 01:42:49,445 Yeah 1691 01:42:56,495 --> 01:42:59,961 I want to be part of the people... 1692 01:43:00,617 --> 01:43:02,217 that make meaning 1693 01:43:03,911 --> 01:43:05,514 Not the thing that's made 1694 01:43:08,454 --> 01:43:11,260 I want to do the imagining. I don't want to be the idea 1695 01:43:11,523 --> 01:43:12,673 Does that makes sense? 1696 01:43:13,614 --> 01:43:18,128 I always knew that Barbie would surprise me, but I never expected this 1697 01:43:18,917 --> 01:43:20,434 Do you give me permission to... 1698 01:43:21,451 --> 01:43:22,801 become human? 1699 01:43:23,568 --> 01:43:26,641 - You don't need my permission - But you're the Creator, you... 1700 01:43:27,768 --> 01:43:29,068 Don't you control me? 1701 01:43:29,188 --> 01:43:33,218 I can't control you, anymore than I can control my own daughter 1702 01:43:34,135 --> 01:43:36,507 I named you after her: Barbara 1703 01:43:36,827 --> 01:43:39,927 And I always hoped for you, like I hoped for her 1704 01:43:41,524 --> 01:43:44,244 We mothers stand still so our daughters 1705 01:43:44,364 --> 01:43:47,475 can look back and see how far they've come 1706 01:43:52,548 --> 01:43:55,055 So being human's not something I need to... 1707 01:43:56,032 --> 01:43:57,232 ask for? Or... 1708 01:43:58,494 --> 01:44:00,144 even want? I can just... 1709 01:44:02,026 --> 01:44:04,172 It's something I just discover I am? 1710 01:44:06,536 --> 01:44:08,527 I can't in good conscience let you take 1711 01:44:08,551 --> 01:44:10,975 this leap without you knowing what it means 1712 01:44:15,052 --> 01:44:16,301 Take my hands 1713 01:44:23,279 --> 01:44:24,763 Now, close your eyes... 1714 01:44:35,298 --> 01:44:36,644 Now, feel 1715 01:46:08,477 --> 01:46:13,028 So Barbie left behind the pastels and plastics of Barbie Land... 1716 01:46:13,148 --> 01:46:15,795 for the pastels and plastics of Los Angeles 1717 01:46:16,193 --> 01:46:18,339 Okay. Thanks for the lift 1718 01:46:19,228 --> 01:46:21,505 - You've got this - I'm really proud of you 1719 01:46:21,829 --> 01:46:25,429 Estoy muy orguoso de ti 1720 01:46:25,453 --> 01:46:27,053 Orgu-LLO-so 1721 01:46:27,077 --> 01:46:29,077 Orgulloso 1722 01:46:29,101 --> 01:46:30,511 Orgulloso de ti 1723 01:46:30,535 --> 01:46:32,101 There you go. Close enough 1724 01:46:32,474 --> 01:46:34,578 You guys are the best. Thank you. 1725 01:46:34,602 --> 01:46:35,602 Okay! 1726 01:46:37,262 --> 01:46:38,062 Sí se puede! 1727 01:46:38,087 --> 01:46:40,951 - That's a political statement - That's appropriation, Dad 1728 01:46:42,364 --> 01:46:43,784 We'll be here when you're done 1729 01:46:45,805 --> 01:46:47,086 We love you! 1730 01:46:56,175 --> 01:46:57,175 Hi 1731 01:46:57,657 --> 01:46:59,157 - Name? - Oh, um 1732 01:46:59,382 --> 01:47:02,161 Handler, Barbara 1733 01:47:04,279 --> 01:47:05,977 And what are you here for today, Barbara? 1734 01:47:07,907 --> 01:47:09,907 I'm here to see my gynecologist 130138