All language subtitles for The.Nanny.S05E12.720p.HMAX.WEBRip.x264-GalaxyTV_track3_eng

Ah, Happy New Year, Isaac.

Thank you, Mr. Sheffield.

Oh, Maxwell, look at the poster
I had made

to convince Margo to do
our show,Marie Antoinette.

Now, listen, when she gets here,
I don't want any screw-ups.

[sniffing]

What are you doing?

I'm sniffing for
Alberto VO5 Top Ramen,

anything that reeks
of Nanny Fine.

[sniffing]

I told you,
she's out of the house.

Okay, okay.

Oh, look, I had them paint on
Margo's trademark mole.

Isn't it amazing
how one bodily imperfection

-can make someone famous?
-Oh!

Then, you should be
known worldwide.

Maxwell, have you noticed
how calm the house is
without Nanny Fine here?

No one to get in the way
or make a scene.

[sighs]

No idiotic stunts
just to meet a movie star.

-Ms. Lange, sir.
-[Maxwell] Oh.

-Maxwell.
-Margo.

Uh, you've met my associate,
C.C. Babcock.

[laughing] Oh, yes,
we had lunch at Spago.

I adored her.
Is she here?

-That's me, Margo.
-Oh.

Now, about my co-star.

I was thinking about that
delicious Lopez boy from
Saved by the Bell.

[scoffs] What is he, 18?
Next to him, you'll look...

less French.

Maxwell, darling,
do something.

Your gardener
is gawking at me.

Hmm?

Um... um, would you...
would you excuse me
a minute?

Uh, there's a wandering Jew
on the terrace

that needs transplanting.

Come here. Sit over here.

Are you insane?
What are you doing out here?

[indistinct]

[Maxwell] Don't you push me.

-Excuse me.
-[Maxwell] Don't you push me.

[C.C.] ...but Margo Lange
is inside.

Of course, I do.

-Oh, hello, Ms. Margo Lange.
-Ms. Fine!

[Fran squeals]

-What are you doing to me?
-I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

-[Margo] Ow!
-Oh, my...

-Stop!
-Oh.

-Oh, my God.
-What are you doing?

Ms. Lange, your famous mole.

-Where is it?
-What?

Here it is.

♪ She was working
In a bridal shop ♪

♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪

♪ Til her boyfriend
Kicked her out ♪

♪ In one of those
Crushing scenes ♪

♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪

♪ She was out on her fanny ♪

♪ So over the bridge
From Flushing ♪

♪ To the Sheffield's door ♪

♪ She was there to sell make-up
But the father saw more ♪

♪ She had style!
She had flair
She was there ♪

♪ That's how she became ♪

♪ The Nanny ♪

♪ Who would have guessed
That the girl we described ♪

♪ Was just exactly
What the doctor prescribed? ♪

♪ Now, the father
Finds her beguiling ♪

♪ Watch out C.C. ♪

♪ And the kids
Are actually smiling ♪

♪ Such joie de vivre ♪

♪ She's the lady in red ♪

♪ When everybody else
Is wearing tan ♪

♪ The flashy girl
From Flushing ♪

♪ The Nanny named Fran! ♪

[on TV]This is Cindy Adams
from New

and have I got dirt for you.

A certain Park Avenue butler
signed a three-million-dollar
book deal

and here's how he did it.

-[Maxwell] Ms. Fine!
-Oh.

[mumbling incoherently]

Would you excuse us, please?

I'd like a word alone
with Ernest.

You had to meet her in person.

My telephoto lens
and parabolic dish weren't
good enough for you.

[inhales]

I'm not going to yell.

I'm not going to scream.

I just want to have
a conversation
like rational, mature adults.

With me?

Now... [clears throat]

we both know what
the most important thing

in a relationship is,
don't we?

Forgiveness?

No. Trust!

Trust is the most
important thing!

Do you realize Margo Lange

has one of the most
recognizable faces in the world
because of that mole?

Can you imagine
what would happen

if word got out
it were fake?

Well, excuse me,

but are you implying
that I cannot keep
this thing a secret?

Oh, come on, Ms. Fine.

The only secret
safe with you is your age.

Barry Scheck and a whole drum
of sodium Pentothal

couldn't drag that out.

Well, I find it very hurtful

that you think that
I have nothing better to do

than to pass idle gossip.

Who cares if her
fakakta mole is a fake?

Big deal.

I was just trying to
lighten up the conversation.

I know you tend to
get nervous when you have
to go to the doctors.

I'm not scared
of the examination.

I'm talking about
getting weighed.

Now, did you write down
all the stuff you ate yesterday
like the doctor asked you to?

Let me see.

Well, you did really well.
I'm proud of you.

Mmm...

Hmm. Look at this.

Oprah gained back
all the weight.

-[gasps]
-Oh, that poor girl.

Oh. Oh, 1989.

Well, look who's on the cover.

Again with her?

So, Margo Lange's mole is fake.

-Who cares?
-Ma.

Who's going to hear?
Liz Smith?

Meanwhile, I had six moles
taken off my back.

You didn't care.
You didn't even send a card.

Excuse me. Do you mind
if I sit here?

-There's a draft.
-No. Not at all.

Meanwhile, you smell delicious.
What have you got on?

Thank you. It's called Gossip.
Take mine.

That's very nice of you.
Thanks.

Don't get too chummy.
You're in a doctor's office.

You never know
what somebody's got.

So tell me, what do you do,
a gorgeous girl like you?

-Act, model, what?
-I'm just a housewife.

-Sylvia, Dr. Hirsch
is ready for you.
-Oh, hi.

-Hi, Estelle.
-Hi, Fran.

-Are you doing okay?
-It's nice to see you again.

Who is that young lady?
She looks so familiar to me.

You know Maxwell Sheffield,
the Broadway producer?

-Yes.
-That's his nanny.
Can you believe?

Five years
she's working for him,
still hasn't proposed.

Ah, can...
Cancel my appointment.

[dialing]

It's Cindy.
Scrap my segment.

I'm reshooting
and I want it on tonight.

Oh, you bet it's big! Ah!

Well, the thing is,
Ma absolutely
has to lose weight,

so we can't keep food
in the house anymore.

Help me scarf back
some of this Godiva.

Fran, you can't control
what your mother eats.

She doesn't live here.

When did she move out?

Mmm. I'm so glad
that I don't have
a weight problem.

I can eat anything I want.

Pizza, ice cream.

You know, me too.
Candy, cake.

-Mmm. Must be in our genes.
-Mmm-hmm.

Meanwhile, when Ma was
your ages, she was thinner
than both of you.

Maxwell! Maxwell!

The Gossip Channel
is going to plug
ourMarie Antoinette

Mazel tov.

Now, Margo is still
willing to do it
despite the incident.

We just have to
keep her real happy.

[man on TV]
In Los Angeles, Rob McCormick
and in New York, Cindy Adams.

Who is that?

-Hmm? Cindy Adams,
the columnist.
-[This is Cindy Adams

-from New York...
-I know her.

[shushing]

Big news from
The Great White Way
involving the latest

from too-handsome-for-words
producer, Maxwell Sheffield.

She's the only columnist
I respect.

Starring in his next outing

is none other than
the queen of the beauty marks,
Margo Lange.

Oh. Oh, now I know
where I know her from.

Well, kiddies,
I've got a little outing
of my own to do.

The mole is fake.

And this comes straight from
Maxwell Sheffield's nanny.

Ms. Fine!

Freeze.

[sighs]

Do you...
Do you hate me?
Is that what it is?

[stammers]
Are you trying to
get back at me

for back-peddling
in our relationship?

-Is that what
this is all about?
-No.

No. No. This is
a personality disorder.

Yeah. It's, uh, you know,

when you watch your mother
fry up your Mr. Potato Head,

it scars you.

You know, you're...
You're my kryptonite,
that's what you are.

You're the only thing
that can hurt me.

Not the critics,
not the actors' union,
not the bloody IRS.

Kryptonite. You mean the stuff
that could hurt Superman...

Who the hell cares
what it is?

-[sighs]
-I'm sorry, Mr. Sheffield.

I was just telling Ma
in confidence.

I mean, who knew that
Cindy Adams was the one

that would give me
this perfume?

Gossip by Cindy Adams.

Ms. Fine, you remember
our conversation about trust?

Yeah. Why?

Well, you realize you and I
cannot have a relationship

if I can't trust you.

And now, it seems
fairly obvious.

I can't.

Meanwhile, I have never seen
Mr. Sheffield so upset.

He was dead serious.
He hates me.

He reviles me.

I wouldn't be surprised
if he never talked to me again.

Oh, this is going to set
the engagement way back.

Has anyone noticed
how I haven't touched the cake?

Yeah, Ma.
You're doing really good.

-I'm so proud of you.
-[Val] Yeah.

-Thank you.
-Meanwhile, Val.

Did you taste these
double-chocolate brownies

stuffed with cheesecake
centers?

Please. I'm still working
on this cannoli.

-It's got chips.
-Let me taste.

-Mmm.
-Huh?

Let me have a knife.

Why, Ma? You're not going
to cheat, are you?

For my wrist.

You know, Sylvia. My mother
joined the Diet Center

and she has lost 120 pounds.

Another 50 and she can start
sleeping upstairs again.

What are you digging for, Ma?

I'm making sure
I remembered my phone.

Sammy's calling me from Florida
and I don't want to miss him.

Oh, I just can't believe
what I did to poor Margo Lange.

There's got to be a way
that I can help Mr. Sheffield
out of this jam.

Well, Fran, why don't you
just go to her
and beg her for mercy?

You know, tell her
what you did to Elton John
and to Elizabeth Taylor.

And to Cher.
And to Bette Midler.

-Lamb Chop.
-See.

Well, this... this would pale
by comparison, really.

Well, if no one is going to have
any more of the cake,
I'm going to put it away.

-Yeah, that's good.
-[Val] Mmm-hmm.

Out of sight, out of mind.

Smart. Yeah, Ma.

Very smart.

-[thud]
-[Fran] Mmm.

Stop her! Stop her!

She's got the cake!
Stop her!

Sometimes, I wonder
where those two nuts came from.

[clinking glass]

Hello?

[doorbell rings]

Magda, ouvrez la porte,
s'il vous plait.

[doorbell continues ringing]

Magda! La porte!

-[doorbell rings again]
-Magda, the dog walker's back!

Good boy, good boy.
Bad boy, bad boy!

[panting]

Well, there's good news
and bad news.

Uh, the good news is,
Booboo did his business.

The bad news is,
he did it in there.

You... You assassin!

Oh, Ms. Lange,
I don't blame you
for being angry at me.

Where's that .45 automatic
Chuck Heston gave me?

Please. If you'll just give me
a minute of your time.

To what? Finish me off?

Okay. Fake, fake, fake,
fake, fake, fake.

Now, get out.

-Ooh. Fake?
-Real.

Oh. That's what fake-fake
will get you.

Oh, Ms. Lange, please.
This is all my fault.

Don't take it out
on Mr. Sheffield
and quit his play.

Do you honestly think
I'm going to show my face
on a Broadway stage?

I won't even leave
this apartment.

Oh, so, what are you gonna do?
Live in exile?

Let the sun shine in.

This is yesterday's news.

Nobody cares about that.

Anyhoo...

You know,
I have this great idea

that would just turn
this whole negative
into a positive.

Oh, please,
please, Ms. Lange.

If you'll just hear me out,
I will do anything.

Fine.
Clean up after the puppy.

Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
do I have exciting
news for you.

I know. I know.
I just got off the phone
with Margo.

She's back in my show.

Now, how on earth
did you do it?

Oh, well,
Margo swore me to secrecy.

You know,
one slip of the tongue
can ruin it.

I cannot speak to
a living soul about it.

Well, wait, wait, are you...
Are you telling me
you don't trust me?

I thought we had
a relationship.

Oh, now, wait a minute.
Let me get this straight.

We've got a relationship,
but only when it's
convenient for you?

I can live with that.

Let me tell you. Here it is.

We are going to market
artificial Margo Lange
beauty marks

and sell it on the Internet.

Oh, come on, come on.
You can tell me.

That's it.

And I thought of it
all by myself.

-That I believe.
-Stop it.

Look at you with your big head,
sitting around drooling.

Put a toupee on you,
you could be my father.

You know, Margo,
I don't like kids
any more than you do,

but it's history.

Marie and Louis
had two children.

We can't just get rid of them.

What about a plague?
Weren't there plagues
back then?

Ooh.

Hey, partner. I've got
some great marketing ideas
to run by ya.

Oh, marketing ideas?
Didn't you read this morning's
Wall Street Journal?

No, but how funny
was "The Wizard of Id"
this morning?

My dear, Coty came out
with a fake beauty mark.

Someone stole our idea.

Oh, no.

You mean there's a mole
in our mole organization?

Those are the breaks, darling.

So you mean, that's it?

All our hopes and dreams
just went down the drain?

Well, just yours.

I'm up for the role
of Succubus Queen

onXena: Warrior Princess.

-Uh, Niles.
-Mmm-hmm.

Where's Ms. Fine?

She hasn't been
out of her room all day.

Poor thing's been
going out of her mind,

trying to decide who blabbed
and sabotaged her dream.

-What's that? For whom?
-Soup. Ms. Fine.

-Where did you get it?
-I made it.

You blabbed, didn't you?

Oh, Niles, I was...

I was at the Friars Club
with Mel Brooks
and Carl Reiner.

They're so bloody funny.

I was desperate
for an amusing anecdote.

Hmm. So you're sitting
with the men

who wrote the classic
2000 Year Old Man

and you tried to wow them
with the mole story.

Oh, all right, all right.
Just drop it,
would you, Niles?

What am I going to do about it?
This was her dream, Niles.

She was so excited about
this cosmetics business

and I went and ruined
the whole thing
by opening my big mouth.

Oh, there's no way
I can make this up to her.

Well, you could propose.

Oh, would you
get serious, Niles?

Just get off that track,
would you?

And finally,
once in your life,

come up with something
I could actually use.

[Niles] Hmm.

Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
I'm so miserable.

I keep trying to think.

Who? Who would do this to me?

-Marry me?
-It was you?

You blabbed and you think
that by proposing,
it's going to make up for it?

Well, you thought right, baby.

-Oh, Niles,
wait till you hear.
-I heard.

-Oh, talk about fate.
-[chuckles]

I mean, if I hadn't washed off
Margo Lange's mole,

we never would have
gone into business together,

Mr. Sheffield never
would have blabbed
and he never would have...

-He never would have...
-What?

Oh, Niles.

Who am I kidding here?

I don't want a proposal
from a man out of guilt.

Oh, God, 12 generations of
Fine women just rolled over.

Oh, but that's no way for us
to start our lives together.

But I don't understand.
Isn't this what
you've been working for?

It is, isn't it?

Oh, but I want him
to ask me because

he can't imagine
his life without me.

'Cause he really means it.

I kind of think I...
deserve that.

So, you're actually going
to let him out of it?

-Yeah, I am.
-Oh. [chuckles]

Oh, boy. Have I come
a long way, huh?

[both chuckle]

There you are.

Come on, Niles,
why don't you crack open
a bottle of champagne?

Let's... let's celebrate.

Hmm? Oh, you mean
that proposal out there?

I didn't take that seriously.

I just wanted
to see you sweat.

Wh... What?

You know,
you should have seen

the look on your face
when I said yes.

It's just about as good as
the look on Ma's face
when I tell her I said no.

Uh, why don't we just forget
the whole thing
ever happened, huh?

[Maxwell] Mmm.

Well, once again, you managed
to get yourself out of it.

Yes.

Only this time,
I'm not quite sure
I really wanted to.

You're doing so good
with your diet.

Yeah, Sylvia. I gotta say,
I'm impressed.

Thank you. [chuckles]

[theme music playing]

[theme music ends]