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Launch meeting.
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Carrie Bradshaw!
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- Hey, girl!
- Hi.
4
00:00:39,214 --> 00:00:40,845
Um, first off, I just wanna say
5
00:00:40,881 --> 00:00:43,482
thank you for Zooming with
me on a Sunday morning.
6
00:00:43,518 --> 00:00:45,685
I'm just so f'ing backed up right now.
7
00:00:45,721 --> 00:00:47,453
Oh, not a problem.
8
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A Zoom any time for this book tour is,
9
00:00:49,890 --> 00:00:52,761
ya know, beats flying
coach out of Newark.
10
00:00:53,161 --> 00:00:55,527
Hilarious. You're so f'ing funny.
11
00:00:55,563 --> 00:00:57,295
Um, okay, so how much time have you got?
12
00:00:57,331 --> 00:01:00,199
Whatever you need. I'm...
13
00:01:00,235 --> 00:01:02,367
Forty, 45 minutes? Is that good?
14
00:01:02,403 --> 00:01:04,636
Oh, God no. We don't need that much.
15
00:01:04,672 --> 00:01:05,905
Let's just fly right through this.
16
00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:07,942
Oh, okay. Okay, then.
17
00:01:08,442 --> 00:01:10,308
Okay, so I Googled you,
18
00:01:10,344 --> 00:01:12,810
- and it looks like you've written a shit-ton of books.
- Uh-huh.
19
00:01:12,846 --> 00:01:15,880
- Yes.
- Okay, uh, "Sex and the City"?
20
00:01:15,916 --> 00:01:18,350
- I feel you, girl.
- Yeah, that was my first book.
21
00:01:18,386 --> 00:01:21,753
Okay, "Menhattan"? Oh, I get it.
22
00:01:21,789 --> 00:01:23,555
It's like "Manhattan," but with "men."
23
00:01:23,591 --> 00:01:26,090
- Yes, yes, yes.
- Hilarious.
24
00:01:26,126 --> 00:01:29,964
Okay, uh, so tell me about
your new book, "Loved & Lost."
25
00:01:30,533 --> 00:01:31,863
Tell you?
26
00:01:31,899 --> 00:01:34,903
I'm, I'm sorry, did, did
you not read the book?
27
00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:36,903
Oh, my bad.
28
00:01:36,939 --> 00:01:38,704
I'm just so f'ing slammed
29
00:01:38,740 --> 00:01:40,372
with all my other content right now.
30
00:01:40,408 --> 00:01:43,445
But for my followers, what's it about?
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Death.
32
00:01:45,881 --> 00:01:49,114
Hilarious. Okay.
33
00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:52,421
No, for real, what's it about? Go.
34
00:01:52,954 --> 00:01:55,390
It's a book about my husband dying.
35
00:02:02,262 --> 00:02:03,830
So, girl...
36
00:02:03,831 --> 00:02:07,902
what lipstick shades are
you just loving right now?
37
00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:12,705
Oh, thank God.
38
00:02:25,954 --> 00:02:29,149
Oh, shit. Oh, no!
39
00:02:29,185 --> 00:02:31,256
Oh, shit. Shit. My alarm didn't go off.
40
00:02:31,292 --> 00:02:33,392
- What time is it?
- Uh, it's 10 A.M.
41
00:02:33,428 --> 00:02:36,030
- Fuck!
- And it's Sunday.
42
00:02:36,598 --> 00:02:37,600
It is?
43
00:02:38,133 --> 00:02:41,100
Oh, wow. I have lost all my bearings
44
00:02:41,136 --> 00:02:42,601
since becoming a nomad.
45
00:02:42,637 --> 00:02:45,637
A nomad... in cute little pajamas.
46
00:02:45,673 --> 00:02:47,672
How about we hold off
on the fashion critiques
47
00:02:47,708 --> 00:02:49,474
till after I've had my coffee, huh?
48
00:02:49,510 --> 00:02:52,411
Sorry. I just wasn't
expecting the hearts.
49
00:02:52,447 --> 00:02:53,846
Yeah?
50
00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:56,281
Well, life is full of surprises.
51
00:02:56,317 --> 00:02:58,851
Yeah, that's true.
52
00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:00,322
What are you working on?
53
00:03:01,189 --> 00:03:02,624
My divorce papers.
54
00:03:05,026 --> 00:03:07,459
- You're doing it yourself?
- Yeah.
55
00:03:07,495 --> 00:03:09,861
I mean, it's pretty straightforward.
It's a no-fault divorce.
56
00:03:09,897 --> 00:03:12,334
Must be nice to have a no-fault divorce.
57
00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:14,969
Mine's an all-my-fault divorce.
58
00:03:21,008 --> 00:03:24,376
Oh, my God! Rock's
Ralph Lauren ad is out!
59
00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:25,443
- Cool.
- Really?!
60
00:03:25,479 --> 00:03:27,146
- I gotta call Charlotte.
- Nice!
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00:03:27,182 --> 00:03:29,379
Oh!
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00:03:30,218 --> 00:03:31,550
Hello!
63
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:35,120
Hi! I just saw Rock's ad! It's amazing!
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00:03:35,156 --> 00:03:37,855
Isn't it? We didn't even
know it was coming out today
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00:03:37,891 --> 00:03:39,824
till Anthony showed up with 10 papers.
66
00:03:39,860 --> 00:03:42,694
My phone has been ringing
off the hook all morning.
67
00:03:42,730 --> 00:03:44,130
Rock looks so cool!
68
00:03:44,166 --> 00:03:46,465
- Don't they look beautiful?
- Mom!
69
00:03:46,501 --> 00:03:48,968
Oh, hush, "beautiful" is gender-neutral.
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00:03:49,004 --> 00:03:51,203
Rock star! Rock's a rock star!
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00:03:51,239 --> 00:03:53,539
So, this is what it feels
like to be the good kid?
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00:03:53,575 --> 00:03:55,374
- I don't like it.
- Hm.
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00:03:55,410 --> 00:03:56,808
I'm a model, too!
74
00:03:56,844 --> 00:03:58,844
That's enough jumpin', baby, okay?
75
00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:01,380
Daddy says... Ow! Oh, oh!
76
00:04:01,416 --> 00:04:02,749
Oh, shit!
77
00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:04,311
Daddy said a bad word.
78
00:04:04,347 --> 00:04:06,418
- Gabby jumped on Daddy's penis!
- Oh!
79
00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:08,387
- Okay, okay. Everybody, out.
- Baby, get 'em out.
80
00:04:08,423 --> 00:04:11,656
- Out... out.
- Mommy and Daddy gotta get dressed. Go, go.
81
00:04:11,692 --> 00:04:13,092
Charlotte, I gotta call you back.
82
00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:14,563
Okay. Bye.
83
00:04:14,962 --> 00:04:17,396
Hey, Mom, did you call
your person at Nobu
84
00:04:17,432 --> 00:04:19,497
to make that lunch res
for me and Blake at one?
85
00:04:19,533 --> 00:04:22,067
Oh, no, with all the
Polo excitement, I forgot.
86
00:04:22,103 --> 00:04:23,936
- I'll do it in a minute.
- It's almost 11.
87
00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:25,370
We'll never get in now.
88
00:04:25,406 --> 00:04:27,072
Boo-hoo, you're 17 years old,
89
00:04:27,108 --> 00:04:28,601
go to Shake Shack and call it a day.
90
00:04:28,637 --> 00:04:32,281
I can't lose my virginity
after a lunch at Shake Shack.
91
00:04:35,116 --> 00:04:36,552
Excuse me?
92
00:04:37,085 --> 00:04:39,017
I'm ready to lose my virginity.
93
00:04:39,053 --> 00:04:40,752
I'm ready to lose my hearing.
94
00:04:40,788 --> 00:04:44,189
And now, it won't be the
perfect day that I had planned.
95
00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:50,132
Why would she just announce
somethin' like that?
96
00:04:50,565 --> 00:04:52,431
Maybe with all this Rock excitement,
97
00:04:52,467 --> 00:04:55,233
she just needed more attention? I...
98
00:04:55,269 --> 00:04:58,673
Could be. I once set my
little sister's coat on fire.
99
00:05:00,074 --> 00:05:02,911
How bad is it? On a scale of one to 10?
100
00:05:03,479 --> 00:05:05,111
Forty-six.
101
00:05:05,147 --> 00:05:07,479
How could such a tiny
girl have such big feet?
102
00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:08,647
Just tell me, is it broken?
103
00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:10,882
Because if it is, I'm outta here.
104
00:05:10,918 --> 00:05:13,485
You laugh,
105
00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:15,190
but I'm dead serious.
106
00:05:15,589 --> 00:05:17,222
Deputy Mayor just confirmed
107
00:05:17,258 --> 00:05:19,557
my Wall Street campaign event Wednesday.
108
00:05:19,593 --> 00:05:21,293
Get ready to dazzle and shine
109
00:05:21,329 --> 00:05:22,761
these guys out of their money.
110
00:05:22,797 --> 00:05:25,297
Honey... the talk-back after my movie
111
00:05:25,333 --> 00:05:26,666
at MoMA is on Wednesday.
112
00:05:26,702 --> 00:05:28,003
You're still doin' that?
113
00:05:28,502 --> 00:05:31,003
Yeah, my career? I'm "still doing that."
114
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:34,105
No, no, no. I just meant
115
00:05:34,141 --> 00:05:36,608
why don't you come and say
a quick hello at my event
116
00:05:36,644 --> 00:05:37,910
and then you can go to yours?
117
00:05:37,946 --> 00:05:38,946
Did it ever cross your mind
118
00:05:38,980 --> 00:05:39,882
that maybe you could go do
119
00:05:39,882 --> 00:05:41,246
a quick hello at your event
120
00:05:41,282 --> 00:05:42,617
and then go to mine?
121
00:05:44,486 --> 00:05:46,251
How's that pain level now?
122
00:05:46,287 --> 00:05:48,920
Dick: 3. Fundraiser: 10.
123
00:05:48,956 --> 00:05:52,524
You laugh, but I'm dead serious.
124
00:05:54,463 --> 00:05:55,527
Sweetie?
125
00:05:55,563 --> 00:05:56,761
I was hoping we could talk about
126
00:05:56,797 --> 00:05:58,297
your announcement this morning?
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00:05:58,333 --> 00:06:00,101
Do we have to?
128
00:06:00,334 --> 00:06:02,334
Well...
129
00:06:02,370 --> 00:06:04,503
since you went public
with the information,
130
00:06:04,539 --> 00:06:06,536
I feel like I should follow up.
131
00:06:08,209 --> 00:06:11,710
Um, Lily... could you
please stop playing that?
132
00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:14,483
It just... It makes
everything seem so sad.
133
00:06:16,550 --> 00:06:19,188
Thank you... Okay.
134
00:06:20,054 --> 00:06:21,256
So...
135
00:06:23,558 --> 00:06:25,223
today's the big day?
136
00:06:25,259 --> 00:06:26,553
Not anymore.
137
00:06:26,589 --> 00:06:28,861
Blake's parents decided
not to go to Connecticut.
138
00:06:28,897 --> 00:06:30,532
Be that as it may...
139
00:06:32,033 --> 00:06:35,200
I'm just really glad that
you opened up to us about this
140
00:06:35,236 --> 00:06:39,238
because... my parents made sex
seem like it was something that just
141
00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:41,005
wasn't even up for discussion.
142
00:06:41,041 --> 00:06:44,709
So, I've just always tried to
be sex-positive with you two.
143
00:06:44,745 --> 00:06:47,249
- Can I start playing again?
- I wish you wouldn't.
144
00:06:50,685 --> 00:06:54,186
You, you feel like you're ready to...
145
00:06:54,222 --> 00:06:55,988
take this next step?
146
00:06:56,024 --> 00:06:58,657
I do. I like Blake. Blake likes me.
147
00:06:58,693 --> 00:07:00,862
I mean, we've known each other forever.
148
00:07:02,096 --> 00:07:03,298
Okay.
149
00:07:04,232 --> 00:07:05,234
Well...
150
00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:07,499
condoms, obviously.
151
00:07:07,535 --> 00:07:09,567
I have been hearing about
condoms since the fifth grade.
152
00:07:09,603 --> 00:07:12,040
- We're on it.
- Good, good.
153
00:07:12,975 --> 00:07:15,210
And... Lily...
154
00:07:16,578 --> 00:07:21,680
I just really want you
to focus on your pleasure
155
00:07:21,716 --> 00:07:24,711
just as much as his pleasure.
156
00:07:24,747 --> 00:07:28,588
It is important that you
take care of your own needs.
157
00:07:28,624 --> 00:07:29,888
Mom, stop, stop.
158
00:07:29,924 --> 00:07:33,128
You have gone from
sex-positive to sex-annoying.
159
00:07:34,295 --> 00:07:35,461
Okay.
160
00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:38,730
My computer literally leapt to its death
161
00:07:38,766 --> 00:07:40,633
to get me out of that Zoom.
162
00:07:40,669 --> 00:07:41,901
That's a good computer.
163
00:07:41,937 --> 00:07:43,902
I can't even get mine to stop sending me
164
00:07:43,938 --> 00:07:45,940
"sexy singles in my area."
165
00:07:46,642 --> 00:07:48,677
She was a good friend.
166
00:07:49,077 --> 00:07:51,080
Had her for eight years.
167
00:07:52,247 --> 00:07:55,080
I like to believe she's
in a better place now.
168
00:07:55,116 --> 00:07:58,250
- Eight years? I upgrade my tech constantly.
- Mm.
169
00:07:58,286 --> 00:08:00,252
I already have the new iPhone.
170
00:08:00,288 --> 00:08:02,120
Mm, the one that just came out?
171
00:08:02,156 --> 00:08:04,156
No, the one that hasn't come out yet.
172
00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:06,893
I'm a very loyal person.
173
00:08:06,929 --> 00:08:08,931
I still have a travel agent.
174
00:08:09,297 --> 00:08:12,096
And you're a very loyal person, too,
175
00:08:12,132 --> 00:08:16,234
helping me pick out a computer
instead of going to lunch.
176
00:08:16,270 --> 00:08:20,506
I have to admit, I did invite you
to lunch with an ulterior motive.
177
00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:22,177
I need to ask you something.
178
00:08:24,278 --> 00:08:26,314
Fine, you can have one of my kidneys.
179
00:08:26,647 --> 00:08:29,317
- The left one.
- Okay.
180
00:08:29,850 --> 00:08:33,418
I have never asked another single
woman to share a summer house.
181
00:08:33,454 --> 00:08:35,787
I mean, it's just too
tragic. Too "Bravo TV."
182
00:08:35,823 --> 00:08:38,857
Seema, are you... proposing we go
183
00:08:38,893 --> 00:08:40,529
to the Hamptons together?
184
00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:43,996
I can't spend another
weekend sharing a room
185
00:08:44,032 --> 00:08:45,998
with a married friend's kid's surfboard.
186
00:08:46,034 --> 00:08:48,334
But you and me with our own
187
00:08:48,370 --> 00:08:50,769
two-bed, three-bath on the beach?
188
00:08:50,805 --> 00:08:54,672
Fun, fabulous... not tragic at all.
189
00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:57,870
I always dreamed you'd propose to me
190
00:08:57,906 --> 00:09:02,481
in a, in a more romantic place
than an Apple store, but yes!
191
00:09:02,517 --> 00:09:06,555
Yes, Seema, I will spend
the summer with you!
192
00:09:09,891 --> 00:09:11,426
This is the one, right?
193
00:09:13,328 --> 00:09:16,165
It's cold out.
194
00:09:18,066 --> 00:09:20,502
Brr... come here.
195
00:09:21,902 --> 00:09:24,903
- Come where? We both just came.
- I know.
196
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:27,606
- And now I wanna cuddle.
- Ew, cuddle?
197
00:09:27,642 --> 00:09:29,741
Who am I, Paddington Bear?
198
00:09:29,777 --> 00:09:31,377
I'm really not in a
snuggle space right now.
199
00:09:31,413 --> 00:09:34,416
Can we just... can we
just call it a night?
200
00:09:34,916 --> 00:09:35,917
Sure.
201
00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:41,456
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
202
00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:51,197
Hey, this is Che Diaz wishing
203
00:09:51,233 --> 00:09:52,664
Roary Upton a very happy birthday!
204
00:09:52,700 --> 00:09:54,703
Uh, I'm sorry. What's happening?
205
00:09:55,070 --> 00:09:56,905
I thought we said goodnight.
206
00:09:57,405 --> 00:09:58,703
Oh, well, goodnight to you,
207
00:09:58,739 --> 00:10:00,538
but I still have to
record a bunch of Cameos.
208
00:10:00,574 --> 00:10:03,545
- I didn't get around to them today.
- Why?
209
00:10:03,878 --> 00:10:05,480
What else were you doing all day?
210
00:10:08,383 --> 00:10:10,782
Look, since I'm not up
for going to the clubs,
211
00:10:10,818 --> 00:10:12,751
these are the only way that I
can make any money right now,
212
00:10:12,787 --> 00:10:15,120
so... please don't shit on it.
213
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:17,055
I'm not shitting on it. Just...
214
00:10:17,091 --> 00:10:19,419
What was that voice you were using?
215
00:10:19,455 --> 00:10:20,892
Okay, that feels like a shit.
216
00:10:20,928 --> 00:10:23,462
- It's...
- Yeah, a big, steaming shit.
217
00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:24,896
But since you're interested,
218
00:10:24,932 --> 00:10:27,699
it's my "I'm pretending
my life isn't over" voice.
219
00:10:27,735 --> 00:10:30,068
Yeah, my followers don't
know that my pilot's failed
220
00:10:30,104 --> 00:10:32,107
and that my career is over so...
221
00:10:33,674 --> 00:10:35,807
So, you're just pretending
you're fine online?
222
00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:38,610
Yeah, isn't that what
social media's for?
223
00:10:38,646 --> 00:10:40,946
- Is that a tit?!
- Yeah, it is.
224
00:10:40,982 --> 00:10:43,618
Yeah, sometimes they
send me messages back.
225
00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:45,451
What?
226
00:10:46,921 --> 00:10:48,921
Don't be threatened.
That tit's all the way
227
00:10:48,957 --> 00:10:50,055
- in Arizona.
- I am not th...
228
00:10:50,091 --> 00:10:52,423
I am so not threatened.
I am worried, Che.
229
00:10:52,459 --> 00:10:55,660
- You've been moping around the apartment for weeks.
- I'm sorry I'm not climbing out
230
00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:57,662
of my deep depression
fast enough for you.
231
00:10:57,698 --> 00:10:59,664
- I...
- Hey, you were the one who said that I should do things
232
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:01,566
- to make myself feel better.
- I didn't mean Cameos.
233
00:11:01,602 --> 00:11:03,635
I meant leaving the house.
234
00:11:03,671 --> 00:11:05,004
You don't wanna go to the clubs.
235
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,471
I get it.
236
00:11:06,507 --> 00:11:08,907
But at least go out
and, and take a walk.
237
00:11:08,943 --> 00:11:11,610
- Talk to a real, live person.
- Oh, yeah, yeah,
238
00:11:11,646 --> 00:11:15,049
'cause that's working out
so well for me right now.
239
00:11:18,153 --> 00:11:19,554
All right.
240
00:11:30,365 --> 00:11:33,699
Hey, this is Che Diaz!
This Cameo's for Kyle.
241
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,101
Congrats on that early decision, dude!
242
00:11:35,137 --> 00:11:36,268
I just know you're gonna kill it
243
00:11:36,304 --> 00:11:39,271
at the California
Institute of Technology!
244
00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:42,312
Unbelievable.
245
00:11:42,845 --> 00:11:45,511
Oh, great... you're leaving?
246
00:11:45,547 --> 00:11:48,147
- I...
- Oh, another thing for me to feel bad about.
247
00:11:48,183 --> 00:11:49,781
I have an early class. I can't sleep
248
00:11:49,817 --> 00:11:52,384
- with you doing those.
- Hey, come on.
249
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:55,054
- Come on, don't leave pissed.
- I am pissed!
250
00:11:55,090 --> 00:11:56,725
I...
251
00:11:57,492 --> 00:12:00,358
W-why do I get sullen, sad-sack Che
252
00:12:00,394 --> 00:12:02,628
and some random tit in Arizona
253
00:12:02,664 --> 00:12:04,530
gets all your smiles and all your charm?
254
00:12:04,566 --> 00:12:06,564
Because I'm not performing
for you, Miranda.
255
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,000
Is that the only part of me you want?
256
00:12:08,036 --> 00:12:09,635
Che Diaz, fuck-boy and comic?
257
00:12:09,671 --> 00:12:11,201
Don't talk to me like that.
258
00:12:11,767 --> 00:12:14,209
I am here trying to help you move on.
259
00:12:15,376 --> 00:12:17,011
I don't deserve that.
260
00:12:18,046 --> 00:12:19,248
No, you don't.
261
00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:22,147
I'm sorry.
262
00:12:22,183 --> 00:12:23,585
It's okay.
263
00:12:24,213 --> 00:12:25,220
Just...
264
00:12:28,055 --> 00:12:30,556
Just try and leave the
house this week, okay?
265
00:12:37,632 --> 00:12:40,565
"Carrie Bradshaw Loves a Dark Berry Lip"
266
00:12:40,601 --> 00:12:42,234
is the headline for her piece
267
00:12:42,270 --> 00:12:44,836
on my sad and heartfelt memoir?
268
00:12:44,872 --> 00:12:46,771
Forget about these internet interviews.
269
00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:50,209
Thousands of women
who have loved and lost
270
00:12:50,245 --> 00:12:52,711
from every corner of the country
271
00:12:52,747 --> 00:12:55,447
are coming to New York for WidowCon,
272
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:56,915
and you will be their queen.
273
00:12:56,951 --> 00:12:59,018
It's rare to hear such
a positive and a negative
274
00:12:59,054 --> 00:13:01,120
- in the same sentence.
- Two words:
275
00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:03,222
Book... Sales. And
they're gonna love you.
276
00:13:03,258 --> 00:13:06,091
It's like a rock concert,
but for sad people.
277
00:13:06,127 --> 00:13:08,387
So, like a Wilson Phillips concert.
278
00:13:08,423 --> 00:13:10,929
Your three o'clock is here.
279
00:13:10,965 --> 00:13:12,630
Send her in.
280
00:13:12,666 --> 00:13:13,900
So, that's the event coordinator.
281
00:13:13,936 --> 00:13:16,101
And, shh, do not call it WidowCon.
282
00:13:16,137 --> 00:13:18,436
They hate that. It's actually called
283
00:13:18,472 --> 00:13:22,808
"Life After Death: A
Widow's Storytelling Event."
284
00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:24,310
Ooh, God, that is such a mouthful.
285
00:13:24,346 --> 00:13:26,311
- Yeah.
- Knock, knock!
286
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:29,418
Carrie Bradshaw! Hi, stranger!
287
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:34,756
Oh, my God! Oh, my God, uh, Kar-Karen...
288
00:13:36,157 --> 00:13:38,157
- Moore! Remember?
- Moore!
289
00:13:38,193 --> 00:13:39,926
'Cause I always leave 'em wanting more.
290
00:13:40,996 --> 00:13:42,927
And I go by Kerry now.
291
00:13:42,963 --> 00:13:45,564
Not a great time for white
women named Karen, so...
292
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:48,300
- Oh.
- Oh. You changed your name to Kerry?
293
00:13:48,336 --> 00:13:52,404
Yeah, Kerry with a K. Oh,
hi, hello, Carrie with a C.
294
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:53,939
You two know each other?
295
00:13:53,975 --> 00:13:55,274
- Yes!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
296
00:13:55,310 --> 00:13:56,909
I didn't wanna tell you
and ruin the surprise,
297
00:13:56,945 --> 00:13:58,944
but we go way back.
298
00:13:58,980 --> 00:14:00,579
We used to be writing partners.
299
00:14:00,615 --> 00:14:02,447
- Oh.
- Well, our literary agents
300
00:14:02,483 --> 00:14:05,082
set us up in the, woo,
the early '90s for, like,
301
00:14:05,118 --> 00:14:08,520
- what, a month, right?
- Yeah, we were writing a romcom for a big studio.
302
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:12,157
A big studio? Weren't we just
meeting a guy at Starbucks?
303
00:14:12,193 --> 00:14:13,591
He worked for a studio.
304
00:14:13,627 --> 00:14:16,632
But someone didn't show
up for our final pitch.
305
00:14:17,298 --> 00:14:21,699
W-Was it him or me? I-I
honestly have... I have no idea.
306
00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:24,303
I was drunk a lot of the '90s.
307
00:14:24,339 --> 00:14:25,537
And that's the kinda comedy
308
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:27,939
that would've made our movie a huge hit,
309
00:14:27,975 --> 00:14:32,277
but someone left me all alone
holding her mochaccino order.
310
00:14:32,313 --> 00:14:35,047
Ohh, I sense that was me.
311
00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:36,949
Even though I've never had a mochaccino.
312
00:14:36,985 --> 00:14:38,483
Speakin' of coffee,
I'm gonna go grab one
313
00:14:38,519 --> 00:14:40,886
and let you two catch up. 'Kay?
314
00:14:40,922 --> 00:14:43,021
Okay, thanks, Amanda.
315
00:14:43,057 --> 00:14:46,658
Oh, my gosh. How mad were you
when "27 Dresses" came out?
316
00:14:46,694 --> 00:14:51,463
- I mean...
- I... n... never saw it, so not at all.
317
00:14:51,499 --> 00:14:53,499
Dude, they totally
ripped off our script!
318
00:14:53,535 --> 00:14:54,566
Remember?
319
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,035
Our main character didn't wanna wear
320
00:14:56,071 --> 00:14:57,902
her ugly bridesmaid dress?
321
00:14:57,938 --> 00:14:59,804
Well, I mean, the
"bridesmaid experience,"
322
00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:02,140
it-it's a, it's a pretty
common movie trope.
323
00:15:02,176 --> 00:15:03,808
Not the way you and I wrote it.
324
00:15:03,844 --> 00:15:05,978
I mean, if only you had
showed up for that meeting!
325
00:15:06,014 --> 00:15:07,246
Damn me.
326
00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:08,513
That's all in the past.
327
00:15:08,549 --> 00:15:11,750
I... No, I am so excited
you're doing this event.
328
00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:15,553
I even pulled some strings
to get you the main spot.
329
00:15:15,589 --> 00:15:19,295
- Oh, thank you.
- So... don't you flake out on me this time!
330
00:15:19,795 --> 00:15:21,889
Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm really
331
00:15:21,925 --> 00:15:24,467
sorry about all of that, Kare... y.
332
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:27,767
Ya know, I-I-I just
wasn't a movie writer.
333
00:15:27,803 --> 00:15:29,701
- Gah! No, you weren't.
- Ooh.
334
00:15:29,737 --> 00:15:32,271
No, I'm kidding. Carrie, I'm kidding.
335
00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:34,873
But seriously, I need you
to show up on time, okay?
336
00:15:34,909 --> 00:15:36,008
I run a tight ship.
337
00:15:36,044 --> 00:15:38,110
I will. I'm rarely drunk these days.
338
00:15:44,820 --> 00:15:45,820
Oh.
339
00:15:52,626 --> 00:15:55,727
Heyyy. How's it hangin'?
340
00:15:55,763 --> 00:15:59,231
Che, I have a huge favor to ask you.
341
00:15:59,267 --> 00:16:00,598
Anything.
342
00:16:00,634 --> 00:16:03,472
As long as it doesn't involve
me exerting any energy.
343
00:16:03,971 --> 00:16:09,971
Well, we have a problem because I
need you to go with me to WidowCon.
344
00:16:10,612 --> 00:16:11,943
What the fuck is WidowCon?
345
00:16:11,979 --> 00:16:13,980
A convention of sad women
346
00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:16,582
who have lost the loves of their lives.
347
00:16:16,618 --> 00:16:18,278
I lived in a loft like that once.
348
00:16:18,314 --> 00:16:19,986
It's the first time
I've been asked to speak
349
00:16:20,022 --> 00:16:22,487
in front of such a large crowd in years.
350
00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:25,957
I'm nervous. And you're so fearless.
351
00:16:25,993 --> 00:16:28,989
It's funny, I don't feel very
fearless at all right now.
352
00:16:29,025 --> 00:16:31,130
I know it's a lot to ask.
353
00:16:31,166 --> 00:16:34,369
Yeah, it is... for a pussy like me.
354
00:16:36,504 --> 00:16:39,805
But yes... What the fuck? It's for you.
355
00:16:39,841 --> 00:16:41,673
Thank you.
356
00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:44,276
Besides, my mommy said
I have to leave the house
357
00:16:44,312 --> 00:16:45,912
at some point this week.
358
00:16:45,948 --> 00:16:48,950
- Your mommy?
- Miranda.
359
00:16:50,452 --> 00:16:51,650
Yep.
360
00:16:51,686 --> 00:16:54,519
That silence speaks volumes.
361
00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:57,489
- Hi! Welcome to Brooklyn.
- Hi!
362
00:16:57,525 --> 00:16:59,524
- Thank you.
- I'm making paella.
363
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:00,993
Oh! Well, as promised,
364
00:17:01,029 --> 00:17:02,127
we brought the wine.
365
00:17:02,163 --> 00:17:04,596
We've got a gorgeous Cabernet for us...
366
00:17:04,632 --> 00:17:06,698
- Ooh.
- And this imposter for Miranda.
367
00:17:06,734 --> 00:17:09,636
- Beautiful! Come in.
- Thank you! Oh.
368
00:17:09,672 --> 00:17:11,039
It's beautiful.
369
00:17:11,972 --> 00:17:14,173
- Warm Grape Kool-Aid.
- This is good.
370
00:17:14,209 --> 00:17:16,843
That's what this reminds me of.
371
00:17:16,879 --> 00:17:18,880
Oh.
372
00:17:20,048 --> 00:17:22,042
Sorry, this is my soon-to-be ex.
373
00:17:22,078 --> 00:17:23,815
I gotta respond to this real quick.
374
00:17:23,851 --> 00:17:26,152
We had a bad breakup, so we're
trying to have a good divorce.
375
00:17:26,188 --> 00:17:28,387
What does that mean exactly,
no restraining orders?
376
00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:32,791
Seriously, do ya think
you'll stay friends?
377
00:17:32,827 --> 00:17:35,560
Well, I don't know, I mean,
he's just been a part of my life
378
00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:36,995
for so many goddamn years,
379
00:17:37,031 --> 00:17:40,066
neither one of us can
imagine going cold turkey.
380
00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:42,301
So, we text about the Nets.
381
00:17:42,337 --> 00:17:45,670
I think "cold turkey" is
my breakup spirit animal.
382
00:17:45,706 --> 00:17:49,007
I always thought that
I would keep in touch
383
00:17:49,043 --> 00:17:52,310
with my ex-husband, Trey,
but he did not want that.
384
00:17:52,346 --> 00:17:54,713
- Well, that's his loss.
- Yeah.
385
00:17:54,749 --> 00:17:56,515
Do you think that you and
Steve will be friends one day
386
00:17:56,551 --> 00:17:59,084
- after the divorce?
- God, I hope so.
387
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:00,719
But we're still light years away
388
00:18:00,755 --> 00:18:03,555
from even talking about divorce.
389
00:18:03,591 --> 00:18:05,057
I'll know we're making progress
390
00:18:05,093 --> 00:18:07,259
when Steve can actually
make eye contact with me
391
00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:10,223
instead of looking away like
a puppy who's been kicked.
392
00:18:10,259 --> 00:18:12,331
Well, one of you has to bring it up,
393
00:18:12,367 --> 00:18:14,700
and I think that might have to be you.
394
00:18:14,736 --> 00:18:18,270
Oh, no, no, no, no.
It's gotta come from him.
395
00:18:18,306 --> 00:18:21,173
I did the damage, so I
just have to suck it up
396
00:18:21,209 --> 00:18:23,609
and give him time till
he can find his bearings.
397
00:18:23,645 --> 00:18:25,681
I don't know if that's
the best approach.
398
00:18:26,081 --> 00:18:28,617
- Why not?
- Just something he said.
399
00:18:29,250 --> 00:18:31,015
What did he say?
400
00:18:31,051 --> 00:18:34,253
Well, it was months ago,
but he said that, um...
401
00:18:34,289 --> 00:18:36,588
he would never take
his wedding ring off.
402
00:18:36,624 --> 00:18:40,024
- Till death do you part.
- Ohh.
403
00:18:40,060 --> 00:18:42,428
- That would be so romantic if it weren't...
- My life.
404
00:18:42,464 --> 00:18:45,531
- Why didn't you tell me?
- Because I didn't wanna give you
405
00:18:45,567 --> 00:18:49,268
another thing to keep
beating yourself up about.
406
00:18:49,304 --> 00:18:53,471
And the only reason I am telling you now
407
00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:57,642
is to light a fire under
you to go talk to him.
408
00:18:57,678 --> 00:19:00,716
I don't think he is
ever going to just...
409
00:19:01,316 --> 00:19:03,749
ya know, wake up one day and magically
410
00:19:03,785 --> 00:19:05,821
be ready to move on.
411
00:19:08,156 --> 00:19:10,155
Can't we just skip forward
412
00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:12,892
- to the awkward texting phase?
- Hm.
413
00:19:12,928 --> 00:19:15,394
Oh, I came across an ex this week
414
00:19:15,430 --> 00:19:18,701
that I didn't even remember I had.
415
00:19:18,934 --> 00:19:20,466
An ex-writing partner.
416
00:19:20,502 --> 00:19:24,173
Apparently... the
breakup did not go well.
417
00:19:24,606 --> 00:19:26,271
In fact, I have more baggage with Karen
418
00:19:26,307 --> 00:19:27,572
than I do with Aidan.
419
00:19:27,608 --> 00:19:29,008
Done!
420
00:19:29,044 --> 00:19:31,643
- Who's Aidan?
- Her ex-fiancé.
421
00:19:31,679 --> 00:19:34,680
Oh, this is something I'm curious about.
422
00:19:34,716 --> 00:19:36,415
Do you still talk to him?
423
00:19:36,451 --> 00:19:38,983
No. No contact. Not in years. Mm-mm.
424
00:19:39,019 --> 00:19:41,788
Do you have any idea
whatever happened to him?
425
00:19:41,824 --> 00:19:45,024
Um, he's living in Virginia now.
426
00:19:45,060 --> 00:19:46,993
And he got divorced five years ago.
427
00:19:47,029 --> 00:19:48,927
And he sold his furniture company
428
00:19:48,963 --> 00:19:51,964
- to West Elm for quite a pretty penny.
- Oh.
429
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,499
What did we do before the internet?
430
00:19:53,535 --> 00:19:56,702
I'm not proud of myself.
431
00:20:17,158 --> 00:20:19,525
Oh, cute. What about this house?
432
00:20:19,561 --> 00:20:21,493
Would you get real? Look
at the square footage.
433
00:20:21,529 --> 00:20:23,195
Just our bags and shoes
434
00:20:23,231 --> 00:20:24,997
- need more room than that.
- Oh. All right.
435
00:20:25,033 --> 00:20:26,798
Well, ya know what? This is your world.
436
00:20:26,834 --> 00:20:29,868
- You take over, it's all yours.
- Gladly.
437
00:20:29,904 --> 00:20:31,169
I mean, I was just being polite.
438
00:20:31,205 --> 00:20:34,076
- I already found the perfect place.
- Ohh.
439
00:20:36,711 --> 00:20:39,181
Hey... where did the website go?
440
00:20:40,615 --> 00:20:43,815
This new computer is
fast. Like, too fast.
441
00:20:43,851 --> 00:20:45,552
Whoa! Careful!
Care-care-careful, Speed Racer.
442
00:20:45,588 --> 00:20:46,653
Don't hit send.
443
00:20:46,689 --> 00:20:47,753
Don't send what?
444
00:20:47,789 --> 00:20:49,221
That e-mail I chickened out
445
00:20:49,257 --> 00:20:51,824
of sending to an ex-boyfriend.
446
00:20:51,860 --> 00:20:53,192
Oh, I have a bunch of those.
447
00:20:53,228 --> 00:20:54,860
And they all start with
"hope you're doing well"
448
00:20:54,896 --> 00:20:56,662
and end with a screenshot
of my bank account.
449
00:20:56,698 --> 00:21:00,432
Mm-mm. Mm, no, it's...
it's not like that with us.
450
00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:02,234
I'd love to hear more, but unless he has
451
00:21:02,270 --> 00:21:05,070
a steam shower and a two-car garage,
452
00:21:05,106 --> 00:21:07,706
south of the highway,
this isn't his moment.
453
00:21:09,945 --> 00:21:15,384
Okay, it's back. Aaand here it is.
454
00:21:15,817 --> 00:21:16,818
Oh.
455
00:21:19,087 --> 00:21:20,752
Oh.
456
00:21:20,788 --> 00:21:23,492
Carrie... do you take this house?
457
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:27,162
I do.
458
00:21:27,791 --> 00:21:29,028
Do you?
459
00:21:29,064 --> 00:21:30,429
I already did.
460
00:21:30,465 --> 00:21:32,364
Those fabulous rentals, they go quick.
461
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:34,734
Again... just being polite.
462
00:21:43,578 --> 00:21:45,777
Hey, you're up early.
463
00:21:45,813 --> 00:21:49,247
Couldn't sleep 'cause you're
so excited about WidowCon?
464
00:21:49,283 --> 00:21:52,482
That's why I'm calling.
Have you looked outside?
465
00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:58,057
Oh, it's so pretty.
466
00:21:58,093 --> 00:22:00,959
It's supposed to turn
into a bomb cyclone.
467
00:22:00,995 --> 00:22:04,496
There's no way any widows are gonna
be able to get in or outta town.
468
00:22:04,532 --> 00:22:05,797
Well, they don't have to.
469
00:22:05,833 --> 00:22:08,170
They've been at the
Sheraton since Tuesday.
470
00:22:09,771 --> 00:22:10,973
Well...
471
00:22:11,639 --> 00:22:14,473
I-I think under these
circumstances, you can cancel.
472
00:22:14,509 --> 00:22:16,174
And, and by you, I mean us.
473
00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:19,278
No, no, no, no, no. I can't.
I can't. I can't cancel.
474
00:22:19,314 --> 00:22:22,080
Kerry would never let me live that down.
475
00:22:22,116 --> 00:22:24,182
Did you just refer to
yourself in the third person?
476
00:22:24,218 --> 00:22:26,418
No.
477
00:22:26,454 --> 00:22:28,253
Kerry's my old writing partner.
478
00:22:28,289 --> 00:22:30,089
She runs the thing, and she's already
479
00:22:30,125 --> 00:22:31,757
expecting me to be a no-show,
480
00:22:31,793 --> 00:22:33,491
so I can't be a "snow flake."
481
00:22:33,527 --> 00:22:35,427
I thought you were going to sell books
482
00:22:35,463 --> 00:22:37,329
and read to grieving widows.
483
00:22:37,365 --> 00:22:41,237
Well, that too. Please,
please, please come.
484
00:22:41,670 --> 00:22:43,635
I need you there.
485
00:22:43,671 --> 00:22:47,275
I-I really wanna do a
good job for these women.
486
00:22:47,575 --> 00:22:49,578
Their husbands died.
487
00:22:51,046 --> 00:22:54,179
- It's a mess out there.
- So did mine.
488
00:22:57,585 --> 00:22:59,151
I'll see you at one.
489
00:22:59,187 --> 00:23:00,520
Thank you.
490
00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:05,790
Hey, honey, where ya goin'?
491
00:23:05,826 --> 00:23:07,659
It's a snow day, and
I'm making hot cocoa
492
00:23:07,695 --> 00:23:09,128
like I did when you were little.
493
00:23:09,164 --> 00:23:10,196
I'm going to Blake's.
494
00:23:10,232 --> 00:23:11,797
His parents got stuck in Connecticut,
495
00:23:11,833 --> 00:23:13,800
so today is the day.
496
00:23:13,836 --> 00:23:15,801
- It's perfect.
- Oh, oh, okay.
497
00:23:15,837 --> 00:23:18,070
So, today's the day.
It's-it's happening.
498
00:23:18,106 --> 00:23:20,109
- Bye.
- Wait!
499
00:23:22,577 --> 00:23:25,672
Mom, please don't think you're
about to hug me right now.
500
00:23:25,708 --> 00:23:27,646
No, I'm not g... I'm not gonna hug you.
501
00:23:27,682 --> 00:23:31,086
I just had to move away from
the stove 'cause it was hot.
502
00:23:34,122 --> 00:23:35,124
Bye, Dad.
503
00:23:35,924 --> 00:23:37,359
Where's she goin'?
504
00:23:38,859 --> 00:23:40,759
She's going to do the
thing that you said that you
505
00:23:40,795 --> 00:23:42,631
didn't wanna hear about.
506
00:23:44,132 --> 00:23:46,135
O-kay.
507
00:23:47,635 --> 00:23:50,272
- Hot cocoa ready?
- Yeah.
508
00:23:55,976 --> 00:23:57,910
Damnit! They canceled my car service.
509
00:23:57,946 --> 00:23:59,781
Oh, I'm sorry, baby.
510
00:24:00,748 --> 00:24:02,380
But since you're all dressed,
511
00:24:02,416 --> 00:24:04,683
now you can come with me
to my Wall Street lunch.
512
00:24:04,719 --> 00:24:06,451
What makes you think
yours is still coming?
513
00:24:06,487 --> 00:24:08,287
Terry booked a Tahoe.
That thing could drive
514
00:24:08,323 --> 00:24:09,722
through a nuclear apocalypse.
515
00:24:09,758 --> 00:24:11,890
Plus...
516
00:24:11,926 --> 00:24:14,526
it's got heated seats.
517
00:24:14,562 --> 00:24:18,896
And, uh, you know you
love those heated seats.
518
00:24:18,932 --> 00:24:21,266
I am not gonna give up
my event for a warm fanny.
519
00:24:21,302 --> 00:24:23,469
Don't be silly. You don't have
a car, you don't have a cab.
520
00:24:23,505 --> 00:24:24,573
How ya gonna get there?
521
00:24:25,106 --> 00:24:27,406
MoMA is honoring me
as a Black filmmaker.
522
00:24:27,442 --> 00:24:30,245
- I will take a dog sled there if I have to.
- Okay.
523
00:24:30,978 --> 00:24:33,745
- Well, okay, then. I'll, I'll drop you.
- No, no.
524
00:24:33,781 --> 00:24:35,948
I don't need a knight in
shining Tahoe to get me there.
525
00:24:35,984 --> 00:24:37,416
I can get there myself.
526
00:24:37,452 --> 00:24:39,521
Okay... do you.
527
00:24:41,622 --> 00:24:44,025
Yes, I will... do me.
528
00:25:22,464 --> 00:25:26,531
It's Lily! One second. One second.
529
00:25:26,567 --> 00:25:28,000
Ugh, Mom, we've already had to pause it
530
00:25:28,036 --> 00:25:30,102
three times for Dad to pee.
531
00:25:30,138 --> 00:25:33,038
Hi, it's Mom. Everything okay?
532
00:25:33,074 --> 00:25:35,374
Blake doesn't have any condoms.
533
00:25:35,410 --> 00:25:38,043
What? What happened to
534
00:25:38,079 --> 00:25:40,845
"since fifth grade" and "we got this"?
535
00:25:40,881 --> 00:25:43,047
I thought he'd get them,
and he thought I'd get them.
536
00:25:43,083 --> 00:25:46,851
Well, you tell him right
now to go out and get some.
537
00:25:46,887 --> 00:25:50,156
He's afraid the drugstore
near here will tell his mom,
538
00:25:50,192 --> 00:25:52,625
and she's not as
sex-positive as you are.
539
00:25:52,661 --> 00:25:54,492
Would you go for us?
540
00:25:54,528 --> 00:25:56,162
- Dad!
- I am not about to go out
541
00:25:56,198 --> 00:25:59,031
in the middle of a blizzard
to get you guys condoms.
542
00:25:59,067 --> 00:26:00,067
Okay, okay. Never mind.
543
00:26:00,068 --> 00:26:01,734
Blake Googled "how to pull out."
544
00:26:01,770 --> 00:26:02,770
We can just try that.
545
00:26:02,771 --> 00:26:04,002
Okay, bye.
546
00:26:04,038 --> 00:26:06,071
Lily? Lily?!
547
00:26:06,107 --> 00:26:09,111
Ooh.
548
00:26:12,046 --> 00:26:15,049
Ah! Hello?!
549
00:26:15,750 --> 00:26:17,386
Hello?!
550
00:26:18,047 --> 00:26:19,053
Um...
551
00:26:20,849 --> 00:26:24,959
Please, please, open up!
Please! It's an emergency!
552
00:26:27,262 --> 00:26:29,762
Closed! No one came in!
553
00:26:29,798 --> 00:26:31,700
Please, please!
554
00:26:32,901 --> 00:26:33,901
M...
555
00:26:34,269 --> 00:26:37,402
My daughter needs condoms!
556
00:26:37,438 --> 00:26:40,075
Please! Please!
557
00:26:58,492 --> 00:27:01,921
Hey, Charlotte, I saw your two
missed calls. Is everything okay?
558
00:27:01,957 --> 00:27:06,398
Carrie! It's an emergency!
I'm around the corner from you.
559
00:27:06,434 --> 00:27:08,300
Do you have any condoms?!
560
00:27:08,336 --> 00:27:10,469
Okay. Why do you need condoms
561
00:27:10,505 --> 00:27:12,371
and why do you think I would have any?
562
00:27:12,407 --> 00:27:14,540
I don't know, you were having
sex with that guy, Franklyn,
563
00:27:14,576 --> 00:27:16,074
- and I... I just thought...
- Thought what?
564
00:27:16,110 --> 00:27:18,077
I was worried about getting pregnant?
565
00:27:18,113 --> 00:27:22,081
No! I don't know, like,
for STDs or whatever.
566
00:27:22,117 --> 00:27:25,250
You thought I had an STD situation?
567
00:27:25,286 --> 00:27:27,986
No, no! Of, of course not!
568
00:27:28,022 --> 00:27:31,156
I've lost my mind trying
to find condoms for Lily.
569
00:27:31,192 --> 00:27:34,826
I've been to three drugstores
and they are all closed!
570
00:27:34,862 --> 00:27:39,431
Are you on a condom scavenger
hunt in this weather?
571
00:27:39,467 --> 00:27:41,132
Carrie, I'm her mother.
572
00:27:41,168 --> 00:27:44,269
Wow. I couldn't even get my
mother to pick me up after school.
573
00:27:44,305 --> 00:27:46,238
Okay, well, best of luck to you,
574
00:27:46,274 --> 00:27:49,278
and whatever happens, let it go.
575
00:28:33,688 --> 00:28:35,688
We're not gonna let a
little snow stop us, are we?
576
00:28:35,724 --> 00:28:37,457
No, we are not.
577
00:28:45,733 --> 00:28:48,735
- Here's your ticket.
- Thank you.
578
00:28:53,174 --> 00:28:56,908
Che? Oh, my God!
579
00:28:56,944 --> 00:29:01,713
You look like the guy that we used
to buy our Christmas trees from.
580
00:29:01,749 --> 00:29:03,748
That's the look I was going for.
581
00:29:03,784 --> 00:29:06,188
- Yeah.
- Well, that's a good look.
582
00:29:07,055 --> 00:29:09,090
Oh, a vibrator?
583
00:29:09,690 --> 00:29:12,157
Okay, okay. A vibrator.
584
00:29:12,193 --> 00:29:14,594
Yep! The Widow Wand!
585
00:29:14,630 --> 00:29:15,862
Our best seller.
586
00:29:15,898 --> 00:29:17,396
- Mm-hmm.
- On backorder only.
587
00:29:17,432 --> 00:29:19,832
- Ah!
- Right? Oh, my God!
588
00:29:19,868 --> 00:29:21,167
Oh.
589
00:29:21,203 --> 00:29:22,604
Oh!
590
00:29:22,970 --> 00:29:25,537
All right, fun statistic:
591
00:29:25,573 --> 00:29:27,840
One-third of women over 60 are widows.
592
00:29:27,876 --> 00:29:29,075
And on Super Bowl Sunday,
593
00:29:29,111 --> 00:29:32,178
the other two-thirds wish they were!
594
00:29:36,818 --> 00:29:39,351
I lost my husband at 45.
595
00:29:39,387 --> 00:29:41,553
He didn't actually die until he was 60,
596
00:29:41,589 --> 00:29:44,354
I just lost him in an Ikea. Where is he?
597
00:29:44,787 --> 00:29:46,629
She's like the "Don Rickles of Death."
598
00:29:46,995 --> 00:29:49,128
Downside, yes, he is dead.
599
00:29:49,164 --> 00:29:53,399
Upside, his mother probably is, too!
600
00:29:53,435 --> 00:29:56,134
What is happening? Was
I so busy deeply grieving
601
00:29:56,170 --> 00:29:58,871
I missed the memo that
death is now funny?
602
00:29:58,907 --> 00:30:02,574
Carrie! You made it! I'm shocked.
603
00:30:02,610 --> 00:30:05,144
Maddie Thomas is a tough act to follow.
604
00:30:05,180 --> 00:30:08,113
Wh... I'm, I'm following her?
605
00:30:08,149 --> 00:30:09,281
Yeah, now follow me.
606
00:30:09,317 --> 00:30:11,617
Downside, dead.
607
00:30:11,653 --> 00:30:14,053
Upside? Ice cream for dinner!
608
00:30:16,624 --> 00:30:18,624
- Downside, dead.
- Oh, my God.
609
00:30:18,660 --> 00:30:20,059
My book doesn't have any laughs.
610
00:30:20,095 --> 00:30:22,928
At most, maybe, a sarcastic smile.
611
00:30:22,964 --> 00:30:24,629
You're a comedian, write me a joke.
612
00:30:24,665 --> 00:30:28,800
Oh, no. No, dude. I-I don't
think anything's funny these days.
613
00:30:28,836 --> 00:30:31,236
Hey, and who are we supposed to date?
614
00:30:31,272 --> 00:30:32,737
There's no one left.
615
00:30:32,773 --> 00:30:36,108
Men die faster than the flowers
you buy at the corner deli.
616
00:30:36,144 --> 00:30:38,213
You're next.
617
00:30:39,980 --> 00:30:42,514
I think they're dead
before you buy them.
618
00:30:42,550 --> 00:30:44,844
My God. I'm gonna be the bomb cyclone.
619
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:46,752
Come on, I need a joke. One joke.
620
00:30:46,788 --> 00:30:49,421
Okay, okay. The, the, the, the
merch out there is hilarious.
621
00:30:49,457 --> 00:30:52,290
- Mm-hmm.
- So, um, maybe something like, um...
622
00:30:52,326 --> 00:30:55,962
"The Widow Wand doesn't come
with a life-time guarantee...
623
00:30:55,998 --> 00:30:57,796
but then, neither did my husband"?
624
00:30:57,832 --> 00:31:01,333
- Good! That's good!
- Hm? Okay, okay.
625
00:31:01,369 --> 00:31:04,336
The truth is, everything
reminds me of him.
626
00:31:04,372 --> 00:31:07,805
Except for that vibrator
out there because,
627
00:31:07,841 --> 00:31:10,042
oh, baby, if I'm havin' an orgasm,
628
00:31:10,078 --> 00:31:14,213
my husband is definitely not present.
629
00:31:14,249 --> 00:31:15,681
- Shit.
- No, no, no. She...
630
00:31:15,717 --> 00:31:17,982
Okay, she didn't say the vibrator name.
631
00:31:18,018 --> 00:31:20,786
All right? Which, which
is the, the funny thing.
632
00:31:20,822 --> 00:31:23,758
- So... you know, it still might be good.
- Thank you, I love you!
633
00:31:24,024 --> 00:31:27,459
Buy my book, "Ice Cream
for Dinner," and remember,
634
00:31:27,495 --> 00:31:31,797
- he may be dead...
- But you aren't!
635
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:44,409
Well, I am thrilled to bring to
the stage our keynote speaker.
636
00:31:44,445 --> 00:31:46,845
The "New York Times" best-selling author
637
00:31:46,881 --> 00:31:50,715
and the always hilarious
Carrie Bradshaw.
638
00:31:50,751 --> 00:31:53,052
I'm not hilarious.
639
00:31:53,088 --> 00:31:54,889
Go get 'em! Yeah, you got this.
640
00:32:00,095 --> 00:32:01,330
Hello.
641
00:32:02,396 --> 00:32:05,397
Jeez, I-I wouldn't have
come all this way in the snow
642
00:32:05,433 --> 00:32:09,071
if I'd known the Widow
Wand was on backorder.
643
00:32:13,742 --> 00:32:14,743
Oh.
644
00:32:18,747 --> 00:32:21,183
Well, okay, I'm gonna...
645
00:32:21,749 --> 00:32:25,154
I'm gonna read from my
book, "Loved & Lost."
646
00:32:32,292 --> 00:32:36,528
First, Lisa, thank you for joining
us during this Snowpocalypse.
647
00:32:38,433 --> 00:32:41,799
Well, like my father, a
playwright, always says:
648
00:32:41,835 --> 00:32:44,871
even if there's only one
person, you do a show.
649
00:32:47,675 --> 00:32:50,109
Okay, let's talk about your film,
650
00:32:50,145 --> 00:32:52,377
"The First But Not The Last."
651
00:32:52,413 --> 00:32:54,413
The three Black women you follow...
652
00:32:54,449 --> 00:32:57,144
- Mm-hmm.
- ... are absolute powerhouses.
653
00:32:57,180 --> 00:33:00,219
I mean, what, what made
you decide to choose them
654
00:33:00,255 --> 00:33:02,454
given so many "firsts" in our history?
655
00:33:02,490 --> 00:33:04,156
Well, thank you, Jennifer.
656
00:33:04,192 --> 00:33:06,958
I decided to start with women who
657
00:33:06,994 --> 00:33:10,829
broke down barriers in
business, education, and law.
658
00:33:10,865 --> 00:33:13,265
Women who were doing so
659
00:33:13,301 --> 00:33:15,333
when the world was telling them,
660
00:33:15,369 --> 00:33:19,171
"No, you can't. No, you shouldn't.
661
00:33:19,207 --> 00:33:20,643
No, you won't."
662
00:33:21,342 --> 00:33:23,441
I-I have a daughter
and I want her to know,
663
00:33:23,477 --> 00:33:25,944
I want all of our young people to know,
664
00:33:25,980 --> 00:33:29,951
about the many unsung
"sheroes" who built America.
665
00:33:31,385 --> 00:33:33,019
The research behind this film,
666
00:33:33,055 --> 00:33:35,922
it, it must have taken you years.
667
00:33:35,958 --> 00:33:40,126
Uh, eight... years, actually.
668
00:33:40,162 --> 00:33:43,462
Um... and I'm married
with three children,
669
00:33:43,498 --> 00:33:45,931
so it's a miracle
that it didn't take 18.
670
00:33:45,967 --> 00:33:47,769
Okay.
671
00:33:48,202 --> 00:33:49,404
But...
672
00:33:52,340 --> 00:33:53,542
But...
673
00:33:56,211 --> 00:33:59,544
it was important for
me to make this film
674
00:33:59,580 --> 00:34:04,116
because so many Black women
675
00:34:04,152 --> 00:34:06,989
- still hear "no" every day.
- Mm.
676
00:34:07,422 --> 00:34:12,724
And it is my hope that
this movie might offer
677
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:15,459
a little encouragement
to them to keep going
678
00:34:15,495 --> 00:34:18,798
if they aren't as lucky as those
of us who get that support at home.
679
00:34:28,609 --> 00:34:30,242
Mom, thank you so much.
680
00:34:30,278 --> 00:34:32,979
Yes. Okay, I got you the assorted pack.
681
00:34:33,015 --> 00:34:35,747
There is classic, thin, ribbed.
682
00:34:35,783 --> 00:34:37,649
I would avoid using the warming one
683
00:34:37,685 --> 00:34:40,352
- 'cause you get a rash really easily down there, rem...
- Uh, it's cold
684
00:34:40,388 --> 00:34:42,591
- and the snow is blowing in.
- Okay.
685
00:34:48,029 --> 00:34:50,031
- Thank you!
- Okay.
686
00:35:12,987 --> 00:35:17,760
"I thought that over time,
my grief would shrink.
687
00:35:18,659 --> 00:35:23,632
That it wouldn't fill every inch
of me like it had for so long.
688
00:35:24,064 --> 00:35:27,199
My sadness never shrank, but I grew...
689
00:35:27,235 --> 00:35:28,901
and grew...
690
00:35:28,937 --> 00:35:31,703
until I was so large,
691
00:35:31,739 --> 00:35:34,376
the grief just felt smaller.
692
00:35:35,076 --> 00:35:39,047
And then I realized... it was time.
693
00:35:39,647 --> 00:35:42,480
You don't move on
because you're ready to.
694
00:35:42,516 --> 00:35:47,689
You move on... because you've
outgrown who you used to be."
695
00:35:57,999 --> 00:35:59,000
Woo!
696
00:36:12,447 --> 00:36:13,645
Ugh.
697
00:36:13,681 --> 00:36:16,181
Hey, Carrie. Maddie Thomas.
698
00:36:16,217 --> 00:36:17,649
- Of course.
- That was great.
699
00:36:17,685 --> 00:36:19,786
- Thank you.
- And I wanted to say,
700
00:36:19,822 --> 00:36:21,854
ugh, thank you for your book.
701
00:36:21,890 --> 00:36:22,891
I...
702
00:36:23,825 --> 00:36:25,290
I loved it.
703
00:36:25,326 --> 00:36:28,294
I think I really...
704
00:36:28,330 --> 00:36:30,462
just needed a good cry, ya know?
705
00:36:30,498 --> 00:36:32,264
- I do.
- Of course, ya do.
706
00:36:32,300 --> 00:36:33,799
I do, thank you.
707
00:36:33,835 --> 00:36:36,472
Come on. Let's sell a book or two.
708
00:36:36,838 --> 00:36:38,537
Make sure to get in line
for that ladies' room
709
00:36:38,573 --> 00:36:40,605
'cause you know it's
gonna be long, right?
710
00:36:40,641 --> 00:36:43,009
I mean, look, it's all ladies here.
711
00:36:43,045 --> 00:36:45,310
Seriously, Carrie, man, you rocked that.
712
00:36:45,346 --> 00:36:48,815
- Oh, thank you for being here.
- No, no, thank you.
713
00:36:48,851 --> 00:36:50,949
- For what?
- Some perspective.
714
00:36:50,985 --> 00:36:55,387
I mean, you all had the
actual love of your lives die,
715
00:36:55,423 --> 00:36:59,558
and here you are, up for a
laugh, like, moving on, you know?
716
00:36:59,594 --> 00:37:01,597
I just had my ego die.
717
00:37:02,097 --> 00:37:04,662
Yeah, and no matter how fragile I feel,
718
00:37:04,698 --> 00:37:06,768
I-I need to move my shit on, too.
719
00:37:08,170 --> 00:37:09,468
- Good.
- Mm.
720
00:37:09,504 --> 00:37:11,039
Good.
721
00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:14,239
All right, I gotta go sell some books.
722
00:37:14,275 --> 00:37:15,908
All right, I gotta ski home.
723
00:37:15,944 --> 00:37:17,876
Bye.
724
00:37:17,912 --> 00:37:19,881
I'll talk to you later.
725
00:37:28,356 --> 00:37:30,522
Hey.
726
00:37:30,558 --> 00:37:33,893
Uh, hey. What are you doin' here?
727
00:37:33,929 --> 00:37:35,930
Oh, just finishing laundry.
728
00:37:36,732 --> 00:37:38,934
- Where's Brady?
- At Scout.
729
00:37:39,634 --> 00:37:42,068
I decided to give him
a couple of shifts.
730
00:37:42,104 --> 00:37:44,306
Oh... he's working at the bar now?
731
00:37:45,874 --> 00:37:48,107
Yep, he's workin' at the bar.
732
00:37:48,143 --> 00:37:49,441
Got a problem with that?
733
00:37:49,477 --> 00:37:51,843
No, not at all. Just new information.
734
00:37:51,879 --> 00:37:56,885
Listen, I, um, I-I... I
wanted to talk to you anyway.
735
00:37:57,885 --> 00:37:59,780
How's the apartment search going?
736
00:37:59,816 --> 00:38:01,220
It's not.
737
00:38:01,256 --> 00:38:02,924
There is nothin' out there.
738
00:38:04,125 --> 00:38:06,358
I'm not moving.
739
00:38:06,394 --> 00:38:09,394
What do you mean
you're-you're not moving?
740
00:38:09,430 --> 00:38:12,732
You said in therapy that
you would find a place.
741
00:38:12,768 --> 00:38:15,170
Yeah... I lied.
742
00:38:16,605 --> 00:38:18,035
So, what now?
743
00:38:18,567 --> 00:38:21,210
Because I can... I can't
keep living like this.
744
00:38:21,609 --> 00:38:23,041
Coming here, doing laundry,
745
00:38:23,077 --> 00:38:24,743
dropping off Brady's medication,
746
00:38:24,779 --> 00:38:28,784
cleaning the rotting Whole Foods
leftovers out of the fridge.
747
00:38:29,183 --> 00:38:33,719
- You said you would find a place, so I have been...
- This is my house.
748
00:38:33,755 --> 00:38:35,757
- My house.
- Really?
749
00:38:36,289 --> 00:38:39,395
You should tell that to the
mortgage that has only my name on it.
750
00:38:39,995 --> 00:38:44,329
I made it! This kitchen... I built it!
751
00:38:44,365 --> 00:38:47,433
It was a shithole
before I did everything.
752
00:38:47,469 --> 00:38:49,734
I did everything here!
753
00:38:49,770 --> 00:38:53,767
This floor, the fireplace,
the fuckin' bookshelf!
754
00:38:53,803 --> 00:38:55,107
You...
755
00:38:55,143 --> 00:38:57,610
All of it is my house!
756
00:38:57,646 --> 00:38:58,646
My house.
757
00:38:58,647 --> 00:39:02,347
You never wanted to
come here to Brooklyn.
758
00:39:02,383 --> 00:39:03,848
Ya never wanted me...
759
00:39:03,884 --> 00:39:07,756
and you, ya never even wanted Brady!
760
00:39:08,523 --> 00:39:10,289
So, why don't you go find a new place
761
00:39:10,325 --> 00:39:12,458
and get the fuck out of our lives!
762
00:39:14,963 --> 00:39:17,162
I'm sorry.
763
00:39:17,198 --> 00:39:19,163
I'm sorry, Miranda.
Please, hey, hey, hey!
764
00:39:19,199 --> 00:39:20,699
- You can't, you can't leave like this.
- Oh, my God!
765
00:39:20,735 --> 00:39:23,168
All right? I did not mean
what I said about Brady!
766
00:39:23,204 --> 00:39:24,837
It's just, you caught
me off guard, okay?
767
00:39:24,873 --> 00:39:26,104
- Listen, this isn't us.
- I can't.
768
00:39:26,140 --> 00:39:28,274
This is not who we are, okay?!
769
00:39:28,310 --> 00:39:30,309
It is not who we are, okay?!
770
00:39:30,345 --> 00:39:32,010
So, please, you can't get on a subway,
771
00:39:32,046 --> 00:39:33,711
ya know, all cryin' and everything.
772
00:39:33,747 --> 00:39:36,148
So, you know, just stay here with me.
773
00:39:36,184 --> 00:39:37,783
All right? Till we calm down.
774
00:39:37,819 --> 00:39:42,091
Please! Please!
775
00:40:05,013 --> 00:40:07,416
I hate that I hurt you so much.
776
00:40:09,418 --> 00:40:10,552
I know.
777
00:40:11,785 --> 00:40:14,153
I wish there was something I could do
778
00:40:14,189 --> 00:40:16,191
that could help us move past...
779
00:40:17,759 --> 00:40:18,960
What's this?
780
00:40:23,565 --> 00:40:24,766
What is this, Steve?
781
00:40:25,700 --> 00:40:27,699
It's not what it looks like.
782
00:40:27,735 --> 00:40:30,536
It looks like you've been
fucking someone in our bed.
783
00:40:30,572 --> 00:40:32,574
- Is it not that?
- No.
784
00:40:33,374 --> 00:40:34,976
I mean, maybe.
785
00:40:35,811 --> 00:40:37,542
Let me guess...
786
00:40:37,578 --> 00:40:38,911
the Whole Foods girl.
787
00:40:38,947 --> 00:40:40,612
Of course, you would never buy organic
788
00:40:40,648 --> 00:40:43,448
unless you were trying
to impress someone.
789
00:40:43,484 --> 00:40:46,084
I don't believe this.
790
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:50,750
I-I don't believe that you have
been moping around here for months,
791
00:40:50,786 --> 00:40:53,525
playing the victim, letting
me do all the laundry,
792
00:40:53,561 --> 00:40:55,461
and all the dishes and all that
793
00:40:55,497 --> 00:40:57,896
while you were already
fucking somebody else.
794
00:40:57,932 --> 00:41:00,866
Who said I was a victim?
That's in your head.
795
00:41:00,902 --> 00:41:02,969
You moved on. I moved on.
796
00:41:03,005 --> 00:41:06,438
- I ain't a fuckin' victim.
- Great.
797
00:41:06,474 --> 00:41:09,808
My bad. You are not a victim.
798
00:41:09,844 --> 00:41:12,877
Which, which is so good
799
00:41:12,913 --> 00:41:15,547
because I was so worried
about you not moving on,
800
00:41:15,583 --> 00:41:17,483
and guess what? You already have.
801
00:41:17,519 --> 00:41:18,753
So...
802
00:41:19,655 --> 00:41:21,319
I am happy for you...
803
00:41:21,355 --> 00:41:22,922
happy for us.
804
00:41:22,958 --> 00:41:24,159
I really am.
805
00:41:25,354 --> 00:41:30,462
Okay. Well, uh, you enjoy
806
00:41:30,498 --> 00:41:33,826
your locally sourced organic sex,
807
00:41:33,862 --> 00:41:37,936
and, uh... I'll start
writing up the divorce papers.
808
00:41:37,972 --> 00:41:40,305
And... don't worry about me.
809
00:41:40,341 --> 00:41:42,977
I will not be crying
on the subway tonight.
810
00:41:52,949 --> 00:41:54,486
Hi.
811
00:41:54,522 --> 00:41:55,855
Hey.
812
00:41:58,794 --> 00:42:00,626
Man,
813
00:42:00,662 --> 00:42:04,362
I don't know how Steve and
I got from loving each other
814
00:42:04,398 --> 00:42:06,164
to this shit show,
815
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:09,434
but we should definitely
have split up earlier
816
00:42:09,470 --> 00:42:12,270
when we still had a
chance to be friends.
817
00:42:12,306 --> 00:42:13,703
God.
818
00:42:17,912 --> 00:42:19,311
Well...
819
00:42:19,347 --> 00:42:20,783
that's, um...
820
00:42:21,649 --> 00:42:25,654
that's kinda what I've been
thinking about you and me.
821
00:42:31,192 --> 00:42:33,395
I mean, from where we are now...
822
00:42:35,830 --> 00:42:38,233
this probably isn't gonna get better.
823
00:42:41,269 --> 00:42:42,271
Yeah.
824
00:42:46,007 --> 00:42:47,209
It's not.
825
00:42:55,050 --> 00:42:57,682
Two back-to-back breakups.
826
00:42:57,718 --> 00:42:59,921
I'm killin' it over here.
827
00:43:13,902 --> 00:43:15,667
And just like that,
828
00:43:15,703 --> 00:43:19,671
I realized some relationships
are meant to stay in the past.
829
00:43:24,212 --> 00:43:27,278
And some aren't.
830
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:49,000
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- www.addic7ed.com -
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