All language subtitles for Self-Portrait.Of.A.Dutiful.Daughter.2015.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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A MANDRAGORA Production

With the participation of

Hold on.

Are you coming in?

-Anyone I should know?
-No idea. Should you?

Hold on, move for a second. Sorry.

-New boyfriend?
-No, it's the guy from the grocery store.

He's making an extra buck
to move in with his girl.

My share of charity.

-Having trouble sleeping again?
-Yeah.

I even took some Xanax,
it didn't do anything.

I don't know what's wrong with me.

This time I took a dose and a half,
still nothing.

Hand me those pillows.

There you go.

Listen...

since you're such a master of sex...

Teacher of sex.

I've been thinking and I'm too embarrassed
to ask anyone else.

Ok, go on...

Why do you think
Romanian expletives refer to oral sex?

-Like "suck my cock"?
-Yes...

Because most Romanian
coarse language is very macho.

"Suck my cock",
"fuck your face off"...

But why use such prejudice
on something considered pleasant?

Pleasant for guys,
most women would say it's humiliating.

Take my mom, for her it's a taboo.

-How do you know this?
-My dad told me.

How come?

When I told him I'm gay,

he said my mom wouldn't suck him off,
so he started cheating.

Jeez, that really sucks!

So I told my mom to give him a blowjob
or he'll leave her.

She didn't talk to me for six months.
Grab that.

I don't blame her.

-Can you finish this for me?
-Yeah.

Afraid the grocery guy
will steal your ideas?

That's right.

Do you want
to have a baby with me?

No!

-What do you mean, no?
-No! What's the matter with you?

-You don't like how I look?
-What's that got to do with it?

There are other ways, you know,
we don't have to fuck.

I know. I'd like this kid thing too,
at some point...

Someday, but definitely not now.

All buildings,
during a major earthquake,

exhibit excursions
in the nonlinear range.

Thus, to partially disperse the energy,

structures will get
permanent deformations.

It is very difficult
to map all those deformations

since the earthquake-induced
deformations are spatial.

Though it is very difficult to measure
the actual 3D deformations of a building.

With the present measurement
instruments, it could be done.

The structure's spatial behavior seems
to be more difficult when modeling

in an engineering software
or seismic building design and,

consequently, it is more difficult

to get reliable results
for the building seismic deformation.

We also might try to use specialized,
elaborate research software,

but it would take too long.

We would only be able to design
one building before retirement.

So it is common to link
our engineering knowledge,

the experience provided
by previous seismic events,

and the standard advanced
software for practical seismic design.

One more thing.

You might already know this:

The structure might lose
10 to 30% of its initial stiffness.

This means

the structure loses
10 to 30% of its seismic strength.

For that reason, it is good

to have a fingerprint
of the dynamic characteristic

of the structure
at the moment it was built.

Consequently, after an earthquake
we might appreciate

if the structure lost 5, 10, 15 or 30%
of its initial characteristics.

Then we can decide
a ranking of the structures

and the priority
of the needed strengthening.

This is an extremely important topic.

Speaking of steel building structures
designed for civil utility...

We've discussed the new steel structure
on Victoria Avenue.

Can you think of any others?

I guess I was stupid.
We would've been here by now.

Aren't you putting those in the washer?

Let me have a smoke first.

I'll give you money,
go get your own.

Later...

-Looks rather ordinary.
-Oh, really?

-You know I tell it as it is.
-It's a very handsome dog!

You like it 'cause it's plump like you.
When you were chubby.

Idiot!

Alex, why don't you like the dog?

There's nothing special about it.

Objectively speaking,
it's a beautiful dog.

What do you mean, objectively?

Based on aesthetic criteria.

-For dogs?
-Yes, beauty standards for dogs.

What standards?
Are they written somewhere?

For people
there are definite rules.

-These rules change with the times.
-You are also right.

Fine, get a Pekingese,
see if it wins any competition.

Okay, give me an example.

What example?

A good looking person,
by your standards.

Romanian?

Any nation. Some TV star.

The one Romanian star I like
is Monica Columbeanu.

Come on.

She may be stupid,
but she looks perfect.

-You really like her?
-Only aesthetically.

Aesthetically? She's a dumb slut!

Now it depends...

Compared to an international model,
she's a cheap whore.

But among her own kind,
she might be...

I match her with my standards,
which are also yours.

Not necessarily,
and I don't think you're right.

-What do you mean?
-You're taking things out of context.

I'm not lowering my standards to her.

Since you have something
to say about her, I think you are.

I'm not.

And why are we taking the TV
as reference?

So that we're all on the same page.

I can't be on the same page,
'cause I don't watch TV.

But you do keep up though...

I haven't watched TV in 7 years.

But she does, and she likes Monica,
because everyone does.

-How do you know her, then?
-From TV, where else?

You see?

I'm strictly referring to her body.
Her proportions are perfect!

You're only reduced to your body
when you're dead.

She'd make a gorgeous corpse.

Besides, any happy woman is beautiful.
You don't agree with this, either?

I don't! No amount of happiness
can fix a big nose.

No, I mean objectively,
Monica Columbeanu is beautiful.

Objectively, things are relative.

Show me a man
who wouldn't fuck her.

Show me a man
who wouldn't fuck any woman.

But if he could choose,
he would choose her, obviously!

-All this sounds so trite.
-But very objectively so.

-Of course I prefer a lean, fresh steak.
-Why wouldn't you?

I think what attracts a man,
despite this physical attraction cliché...

Is his blood alcohol!

Michelle doesn't believe
physical attraction is also psychological.

-I think so.
-Yes, but we're not talking psychology.

-Monica is beautiful. Period.
-Monica is a whore. Period.

-Go get your own cigarettes.
-You envy her.

Good evening!

We would like to ask you a question.

Do you think
the Bible was inspired by God?

-I don't care.
-We would like to have a...

-No, thank you.
-Do you think Jesus...

Back in the day, let me tell you...

There were rockers, rappers,
and Depeche Mode fans.

Depeche Mode, yes!

You could only be one of those.

Man, you know what the deal is?

Once I was in university.
none of those things mattered.

Mister, I'm from Buzau.

Let's take action in highschool
and middle school.

Kids just skip physical education.

Remember back in '92 or '93,
when we played football wherever?

-So true!
-The girls were playing jump rope...

Yeah, jump rope!
Tag and chase!

The Double Dutch in jump rope
meant you were in love!

-Lights off, a reminder of Communism.
-You said you'd be back early...

I'm on Central European time zone.

Cristiana is in a rush, as well.

Wait till she sees
the presents I got for her.

She won't be rushing,
she won't want to leave anymore.

You will see.
Here! From the first try!

Look at all these presents
waiting for you, Cristiana!

Thank you.

You're welcome!

Let me take this off.
It's so hot in here.

Also some chocolates for you.
Superior quality!

Viennese chocolates... from Paris.

English whisky... from Paris.

Did you take you cholesterol pills?

This smoky whisky will do!
No need for cholesterol medication.

Now let me show you
what I got for myself.

We begin with the... best present ever!

The best present ever.

I bet nobody in this country
has ever thought about this before.

Everybody exports...
steals iron from Romania.

-What is this rubbish?
-I brought iron back home!

18th century fireplace screen.

There isn't a single empty spot left
and you keep bringing things.

Bought at Porte de Clignancourt...

The customs officer asked:
“What is that?”

“Fireplace screen.”
“Please pass!”

-What can I do with it?
-They were very pleased.

What can you do with it?

You look at it to your heart's content!

I don't think so.

-And now...
-What good is it?

What good?
It protects you against evil eye!

Now, something I see you're short of.

Thank you, I love it!

The color's perfect, too!

You're welcome! Very beautiful...

I got it from a shop window
on St. Germain.

Off the mannequin,
not from the shelf.

Cristiana wants to get a dog.

Mom, stop it, you promised!

From a shop window or from a shelf?

From a store.

-What store?
-A pet shop, I suppose.

Where exactly, though?

Why does this matter?

-It does, just like buying clothes.
-I want to get a dog and I will.

Listen, figure things out first...

Don't you worry, I'll be fine!

I don't think it's that easy.

-A dog on the 10th floor...
-How big is it?

Let's see
if she is familiar with the topic.

How big?

A Bernese mountain dog.
That's big!

How about a five-year old one?

Yes.

-She means large.
-Where do you find this breed?

I'm going to bed,
please turn down the TV.

-I'm not turning anything down.
-Bye!

Before you buy a dog,
you have to do some extensive research.

I did it already!
It's a very intelligent, beautiful dog.

Show me your references.

You're not buying it, I am.

I will be the one looking after it,
paying for it.

-No, the dog will be at my place.
-But I am the one paying the utilities.

-Who said you have to pay for it?
-Otherwise you will starve to death...

I have my Ph.D. grant.

That only covers
your mobile phone bills...

It's not even enough for the utilities.

Don't worry, I'll manage.

On tap water, nevertheless!
And crackers.

That's it, I'm sorry.

No, it's practically stupid.

You want it to protect you
from stray dogs?

My neighborhood is full of strays.

-That's why you want it?
-That too.

And because it's a beautiful dog.

All I wanted as a child was a dog
and you always said no.

So now I can finally do that.

Some people who drive BMWs
also have bicycles,

which they buy only because
they couldn't afford one as children.

There you go...

Following this logic,
you should buy the dog now,

so you don't do it in your old age.

Something like this.

But your house will only be
as clean as your dog.

I'll clean up, no need to worry.
It'll be okay.

It will shed all over, it will smell.

-You won't get the dog smell out.
-A lot of people have dogs!

Yeah, and they all smell.

-They all smell like their dogs.
-Nonsense.

I think there are two kinds of people.

You can't like both cats and dogs.

The same applies to sweets:

if you like chocolate,
you can't love fruits, right?

Why not? I like both fruit
and chocolate cake,

as long as they are from Paul's Bakery.

Hello!

Hello!

-When did you buy this one?
-I didn't!

Return it right away!

Why?

Because it's not right!

The petshop has plenty of money.

Michelle, it doesn't matter!

Really, they won't even know
it's missing.

That poor salesgirl
will have to pay for it.

That poor, thin girl?

You're overreacting as usual!

You were the one
who said it's too expensive

and it's not worth the price.

Turn around.
We're going to take it back.

-I can't turn around here...
-Don't even think about it!

Ok, then I'll go pay for it.

I'm not letting you!

-What do you mean?
-It's not yours.

If you turn the car, I'll get out.

Turn around here,
in the intersection.

-Give it to me!
-It disappeared!

This GPS is crap,
it locates us at Piata Natiunilor

and we're nowhere near.

Luckily I was the first in my class
in Geography.

In the Baccalaureate written exam,
I mean it.

I'm really proud of that!

I wanted to tell Mrs. Dobrin, too.

Mrs. Dobrin from Braila, the manager...

Guess what her background is?

Geography teacher!
I wanted to tell her: "Lady,

I was first in my class in Geography!”
But I didn't get the chance.

Sorry to wake you up,
but I really had nowhere else to go!

I haven't had anything to eat
since yesterday noon!

What are you going to do
if they still don't pay you?

I wouldn't mind a job
at the grocery store.

Alex, you should look into getting
a real job, at least for a while.

I don't want to be humiliated in my trade.
I'd rather work in another field.

For a while at least!

I'm sick of doing
every asshole's hard work

while they sign my projects
and get the recognition!

What, you're playing doctor again?

I don't think you know
what retail work means

and how little it pays.

I worked as a bartender
when I was 18.

Yeah, but you were abroad.

It's much harder than in Romania.
Much harder.

It's such a bad deal,
buying apartments on this boulevard!

That building has not been
adequately strengthened.

Do you know
what the seismic risk in the US is?

Not off the top of my head.

Give me a guesstimate.

8 degrees of seismic intensity?

US buildings are designed to resist
the strongest earthquake in 2500 years.

Religious paintings should hang
only on eastern walls.

I know, but I don't care.

It's for worship, not decoration.

I see it as a piece of art,

so I can hang it
wherever I think it looks nice.

It looks just as nice here,
where it belongs.

I want to hang something
from my grandmother over there.

I just think it's lame
to disrespect a Christian object.

"Urgent, text me cubism!"

What are you doing?

-I was gonna text from your phone.
-That's not ok at all.

Sorry, I thought you had free texts.

Not the phone, silly!
Her cheating on her exam.

She should...

My dad will kill me!

And it's all your fault!

Me? What did I do?

Distracting me with shit!
Michelle and her art history exam...

Maybe you can glue it back?

My dad will never believe
this was an accident.

He'll say it must have been
my fault for not being careful.

No, I can't, I'm expecting Dan.

Are you nuts?
I told you Dan is coming.

I'll call you later. Bye, Alex.

I don't care what you're saying.

It's none of my business.

Listen, do your job! That's all!

And stop bothering me with your crap.

Do that!

Do your job!

Okay.

Isn't this place too big for you?

I'm glad it's all mine now.
We can see each other more often.

You think we're not
seeing each other enough?

I'm thinking of getting a dog,
but this breed I found...

Well, I haven't yet,
I'm still looking for it...

Your grandmother?

My aunt on my mother's side.

She was a very beautiful woman,
she was 98 when she died.

I don't like beautiful women.

It's pretty cool
that they named you Cristiana.

It sounds a bit masculine,
but I like it. A lot.

It suits you.

-Would you like some cake?
-No, I'm fine.

Did you make it?

I can't cook.

But I shopped there before,
it's a great bakery.

I'm allergic to chocolate.

This used to be my room.

When I was in high school
I would sit here and smoke.

Do you like to suck my cock?

Tell me, do you?

...compared to the West.

You're pleading
for preserving Bucharest's identity.

Exactly!

Which shouldn't be mangled by...

Yeah, from this perspective, Bucharest is
a unique synthesis between East and West.

What perspective?

They are the ones ruining it.

Bucharest was damaged
a lot more after '89,

worse than anything Ceausescu did.

-Unbelievable!
-Not quantitatively, but qualitatively.

Ceausescu wiped out some neighborhoods,
while leaving others intact.

Are you saying Ceausescu purposefully
preserved some neighborhoods?

"The Ballad of the Ship" features
autumn-themed decorations.

We're not interested!

-Yes you are, please be nice.
-We don't care. At all.

You can do as you please.

Of course I'll do as I please,
we've been friends for ages.

-I will yell!
-Oh, please.

"Homesick, as we all were,
We set foot on foreign shore.

Being emigrants, they asked
For to see our papers fast.

To the questions they inquired,
We all said what we desired:

Any labor we may find,
Paid in money or in kind.

Be it labor or plain slavery,
We will do it all with bravery.

Be it rainy, be it sunny,
If it shines, it must be money.

Big fat lie on old Joe's tongue..."

Hello!

Oh, my dear girl!

"Of America's good will,
Dreams of plenty, what a thrill!"

Honey-bunny!
I'm so happy to see you!

-And so on.
-Hey, hey!

-Brilliant!
-Look who's here!

-Hello!
-Hello!

-My wife, Madalina.
-Cristiana Apostol.

Transylvanian emigrants' testimonies,

mailed back from Youngstown, Ohio.

-Enough now.
-On March 1st, 1907.

Don't you want to eat?

Yes, but I'd like some water first.

Written by Dumitru Dragomir.

How can you serve water
in plastic bottles?

-It's imported from America.
-By ship!

All the antioxidants
in the water get spoiled.

Listen to this!

I'll tell you how transportation
works in America.

No! Please let's talk about food instead,
it's much more interesting.

I don't want to know about that.

-Hold on...
-Plastic water!

A man who leaves his country
has two motherlands.

-The new and the old motherland.
-Vera, should I bring more food?

-Yes, please.
-The new and the old.

This is how they used
to talk back in 1900.

Emigrants today
have only one motherland.

We all have
the same motherland.

Because we live in a time when
globalization has become the standard

and there's no such thing
as one motherland.

Motherland is where
you feel accomplished...

Right. Keep blabbering away...

Vera von Deutschland!

You don't get it at all!

If you will please listen...

"Our compatriots living here in America
endure great adversity.

Especially when they bring
their relatives and friends over."

-Poor people...
-Let's wrap this up, please.

"If you send them money
to buy ship tickets..."

Those were the times...

It's a matter of nuance!

They used to have
this exceptional saying...

but it slips my mind right now.

My only classmate who used to draw...

-Kindergarten classmate.
-He used those Czech crayons, Hardmuth.

He smeared the color with a cotton ball,
to make a pastel.

-I used to do that, too.
-Now everyone says they did...

Ladies, when I was little,
only Vladi was doing it.

-Now everyone claims they used to do it.
-Well, they did.

Didn't we draw maps in Geography,
using cotton balls just like that?

And you shouldn't argue
with what your wife says.

Have you ever heard me
disagree with her?

No, God forbid!

Thank God I'm here so you
have someone to argue with.

Sublime! To your health!
As we say: "May we be loved!"

-May we all be loved!
-Yes, Vera, may we be loved.

-Thank you!
-Cheers!

-I'm out of wine!
-Dan's glass is empty!

-And you're nodding off there.
-The young drink so fast...

Cristiana, just a sip!
So that we may be loved!

-Pour Cristiana some wine.
-For good luck with her exams.

-Please, just a sip...
-Stop, please, I'm good.

-She doesn't want any.
-But you do want to be loved?

Okay then.

Professor, some more?

Don't mind if I do.

Cristiana,
you must feel a bit pressured...

Since your parents
are such good psychos...

Psychologists! I meant psychologists!

-Maybe she meant psychics!
-No, I meant...

We are good psychologists.

-I meant psychologists...
-Aren't all parents?

So they over-analyse all you do,

and here I come from overseas
to nag you.

-No, you're very sweet.
-But sometimes I can be a pain.

I could argue with them non-stop.

-You really don't mind?
-Of course not.

You're a sweetheart.
I love you.

-Here.
-I've lived to see this!

So, may we all be loved.
You're an angel!

It is important to note that the current
structural analysis methods

cannot adequately predict
the real seismic impact on buildings.

What we do is
we fix the building foundation,

while the earthquake
might act at every floor

with a force equal to the product of
floor mass and its seismic acceleration.

In fact, as everybody felt
during the past few weeks,

it's the foundation that moves.

So we have displacement of the foundation,
not forces at various levels.

Afterwards, due to inertia
of the superstructure masses,

the foundation starts to move
in various directions,

thus inducing deformation
under constant exertion,

plastic hinges into the structure
and remanent deformation

as well as everything
we feel when earthquake acts.

How can you say she's super-thin?

-Does she look fat to you?
-No, but she's not skinny either.

Well, I like her...

She's a beautiful woman.

I didn't say she's not good looking,
just not dead skinny.

Do you have it in Romanian?

I think she's hotter than me.

Sexier.

Then maybe you should be flattered
that he has a sexy wife.

Hey, is pumpkin a fruit or a vegetable?

Stop it with your
weight loss obsession already!

See, Dan doesn't even mind
that I put on some weight.

Lame.

Meaning?

Meaning he obviously
just wants to fuck.

And why do you think that?

If he doesn't even mind your looks,
it means he'd do it with anyone.

Aren't you trying too hard
to please others?

What do you mean?

You're dying to be thin
just to look good to others.

Totally untrue,
I just want to look good. Period.

-Yes, but what for?
-For aesthetics.

Beautiful people are important
and everybody likes them.

I think you're happier when you love
than when you're being loved.

Where does this come from?

I've decided
to be superficial for a while.

I've been deep long enough.

I certainly don't want
to end up like you.

Superficial and mean, too.

Frankly, I could never do what you do.

Loving someone
knowing he'll never be mine.

What if you had to choose?

Either be the most beautiful woman
in the world,

or have all the men
in the world want you?

Be the most beautiful, duh!

Hello.

No, I'm fine.

And what are you doing now?

If you want to meet
you can drop by.

Afterwards...

I mean if you're not too tired.

All right. Bye-bye.

-I heard that...
-Yes, right.

Ok. I love you.

I heard you can't get
this breed in Bucharest.

We got ours from someone
who brought him from Slovenia.

Are you Slovenian?

And you understand Romanian?

You have to be careful who you buy from.
Our seller had three more puppies.

The takers couldn't afford them,
so they bought theirs from Arad.

And now one got sick,

and the other two have health issues,

but it's too late to complain.

And where do you keep him?
I heard he needs a lot of space.

Not really! The place he grew up

was no bigger than my mom's apartment,
except with grass.

Doesn't he get real hot
during the summer?

Air conditioning.

-I heard it's not that good for them.
-No shit!

I cleaned all the filters,
turned up the AC

to 23 -24ºC, not quite 35,
since we're on the top floor.

I live on the tenth floor as well.

You know what?

You could order one
from France or Germany.

It'll cost about the same, 1000 euros.
Transport included.

I think it's the safest choice.

Thanks so much.

Bernie, do we kiss the lady goodbye?

Come, boy!

Bye-bye!

Thank you!

-Cristiana!
-Yes.

-Come here, please.
-Just a second.

Here's an exceptional newspaper.

In 1847, in Bucharest, "Vestitorul”
issued an official account

of the biggest fire
ever recorded in Bucharest.

It has nothing to do with earthquakes!

It has a lot to do,

since every city inventoried buildings
damaged by natural hazards:

earthquakes, floods, fires and so on.

I don't care.
I don't deal with floods.

-Suit yourself.
-I'm studying safety engineering.

-Safety against what?
-Whatever. How much is it anyway?

It's around 250 euros.

250? Are you kidding me?

-It's an unknown document...
-Well, quality things are expensive.

...first edition,
a gem for any Ph.D. paper.

Oh, well.

I'm excited I finally found
the dog I was looking for.

-The dog?
-Yes.

I have one problem though, money.

How much is it?

A lot.

How much?

A thousand.

A thousand lei?

No, a thousand euros.

A thousand euros?

-For a dog?
-Yes.

You're paying even more
for all sorts of stuff around here...

Doctor, I found the Atlas for you.

I promised I would and I did.
Look at this.

-This is the proof.
-Indeed.

The last map...

In 1808, when this was published,

it shows Louisiana as belonging
to the recently established US.

During Napoleon.

I'm not sure when that happened,
but I can find out.

-During Napoleon.
-Yes, certainly.

Long live France!

I can go make sure.

Please do check,
I'm curious about the context.

You'd pay 1000 euros for this,
but not for a dog?

It's worth several thousands,
it's a rarity.

It's amongst
the earliest lithographed atlases.

It covers the entire chronologic,
geographic and genealogic history

of all European states and beyond.
It doesn't bear comparison.

Listen, maybe you could
lend me the money

and I could pay you back.

First, I am not certain
that this is our priority, buying a dog.

And yours in particular.

-You need to finish your Ph.D...
-It has nothing to do with it!

You have to get a job
and start to make a living.

It's the most beautiful dog.

You can get
the best dog in the Universe

once you're done with
the other priorities. No sooner.

I think you misunderstood.
Think about it as a loan

that I'd pay back in installments,
from my Ph.D. grant.

First, I'm in a lot of debt right now.
Second, the dog is not a priority.

Come on, you're not in debt!

I'm not getting into that.
And the very fact that you don't know

points to the gap between reality and...

Ok. I'll sell something
from the house.

Sell what?

A painting.
You have enough already, right?

A painting?

The frames, maybe,
or the passe-partouts.

Who's that?

I'm not answering anyway.

It couldn't be for me.

How do you know?
Maybe it's your mom.

No one comes here
without calling first.

Just go see who that is.

I told you it was no one.

Nobody comes here unannounced.

I like how you decorated your place
better than your dad's.

His is too crowded,
you can't see anything.

We just had an argument about this.

I asked him for some money
to get a dog and he said no.

So I said I'd sell one of his paintings,
which obviously was a lie.

What annoys me is
that it's not about money for him.

He refuses to give me 1000 euros
because this dog is of no interest to him.

Why would you pay 1000 euros
for a dog?

He's just paid that much
for a Chinese barber chair.

Why do you think that's worth more
than a Bernese mountain dog?

So you want to get a Bernese?

Why, you don't like them?

They are beautiful.

I also think it's a lot,
but that's how much they cost.

Stop being silly!

The head of Oncology
has a dog like that.

What's up, doc?

Oh, you are? Me too.

Tell me, honey,
that mountain dog of yours...

I see.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Yes, go on...

Of course, get real! No problem.

Yes, but send him tomorrow,
today I'm off.

No.

Ok. Take care.

Bye!

I'm sorry,
her dog died of cancer this summer.

They say this breed
has a short life span.

Do your research.

And stop smoking so much!

Who is this for?

It's for me.

What do you need it for?

From time to time I have insomnia.

And now you tell me this?

It's nothing serious,
I just can't sleep.

We talk nonsense all the time,
and you keep this to yourself.

It wasn't on purpose, sorry.

Yes, it was.

This is the way you are.

You waste time with crap
and ignore the important things!

Cat got your tongue?

-What, you don't agree?
-I do.

Then?

I don't know what to say...

I think you're right, but how
do I change things for the better?

Why can't you sleep?

I don't know.

The harder I try to fall asleep,
the more frustrated I get and I fail.

It's because you worry about crap.

Relax, damn it!

You can't just ask somebody to relax,
and expect them to do so!

It's like asking them to love you less,
that's impossible.

What kind of insomnia
are you experiencing?

The normal kind.

Difficulty falling asleep
or staying asleep? Any nightmares?

I can't fall asleep.

Xanax is a serious treatment,
you don't pop pills randomly.

Who told you to take anxiety medication?

-Alex told me.
-Who the fuck is Alex?

-He's a friend.
-Are you screwing him?

He's gay.

Speaking of dogs,
something awful happened today.

There's a stray dog
outside my grandpa's building.

I walked out while he was eating,
and he jumped to bite my junk!

-No way!
-Stop laughing, it really sucked!

What would you do:
would you get the dog or not?

-I'd get a turtle.
-What would I do with that?

Galapagos turtles are known
to live up to 200 years.

-Well, I'm not going to live that long.
-That's the point.

It seems more fucked up this way.

You sound so selfish.

Aren't we all?

I mean it's the one left behind
who suffers, not the dead one.

If you're afraid of your own suffering,
it sucks even more.

Alex, it's perfectly natural
to suffer when somebody dies.

Isn't that nonsense?

Of course,
I was just telling you the reasons,

or at least what I think they are.

Are you smoking?

Just lit one.

Now I'm craving one...
I haven't smoked since morning.

I can give you some money
to buy a pack.

Can't be bothered. But if you could,

I'd need two mil'
for blood tests tomorrow.

Something wrong?

It's for the visa. You have to get tested
for chlamydia, gonorrhea...

-But AIDS is fine.
-Wait, you're going to America?

In January, haven't I told you?
Oh, I haven't.

Yeah, so I'm thinking in January.

How long?

My mom asked me to come,
because they don't have any...

They've lost touch with people here,
so they have no connections.

For how long?

Once I apply for citizenship,
I can't leave the country for five years.

Going back.

I could adopt
an anti-Darwinistic approach

and get the dog to help
a genetically challenged breed, right?

-Bullshit!
-Why?

Because seven years
still seem too short.

"The most admirable
among the admirable laws of Nature

is the survival of the weakest."

If you had gotten the dog when we met,
it would be dead now.

I think your decision sucks!

You suck for going away
and leaving me alone!

Listen, this country won't ever change!

It doesn't seem fair.

Ouch, you're worse than a wife...

Don't you think friendship involves
certain obligations?

I don't believe in obligations.
I am a free man.

Alex, in a friendship
you give in order to receive.

-And I don't mean money.
-So friendship is a barter?

I said I don't mean money.

An emotional barter then?

There is no such thing
as unconditional love.

It means the two of us
are different, then.

Different, indeed!

Don't you find something erotic
in these arguments?

What?

-They feel sexually charged to me.
-No way!

Keep your coat on!

Why?

We've all been invited to Dan Ionescu.

-How come I wasn't told?
-I'm telling you now.

I could've stayed home with my friends.

-So now we shouldn't go either?
-I'm not going anywhere.

Please call Dan and tell him
that we're all staying home.

Nonsense!
Just go and leave me alone.

-Don't use that tone with me.
-Easy now.

Oh, so now
you're the one getting upset?

Settle down.

So he invited all three of us.
Am I right?

He did. So we should all go.

I'm not going anywhere
on my birthday.

I see your point.

But rather than being
all alone on your birthday,

you can come to Dan Ionescu.

No, I'm staying home.

-Oh, come on.
-Leave it, Serban.

Let her stay then. We should go.

No, why? I want her to come along.
Better than staying home alone.

Between pointlessly going to Dan
and pointlessly staying home...

I'm pointlessly staying home.

-Just leave her alone!
-Yes, go.

-So you're not coming?
-No.

-How about presents?
-No.

-Something under the tree?
-Don't need it.

Not interested?

I'll check later.

-There's food in the refrigerator.
-As Grandpa used to say.

"Vederemus." We will see.

Please reheat it in the oven,
not in the microwave. Bye!

Can you talk?

Yes, they left...

I don't know, they'll be there soon.

I wanted to say I'm not coming.

Starting today,
I don't want to see you anymore.

No, I just think it's for the best.

No reason, nothing happened.

Just stop calling me, please.
I had the guts to tell you this now,

but please don't call,
because I'll be tempted to answer.

Self-Portrait of a Dutiful Daughter

A film by Ana Lungu

So I lay down on the bed,
and then the phone rings...

-He means the hotel line.
-Of course.

-“Who's there?” I say.
-I can't find my phone.

Want me to call you?

I don't know where mine is either.

So I answer the phone.

The receptionist goes:

-07... 2...
-"Hello? Hello?"

We were in a hotel in Braila.

I say “Yes?" and she says:

-"There's a girl looking for you."
-...725.

So now I'm dying to know
who this chick was, right?

"Who is she?"
"Michelle!

Michelle, a friend of yours."

I run downstairs and there she is.

-The theatre was locked up.
-Is it on silent mode?

And she was left there waiting.

Meanwhile she forgot
she was angry.

Found.

She forgot she was angry,
came back sheepishly

and said:
"The doorman locked me out.

And I have nowhere to sleep."

So we went back together
and made up on the way there.

And that was it.

I think my phone was dead.
That's why I had to go back.

So we honked like crazy
to wake up the doorman.

Finally, she managed to get in.

Just to show how a nasty argument
can just go poof.

This was "truth".

Radu, your turn, truth or dare?

Dare... Truth!

Dare to tell the truth.

"And there was silence..."

Don't know what to say.
Someone, help...

Say something you'd be embarrassed
to tell your mom.

-Something you know is true.
-Something true?

Well, I....

I jerked off
when she was at home.

Ok!

You weren't thinking about her,
were you?

God, no! That grossed me out!

But I still wouldn't tell her about it.

I bet she wouldn't be surprised.

"Radu, what are you
doing in the bathroom?"

"Well, mom...

I'm putting my make up on."

-Tell me!
-Was it ok?

Perfect score!

I wasn't asking for a grade.

Cristiana!

Truth or dare?

-Dare.
-Also perfect score!

I‘m fed up with truth tonight!

Are you up to...

reciting us something?

-A poem?
-Or she could sing us something.

Yes, better like that.

-Singing?
-Yeah. Are you up to it?

No, not really.

Sing us a poem.

No. Something else.

-No, I'm set on this one.
-Come on!

You could make something up.

Something about us, tonight.

Some trashy song.

No, just sing whatever!

Ok, but I'll sing a short one.

Ok.

There's that song you liked...

Ada Milea's song.

But you didn't make that up.

-I can't make it up.
-"Loser."

-Fine.
-It's my favorite song from her.

It's hard to pull an Ada Milea cover.
She's so strange.

I suck at this anyway.

Give it a try!

Give the girl a beat.

Daddy, school's gone, bye-bye!

Where should your lil' girl go?
Daddy's slutty loser?

Daddy, school's gone, bye-bye!

Someone, help!

Daddy's girl will die!

Or she'll marry a farmer

She'll ride a tractor to the Promised Land
Daddy's tractor-driving princess

Was that right?

Tractor-driving princess?

-That's it.
-Epic.

-Ada Milea does it better.
-I don't like these dares.

She's right.
Truths are more fun than dares.

Sing us some Ada Milea.
Just kidding.

Truth, then.

If you made a pact with the devil,

to erase one sin from your life,

a sin by your definition,
not by others',

something you consider wrong
and you're remorseful about,

something that you could erase
in this life with the devil's help,

what would that be?

I don't know, I wish
that God would choose my greatest sin.

-Otherwise...
-Let's stay on the devil narrative.

So the devil would forgive my sin?

He will let one pass.

If you met him.

Maybe if you met God,
he'd forgive all your sins.

Pick one sin.

I knew it!
She doesn't have any sins!

She's immaculate!

There's this thing from a while ago.

Let's not go into details though...

You don't have to.

I felt like someone
was causing me a lot of harm,

but in the end I realized it was me,
I was causing it.

What do you mean?

You were causing harm?

-No, I thought the person was harming me.
-You had sinful thoughts.

And because I kept thinking that,
I ended up believing it.

Though it wasn't true.

It wasn't that serious anyway.
It's just proof that you can be wrong.

I don't think this is worthy
of a pact with the devil.

At least you were honest.
Ok, your turn.

Cristiana, dare Radu to do something.

-A dare without warning...
-Dare me!

-Dare me!
-I dare you!

Let's go fuck, Radu.

Ok...

Is this from the devil or from God?

Come on.

Can I join you with my phone?

This game has reached new levels!

Is it a joke or what?

-Of course.
-Okay.

-No, you should go!
-What?

-Or you go, as a joke.
-Sounds good.

She dared him, not me.

Istvan, go take a photo of something.

Cristiana?

Let's go on with the game.

What are you doing there?

-Should we act like in Eyes Wide Shut?
-I don't know.

You and your game ideas.

When she comes back,
let's pretend we're all fucking.

Figuratively, ironically fucking.

We could surprise her with an orgy.

For your great ideas
and your wonderful friendship,

I have a very special present for you.

Please accept it.

-Wow!
-It's a Kinder egg!

Hold on! The tradition is to shake it!

To see if it has small
or big pieces inside.

Can't really tell.

-It might not have small pieces.
-It might be a puzzle.

Doesn't sound like anything
when you shake it.

It doesn't sound like anything!

-Maybe it's empty.
-No, it's something awesome!

Is it empty?

No!

What is this?

-A space shuttle.
-It's a sled.

What's up?

-Istvan can put it together for you.
-We were about to start an orgy.

Nothing to put together.
It's a space shuttle.

-Give it here.
-I bet Istvan can do it.

-Make it fly, Istvan!
-Come on, your turn.

It's Radu's turn.

I don't get this thing.

We'll take it back to the store.

Edi, truth or dare?

Last time I chose truth.
Let's stick to that.

Would you have the balls to...

Hey, that sounds like a dare.

Alright, tell us...